HemoLife Podcast
Welcome to the HemoLife Podcast, where we explore how to live an elite life while managing a bleeding disorder or other rare conditions. Dive into educational, entertaining content with stories of high achievers, expert advice on mental health, nutrition, and exercise, and the latest relevant news to elevate your mind, body, and soul.
HemoLife Podcast
LIVE at HFA San Diego
Three men with hemophilia share their powerful journeys of transforming physical limitations into sources of strength, purpose, and community connection.
The conversation opens with Caleb, a first-year public health student at Cornell University with aspirations to become a hematologist, and Carlin, a competitive swimmer turned coach who specifically trains hemophiliacs. Both guests offer candid insights about growing up with the dreaded restriction of "no physical contact sports" - a limitation that sparked both rebellion and creativity in finding their athletic paths.
A fascinating discussion unfolds around the unique challenge hemophiliacs face when exercising: distinguishing between normal muscle soreness and potentially dangerous bleeds. "We're so caught up on bleeding and hemophilia that we forget that we are still normal people. We still can be sore and not have a bleed," Carlin explains, highlighting the delicate balance of "pushing boundaries within parameters."
The conversation takes a deeper turn when exploring mental health challenges. Caleb introduces the concept of "allostatic load" - the physiological impact of chronic stress - particularly relevant for those navigating a chronic condition alongside other life challenges. Both guests emphasize how crucial support systems are, with Carlin revealing his profound transformation after hitting rock bottom: "If I don't want to live for myself, who do I want to live for? I thought about that little kid who was suffering and was like, what if I can create a man that little kid would have looked up to?"
This powerful episode culminates with reflections on finding purpose through adversity and the invaluable connection of the hemophilia community. As host Elia shares his personal mantra "use adversity to change lives," listeners are left with a compelling reminder that limitations need not define us but can become catalysts for growth and positive impact.
Ready to transform your own challenges into opportunities? Subscribe to the Hemolife podcast and join our community of extraordinary achievers who refuse to be defined by their diagnoses.
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Welcome to the Hemolife podcast your gateway to transformation and empowerment. Hosted by Elia Aguayo, we're diving deep into the world of rare disorders, unlocking the full spectrum of your potential. Each episode, join us as we connect with pioneers, wellness experts and true survivors. They're here to share powerful stories and invaluable insights, from mental resilience to physical health, community news to life-altering strategies. At Hemolife, we provide the tools you need to excel and inspire, prepare to elevate your life, learn, laugh and grow with us. Let's embark on this journey together.
Speaker 4:This is our third episode of the Hemo Life podcast. I appreciate you joining me, Carlin. I know you're going to be showing up to my house pretty soon.
Speaker 2:We're going to do our live in-person episode. Can't wait for that, yeah that'd be exciting.
Speaker 4:I also wanted to introduce you to caleb. I actually went to the gym and I saw him in there with his cousins and they were. They were working hard and I was impressed. So I had to talk to him and hey ends and on the podcast, but what's?
Speaker 2:up, that's right. How are you doing, caleb? Nice to meet you, man yeah, so.
Speaker 3:So I have a brother and a nephew that has some affiliate with me, um, so, yeah, now we got together with la. You know like who's this big, strong guy. Yeah, check it, this out, kick it off.
Speaker 4:So it's pretty cool yeah yeah, man, he's and caleb's got a powerful like journey so far and you know he's. He's looking to be a hematologist. Thank you guys. Yeah, hematologist and like really kind of deep dive into nutrition as well. But you can tell a little bit more about what your mission is?
Speaker 3:right. So, like what I'm doing right now is I'm currently a first year public health student at cornell university, so I have a concentration in food systems. So I'm looking at the science of food, of the food system, greater environment, how it plays into, you know, just people having access to access and quality foods, you know. That's why I was kind of asking you a little bit about what the nutrition is, personally, with hemophilia it's definitely associated with that. Yeah, my end goal is definitely to go into medical school to be a doctor. I'm still debating as to the specifics, but ultimately I going to stay within the realm of research and, yeah, however that looks. So, yeah, that's kind of like where I'm at right now how long is that process to like get to that so?
Speaker 3:there's a lot of different routes when it goes. When it comes to, like, going into medical school and stuff me personally. Um, I got my undergraduate degree for four years, but I went to israel college, got my undergraduate degree for four years, but I went to Ithaca College, got my undergraduate degree in public health. It was through public health that I kind of saw that nuance of population health. But I've also seen how the population of hemophiliacs were related very closely with public health. When you think about things like the history of hemophiliacs and HIV AIDS epidemic, you know that's a direct public health. You know, when you think about things like the history of hemophilia, hiv AIDS epidemic, you know that's a direct public health issue.
Speaker 3:I wanted to add that layer to my education, in addition to the medical side, because I think it gives a holistic picture of just health and then you could break it down from the individual all the way to the you know, population level. Yeah, I'm just very passionate about just pushing the research and understanding what you feel. So, yeah, that's kind of like my passion.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I mean, you know there's got to be so much more to your story that got you to this point. You know this mindset, this you know passion for for helping out communities. I want to deep dive and ask you a few more questions here. But, carlin, why don't you? This is your first time on the HEMA Live podcast why don't you introduce yourself?
Speaker 2:Hello, I am Carlin, commonly known as Mike Lips as my Instagram handle. I was born with hemophilia. I was a competitive swimmer all my life. I am now a competitive swim coach. I coach clubs year round and I also double-double into personal training. The personal training is mainly to try to help those hematopoietics that don't know where to start. Working out is a great tool to try to keep your body going and keep you going, because when I work out, I mean it's just. I mean each day gets better and better.
Speaker 4:I know you went to college. You were competing at a high level in swimming.
Speaker 2:I ripped two of my rotator cuffs. I had to have surgery on my rotator cuff, went back to swimming, dropped some pounds in swimming, then I went back and once I went back I swam maybe one swim meet. When I went back and my rotator cuff started to hurt again. So I went to get another MRI and they told me either you can have another surgery or you can just be done with swimming. And I kind of was just like, okay, I stepped away for a little while and I picked up bodybuilding.
Speaker 2:I kind of it took a while for me to pick up bodybuilding. I just didn't quit. I came back home from St Louis Missouri, stayed at my parents' house for a few years to get back to kind of find my kind of grounding again, I guess you could say. And towards the end of like 2022,. That's when I kind of was like okay, something has to change, I have to get back going, something has to give here. So that's when I got into bodybuilding and from there it's kind of it progressed me.
Speaker 2:Like when you hear the saying the gym changes your life, that's like a real saying, because if it wasn't for me getting back into the gym, some of the doors that opened after me getting into the gym would have never been open because literally right after I got back into the gym I kind of my brother reached out and we got into. We got, we got able to coach for a high school and middle school swim team down in houston, texas, called audi international school and we are now three-time defending and champions me and my brother. So just having that opportunity and that opportunity alone opened another door for me to go coach clubs for me, yeah. So, like it's, having the bleeding disorder itself is challenging and it's an all then, when you put in just a normal day to life that you have to keep up with can be challenging, but at the end of the day I like to remind myself of, like, if I keep going and I keep putting my steps in front of my other steps, there's something that will happen at the end.
Speaker 4:Yeah, so it sounds like you're. I mean, I kind of believe in that too. You know, it's almost like an energy, like being in the gym. You're creating a new energy, a new frequency within the world, and the world has to respond to that new energy that you're putting out there and then, like you said, doors start to open up. You might not know where those doors are coming from, but just the way you present yourself, the way you walk, the way you talk, your confidence, everything I mean I do believe, I mean I'm on the same belief as you, so we're kind of on the same path. As far as you know fit, you know using fitness to change people's lives and the human feeling of community, and uh, yeah, I'm super proud of what you've been doing.
Speaker 2:Man, I know you just got done competing too, yes, I did just compete in my first bodybuilding show here in 2023. There's thoughts excuse me, there's thoughts of doing another one. I don't know when I would do another one, but there are thoughts of me going to do another one. Right now, I am in the process of my cut. When I started my cut, I started off at like 240, and I started that in January, yeah, and now I'm at like 213.
Speaker 2:Nice Going good, the cut's going pretty good. So the goal is, by the time I get down there to you for the live incursion interview, to try to be under 210, close to knocking like 205 I'm gonna make you take your shirt off in the front of the camera.
Speaker 4:If you don't have a six pack, you're out. Man, I don't know if you've seen andy this packer. You're gone, bro. But hey, caleb, I want to ask you, man, like, how do you feel like he was kind of talking about changing his energy? You know, like in the gym, I mean, there's a lot of ways you can probably change your energy and stuff, and how the world reacts, like do you have any experience with?
Speaker 3:like with that process? Oh, definitely like similarly to karma. Like you know, I ran track in high school for four years. That was like my uh, my like first outlet and it was through, uh, so, taking a step back, actually growing up.
Speaker 3:I think one of the shared sentiments that a lot of human feelings have is, you know, we are constrained to doing physical activities. You know, just because of the limitation that comes with our condition, the risk factors that are associated, you know, just by like hitting or any physical contact. So there was this term that my hematologist always used to say to me and my mom it's no physical contact sports. So like when you actually break that down, like that's the jargiest sport. So it's like you're telling a child, hey, you can't go play with the other kids outside because of this condition. I'm trying to explain that to a child with this. You know they just want to have fun and stuff. For me, like it's a lot of advocating and pushing. So I finally was like you know, in high school I found track and that was sort of that middle where it was physical but not really. But I was like, hey, I'll take it and I ran with it.
Speaker 4:Did you want to did it? Did them telling you no? Did that make you want to rebel? Did you just already have such a passion for it Also?
Speaker 3:kind of a mixture Right. That's exactly what happened. I'm from New York City so, like you know, the first thing they would say to me is that you can't do something, I'm going to do it. That's just sort of the energy. Especially with my growing up in that household I was still known so much I kind of turned resentful.
Speaker 3:I was resentful, I wanted to run. I ended up going down this very hectic path to school growing up. Some of the situations that I was in you'd be like why is this hemophiliac child even in this area? But yeah, you know, um, I made it work and then I went to college for a couple years, um, before covid happened, I went in 2019 and then coped. So, yeah, like so kind of similar to your story. You know that was my health and fitness and working out um, yeah, no it definitely was a part for me that.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's part of my story, for sure yeah, I always feel that's like a common sentiment between a lot of the hemophiliacs is that we feel like it's like us versus this thing, Us versus hemophilia. You know, and I know me personally. Growing up I tried every job out there. You know landscaping, construction, all those hardworking jobs and I wanted to prove like I could be a man. You know I can do this, but my body would not stop telling me and remind me like you can't do this, yeah, and that is so and that's something I think a lot of hemophiliacs share.
Speaker 3:Dude, something to prove. I think that's what you're kind of learning to like I have something.
Speaker 4:Could that be dangerous, though? Like trying to prove too much against your disorder.
Speaker 3:Definitely because you know. It's like I think the question comes more about like how can you communicate to hemophiliacs like you could push your boundaries within parameters. That kind of makes sense. It's a little weird when you think about it. Yeah, it's like it's pushing boundaries out the parameters, but again, but it does make sense to me. I get it, it does. Yeah, that's funny. So you know, I think like we all kind of in a similar situation where yeah we have something to prove, you know.
Speaker 3:We want to put adversity, you know know. Persevere, yeah, I think that's something every hemophilia could relate to in some sense.
Speaker 4:Yeah, for sure. What do you feel? How do you feel about that, carlin? I mean?
Speaker 2:that's definitely, that's definitely. He hit it right on the nail when he said you have to, you have to push it, but stay in those parameters. Because I mean, in my eighth grade year I switched schools because I was going through a little rough time. So I switched schools and I had to stop swimming for a while. I learned how to swim when I was four years old, by the way. So I stopped swimming for a while and I was like, mom, I just can't not do anything. So I was like, can I play basketball? So I asked my mom to let me play basketball. She took the longest time to say yes. It took a lot of please. I know what I'm doing Because I already played. I had an older brother, so I was already playing with my older brother. It was just like, mom, let me go try it out for once.
Speaker 2:I tried it out and out of the whole season I probably had like two, maybe three ankle bleeds. And that's when I was like, okay, I did it, it was fine, I don't need it anymore. I mean like, even that I'm older now I can still go play like pickup games and here and there, but like the biggest thing when you have this bleeding disorder is knowing your body and a lot of the people that I have DM'd and DM'd back and forth. When it comes to working out, you can very easily mistaken, and this comes out of fear, I feel like, because I did the same thing when I was swimming. It comes out of fear.
Speaker 2:You can very easily mistaken and this comes out of fear, I feel like, because I did the same thing when I was swimming. It comes out of fear. You can mistake soreness for a bleed and it not even we're so caught up on bleeding and hemophilia that we forget that we are still normal people. We still can be sore and not have a bleed, and I feel like once a lot of hemophiliacs understand that and understand their bodies, we can kind of start to because now, like when I go play basketball, I'm like very aware, like I just don't go out there and like try to fly everywhere.
Speaker 2:Like when I come down, I'm looking to where I'm coming down at. So, like most of the things I do is just, I try to be more aware and like, when people come down, I'm looking to where I'm coming down at. So, like most of the things I do, it's just I try to be more aware and like, when people see me coming because I'm big, they think I'm just about to run right through them. No, I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to get hurt.
Speaker 4:Yeah. So one thing like you made me think of the other day when I was in the gym I was, I started to think about knowing the difference between pushing to like, like through the pain, like what's like, because you are going to have experienced some kind of pain when you work out, but it's a certain type of pain. So, like understanding, is this joint pain, is this pain going to give me a bleed, or is this pain the natural process of breaking down muscle? It's like a, it's a different, it's like it's a burn, but it's. You know that the burn is in the right area. It's in the right part muscle that you're going after. But there is a fine line, you know, because I remember when I first started, my joints would hurt. I'd be like oh, I don't care, I'm pushing through the pain, I'm going to get big. That's a mistake, though You're going to get hurt that way.
Speaker 3:So I mean, we'll dive deeper into harp on your point a little bit too. You know, with that as well, it's, it's, that is something I think it's so like real, like, like how can you distinguish sometimes, like it? You know, because I go to the gym a lot too, with my brother as well. You know we're big gym guys, you know we love to live, know again, that's something that you kind of highlighted it very well Like it's so hard to tell, like you know, in the gym, you know the gym culture is like hey, or fitness culture, you got to push through your pain, that's one of the things.
Speaker 3:But what does that mean for hemophilia? Like, push, like, push the lead or like, but like the repercussions for that, and that was something that's a nuance to our community that only we, at least to my understanding, that we really, um, have to uh sort of deal with when we're trying to, you know, just stay healthy, stay in shape or like. You know both of you, uh, gentlemen, are, you know, working out? You know, in the fitness industry. So I'm sure this is something that you have to handle all the time, like, okay, is this a muscle contraction or causing a bleed in my joint or something, and it's a tricky place to navigate.
Speaker 4:So definitely, I can be fearful for some, especially if they go in there and get hurt and they get discouraged and then they're like, okay, I'm never doing this again. So I think what you're doing with your mission, with fitness, I think it's important to help you out. One thing I'm gonna ask Caleb to ask caleb to kind of go to a different subject is you know, I feel like we all go through like really uh, hard time setbacks where we experience a lot of adversity, and one thing that I see in the community is some people know how to get back up and have the right mindset, or somehow they develop that right mindset to persevere. Caleb, like, is there any like times that you've gone through like mental depression or setbacks and then like, how did you overcome that? Did you have to develop a certain mindset or take certain actions?
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, that's a great question. I want to just point out, put it out there too, like I'm a very, very big advocate for men's mental health just across the board. You know, especially for hemophiliacs, because nobody understands what we go through. You know, because it's so, it's so nuanced what we deal with. So, kind of going back to your question about mental health, definitely as a child, when you're restricted from your community you're not going to do things and growing up that's going to have mental health implications. But I also think that question is very it's a very tricky question to go into as well, just because it's very multifactorial in the sense of what plays into the roles of people developing mental health issues. And I think, um, you know, it could come from your households, where you know some people come from more privileged households than others. Now, being a hemophiliac in a home versus a poor home, that's going to be a significant difference as well.
Speaker 3:I kind of fall on the the lower end in terms of socioeconomic status I come from. You know my parents. They came from Puerto Rico to the States, yeah, you know, and my mom always knew that she was a carrier. You know, I had seven uncles with hemophilia, so this isn't something new, but my mother always knew that hemophilia was a potential when she has children. So you know, growing up in that environment and I was wanting to navigate that, yeah I realized I was going to do so many mental health challenges that I didn't even know they were mental challenges. You know, because as a man you know, especially in the culture that I come from in new york city, at that it's so like it's just chaotic, just man up, figure it out. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 4:So your environment almost prepared you to be like tough enough to handle everything 100%. So you're saying that's kind of an advantage for you then, that you grew up in a tougher environment to deal with a disorder like this.
Speaker 3:It's an advantage, but at the same time, it's also like it's very it could have its setbacks as well because of the fact, like you're growing up. So this is term that is called allostatic load. I don't know if you're familiar with it.
Speaker 3:So this term basically is when, as humans, we have this fight or flight instinct. You know it's primitive, it goes back to our bottom. So allostatic load is essentially that fight or flight activating in our systems where we enter this high state and our body is basically telling us to you know, engage or run away. That feeling and experience on a physiological level is supposed to be temporary. People who come from environments where it's constantly chaotic they're experiencing that allostatic load constantly and what that leads to is something called allostatic overload. Allostatic overload has detrimental health effects and that can lead to things like heightened mental health issues, physical issues, you know the list goes down.
Speaker 3:So these are real terms that people are dealing with that they don't even know how to communicate you know so I would say, like it wasn't up until I started going to get my education that I learned, like this is what I was experiencing all my life because I knew I was experiencing something, but this was so, yeah, tying that back with hemophilia, and I was in this allostatic load, like no, yeah, it's.
Speaker 3:It definitely amplified my mental health as well, and that alone was a barrier to overcome. And I think the question he was asking is like how did I learn to overcome it? Honestly, um, it's, it's. It's a lot of answers, but I think one thing that comes to mind is just my support system. I know I have my best friend. He's in the room with me too, and he was a big person in my life that was always there for me, whether it was through leads, whether it was through things outside of life. Just having that person or people in your support system is something that is important. You need to miss out on a person, yeah. So I think that's just a quick answer that comes to mind, but I think it's one of those things. It's a deeper dive discussion.
Speaker 4:Yeah, no, but I'm glad I asked that because, based on what you said, that's the fact that it took you, you know, you know, to get into college, get more educated, to understand that, like you, you have to figure out what the root cause is, usually in order to overcome something, some of your struggles. That's really cool. I have to look more into that. I'm sure that can help some people who live in that same environment I, I wasn't in that environment.
Speaker 3:I'm sure it doesn't affect me so let me kind of ask you, like because you know we just met you last week and stuff, so I mean, um, what was your experiences like with that too? Because you know I'm I'm speaking from a point of view, yeah, yeah about that. So, like, what was your experiences like with that too? Because you know I'm speaking from a point of view, yeah. So, like, what was mental health like for you?
Speaker 4:Yeah. So for me, like looking back now, I've realized so much. I realized that I didn't have a support system, I didn't have my one go-to person, I didn't have a strong family unit. My parents got separated early on, had a bunch of new kids and then just started their own family on, had a bunch of new kids and then just started their own family and I was really told to just infuse on my own. Like you know, I learned how to self-induce early on and they just kind of looked at me to kind of handle my own business.
Speaker 4:I grew up in a tough love family so it wasn't like, oh, come here, baby, oh, let me go advocate for you, let me go, let me take you to a hemophilia conference, like you know, like it was none of that, it was just like there's just tough love. I don't even remember hugging my parents, you know like, oh, it took me to, like you know, and I suffered. I suffered a lot and I, looking back, I realized, man, I needed someone in my life, I needed a mentor, I needed to see someone who had what I had so that I could have a new belief system. And so I, when I hit rock bottom after my hep c treatments. I went through three months of uh interferon injections, where you inject yourself once a week and you're just like crazy sick throwing up. At the end of the three months I did get rid of the hepatitis C, but I was at an all-time low. I was a mess. I felt like I didn't own for the world. I didn't have any purpose anymore in my life and I decided to take a good look in the mirror and say, if I don't want to live for myself, who do I want to live for? I just thought about that little kid who was suffering and I was like what if I can create a man that that little kid would have looked up to, you know? And so that's been my journey ever since.
Speaker 4:And then I found bodybuilding and I saw the men's physique category. My ankles are completely locked, I can't straighten out my left elbow, my left arm, and. But when I sold the men's physique category I was like I think I can do that, I think I can look like that guy. And I just went on that journey. I started documenting it, like 10 years ago, on social media and I started getting feedback from it. People like you know for the first time somebody's showing like I wasn't. I never got the love as a kid, you know, but the community was showing me love and I was like, okay, here we go. This is it, this thing, you know, and I didn't even like I truly, to this day I don't even love bodybuilding Like I love what it did for my life. I love the process of bodybuilding and what it teaches you. I don't like being on stage as much I don't know something about. When I ever got on stage I just kind of lost it Like I don't know.
Speaker 3:That's so powerful, though, like your story alone, like, yeah, that, I think, is something that you know you touched on. Like you, you didn't have that support system. Yeah, and I think there's a lot of not just people failings, people like that don't have that person or community. Yeah, you know yeah, sometimes it's just you go through life and you see what you needed and, yeah, you're being that person for those people yeah, that's a strong story.
Speaker 4:Yeah, man, you live for other people. It gives you purpose. That's one thing I wanted to talk about. We'll make this the last topic, so it doesn't go too long. I wanted to talk about purpose real quick. Have you found purpose in your life and with what you've gone through? How do you actively pursue?
Speaker 2:Well, I definitely have found a purpose, and definitely with losing the not really losing the swimming aspect of things, but not coming from swimming for four years at four years of age. Then swimming all the way through college, all the way through high school, all the way through middle school pulled away from me, was tough, and already having hemophilia was tough as well. But then when I found the coaching job and I found the other coaching job and I found the bodybuilding side of things, that's when I kind of started to find my purpose. Then the main purpose here is to really show what we are capable of and what we can do. I am no different than LA, I'm no different than Caleb, I'm no different than anyone other hematuria that's out there. We all are capable of doing much more. It's just we were scared because the first words that doctors say is stay away from being physical.
Speaker 4:Yeah, how do you define purpose yourself?
Speaker 2:The purpose of myself would be. I just strive to be a better person each day because I have kids that I coach, that look up to me. So I'm getting pretty hard on myself the more and more I grow up, and I don't know if this is a good thing or bad thing, but if I don't hit the gym one day, I'm pretty hard on myself about it and it's like if I don't hit the gym, it's like, well, my kids fun today, but I didn't do this today. Yeah, because in order for me to give them 100%, I have to make sure that I take care of what I have to take care of. Yeah, so, like I make sure, the purpose for me is make sure I'm taking care of my body the way that I need to in order for me to keep going. Yeah, that's awesome, because if I don't take care of my body, then that's it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's crazy because I think you go through phases in life. The first phase of life is all about you, all about your growth, all that stuff. And then I think you start to find purpose when you start thinking about what you can do for other people and once you start giving back and you start changing other people's lives, you know big things start to happen for you and your life starts to come together. I think a lot of people get stuck because they're looking, they kind of have a victim mentality and they're so honed in on that and all they need to do is change that and start focusing on others.
Speaker 2:It's really hard to like get out of that mentality and the reason why I say that is because when you're growing up with hemophilia, when you first get it, you don't know you're the only one. You only hear doctors saying, yeah, there's many more of you, but you don't know you're the only one. So when you don't know you're the only one and I feel like most people don't know that they're the only one until they start to get older, yeah, then once they get older, that's when I feel like it's kind of starting to change. But when I was younger man, I feel like that was my hardest time dealing with a bleeding disorder, because no one really, if you didn't have that support system and you really didn't have like that best friend to talk to, no one really understands what you went through.
Speaker 2:You can go to school in a crutch one day. Then the next day you don't go to school with a crutch. Everyone's thinking you're playing now, you're not hurt. Or you can be in a wheelchair for a month or two. The next thing next month, you're walking. No one believes you. You weren't hurt, you just wanted to be in a wheelchair. You weren't hurt, you just wanted to be in a wheelchair. So then just try to find different little things. And being a kid at that age, kids are, so You're a kid, so you really don't know what's going on.
Speaker 2:So if I wasn't swimming, my other outing was playing chess. So I wanted to go play chess, so I joined the chess club. You got picked on for joining the chess club. So it was just every little thing that you do and you get picked on for it joining the chess club. So it was just like every little thing that you do and you get picked on for it.
Speaker 2:While having the bleeding disorder it was just like, okay, where do I go from here? Like what do I do? Anything I do I'm getting picked on for. Yeah, so the saying of like be you, that is something that I have grown to learn since I've kind of grown up. That is really something that I have grown to learn because I spent half of, probably half of my life trying to find what's me and now that I have sat down at that time to really find my ground without the swimming part of my life, it is really slowly coming together. I am still kind of finding those, those big pieces that I need, but for the most part. I mean it's really important to be you to the fullest, because if we're not you to the fullest, it makes it a lot harder.
Speaker 4:Yeah. So, caleb, do you want to answer that one about, like, how do you define purpose and what you do on a daily basis to actively pursue?
Speaker 3:it? No, definitely, and like I think Carline definitely hit on so many points that you know, I just I completely relate to and sense and I'm sure there's a lot you relate to as well and I think, to your question on purpose, that's a loaded question because, like, there's some people who are like in the half, the second half of their life and they don't even have a purpose or don't know what a purpose is. I think in my case, you know, purpose is something like that. I'm still sort of figuring out, you know. So I think over time I've learned to like dislike myself, you know, I think one of the things that Carlyle pointed out that's something I personally struggle with as well is, you know, being your big, your own biggest critique when you're not doing xyz, because you know maybe your purpose is, is, is, um, there, but you're not giving yourself that, that 100 to uh actualize your purpose.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think so far it feels like the direction in my life that I'm going towards is just to get back to the, this community, and it's interesting because this is a community that I recently getting into, because I didn't even know this was a community that existed up until two years ago. Really honestly, I thought I was the only one in my life, not only, but like people out there, but, yeah, and then come find out, like these newsletters, and there's a community HFA. I'm like this is big events like this, I'm like whoa and in a way I feel like I'm a big fan of God, you know, and I do feel that God sort of puts you in places in unexpected ways, and I think that kind of circles back to this idea of purpose, like for me at at least, you know, my purpose is what god wants. So my purpose, I think, you know, I think we're all what we need to be up, yeah, you know, maybe I can't define exactly what that purpose is. Yeah, but you know what I am doing and giving back is it feels right. So maybe, maybe that, yeah, that's god.
Speaker 4:I love that man. I like I'm a man of god, I'm a christian man. I pray every day, ask for clarity and guidance, and I do the same thing, for sure, and so I love that. I think that purpose could evolve too as you grow. As you've heard of him, I used to study him all the time, and what I love I implemented this about seven years ago and what he likes to do is like create something called the destiny statement. Yeah, and basically you use about five to eight words to create this statement and you use it as a compass in your life. So I'll give you an example of what mine looked like, and you want to use the least amount of words as possible, and I came up with use adversity to change lives and basically. So I posted that statement on my wall, I put it in my background for my phone and stuff.
Speaker 4:No-transcript. Why you need a compass in your life is you're always going to have setbacks and all of a sudden, you're going to find yourself going way off course. You know, okay, now I'm doing drugs, now I'm, you know, doing this. Is this using adversity to change lives? No, it's not. So I need to get back on track. You know, is this job really taking me in that direction? No, you know. If somebody asks you, do you want to attend an event? Yes or no? Yes, if it's taking me to using adversity to change lives, you know, and I don't know, I just fall back on that, fall off. I thought it was really cool. I use that. I'm not going to operate that. That sounds like yeah, I need to to do it to sort of, or just more people in general, just sort of.
Speaker 4:You know, and what's crazy is I did that seven years ago and during covid. I wrote a book called adversity equals opportunity and I just found that being my thing was that I changed my mindset. Whether I got into a bad relationship, I got in trouble with the law, whatever, it is like dude, I flipped my mindset to where's the opportunity here, like, instead of being like, oh man, my life sucks, why did this happen to me? Why do I have hemophilia? Whatever it's like anytime something bad happens. Now that's like. You know, I talked about it before. I was like my superpower now, where I'm just like, okay, where's the opportunity in this? And then, and so, yeah, so now it's like and once you do that so many times you start developing character and yourself that's going to be able to help other people you know. So that's that's me using adversity to change lives.
Speaker 3:Sometimes it's the imperfect situations that make the best situations.
Speaker 4:And hey, well, we're at the HFA event. Let me talk about this real quick. So, like, how's your, how's your experience?
Speaker 3:Is this your second one? Okay, so this is a it's. It's great he's actually serving in the navy, so it's a big dude. Carlin, watch out man, he's coming for your title. He's stationed out here and it just so happened the hfa was in san diego. That's right out here, you know? Yeah, from new york, which is, you know, the outside of the country so we're like perfect opportunity.
Speaker 3:We out here having a good time and carlin we definitely gotta lock into him and I'm gonna get your contact from um, just let me know, yeah, definitely, yeah, it's so good to be in a community of people that understand. I think that's the one thing that I appreciate is that we call, come up with like we understand what this is, even how it manifests differently individual life. Yeah, yeah that's awesome.
Speaker 4:I heard next year it's gonna be in New Orleans, yeah, so you gotta go to that. Carlin, you got to pop, I'll come.
Speaker 2:I'll start coming to him. I got to get back into him. I used to go to him when I was younger. It's just when I got older. I haven't been back.
Speaker 4:But yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, all right, no problem.
Speaker 4:Thank you.
Speaker 1:Thank you for tuning into the Hemo Life podcast. Today's episode hopefully inspired you and provided valuable insights to enhance your journey. Join us again to hear more incredible stories and expert advice from our community. Make sure to subscribe and stay connected with a group of extraordinary achievers and pioneers. On behalf of LA Aguayo and the entire Hemo Life team keep pushing forward, Strive for excellence and remember you are the architect of your own destiny. Until next time, stay strong, stay inspired and continue on your path to an elite life.