Embracing Rejection -Kevin Forney

Rejection is a feeling that sticks with us for a lifetime if we aren’t careful. Everyone faces it and experiences it. This episode is about the what ifs… what is we embrace rejection? What if we refuse to be paralyzed by fear? What if we try to get rejected often? What would the possibilities be? God can lead us but we have to put our trust in Him and put everything else aside. Do it for Him, do it for His glory, and then we can trust Him to help us be successful. 

Transcript

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SPEAKER_02 0:09

Welcome to the Boots and Suits Podcast. My name is Kevin Forney, and I thank you for joining me today. I've been thinking about the podcast and what it's supposed to look like and become what it's supposed to evolve into, and I've taken a little break from producing content and just weighing all of those things in. I've heard from a bunch of people, many of you. I had not really looked at any of the data or data, however you want to say that. And I was looking over these episodes that have been posted, and I was actually encouraged there's more people listening than I thought there was. And it's kind of neat because I haven't advertised this on any social media. I haven't shared it with anybody. And it's kind of neat. One of the ironic things is the most listened to episode uh on the podcast so far is episode number four, the highs and lows of doing ministry. And that guest was my wife, and that is actually the most listened to podcast to this point, which is kind of funny. Uh, not by a huge margin, but it is kind of funny. Obviously, you like to hear from my wife, and uh she's probably more of an important voice than mine, and I know she is in my life. So the I'd like to uh what we're going to do is actually the next episode that's coming out, not because of this, this was already planned, is a recap of her and I having a conversation about her trip to Peru. Uh, she went on a nine-day mission trip. She was gone a total of nine days. I had the kids all by myself for nine days. Uh, you're very I'm very lucky to even survive, but she had a great trip, and she's gonna be giving a recap for on that trip during the next episode. In this particular episode, I've been thinking a lot r lately about rejection. Rejection is uh it kind of goes hand in hand with the last episode I put out with the uh labeled The Voices in Your Head. And rejection is a very difficult thing for us to process. It's a very difficult thing for us to get over. The voices in our head oftentimes come from rejection. We are people that like to uh feel good and we don't like we like to be comfortable. I'm that way, and I know many people are. There's a there's a security in being comfortable. I I was thinking in regards to the story of the master who gave uh the parable in the Bible, uh, I believe it's Matthew chapter 25, and there in the middle of that chapter, there's a story, uh, a parable that Jesus tells about a master who gives talents, uh, talents in this instance was a currency, and he gives three different guys, his these servants, uh, these talents. And he he gives them a talent, the ta the amount of talents based on what they could uh basically what they could handle. And so one of them he gave five talents, and another guy he gave two talents, and another guy he gives one talent. And it says in uh chapter 15, I believe, that every man according to his ability. And he then he went on a journey, and after a time he comes back and he basically asks, you know, I'd like my money back. What have you done with this this money? What have you done with the talents I've given you? And they present them. The one that had five talents, uh, he went and traded the same, and he brought back another five talents. And likewise the person in verse 17 uh that he received two talents and he gained another two. So both of these guys took their talents, this currency, they worked with it, they traded with it, they invested it, and they both doubled their talents. The guy that was given one talent, this guy gets a bad rap. And, you know, rightfully so. There's been a lot of messages preached on this passage. I personally have heard dozens of messages in my lifetime preached on this. I have taught a Sunday school lesson or two uh on this passage. It's it and it's so applicable even today. And this guy that has one, he received one and he he dug it into the earth and he hid the Lord's money. And the Lord he beckons him to come, and when he does, he actually this backfires a little bit on this guy. And and we know most of us would know this story well. He asks for these talons back, and the the guy with five, he hears well now has ten, he hears, well done, thy good and faithful servant. The guy that had two and now has four, he also hears, Well done, thou good and faithful servant servant. And the one that received the one, he in verse twenty-four, he brought it back and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art a hard man, reaping while where thou hast not sh sown, and gathering while thou hast not strong. This is old verbiage, obviously. In other words, this is uh I I believe the emphasis here is uh I knew that thou art a hard man, so he has fear. He has fear of the master. He was operating out of a place of uh fear, and I was afraid, verse twenty five, it literally says, And I was afraid and went and hid thy talent in the earth. And the Lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knowest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strong. Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money in the exchangers, in other words, used it, invested it, grown it, and then at my coming I would have received my own with usury, or with extra the extra, the excess. Take therefore the talent from him and give it unto him that hath ten talents, for unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance, but from him that hath not shall be taken away and cast ye the unprofitable servant into the outer darkness. There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. This is an extreme it seems like a bit of an extreme example. But in this day and age I believe that this is so applicable in my life, and I believe it's applicable in your life, and here's what I'd like to point out. This man was chastised and cast aside and thrown out, not because necessarily I don't think of the fear, there was fear, but it started with him not recognizing and having faith in the master. If he would have gone and used that money, and he would have grown that mount that money, that amount of money, if he would have gone and uh done something, even taken some risk, did his best to produce something with that money, I believe the master would have been okay with it. But the master was very frustrated because he did not have confidence in the master, the the servant. He did not have confidence in him. He misread the room, he he felt like that that he was gonna he was so afraid to do anything with it that he just buried it and didn't use it for anything.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

And the master says, okay, strip this man of what I've given him.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

And give it to the guy with the most because he has shown that I've gave him a lot and he increased it a lot, and he can manage it, and this is the guy that I'm gonna take this money from and give it to him because I know he has confidence in me, and he is allowing he has faith in me, he's gonna allow me to help him, guide him to grow that money. And the man who misread the room and played it safe, he got thrown into outer darkness. I would ask you, and I've been asking myself, what are you, what am I doing with my talents? Not in the money sense, but in the actual word talent, the the abilities, the strengths, the the characteristics that God has given me. What am I uh limiting myself with? What am I refusing to act in? A man who buries his talent is trying to earn safety by keeping a clean record. I heard that quote recently. I have a quote's great sayings to live by tab in my pages app on my phone, and and uh I heard that recently and I put it in there a man who buries his talent is trying to earn safety by keeping a clean record. A clean record, a record that doesn't have failure in it. A record that doesn't have um you know anybody to what when you don't do anything, there's nothing in the record for people to talk about you in a negative way. Theodore Roosevelt said years ago, many years ago, that comparison is the thief of all joy. Comparison is the thief of all joy. Many times I find myself and I'm comparing myself to people around me. I'm comparing myself, my uh I'm I've seen how I stack up against so and so. If you've listened to any of these episodes before, you know that I'm new to the ministry and new to preaching. Uh I felt like I was to do that. I was supposed to do this for a long time, and it took me till I was 35 years old to get to a place of surrender in this area, and so I was late to the game. One of the things that always scared me to death was the fact that from where I was living to where I felt like God was needing me or wanting me to be, I needed a massive bridge. I needed a bridge to bridge the gap from where I was to where I was supposed to be, and honestly, it was impossible. And when I started to surrender, I got some good counsel, and I started to surrender and be open to the idea, and it was amazing to me that I God just didn't build a bridge at all. I couldn't have handled going across a bridge. But what he did do is he started to give um uh stepping stones, if you will, one one one area at a time, things that I could handle, things that I could do. He uh the door opened for me to take a Sunday school class. Um you know, right after I prayed through. The Sunday school teacher of the young adult Sunday school class at my church needed a break and was looking, they were looking for somebody. I'm saying within weeks, and they asked me to consider taking it, and I didn't want to. Uh I still don't want to. I've been teaching it for four years, and I I I still don't really want to sometimes. But what it did do is it got me in front of people every week, and every Sunday. That first two years, I had one one, two Sundays off. Two Sundays off in two years, and so for a hundred and two Sundays out of the hundred and four Sundays, I stood in front of that class, and I had to prepare something, I had to come up with something. Uh, many times, even still, I struggle with inspiration on what to talk about. Still, I'm finding myself uh changing my tactics and the way I come at things, and really just working on me. Um and but it was getting me in front of people. It was the entry level getting in front of people, preparing, trying to sound somewhat intelligent. One of the things that I've been running into in the podcast is they that guys appreciate transparency, and that's the way I tend to talk and speak and even preach. I have transparency because I, you know, I'm not a deep theologian, and it doesn't mean that I'm not trying to grow in that area, it just means that I'm never going to probably be a deep theologian, and uh, but what I can do is tell you what Jesus has done for me, and I can just tell you that if he can do it for me, he could do it for you. And I felt like that being transparent is actually going to be a big part of my ministry, and that's what this podcast is about. You know, I don't want to tell anybody my failures and my dirty laundry. Nobody wants to hang their dirty laundry out. You don't, I don't. And when you do that, you leave a little part of that behind. You, you know, are you're exposing the fact that without God I'm weak and he makes me strong. And that, but that's what he's had to teach me is to realize that my strength is in him, and that when I become willing to step out of my comfort zone, then it doesn't matter if I fail or feel some rejection. I'm actually not doing this for anybody else. I'm doing this for God, my master. I'm in trying to invest some of the talents and the abilities that he's given me, and and I if he's led me there and exposes a need or places me in a place in front of an open door, well then I'm just gonna walk through it because I'm trusting my master. And so the failure, the rejection, although it hurts and it's embarrassing at times, it's okay. Because my identity is not wrapped up in who I am and who I think others think I am. My identity needs to be wrapped up in Jesus, and that I'm just a willing servant, and I'm just somebody that has gotten tired of living close to the edge, and I'm I'm frustrated with lukewarmness and fear of failure and fear of being rejected. And I'm frustrated with wondering what if what if I did something and everything went right? What if I did something and everything went wrong? And I've been realizing that it's okay to not always hit the ball out of the part. A couple of weeks ago, I filled in at a church and going into it I didn't have a lot of details, and so in the morning, I I felt like I knew what I was gonna preach in the morning, and in the evening I wasn't sure. And I talked when I got there, I talked to the people that were in charge, and they said, Well, normally in the Saturday evenings, we just we kind of or Sunday evenings, excuse me, we do like a Bible study. It's not a traditional style service, it's more of an interactive, and I'll be honest, something died inside of me over the last four years. One of my biggest struggles is having a Sunday school where there's a lot of discussion and there's a lot of like Bible study type setting. It it honestly, I struggle, and I'm geared and wired to preach or to speak, and so I'll bring a lesson, but if I'm not careful, and a lot oftentimes I'll find myself just speaking the whole time, and because it, you know, people are not quick to chime in. And I hate dead quiet silence where everybody's looking down, hoping the next person speaks up. It drives me crazy. Honestly, it drives me crazy. What happens? I, you know, I'll ask for some discussion, everybody looks down, hoping somebody speaks up. And I'll sit there and I'm thinking all week long, I worked just like you people did. And all week long I knew that I had to teach Sunday school. And all week long I had to carry a burden and pray and and seek God for his help on Sunday morning. And all I'm asking you to do is make a comment. And so it's been easier for me to instead of begging, pleading, prying, you know, I understand it's early in the morning, but seriously, we're all friends and adults in here, right? And uh and so I found myself just doing a lot of the speaking. And when they said that they do a Bible study in the evening as part of their main service, something inside of me died. Oh, I can't tell you. I was dreading it. I said, Well, I'll I'll I'll you know, I'll see. Um, maybe I'll preach or maybe I'll do a Bible study, and and uh they're like, well, whatever you do is gonna be fine. And I was gonna preach a message because that's that was safer for me. It was safer for me. And uh after the fact, I probably should have just preached a message. I didn't feel one way or the other, but I did accept I was leaning more the feeling I felt was to do the Bible study thing, and I didn't really have anything with me, and so I incorporated a sword drill as part of it. I I didn't know what I was doing, and honestly, it wasn't my best work. Uh, I felt like I floundered the whole way through, I was a little shorter than I probably should have been, and I felt like I was drinking from a fire hose, and it was just a difficult situation, and I came away from it feeling like a big flop. And but the truth is, I had after thinking about it, that is what I felt like I should do. And it was probably mostly just to stretch me and get me out of my comfort zone. And so the big failure that I was feeling, my wife told me later, she's like, it was fine, it wasn't as bad as you think it was. And I said, Well, it doesn't matter, it's already over. I can't take it back, right? And so just gotta focus on the next thing. But I heard something a couple of weeks ago, and I'm actually gonna uh play it for you here. It was a a guy who did a TED talk, and this back years ago, TED Talks were very popular, and it was a big thing that people were doing. Uh I don't know if you enjoy that sort of thing, but this guy is Chinese, and I I'm not even gonna try to pronounce his name, honestly. It's I'm probably not able to, but it's well, this is on YouTube. This clip is about 14 or 15 minutes long, and his name starts is spelled J I A. And then his last name is J I A N G. And uh however you say that, the title is What I Learned from 100 Days of Rejection. And I think that this is very important because we tend to run from rejection, we tend to try to avoid rejection, we try to manage the situation in a way that we won't be rejected. We hate the feeling of rejection, and oftentimes it goes all the way back to when we were young, some somewhere when we were a young person, maybe we were a child, maybe we were, you know, put in a position, and and and you know, you know what I'm talking about. Every one of us has things we can look back on. And it was terrible. Maybe you got passed picked last, passed by when they were picking sports teams, and you got picked last. Or maybe you did a a uh Christmas piece and it was a big flop in a play and everybody laughed at you, or maybe um for me, I I remember when I was a teenager and I sang a special song in a in a group and I had to sing a high part in that group, and I I could hit the note in practice. If I sang with confidence and like putting I I could easily hit the note, but I when I got up there, I was singing from more of a fearful part, and I struggled to hit the note. And I had a guy later after that uh tease me about you know trying to hit the high note and squeaking on it or something like that. And I'll be honest, I mean, I can remember to this day that guy's uh telling me that in detail. And if I'm being honest and transparent, which I am, I've never sang in a group since. And uh I was 16 or 17, and I'm 39 years old now, and I've never sang in a group since. And it's I have no interest. And I don't feel like that I want to do it, and now that I'm telling you about it, I'm probably gonna have to do it. But if I do do it, it'll be for Jesus. It'll be for him. Because I'm not doing it for you or for myself. I I would need to do it for Jesus, because then I know I believe that he would help me. This clip that I'm gonna play talks about this this guy talks about feeling rejection at a young age and him it doing something to him for a while. And then how he started to actually uh as he gets a little older, he actually uh tries to get rejected to learn from it. And I think it's a really benefici beneficial clip, and I'd like to play it for you.

SPEAKER_03 24:15

When I was six-year-old, I received my gifts. My first grade teacher had this brilliant idea. She wanted us to experience receiving gifts, but also learning the virtue of complimenting each other. So she had all of us come to the front of the classroom and she bought all of us gifts and stacked them in the corner. And she said, Why don't we just stand here and compliment each other? If you hear your name called, go and pick up your gifts and sit down. What a wonderful idea, right? What could go wrong? Well, there were 40 of us to start with, and every time when I hear someone's name called, I would give out the heartiest cheer. And then there were 20 people left and 10 people left and five left and three left. I was one of them. And the compliment stopped. Well, at that moment I was crying, and the teacher was freaking out. And she was like, Hey, would anyone say anything nice about these people? No one? Okay, why don't you go get your gift and sit down? So behave next year, someone might say something nice about you. Well, uh, as I'm describing this to you, you probably know I remember this really well. But I don't know who felt worse that day. Was that me or the teacher? She must realize that she turned a teen video event into a public roast for three six-year-olds. And without the humor, you know, when you see people get roasted on TV, it was funny. There was nothing funny about that day. So that that was one version of me, and I would die to avoid being in that situation again, to get rejected in public again. That's one version. Then fast forward eight years, um, Bill Gates came to my hometown, Beijing, China, to speak, and I saw his message. I love I fell in love with that guy. I thought, wow, I know what I want to do now. That night I wrote a letter to my family telling them by age 25, I will build the biggest company in the world, and that company will buy Microsoft. I totally embrace this idea of conquering the world, domination, right? And uh I didn't no, I didn't make this up. I did write that letter. And here it is. Um, I you don't have to read this through, and it's it's this is also bad handwriting, but I did highlight some keywords. Um you get the idea. So that was another version of me wanting to conquer the world. Well, then two years later, I was um presented with the opportunity to come to the United States. I jumped on it, and because that was where Bill Gates lived, right? So I I thought that was the start of my entrepreneurial journey. Then, fast forward another 14 years, I was 30. Nope, I didn't build that company. I didn't even start. I was actually uh marketing manager for a Fortune 500 company, and I felt I was stuck, I was stagnant. Why is that? Where is that 14-year-old who wrote that letter? It's not because he didn't try. It's because every time I want had a new idea, every time I wanted to try something new, even at work, I I wanted to make a proposal, I wanted to speak up in front of people in a group, I felt there was this constant battle between the 14-year-old and the six-year-old. One wanted to conquer the world, make a difference, another was afraid of rejection. And every time, that six-year-old won. And this fear even persisted after I started my own company. I mean, I started my own company when I was 30. Uh, if you want to be Bill Gates, you gotta start sooner or later, right? When I was an entrepreneur, I was presented with an investment opportunity. And then I was turned down. And that rejection hurt me. It hurt me so bad that I wanted to quit right there. But then I thought, hey, would Bill Gates quit after a simple investment rejection? Would any successful entrepreneur quit like that? No way. And this is where it clicked for me. Okay, I can build a better company, I can build a better team or better product, but one thing for sure, I gotta be a better leader, I gotta be a better person. I cannot let that six-year-old keep dictating my life anymore. I have to put him back to his place. So this is where I went online to look for help. Google was my friend. I said, how do I overcome the fear of rejection? I came up with a bunch of um psychology articles about where the fear and pain are coming from. Uh then I came up with a bunch of rah-rah inspirational articles about don't take it personally, just overcome it. Who doesn't know that? But why was I still so scared? Then I found this website by luck, it's called rejection therapy.com. Um rejection therapy was this game invented by this Canadian entrepreneur, his name is Jason Connley, and it's basically the idea is for 30 days you go out and look for rejection. And every day you get rejected as something, and by the end, you desensitize yourself from the pain. And I love that idea. I said, you know what, I'm gonna do this, and I'll film myself getting rejected 100 days. And I'll came up with my own rejection ideas and I'll make a video blog out of it. And so here's what I did. This is what the blog looked like. Um, day one. Borrow a hundred dollars from borrow a hundred dollar from stranger. So this is where I went to where I was working. I uh I came downstairs and saw this big guy sitting behind the desk. You know, he he looked like a security guard. So I just approached him and I was just going, I was just walking, and that was the longest walk in my life. I just haired the back of my neck standing up, I was sweating, my heart was pounding, and I got there and said, Hey um sir, can I borrow $100 from you? And he looked up, he's like, No. Why? And I just said I said, No, I'm sorry. Then I turned around and just ran. I felt so embarrassed. But because I filmed myself, so that night I was watching myself getting rejected, I just saw how scared I was. I looked like this kid in six sense. I saw dead people. But then I saw this guy, he you know, he he wasn't that menacing, he was a chubby, lovable guy, you know. And and and he even asked me why. In fact, he invited me to explain myself. I could have said many things. I could have explained, I could have negotiated, I didn't do any of that. All I did was run. I felt wow, this is like a microcosm of my life. Every time I feel the slightest rejection, I was just run as fast as I could. And you know what? The next day, no matter what happens, I'm not gonna run. I'll stay engaged. Day two, request a burger refill. This is where I finished, uh went to a burger joint and finished lunch, and I went to the cashier and said, Hey, can I get a burger refill? And he was all confused. I was like, What's a burger refill? I said, Well, just like a drink refill, but what's a burger? And he said, Sorry, we don't do burger refill, man. So this is where rejection happened. I I could have run, but I stayed. I said, Well, I love your burger, I love your your joint. And if you guys do burger refill, I will love you guys more. And he said, Well, okay, I'll tell my manager about it. Maybe we'll do it, but sorry, we can't do this today. Then I left. And by the way, I don't think they've ever done burger refill. I think they're still there. Um but the life and death feeling I was feeling the first time was no longer there. Just because I stayed engaged, because I didn't run. I said, wow, great, I'm already learning things. Great. And then day three, getting Olympic donuts. Um this is where my life was turned upside down. I went to a Krispy Kreme, uh, it's a donut shop in mainly in the southeastern part of the United States. Um, I'm sure they have some here too. Um, and I went in and said, Can you make me donuts that look like Olympic symbols? Basically, you interlink five donuts together. I mean, there's no way they could say yes, right? The donut maker took me so seriously. So she put out a paper, started jotting down uh uh the colors and the rings, and it's like, um, how could it make this? And then uh 15 minutes later, she came up with a box that looked like Olympic rings. And I was so touched, and I I just couldn't believe it. And uh that video got over five million views on YouTube. The world couldn't believe that either. And you know, uh because of that, I was on um in newspapers and talk shows and everything, and I became famous. And a lot of people started writing emails to me and and saying what you you are what you're doing is awesome. But you know, fame and notoriety did not do anything to me. What I really want to do was learn and to change myself. So I turned the rest of my 100 days of rejection into this playground, into this research project. I want to learn, see what I can learn. And then I learned a lot of things. I discovered so many secrets. For example, I found if I just don't run, if I got rejected, I could actually turn a no into a yes. And the magic word is why. So one day I went to a stranger's house, had this flower in my hand, and I said, knock on the door, I said, Hey, can I plant this flower in your backyard? And and he said, No. Um, but before he could leave, I said, Hey, can I can I know why? And he said, Well, I have this dog in that would dig up anything I put in the backyard. I don't want to waste your flower. If you don't do this, go across the street and talk to Connie. She loves flowers. So that's what I did. I went across and knocked on Connie's door, and she was so happy to see me. And then half an hour later, there's this flower in Connie's backyard. I'm sure it looks better now. But had I had I left after the initial rejection, I would have thought, well, it's because uh the guy didn't trust me, it's because I was crazy, because I didn't dress up well, I didn't look good. It was none of those. It was because what I offered did not fit what he wanted. And he trusted me enough to offer me a referral using sales term. Um I I converted a referral. Then one day I also learned that I can actually say certain things and maximize my chance to get a yes. So, for example, I one day I went to a Starbucks and asked the manager, hey, can I uh be a Starbucks greeter? He's like, What's a Starbucks greeter? I said, Do you know those Walmart greeters? You know, those those people who say hi to you before you walk in the store and make sure you don't steal stuff, basically. Um I want to give a Walmart experience to Starbucks customers. Well, um well, I'm not sure that's a good thing, actually. Um actually, yeah, pretty sure it's a bad thing. Um and he was like, Oh, oh yeah, this is how he looked. His name is Eric. He's like, I'm not sure. This is how he he was hearing me. Not sure. Then ask him, is that weird? He's like, Yeah, it's really weird, man. But as soon as he said that, his whole demeanor changed. It's as if he's putting all the doubt on the floor. And he said, Yeah, you can do this, and just don't get too weird. So for the next hour, I was the Starbucks greeter. I said hi to every customer that walked in and uh give him holiday cheers. Uh by the way, I don't know what your career trajectory is. Don't be a greeter. It was really boring. Um but then I found I could do this because I mentioned is that weird? I mentioned a doubt that he was having. And because I mentioned is that weird, that means I wasn't weird. That means I was actually thinking just like him, seeing this as a weird thing. And again and again I learned that if I mentioned some doubt people might have before I asked the question, people I gained their trust. People were more likely to say yes to me. And then I learned I could fulfill my life dream by asking. You know, I I came from four generations of teachers. And uh my grandma has always told me, hey, J you can do anything you want, but it'd be great if you become a teacher. But I want to be an entrepreneur, so I didn't. But it has always been my dream to actually teach something. So I said, What if I just ask and teach a college class? So I live in Austin at the time, so I went to the University of Texas in Austin, knocked on professor's doors, and said, Can I teach you a class? Um, I didn't get anywhere the first couple times, but because I didn't run, I I kept doing it, and on the third try, the professor was very impressed. It's like no one has done this before. And I came in prepared with the PowerPoints and my lesson. It's like, well, I can use this. Um, when you come back in two months, I'll fit you in my curriculum. And two months later, I was teaching a class. This is me, you probably can't see this as a bad picture. Um you know, sometimes you get rejected by lighting, you know. Um but well when I finished teaching that class, I walk out of crying because I I thought I could just fulfill my life dream just by simply asking. I thought I used to think I have to accomplish all these things, I have to be a great entrepreneur or or learn, get a PhD to teach, but no, I just asked and I could teach. And in that picture, which you can't see, um I quoted uh Martin Luther King Jr. Why? Because in my research I found the people who really changed the world, who changed the way we live and the way we think, are the people who were met with initial and often violent rejections. People like Martin Luther King Jr., like Mohammed Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, or even Jesus Christ. These people did not let rejection define them. They let their own reaction after rejection define themselves. And they embraced rejection. And we don't have to be those people to learn about rejection. And in my case, rejection was my curse, was my boogeyman. It has bothered me my whole life because I was running away from it. Then I started embracing that. I turned that into the biggest gift in my life. I started, I started teaching people how to turn rejections into opportunities. I used my blog, I use my talk, I used the book I just published, and I I was even I'm even building technology to help people overcome their fear of rejection. When you get rejected in life, when you are facing the next obstacle or next um failure, consider the possibilities. Don't run. If you just embrace them, they might become your gifts as well. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 39:26

What if we embraced our rejection? What if you that are building your church said, you know, I'm gonna knock on those doors. I I know I'm gonna get rejected. I was in Wisconsin last fall on an exploratory mission. Uh possi it's a long story, I'll tell it in another podcast, but exploratory revival in Baraboo, Wisconsin. And I was there with our uh conference vice president, the head of our home mission department, and the God's missionary church, Jeremy Fuller, and he said, you know, he said it's always easier for me to pray for God to help me when I know I've done everything I can and done my part. And he said, I think it would be good for us to go do some cold calling, uh, go knock on doors, invite people to this revival. And it was being held in a conference room in a uh in a motel, and just uh I was so far out of my comfort zone, even just going. But I felt like God wanted me to go. And then when he says about cold calling, something again died inside of me, and you know, as I got dropped off on a street and I was gonna knock on all the doors on that street, I found myself praying that nobody would be home. Uh you know, like Lord, don't let anybody answer the door. Um and as I was walking through that down that first street, I started to realize that you know, the only reason I was praying that nobody would be home is I didn't want to get rejected. Embarrassed. And I started to think about this thought that what if I just embrace the numbers game and knock on as many doors as I can. Because the more that I knock on, yes, the more rejection I'm going to face, but also the more fruit can come of it. It's not one or the other, it's both and the success and the rejection at the same time. Why don't I go and try to get a hundred no's, like this guy in this clip talks about? I've researched uh different companies have done this with their salespeople. They have uh challenged their salespeople to get one hundred no's uh in a week. And they've put out promotions like uh if you get a hundred no's this week, I will you'll get a five hundred dollar bonus. I was listening to the one team leader for a a large company, and he had challenged his team to do this uh multiple times. If you get one hundred no's this week, I will give you a five hundred dollar cash bonus. And he s went on to say that that he's never had anybody achieve it. That it's if you go in with the mindset of getting the nose, not you know, and and it's because you're playing the numbers game, you're talking to more people, you're being ambitious, you're you're not walking with fear and trembling, but you're embracing this idea that that maybe this talent, maybe this burden that I feel, maybe this thing that I can't get out of the back of my head, maybe this thing that I think about at night and lay at the ceiling and wonder, what if? Maybe if I just do it, what will happen? Embrace the rejection. That's what I'm doing with this podcast. I'm embracing the idea that I'm gonna be rejected. Every time I go to hit upload, I realize that I'm putting myself out there. And there's gonna be some people don't like this episode. And a lot of times they're the vocal ones, and a lot of times they're also the ones who aren't doing anything. I'm gonna close this episode with something that I listen to frequently, and this is many of you have heard this, but it's the Man in the Arena, Theodore Roosevelt also did this speech at some point. And I listen to it frequently because it motivates me to push through this idea of rejection and push through the idea of the negativity that people have towards what you're doing, and realize that I'm doing it for a higher power, and I'm not doing it for people. I'm not doing it for the critics. They don't count. Who's not doing it for himself, the guy that's covered in blood and sweat and tears, but he'll die being brave and daring. That's who I want to be.

SPEAKER_00 44:49

The poorest way to face life is to face it with a sneer. There are many men who feel a kind of twisted pride and cynicism. There are many who confine themselves to criticism of the way others do what they themselves dare not even attempt. There is no more unhealthy being, no man less worthy of respect, than he who either really holds or feigns to hold an attitude of sneering disbelief toward all that is great and lofty. Whether in achievement or in that noble effort which, even if it fails, comes to second achievement. It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming. But who does actually strive to do the deeds? Who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

SPEAKER_02 47:11

And I trust that you start to embrace the rejection, and just do what God's asked you to do. Go where he asks you to go, speak to who he asks you to speak to, start that business, take over that bus ministry, knock on those doors, put yourself out there, multiply the talents God has given you. And I believe that if we continue to do that, when it comes time for us to die, we'll hear. Thank you for joining me today on the Boots and Suits podcast. I trust you have a great day. Always look to Jesus. He's the source of our strength. And if we do what we do for him, we won't ever have rejection from him, and we'll have success as he measures success. Have a great day.