Ep54 Chatting with Tina Coleman about Empowering Women 50+

In this episode, I sit down and chat with Tina Coleman about Empowering Women 50+ to Reinvent, Thrive & Live Boldly and how understanding our money is part of that. She is the author of "50 Fabulous and Fuckable" and shares her journey to how she became a voice to help women 50 and over become empowered. 

Her Call to Action: https://beacons.ai/transformbecourageous

This link takes listeners to my main hub where they can connect with me, join my community, and grab free resources for women ready to reinvent themselves at midlife. It also includes information about my upcoming book 50 Fabulous and Fuckable, so they can be the first to know about the release and pre-sale opportunities.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Hey, it's your financial maintenance and commitment CPA. And for the last 30 years, yes, 30 years in the accounting world, I absolutely love sharing my insights and passion about money for individuals, entrepreneurs, and small business owners. Knowing your money and hopefully feeling less stressed about your money is what I call being financially empowered. Welcome to the Your Financial Maven podcast. All right, so welcome to your financial Maven. Today I'm going to do something a little different than what I normally do, which is fine because when you talk about money and you try to understand about money, it isn't always about talking to that financial planner or CPA like myself. It's talking to people out there and their experiences and how it interacts with their daily lives. So today I'm really going to be focusing on women, women 50 and over. It doesn't mean that those that aren't women or under 50 can't listen to this, but myself, turning 52 this November, I think it's important to kind of talk to women and help them with some of those things as we turn 50 and older. My guest today is Tina Coleman. You are a bold voice behind the upcoming book, 50 Fabulous and Fuckable, which I absolutely love. I cannot wait for it to come out. It is a powerful guide that redefines what it means to be a woman at your midlife. Your mission is to empower women approaching 50 and beyond to embrace, reinvent, have freedom, be unapologetic, be confident while you're stepping into your most vibrant, authentic chapter of your life. And I know that you spent two decades as a licensed massage therapist, but your career was cut short by a car accident. And I know we'll get a little bit more into kind of how you came to be and where you are now. But you in, you know, instead of letting that hardship and other hardships define you, you chose to reinvent yourself. And I know that you are international now. You travel all over, you live all over. I think that's fabulous. That's part of your reinvention. So, Tina, welcome to your financial maven.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

Thank you so much. It's such an honor and privilege to be here. I really appreciate it. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

Thank you. I'm very excited to have you here talking about your journey, talking about women 50 and over, how we can be inspired, and really tie it to the financial side of things because I think that is so important. We were talking a little bit before I hit record about the financial piece of life is important or just as important as reinventing the other parts of your life. So before we kind of get into all that, I ask all my guests, what is money?

SPEAKER_01 2:49

Money is an energy. Money is something that is fluid, it moves, and a lot of times it doesn't work very well because we like to try and trap it. Yeah. And so it doesn't really like that.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

Yeah, I love that. That's so, you know, I love that because um I've had several guests on talking about loving your money, understanding your money. And I think that energy around money can be a part of that and that understanding and how it affects us because people have positive and negative aspects in dealing with money, you know, depending on how they grew up. So I'm gonna kind of shift and I want to, you know, my guests to understand kind of how you got to where you are now, how you got to, you know, your book is coming out soon, um, how you you got to writing that book, and kind of tying it back then, you know, you say in your book you do have a financial piece to it. So kind of tying it from your story back into that financial side. So I'd love to hear kind of how you got to where you are now from where you came from.

SPEAKER_01 3:45

Okay, well, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. And it's really interesting to be on here talking about money because I don't come for money. I came from a very poor family. My mother worked two and three jobs, she was a cashier, my grandmother was a dishwasher, and so we had like wildly different ideas on money. My mother liked to spend money she didn't have, had all kinds of credit card debt, high interest. My grandmother saved every penny. Wow. Um, but yeah, she was the one everyone went to for loans. Right. So it was really interesting, the dichotomy that I grew up in, and there was always the fighting and the struggle about money. It was so it was like this terrifying concept. And I actually started working about the age of five, cleaning my neighbor's house for money. Yeah. Yeah. So my house was so chaotic and not really safe. So I spent a lot of time with my elderly neighbor who was an A-Lon lady and cleaned her house. So I started working about the age of five. So, and then I did like lawn mowing, which I'm allergic to grass and I hated it. But I did that because my grandma was like, you need to make money.

SPEAKER_00 4:44

And I'm like, I'm allergic to grass actually when it's cut. So I'm okay sitting in it when it's not, but if it's freshly cut grass, it drives me nuts.

SPEAKER_01 4:54

Yes. And so I was babysitting and mowing yards, and I got a real job at the age of 14.

SPEAKER_00 4:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

So, yeah, so I've been work I was working uh for a very long time in my life. Yeah, I know, I know. So it's like it's interesting to being at this point in my life. Um, so and I'm originally from Des Moines, Iowa. So the good Midwestern values that we have. And interesting enough, I was going to be a CPA. Oh, cool. Oh, I know. I was going to be. I did not end up being one. Um but I was in a house. Nothing wrong with that. I know it's interesting. My my dream job at 17. Um, I graduated uh high school early with a college. My dream job was to work for the IRS to pay taxes. Love it. But now I have a hard time doing my own. So it's it's interesting how that worked out. Yeah, um, you know, it really is. But like I grew up in a house where it's like, oh, you know, rub my shoulders, walk on my back, you know, things like that. So I never thought of being a massage therapist, um, but I actually got into it because I was in a car accident, I was actually hit by a semi.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Oh, ouch. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

Ouch. Yes. I became a spiritual teacher, I was hit by a semi, and so I was very fortunate to walk away from that, but that got me into massage, acupuncture, and chiropractic. And so I apprenticed to become a massage therapist. I love it. And then ironically enough, this last car accident got me out of massage.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

Interesting.

SPEAKER_01 6:18

Interesting. Yeah, it it really is like this full circle. Yeah. Um, so it's really interesting how that happened. And I lost my, I've lost a lot of family members, and that really makes you reevaluate your life. But right before my 40th birthday, I lost my stepdad the day after Thanksgiving and my mother during Memorial Day weekend. And so they were very quick, very, very fast. Yeah, yeah. So things like that make you reevaluate what you want your life to be like and where you want to go in your life. And unfortunately, those uh events hit me really hard. And I I hit like a really bad spiral down, a really, really hard spiral down where I actually had to get sober.

SPEAKER_00 6:59

Okay, okay. Yeah, so yeah, mm-hmm. And listen, sometimes you have to hit rock bottom, and I think that's not just you know, if it's if it's alcohol or drugs or just an obsession, but money too, right? That you can be hitting rock bottom with the financial side of it as well.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

And I've had those experiences too, because I did not grow up in a household that was abundant and really good about money. It was always like, oh, who's gonna pay for that? And you know, shut the door, it's like you're letting all the the heat out, you know, things like that. Um, and we grew up thinking like, oh, money doesn't grow on trees. Right. Ironically, money is made from paper and trees made paper. It is so money action does grow on trees.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

Yeah, it does grow on trees, but I think that right, that concept of it keeps regenerating from trees. Yes, it is very true.

SPEAKER_01 7:46

It really is. And so I have had a very interesting relationship with money myself because um, especially massage therapists, I made good money per session, but not like overall. So it was always I was always stuck in that just enough mentality. Oh yeah, just enough. And that was really hard because I didn't really ever think that there was more until I really started to change those beliefs and mindsets about that. And that actually happened in 2018, where okay, and I wasn't a spiritual teacher for seven years, and so it was very much a poverty con very much a poverty consciousness. Okay, where it's like, oh, and I grew up in the church, I grew up in the Southern Baptist Church. So money was not good, right? Money, like they wanted you you needed to give money to the church, but you shouldn't have money, and so it's like being in a spiritual group, like, oh you need to give us your money, but you really shouldn't have money because we want to keep you poor and kind of dependent on us. And there's that mentality also that I think people get kind of trapped in that you can't be spiritual and wealthy.

unknown 8:51

Right.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

And in 2018, uh a friend of mine took me to a seminar that was about money, and I had a light bulb moment. I was like, oh, if I have more money, I can help more people. And for me, that was just amazing. I never thought of it that way before because I love to help people. I'm a very generous person. And I was like, oh, if I let myself have more money, then I can help others.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

Right, because you have more resources to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_01 9:20

Exactly. And I read the mil uh The Secret of the Millionaire Mind by T Hart Becker, and then I love Jen Sincharo's book, You Are a Badass at Making Money.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:29

I love her book. Um, because she also talks about in that book, you know, you know, writing a love letter to money and understanding money. Um, but also that, you know, it's it's there's so many charities and things that women we want to support. Because with women, yeah, it's like for us, it's having a why for money. Like, why do we want the money? And so she talked about in her book, like, you know, she would be so broke she would not be able to help the charities that she wanted to. And she's like, you do so much more good when you allow yourself to be rich and wealthy, because then you can help others and you can give to the charities you want.

SPEAKER_00 10:05

Yeah, yeah. So it's really yeah, yeah. Because you have that extra, you know, that that resource, that ability. Um, but I think with that too, is just the understanding of still understanding enough about your money so that it doesn't all go out the door and you're still having a life or you're comfortable with what you want. And I think for women in particular, especially those of us who are Gen X, who grew up, you know, the year I was born, they've the year out years after I was born, they finally gave women the ability to have credit cards on their own, right? In 1974. I was born in 73. So the idea that women couldn't even own their own credit card or handle their own money and their own debt. And I think that is something that women, even today, it's hard for us to not have shame around it or always double checking with somebody, not having that empowerment, you know, that that control, that financial freedom, freedom to really feel, you know, the ability to go from being invisible to stepping out on your own. And and I think in your book, you're going to be talking about this. And you talk about the belief that in midlife we can be the most powerful and vibrant stage. So how do you, you know, why do you believe that? How do you kind of get people to believe that, to understand, you know, there is that, right? There's something going around. I don't know if you know the We Do Not Care Club, right? We're perimenopause, menopause, 50s and older, and we do not care. And it's kind of empowering because it's not that you don't care about your finances, but it's we do not care what other people think about us or how we decide to move throughout this world. So which I think is very interesting. But how do you believe that our why are we so more powerful now, you know, than we are when we're younger?

SPEAKER_01 11:55

Well, because we've already made all the mistakes.

unknown 11:57

True.

SPEAKER_01 11:58

You know, we've been through the bad relationships, we've been through like the marriage, the divorce, the kids, you know, and then it's like you've made all those mistakes. It's like you have more to draw upon. Whereas when you're in your 20s, you have no idea. True. You have absolutely no idea. You know, if I knew then what I knew now, I would do things so differently. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:17

You know, um, so then I can say that about my two boys too. They're in their 20s and I love them dearly. And and they say their brains don't mature till they're 25. I I laugh at that because I don't know if they ever mature. But but I think you're right, in your 20s, you're just trying to get started in life, you're living life. You may have some guidance from somebody who's older than you who's been through it, but you don't always listen to them anyway. Like, what do they know? Right.

SPEAKER_01 12:41

Exactly. And it's like, um, you know, it's uh it's such a struggle, you know. And then you go through life, you have the ups and downs, you know, financially, relationships, emotionally, physically sometimes, whatever. And so by the time you get to 50, you've learned something.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

You know, you've learned how to navigate those uh obstacles and overcome them.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

Yeah, very easy.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

You know, and that's you have a lot more resilience, and then also being able to let go of a lot of that baggage that we carry around because you know, we've been screwed up by by people, we've had things not work out, we've had our hearts broken in big ways, you know. So so many things have happened that haven't worked out for us. So being able to let go of all that and just like be like, fuck it. Yeah, you know, some of some of my best decisions have been my fuck it moments, right? You know, where it's like, I'm just gonna do this, right? Throw my hands, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

You know, and it's it's interesting because I think that it's our generation, I think it's our Gen X generation. You know, we bridge that gap between before cable, before internet, before computers, and now it's computers, social media, internet, like it's it's all this stuff. Like my grandmother, she's been gone now. She passed away in 2016, so she's been gone now nine years, but she she passed away uh three weeks shy of 100. So she was 99 when I passed. So she saw a lot of change. And she in her last few years of her life loved like the phones and the videos, like it just mesmerized her. And and she would always say, I never got to meet my grandfather. He passed shortly after I was born, but she would say he would love all this. She still called it sci-fi stuff, right? Because her part it was sci-fi. So I think we sit in this, in this middle, we're in this gap. And I really think that the reason why we're so empowered, and I think it's truly the Gen X women, is because we've been able to recognize the wow, you know, when MTV first started in 1980, and like, right, and then and then everything with Y2K and like living through all that. And and I think that I think on some level is part of the reason why we are just like we're in our 50s and older, it's like we don't care, like fuck it, right?

SPEAKER_01 14:49

Like it's exactly, exactly. And I also I've also heard this as well like our oxytocin levels and our estrogen levels go down as we approach men life, and the oxytocin is what causes you to bond with your child. And so it goes down. So we're just kind of like fuck it, you know, we're gonna say and do what we want to do. And as you've seen like really old people, they will just say the most audacious things and they do not care. They do not care. And it's like, wow, that's amazing. Just like little kids will say the most outrageous things too.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

It is that vibrancy. And I think, you know, from a financial side of things, understanding your money, like, how do you like you say, you know, you have this chapter in your book, and I don't want to give it all away, but what are some of the highlights or the things that as you were working on this book that you found have helped you become more freer in in the sense of making more of your own decisions? You know, I think when you say being free with your money, you're not saying go spend it per se everything. But I think that idea that we have control over it and that we should take ownership and understand our money because without it, we're not gonna be financially empowered.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

You know, so how what are some of the things as you were writing this book that in that area that kind of came across that you're really careful?

SPEAKER_01 16:04

I don't want to give it away. Oh, absolutely, absolutely. And what one of the things is like there is such a scarcity mindset around money. You know, it's like, oh, there's not enough. Like you can only have this much money. And so that was something I really struggled with for the longest time. And because it's like we think, oh, there's only a limited amount of money, and there's not. There isn't it's an unlimited supply. Like they just print more money, like they were printing so much money, you know, digital too, right?

SPEAKER_00 16:31

There isn't just the paper money, the physical currency, it's digital, it's crypto, it's this whole new way of spending and buying things or or saving, and you don't need the physical currency of it.

SPEAKER_01 16:45

Exactly. And I think also for us in our the generation we're in, it's like such a new concept that you know money isn't scarce, it's really abundant, and there is a lot of it out there. There are trillions and trillions of dollars in circulation, and now we have people you know in charge in charge of the major corporations that are like billionaires. And Elon Musk wants to be a trillionaire. So, you know, that just like blows your mind. Um, because it we grew up on this idea that it's scarce and that there's only so much to go around when that is actually not true. It is an abundant resource, and it is a tool for us to use. Just like having a coffee cup is a tool that I use, you know, to have coffee or tea in. Money is also that vehicle that we can utilize.

SPEAKER_00 17:32

Yeah, and I'm curious with that. Was it just told to women that money was scarce to keep women from being able to do the things that we should have always been able to do? Like I'm curious to see if that mindset is because of where women were to where women are now, and like that financial freedom, that ability to own your own property, have your own bank accounts, have your own credit cards, you know. And and again, like I said, I think us as the Gen X women are kind of in that middle of saw what it was, and now we see what it is and like where we want to go.

SPEAKER_01 18:10

Exactly. Well, and it even goes back to the institution of marriage. Yeah, true, you know, because women were we we were property, we were bought and sold to the highest bidder a lot of time, you know, and it was to secure, you know, land deals or a title or you know, climb your way up the social ladder. Like we were really bargaining chubs. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

And I think that's interesting too, because and I've talked about this too and in other things about understanding your money, dating your money. And I think if you're in a relationship, partnership, marriage, you know, whatever that relationship looks like, I think it's important as women that we know if what is being paid bill-wise, right? What money is coming in, what money is going out. Even if you aren't working or you are working, but you kind of let the spouse or the partner handle it, I think it's important for us to have an understanding. Because I think the other thing too is when that spouse or partner or whoever you're, you know, if you're just in with roommates or whatever, but you kind of all share things and you let one handle it, if something happens where you either get divorced or they pass away, you're stuck because you don't know. You don't know how to get into those accounts. And and I think that this too is empowering to let women know that like it's okay to say to your husband or your partner, hey, can we sit down and talk about this? I want to have a general idea.

unknown 19:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

I mean, it's a little opposite in my family because I am the CPA, that like I handle a lot of the bills. I hand, I mean, my husband and I have conversations all the time. He has access to everything. We understand it, but it's it's very unusual, I think, in a lot of households for the woman to be in charge of it. Now, maybe more so now they are, but even so, if you haven't understood the money or where things are, then you're now put in that situation of being in charge. You know, I think being able to empower yourself to pay attention to that is just as important.

SPEAKER_01 20:03

Absolutely. And it's interesting because I come from a completely different background where the women were in charge.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01 20:09

The men were not reliable, they were deadbeat alcoholics, like they were not good people to be in charge of money. So the women were. So I always grew up with this idea of being in charge of my money. Unfortunately, what that also led to in my first long-term relationship is that I end up supporting the other person. Well, there's that too, yes. See, so there's that flip side. There are, you know, whereas, you know, I'm a natural caregiver and I'm generous, and then it's like, oh, well, if you love somebody, that's all you need. Like everything's gonna work out, and it does not. So also being able to protect yourself in those relationships, yeah, where maybe there's your money, our money, and you know, the house money or whatever, so you actually have money set aside for yourself so that you can have that uh independence with it. So you're not having to check with someone every time you need something, you know, because there are stories of women that married incredibly wealthy men, but just because they're wealthy doesn't mean they're generous.

unknown 21:04

Right.

SPEAKER_01 21:04

Very true. And so they ended up in these relationships where they don't have any control of the money or they're what they want.

SPEAKER_00 21:11

Yeah, and I think that's important to, you know, for anybody to just you have to try to have those conversations. And it's not because you want to take all the money and go spend it, it's really to to help you kind of feel confident and in that. So I'm kind of I'm gonna kind of going from that to, you know, success, right? In our 30s and 40s, success, I guess, is viewed as one way and could be viewed differently now that we're 50 and over. So so what are the things that you, you know, how do you compare what we thought of in our 30s and 40s to what success is in our 50s? And on some level, is financially, do you think financially different in your 30s and 40s than you do in your 50s and over when it comes to defining success in that regard? So what are your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Well, I think in our thirties and forties we're really looking for that security and we're thinking, oh, but we have to have the house and we have to be building things and we have to own things and we have to have the tire in the house and you know we have to have the things.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:14

You know, whereas in your 50s, freedom really having your health and having freedom is way more important because it's like we tend we're realizing that we don't need so many things. Right. You know, their actions are more expensive than they are helpful, you know. Um, because they're liabilities.

SPEAKER_00 22:33

Could be.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

And it's really interesting. And I have people would say I've downgraded my life, but I don't feel that way because I live internationally. I don't own a car.

unknown 22:42

Right.

SPEAKER_00 22:42

Nothing like that.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

I don't own a house anymore. Um, but that gives me this a sense of freedom that I can walk places, I can take the metro, I can take a cab, and it's so much less expensive than owning a car. Right.

SPEAKER_00 22:54

So it's the mind, it's really the mindset. Our mindset, you know, like you said, we're growing and building in our 30s and 40s, and our success is going to look different than it is as we get older. And I think people, you know, when you talk about wealth, a lot of people immediately go to how much money do you have? How much money do you have? But wealth can also be what is in your life and what is around you. And that success is what is around you. And and for me, you know, it's my family, it's my friends, it's, you know, being able to, I've been on my own now working for myself for 12 years. So I'm solopreneur on my own. I have no staff. It's all, you know, it's me, myself, and I. And there's been some ups and downs. And some of it was because of the flexibility of when I had small kids. But I feel like that's my wealth, that's my success because I have control over what I think is important in my life. And I try not to allow people to tell me, you know, like I grew up elementary, middle school for me, I was teased relentlessly. And I think that's where some of this, yeah, that's where some of this comes from is that I have control. It took me a long time to say, you know what, I don't care what other people think of me. I still feel that way, Kate. You know, I still get that hinge, whatever. But I'm at that point, and I think I even started somewhere in my 40s, just because I just started to think about that. That why should I let somebody else's view of me stop me from being empowered and successful if it's I'm comfortable with what I'm doing? And and I think that's on some level what you're trying to say here with with your coaching and and the book and and all that.

SPEAKER_01 24:30

Exactly. And it's really interesting because I always felt bad about myself because I came from a poor family. I had a very chaotic childhood. Like I never felt like good enough or as good as other people. And what I've realized, especially getting older and being in contact with more people, it's like our stories are more similar than they are different. I agree. You know, and just because you have this experience, it does it does not make you any less of a person than anyone else. Right. You know, because you don't know what the other person has gone through. Because people can look perfect on the outside. Oh, yeah. You have no idea what what what they're going through, what's happened. So it's like having more compassion for yourself also for everything that you have gone through. Because you know, if you've made it to 50, congrats to fucking lace. Yeah. You know, I mean, a lot of people don't get to this point.

SPEAKER_00 25:17

They don't. And and and I had a girlfriend who passed away from breast cancer at age 40. And she has been gone, I think it's been eight years now. So I miss her. You know, we were a group of women that supported her. And I think that's what's important also, not just from the financial side of things, but I think women have to stop judging and tearing other women down because you know, it it doesn't, no matter the financial decisions. I mean, I've got girlfriends who some are very wealthy financially, some are, you know, they're able to do a lot more than I can do. Go travel, go do this and that. And then I have other girlfriends who don't make as much, or you know, their family struggles a little bit more than I do, but I never judge them for that. They're my friends. We do what we can do, we can go out, you know, and I think we need to also not tear women down from that aspect too.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

Exactly. And that's the great thing about getting in your 50s, is that there's less of that going on. Yeah. You know, it's like we're because we're going through like paramenopause and menopause, and we're like, oh my gosh, did you experience this or how what do I do with this? Or so there's more of a community, and it's it's growing these days where we're actually supporting each other instead of tearing each other down.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

We're talking about it more. And I think that's we grew up, nobody talked about that. Nobody talked about money, nobody taught you this or that about money, nobody talked to you about your body changing as women, the things as women, nobody talked about that. And I think that is something that has definitely changed, at least in the last five years, if not last couple of decades, of talking about what we're going through as women, but you know, both physically, mentally, and financially. Because I think that is important too, because you might have a friend that, yeah, might you have a girlfriend that has money that they can go do whatever they want, but you don't know their struggles. You don't know how they got there, you don't know that they've set, yeah, I've got all this money, but but a lot of it I save and put away because I've got kids to get through college or or I wanna I have a goal to do this. And the other, I kind of set myself aside something else to do. And and you kind of gravitate towards those people that, you know, they don't brag about their money, they don't, you know, and and they or they don't share that they're they're struggling. We we can talk about that without breaking each other down. I think that's important too. Exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:31

Exactly. Absolutely, being able to share those stories, you know, and also um having the idea of incrementally upgrading your lifestyle. Yeah. You know, it's not always about buying the Mercedes or going on, you know, the really lavish, really lavish uh vacations and things like that. Maybe it's buying uh the bath oil that you want or the chocolate that you want. Because you have to be able to say yes to the little things in life. Yeah. You have to do that. And you have to be able to and you actually have to like build that up so then you can say yes to the bigger things in life.

SPEAKER_00 28:04

And remember, depending on the stage in life, like we have a kid still in college, and so right now, yeah, I want to go do XYZ, I want to do all this stuff, but right now we got to focus on getting him through school. Getting them, get the financial through school. We got about a year and a half, two years. I don't even know what we have left because I think he's gonna do masters, although I told him he's always known for that. So that'll be interesting. Right. Uh I think he heard it and it went out the other side.

unknown 28:26

Uh-right.

SPEAKER_00 28:27

But but it is it is also having to give ourselves grace and respect of where are we, even in our stages, if we're 50 and over or we're under 50, where are we? And not as I've always compare yourself to the person next to you. Exactly. And and you know, my husband and I, when we first started out and we bought our house, we made the decision we didn't want to be house poor. We didn't want to tie ourselves to the house. So, yes, our starter home, we've still been in it almost 30 years. It provides shelter, we own it. You know, yes, I would love sometimes to have extra rooms downstairs and and all then, of course, I think oh, having to clean that and take care of that's a lot. You know, we you know, but it is it's one of those things where we are where we are in our life because we made certain decisions because that was what's right for us. Like learning a lot about I am where I am, I'm doing the things I'm doing because that's what I'm meant to do. And and lifting women up that way too, and respecting their decisions.

SPEAKER_01 29:27

Exactly. And it's like I think it's so wonderful that if your kid is so lucky that you're helping them with the college tuition and all that, that is amazing.

SPEAKER_00 29:38

Yeah, we made the decisions with both boys. Now they still have student loans, like they they still have skin in the game. Um made the decision that financially we're gonna help them get through their first four years of school because we wanted them to focus on their education, and because that was the choice that they made. They wanted them to go to college.

SPEAKER_01 29:55

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 29:56

And that is, you know, yes, thank you. That is kind of how we decided.

SPEAKER_01 30:00

Yes, now that's wonderful. So instead of like going, you know, to Italy for like a couple of weeks or a month, maybe then you and your husband just do like a little getaway, yeah, you know, which is so important to do that. So it's it's not like you're not letting your dreams live at all, they're just looking different right now because you are having you have a timeline for what you want in your life. And I think that's really important, you know. But it's like I do really believe if women want to travel or do those things, you can find a way to do it. Like women are we are resourceful.

SPEAKER_00 30:28

I think so.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

You know, and if there is something we want to do, we will figure out a way to do it. Because it's like you might have credit card miles or someone in your family might have credit card miles that you can use to find someplace, you know, and you can do those getaways for things, you know, on a that fit into your lifestyle instead of feeling like, oh, well, I can't have it until my son graduates. Like, I can't do anything until my son graduates. Like, no, you find ways to work your dreams into where you're at right now. Yeah. And then having the bigger goals, I think is really important.

SPEAKER_00 30:58

Yeah, I agree. I and I think it can, you know, like I said, as I talk about kind of if you know your money that's coming in and the money that's going out and what you can put away for savings, I think you can do these things and embrace that as women and have those goals. And I think if you have that financial side understood, that helps with less stress and helps you be more empowered and inspired to go and do more. And I think that's where a lot of women in our age group really need to understand and say, okay, don't make it all about the money, make it about you.

SPEAKER_01 31:32

Exactly. And give yourself those moments of pleasure and experiencing because we we are set so in the masculine mind set, you know, in the Western world to work and do this and do the grind and just go, go, go, go, go, that we really forget about the divine feminine experience because we are women. Yeah, you know, like we have to take care of ourselves and we have to learn how to fill our own cup rather than relying on someone else to fill that for us. Absolutely. Because when we do that, we have more to give in the long run. You know, it's like you should not feel guilty about going and taking a bubble bath or taking time to read or taking that time out for yourself because it's like when your kids were younger, like you didn't have that, that you didn't have those letters.

SPEAKER_00 32:12

I I don't have the the option of taking bubble baths right now anyway, because that's the kids' bathroom. But like when they were both away at college for a year, I made my husband scrub it like four times, and then I had like my bubble baths, but then now my my older son's back home, and so it's a little like I gotta wait till he's out. But um, but yes, those those things. Um, is there anything else um, you know, that we can expect that you you think is important to know about your book, things that are coming out, so that people understand kind of more about how you go about empowering women?

SPEAKER_01 32:43

Yes. Well, the book covers a lot because I have actually radically changed my life in a very short amount of time. I got sober, lost 90 pounds, uh, lived internationally, I've lived on passive income for five years. Okay. So I've done all that. And so it's like I want to let women know that if I can do it, you can do it. It might look different than how I did it, but you can still do it. But we have to let our dreams breathe, our desires breathe. Because so many times people like, oh, I want to travel, oh, but I can't because I can't afford it, or oh, the kids, or whatever. Like, we immediately just shut down instead of letting those dreams and desires breathe and see how that can happen, or being open to different possibilities. Because when you're in um a lack or scarcity mindset, everything kind of just shuts down. Yeah, you don't see the opportunities are literally right in front of you. Very true. But when you give yourself that space and that ability to dream and to breathe and to see what is possible, then you're able to step into those higher versions of yourself, like doing the incremental changes in your life and upgrading your life little by little. It's not like, oh, I'm gonna live this great big lifestyle when I get rich. Right. It's treating yourself rich now and allowing yourself to have those experiences now, like being able to go to the fancy restaurant. Maybe you can't afford like a $200 dinner right now, but maybe you could go and afford to have like a coffee and a dessert and still enjoy that ambiance. Being able to have those experiences because that's what's going to help you step into that higher version of yourself, that version of yourself that's gonna take those risks, it's gonna be okay with being uncomfortable. Because a lot of things I've done have not been comfortable. I'm sure they have everybody has told me I'm crazy, like, oh, you're moving to Mexico, like, oh my gosh, aren't you scared? You know, and I'm currently in Colombia, it's like, oh my goodness, aren't you scared? Even when I went to Italy for the first time, oh, you're so brave, aren't you scared? You're going by yourself. It's not possible that. Like you have to be willing to do things differently. You have to be willing to be uncomfortable a little bit. You know, I'm not saying be reckless or you know, make just bad decisions, but being able to align your vision and goals for yourself and your dreams for your life with where you're going and who you want to be, and that's gonna help you step into that version of yourself that you want to be and have it life that you want.

SPEAKER_00 35:01

I I agree. Yeah, I just I uh last fall I broke my foot, and so I spent about nine weeks in a boot and then up to five months of recovery because of where I broke it and just everything I had to do. But my sister who did this uh trail hiking event, she did 21 miles of it in the spring of 25. And I was like, oh, they have a seven-miler. I could do that, and I trained, and in fact, at the end of September, and my sister did this one with me because she she didn't want me to, I guess she was my support. Um, but a lot of it was for me. But and we did, we did the seven miles. I have to say, it was a true, you know, trail hiking, up and down, you know, paths with rocks and trees. And I had trained for it, not to that level. So it was a little bit rougher than I expected, but it was fabulous. And I did it. We did it in about three hours, and then I couldn't believe people were still doing two, three, or four more loops to get up to 28 miles or or whatever. But that training, as I was training for it and walking and hiking, and a lot of times doing it by myself. And I had some, I have anxiety, you know, there's fear there of like who's gonna come out of the bushes or is there gonna be a bear or an animal on the tree? Like it's just, I know some of it's unfounded. Right, right. But I really felt like for me, that was a goal. That was even an incremental of like that empowering, you know, things that that, you know, and I and I will say, and as I mentioned it before, my girlfriend, Dawn, who passed away from breast cancer, you know, when she was diagnosed and a group of us got together and we did the Susan G. Comen three-day 60-mile walk, and we supported her through everything, all of her treatments and everything, up until she passed, like that was life-changing for me as well. And I was, let's see, I'm 52 now. That was nine years. So I was like in my mid-40s at that point, you know, 43, 44 at that time. And it was just, I think that was the start of my journey of being aware of, you know, not giving a fuck about things and not caring what other people thought. And of course, it's it's still a process, but also as in that too, my business, like I said, I've been on my own for about 12 years. That was still the beginning of my business, those first three years. And so that kind of change and the scaring, you know, being scared financially of like, okay, yes, my husband has a job, but like, can I contribute? Right? What can I give? And I think women need to take those incremental steps and look around and see what is something that's life-changing to help you both financially and also spiritually, mentally, physically, like all that stuff.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

Exactly. Well, what really got me to traveling, like I hadn't been on a plane until I was 30. I didn't start traveling internationally until I was 45. And it was because I found a journal from my 20s that I wanted to go to Italy, Greece, and Egypt. Those were my big three. And my mother had only flown on a plane once, my grandmother had never flown on a plane. And after my parents passed, um, I was going to be turning 45 that year. Uh, because I I lost me when I was almost 40. And then five years later, I was like, if I don't do this now, when am I gonna do it? Because we have all the excuses. I don't have enough time, I don't have enough money.

SPEAKER_00 38:11

Uh the kids are too, right? I mean, I don't like to fly unless I really have to. And I hadn't flown for 11 years, and in my mother will be 82. So two years ago, I got on a plane by myself in the middle of January to fly down to Florida to surprise her for her 80th. Oh, oh, I love that. And she was really surprised, actually. She was like, She's like, You got on a plane by yourself, right? Those are things as women, I think it's hard, right? And I think that comes with our age too, the anxiety and the unknown. But I agree with you taking that leap sometimes. Um, I've only been on a plane one more time since then, but right now I'm not flying because with everything going on, I'm not flying right now, but that's just yeah, I'll find other ways to go.

SPEAKER_01 39:02

Exactly, exactly. Like she would have been more, she would have understood it more if you would have driven down to see her rather than flying down.

SPEAKER_00 39:07

Yeah, and I have we've done that. I mean, my husband and I went down in June to dog sit for them while they went off to Portugal. And we drove that because we brought our I don't want to deal with the flying, like and I've taken the train. I will I love the train. If anybody wants to travel, and even throughout the United States, Canada, take the train. There's fabulous ways to go travel, like you said, without that expense. Or I mean that can be a little expensive, but you know, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 39:34

Well, you'll you'll love Europe. Europe is all about the trains. It is. I do love Europe. I get I get horrible travel anxiety. I get so anxious about traveling, and it's funny because I travel quite a bit. Like I am okay once I'm on the plane, but getting packing, getting to the airport, going through security, getting to the gate, I am not okay until I'm on the plane. Yeah. You know, and I'm like, I don't like the act of traveling, but I love going to different countries and having the experiences because it's like if I don't do it now, when am I going to do it?

SPEAKER_00 40:02

And I think that's that is, yeah, that is the whole point, I think, of what you've been trying to say today, and like talking about, you know, not just from just being a woman over their 50s, but also the financial side of things. Is there anything else, any last-minute, you know, insights or anything you'd love to share with my listeners?

SPEAKER_01 40:19

That if there is a dream, a desire in your heart, you're meant to do it. It was given to you for a reason. It is something that you can do, and you just have to have faith that it's meant for you because you can accomplish and do whatever you want. 50 is like you could, it's like the second half. Yeah. It's like the magical part of your life where you don't give a fuck and you can do whatever you want. You don't have to ask for permission. You don't have to be like, oh, can I do this? Like, you can do it. Like, go go do it, go live your life, enjoy your life, and be the best version of you that you want to be.

SPEAKER_00 40:50

I love that. I love it. So, where can people find you?

SPEAKER_01 40:54

So I have uh I'm on Instagram and TikTok as Transform Be Courageous. And then also my hub is beacons.ai backslash transform be courageous. Okay, and I'll have all that in the podcast notes.

SPEAKER_00 41:08

Exactly. I'm gonna have all that, yes.

SPEAKER_01 41:11

Exactly. And I am coming out with more courses and things like that, so those will be available. And the book is on pre-sale right now, but it will be available uh December 30th is when we're when I'm launching it. So it's like doing all the tech stuff is super fun. Yes. Uh all the good stuff. Exactly. So, but yeah, stay tuned because I'm looking at doing some other things. I'm thinking of doing a money challenge for people later this year.

SPEAKER_00 41:35

I love that.

SPEAKER_01 41:36

Just because it's something that, you know, I've taken a I've educated myself a lot with different uh groups and courses and things like that, and just kind of tying it all together and giving people different tools and the resources to utilize to kind of get through those blocks and fears and doubts that we have so that you really can live the life that you want to live.

SPEAKER_00 41:54

I love it. Tina, this has been fabulous. Um, I love this. Uh, and I'll have all your information about your book and your stuff in the podcast notes. Thank you so much for joining me here on your financial Maven.

SPEAKER_01 42:05

Thank you so much. I really appreciate being here.

SPEAKER_00 42:14

Follow, like, and subscribe to your Financial Maven wherever you listen to your podcasts. And make sure that you leave your money stories or questions for me at www.yourfinancialmavenpodcast.com. I cannot wait to hear what you have to say about money. The purpose of this podcast is to provide general information on the subjects discussed. It is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. It is not meant to resolve your specific financial needs or situations. Please consult with your CPA, tax, or financial professionals. Your financial Maven is hosted and produced by Samantha M. Bestnaff CPA and your financial Maven LLC. Editing is done by Chris Darnock of KM Zen Creative. Music is written, composed, and performed by Daniel Shore.