Hey there ladies. Welcome to Second Act Wow, where we chat about all things midlife and beyond. We hope this podcast will be the perfect marriage of info and fun, wisdom and wit. Each week we'll take a deep dive into topics related to life in the second act, things like relationships, work, our hobbies, and health. We're so glad you're here. Thanks for joining us on this journey. Get ready to embrace midlife with confidence, laughter, and a whole lot of wow. Now here's your host, Leslie Wilson. Hi there, ladies. I'm so glad that you joined us for today's episode. Today we're going to look at an acrostic for Second Act Wow, Second Act Wow, S A W, and see specifically how significance, adventure, and wisdom can shape our lives well into midlife and beyond. I will tell more about this in an upcoming episode, but at age 39 years, 11 months, so one month shy of my 40th birthday, I had a stroke. Now, if the average life expectancy for a woman in the U. S. these days is about 80 and a half years, I had reached only the midpoint of my life when I had a health condition so serious that I could have died. An experience like that will get your attention. Um, and it certainly got mine, uh, but it, but it got my attention in a very good way. After that, really each birthday, each passing year feels like a joy, sort of like I'm living on borrowed time and I want to make the most of it. And another great plus to this is I never mind telling people my age. As I mentioned in episode one, I'm 61 turned 61 in February. But the interesting thing was that once I hit 40, a month later, the more I wanted to push back the concept of midlife. And that's because I just didn't feel old. And maybe you're the same way. It's, it's like, you know, you still have more to contribute. You know, you still have more to accomplish. And ladies, that is exactly how and why Second Act Wow was born. So do you feel the same way? Do you feel like you, um, still want to learn things, that there are specific things out there, subjects, topics, languages, whatever that you'd still like to learn? Do you get frustrated or impatient with people who kind of had the mindset that it's about time for you to be put out to pasture, as my grandmother used to say? Do you want to remind people half or maybe even a third of your age that you still know some stuff? Well, if you do, you are in good company. That is what Second Act WOW is all about. We want to nurture and equip you for a fabulous second half of life. Today, we're going to look at three components of a person's second act and discuss the relevance and importance of each. So let's start with the S in SAW, Significance. So Second Act Significance. What is that? Well, the dictionary definition of significance, I know, ah, boring, but it does help to kind of start there as a frame of reference. It means to have special meaning, importance, deserving of attention. And the truth is anyone of any age can struggle with significance. Do you feel significant? Does your life have special meaning or importance? Do you feel worthy? Do you matter? Does what you do matter? Are you influencing the world in a positive way? Conversely, do you let your mind play tricks on you? Do you give credence to the negative thoughts that creep in? Or do you do what scripture commands us in 2 Corinthians 10 5, the second half of that verse, which says, take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. Note what the verse says here. Every thought. That's a pretty tall order. That's, that's not a few. It's not most, it's every. All of them. Every single thing you think about. But let's not leave out the second half of the verse, which is, Make it obedient to Christ. Now what exactly does that mean? Well, make it every thought obedient to Christ. Well, when we as believers are obedient to Christ, we do what he commands us in his word. We align our lives, our beliefs, our behaviors with God's will for us. So, to make every thought obedient to Christ means to actively examine every thought, specifically. Why did I even think that? And then, we align our thoughts with God's will. By extension and logic, this means we need to reject thoughts that contradict his teachings. And instead, we should choose to think and act in accordance with his word and values. So, I encourage you to not let negative thoughts win. Which they will, if you approach this passively. But if you've put in the work. The critical, hard thought work. You can make headway. So don't let your thoughts rule your life. Don't let them, you know, determine each day that comes. Certainly don't let them derail you. That's, oh, ladies, I can't stress this enough. Because after all, you determine what you do with your thoughts, not the other way around. Thought work is grounded in both components of this biblical teaching. Take every thought captive, make it obedient to Christ. Why does scripture even command this? Because our thoughts are powerful, but with God's help, we can master them. That's what make them obedient to Christ means. As I mentioned, the world of psychology, counseling, and life coaching call this the thought model, and the basic application to life is this. Your thoughts produce your feelings. Your feelings generate actions and behaviors. Your actions and behaviors cause your results. So, think of it this way, especially continuing on with the biblical model. Thoughts beget feelings. Feelings beget actions. Actions beget habits. Habits beget results. Now, let's look at an example of that with respect to second act significance. Let's say a person reaches age 40 and has a midlife crisis. Not one where you're, you know, the typical, cliche, you're driving a sports car or, she gets plastic surgery. But one Where you question the contributions that you've made to the world. One where you look at the scope, the span of your life's work, and you wonder whether it's been worth it. Why are you here? Would anyone even miss you if you were gone? What significance do you have? Are you just taking space on the planet? Or are you leaving your mark on your corner of the world? What is significance? And why is it so, well, significant? If you've ever had thoughts like this, you are in good company here. Most people take a deep dive into examining their life's purpose and value sometime between ages 30 and 50. It's just kind of like time for a check in. We just want to know if what we're doing really matters. Does it positively influence those around us? Our spouses, our families, our friends, our co workers, our city and beyond. And then, if we determine that it does not, we can wonder, what can we change about our lives? We seek that which will help us find greater significance and have a greater impact on the world around us. I think the most valuable message I can communicate today is this. It's never too late. Let's repeat that. It's never too late. My friend Allison started a tradition with each of her grandchildren. Over the course of a year, she reads through the Bible, a new Bible that she's purchased for a grandchild. As she reads, she underlines passages that have meaning to her. She drops notes in the margins. She might even cross reference items of interest. The next year, she makes a gift of that Bible to the oldest grandchild on their birthday. Isn't that beautiful? And then the next year, she does the same thing, and will gift that to the next oldest grandchild, and so on. I don't remember how many grandchildren she's up to, but it's quite a few. Poignant, beautiful, special exercise. Imagine the impact that that could have on that child's life. It could even impact future generations. Talk about significance. Another friend, Rebecca, felt the Lord nudging her to help victims of human trafficking. She knew there were hundreds of thousands of young women, in particular, but also men, being abducted and trafficked. She's located in Dallas Fort Worth area, which has thousands of abductions annually. Rebecca prayed about providing them with a safe harbor, a place they could call home while they went through counseling or maybe detoxed off of drugs their captors forced them to take against their will. And in her program, these young ladies learned interviewing, job, and life skills to be able to make a future for themselves. And amazingly enough, Rebecca didn't even start this important work until she was nearly 50. I have an editing client, Anastasia, who is 78 years old. 78! I mean, that's a lot of this. She finished a book proposal and sent it to me to take a look at it. I helped her with her sample chapters. And then she sent it off to a literary agent. For evaluation and possible representation, she's still seeking that, but her story is just remarkable, and she's written a powerful book about how important it is for women to keep seeking adventure in their lives. I don't know about you, but I want to read that book. I want to live that book. Once you enter your second act, you realize how important it is to impact the relationships around you and create a legacy that lives beyond your life. So ladies, what do you believe about yourself? As you can probably tell, a lot of what occurs in life's second act revolves around your belief system. And so the thought model directly impacts what you do with feelings and beliefs. So, how do you believe God's gifted you? Why has he created you? What has he created you uniquely to do? And what can you do to impact the world around you? Don't swim passively downstream with the rest of the fish. I invite you to find your second act significance. Now number two. The A, second act adventure. This puts beliefs in action. It gives hands and feet to your thoughts and desires about the future, and it encompasses all the fun things like traveling, keeping your grandchildren for a week or more, including hosting grandma camp with lots of fun activities. I'm so looking forward to that one. Getting together with girlfriends regularly, continuing to date your spouse on a regular basis. But second act adventure is so much more than that. It's more than incorporating a few activities for activity's sake. You're probably familiar with the idea of a bucket list or a life list. You know the kind. You write down goals, activities, dreams that you have yet to accomplish. What do you still hope to do? Where do you still hope to travel? Would you ever go back to school? Do you want to learn another language? Would you like to try your hand at a side hustle? How can you positively impact the next generation? Put those items on your life list. But to really achieve adventure, you have to take it a step further. There's an opening of the TV show Friends, I will reference Friends a lot, where Joey and Chandler talk about climbing Mount Everest. When Phoebe enters the scene and catches up on the conversation, she quickly stifles their enthusiasm by reminding the guys that climbing Mount Everest costs thousands of dollars. You have to buy plane tickets, hire a guide, purchase equipment, and so on. Phoebe then states the blunt fact that a lot of people never finish their quest, and some don't even make it out alive. Will Joey and Chandler quickly dial back their grandiose plans and instead agree to watch a documentary about climbing Mount Everest? I think too many of us watch the documentary about climbing our Mount Everest instead of actually doing it. Think about that for a moment. What is your Mount Everest? What are you longing to try? Where are you itching to go? Would it be fun to do this with someone else? Like your spouse? A good friend? Or perhaps a group of friends? I have a good friend. Her name is Julia Bryant. And she's one of the Second Act WOW Facebook group admins. She was the president of the Chamber of Commerce of a North Dallas area suburb for over a decade. She and her husband, Kerry, turned a love of traveling and camping in their RV into a career. They now travel six months out of the year for a company called Good Sam, assessing campsites and meeting with owners to help them brainstorm ways to improve their camper's experience. A couple of years after our youngest left for college, my husband and I channeled our gift of hospitality into being short term rental hosts. Airbnb, Vrbo. We have a lovely four bedroom cabin on world famous for bass fishing Lake Fork, and we enjoy hosting fishermen or families or both. A friend of mine named Karen loved to garden so much that she took a part time job at a local florist. That led to starting her own floral design company where she designs and installs many weddings and events each year. And when they designed their forever home recently, she and her husband added a floral design studio just off of their kitchen. She now has a professional space to work, create, and enjoy being with like minded people who like to play with flowers as much as she does. I could go on and on with examples of people who decided to make a change in the second half of life. Maybe they parlay a hobby into a career. Or they made a travel list and began checking off U. S. cities or countries abroad that they wanted to visit. Maybe they take up a new sport, like pickleball, or tennis, or hiking. They build on a passion for art and paint, or sculpting, or writing. They build on their past successes and their accumulated knowledge from years of working outside the home or inside the home, and they leverage it to start a business. Life can be full of adventure. When you're in your second act, you innately sense that you no longer have abundant amounts of time to accomplish the things on that life list. That lights a fire under people. I know it lit a fire under me. To begin or continue seeking adventure. So let me ask you, what are some things you'd like to do? Many people in their second half of life find themselves with a more flexible schedule or more resources available to them. This gives them the freedom to try things like going on a cruise around the world, or selling their house and staying only at Airbnb properties for a year. Can you imagine how fun it would be to explore new places all the time and meet new people? I realize I just gave you introverts the most cringy thought of the day, but some of us would really be into that. So what does Second Act Adventure look like to you? Alright ladies, we have discussed Second Act Significance, Second Act Adventure. Let's move on to Second Act Wisdom, the W in our SAW. Alright, most of us knew more at 14 than we did at 4. I hope the same is true when you were 24, 34, 44, so on. Life's experience is good and bad. Teach us a lot about how to live. What is worth pursuing and what is not worth pursuing. In addition to the wisdom and experience gained from the School of Hard Knocks, we also gain wisdom from reading, studying, researching, attending lectures. Watching webinars, going back to school, watching documentaries, reading blogs, and myriad other methods. And in truth, we can learn a lot just by going to dinner with a group of people, and not forcing the issue to constantly be the center of attention. That's not always easy for me to do, but I find it valuable when I do. Because when we sit back, listen, and ask questions, we learn far more than we ever will if we are always the ones talking. How do we tap into and implement Second Act wisdom? Well, I'm so glad you asked. First, to me, the critical element here is to get someplace quiet and think about what you've learned through the years. The truth is, most of us probably learned more from our mistakes. Then we did from our successes. Sometimes the knowing what not to do is better and more important than having your whole life planned out at age 20. Second, there's always someone younger, someone behind us in their journey who needs mentoring. So how can you impact the next generation? How can you give back and pass on to others what you've learned? So, in no particular order, please allow me to share some of the wisdom I've gleaned through the years. These are not original thoughts to me. In fact, they're mostly things other people have said and done that I've observed. Or things I've learned the hard way. Just a few random thoughts of wisdom. If you're married, never make a decision unilaterally. That simply means if you are presented with an opportunity, like moving or taking a new job, discuss that in detail with your spouse. And if you are not both in agreement, you probably shouldn't do it. If you move forward without agreement, the spouse who didn't want to make that change will likely experience great disappointment, unhappiness, and resentment. That spouse will likely have difficulty trusting the other spouse again for a long time. And it may create more serious issues than that, perhaps leading to isolation, separation, or even divorce. When faced with a choice in the matter, Always assume the best about someone instead of the worst. Don't our paranoid minds tend to leap to the worst, which is usually wrong and almost always leads to worse problems. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Or better yet, clarify, ask them what they mean. Another great tidbit, if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. This advice, I don't know that he coined it, but it's often repeated by popular radio show talk host, Dave Ramsey, implies that you should find a job you enjoy doing something that intersects your passion and your skills. And you should do that. You will enjoy your work so much more that you may never want to retire. What could that be for your life? Start those wheels turning and just imagine. For me, it's teaching. It's writing, speaking, and, God willing, now podcasting. And when I really get going, I never want to stop. My creativity starts flowing, and I feel like a main character from Chariots of Fire. You'll probably remember, if you're, you know, 50 and up, that film, Chariots of Fire, Eric Little, The blond Scottish missionary and gifted runner is being reprimanded pretty seriously by his sister for neglecting his responsibilities before God as he devotes more and more focus toward competitive running. Little responds to the challenge with this, I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run, I feel his pleasure. All right, even with my, um, half baked Scottish accent. It's still a beautiful thought. When you do, fill in the blank. Do you feel his pleasure? And if you do, then do that thing. Discover what you love, and do that. Another good piece of advice. Walk your own path. Don't try to imitate someone else. You can Watch what they've done and you can learn from what they've done, but chart your own course. It will be so much better, so much more fulfilling, so much more significant. Another good one. Take care of your health from the time you're young. Oh, the principles are so basic. They're like falling off a log. Eat in moderation, move, get plenty of sleep, and manage stress. We know those principles. It's implementing them that can be hard, and this is something we will talk about a lot on Second Act WOW, taking care of your health. Alright, another good nugget. Instead of worrying about things you can't control, shift your mind to what you can create. Tapping into creativity inspires and encourages people at any age, and this leads to another. Great piece of advice. Never stop learning. Are you jealous of someone who puts in the time to learn Spanish? I met a lady at a lunch the other day who speaks eight languages. That is truly remarkable. So what's stopping you? Is there a particular skill that you'd like to acquire? Well, have you ever heard of a little thing called YouTube? These days, you can literally learn anything from watching videos on YouTube. All right, let's recap this fun little. random tidbits. If you're married, never make a major decision unilaterally. When faced with a choice in the matter, always assume the best about someone instead of the worst. If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. Walk your own path, don't just copy someone else. Take care of your health, starting now. Instead of worrying about things you can't control, shift your mind to what you can create. And never stop learning. Which of these resonates with you? And maybe you could add a few of your own. Sit quietly, outside if possible, and think about this. What sparks? Just make sure you're pursuing wisdom as you journey in your second act. A friend of mine named Barbara, who's in her 80s, said she hopes she hits the grave going 90 miles an hour. And she probably will. What a wonderful example and challenge to us all. Now, what will you do with this information? If you are over age 40, or any age for that matter, are you willing to take this challenge? If you are, I invite you to discover your own second act significance, your impact on your corner of the world, your second act adventure. Pursue all things fun and purposeful. And second act wisdom. Never stop learning from life. Past, present, and future. Now go make your second act wow.