S2 Episode 19 Mothers in Ministry

S2 Episode 19 Mothers in Ministry. In this episode Ashley joins Leon in discussing the topic of being a mother while serving in ministry. The challenges and the joys, and even some advice! 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:10

Hello and welcome to the Unqualified Podcast with Leon Wilson. That's me. Thank you for stopping by. And on this Mother's Day, I have just uh we had an incredible um service this morning at church, and it was um just mothers being celebrated, women being celebrated, and uh the ladies who came, uh every every single one of them left with a um a flower, and there was a uh generous couple that just donated flowers and and they had cards from the the kids and everything in our children's church, and it was just awesome. Um today in the studio I have my lovely wife, hey Ashley.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Hey y'all.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

So she's joined us today, and and you know, just having a conversation about um about ministry and about mothers in ministry and trying to mother in ministry, and um just you know, we don't have any any like preloaded questions or anything like that. I know that uh sometimes that's that's like a common thing, is you know, hey, this is the con the question that's gonna get us started. But um, I just wanted to have a conversation with you, baby, and and just um talk about ministry. And so I I guess um first things first is uh you know it is do you think there's a difference in um the household when the parents are in ministry? Do you do you think like that's a uh or what kind of differences have you noticed where, you know, like because when like I started preaching and and interim pastoring and and things like that, do you feel like there is something had to change or that it it added some type of depth or volume or anything like that? Did it make things more difficult? Did it uh did you feel like man, this is a whole nother or or has it just been seamless? Do you feel like it's just been it's just been chill?

SPEAKER_01 2:09

Pretty pretty chill for the most part, but I feel like we're definitely very busy, so we have to prioritize things more and we have to um make sure we're leaving time for each other and um and then our f our immediate family and then our church family, it's kind of hard to do all that sometimes, but I think we're doing pretty good.

SPEAKER_02 2:42

Well, and I know like when we first started, that was one of the things, and and I'll just let the cat out of the bag a little bit here. I remember when we first started into ministry full-time, when it was like, hey, this is we're gonna yield, we're gonna do it. And you know, that we had some interesting conversations about it, in that, you know, like look, we need to guard our words and our actions, we need to pull a little bit closer. And I think in some cases, we didn't even really talk about it, we just really pulled real close. And um and and I think that's probably something like if I was to say, um, hey, young pastor, hey, young pastor's wife, um here's the advice I have. Number one, keep a tight circle and build let that circle be built by God and don't don't try to build it yourself, don't just you know befriend everybody. Would you agree with that?

SPEAKER_01 3:39

Yeah, I think it's easy to get caught up in the drama and other people's drama and be sucked into that, and we can't do that because we have to set ourselves to a higher standard. And I think that we've done pretty good with that.

SPEAKER_02 3:59

We certainly try, don't we? Now the I I think probably what some people might have um a problem with is the whole hold yourself to a higher standard. Um and and I I agree 100%. Um and here's why. When you're in ministry, and I said this a a podcast or three ago, um, go back and look at it if you haven't seen it. But there is a target on your back.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:33

And in in some cases, that target is from the brethren brethren, the people that you trust, people that you love, and they're kind of waiting with bated breath to watch you fail. Would you agree with that?

SPEAKER_01 4:47

Yeah. Definitely. Definitely here in the south, especially, I feel like.

unknown 4:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

More nosy.

SPEAKER_02 4:55

Amen. Amen. But it I it's true though. And I mean, you you look no further than like TV preachers, you know, and and and stuff like that. It becomes like talk of the town, and and you know, it makes the news and and all this other when they fail.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

And yeah, they're not gonna remember what everything, the thousand things you've done right, they're gonna remember you by that one thing that you failed at or that moment of weakness. That's what you're remembered by.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

Yeah. Yeah, and that's sad. That's sad. Yep. Now, when we, you know, and that's what we mean by hold yourself to a higher standard. And I say it behind the pulpit a lot. I say guard your words and your actions. Um, don't, you know, don't you gotta make a conscious effort to try to set the the right um make the right choices and do the right things and say the right things and um be an example unto somebody? Because really that's the largest part of your testimony isn't what you say, it's what you do. Yeah, and uh so when it comes to to family, like how do you feel like mothering has been, you know, when it comes to like family while you've been in ministry?

SPEAKER_01 6:13

Has there been like a difference to you, or you feel like there's I feel like I'm more serious minded about it. Like if I see the kids doing or slipping, or then I'm more quick to say, or maybe not say but pray. Than I was before.

SPEAKER_02 6:39

Right. I I think we should make a shirt that says be quicker to pray than you are to say. Yeah. I make insurance.

SPEAKER_01 6:49

Because sometimes I want to say, I can't do this. Don't do this. This this is not right, or this you'll regret doing that. Where I might should just well, not might, I should just start praying about it.

SPEAKER_02 7:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:09

Because you don't want to ever feel like you're beating your kids over the head with some with a Bible. Yeah. But it's like, you know what's right.

SPEAKER_02 7:20

I agree. I agree. And I'm proud of you for saying that because a lot of folks won't. I think sometimes we take things way to the extreme. And uh and especially like um, you know, like when you're when you're in ministry and everything, like you want to hold your kids to such a high standard, and and I think in some cases you're like, you know, then not us, you know, particularly. Uh let me put it this way, and I'm not bragging. I'm I'm bragging on God if I'm bragging on anybody, but like when our our daughter and and our son-in-law and our grandchildren came to our church, and I'm gonna get emotional thinking about it, like it was such a blessing to see these kids uh want to join our church. And uh, you know, I was hoping that they'd just find a church that had a you know, had a um program and and would take a chance.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

It didn't have to be our church, right? Right.

SPEAKER_02 8:18

And it just it blessed my heart to see them come in and and then when they came up front and and joined, that just that just blessed my heart. Like, you know, what I there's gotta be a million preachers who have you know urged their children to come to their church and you know to to see our kids, you know, like today, you know, get to have you know the boy and and Mac Mac and them grand youngins in church together, you know, that that's a blessing. And I mean we you might get to, you know, you might get a very random, you know, opportunity, but you know, I I think that some preachers are like, no, if you're not going to my church, you're not saved, you know, and goes to previous conversations that we've had off camera, but you know we were just talking about this last night with our son. Yeah. And and how um churches are like, you know, if you're not going to our church, are you even saved? Like you're out of church because you're not going to our church or something, you know, which I don't want to get into the church toxicity conversation. We could this this will be the world's longest podcast, but um I I think it's a blessing to have your kids in church, but then also, you know, it makes you really walk the walk the walk even the more because they know who you are. Yeah, you yeah, and who you are at home has to match up with that, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_01 9:50

That's right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:53

So maybe happy Mother's Day. Thank you. Um to my mother, Brenda, happy Mother's Day, mama. And uh to Jeanette, our my mom-in-law, happy Mother's Day. Um and to all you ladies out there who are mothers who have stepped up, who are the you might be the aunt who has you know been more of a mother than them kids' parents. You might be a grandmother who's had to step up and and and keep them children squared away and and uh and all that. And I say to you, happy Mother's Day, to the stepmothers out there who stepped in and you know, when mama stepped out, you know, happy Mother's Day to you. And uh, and all those foster parents out there who, you know, maybe you weren't able to to have children on, you know, out of your own womb, but my goodness, you're no less of a mother than a woman who has given birth to them children. If you are mothering children, happy Mother's Day to you. Um, and I think it's important that we all acknowledge that it's a uh it's easy for us to write it off. Um, and it's easy for someone who's mad at their mother or something like that to just not even acknowledge that, you know, that y'all women are are working your tails off uh around the clock. And I mean, I know your phone doesn't stop ringing, you know. Oftentimes, you know, I'm I'm like, who is texting you at 11 o'clock at night? And she's like, Zach made it home. I'm glad he's glad he texted me. He made it home. I'm like, okay, well, and he lives two and a half hours away.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

He still texts his mama because he knows I worry.

SPEAKER_02 11:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

Well, I mean, it's good.

SPEAKER_02 11:41

It's good. It wears me out at 11 o'clock at night, but I'd much rather him text you than then they worry about it. Yeah, because then I'll know you won't be you won't be laying over there looking on your phone and and you know, trying to live 360m and all this other. I'd much rather you know and be at peace. But so what else we got, baby? What else you got? So um let me let me say this. Like if you had I I said what my advice would be to a young couple going into ministry, and I want you to think about what your advice would be, whatever that is, and um, and I'll give you a minute to think about that. But if you are a young couple and you feel so drawn into ministry, and you're thinking, you know, and specifically to the mothers, and and you're thinking, how are we going to balance this? What is what is my part in this um in this ministry to to be able to um I guess you could say hold things together and and to because I know that y'all women like to have your hands on everything, you like to be in control, you like to um to to affect positive change. And you know, like I said behind the pulpit this morning, you know, you're you're trying to make a house a home and better the environment that you're in. And and that's something that I absolutely am fascinated about. Women, you give the a woman anything and they will do their best to like improve it, make something better out of it. And I mean, I come home all this week and something's changed, something's different. And and I'm I'm fine with that. But what would your advice be to the the mother in in who's launching in the ministry, you know, behind her husband?

SPEAKER_01 13:35

Oh that's a hard one. I mean, you don't have to pray a lot, is all I know.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

That's huge.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

Yeah. It's it's challenging sometimes. I mean, we've not been doing it that long, but even before we started, we were we were in ministry because people would call us all the time. Um so it it can get challenging, and then you know, you just have to pray a lot because you're carrying other people's burdens too.

SPEAKER_02 14:13

Wow. That seems like such a simple thing. It doesn't seem like um it seems like here's here's what's wild. The uh what you might think is the obvious answer is sometimes the hardest thing to do. Because I mean I I love praying, I love talking to God. You know that I pray a lot. Um, not that I'm you know someone that is the pinnacle of ministry or anything like that. Lord knows I'm just as imperfect as every everyone else. But I I know that sometimes your your chief reaction, the the first thing that you do is react. And it's like, oh, you know, well, what are you gonna do to change this? Well, how are you gonna fix this or whatever you and the last thing on your mind sometimes is wait a minute, I need to talk to God about this. Right. Let me let me let me seek God's opinion on this. Let me see what God's thinking about on this. And then sometimes my wife helps me, you help me, and you're like, hey, you know, we need to pray with them. And I'm like, yeah, that's that's where I should be.

SPEAKER_01 15:23

You know, it's a it's all teamwork. Yeah, you've got to be a team, really. That's that's some advice too. You can't, it's not you by yourself, right? Because I wouldn't be much of a wife.

SPEAKER_02 15:36

Right.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

If if I didn't help you. Right. And you help me, and then we're just in it together.

SPEAKER_02 15:43

That's right. It's a power team. Yeah. I got a beautiful power teammate. I agree 100%. We're um so as many of you know, um, my wife and I, we um, you know, we founded Mercy Church in Pacolet, South Carolina. Currently it's in Pacolet. We're seeking land. Um and she will message me, hey, here's a property, here's a property, here's a property. Other people will message her or message me, and then you know, we've got folks who are praying about donating land and and and all this other, and and like it, you know, we want it now. We're we're just like you, we're no different. You know, we want it right now. Hey, uh Lord, can we move into whatever land tomorrow and right and all that?

SPEAKER_01 16:32

And um I mean we've got the camp meeting set up already. Yeah, we've already got this planned out, right?

SPEAKER_02 16:39

And I mean we're excited about it. Y'all ministry is something that you should have zeal in, like you should feel excited about being in ministry together, and because this is this is a path, and it and it's a it's a chapter that as stressful as it might get sometimes, with the right teammate on your side and with a good team around you, which you know, the Lord's built this team around us, and we've got some just epic stellar people. And I mean, we prayed for a pianist, we got to just jam up pianists to come to the church, and um, you know, and we we prayed for a band, and the Lord's putting the band together, and we you know, we're we're praying for this land, and I know he's gonna he's gonna bring the land, he's gonna bring the property, and we're praying for more time to be able to put into this ministry and and things like that. Like, so when I when I say that there's zeal and there's excitement, and it's a it's a huge thing, you know, there'll be folks who who sit there and they it's almost like they're trying to talk you out about being a ministry, like there's so much challenge, and you know, and to your point, everyone's problems becomes your problems, you know, and and you gotta pray about that, and you've got to seek the Lord's will for it and uh and all this other, but it's also super rewarding to be able to pray with somebody and love on them and um you know, and then see God come through for them. Yeah, because that's testimony, yeah. I mean, I'm I it wasn't that long ago. We had a couple who they started praying for um a home. And uh, you know, we just this past just Monday.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Um they'll be moving in their home tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02 18:27

Yeah, this yeah, just tomorrow. They'll be moving into their home. And you know, we get to watch that and and get to see them, you know, like and they're like, you gotta come over and pray for our house. You know, you you gotta come over and pray. And and I'm like, yeah, absolutely. And that's ministry. Yeah. And that's yeah, there are challenges.

SPEAKER_01 18:51

Our challenge is the time right now.

SPEAKER_02 18:54

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 18:55

It's it's hard when you both work full time and we know that we're not supposed to be public jobs if we want to be ministry, we're ministry minded. So we're praying about that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

And I mean, I believe it's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00 19:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:16

Because I don't I don't believe that the Lord would put so much passion in your heart to help people if it wasn't going to be what he does with you.

SPEAKER_00 19:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

You know, why would he put so much drive into a, you know, into a lion if the lion wasn't supposed to hunt?

SPEAKER_00 19:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:35

And and why would he put wings on a bird if they weren't supposed to fly? You know, like it doesn't make sense. Why would he put so much drive and passion in somebody to love on people if they weren't supposed to do it? Like I I I just you couldn't bring me to believe that the Lord, you know, he he makes these flowers not want to bloom, you know, like that's not what he does.

SPEAKER_01 20:01

And that's a big part these days. There's not a lot of there's a lot of preachers, but there's not a lot of pastors left. And then a lot of preachers' wives, you don't ever know, sometimes you don't even know who they are, barely know who they are. And I don't want our ministry to be that way.

SPEAKER_02 20:23

Yeah. Because we are.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

And I want to be able to be there for people when they have deaths and when they have births and all the good things and the bad things and visit all that good stuff.

SPEAKER_02 20:45

Yeah. Well, we should.

SPEAKER_01 20:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

I'm glad I get to do it with you. Me too. Listen, I love you, and God loves you. This has been the unqualified podcast with Leon Wilson.