Winning Women's Wednesday
Join Ashley and Michelle on their mythical quest for work life balance while navigating the choppy waters of female entrepreneurship!
Winning Women's Wednesday
The Five Mindset Shifts for a Fulfilling Life
Michelle and Ashley explore five mindset shifts essential for creating a fulfilling life and thriving business in today's rapidly changing world. They unpack how redefining success, embracing authenticity, and cultivating flexibility can transform your approach to work and life.
• Examine your definition of success – what might have defined success at 28 looks different at 40
• Allow your true self to shine by focusing on your authentic strengths and what energizes you
• Release perfectionism and the paralyzing need to know everything before taking action
• Embrace flexibility in your systems while maintaining consistency in your key activities
• Ask for support and accountability from coaches, partners, and community
• Winners recognize they need to invest in themselves regardless of market conditions
• Choose business relationships wisely and find people whose strengths complement your weaknesses
Join us for Ignite Summer Momentum! The waitlist is now open for our coaching program at just $97/month. Multiple coaching sessions each week plus Corey Turner's social media program included.
You're live. Oh, good morning. Welcome to Winning Women's Wednesday. I am here with my amazing co-host, ms Ashley Gentry. Well, hello, michelle Ozemi. I don't know if they caught me sticking my tongue out because I was playing with the cameras while we were waiting to go live. We thought we weren't live, and then we were live. It's been a morning already, by the way. A week it's been a week. That's why I'm wearing my T-shirt that my daughter got me for Mother's Day.
Speaker 1:How was your Mother's Day? It was good. I need to tell them what's on my T-shirt first. Yes, okay, it says it's a throat punch kind of day. Absolutely, absolutely. And my 11-year-old child picked it out for me. That's sweet. I know it is sweet. She knows me. So you had a good Mother's Day. I did. I played pickleball, of course you did, yeah, and then I hung out with my kid. That's awesome, my husband, I love it. What about you? It was good, it was good.
Speaker 1:So Gracie and I were both kind of wrapping up our semesters, yeah, so I had a ton of homework and she graded the same day. So I am done with that class and I got, yeah, yeah, thank you, thank you, out of you. Oh, I'm just happy to be done with it. I hate statistics, it's awful, it's awful. And then Gracie had her last final that she cared about on Monday. So the Ozimi Simonton girls are done, because Caitlin had her, I don't know. Every year for Mother's Day in New York, she leads a recital of like five, six, seven year olds. Ok, it's really cute and precious. So that's what she was doing. Ok, so the Simonton girls were done. We're good. Like life is good.
Speaker 1:The boys, though, are in their own little hell right now. So Alan's getting prepared for the other art fair, lucas is wrapping up to graduate, and he lost a 17-page paper yesterday. Oh, the fact that he had to do a 17-page paper is disgusting. And then losing it, that's like bone crushing. And me and the girls were like well, have you tried this, have you tried that? And nobody wants to hear that. How do you lose it? That's what I said. He wrote it on a Mac. How did you lose it? Well, especially if you. I mean, that's why I use Google Docs. Well, and we're like Real-time saves in the cloud, and it's like I think it does that anyway. Even if you do it on Word, it real-time saves. I don't know about that and really, are you going to be that demonstrative and definitive on technology? No, and that's fair. That is fair. That's a different episode. Okay, so, yeah, so, no, mother's Day was good, can't complain. Yeah, okay, good.
Speaker 1:What are we talking about today? Oh, oh, there's so many things going on, so many things. There are so many things going on, okay. So today we are going to talk about the mindset, the five mindset shifts. You need to have a fulfilling life and business. Okay, pretty excited about it.
Speaker 1:I'm really shocked you didn't send me what those were. I knew you wouldn't read them, thank you, but I also, like so many of them resonated, okay, and so many of them, I feel like, will resonate with you that I think the off the cuff challenge accepted. What's number one? Number one is examine your definition of success. Oh, okay, yeah, that's a good one. I do like that one, yeah, yeah, because I think so many times we listen to, as children, the good meaning advice of mentors and the adults in our lives and we follow the path that they set for us. You mean, like, get a stable job in a corporate environment and a solid paycheck with retirement. You don't have to be quite so bitter. But yes, and I often will remind my lovely mother who, well, I didn't have one I thought you did for a brief moment. No, she tried to make me.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, no, I mean, like I was an apartment manager and I worked at the Hyatt when I moved back to California for like a blip on the radar, but other than that, I mean it's been real estate or slinging drinks at night. What did you do at the Hyatt? I worked the front desk, which was really cool because we were the only hotel in the valley and so there was a studio nearby. Okay, so we got. All the famous people would come and stay at our hotel. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, so I got to meet a lot of famous people. Who was the most famous person you met? So Kiefer Sutherland actually asked me out. Stop it, I know. Yeah, that is a total show. Yeah, oh, that's exciting.
Speaker 1:And then the lead singer of Survivor got banned from the hotel. Survivor, yeah, um, I don't know that one. I have a Tiger, oh, okay, yeah, come on. Yeah, he got banned from the hotel because he started stalking me, got a little creepy. So they banned him from the hotel. Meatloaf was there. He wouldn't stay in the hotel, he stayed in his RV, his big bus on the property and his people Grateful Dead. Oh, you like some serious people? Oh yeah. So they came and the one guy was a recovering alcoholic. I feel really bad about this now, but he I guess he wasn't really in recovery, because he would just put his vodka in the safety deposit box and give me 20 bucks to open it every time he wanted a nip. Stop it, I know, so I do. I mean, this is at 19 years old, or 18 years old. I was 18.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there was a lot of interesting stories that, oh. And then CSI used to film. I used to film on their CSI. Las Vegas Says a lot about the hotel. Yeah, but they used to film there. And well, one of the episodes was fur and loathing in Las Vegas. So it was a furry convention, oh my God. And there were fun. There were toys everywhere and people in furry costumes.
Speaker 1:Okay, moving on. Okay, you said so. There you go. Okay, but definition of success. I am so like, I'm so lost track, I know, woo, nothing, I was just got to number one. This may be a two parter, ok, but drilling down on definition of success, I think that's really important, because what I would have thought was success at 28, let's say 28. Yeah, 28, let's say 28, is very different what I would define success at 40. Because you know what my biggest thing? I think I changed.
Speaker 1:It's not about money, yeah. It's about creating more leverage, yeah, and it's about creating more opportunity for myself, having more time and freedom. No, I want to make money, sure, but I want to make money. But I want to build, I want to build businesses, I. It's not about just pnls, it's about what I can do, you know, to create consistent revenue streams, not mailbox money, because I still have to push everything right now. But, yeah, but no, I, so I, I think it is. It's a little different.
Speaker 1:Before it would have been been hey, I want to send, sell, you know, 15 million in real estate, right, like, that's that's, you know, charting, what successful would have looked like. And now that's not even in my atmosphere, like, yeah, that's just a duh, like I need to sell a lot of real estate, right, right, so what about you? So for me, it's more about time and freedom, ok, but not in the way like, yes, I still want to make money, but I want to have the flexibility to do what I want to do when I want to do it. Oh well, nobody tells me what to do. Yeah, that's true, that's true, yeah. But you like to travel. You like to do other things I do. I like to play pickleball and hang out with my family yes, with my family, yes, yes. And I like to hang out with my family, my family's, in Seattle and New York yeah, yours is all over, all over Mine's in the same house. Oh, I don't want that. No, no, that is not my definition of success. Okay, sorry, hayes, not even a little bit.
Speaker 1:What's number two? Okay, number two, this kind of goes with number one. Number one allow your true self to shine, which sounds a little hokey, but, going back, it does sound a little hokey, it does. It sounds like it should be a bumper sticker, yeah. Or like an Instagram post, yes. Or a photo, yes.
Speaker 1:But reflecting back on number one, what really is your definition of success and how are you stifling yourself by not pursuing that and pursuing the things that other people expect of you? Well, you know, for me, it's if I'm not playing in my strengths and I have to figure out what my strengths are, which, if you know, they have to be authentic or they're not. Your natural strengths, right. And so for me, I think it was dialing in what am I good at, what allows me to be my my authentic self, consistently, and ultimately, that's when you can win out and manifest the life that you want, because, well, I want your desire for it. Yeah, what you enjoy, because sometimes the things you're good at you don't necessarily enjoy. I'm really good at staging, so there's that, yeah, so, yeah, no, I, I, I totally get it. But I think that's the thing that you know when people are like, well, what would you tell you? Know a new entrepreneur, a new realtor and everything else. Like, you got to figure out what you're really good at and what you want to, what you to your point, what you want to be good at, yes, right, yeah, gives you a little, gives you energy, doesn't drain the battery and then play in that space as much as you can, yes, so, yes, I like that. Yeah, no, I like that too.
Speaker 1:Number three Yep, release the need to know all the answers, that perfectionism and that fear of failure, especially those of us in that, like Gen X generation or geriatric millennial, geriatric millennial yeah, just like that perfectionism, yeah, no, I, I hear you on that. Um, so I'm going to go on a tangent for a second. You know, it's really shocking. Um, I was well. I was getting ready and watching my TikToks, cause that's what I do, that's how I get my brain flowing. I don't listen to music or do anything. You know, do that.
Speaker 1:It was this woman who was. It was this. She started a club and it's like we don't care anymore, whatever, whatever else we don't care about. And so she keeps on going over the acronym and she's hysterical and she's like she sounds bitter, she's like she goes. It's the club for women that are going through perimenopause and menopause. Okay, Okay, okay.
Speaker 1:What was number three? Release the perfectionism. Okay, got it. And she just starts talking about like it's okay if you dress like Adam Sandler and go out in baggy clothes, because clothes are clothes. It's okay if you have cellulite coming out of your shorts because God gave you those legs, we don't care anymore. It's okay if you've been wearing the same bra for a week. It's a bra, right, and like it was. It was kind of funny. I think we might care. We, you know we should care. Do you dare? You supposed to wear different bras? Yeah, ok, that's a different show. Yeah, got it.
Speaker 1:So the funny part about it is like I agree with her from the standpoint of like, do you boo, like, do whatever you want to do. Now, I'm still going to make myself presentable because it makes me feel better about myself, but that's presentable in my own way and I don't have to be perfect. Like, hairs can be out of place, things can be done, but I've just gotten to a point where I also own it when it's not and I'm like hey, I'm, you know, unfortunately didn't work out the way we thought it was going to. No, and we all have those days. But I will say, going back to your women who don't care and don't change their bras, there have been so many studies. Okay, we're going to talk about that later. That's probably off the air. Okay, there's been so many studies that just affirm the idea that when we do take care of ourselves and when we do get dressed up and when we do make ourselves look our best, we improve better and psychologically we feel better.
Speaker 1:Okay, but it looks different, because before, at 19 years old, as a real estate professional, I would wear a suit and pearls and a scarf and heels. Sure, and I thought that was the idea of perfection. And, yeah, I'm in ripped jeans with my Nikes and a sassy T-shirt, yes, but you're not. Let's looks fabulous and back together. Sure, there's. There's a difference, you know. I mean, there's definitely that I just rolled out of bed and now I'm at any of the still in your eyes. Yes, yeah, we don't, we don't want that. But perimenopause or otherwise, yeah, we don't want that, agreed. But it's okay to pivot and it's okay to say, whoops, that didn't work out. Or you know what? I don't need to know all of that because I have a really smart friend, michelle, who knows all the things I don't know. So I'm just going to ask her so I don't have to look dumb. But then I'm not about you. Yeah, Fair, fair, true, accurate. Thank you.
Speaker 1:Number four this one I'm really excited about. Let me see if I can be your what like it, you've done such a good job today. I'm so proud of you. No, I'm excited about this one because it's embrace, flexibility. Oh, I like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, in your systems, in your schedules, in your processes, because there are multiple ways to do things. Yeah, and I think we get lost in this idea, especially those of us who are perfectionists and have that fear of failure. We think we have to do it this other way and I talk about that in my coaching. I talk about that on the air, a lot Like, for example, the pot buys Nothing against pot buys. But I'm not doing them and that doesn't mean I'm not a great realtor. There are other ways and other avenues to communicate and lead, generate and connect with your client.
Speaker 1:Sure, and it's finding that it doesn't mean that you don't have processes, you don't have systems, but you find the ones that work for you, that make you your most authentic self. I know you don't have systems or processes. I sort of say what do you think mine are Most authentic self? I know you don't have systems or processes. I was about to say what do you think mine are? Whatever you tell Reese, do you know how much is in this top knot right now? Like I store so many things in there? Yeah, like actual things. No, it's my brain, like there's a lot in my head at a given time? Yeah, but going back to examining your definition of success, right, and being your most authentic self and allowing your true self to shine, okay, shine bright like a diamond.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, yeah, put the systems and processes and the way that you do things. Yeah, Incorporate that into them. It doesn't make it wrong. You still have to do things. Sure, it's really talking about lead generation realtors. Yeah, you got to do something. You got to do something. Do it consistently, very consistently, but I don't hear what it is. Yes, yes, you pick the thing and you do it on a consistent basis. Just do it. But you can make it yours. Just do it, like Nike, just do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't think they say that anymore. They don't. I don't think we're supposed to say that anymore. Are you trying to tell me what to do? I would never. Well, because Mel Robbins was.
Speaker 1:I was listening to her the other day, like only in short form, on TikTok. I was like are you going to listen to Let them? Well, that's what it was. And she said you know it, there's certain words that are so powerful. So just do it. What do you think is the most important part of that? Do no. No, just Really, because think about it in your head. If Nike had done, do it, okay, just do it. The do it makes it a little more aggressive, it does, and so the just was more of like a transformation in your head. It was like you can do it, just do it. That kind of thing, yeah, okay, versus, do it. Interesting, I know I like that. So it brought something to the table. You always do I do, yeah, so no, I think the biggest part of that is, though, like, look, if I'm consistently communicating with my sphere, it might look different every day.
Speaker 1:It might be a text message, it might be a Facebook message, it might be a throat punch. It will not be a Facebook message, because you never check your Facebook message. I do, I check them all the time. I just choose how to respond sometimes, but I respond in my head. That's something else too. But I play pickleball all the time, but sometimes it might be the morning, sometimes it might be the afternoon. Yeah, but you're playing with your friends, I'm playing with my friends and people in your sphere, and so for you, that is lead generating. Well, I was also saying I consistently play pickleball, just via different times. Oh, absolutely, yeah, so I think that's okay. You got to have those things Absolutely, but don't be so rigid, because it also, when you're that rigid, it doesn't allow for any other cool things to take it like to come into your space, agreed, and what I have been finding and this could be a little controversial, love it, okay for me.
Speaker 1:Controversial oh, got it, not for me. I've been working. I've onboarded a lot of new coaching clients lately. That's awesome, I know. I'm so happy, thank you, thank you, thank you. But what I've been finding is that the brokers that they're working with are so rigid in what they want these people to do that it's stealing their joy and like they have these sets of rules that are very specific that don't really necessarily make any sense.
Speaker 1:Give me an example. Oh, my gosh, I don't want to call anybody out. So one of them, one of my clients, has a broker that absolutely forbids her from doing well, it's two things. I have two examples Forbids her from doing open houses from other agents, from other brokerages. I actually agree with that. But go ahead. My E&O insurance is not going to cover that other agent's stupidity, so go ahead. But if you are in a small brokerage that doesn't have a ton of listings, you've got to find a way to get yourself out there. No, I agree, but as a broker, I am only covered with my agents underneath me, and another agent goes into my listing Right and she's not covered by my E&O. Now she has E&O but my E&O provider might decide to not cover if something happens on that property and I can be left holding the bag. So I respectfully disagree with you on that one. But go ahead. Interesting, yeah, go ahead. Interesting, oh me, I'm the one that has boundaries today. Look at you, I know. Yeah, go ahead, tristan, oh me, I'm the one that has boundaries today. Look at you, I know. Yeah, I definitely respectfully disagree with that whole thing. Let's arm wrestle later, okay. And then the second one she will not allow her to provide tax appraisal assistance. Oh, I'm fine with it. I don't like doing it. No, I'm fine with it.
Speaker 1:I think that broker is obviously very risk-adversed. I would say risk-adversed. Okay, that's what that is. Because what that broker does not want to happen is that agent to give incorrect or inaccurate information and by doing that, and if they don't preface it appropriately with the client that they're helping and it doesn't work, then that client could come back and say, well, you're the expert and they're not a tax, they're not an appraiser, sure, they're not somebody that approaches. I feel like that's a broker who maybe shouldn't sponsor agents. I just think they're risk adverse. In my opinion, they're overly risk adverse to the point that they're stifling the growth of their people and risk adverse to the point that they're stifling the growth of their people and I think they need to go to a big brokerage where they can sit there and defend lawsuits.
Speaker 1:Because, I'll tell you right now, I got rid of all my agents because they were all idiots and I didn't want to pay my insurance policies. We might cut that out later. No, I may not. Oh, but it got to the point where I was being very rigid, and that's my point. I was being very rigid at my brokerage because I had to control what was going on, because I was materially responsible for all of that. So I think that they should absolutely, if they want more flexibility, find a brokerage that their business model is not so tight knit that they don't have the ability to do some of those other things, because there are other brokerages that don't have a problem with that stuff. Absolutely, but I also can see from that point isn't that weird? I was like the conservative one on that. I know I like it.
Speaker 1:No, I am definitely asked questions later when it comes to stuff like that, and I've been through several lawsuits and I've seen some things I've been through zero. I mean I've been through several lawsuits and I've seen some things I have been through zero. I mean I've been through zero in the real estate. No, I've been through several on the real estate side, won all of them. Should we have a conversation about this later? No, I won all of them, okay, good, yeah, and that's the thing is, I've kind of seen the inner workings of that, yeah, and what really does matter, here's what I will say to that Now they're not fun, they weren't fun and they cost money.
Speaker 1:Regardless if you're right, you're in the right or not, my thing is is I'm good with that, but I am the only one that gets to act that way, and that in my business I will. I will take it to the ends of the earth and I will burn you down, but I'm not going to have that same mentality on the razor thin profit margins, and I think that's what we also have to understand, yeah, is that there is no profit in brokerage activities anymore, and so which, again, is where I feel like that broker and any broker with that same mentality should be like you and me and not sponsor agents. Sure, I agree, because I think you're a detriment to your agents and how they grow. Okay, keep going. You're not allowing your agents to grow and experience and make their own way, and I think that's important. Yes, let the dodo birds do as many open houses as they want.
Speaker 1:Go ahead, you are awful today. It's a throw punch kind of day. Okay, it's all right. Okay, number five I've I gotta roll the page down here. Roll the page. Is that what you can say? It's not, is it rolling? Scroll on the page. Yeah, and like I didn't even make this one, ask for the support you need. Everyone needs accountability and support to develop and grow. The way you said it was like so sweet, I try it was. It was like he was like a like a fifth grade teacher or something like it was just the way you said it. I don't know, no, but you are absolutely right.
Speaker 1:That is the biggest piece of advice I try to impart on anybody is do it with somebody else. Find somebody that that has strengths that are your weaknesses, and you know what? Because it's also a lot more fun. Oh, my gosh, yeah, seating. It's more fun to have a partner, and when you're getting kicked in the teeth. It's actually, it's more support when you have a partner riding through it.
Speaker 1:That's what marriage, good marriage it's not always good, but I want to have a teammate for life man, 100%. So I think that's where, in business, a lot of times we want to have this scarcity mindset of I don't want to bring somebody else in, there's not enough money for all of us. I don't think we just force our spouse to do it with us. You know, poor Reese, poor Alan, but if I ask him for one more graphic this week, he might kill me. Oh yeah, trying to use AI as much as possible. Now, at this point, I've got a busy week with the art coming. I feel so bad. No, but that's exciting, but no.
Speaker 1:I think that's why I always encourage people to have a coach, have an accountability system, have your teammates, have your friends, go into business with somebody else, but choose that wisely. Be prepared for a divorce at some point. Yes, bring up in a business, yes, but there's enough money for all of us to go around, and I think doing life by yourself is a very lonely place, whether it's business or personal. And I have to say this there is enough money to go around, agreed, but there's also enough money. If you were in business and you're running a business, there's enough money for you to hire a coach, whether it's me or somebody else. You have to be investing in yourself. Well, I think that I mean, that's what I said. No, I know you did, but I've been hearing that so much lately that I'm waiting for the market to get better before I invest in any more marketing, before I invest in a coach.
Speaker 1:Because no, no, no, that's not how it works. Those aren't winners. Winners recognize they spend money. Their money needs to work for them. They're not worried about budgeting and paying bills. Correct, now you've got to pay your bills.
Speaker 1:We did it. We did it. We got Rick to comment. We had to get way into the show. No, he's giggled a couple times, has he?
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, but no, it's not that, trust me, I consistently pay my bills Like I've got a good credit score, like I've got a good credit score, like none of that's a problem, you know. But my thing on that, or they're on auto pay, whatever it is, I'm not every day those thinking about what I have to pay, right, I'm thinking about how do I make what's coming in work for me even more, even harder, and that's the mindset that most realtors unfortunately do not have, and I get it. You don't want to live in a ditch with no electricity, but most realtors unfortunately do not have, and I get it. You don't want to live in a ditch with no electricity, but if we're not going to have electricity it's going to be because I forgot to pay it. Thank you, yes, but I think that's where people don't understand.
Speaker 1:You are consistently in the same cycle of hell year over year, because you are doing life and business the same way year over year and getting in a group or with a coach that can give you accountability and support and direction to help you get out of that year after year. Yeah, it's huge. See, because I want to impart this, you get your license for 10 years. Do you have 10 years of experience or do you have one year of experience times 10? I love that quote. I've heard that before and I love that because it's so, so, so true.
Speaker 1:Are you living the same year? I think Groundhog's Day, it's over, and I hate that movie. It's so accurate. Well, it makes me hive. Yeah, that is like the first dates where they wake up and have to do the thing again Stresses me out. I know I don't want that to be my life and, to your point, I don't want that to be my business. I will also say I probably was a little bit more on that rat race several years ago, sure, but when I look at things now and I look at, year over year, the differences, how I've pushed myself you know the people that are in my life that looks different. It's exciting. It also makes you want to get up and get excited about what's life Like.
Speaker 1:Coming to the show I did know I always get excited or going to Throttle Up. It feels like Throttle Up was a month ago. It was like a week and a half ago, wasn't it? It was two weeks ago. Oh gosh, yeah, a week and a half, you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is actually our first show since Throttle Up, which was amazing. It was amazing, and if anyone is ready to start their podcast, you've got to give us a shout out. We can, you can.
Speaker 1:So, okay, let me recap the five. Okay, I got to scroll back up again. Okay, expand your definition of success. Okay, wait, that's not right. Examine your definition of success. I can't read my own writing. Okay, that's not a problem. Allow your true self to shine. Okay, release the need to know everything Told you so, yeah, embrace flexibility.
Speaker 1:Got it? Unless you're, ashley, who's very rigid Like a pretzel? Yeah, and ask for the support and accountability that you need. Don't tell me what to do what. No, you know what. I got a tribe. I got a pod of people. I got a support group. I am a huge fan of all of that and I think these were great, michelle, awesome, thank you, thank you, thanks for being here.
Speaker 1:And if you don't have your tribe on the big screen, yes, yes, the fun toy, the fun toy I'm so. Alan's going to want one now. Yeah, ignite Summer Momentum is coming. The wait list is open. Awesome, super excited about it. It's going to coaching throughout the week for $97 a month. $97 a month, multiple coaching sessions that's great, isn't that insane? And you get Corey Turner's social media program. That's wonderful, super fun, super fun. Waitlist is open. If you have questions, you can reach out to me or Ashley. I'm sure she'd be happy to tell you all about it. Of course, it's like a two-for-one special. You get two great coaches with two different major strengths, and that's the cool part and coming soon, we're going to announce the big kickoff for it. We're going to have a little summer party. I love to party. Yeah, she doesn't really know what I'm talking about, but she'll be there. Okay, so will Rick. All right, guys, this is it. Winning Women's Wednesday Signing off. Signing off. Have a great week.