Working Moms & Mom Guilt

🎙 Working Moms & Mom Guilt

🔹 Episode Summary:
Working moms, we see you—and we get it. The constant juggling act, the guilt trips (both self-imposed and from others), and the worry about whether we’re doing enough for our kids. In this first episode of I Get It From My Mom, Elissa, Ava, and Maggie take a deep dive into the realities of growing up with a working mom.

They explore:
 ✅ The early days of maternity leave ending and the struggle of returning to work
 ✅ How kids actually feel about their moms working (spoiler: it’s not as bad as we think!)
✅ The balance between being involved and giving kids the independence they need
✅ Whether working mom guilt even matters in the long run

Through honest conversation and some hilarious throwback stories, this episode sheds light on what it’s really like for both moms and their kids as they navigate careers, parenting, and everything in between.

🎧 Listen now for some real talk on work, motherhood, and letting go of the guilt! (And pardon the audio inconsistencies in our first-ever podcast!)

🔹 Takeaways & Reflection:
📌 Moms—your guilt is real, but your kids may not even feel it the way you think.
📌 Kids—parents work hard, but that doesn’t mean they love you any less.
📌 Everyone—family balance looks different for everyone, and that’s okay!

💬 Join the Conversation:
👉 What’s your biggest struggle as a working mom (or as a kid of one)? Share your thoughts in the comments on Instagram at @i.get.it.from.mymom!
👉 Tag a working mom who needs to hear this episode!

📲 Follow & Subscribe so you never miss an episode!

💼💛 Let’s ditch the guilt and celebrate the chaos of working motherhood!

Transcript

Introduction

0:01

welcome to I Get It From My Mom, where my daughters and I have honest, sometimes hilarious, and always real conversations about life. I'm Ava. I'm 18 and a college freshman and giving my perspective as the older child breaking in my parents. And I'm Maggie. I'm 15 and in high school and providing the second chance for my parents to get it right. And I'm Elissa, a working mom raising these two with my husband. We're not here to tell you how to parent or how to be the perfect kid. None of us here are experts, especially when it comes to podcasting. This is our first time. We're just a mom and her daughters trying to figure things out as we go. We definitely don't have all the answers, but we do have a little bit of perspective and we wanna help parents and children have more balanced, open, and sometimes messy conversations about the things that actually matter. This isn't about our mom trying to be cool, and it's not about us thinking we know everything. It's about making sure we all feel heard, understood, and okay with the fact that we don't always agree. So whether you're a mom trying to understand your children, or a daughter trying to survive your parents, welcome to I Get It From My Mom. Let's get into today's topic. Today, we're talking about something that so many moms struggle with. Working mom guilt. Whether it's the early days of leaving your baby for the first time, juggling elementary school schedules, or figuring out how involved to be as your kids grow up, there's always that little voice asking, am I doing enough? We know most moms at some point have a feeling of some level of guilt of balancing their careers and parenting. But do kids actually feel the way that we think they do? That's what we're here to dive into today, what it's really like to grow up with a working mom from the toddler years to the teenage years. So let's start at the beginning, going back to work after maternity leave. That was brutal. The guilt, the exhaustion, the constant worry that I was missing something. You want to be the best mom, but you also want and need to provide for your family and balancing that is not easy. Keep in mind, Ava, you were only like 12 weeks old when I went back to work. Actually, I think 11. They called me back a week early. I was nursing full time. Hot mess of it. Um, you had yet to sleep more than like two to three hours. Sucks. We hired our first nanny without even knowing her baby, without a routine, just crossing our fingers that all would be okay. The morning goodbyes were gut wrenching. Plus, I was exhausted. I spent the days wondering what was going on at home. As I sneaked off into the pumping room in the office that was like 32 floors down and around the corner and behind like a guarded wall. And then I would come home so dazed and confused as I slipped back into mom. I don't know what you're talking about, I was probably the easiest kid. But, seriously, I mean, I don't remember anything, I was so young, but I don't doubt that I was probably fine, and if I wasn't well taken care of, I bet you would have been able to tell. Similar to when we got the dog, I don't think kids, or even babies, realize how time goes by. When you guys are away for work, we wouldn't notice how long it would be until you guys came back, and I think we adapted faster to that routine when we didn't realize how long you guys would be gone for. You would always be taken to the park or doing fun things, so when you guys came back it was more of an excitement versus a where have you been all day. It's true. We were probably like Wesley getting all excited when you were home because we thought it was five minutes and not five hours. No, it's really because, you know, while Wesley, our obviously fabulous dog, we walk in and he's got his own wiggly little butt thing and the toy in his mouth. You know, when you guys were little, you would have your little like kicking hands the baby giggle, which was really cute. There were also times I feel like I would walk in and I'm trying to remember now, you'd have this stunned look on your face and then have to adjust, you know, when you're such a baby, you would have to realize it was mommy coming in. One, you couldn't see so far yet. And two was I'd have to get into your face and be like, hi baby, for you to really feel like I was there. but I think a lot of moms struggle with this. Those first few months of balancing who you are at work and just having a baby and the nursing and the feeding and the schedule. It's a lot. I have no doubt that it was a lot of work and we probably weren't the easiest children to deal with, but what were things that you would do or things that you would learn from Ava to then me that helped you balance these emotions easier? No, that's a good point. I think we definitely got better as time went on. Um, so obviously, you know, sorry Ava. Whole other episode we have coming out about birth order and the way you screw up the first one. Figure it out kind of, sort of, not really by the second one. I think I turned out fine. Oh, Jess, perfect. But yeah, no, one of the things we did pivot and change, and actually I think it was advice from someone else, was to really have the nanny or daycare or caregiver write down on a piece of paper each day with what happened and what the routine was. When the naps were, when the poops were, when the feedings were, how much you actually consumed of, you know, the milk I had in the freezer. And this way. We didn't have to talk about that with the nanny. We could come home and get the cute stories. Here's when you giggled. Here's when you crawled. Here's who we saw in the park. Here's what we did. That was just such a better conversation. And then I also didn't have to sit there and immediately remember when your last feeding was and when do I have to whip out the boob again? It was written down for me. I could just go back to it. And then of course, if there was any concerns, the nanny would write them down as a question, just even to remind herself to ask me back and we could talk about it. So, I think just keeping that log was helpful, for sure. No, yeah, that definitely makes a lot of sense. Like, knowing that your baby's okay is definitely what you want to know during the day. And, hey, mom, I mean, I'm gone for college. If you need a schedule of when my poops and feedings are so you're not worried, I got you. Oh, yeah, we could all do that. What do you think, Mags? I'll start. I'll start it out. Oh, yeah, totally. I want to get, I want to get Maggie's poop schedule every day. Oh, yeah. I'll, I'll text it to you. Group chat. Alright, so moving on from babyhood, once you two were in elementary school, things got easier in some ways. While mornings were actually more chaotic, at least you were both sleeping through the nights and you had your own little routines and could tell me if something was wrong. Language makes such a difference! And I won't lie, work was sometimes my escape from dealing with you two bouncing off the wall. Fair, we were definitely a lot at that age. But I don't think I even remember feeling like I was ever missing out. All of my friends had nannies or sitters or grandparents picking them up, so it never felt like, when you guys weren't there, other people had their parents and we didn't. And We always had after school activities or play dates with babysitters or grandma taking us to McDonald's every Wednesday that always kept us busy. Grandma took you to McDonald's every Wednesday? I gotta call grandma. I miss McDonald's Wednesdays. But no, I mean, it's true. I don't really remember feeling like you guys were ever not there. I mean, We had all these school activities, and I know you couldn't chaperone trips and stuff like that, but I really think you were there for like every performance or every museum or whatever. Someone was always there, and you would always explain why you couldn't make something, and I think we always understood that. Yeah, I think Dad and I tried to make every effort that if you were going to have something in classroom where parents were showing up, You'd have representation from us or at worst a grandparent. You know, you always had some, we wouldn't leave you hanging. But I will say one of the things your elementary school did great, and for all parents out there, make this ask of your elementary schools. They held all activities early in the morning. So if there was a Talent show, a dance performance, a graduation. Everything was at eight or eight 30 in the morning, which just made getting to work afterwards so much easier than ever leaving in the middle of day or leaving at two 30. So shout out to success academy. One of those things they did, right. You guys remember any of the school things we came through in your classroom or anything? I do. I remember that. I think it was second grade. We had a bird museum and it just happened that that year. There was a bird's nest on our porch outside and I got to take him to school. And I definitely was the coolest kid in class that day. And it was in the museum and I had a beautiful drawing of a morning dove that I think it looked like a monster, but you know, artistic talent was never my thing. And of course, all those amazing school dances and theater performance back when me and Ava were both convinced we could sing or act. Hey, I can sing. Kinda. You guys remember the best was that talent show where you did the hula hoop dance. Oh my God, that was so impressive. Hula hoop like up in the air and coming down your body. There were so many cheers. That's a talent you definitely didn't get from me. I don't know. I think the best part of that performance was Maggie dancing on the side with the stick. No one cared about my hula hoop skills. Maggie's Disney stick dance on the side was really what stole the show. I got a lot of questions the next day why I wasn't hula hooping. Well, and it even had this song. What was that song that played in the background? Hula hula hoops. And now we're in the blessed teenage years. This is where I feel like I want to be more involved, but you two don't always want me hovering. Look, I think you need to appreciate that you raised us to be independent. You encouraged us to talk to our teachers on our own if there's ever an issue. We know to stay on top of homework. We know how to do laundry. We know how to cook fairly well. I mean, I think that you need to take a step back and think that, you know what, we're at an age we can survive without having a helping hand every step of the way. So you don't have to be involved in every little thing. I mean, yeah, no offense, Mom, but I think at this age, it would be weird if you were at every single school event and home every day anticipating our every need. Sometimes we just want to come home and have quiet time to decompress from school. I think it's amazing to see you both grow into the young women you are now, but it's also hard as a parent to step back. There's two things, if I may, that I think, we always made clear, though, as working parents. The first was. To your teachers, we've always emphasized that even though dad and I work full time, we're very involved in your lives. We never wanted a school or a teacher or principal to think we weren't aware of your work or grades or behavior because I felt like teachers sometimes looked down at us if we didn't show up to everything, but I didn't want them to think everything was getting by us. We knew what was going on and were very involved. The second is, and especially with you guys as teenagers, to me, it's hard to know you without knowing your friends. We don't have to know everyone, but we've tried to make our home welcoming, where at least your close friends you want to bring by. We want to know who you're spending time with. We want to see how people treat you, and importantly, how you are around your peers. And I think that makes us feel kind of more secure in terms of what's going on. Even if we're not involved in everything. I think there's a good balance that parents need to have of wanting to be a part of our lives in a healthy way, but also being able to give us freedom and space to ourselves when we need it. We're at the age where we want to have our own lives with our friends and not always have you trailing behind. Sure, there are times when I'd love for you to back off a bit, but I think now I can appreciate what a good job you and dad did of not being helicopter parents while we were growing up. Wait, wait, did I hear you say you appreciate me at this stage? Wow! Eh, I'm kidding. Of course we do. You're the one who shaped us into the woman we are today and showed us that mom's can have careers and still be involved. You know, just not too involved at this point. By not always hounding us or being so overbearing, it also gives us the chance to shape our lives and shape our own personalities to not only our friends but also reflect those same personalities to you in our own time. That makes sense. Oh my God, this was such a great conversation. I do have maybe a few questions we can end with. Do your best to answer honestly, okay? If you could change one thing about how I worked while you were growing up, what would it be? You know, I mean, I think there were times that you and dad were both out at work events or traveling and it obviously wasn't very fun having to be put to bed by the babysitter and not all getting to eat dinner together, but you know what? Little me had to suck it up. It's okay. You guys are working. You know, the changing routine wasn't the best, but it was very not often, and we kind of got used to it. It was always fun to try and get the babysitter to let us go to sleep later than we should have. I'm sure. Alright, that's fair. How about, what's one moment where you actually liked that I was a working mom? I mean, to be honest, sometimes it was nice when you were gone. Dad would always take us out to do fun things. He would take us to amazing restaurants, or always cook food for us. There were a lot of times when he even took us to big events. We saw Disney on Ice and he once took us to an Ariana Grande concert when you were away. Plus, you would always come home with gifts for us. We even got a Paddington Bear from London and you got us a Mahjong set. Where is that Mahjong set? I really think we need to learn. Maybe get Grammy and Grandma to teach us one of these days. All right, question three. What's the biggest lesson you've learned from watching me balance work and family? Honestly, I think you just set a good example on how we would want to live our lives as adults and as moms. You know, I obviously want to have a job when I'm older, and I think that one, seeing you work has made me Want to work as an adult, which I think is a good example to have set. And I also think it just made us appreciate the times that we were together as a family. We knew that Monday through Friday was work and school. So that meant that weekends were always fun family time. And it made us more excited to get to do the cool things we did then, because we knew that we weren't the only ones going to school. You guys had work during the week and that was okay. I agree. I think while you guys could have been upset that you weren't always able to be with us, for us it became sort of a routine. We are also really lucky to have grandparents and other family members who live so close by who could always come to the things or watch our shows when the times you guys couldn't. And generally, our sitters were always fun, so it was nice to have a break from you guys, and be able to play with them, and learn from them, so we didn't really feel like we were missing out. Alright, so, final verdict? Did I Working Mom Guilty even matter? I mean, maybe to you, but definitely not as much as you thought. I mean, we clearly turned out mostly okay, right? Sure, you did. Alright, well thanks for listening to I Get It From My Mom. If you like this episode, please share it with moms and children who need to hear it. And don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss the next one. We'll be releasing new episodes each Tuesday. And please make sure to follow us on our social media so my mom can feel like she's cool. What are we on? Insta and TikTok, right? See you next time because no matter what we moms and daughters always have something to talk about. They clearly get it from me