A Love of Drinks and Denim

Mike Sandwich comes to town and a young boy saves the day. 

A tale of uprising, murder, and a healthy dose of alcohol for all. The fabric mines will never be the same after young Danny inspires the townspeople to be all they can be. Famous detective Mike Sandwich comes to the town of Foley. He’s in New York City to solve an unidentified crime… but will Mike take enough notes before he gets blackout drunk? And can his notes be understood even if he does?!  Listen to find out who survives their Love of Drinks… and Denim!

Host - Chuck Cotterman

Foley - Katlin Schneider

Ed Zak - Live Production

Shelby Burton - Opening Narrator, Shielah Ellington, Foreman Foreman

Eric Pedersen -  D. Livery, Erine the Miner 

Joe Hartenstine - Mike Sandwich 

Philip Amler - Paw Paul

Ben Vigeant -  Drunk Mr.Ellington, Jacob the Miner,

Peter Corey - Danny, Barry Simpson the Bartender 

Here's the extremely absurd AI summary for your mockery and enjoyment:

A coal town curls under a glittering ski resort, and the line between survival and spectacle gets razor thin. We kick off with audience prompts, a crackling live radio vibe, and a title you helped name—then drop into a story where denim, corduroy, and power are all louder than they look. Danny, a nine-year-old slated for the mines, wants the slopes instead; Paw Paul wants one day he doesn’t spend choking coal dust. Above them, Steve and Sheila Ellington toast their view from the lodge, right before a suspicious drink and a ski lift turn wealth into a headline.

Enter our legend with clay feet: Detective Mike Sandwich—famous, charming, and hilariously unhelpful—stumbles into a barroom duel with Sheila while cats, coffee, and vanity tighten the trap. Down below, the mine breathes like a beast: dead canaries, translucent skin, and veterans who fear daylight more than collapse. The tension splits into two climbs—one toward truth, the other toward power—as Danny sparks a strike that pulls the town uphill in every sense. When a body appears on the snow, inheritance law takes center stage, and the question shifts from “who did it” to “who gets to keep doing it.”

The chase that follows—broken glass, hawk calls, makeshift skis—careens into a reckoning underground, where the people who do the work finally dictate the ending. We fuse noir tropes, labor politics, and golden‑age sound to land a punchline with teeth: sometimes the hero doesn’t save the day because a town decides to save itself. Along the way, our faux ads for Crystal Mountain Corduroy swish with satire about heat, sweat, and the industries that sell both.

If you love improvised storytelling, old‑time radio textures, and comedies that bite, this one’s for you. Hit follow, share it with a friend who roots for underdogs, and leave us a review with your favorite moment—we’ll shout out the best ones next show.

Transcript

Curtain Up: Old-Time Radio Vibe

SPEAKER_12 0:00

Howdy Duty was arraigned on 16 charges, including impersonating a police officer. The trial is expected to begin in April. This is KIGAR Radio. Just pretend it's television with your eyes closed.

SPEAKER_07 0:33

Presented live to a studio audience. Staged and performed in the full style of a classic old-time radio broadcast. Today's show was recorded live, January 24th, 2026, at the I.O. Theater in Chicago. This week's episode features the debut of world-famous detective Mike Sandwich. Will he solve the mystery on time, or will the Queen of the Ski Slopes rule the town forever? Join us at the Bug House March 1st, where we will feature special guest Mike Roomleam and Thomas Kelly of the legendary improv team Sand. Enjoy the show.

SPEAKER_11 1:06

From Hollywood, it's time now for Good Health to all.

SPEAKER_05 1:29

Suspense.

SPEAKER_13 1:47

And now I'm gonna go ahead and just say hello to everyone out here tonight before we get started. Uh just a couple of questions, nothing too serious. I promise. Hello, how are you tonight? And your name?

unknown 1:58

Emma.

SPEAKER_13 1:59

Emma. Thank you for coming tonight. And Emma, let me ask you a question. What is the your favorite thing about the temperature outside yesterday today?

SPEAKER_00 2:08

Stay inside.

SPEAKER_13 2:09

Staying inside. And what do you do when you stay inside on a day like yesterday or day? Well, I'm seeing yesterday, but in general, I'm seeing your own needs right there by going skiing. Do you have anything in particular to drink that you really enjoyed? Okay, excellent. That felt like a fear question. Because what else do you drink when you ski? Um anyone else have any questions for Emma? No questions of the Where Whereabouts, sorry, whereabouts were you skiing? And uh the the name of the uh the ski report?

Joe 2:47

Crystal now.

SPEAKER_13 2:49

Everyone, round of applause for Emma. Thank you very much. My friend, your name, please. Uh Steve. Hey, Steve, how are you doing? Excellent. Now, Steve. Uh, I notice you have a drink in your hand. What is that drink? Uh this is Apex Predator. Apex Predator. And uh, what type of drink is Apex Predator? Uh so farmhouse ale. Farmhouse ale. These are very specific. I love it. Uh everyone, that's beer. Steve. Okay, we'll find out a little bit more about you. And now my last uh set of questions, your name, please.

SPEAKER_01 3:27

Hi, my name's Ellie.

SPEAKER_13 3:28

Hi, Ellie. Welcome to the advisable page for you. Uh Ellie, have you ever listened to any radio that is not musical?

SPEAKER_01 3:36

Yes, I have.

SPEAKER_13 3:37

What kind do you listen to for thumbies?

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Uh, I actually listen to a fair amount of OTR inspired radio fever.

SPEAKER_13 3:45

Excellent. And what inspires you about full-time radio?

SPEAKER_01 3:50

I am also a holy artist.

SPEAKER_13 3:56

You really got a slow spot on the table too. Caitlin, could you show off our new door? Oh. Holy door. Oh, what were you working with before? We were working with mostly slapping the tape. It weren't, it weren't, then we got the door so much better.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

It's very difficult.

SPEAKER_13 4:22

Absolutely. Um, other than what is your favorite industrial material?

SPEAKER_01 4:26

Oh well, yeah, don't make me choose. I left us with uh some sort of uh textile that we're all going to be wearing something like cornerboy or denim.

SPEAKER_13 4:35

Fabulous.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

Ellie, round of applause for Ellie.

SPEAKER_13 4:40

Now, whether you like it or not, uh folks will be a part of the show tonight because all that information hopefully will find its way into the episode. But we still need one last piece of information. For that, I turn to our cast. Cast, do you have a title for tonight's episode?

SPEAKER_07 4:55

I do. A Love for Drinks and Dead.

SPEAKER_13 5:04

Everyone, before we were looked into the Almighty screen, one king of communication working our way. Radio. Cast has improved with spending days playing out lots and re-rehearsing scripts ridiculously. We've done absolutely none of that. Tonight, the thrills, the chills, and the sounds. So lifelong and life loud enough for the lights to pick you up. It'll be hard in radio history. And now, tonight's episode we're on television radio flares.

SPEAKER_10 5:38

The sun was going down on this coal mining town, and everybody was getting nestled into bed. All the coal miners had left the mine. They'd taken off their denji denims and gotten into their flannels for the night. Paul had been working every ship this week, and he was mighty tired.

SPEAKER_02 6:04

Say, Paul, you look mighty tired.

Philip 6:07

Sure am. Sure am. Long day in the mines.

SPEAKER_02 6:12

Hey, Paul, well, can I just call you Dad?

Philip 6:16

Well, I am your Paul, but my name is Paul. So you can make of that what you will, son.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

Paul Paul? What is it? I know. Danny. I know I'm eight years old and I'm supposed to start in the mines tomorrow, but I was wondering, I don't know, maybe I could take up skiing instead, and I don't know, be in the Olympics. Danny, we've talked about this. Well, yeah, Paul.

SPEAKER_05 6:40

Do I need to rattle these here windowsills? No, be careful, Paul Paul. Rattle these shutters on the house to make it understand. Paul Pa, we just got that door installed. If you want this house to keep standing, you better go down in the mine, boy. Skidny and ain't gonna pay for wooden jumps. All right, Paul Paul. All right.

Philip 6:59

Well, time to go back to work.

SPEAKER_02 7:02

Well man, I hate working all three shit.

Philip 7:05

We talked all night, Danny.

SPEAKER_02 7:06

Yeah, well, I'm miss mom.

Philip 7:08

Well, better get out of this flannel.

SPEAKER_10 7:10

And he got out of his flannel and didn't have any time to wash those denims, put them back on, gave his son a hug, and walked out the door.

SPEAKER_02 7:20

Wait, I'm supposed to come with you, right?

Philip 7:22

Of course you are, son. I'm hugging you in case one of us doesn't come back.

SPEAKER_10 7:27

So hand in hand, they walked down the hill, and then up the hill.

SPEAKER_02 7:33

Why all the other men pointing and laughing at us, Paul?

Philip 7:36

Well, it's not usual for two miners to hold hands such as this, but seeing as we're kin, I think it's alright.

SPEAKER_16 7:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:46

I guess so. You know, I always thought there'd be something else for me, something better out there beyond the mountains. Just beyond them, but I guess this is where my life is.

SPEAKER_10 7:57

And Danny boy looked out into those beautiful mountains, and all the dreams in his head started swirling.

Philip 8:05

Danny!

Ski Lodge Power Games

SPEAKER_07 8:06

Danny, time to go on the mine! All right, all right, Paul. Stop your daydreaming. Meanwhile, at the top of those mountains, at the lodge of the ski house, several rich people of town, the coal mine owners, sat and looked down upon the peasants who made them wealthy.

SPEAKER_06 8:27

Ho ho ho ho! Oh, Sheila, my dear! Pass me more wine!

SPEAKER_10 8:38

Oh, of course, honey. I'll just go right on over here and get you a whole bottle. Do you want a cabernet or Savignon Blanc? Or what's you feeling like tonight?

SPEAKER_06 8:48

You know what? Mix them both together.

SPEAKER_10 8:51

Alright. You are such a drunk!

SPEAKER_06 8:56

Yes, I am!

SPEAKER_10 8:58

Oh. Um, well, after we have this drink, can we go up on the ski lift and go down? I've been waiting all day to try out my new skis.

SPEAKER_06 9:09

Well, only if we can survive those disgusting miners who I hate!

SPEAKER_10 9:17

Well, honey, if honey, I know you hate them, but they are the reason why we are able to be here tonight. So maybe we should be thankful for them.

SPEAKER_06 9:26

Yes, I'm thankful for the money that they create for me. I am thankful for the beautiful life that I deserve that I receive from their finding. Well, uh and that you receive as well. Don't forget that, ever.

SPEAKER_10 9:45

Yes, that's I won't forget it.

SPEAKER_06 9:47

Because of me.

SPEAKER_10 9:48

Yes, I understand. I understand where I sit in society.

SPEAKER_06 9:52

Very good, very good, very good. I don't have the wine yet! Oh, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_10 9:58

Here you go, darling. Here, a nice big glass of Savignon Blanc Cabernet. Mmm. Drink it down! Mmm.

SPEAKER_07 10:09

Despite her pre-assigned role in society, Sheila Ellington was much smarter than those around her, much wiser than her husband. And in fact, she sought control of the mine and town for herself.

SPEAKER_10 10:24

Take a step!

SPEAKER_06 10:28

This mix of two wines tastes delicious and slightly suspicious!

SPEAKER_10 10:34

Oh, there's there's nothing. It's just when you mix those two wines together, it tastes strange. But you asked for it, didn't you?

SPEAKER_06 10:41

Well, typically I do mix these two wines together. There's just a strange ping to them.

SPEAKER_10 10:48

Well, you know, um, you wouldn't uh have ever gotten through that fraternity if you didn't know how to drink one down in a gulf.

SPEAKER_06 10:56

That's a good point. I'll drink all of this right now.

SPEAKER_10 10:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 10:59

And down it went. Goop in one, two, goop, three, go, four, goop, five. It was a huge glass of wine.

SPEAKER_06 11:07

Go!

Enter Detective Mike Sandwich

Philip 11:08

Meanwhile, along the dusty road to the ski resort slash mining facility in a bumpy buggy, was driving a hard-boiled dick. He was a detective, alright? A man who knew his ass from a hole in the ground. And there was a big old hole in the ground. He was fixing to investigate. That mine. Some strange, troubling things had been going on at that mine. And Mike's sandwich was gonna get to the bottom of it.

SPEAKER_07 11:47

So, Mr. Sandwich, what are you doing in town?

Joe 11:50

Well, I'm here. I'm investigating because I heard something's going on in this mine. Barry, did you say Mike Sandwich?

SPEAKER_08 12:00

Well, yeah, this is Mike Sandwich. What are you doing over here?

SPEAKER_02 12:03

No, no, no, no, Barry. That's Mike Sandwich. Yeah? You know Mike's sandwich? No. The hard-nosed detective from New York City. He solved over 13 different crimes in the last 12 minutes.

SPEAKER_08 12:14

Barry, how do you know about Mike's sandwich?

SPEAKER_02 12:16

Everybody knows about Mike's sandwich. He's all over the news. Mike Sandwich, can I get your autograph?

Joe 12:20

Uh oh, well, of course you can, little type. What's the what's the name there?

SPEAKER_02 12:24

Well, I'm a 45-year-old man, but it's Barry Simpson.

Philip 12:27

Mike Sandwich couldn't read or write, but he knew how to solve a crime.

Joe 12:32

Let's uh just make a couple of marks here for yeah. You said Barry now? Yeah, you don't spell it with a clover though. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 12:41

No, that might be his special way.

SPEAKER_02 12:43

Sure, sure, sure. Well, thanks, Mr. Sandwich. I see you uh just drew a sandwich with your signature.

Joe 12:48

Yeah, that's right. Just like this here, sandwich.

SPEAKER_07 12:51

All right, now, Barry, get out of my car. You just jumped in my car. It's driving the. Come on!

Joe 12:55

All right, now, Mr.

SPEAKER_07 12:57

Sandwich, you want to go to the house.

Joe 12:58

That man looked like a boy. Mines must keep him well.

SPEAKER_07 13:01

He's got a young face there, Barry. He's one of the few that doesn't work in the mines.

Joe 13:05

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_07 13:06

He's the barkeep.

Joe 13:08

Oh. I'll be seeing him later.

Philip 13:11

Mike Sandwich was a lot of things, and a drunkard was one of them.

SPEAKER_07 13:17

Well, straight to the mines, Mr. Sandwich, or where would you like to go first?

Philip 13:20

Yes, to the mines.

SPEAKER_07 13:21

Alright. Alright. So what kind of strange things did you hear on your way on your way over? Let me just make a left up here. Yeah.

Joe 13:28

Okay. Well, I've heard lots of things about this here town of Foley, West Virginia. That's why I'm here to investigate. I've heard that there are odd sounds late at night.

SPEAKER_07 13:41

Oh, yeah. Unexplained sounds. You can't quite put your finger on the source of it.

SPEAKER_00 13:46

It sounds familiar. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 13:50

It was me honking, just honking at no one.

Philip 13:53

There was an unusual amount of traffic on the way to that mine this morning.

Joe 13:57

Busy, huh?

SPEAKER_07 13:58

Oh, foley at this time of day? Foley's busy as can be.

Joe 14:01

Oh, well, okay. That's I'll just write that down here. Busy.

SPEAKER_07 14:06

Uh the uh the big uh drawing a looks like you're drawing a Ruben, but oh, I should pay attention to the road instead of looking at what you're drawing.

SPEAKER_00 14:14

Okay, alright. Oh, you go!

SPEAKER_07 14:19

Oh yeah, I'm driving here.

Joe 14:22

Hey, that reminds me of New York City.

SPEAKER_07 14:26

I heard you're from there. It's trying to make you feel at home.

Joe 14:28

That's right, that is where we're gonna be. Alright, well, here we are at some strange animal sounds, you see. Have you heard those strange animal sounds?

SPEAKER_07 14:36

It's a sandwich everyone in Foley's heard the sounds you're talking about. It happens every night.

Joe 14:42

But I wonder, are they coming from the mine?

unknown 14:46

Woo!

SPEAKER_07 14:48

Well, that one was like seemed to be up from the hills. That's like a wolf kind of sound.

Joe 14:53

Yeah. Sounds like I got a lot of investment.

SPEAKER_07 14:58

Alright, well, I'll just be out here till you're done. You hired me for the wheelchair delivery, right?

Joe 15:04

Yeah, I I cannot drive. Not a lick.

SPEAKER_07 15:07

Fair, fair. I mean, you seem intoxicated.

Foreman’s Gate And First-Day Jitters

Philip 15:10

They talked in the car for several hours before getting out to investigate. But meanwhile.

SPEAKER_07 15:22

At the entrance of the mine, the foreman sat and awaited the next shift to arrive.

SPEAKER_15 15:32

Alright, everybody, sign in. Sign in.

SPEAKER_02 15:39

Signing in, signing in.

SPEAKER_15 15:41

Okay, and then come on over.

Philip 15:43

Sign your name, Danny. Sign your name.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Alright, Po Po. Hi, nice to meet you. I don't know if we're supposed to formally be uh introduced, but my name's Danny.

SPEAKER_15 15:51

Oh, huh. My name's Foreman.

SPEAKER_02 15:55

Is your is your full name for man, or is it just four man as a first name?

SPEAKER_15 15:59

My last name's Foreman. My first name is Foreman.

Philip 16:05

Danny, quit being so inquisitive.

SPEAKER_02 16:08

I don't know, Paul. I'm just trying to make it.

Philip 16:10

I think you're stalling. I think you're stalling so you don't have to get down there in the mine like your old man does every day.

SPEAKER_02 16:16

Well, I like the denim drop suit nice and clean like it is right now.

SPEAKER_15 16:20

Hey, you two stop arguing. The whistle's gonna blow in five minutes, and I need to pat y'all down. Here we go.

SPEAKER_02 16:28

Dad, if I go into the mine, will I sound like Mr. Foreman Foreman eventually? Will the Cole change mine? Vocal tones.

SPEAKER_09 16:36

No, he's from regular Virginia. That's all he sounds like.

SPEAKER_15 16:39

Yes, I'm from Richmond. That's what they sound like there.

Philip 16:44

Okay, listen. Danny, stop looking up at there at that ski resort. I see you looking. I know, and you better not sneak out during lunchtime to see what's going on up there.

SPEAKER_15 16:54

Wait a second, did you say ski resort? I forgot to tell you about this year's bonus. The person who comes up with the most coal is gonna get a free ticket to go scan the show. Wait, wait, Dad, Dad.

SPEAKER_02 17:09

Come over here to this corner in the coal mine. Listen, I've been thinking, why don't we, as the workers of this coal mine, rise up against them? And the reason is elevation. We can't get up that high by ourselves. We're stuck down here. But if one of us, if one of us could get up there, then we could kill the owners of the coal mine. Don't you understand? This mine echoes.

SPEAKER_15 17:32

I heard everything you said.

SPEAKER_08 17:34

Yeah, Paul, we all heard what your son said there. Danny, Danny, Danny.

Philip 17:39

If you think we haven't thought.

SPEAKER_02 17:42

Tell me I'm wrong.

Philip 17:43

If you think we haven't thought about going up and dare and killing those guys before. Oh, oh, you we've thought about it.

SPEAKER_02 17:50

So you haven't maybe somebody's up there killing for us.

SPEAKER_15 17:53

I tried to kill him and they kicked me in the throat. And that's what I sound like. Wait a second. Does everybody from Richmond get kicked in the throat?

SPEAKER_11 18:01

No, I used to sound like a beautiful man. And then I got kicked in the throat when I tried to murder the owner of this mine in his sleep by taking a knife and putting butter on it.

SPEAKER_09 18:15

I'm gonna be honest, I've never heard him speak before.

SPEAKER_02 18:20

That's why you gotta ask questions, Paul.

SPEAKER_15 18:22

Listen, I gotta pat y'all down. Everybody bend over.

Chuck Cotterman 18:32

Everyone, please, a round of applause for the first act of Love and Drinks and Denim. Now, everyone, please picture this. It's ten frigid degrees outside. Hard to imagine, I know. Now, here you are walking down the street, wind blowing, woolen mittens protecting your essential digits. But what about your legs? Are they chattering together, knees knocking under their formal cotton, thin pants that have your thighs exposed and have them have staying uh trouble staying upright? That's because, as you've probably figured out by now, you forgot your Crystal Mountain corduroy. The warmest, coziest, loudest pants you'll ever own. Announce your presence and your foresight with every stride down the street. The thick, sealed fabric will keep your body temp well above a healthy 102, while the sweat pouring down your calves will insulate you at a second level we call the liquid layer. It's a Crystal Mountain patented procedure, and that means no other pants can legally be this warm. Crystal Mountain Corduroy, the thickest ridged, so you won't get frigged. And now, Act 2 of Love and Drinks and Denim.

Philip 19:43

High up on the ski lift, way up high in the slopes. Steve and Sheila swung in the breeze with strange noises wafting over them.

SPEAKER_06 19:57

Sheila, my dear. Yes, it's so cold up here. It's cold, and I'm feeling faint, and there's three of you. And also the fourth. But the fourth one's normally there.

SPEAKER_10 20:08

You did mix a lot together.

SPEAKER_06 20:11

Just two, and you also added sonny, I think.

SPEAKER_10 20:15

Darling.

SPEAKER_06 20:16

Is this another assassin uh assassination attempt?

SPEAKER_10 20:20

What?

SPEAKER_06 20:21

Is that trying to kill an Aragon as an honor? Who is jealous of the incredible things that I've done?

SPEAKER_10 20:28

Darling, you're not making any sense.

SPEAKER_06 20:30

I I make plenty of sense, and dollars too.

SPEAKER_10 20:36

Oh, look over there. There's a bunny rabbit jumping in the snow.

SPEAKER_06 20:40

I was don't see a bunny rabbit. Let me lean.

SPEAKER_10 20:44

Let me lean.

Philip 20:45

He leaned over the side of the ski lift. And Sheila reached over. Let me lean even more.

SPEAKER_06 20:52

Precipitously on the edge.

SPEAKER_10 20:55

Oh, darling, it seems like you're choking. I might need to hit you on the back. One. Oh! Two! Oh!

SPEAKER_05 21:06

Oh, didn't give me that joke! Steve went flying out of the front of the ski lift, hurtling down towards the ground. He had just enough time to say one last word.

SPEAKER_06 21:19

I earned everything a copy here.

Philip 21:24

And then he was splatted upon the slopes.

SPEAKER_10 21:29

This empire is now mine.

Joe 21:35

Danny ventured further and further into the mine.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

Passing other miners as he went. Hey, nice to meet you. What's your name?

SPEAKER_07 21:46

Uh, my name's Jacoby. Why are you so happy?

SPEAKER_02 21:50

Yeah, I don't know. It's my first day in the mine, mister. You ever noticed that my accent kind of changed the more I get into the mine?

SPEAKER_07 21:58

It happens to everyone. I sound like a Frenchman outside.

SPEAKER_02 22:03

Hey, I used to talk normal too. Hey, I gotta ask you guys just real quick, what do you think about I don't know? You've been working here for years and years and years.

Joe 22:16

Jacoby and Ernie had seen everything in these mines. That's why their eyes were so large. Here in the dark of the mine.

SPEAKER_07 22:28

I haven't left the mines in years. You should really go up topside, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 22:33

I'm afraid of light! I'm like those fish that don't have eyes anymore.

SPEAKER_08 22:40

Ernie was a few.

SPEAKER_02 22:44

Little boy, have you seen those fish? Of course I haven't. I have an eye encyclopedia. Well, just the Fs, but I know what a fish is, sure.

Joe 22:51

In the light of his miners' cap, Danny could see that Ernie's skin was translucent. He could see his veins standing out.

SPEAKER_02 23:00

Hey, mister, you got a lot of black in your veins.

SPEAKER_07 23:02

Yeah. It's because I don't leave the mines. It's in my blood and Ernie's too.

SPEAKER_02 23:09

Sorry to say this. Oh, what's going on with that canary over there?

SPEAKER_07 23:12

That's my canary.

SPEAKER_02 23:15

Oh no!

SPEAKER_07 23:16

Yeah. I get a new one every day.

SPEAKER_02 23:19

No, no, no, we should go topside. That's not a good sign. Look at it! No, I'm sorry, I can't do it. I can't be in the mines. I don't care how much coal is in down here and how easy it is to collect. You can just pull it off the walls. Look at this. I'm going back up. It's quitting time. Oh, I'm not doing it just because the shift's over. Okay, I was gonna quit, even if the shift wasn't over. Goodbye, Louis.

SPEAKER_15 23:41

Man's doors are gonna close in 30 seconds. Quitten down. Mr.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

Foreman, I quit. And you can have my denim jumpsuit!

SPEAKER_15 23:53

Oh why are you quitting on us?

Strike Sparks And A Plan Forms

SPEAKER_02 23:56

Because I don't belong down here. Nobody does. In fact, I think that most of this operation could be automated. Like 98% of it if you got the right machinery. And I think, well, I I don't know, I miss my accent, you know? I miss being from the south. I must be in from West Virginia, you know? And I I think more than anything, I'm sick and tired of whoever's up there at the top being at the top. And if I have to climb a mountain to get up there, I'm gonna climb a mountain. And I'm gonna start right now, and I'm gonna if I just follow the tram line, I should just get right up to the ski lodge.

SPEAKER_15 24:31

You know what? You're inspiring. You need a Mr. Foreman for me? Yeah. You know what? I've been working this job for a long time. I quit too! I'm quit! Yeah! Right now!

SPEAKER_05 24:43

Hey, Quentin! I'm gonna quit too!

SPEAKER_02 24:46

Hey, oh yeah, you quit with the quit! Yeah, yeah! Hey, Paul! Hey! I'm doing a strike! I'm doing a strike on my first day on the job!

Philip 24:54

Oh, Danny, no! Danny!

SPEAKER_15 24:58

Come on, Paul! You can do it! We all wanna go up to the top of the mountain and go on strike! Paul! Don't do it! Don't be the only wet blanket!

Philip 25:10

Alright, Danny! Alright, I'll follow you. I'll take off this denim, too!

SPEAKER_02 25:18

Oh yeah, you still have your flannels on. Oh!

SPEAKER_09 25:20

No wonder it's so hot down there.

SPEAKER_07 25:21

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mike Sandwich returned to his car. After having been lost in all of the revolutionary talk, no one noticed that the detective had been taking notes the whole time.

Joe 25:35

I tell you what, delivery man, this is fascinating. Just fascinating stuff going on here.

SPEAKER_07 25:43

Where could I okay? I don't know what you're talking about.

Joe 25:46

Well, uh look here, you see, uh, uh, they've decided they're gonna strike. Uh, the mine is gonna be left empty. Uh, this is perfect for my investigating, you see.

SPEAKER_07 25:58

Hey, it try forget about it.

Joe 26:03

Yeah, the game is. That's good, that's good. That is how it sounds like.

Barroom Chess: Sheila Vs. Sandwich

SPEAKER_06 26:08

Alright, well, where to next? Uh Mr. Sandwich, would would you like another delicious farmhouse hail? Why, yes, I would. Just stay here in the warm confines of the bar. Don't investigate anything. Just have another delicious brown ale.

Joe 26:31

Oh, it looks so cold. So refreshing.

SPEAKER_06 26:34

Yes, everything's cold here. But this is also cold. Stay here, Mr. Sandwich.

SPEAKER_07 26:43

I just might Detective Sandwich, are you okay?

Joe 26:49

Huh? What what? Oh, uh, I I was just thinking about getting blind drunk.

SPEAKER_07 26:56

Oh, sure. Would you like me to drive you to the bar?

Joe 27:00

Yes, I uh I think they have a drink there waiting for me.

SPEAKER_07 27:05

Sure, right. Well, let's just make a ride up here and just head on out. Uh shouldn't be too much traffic this time of day. Mr.

SPEAKER_06 27:12

Sandwich, I'm speaking to you. In the wind.

SPEAKER_07 27:16

What?

SPEAKER_06 27:16

What have another delicious?

Joe 27:20

Another one. That's right. Alright. I'm speaking to you. Ah, now I have two. One in each hand. Who are you talking to, Mr. Sandwich? What's that?

SPEAKER_06 27:30

Who are you talking to? Don't let him know about me, Mr. Sandwich. Oh, uh.

SPEAKER_07 27:37

Just say Well, uh, are you hearing the sounds of Foley, Virginia? Mountain Virginia.

Joe 27:46

I was I was just going into my head in in my investigative woes. Oh, sure, alright. Well, here we are pulling up to the bar now. Oh, okay, yes.

SPEAKER_07 27:56

I'll be waiting for you, man. Thank you, thank you.

Joe 27:58

Uh I'll just wait outside as long as you'd like. Okay. I appreciate it, delivery, man. You're you're you're a good man. You'll get to New York yet.

SPEAKER_07 28:08

Alright, thanks, my thank you, Detective Sandwich.

Joe 28:11

Alright. Just pull over these notes here.

SPEAKER_10 28:15

Uh, bartender, uh, uh Oh, you don't need to talk to the bartender. Oh. I can just order for you. Oh. Pleasure to make your acquaintance. My name's Sheila.

unknown 28:27

Well.

SPEAKER_10 28:27

Sheila Ellington.

Joe 28:29

I appreciate that, Sheila. I'm Mike's sandwich. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:34

Uh, yeah, that's Mike's sandwich. Wow, Mike, you finally came to my bar. I can't believe it.

SPEAKER_10 28:39

Barry, make him whatever he wants. It's on the house.

SPEAKER_02 28:41

Sounds good, Miss Ellington. Hey, hey, where's uh Mr. Ellington? He's usually in by now.

SPEAKER_10 28:46

Oh, he's um out getting hot chocolate for the cats.

SPEAKER_16 28:50

Uh he's so good to those cats of yours.

SPEAKER_10 28:53

He is. Our cats love hot chocolate.

SPEAKER_16 28:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 28:58

Yes.

Joe 28:59

Oh. Uh you know it's dangerous to have animals around here, huh? Have they ever been in any disturbances?

SPEAKER_10 29:10

No, that's my angry cat.

Body On The Mountain

SPEAKER_06 29:13

Something started to stir in Detective Sandwich's mind. Something was off about Sheila. And Sheila herself was eyeing the detective. She knew he was a threat.

SPEAKER_10 29:28

So we have all sorts of wines here. What kind of wine would you like? We have Cabernet, we have Sauvignon Blanc, we even have Merlot, we have a Kiate.

Joe 29:40

Oh, that can be chilled. Yes, uh.

SPEAKER_10 29:43

We also have one beer.

Joe 29:47

I I don't suppose it's a farmhouse ale.

SPEAKER_10 29:51

It is. It's named after me. Apex predator.

Joe 29:57

Well, I'll have to. Would you like to try it? I think so, yes.

SPEAKER_10 30:01

Alright, Barry, an Apex Predator for him.

Joe 30:05

Sounds delicious.

SPEAKER_10 30:06

Barry will make it right up for you. Put it in a nice cold glass and stir it, apparently.

Joe 30:14

Thank you, I do like my beer stirred thoroughly. So do I.

SPEAKER_10 30:18

I don't like that froth at the top. That's right.

Joe 30:21

Bothersome. Get it all right in me right away. Yes.

SPEAKER_07 30:25

As the detective and Mrs. Ellington continued to flirt at the base of the mountain bar. The miners climbed up the mountain, angrily, seeking revenge.

SPEAKER_02 30:37

Tell us what to do, Danny! Tell us what to do. With every step I take, I can feel my accent coming back. This fine, rarefied air here at the top, this is what it's all about, everyone.

SPEAKER_07 30:49

The wind blowing in their faces. A dozen grown men led by a nine-year-old.

The Miners Choose Revolt

SPEAKER_02 30:54

Well, I I have to say, everyone, I think I think as we're trudging along right underneath under these cables, I'm getting a sentence of something. A whiff of freshness. A wish of Well, that's not a whiff of freshness at all. I'm I'm hearing something. Something that says, stop climbing. Have a beer. Well, that's that's odd. It's just the whispers in the wind. Like a No, it's very specific. Danny, I I think I need to go to a bar and get blind drunk. Wait, wait, Pop-ho, Pop-He. Pop-ho, right up here. Look, look, look, look at it. There's boots in the snow. Wait, those aren't just boots. Those are ankles in the snow. Wait, those aren't just ankles. Those are knees attached to them ankles. Wait a second. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06 31:44

Stop paying attention to the body. Have a beer. Don't oh wait. I didn't mean body. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 31:51

Oh, the wind slipped up. It said something about a body. Wait, wait.

SPEAKER_06 31:54

Oh, I didn't. Whoops. I I I made a mistake.

SPEAKER_02 31:57

Paw Paul, don't listen to the spirit spirits for one second. Listen to Mr. Foreman Foreman. There's a dead body right here. Wait a second. I looked at it and I touched its face. It's dead. He looks just like why the man on the poster. The man on the poster who pays us our checks. Our checks.

Philip 32:16

He puts his face on the checks.

SPEAKER_02 32:18

Well, that's Steve Ellington, if I'd ever seen it before. Mr.

SPEAKER_08 32:21

Foreman, isn't that the man that kicked you in the throat and made your voice like that?

SPEAKER_15 32:25

I'm not sure. Let me look at the bottom of his brown boots. If it has an emblem of a horseshoe, just like the one that's on my trachea, then that's him.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

Let's take a look.

SPEAKER_08 32:38

It's impossible he would have changed shoes on the ski lift.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

No, no. Everybody's just got one pair of brown boots. One pair of brown boots.

SPEAKER_15 32:45

That's what everyone's got. Let's take a look. Hold on, you gotta lift off off that snow.

SPEAKER_07 32:51

It's a horseshoe.

SPEAKER_15 32:52

It is a horseshoe. That's him.

SPEAKER_07 32:56

I don't know why acting surprised. We pretty much knew that.

SPEAKER_02 32:58

Wait a second, wait a second. Now if he's dead, then who owns the mine?

SPEAKER_07 33:03

Well I guess his firstborn?

SPEAKER_02 33:06

Yeah, could be. Well, they never had any children, as far as I understand. They only had cats. Wait a second. His wife. Wouldn't she have it? The rights to the mine? Wouldn't the mine be mine if she w if I was talking like her?

SPEAKER_08 33:18

Boy, this little boy sure knows a lot about inheritance law.

SPEAKER_02 33:21

I have a I have an encyclopedia that's for only F, but that's included. Danny.

Philip 33:27

Danny, I don't know. I mean, we came all this way. We were gonna kill this man. He's already dead. Maybe we just go back down to the mine and forget this ever happened.

SPEAKER_06 33:37

That's a good idea. Have a beer. Forget it all.

SPEAKER_02 33:40

That's your alcoholism talking.

SPEAKER_15 33:42

Wait a second. I wanna be the voice of reason.

SPEAKER_11 33:45

Sometimes, when one person dies in power, the next person is just as awful. If not worse.

SPEAKER_02 33:55

That's right. We got you can't just cut off the head off a Hydra. Yeah, to stab it through the heart.

Philip 34:01

That's right. I knew I shouldn't have bought you that encyclopedia, boy.

SPEAKER_02 34:06

Well, you were the one who got me the ancient hydro.

Ad Interlude: Swish Of Success

Chuck Cotterman 34:19

Act three and the thrilling conclusion will be back in just a moment. But first, swish, swish, swish, swish. What's that sound? That's the sound of success. Every other pair of pants, despite the best efforts of the textile industry, is nearly silent. Can you believe that? Swish, swish, swish, and no other pants. Keep your lower half at a temperature that four out of five doctors call medically borderline, heating your blood and fueling your 10 to 14 hours in the steam factory. Swish, swish, swish. And all while the patented liquid layer drains needless excess hydration that only keeps the body cold. Whether it's at home for the holidays or in the lodge at the ski house, everyone will notice and appreciate the heat radiating from your body and the sweat pulling in your socks. Crystal Mountain Corduroy, they're half an inch thick, and they will do the trick. And now, Act 3 and the thrilling conclusion of Love F Drinks and Denim.

Cats, Coffee, And A Trap

SPEAKER_02 35:13

Back at the bar, the flirting only continued. It was palpable. The cat's gussing up next to the ankles of both Sheila and Mike's sandwich.

SPEAKER_10 35:26

Mike! Oh my goodness. Those arms are so robust. Don't you want to take off that dinner jacket?

Joe 35:35

Uh, you know, uh, I have been feeling a little constrained around here.

SPEAKER_10 35:39

I Corduroy is not breathable.

Joe 35:45

Well, you too, Miss Kitty.

SPEAKER_10 35:47

Looks like my kitty is really into you.

SPEAKER_02 35:51

Mike was getting looser. He could feel himself getting looser. He didn't love himself like this.

Joe 35:56

You know, it's not breathable, but it is so movable, this corduroy.

SPEAKER_10 36:02

Why don't you just lay over there on that Che's lounge and I'll get you a little more of whatever you'd like? What kind of drink would you like? Danny'll whip it right up for you.

Joe 36:12

You just had the the one beer, huh?

SPEAKER_10 36:14

I only have the one beer.

Joe 36:16

Well, what about uh coffee?

Philip 36:21

Mike's head was swimming. Oh he was feeling weak. And that chaise was looking finer and finer. He plopped down onto it as the kittens all swarmed him.

SPEAKER_10 36:33

And I'll get you that coffee. Six o'clock coffee. For one, Danny, make it up for him. Let me get into something a little more comfortable. Okay. I'm gonna take off my fur coat.

SPEAKER_07 36:50

Meanwhile, outside on the mountain, the same miners led by a nine-year-old boy that had climbed up the mountain, were barreling down it.

SPEAKER_02 37:00

We made it. We made it.

SPEAKER_15 37:02

We made it all the way to the top of Crystal Mountain. Now we just gotta get in that bar and kill that woman.

Window Break And The Chase

SPEAKER_02 37:10

Well, I I I think I I didn't really think the killing part through. Is it a stabbing kind of situation? No. We do all have pickaxes. I guess that's to our to our benefit.

Philip 37:20

Oh, I left mine at the bottom of the hill.

SPEAKER_02 37:22

I knew you would, Paul. So I brought you a mini one. You think of everything. I know. You told me to be not precocious, but I think it's actually saved the day a little bit, huh?

SPEAKER_07 37:31

What about me? Delivery, the driver. You got a pickaxe for me? I'd like to. Who are you?

SPEAKER_05 37:37

Who are you exactly?

SPEAKER_07 37:38

I've been driving Mike Sandwich around all day.

Philip 37:41

Who's Mike Sandwich? He's a famous detective! He's a famous detective, Dad.

SPEAKER_02 37:45

I never heard of him. Of course not. We live a very sheltered life in a small town in West Virginia.

SPEAKER_07 37:50

How have you, a nine-year-old boy, heard of Mike Sandwich?

SPEAKER_02 37:54

Well, he has a comic book series. I don't know if you knew that. Oh. Yeah, it's the wraparound sandwiches, and then you unfold it and it becomes a comic book.

SPEAKER_15 38:01

Listen, we don't have time for this. We have to figure out how to kill Sheila. I think we should crawl through the window.

SPEAKER_08 38:08

Sounds good to me.

Philip 38:11

They crept up to the bar, looking through the window, peering in, seeing a very strange sight. A man laying on a chaise covered in cats, being served coffee by a barman.

SPEAKER_02 38:23

Well, then cover that in the encyclopedia.

SPEAKER_15 38:28

What's she doing over there? She just in a little neglo jay.

Philip 38:34

Mike could hear the voice on the wind through the cats.

Joe 38:39

Oh boys. It's not thick with cats here.

SPEAKER_06 38:43

Let the cats let us swarm him. Let us embrace him.

unknown 38:50

Ow!

SPEAKER_06 38:51

Go back to the top of the mountain or under it. Go away. Danny, what should we do?

SPEAKER_02 38:59

I don't know. Let's pound on the window to begin with. Mr. Samwitch! Mr. Samwitch, you need to get out of that bar! She's not safe!

SPEAKER_10 39:07

What's that sound at the window? Mr.

unknown 39:10

Samwitch!

SPEAKER_10 39:11

Let me rub this frost off the window.

SPEAKER_06 39:15

Detective Sandwich, stay here. Stay on the chain's. Ow!

Joe 39:21

Oh!

Hawks, Skis, And A Fall Into The Mine

SPEAKER_02 39:23

Oh my god! That's her! That's a sheela! It is? Oh, these windows won't open. Try the front door. I have a better idea.

Joe 39:31

Alright.

SPEAKER_02 39:32

Let's use a pickaxe and just cut open the window. Yeah, smash it in. Mr. Sandwich! Mr. Sandwich, get away from him! No, no! Just like in issue 246! You're allergic to cats! Don't you remember, Detective Sandwich? Boy! You!

Joe 39:50

You don't inquisitive boy! I'm not gonna die! Son! Son! I don't have much time left! Mr. Sandwich, you're going to have to take over my investigation! But here! It's oh in my notes!

SPEAKER_02 40:10

Oh my god. He can't read or write. Wow, this is gonna be hard to decipher. This is so he drew a beer and a cat and then drew some skis.

SPEAKER_06 40:22

She's getting away!

SPEAKER_02 40:23

Oh no!

SPEAKER_06 40:24

Sheila was watching them as they stared at the notes and hightailed it out.

SPEAKER_10 40:30

You'll never catch me! I'm Sheila, the Black Diamond Expert. Here I go!

SPEAKER_06 40:38

There was still more mountain down, and she started to speed further and further down.

SPEAKER_02 40:45

What are we gonna do?

SPEAKER_06 40:46

Danny, it's up to you.

Philip 40:48

You've gotta ski after her, boy.

SPEAKER_02 40:50

Well, I've never skied before in my life.

Philip 40:52

She was getting more distance.

SPEAKER_02 40:55

Boy, I sure do miss Detective Sandwich. He was like the father I never Well, I'll gonna ski down this mountain, Dad.

SPEAKER_10 41:02

Go, boy, go! And Danny put on two planks of wood on his feet. Got two sticks as his poles and started going down the mountain. Oh wow, this is actually pretty easy when you're elastic and eight years old. You'll never catch me. I'm faster than anybody on these skis. Well, boy.

SPEAKER_02 41:26

Well, there's one thing I know West Virginia, fully West Virginia, is if you make the right sound, the right apex predator will come.

SPEAKER_07 41:37

At that moment, several hawks came down, interrupting Sheila's clear path to the safety.

SPEAKER_05 41:43

Ow, God, ow!

Rough Justice Underground

SPEAKER_07 41:44

Ruining her hair.

SPEAKER_10 41:46

Ow!

SPEAKER_07 41:46

Three of them picked her up simultaneously by the shoulders.

SPEAKER_10 41:50

No, let me go! Let me go!

SPEAKER_07 41:52

He found lift as they dropped her, and she flew down the hill further directly into the mine.

SPEAKER_10 42:03

Oh god! My negligents ripped in half!

SPEAKER_16 42:08

What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine.

SPEAKER_10 42:15

Hey! Welcome to the mine!

SPEAKER_00 42:18

What are you?

SPEAKER_10 42:23

I think.

SPEAKER_02 42:24

It's a sweet revenge for us!

SPEAKER_07 42:27

You probably have a hard time seeing down here in the dark.

SPEAKER_10 42:32

I do. I can't see a thing. And my glasses broke, and also I don't have any clothes on.

SPEAKER_07 42:40

Well, that part has long been uninteresting to me.

SPEAKER_05 42:45

I will be attracted to rocks. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 42:50

We love the rocks. Look at our rock wives in the corner.

SPEAKER_00 42:55

We have a beautiful rock wife.

SPEAKER_07 42:59

You can't take us from our rock wives.

SPEAKER_11 43:01

What are you trying to tell us? You can't take us from our rock wives. Get away from Silica! And Jacob!

SPEAKER_07 43:09

And Ernie smashed her head in with their various parts of their own wives. And Sheila died in the mine.

A Cooperative Is Born

SPEAKER_10 43:17

Oh my god! Silica! I didn't know you had that in you! By this time, all the miners had made it down from Crystal Mountain. And Danny was standing there triumphantly.

SPEAKER_02 43:32

Well, I guess that's it then. I guess the mine's all of ours. It's cooperative now.

SPEAKER_07 43:40

Wow. You started a communist revolution, son.

SPEAKER_02 43:44

In the middle of West Virginia, no doubt. I'm sure the government won't squelch this within a matter of weeks.

Philip 43:49

Danny, I'm proud of you, boy.

SPEAKER_02 43:52

Really, Paw Paw?

Philip 43:54

Yeah, really. Now I'd say that's a good day's shift. Let's go on home and Take this denim off. Oh, back in the mind. Oh well, you gotta work, you gotta work.

Bows, Credits, And Plugs

Chuck Cotterman 44:17

Heck yeah. Now everybody. Crystal Mountain Corduroy is not breathable. And that's the way we like it. Hermetically sealed against all environments. The extra thick ridges on Crystal Mountain Corduroy have a surface area of over 2.5 miles for every pair of pants. Be sure to ask your family doctor if your heart is strong enough for Crystal Mountain Corduroy. Proud sponsor of Mike Sandwich Adventures and its companion series, Mike Sandwich's Quick Bites. Everybody, thank you for coming out for the Improvised Golden Age Radio here at Iowa Theater. This is again.

SPEAKER_07 44:47

Well, that was fun, and our hero Mike Sandwich didn't do a damn thing. The opening narrator, Sheila Ellington and Foreman Foreman, were played by Shelby Burton. Delivery Driver, Ernie the Minor were played by Eric Peterson. Mike Sandwich was played by Joe Hartenstein. Paw Paul was played by Philip Amler. Drunk Mr. Ellington and Jacob the Minor were played by Ben Vegent. And Danny and Barry Simpson the bartender were played by Peter Corey. Check out ImprovisedRadio.com for more dates and showtimes and follow us at Improvised Radio Show on Instagram. Thank you very much, and we can't wait till you hear us next time.