#44 - The Woodford Reserve (double oaked) Reckoning

In this episode, Tim hosts Joseph and Eric for a relaxed and often hilarious chat over Woodford Reserve Double Oaked whiskey. The trio kicks off by toasting Gene, a family member now in hospice, and then spiral into jokes about podcast intros, YouTube culture, and “smacking the like button.” Eric shares his success running Goblin Con, a local paranormal convention, and the group reminisces about growing up together in Fairview — from childhood pranks to church youth groups and haunted houses. Joseph tells a disastrous haunted hayride story that launches a rant about how Halloween has lost its edge, turning into a broader discussion about nostalgia, parenting, and small-town culture. The hosts also touch on personal topics like family loss, old friends, and funny (sometimes inappropriate) memories from their youth, all while maintaining the raw, unfiltered tone that defines The Fairview Social Podcast.

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Transcript

Tim 0:23

Audience, welcome to the Fairview Social Podcast. I am your host, Tim. Please visit my website at www.thefairview social podcast.com. Also, visit my social media on all social media platforms. What do you guys think about that?

Joseph 0:43

Well, before we go any further, on behalf of Mike, I have to say Daniel's a bitch.

Tim 0:48

All right. I guess we're gonna keep rolling with that.

Joseph 0:51

I I I asked Mike and I had a conversation this afternoon. I was like, should I start it off by still saying that Daniel's a bitch? And he said to do it in his name. So I did it in his name. All right. Well, that's fair enough.

Eric 1:01

I have to say, this is the third time I've been here, and every time I get I come over, it's fancier and fucking fancier. Now you got a website and shit. Well, I've had that. Fancier microphones.

Joseph 1:10

Well, for a second he looked at you and I thought he was getting ready to shout out your website, and then he didn't. I know.

Tim 1:14

The only thing that's that's different since the last time you came is is I bought two more of these booms. Well, it's the small things.

Joseph 1:21

They just kind of add up.

Eric 1:22

I didn't I didn't hear you say anything about the website last time.

Tim 1:24

So huh? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm trying I was just thinking on the I was thinking on the way home. I was thinking on the way home from work. I was like, do you need to promote this a little bit? Should I like, share, and subscribe? Yeah, like like, share, and subscribe to all the things. Well, I'm listening. Apparently that doesn't work out for the Fairview Social Podcast. So we'll just keep on rolling.

Eric 1:44

No, you gotta say catchy shit like smack that bell like it owes you fucking money or something. That's what all those popular YouTubers say. Yeah, hit the smack that bell.

Joseph 1:52

Watching the wrong YouTube video.

Eric 1:53

No, like Mr. Ballin. You watch Mr. Ballin.

Joseph 1:55

I don't watch Mr. Ballin.

Eric 1:56

You ever watch Mr. Ballin?

Joseph 1:57

I have not. I've watched a show on Amazon. That was entertaining.

Eric 1:59

He comes up with some catchy shit every time for you to hit the bell. They're like smash that like button. Yeah, oh no. Like it fucked your mama last night.

Joseph 2:07

Yeah, I do love the no, you're right. I do love the smash. I don't know what I was thinking, but yes, you're right. He he he abuses the like button.

Tim 2:14

Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess do I need to start saying things like that? Is that gonna hey it works for that? I don't like that. Does it make me cool like the kids? I mean, I mean, that would kind of be ripping off John Bollin, but well, I'm sure that like out of the millions of podcasts and YouTubers, there's probably a bunch of them that say shit like that. Yeah.

Eric 2:33

I think one time I tried to post on Facebook something about punch that button in the face and it wouldn't let me post it because it was violence or something because these are community standards.

Joseph 2:43

Fuck.

Tim 2:43

Yeah, that's a that's dumb. Okay. Well, so here we are. It's uh fall time here in the city. Here's my um, I guess my update on Gene, which I have some uh a drink here. We're gonna raise a glass to Gene. Joseph was thinking that uh I was going to say just for the record, it wasn't just me.

Joseph 3:06

When I was leaving the house, Caitlin said, Is Tim gonna tell you that Gene is dead?

Tim 3:11

So we have this running thing where, you know, hey, don't call when someone dies, just text me, and then take it a step further. I'm just gonna tell you when you come on the podcast. So if you don't visit the podcast for like a month, then you'll find out a month later that Gene has died. So we're on high alert right now. Gene has entered hospice care as of today, and he's declining pretty rapidly. So for those of you that are listening, we're not trying to make light of hospice and people dying, but he is 93. Right. It's bound to happen.

Joseph 3:43

And we are heartless.

Eric 3:44

We well he's also he's also been waiting to die since he moved in with you.

Joseph 3:49

That is true. Yeah, no, and then he incarcerated him.

Tim 3:52

Right. I know he said we incarcerated him, him at the assisted living. So we're gonna have a little drink to Gene today. To Gene. To Gene. To Gene. And we'll have another one when he dies.

Joseph 4:04

I'm not waiting until he dies to have another drink. Oh, that's smooth. That's smooth. You know why it's smooth?

Tim 4:08

Woodford reserve. It's Woodford Reserve, but it's double oaked.

Joseph 4:12

I haven't had whiskey in a long time.

Tim 4:14

That's not that's the high dollar bottle, there, boys. All right, so it's been uh it's been a minute since you've been here, Eric, but Joseph was here recently, and I thought it'd be good to get both of you guys on here so we can hash out our differences and just gonna go straight into it. That Joseph, why do you not want to hang out with Eric? What I don't know. This isn't too sad, dad. You can't just instigate shit.

Joseph 4:39

This is trying to do that. I was trying to create some drama here.

Eric 4:44

It was news to both of us. All right, never mind.

Joseph 4:47

It's funny, he's like, I figure I'd get you both here, it'd be nice. And I told Roger and Tim, I was like, one day I'm just gonna show up at your house and be like, hey, we're going to podcast. No warning, no nothing. Just show up. And then I didn't have to.

Tim 4:59

Oh, yeah, he was gonna do that, and then I just invited you both. I was like, that's a good idea. Eric and Joseph on here would be fun. We all have history together, so those of you that don't know, Joseph is my brother. I believe he still is at this point.

Joseph 5:13

I think so. I don't think they changed.

Tim 5:14

You're only when Gene dies, you're only two fucking Holluses left.

Eric 5:17

I know.

Tim 5:17

I mean, we have children other than our spawn.

Eric 5:20

Well, I'm I mean the original Holluses.

Tim 5:23

The OG Holluses. And so, and Eric has been a lifelong friend. We actually all lived down the road from each other growing up, so that was that was always interesting to say the least. So, yeah, there's that.

Eric 5:37

I saw um Anna Easterling. Well, she's not Easterling anymore, but I saw her the other night at the plaza. I've seen her in a long time. Yeah, I haven't seen her in a while either.

Joseph 5:44

I remember when I saw Melinda and Luke at Nathan's funeral, I was like, oh, these two people. I forgot about them.

Tim 5:49

Yeah, that's true. Well, Anna was always the coolest one, she still is. So yeah. So Eric, you've been you're hot off the the goblink goblin con train here. How did all that go?

Eric 6:00

Good. Really well. Uh better than I'd had planned. Um my kind of measuring uh success was if we it would be hugely successful if we sold 500 tickets. Yeah. Excuse me. Well, we sold 700 something tickets and had over 800 people there. Damn, that's a lot. How many some people got some free? Well, there's some free. Well, no, we counted those tickets, but 12 and under were free, and we didn't count the kids. So with the kids in there, it was 800 or more.

Tim 6:28

So yeah, that's cool.

Eric 6:30

Yeah, the the event went well. Oh, it went great. Yeah. For two days as well. And so it was pretty crazy. But so the whole event was two days. Yeah.

Joseph 6:38

I just know that he that that Roger disappeared from work for a while. Yeah. So I didn't know how long the actual Goblin Con was.

Eric 6:44

Well, we had VIP events too. So at the nighthouse on the Thursday night, the the Goblin Con itself was only Friday, Saturday, but Thursday night we did a VIP dinner that was uh for all the VIP guests to meet and greet the speakers and get autographs and all that shit. And um then Saturday night we had a VIP ghost hunt at the nighthouse. So but we were up there from Wednesday to Sunday getting ready for everything and and all that. So how did the ghost hunt go? Good, really good. Everybody had a good time. We had we had a couple who bought VIP tickets that came from Hamburg, Germany, just for Goblin Con. Really? Uh we had a guy that drove 11 hours from Virginia with people from Oklahoma, I mean, all over.

Joseph 7:23

Are goblins a big thing in Germany?

Eric 7:26

Well, the lady said she had when she was a kid or a teenager, she had come across the Hobbinsville Goblin story because it happened in 1955, and it just fascinated her. And so when she saw, somehow she saw on Facebook that there's gonna be a goblin con. And her and her husband came over just for that.

Tim 7:41

That's cool. Yeah. They did they fly back immediately after? Do you think they went around and visited Nashville?

Eric 7:47

I know they went around Hopkinsville. I don't know if they were made it to Nashville, but I think they were flying out like Monday. I mean, who the fuck flies in from Germany to go to Hopkinsville, Kentucky?

Joseph 7:55

These people did man, America's awesome. No, it's fucking Hopkinsville. And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with Hopkinsville, it's just it's yeah, there's nothing Hopkinsville.

Tim 8:07

Yeah. That's true. All right. Well, I also saw for you, Eric, that you're starting up the podcast again. Yeah. First episode comes out, what, November 14th-ish? I think it was 12th. 12th. What do you mean you think? You gotta know when your shit's coming out.

Joseph 8:20

I'm like in the whatever that fucking Wednesday is. I'm like with two professional podcasters. I'm just the fat guy on the corner.

Tim 8:26

I don't know. I think that our 14 fans would think that that would say that they're a fan of you, which I don't know why.

Joseph 8:31

I don't know why. The meatballs guy.

Eric 8:34

Yeah, the you are the meatballs guy. We do. I look, I'm not a meatballs guy, I'm the fucking ravioli taster. Okay. Me too. I'm I'm not a fuck a bunch of cheap spaghettios. I'm the ravioli taster.

Joseph 8:44

I'm I'm with you, but the fat joke was so good, I I have to lean into it. It was good.

Tim 8:49

So you said you you put up a short, you tagged him. I did. He never fucking responded to it. But like we've talked about on the Fairview Social before, it's like it's a wild, wild west out there on the social medias. Some some days it's like it's fine, and then other days you get like one or two views, and people don't give a shit. So you just gotta take what you can get.

Eric 9:09

The crazy thing in my podcast is I haven't done an episode in a year, somewhere around a year, and uh my fucking numbers have still been pretty good. I still am getting ad revenue, and so I'm looking forward to bringing it back because then it's gonna shoot up the listenership, and then I get more ad revenue.

Joseph 9:23

So can I be a guest on your on your podcast? Yeah, but I don't know if you really he was like thinking he's like, Do I want to be a remote?

Eric 9:31

He was thinking like how how can Joseph serve this podcast? That's what I was thinking. Is what can we talk about that would factor into the paranormal or horror?

Joseph 9:40

Fucking nothing, but you know, we can have a good time.

Tim 9:43

Yeah. Well, I mean, Eric's podcast isn't as loose, I guess you would say, as this one. His is like historical and proper and not fucking a bunch of assholes sitting around talking about nothing. I don't know. We talk about the paranormal, which I mean, sometimes it's sitting around talking about the thing. Maybe this podcast may be more successful if there was like some kind of niche here.

Joseph 10:07

Like a theme.

Tim 10:08

Like a theme talking about something.

Joseph 10:10

Well, one day, whenever he decides to branch out from paranormal stuff, he's like, you know what? I just want to do a podcast talking about bullshit. Maybe I can go on it then.

Tim 10:17

Well, why would he even care to do that when he can just come here and fulfill that need? I don't know. Of course, he's got more listeners than I do, so it might it maybe may benefit him better, but I don't know. I don't fucking know anything. No, I'm just here. I invited two friends to come over, a friend and a brother who I guess is my friend. Can I not be your friend? Yeah, I guess I'm here by default.

Joseph 10:41

You are here by default. Freeman's like, you better take him on that podcast.

Tim 10:46

So, what else we got going on, guys? Come on, let's uh let's think of something to talk about. I I am ill-prepared as I usually am for the Fairview Social Podcast. Last weekend, I went on a haunted hayride.

Joseph 10:58

Tell us about that. It was fucking awful, and it was expensive.

Eric 11:03

Where was it at?

Joseph 11:04

We went to the one and it's at the drag strip, the music city drag strip, it's uh whatever, up in Goulitzville. And Caitlin bought the tickets like two weeks in advance, didn't tell me anything, but apparently we bought four tickets because we went with her parents. So I'm like the 41-year-old guy on this haunted hay ride without my children.

Tim 11:22

Like, I'm just that's kind of creepy. And were all the other little kids like looking at you like, what the fuck's this guy doing?

Joseph 11:28

Well, no, they were looking at Caitlin's mom, like, I wish this bitch would shut up. Oh my god, what if she watches this? No, she was per she was being she was screaming constantly, just but anyway. Shout out to Caitlin's mom screaming no, it was great. No, the the hay rod was awful, but I get along with the her parents are fine, but yeah, but the hay rod was it was fucking awful. It was $200 for all of us to go do this thing. Damn, it's fucking expensive, man. And so I I told we were at the office, and I was like, Man, it was on Friday morning. I was like, I was talking to one of the guys at work, I was like, Man, I'm going on this this haunted hay rod, and he goes, Are you going on the one with the paintball guns? I was like, You need to shut the fuck up right now. And this was not the one with paintball guns, and so we did it. There was a little freak show at the beginning. Caitlin may have been forced to get on stage. Oh, really? Tell us about that. Yeah, I have pictures too, and the whole video, but well, I can't put it on here today. No, that's fine. So they were they were doing like this freak show, and they're like, We need volunteers. And Caitlin and her mom had dressed up, like we need we need volunteers. And the lady's like, What and I like to say that while the freak show was probably good for middle of nowhere, Tennessee, it was it was it was not very good, but they're like, I need some volunteers. And as she's walking around, her mom shoves her forward, and she's like, Well, thank you for volunteering. And I don't know if your listeners don't know this, but Caitlin is not a she's very timid, yes. So she's on stage and she has to rip a string out of a guy's mouth. That was her whole purpose.

Eric 12:59

I thought that was going in a completely different direction. My brain would be like, it was it was dumb. You said freak show.

Joseph 13:07

Well, I know in in Tennessee in Goodwin's. It wasn't Hanyman. I mean, she she handled it well, she was not pleased with being forced up there. So we go on this damn hayride, and and it's just you know, when you think of a hay ride, you think they're gonna have bells of hay. You're sitting in the in the tractors pulling the the wagon. You're sitting. No, it's a trailer with hay on the floor, and you just sit on the floor.

Eric 13:32

I'm too fat for that. I'm too fat for that too.

Joseph 13:35

At some point, you have to get up. So so we're on this hay ride, and then and bless their heart. They're all trying, but it's like they had 12 people for this entire hay ride. So it's like you would sit there for like five minutes being pulled, and then all of a sudden somebody would just jump out at you.

Tim 13:51

I'm like, the problem with all of this, uh and I don't mean to interrupt you because this is a very, very great story.

Joseph 13:58

No, it's fucking terrible.

Tim 13:59

The stories got me on the edge of my seat, but it cost 200 fucking dollars exactly.

Joseph 14:05

Plus, they didn't tell you this. You had to pay $20 to park when you got there. Yeah, I paid $200. I'm like, they're like, it'll be $20. I'm like, does my ticket not cover that?

Tim 14:18

Here's my stance on $50 a person not going to be a good one.

Joseph 14:20

We had two cars because their parents were in their trucks. We had to pay $40 to park. Why did you pay for the parents? I didn't pay for them to park.

Tim 14:26

No, my stance on all of this stuff is listen, I will spend money higgledy piggledy before anybody else in the world. I I I am a professional money waster.

Joseph 14:38

Me too.

Tim 14:38

And as I've gotten older, where I want to waste my money these days is I want to waste it on an experience because nothing materialistic anymore satisfies that itch. So I spend money on an experience. And what you learn is all of these experiences now, even if you go to dinner, just something as simple as dinner. But the event like you're talking about, $200 fucking dollars for some guys running around in a field trying to scare you.

Joseph 15:07

No, I want, I want, uh, I want I mean, at least when we were kids, they would like shove the chainsaw up our assembly locker room.

Eric 15:15

I want Joseph Weiss to pull a string out of somebody's ass, not their mouth.

Joseph 15:18

For $200. So I, and for the record, I did Google the paintball hayride thing, and it is a legit thing in Columbia, Tennessee, and we are doing that shit next year.

Tim 15:27

Well, hold on a second. I sent Eli, I sent Eli Taylor, Jack, and Zephyr to that last year for Halloween. The paintball one? The paintball one in Columbia, the one that you're talking about. The zombie paintball. The zombie paintball.

Joseph 15:39

Okay, so I'm on I'm on the edge of my seat now. All right, let me tell you this story. It's gonna ruin this for me, isn't it? Probably.

Tim 15:47

So we're this was last Halloween, not those one, not the one that just passed, but but the Halloween last year, I was like, I want to do something with all the kids. You know, Hayden's in New York, so we just have almost all the kids. So I'm like, all right, let's. I'm gonna it's almost Halloween. I'm gonna do the hay ride because I remember when I was a kid, I used to fucking love hay rides. Um do you ever love that shit when you were younger? No, really, you're fucking you're soulless anyway. Anyway, I like the haunted barn. Oh, hold on, we'll get to that in a second. So, all so all of these things, so I wanted everybody to be together. So I'm like, oh yeah, I'm gonna buy tickets. So then as because that's the problem with me, and just was the same way. You get to you get something in your head and then you immediately do it. And so I shouldn't have immediately done it, which I caught myself because as I get older, I'm learning restraint. Are you so I stuck so I stepped back for a second and I was like, wait a minute, I can't have me, Nikki, Eli Taylor, Jack, and Zephyr just go to this thing. Why not? Because there is Freya. Somebody's gotta watch the child. Freya, Freya is the golden grandchild. Freya is the grandbaby. So I was like, okay, so that turned into I'm going to pay for my children to go do this, and Grammy and Grampy will stay at home with Freya. So that's what we did. Sent them to it. They leave at like fucking five o'clock. Something like five o'clock. They go out there, we're watching Freya, Nikki's watching Freya.

Joseph 17:22

Nobody thought that you were watching Freya Freya.

Tim 17:25

I was just trying to be honest with the listers. Nikki was watching Freya. Your listeners also did not think that you were watching Freya. So they go, it's like five o'clock. And it's in Columbia, so it's like fucking hour from here. Right. Maybe even more. So anyway, five o'clock. They leave. Okay, well, they'll be back at 11, 12, you know, because they have all kinds of shit there. It's not just the hay ride because I bought the extra thing. Do they have a freak show? Not ones where they're pulling strings out of people's butts or mouth. With a hook. With a hook. So I guess that was an important part of that. So I paid like $350, $400 for these tickets because I got the add-ons to where you can go do the haunted house and the haunted woods and the zombie paintball. Did you get the extra paintballs and everything too? Yes, I got the works. I went all out. So they get home at like nine o'clock. Maybe even earlier, 8 30. They're fucking pulling in over there. I'm like looking out the window and I'm like, so I'm counting it. Five to six, like puts them at the place. Or maybe they left at six because it started at seven or something. So six to seven puts them there. So for an hour. Yeah. So they but but then when they got home, they said that they were only at the event for like 30 or 45 minutes. I was like, what the fuck? And then and so they were like, it was awful. They basically what you described. Well, that sucks. Yeah.

Joseph 18:51

So I basically ever since I heard the words zombie paintball hayride.

Tim 18:55

You it's ruined for you.

Joseph 18:57

I've had this on my mind for two weeks planning for next year.

Tim 19:01

Like I even thought about buying my own costume, which I don't dress up for how long to save your money because it's it should they said it sucks. I don't know. I may go and be like, oh hey, this is pretty good setup. Get to shoot things. Yeah.

Eric 19:14

So look, this is a business opportunity. There's a niche. There's a niche that needs to be filled of good fucking haunted hay rods.

Joseph 19:22

They go, they go, did Caitlin and I go to scan like the tickets on her phone. They're like, did everybody sign the waiver? And Caitlin just said yes. So we walked away. I was like, I don't saw one. Did I sign a waiver? She's like, I don't know. But why? But my point is, is what did I need the waiver for?

Eric 19:40

So they're not liable if you get hurt.

Tim 19:42

They didn't even scare me if you fall off the point is that I don't mind paying for something that is expensive to have an event and something to enjoy. But when they don't deliver, it's like, man, it's like, but it's like that. You go to McDonald's and it disappoints you. It's like constant disappointment in any service. And so you try to peel the onion back. Well, where's the problem at? What's what's the problem here? Is it the people that work there? Or is it our expectations? Just give zero fucks. Yes. Is it our expectations that the pro that's the problem? Which I think is probably a little bit of both. Because remember, you know, like when you go into a house, like say you go into your childhood home or something. Well, this doesn't apply for you because you absolutely. But like places that places that you went when you were a kid and it's like the Mima's house was huge. It just seems to be enormous. It is not. That's what I'm saying. It's enormous. So maybe these experiences that we had when we were a kid sucked, and it but it didn't suck to us because it was our perspective.

Eric 20:40

I don't think so. I think they've whitewashed the shit. You think so? I think they've whitewashed the shit for children just like they've whitewashed fucking Halloween with trunk or treat everywhere. Fucking hate trunk or treatment. And they've taken the trick-or-treating out of it because one person in this fucking 80s put uh razor blades in his own kids' candy. I'm serious, that's where they came from.

Tim 21:02

It's just like I don't think the man is funny, but it it's well but it's it's been taken over by these idiots who well, it's the it's the crybabies that yes, things might happen as as is if you could walk out your front door and get hit by a car. It's like sometimes things happen. The best is when you hear you, and you're probably starting to see it on Facebook right now. Well, no, it what oh yeah, they will. Hey, if it's raining on Halloween, are we doing it on are we trick-or-treating on Saturday? Treating the rain.

Eric 21:35

I just look, I'm you better get some grease paint for your face. That's all I'm doing.

Joseph 21:38

Maybe my memories are fucked up, but I remember the haunted barn and the haunter haunted locker room in Fairview were always bam, bam, bam, bam. There's shit happening.

Tim 21:47

And then you go in this room and this shit's happening, and then you go out of there and you can't climb enough where you can't crawl through. You can't even get to the next room before they're fucking shoving a chainsaw on your ass, and you're just right.

Eric 21:58

And they're all in your fucking face with their stanky breath.

Joseph 22:00

And that's when we were kids, and then we became teenagers, and and that kind of we started going to the downtown ones and where we thought we were even cooler.

Eric 22:08

And the best haunted house experience I ever had. Well, I think I was 16 or 17. Me and Andrew, Alan, and Booty Hester. Oh, oh God. I have not laughed my ass off so hard ever. We're going, we went to the haunted prison that they used to have up and out.

Joseph 22:27

Uh yes, it was awesome.

Eric 22:28

It was great.

Joseph 22:29

Um, I mean, you're they're banging and trying to you while you're waiting in line.

Eric 22:33

Yeah, and the creepiest bitch in there was in a wheelchair and she was sitting on her legs, so she looks like she didn't have any legs. And she's fucking right up behind me, just following me through half the shit, and it creeped me out. Even though I know it's an actor or whatever. You know, but just psychological shit. Right. It was great. But we get to this one part there's a mummy in a corner. Right before you go through the doorway. Well, the four of us stopped because there's nobody else. We went on like a week night. There's nobody else in there. So we stopped. There's nobody behind us. Booty and Alan. So Alan was scared to death. So he's holding on the booty shirt tail. And we're debating on whether this. Wait a minute. We're debating on whether it's this is a guy in a costume or if it's a prop. Yes. I like not knowing. So we're standing there discussing this right in front of it. Right, right in front of the mummy. And it's about, he's the it's standing on a platform, so it's about eight foot tall. And uh, we told Booty, Booty's in the front. Andrew's behind me. For the rest of the room. Alan's in front of me.

Joseph 23:40

For the listeners, Booty Hester looks like bam bam bigolo. Yeah, he's around as he is tall. Right.

Eric 23:44

Round as he is tall. Yeah, he's bald headed and he's fucking tripped too. Hey, it's Bert's brother that's been on here. Bert Hester, yeah. Yeah. So we tell we talk Booty into touching him. Well, you're not allowed to touch the actors, right? So Booty goes up to him and goes, he gets about an inch from him, and the guy goes, Booty fucking takes off with Alan attached to his ass. It's dragging Alan through the rest of the fucking haunted house. Me and Andrew are standing there laughing. The guy that's in the fucking mummy costume is laughing his ass off. He had to step down off the podium he was standing on because he's laughing so hard and taking breath. We finally catch up to Booty and Alan. Well, they done went out into the courtyard. Well, guess what's in the courtyard? The chainsaw guy, who Booty's also afraid of. So he drug Alan's ass through the grass and mud out. That was the end of it. When you go through the courtyard, that was the funniest shit.

Tim 24:34

But do they do that shit anymore?

Joseph 24:36

Not from what I've seen so far.

Tim 24:38

But I haven't been to anything since the haunted haunted barn. I haven't haunted barn in Fairview 30 years ago.

Joseph 24:44

15, 16. I think 16, because I went with Kyle Collins and Courtney and Michelle. And I like I remember driving Kyle's car. I don't know why I was driving. No, I was 15. I shouldn't have been driving Kyle's car, but I was. Um, I remember going to it then. That was the last time I ever went, but I remember at the haunted locker room when I was in fourth grade, I was going through and I was trying to impress a girl. And like I'm I'm I'm leading her through this like I'm a big man. And you know, there was a part in the locker room where you had to climb up this ramp, and it was like a little platform at a turn. You had to slide down, it was real tight quarters, and there was an opening at the top where the guy is there and he his purpose is to scare you. But he reached down, he grabbed me, and I just instinctively just go boom, uppercut him, and he grabbed me, he's like, You're getting kicked out of here.

Eric 25:28

I was like, I didn't mean one of the awesome things that happened when we were kids here in town, Favorite Elementary School around Halloween, they had a carnival. Yeah, you remember that where you would go in different rooms and do different arts and crafts, or they would have like you could make buttons, like you know, buttons like you pin on yourself. Yeah, or you go in the next room, yeah. But they would do different things, or you'd have carnival games or you win shit, or you'd have and they're all giving out candy, but they never did it on Halloween, they never fucked with Halloween. It was always the week of Halloween on a weeknight. And I remember that Favorite Elementary doing that, and so but they've taken all that out. It's all trunk or treat now.

Tim 26:05

Everything's trunk or treating stupid because they're trying to be inclusive to everything, and you know, the Christians are like, oh no, this is this paganism and all this stuff. Listen, I look, I'm a Christian and I I I I understand what they're saying, but at the same time, there there's no harm meant with this. It's like fucking kids running around getting candy, having a good time. Having a good time.

Eric 26:28

Well, but also growing up in this small ass town, when we were younger, everybody fucking knew everybody. Did the churches ever say anything? No, no, but everybody went to church, but everybody still participated in most people, I'm not saying everybody, most people still participated in fucking Halloween.

Joseph 26:43

We didn't we didn't even trick-or-treat in Fairview. I don't think I don't think I've ever trick-or-treated in Fairview.

Tim 26:48

I personally have never trick-or-treated in Fairview, but I take take my kids to Castleberry Farms, is where I mean I we went to our grandparents' house, mostly grand, because she lived in those condos.

Joseph 26:58

And when my kids were younger, we went to Sylvan Park because it was awesome. They shut down the roads, they have a good time.

Eric 27:05

Well, like my my cousin Clarissa went to church at the Big Church of Christ on Overby. And I went trick-or-treating with them when we were kids because guess where they went to the thousand-member church people's houses. There's like a thousand members of and we went to all the church people's houses and trick-or-treating. Yeah. And they didn't, nobody had any issues with it. And then all of a sudden the church is uh like you're saying, like all the people are up in arms over religion and shit with Halloween, and I don't get it.

Joseph 27:33

I'm pretty happy my kids have outgrown trick-or-treating.

Tim 27:35

Yeah, I will say that that well, it's so weird because when now that I have a grandchild and one on the way, it's not like I look forward to doing that with them. Right. But like, oh, I think I'm gonna be a much better grandfather than I was a father.

Joseph 27:50

Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure. A hundred percent. I told the boys that this weekend. I was like, just remember, when y'all have kids, they'll like me more than you do. Oh, yeah. Because Oliver's real mad at me right now.

Tim 27:59

Also, I'm gonna like them more than I like you. Freya's at the age now where she's like, you know, like a little person and being cute and talking and all that. And I'm just I love it, and I can't get enough of it. But like, and it was fun when the kids were younger, but you're you're kind of seeing them every day in a you know, in a growing up, you know, there's no it's not like, oh, I haven't seen you in a little bit. How look how much fun we can have. It's like, and then you take them trigger treating, you're like, oh fuck, I gotta take them trick-or-treating. It's like it's funny because it's like once a year.

Joseph 28:32

I mean, even with like even with Sam, at least now he's old enough that like he can work on the cars with me. I can make I'm I don't actually have to do the work anymore. I can point at it and be like, you do that. I don't want to do it anymore.

Eric 28:42

Yeah. In the vein of teaching him. Yes, yeah.

Joseph 28:44

I gave him a list of things that he needed to fix on the truck before he turned 16, which is coming up in a month.

Tim 28:50

Well, I will say, guys, that I was trying to play this off like it's after Halloween when this episode comes out, but if you hadn't said anything, it would be fine. Right.

Joseph 29:00

Well, you're the one that's ruining it. You know what?

Tim 29:03

Listen, I've got 43 episodes under my belt, and I will be the first to tell you that I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

Joseph 29:10

I mean, it's fine. You guys are like, I know.

Tim 29:13

We know.

Joseph 29:14

We know your 14 viewers know too.

Eric 29:16

The first rule of podcasting is authenticity, Tim.

Tim 29:19

Yeah, hey, I'm being authentic here and telling you that you guys fucking ruined my plan. But how did we ruin your plan? Because I was like, well, surely we won't talk about this shit. We'll find something else to talk about. The three of us that have a lifelong history together.

Joseph 29:33

Oh, you don't want to talk about Halloween at all. Well, I already talked about it on Saturday. Well, I don't know. I haven't listened to your Saturday podcast because you haven't posted it yet. So how are we supposed to have a list? I don't know.

Eric 29:46

Because I do like like whatever you're gonna start over. Let's fucking just cut it, start the fuck over. No, it's fine. That's the that's the fun of uh recording.

Joseph 29:53

I like listening to your podcast with other people, then I can come and and dispute what they have to say. Like Daniel disputing that he is, in fact, a bitch.

Tim 30:01

Well, I'm glad you made sure to fit that in twice. All right, we'll get we'll go off Halloween. Should I just cut this whole Halloween part off? Maybe maybe paste it into the one that I'm releasing on Wednesday.

Eric 30:14

And then they'll be like, I I haven't I have a new hold on the camera.

Joseph 30:18

Like he's in the middle of his podcast with with with his guests. With Nikki and Daniel. And it's like it cuts to just Tim for a second. He's like, and I would like to throw special announcement. I'm gonna splice this section. No, I won't say it.

Tim 30:34

I'll just like it'll just like we're talking all of a sudden. It's like instead of Nikki being there, Daniel being there.

Joseph 30:42

Can you do like a PowerPoint like transition? It's like two skinny people turns into like two fat hairy men.

Eric 30:50

Nikki like turns fades into stars and I zoom in here from a rainbow. Anyway, so what were you gonna say? So to change the subject since you want to go fuck off Halloween. Uh can we just agree that Mike is Russell Freeman? They're twins. Maybe he sounds just like him, he talks just like Russell.

Joseph 31:14

That may be true. I think you should have a podcast with Mike Riley.

Tim 31:18

And well, I invited Russell a couple weeks ago. He's he's coming out here soon.

Eric 31:22

So maybe I need to put Mike on with him and let the viewers every if I'm just listening to the podcast on YouTube, like in the background while I'm working, I forget sometimes that it's Mike and Russell Freeman's.

Tim 31:34

I'm not even joking. I didn't think Russell would be interested in doing it when I texted him. He's like, Yeah, I'll do that. That sounds like fun. I haven't seen that fucker in like, I don't know, three years, four years, something.

Joseph 31:43

My favorite one, does he tell you when he texted Ben to ask Ben to be on here and what Ben said? Oh, yeah, they fucking moved.

Tim 31:48

Nobody fucking I think that the last podcast that we've done, I just texted him because I was trying to round up some guests. We were like, What the fuck? Yeah, moved to Orlando.

Eric 31:58

Yeah, what the fuck happened to to your farm and shit that you loved in Kingston? And yeah, anyway. I don't know. I mean I do have to say also um to Kevin Curly. Um, sorry about his mom. She's an awesome lady.

Tim 32:13

Yeah, she was growing up. R I P. Kevin's mom for sure, but Kevin, we we love you and we're taking away. She was well, we're after.

Eric 32:25

Sorry, sorry, I thought about I thought about that because we were talking about old friends and now we now we now we feel bad.

Tim 32:30

It's like the only time I have a the only time my my heart works is for someone that I don't know at all. It's like my grandfather's like laying on his deathbed and we're sitting here, you know, laughing about it, not laughing about the situation, but then someone that I don't know, like like a tear falls from my mind.

Eric 32:48

Did you not ever meet as Kevin's mom?

Tim 32:50

No, I know Kevin's mom, but I didn't know her like personally, like we hung out and shit. Oh no, I used to go over there when they lived on Southern Road.

Joseph 32:58

I just have a tendency to be inappropriate, and I just thought that I would censor. No, not you.

Tim 33:03

I just I that's like the theme. Everybody like when they see Jess is coming on the podcast, they see the little theme, the little theme thing comes on and the music plays, and then they sees me, and then as soon as they see Jess Von, they're like, Oh shit, here we go.

Joseph 33:18

One day I will be fired due to this podcast.

Eric 33:22

That may be true, me and you both. I didn't mean to fuck up the mood. I was just saying well, you did.

Joseph 33:27

Now you gotta bring it back. All right, what from our childhood of 40 plus years of knowing each other, surely to God, we can find something to talk about.

Tim 33:35

I remember Eric showing me um was it yeah, I think it was you, Eric, and we might have talked about this before, but when we were uh we were younger and Barry Runk lived next door to me. Yeah. And we went over what did I do? We went over to his we went over to his barn over there, and I think that you or somebody had like a porno picture. It's like all folded up. It was like a woman. It was the first time I'd seen like a naked woman. Tim saw some boobs. I did, and I was shocked by what I saw, and I was like, How did you where did you get this?

Eric 34:10

And that led to you renting porn to say, says the man who started renting porn to everybody in the neighborhood. Did I rent porn? Do you not that your dad recorded it at work? My dad didn't all the VHS works.

Joseph 34:23

I don't know why that makes it worse, but it does. That is kind of weird.

Eric 34:27

On VHS and you rented it to us.

Joseph 34:29

And you remember we were cleaning out dad's house and we found it, and we're like, this is the shit that I used to rent from Tim. That's amazing. I have no record.

Tim 34:37

Not at all. It almost like that memory was pulled out of my head. But I will say, kudos to old Tim. Seeing a need, I mean, we were like we were like 13.

Eric 34:48

Me and Jason Phillips were your best customers for one. And there was one that we didn't return to you, and you like threatened us if we didn't bring it back to you. You're gonna tell our parents if we didn't bring your porno back to you.

Tim 34:59

I'm like trying to go through the old Rolodex in the mind. The Rolodex of fucked up shit you've done in your life. Yeah. Well, thank you for telling me that because now I'll try to think on it to see if I remember it.

Joseph 35:08

But I was like, Where'd you get this porn?

Tim 35:10

He's like, I rented it from your brother.

Eric 35:12

So I was renting porn. That your dad taped off the Playboy channel at the National Guard. R.I.P. Freeman. R.I.P. Freeman. Because we were like, oh, this is much better than watching HBO channels through all the static and trying to catch a glimpse of a dick or something. Hilarious, man.

Tim 35:31

Well, for me it was a dig, so I'm starting to get worried about myself because I don't remember certain things. And it's like I I would give anything to remember my thinking on that. We've done some fucked up shit in our life.

Joseph 35:44

It's completely unacceptable. It's almost like I've blocked it out.

Eric 35:46

But I'm getting to it's not just you. It's I have the same thing. Because I'll have people come up to me who's like, Oh, you don't remember because that's that one party at so-and-so's house. I'm like, you know how many fucking parties I've been to in my life? You know how much I drank at parties and got high?

Tim 35:59

I've been to six parties. Well, it concerns me because like uh here later.

Joseph 36:04

It's such a good idea, and you're like, I can't believe I thought it was a fantastic idea.

Tim 36:08

It's fantastic, it was a fantastic idea, and I'm glad that I did it. And you're welcome for this service. For the record, they were VHS.

Eric 36:14

They were VHS. It was young. And so, you know, they were horribly recorded because they're recorded off a channel. Yeah.

Joseph 36:20

You know, and we talk about why the National Guard had the playboy.

Tim 36:24

You know what's funny? Because back then it's like people don't understand what it was like back then, or at least the younger people don't understand that, like, you know, you didn't have, and of course, old people, if they're older people, if they're listening to this, they're like, these motherfuckers don't even know what they're talking about. But like when we were growing up, my dad used to like, I don't know, I was probably 15 or 16 at this point. Like, he would get this satellite uh box and he would get the cards flashed. Yes, we could have all the channels. And I remember, and so, you know, back when you only have like the normal, even just the normal Viacom or Comcast channels, it's like you had 50 of them or 100 channels or whatever it was. This is before now, it's like there's a fucking channel for every single little thing. But even when we had all that, it's like you don't really watch anything other than the normal shit that you watch. So there's just like no point in even having it.

Eric 37:18

I remember one time um I rode with you, and we went to the National Guard to see your dad for some reason, and he left us in his office because he had to go do something, and he was gone for like an hour and a half or something, and we're just sitting there, and you're like, look at this shit. You changed it to the Playboy channel, the TV.

Joseph 37:37

All right, I don't have any recollection of this, and I don't normally forget things.

Tim 37:42

Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I I wish I could remember that, but what I was gonna say a minute ago is like I'm noticing as I get older, hey, leave the door open, it's fun.

Eric 37:51

I hate you right now. I'm smelling some nicotine.

Tim 37:53

I can't get a little hot in there. I don't want that. What it you he calls it a doucheflute. He does he does it a doucheflute. Doucheflute. But like I'm having trouble like coming up with words. And so I wasn't really worried about it when it started happening about six months or a year ago, but I'm starting to get more concerned about it because I can't recall like normal words, like what I'm about to say. So I'm starting to get concerned. So I'm letting you guys know that if I get too fucked up and I don't remember shit, it's Nikki's problem, not mine.

Eric 38:25

Yeah, it is Nikki's problem. You're also middle-aged, sir.

Joseph 38:28

I just I just think about like I I have memories for my childhood that I'm not convinced actually happened.

Tim 38:34

No, it's like I I can't, I I can't recall them, is the problem. I wish that I could go in and pick these memories out and listen to the case.

Joseph 38:41

I think that you and I were talking about this not too long ago, and and I was recalling we used to spend at least one week of our summers when we were kids at like Lake Junalesca in North Carolina with Mildred and some random Yeah, I remember that.

Tim 38:53

I remember she had a fucking pet rock, and I just thought it was the best thing in the world.

Joseph 38:58

But like my kids don't get this experience, but like that that's like a core memory for me. But then not too long ago, you and I were talking about this, and you didn't remember, and I'm like, did this shit really happen? I don't I don't know if it was a real memory in my life.

Tim 39:16

Here, let's just pause it right here. Well, I don't remember what we were talking about.

Joseph 39:20

We were talking about our memories. Oh, yeah. So you do remember Lake Gunaluska. I do remember that. So that's not a figment of my imagination, but like where the hell is that? It's in North Carolina, just in in the Smoky Mountains.

Tim 39:30

It's this beautiful lake. It was it was beautiful, and that's what I was saying like a minute ago. It's like I have these grand memories of like this place was massive because I remember we stayed upstairs, I guess it was like the attic area. Yeah, but like but they lived in Florida, yeah, during the during the non-hurricane season, yes, and so if we went to that place now, I bet it would be like as big as our house or something. But I remember it being like grand and big back then.

Joseph 39:58

I feel like it was a Methodist colony.

Tim 40:00

It may have been, actually. I think it was actually it may have been because we were Methodist, apparently. Really?

Joseph 40:07

Uh well because we went to Westview Methodist Church, but I've never been baptized, so I don't know if I would count as anything.

Tim 40:14

I don't remember you ever going to church. He used to go outside. CEO's Christmas Easter only.

Joseph 40:19

That was my family took that's actually not true because I was talking to Caitlin about this the other day because we were talking about what she used to have to do at church, and you and Nathan used to go to dudes. Do you remember dudes? No, I have absolutely no recollection of that at all.

Tim 40:34

The Westview Methodists they used to do. I need to fucking hang out with you and let's talk about like old memories because I don't remember any of this shit.

Joseph 40:41

I don't I don't forget, I gotta I have a great memory. I do too. I have no short-term memories.

Tim 40:45

Have been pulled out.

Joseph 40:46

All right. So when we were kids, you and Nathan were teenage, y'all were almost teenagers, and obviously I was not because I'm the youngest, but y'all used to they started this thing that was like Wednesday and Saturday nights, and it was called dudes. It was for like teenagers, like young teenagers.

Tim 41:01

Yeah.

Joseph 41:01

And you and Nathan used to go to it, and I never got to go to it because I was too young. But it was like their Wednesday and Saturday nights.

Tim 41:07

Yeah, maybe I remember. Yeah, a little bit.

Joseph 41:08

And I was always mad that I didn't get to go to dudes and I had to go to actual like Bible study. And I didn't want to do that shit. And so I, you know, eventually we just stopped going to church. Like we just remember, I don't even know what happened. We just stopped going to church.

Tim 41:22

We only went there every now and then anyway, and that was when our mom was like getting mad, but we went more often than you remember. I don't think I don't remember going very often at all. Well, you're fucking wrong. That may be true, James. Welcome in. Hello, darling.

Nikki 41:38

He's always fucking wrong.

Tim 41:41

I think that she shows the ice in your face. I thought she was coming over here to give me a kiss.

Eric 41:48

No, she wanted your microphone. The only time I ever went to church when I was younger was uh vacation Bible school because you got free tie-dye shirts and shit.

Joseph 41:56

So I never went to vacation Bible school with at Westview Methodist, but I used to go to vacation Bible school with Luke Easterling. And and I went I went one time or two times with y'all. And I don't remember any of it, but I remember one thing.

Eric 42:11

What?

Joseph 42:11

All I ever wanted in this world was a pair of Jordans to this day, up until about six months ago, I've never owned a pair of Jordans. Six months ago I got a pair because Sam outgrew them and he never wore them, so I stole them.

Eric 42:23

You're getting hand-me-downs from your son.

Joseph 42:25

I'm getting well now I can't because now his feet are too big. So I can't. You haven't seen Sam in a while. He is massive. He's 6'4. Massive. Anyway, but I got a pair of hand-me-down Jordans from you.

Tim 42:39

Well, they were fake Jordans. Possibly, but that's not the point of the story. I'll tell you that story in a second.

Joseph 42:44

The point of the story, there were the black ones, they were Jordan 4s. I know what they are now. I didn't know what they were then, but they were Jordan 4s, original Jordan 4s, apparently fake. And so I went to VBS and I was like, man, my fucking my fucking legs are itching. Turns out they were full of fucking C tics. Oh yeah. And I and they threw that. They threw them away, and they're sitting there with scotch tape, getting all these ticks off my ankles, and I had to go home fucking barefoot.

Tim 43:13

That's because I was in the woods with them and I took them off. And let me tell you about those Jordans. So apparently the Jordans are also a core memory for you. Well, I remembered this. So like anytime I have a memory that I can latch on to and tell you that I want to tell you. So what what how old were you when that happened? Oh, Luke and I had to be 10 or 11. Okay. So I was about 12 or 13. And so I was playing basketball. I played basketball for two or three years. Two or two or three seasons. Two or three seasons at the at the uh recreation center here in Fairview. Um, I need you. You can continue. Actually, can we pause? Yeah, pause. So anyway, I uh you were about 10 or 11. I was 12 or 13. I played basketball. And so I wasn't very good at quote unquote basketball. I was like the one that nobody wanted to play. So Alex Prince and Theo Lankford like led the team. They were like the fucking team. But anyway, everybody on the team like had Air Jordans, and I was like, I want some fucking Air Jordan, so that'll help me be a better basketball player.

Joseph 44:21

It's like the McElmore song, they'll make me jump so high.

Tim 44:25

They may make me jump so high, they may not, but all I knew is at that point I needed to have Air Jordans enabled to so that I was able to up my game.

Eric 44:34

You were their core demographic.

Tim 44:35

Yes.

Joseph 44:37

And so I think I told I would say fat white kid, but he was we were a real skinny as kids.

Tim 44:42

I I said some of this story in another episode, but the the part that I was telling in that episode is how somebody called me bubble butt and it stuck with me till the time.

Joseph 44:50

I remember that.

Tim 44:52

But anyway, so I told my dad, I was like, I I told my mom and dad, I was like, I I gotta get some Air Jordans. I gotta get some Air Jordans. So we go to fucking Foot Locker or you know, whatever's in the mall, because that's how you had to buy shoes back then. And they had the Air Jordans that were like 150 bucks or whatever they cost back then, which was fucking expensive. It's still expensive. And so as a parent, as a parent now, no understanding the situation that they were in, it's like they weren't gonna pay $150, but I had to have some fucking Air Jordans because they're the kids were making fun of me because I didn't have Air Jordans.

Joseph 45:26

Because you had kids or LA LA lights.

Tim 45:29

I did have some LA lights.

Joseph 45:30

Shut the fuck up. Those were cool.

Tim 45:32

LA lights were awesome. You were in the same fucking boat he was.

Joseph 45:34

I'm not, I'm not, I mean, I'm just saying that's what we had.

Eric 45:37

I'm not so we go to the store. I wasn't any better. So we go more kids for Fairview.

Tim 45:44

We go to the store and they have the Air Jordans, and I'm and I'm my dad even like let me try them on and shit. And some of us, like, no, don't even fucking let me try them because you're not gonna buy them for me. Freeman torturing me. Freeman torturing me. RIP Freeman 8. So they have next to the air, or actually the the guy was like, I was like, come on, please, can I get these? And he's like, oh no. And so the guy's like, now everybody he was so much nicer than you, and like he wouldn't even take me to look at them. Every everybody's probably like, what? Somebody helped you, somebody helped you get shoes. Well, back then they helped you get shoes. So the guy's like, we have these not they're made by Nike and they're still still Air Jordans, but they're fake Air Jordans. They're not air, they're just Jordan. They were like the $50 alternative.

Joseph 46:32

I mean, we're talking 1990-ish. Yeah, 90-ish.

Tim 46:36

And so Air was too expensive. They were 50 bucks.

Eric 46:39

Pumping the fucking heel.

Tim 46:40

So I so I got I got those. My dad let me get those Air Jordans, which was really expensive back then. Because I remember my dad saying, Well, we can get you these shoes, but I'm gonna need you to work it off doing one of these armory parties where we had to clean up after all.

Joseph 46:57

Have we ever talked about the armory parties on this?

Tim 46:59

We have.

Joseph 47:00

Oh, okay.

Tim 47:01

But so they was I got offensive. I got them, I got them, and I got them, and then I went to practice. I went to Lord.

Eric 47:11

I was there with y'all for quite a few of those. So sorry, Layoshian people are great, but they stink. Anyway, go ahead.

Joseph 47:16

I went Lord. I'm not the offensive one. That's hard.

Tim 47:22

Get a drink or talking about Gene for a second. This motherfucker's ready to be racist and shit. Not being racist, just say so. Anyway, the ending of my story is not even that good. So I go to practice the next day and I'm fucking like, I got my Air Jordans on. And like in my mind, they're air fucking Jordans. But they knew. They knew. And they made fun of me.

Joseph 47:42

So here's the funny thing. I I bought these Air Jordan ones for Sam like a year ago, maybe two years ago at this point. And I never once saw him wear them. And so like I went and bought him a new pair of shoes and I was buying them a size 13. And I was like, hey Sam. I'm buying you a size 13. That means those size 12s aren't fitting you anymore. Oh, I still wear them. I still and Oliver goes, He's never fucking worn that. He's never worn them. So when I went to pick him up one time, I was like, Where are those Jordans? They've never been worn. Not once. I spent so much money on these Air Jordan ones, and I will say they're the most uncomfortable shoe I've ever put on my foot. Like I don't like I understand people wear them for the style.

Tim 48:28

I don't understand the Air Jordans thing. Up you know, like I had yeah, I was interested in it for the this was before they had like uh versions, like, oh, this is 1990 version or 91 or like the fours or however the the naming scheme is on it. But it's funny because Hayden bought Jack a pair of Air Jordans last year for Christmas. And but if he was able to get them, they're the ones that nobody wants, is what I've learned. Well, the thing is though, is Jack was like, you know, Jack didn't give a shit about it, but Hayden thought that, you know, because in Hayden's mind it was like the best gift ever, like because it's what he would want. So you have to look at it in that that perspective, but like I don't give a shit about anything.

Joseph 49:06

Respect to people who give a shit about tennis shoes. I'm I'm not what you would call a sneakerhead, but ain't it a whole fucking case? Is that what they call them? Sneaker heads the whole culture. Rico is a huge, I mean, he has a storage unit full of shoes that he has never worn. Why why buy them?

Tim 49:20

I don't know. You know, I get I I'm not even gonna I'm not even gonna throw shade because there's shit that I do that.

Joseph 49:26

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I've got ten thousand dollars worth of bullshit. Yeah, yeah. And so so Rico bought me the shoes that I'm wearing right now. And when I came over to the last Well, throw them up here so we can see them. They're just vans, they're they're not Nikes. Throw that fat ass up here. They're vans, they orange, they orange, and and what happened here? So I let Rico come over and use my garage to work on his cars and stuff. And and I was looking, I went to the van's website because I was looking for some more slides. All I wear is vans outside of work. It's just what I've always worn. And I these came up, they're like the special edition. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna buy those. I was like, ooh, but they're $85. So I'm not gonna buy them. And then the next thing I know, they showed up. He's like, This is how I'm thanking you for letting me work on my car at your house and help me with it.

Eric 50:18

That's all that's why would you specify that? Because I was sitting here thinking, I'm your gay best friend since we were like five, and I've never fucking bought you shoes, and I would never buy you shoes. But it makes sense. That's like the fucking gayest thing ever.

Joseph 50:28

Well, it makes sense when you know he's a secret.

Tim 50:29

Hey, attention, everybody, from the gay man. He said that was the gayest fucking thing ever.

Joseph 50:35

So hold on, that's not even the important part. That's not what I'm talking about.

Tim 50:38

It gets even gayer, I feel it.

Joseph 50:40

So I I got dressed last time I came out here, I wore these, but I was just wearing this. Yeah, and then Caitlin and I went out one day and I just put on fucking I didn't like I don't know how to match colors. You're colorblind, so yeah, that makes sense. I'm not necessarily I wouldn't say I'm colorblind, I'm just I have no common sense. Color stupid. I thought you were colorblind. I always thought I was, but now I'm not convinced that my teenage years and my early 20s make much sense. So I think that I think the truth is I'm just stupid. My parents just lied to them. Apparently, because I I would like those. Oh, because we used to argue about what the color of some things were. Maybe I am. I don't fucking know. Anyway, so I put on this shirt and it's like some stupid graffiti shirt or whatever, and I put on these shoes, and Caitlin's, I was like, how do I look? Because Caitlin hates these fucking shoes because they're orange on orange on orange, but they're like a special edition, like skater, whatever. I don't I don't even know who the skater is. I just saw them, I just saw them.

Eric 51:39

Yeah, exactly.

Joseph 51:40

I just saw them, I was like, those look pretty badass. I would like to have them as I have like five pairs of vans, and I don't have any orange ones. I look at Caitlin, I'm like, well, how do I look? Because we're going out on a fancy dinner. She's like, You look like your Rico's friend. I was like, all right. So we got to work, Rico's bitch. We went back to work like the next day, and and I was like, Rico, call Caitlin and ask her what I look like on Saturday. I look like I look like I belonged with a stylish black man.

Eric 52:12

A stylish black man. I don't know about that. I resp I respect black men for that for doing the whole like color coordinating thing. They're amazing at it.

Joseph 52:21

You can color coordinate too. No, but like we're I got it, I got it in there.

Tim 52:27

What telling him that he's gay? He already knows.

Joseph 52:29

No, it's not that he knows what I'm talking about. You just shut the fuck up. Okay.

Eric 52:34

But no, I respect black men for that. Like they have really good style where they color coordinate the shoes and everything, and they always look they look good.

Joseph 52:42

I remember one of the first days that Rico like came into my office, and like he he and I he and I and Alex all share an office. And Rico was looking at the ugliest fucking hat I've ever seen in my life. And he's like, Man, look at his lips. Which I'm just kidding. Racist. He's like, he's like, man, this hat, I have to have this hat. So I go and look at it, and it's a fucking bedazzled New York Yankees hat. I was like, Rico. I was like, if we're gonna share an office, we just need to come to an understanding that my style and your style is very different. And for a year and a half, we have operated under this understanding.

Tim 53:20

I have absolutely no style at all.

Joseph 53:22

Don't either. Like, this is the most stylish you get is your little your your hat with your well, you've moved on from the flannels on your podcast.

Tim 53:30

I haven't moved on. I just wearing something different than I wore the other day because it's a little chilly and I needed a sweater.

Joseph 53:37

I'm giving you shit, but I have no style either. Like none.

Eric 53:40

I used to, like then I just go fat and lazy and like I just don't give a shit. That's that's how I got like y'all remember used to wear button-up shirts all the time. Yeah, usually, yeah.

Joseph 53:49

But I mean, I guess like for me, my style is all right. Caitlin goes, we're going out for dinner at a nice restaurant. I put on black pants with a black shirt, I'm all black, and then I'll put on my red bands. Like, and she's like, Well, you just spent $150 on those black boots, or no, it was more than that. You spent all this money on those black boots, why aren't you wearing because I'm wearing my red vans.

Tim 54:11

Nikki would would say the same thing, but like we've been married for nearly 25 years, and you would think that, oh, well, he's married, so he doesn't really give a shit. But it's like we if we go out to eat or we go out to a show or something like that, we both like try to look nice, but it but we're both don't know a style.

Joseph 54:31

Like next week, you and I have to go to a funeral. Yeah, what are you gonna wear to that funeral?

Eric 54:36

Probably exactly are we already anticipating Gene's funeral?

Joseph 54:41

No, our uncle Oh, by the way, our uncle Mart, our mom, our mom's brother died. R.I.P. Martin. R.I.P. Mart.

Eric 54:47

I thought y'all were anticipating Gene already. Like, it's funny because the story behind that is like actually that's this week.

Tim 54:53

Oh shit. When when when when our dad died, like I was trying to reach out to Mart because him and my dad were pretty good friends, even after my parents got divorced.

Eric 55:02

I think I vaguely remember meeting him a couple times.

Tim 55:04

And he uh you have it. No, nope. So I try to reach out to him to let him know that that that our dad died, and and I couldn't get a hold of him. And I knew it was his number because he texted me from it. And his voicemail is him, yeah. And so he didn't he never responded to it or anything. So fast forward, this was like three weeks ago. I'm sitting in my office and I get a phone call from Mount Juliet, and it says, you know, on the phone, it says, Maybe Mary Dowden. I was like, what the fuck? Mary Dowden was making it. I haven't talked to them in 10 years. Hadn't talked to him in a long time, and I was like, What the fuck? Now on my phone, I have my work line and my personal line on there. And I later like, like, so I called her back. She left a message. I called her back, and I knew what was coming. I knew she's gonna tell me that Mart had died. Because if it was Mart calling me, he probably would have told me that Mary died. So anyway, so I call her back, and you know, I had to put on the like, oh, I'm you know, oh, that's we're so fucked up. Look, I don't, I have I don't I don't have no feelings about it, but it's just not my outside feelings. I really think that I'm numb to it because like everybody's died. Well, it's like it all happened, like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. It's like in retrospect, because the biggest person that you lose in your life is your parents. And so, like, well, I don't, and maybe your husband or wife or whoever, whoever it may be a kid, yeah, a kid. I don't wish that upon anyone. Please don't let my kids die. Yes, exactly. That's why I wasn't gonna bring it up because I God forbid anything happened to any of our spouses or kids or anything like that.

Eric 56:38

Well, you are we are the dead parents club, yeah. Yeah, we're we're orphaned. We're all orphaned. We're orphans. So it so look, I was adopted, so I was an orphan long before y'all were. But doesn't your biological dad live with you? He does, but he never he didn't raise me or something. I know. I'm just giving you a hard time.

Tim 56:54

So our friend, our friend Clay died in 2001. I think that fucked us up. And no, well, I was gonna say me up for sure.

Joseph 57:00

I did not process that until we process 20 years later. We process clay, all of us in this room process clay dying with humor. Yes, with our friends and humor and fucked up comments, and it bled over into mom dying 10 years ago, your mom dying, yeah, which god forbid I make a your mom joke to him.

Tim 57:22

I'm still I still don't like making your mom jokes to Eric. So the so my point of the conversation is Mary called. I pretended to have feelings. I'm good at pretending. I hope Mary doesn't listen to us. And I do, and I do have feelings, but what are the odds of that?

Joseph 57:38

We're gonna get there on Thursday night. She'll be like, I hear you pretend to be able to do that.

Tim 57:40

Sorry, I was gonna say it's easier than talking with Daniel because Daniel's really hard to podcast, but he's never gonna listen to me. Do you want to know why? Yes. No, anyway. So anyway, I did that. So I started thinking about how did she get a hold of me? Because I knew that she didn't have my number when I saw on my phone that she called my work number. So she called the office, and our Heli uh forwarded it to you. Likely. No, I think that maybe she got I maybe she found a business card with my number on it. If she calls the office and it forwards to I know it comes up as the person calling. Yeah, and it could be it could be what it was.

Joseph 58:22

You know what? I'll ask her on Thursday night.

Tim 58:24

So but but immediately I was trying to stop over there.

Joseph 58:28

God damn.

Tim 58:30

So the pro so what I'm worried about, so what I was worried about is like, what if Mary, all that is good, Mary, who's nice and kind and all these things, I know. I'm just sitting, I'm I'm gonna drink my drink, prim and proper, anyway. Prem and proper Mary. Call like what if she found out our contact information through this podcast and she was like, Oh, oh, there's Tim and Justin. Like the very like you were on episode number four or something, and she's like, play, and I'm like, I hope she didn't listen to that.

Eric 59:05

Well, if she googled Tim Hollis, you're gonna come up through the podcast on Google now.

Joseph 59:10

I have to know.

Eric 59:11

Do it because I can tell you now if you Google my name, the first four pages of Google are me now, because I built a presence through the podcast through the nighthouse and everything I do.

Joseph 59:20

So but I thought that I thought hold on, I'd like to say for the record that when I put in Tim, I put in tick, but it doesn't matter. When I put in Tim Hollis, it comes up as Tim Hollis, Tim Hollis, Mississippi.

Tim 59:33

No, the other Tim Hollis is Alabama.

Joseph 59:36

Well, I'm I'm not I Google Tim Hollis, I get that guy. That is, that's that's our that's the other guy.

Tim 59:42

I know that's what's the other Tim Hollis.

Joseph 59:46

No, but anyway, so we got Oh my god, he has so many things about him.

Tim 59:49

He's so much more important than that. He is, he's very popular. I thought about having him on the podcast, but he probably wouldn't really like it. But anyway, so we got to go to that funeral on on Thursday and Deal with all that, which I don't really feel like doing. And then obviously we got this gene thing that's imminent. So we'll have to do let me rephrase that. I will have to deal with that because you're not going to do anything.

Joseph 1:00:12

You never asked me to do anything. That may or may not be true. Like, what have you ever asked me to do that I have not done? No, you're right. That's true. That's that's not true. I'm gonna treat you like Caitlin. I can't read your fucking mind there, big guy.

Tim 1:00:28

Good lord. If my if Nikki talked to me like that. Oh no, I don't talk to Caitlin like that. Caitlin's gonna be smacking his ass.

Joseph 1:00:36

I can't talk to you like that, big guy.

Tim 1:00:39

All right, but anyway, what else we got? So we got Gene covered.

Joseph 1:00:43

Do you want to hear the time I made the your mom joke that was super inappropriate to Eric?

Tim 1:00:48

Yes, because you started talking about that on one podcast and I didn't know what you were talking about. But now that Eric has been.

Joseph 1:00:55

So this was all in my head. He never gave a shit. No. But when his mom died, he said, Hey, can you do this super important thing and be a pallbearer at my mom's funeral? Absolutely. There's nothing I wouldn't do for Eric. So I will do, I will be the pod, uh, not the podcaster. I will be the pall bearer.

Eric 1:01:17

You're being the podbearer right now. The podbearer.

Joseph 1:01:20

So at his mom's funeral, I accidentally made a your mom joke to Eric. She died at his mother's funeral. At his mother's funeral. His mom died like eight years before our mom. So when our so I did not and and it was in my head for years, and I never said anything about it. He never said anything about it either. So I don't want y'all to think that Eric was like holding on to the fuck you for making a your mom joke at my mom's funeral.

Tim 1:01:51

Anytime Joseph came around, he's like, fucking Joseph, and that your mom joke, I'm offended.

Joseph 1:01:56

But I never and and I let them fly as you do, as he does. We make your mom jokes fly. Um, but when mom died after the funeral, I was like, hey, Eric, since since my mom isn't also dead. Eight years later. Can I make can I make your mom jokes to you now? Because I feel bad about that one time. And he was like, I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. But I held on to that shit and I went out of my way to not make your mom jokes to Eric. And then I found out that the whole time I could have done it.

Tim 1:02:30

That's that's saying a lot because Joseph doesn't go out of his way to not make your mom jokes for anybody. I mean, I did it to people I don't know. It's like nobody's mom is off limits with Joseph.

Joseph 1:02:40

Like Joey at work, I know that his mom is dead. I did not hold back. And Selmo, I know I don't hold back. I held back for Eric. What about me? What if I tell you that I'm offended by it now?

Tim 1:02:49

I will scroll through our text messages and tell you to go fuck yourself.

Eric 1:02:52

And show you how you're not offended.

Tim 1:02:54

I think that you actually said your mom joke to me just hours ago.

Joseph 1:02:58

I did. Approximately 4 06 p.m.

Eric 1:03:03

What did I text y'all about when your dad came back from the dud?

Tim 1:03:06

Hang on a second. I said no. I said, I said, I'm loading up Gene's bed at the Pearl. Do you need help? And does he have a wire hanger for your fucking car? And I said, No, I'll be home in a minute. And then Joseph says, Your mom won't be home.

Joseph 1:03:21

FYI, your mom will not be home in a minute. She won't be.

Eric 1:03:25

And she wasn't. What did I text you when your dad came back from the dead on Facebook? I don't remember what you said. I said something about, is it appropriate to make your mom jokes about your dad now? Because your dad has a sex change on Facebook.

Joseph 1:03:41

Yeah, she hasn't shown up on my Facebook in a while.

Tim 1:03:44

I'm starting to get concerned. I need I need to look in on it. I think Bobby probably turned her ass in, is what happened.

Eric 1:03:50

Because he didn't understand. Yeah.

Joseph 1:03:52

He was what did he know? He did the right thing.

Eric 1:03:55

I know, but he didn't understand that it wasn't.

Tim 1:03:58

Yeah. It wasn't Freeman coming back from the death.

Joseph 1:04:01

He was like, Mama.

Tim 1:04:04

God. There are so many things I'm going to hell for. Well, you're going to hell for a lot of different things. And I mean, listen, we talked. Oh, are you gonna are you gonna break it down? No, I was just gonna break it down.

Eric 1:04:17

Top 10 list is where we're going.

Joseph 1:04:19

Top 10 list of fucked up things Joseph has said or done.

Tim 1:04:23

I wanna I want to talk about your mom jokes here for a second because we briefly touched on it in the last podcast that will be available soon. But your mom jokes, you remember when you were in school and it's like only the only the trashy rednecks said your mom. I never made your mom jokes until his mom died. And it was like the worst offense ever. Like if you said your mom to somebody, yeah, it wasn't, it was just like somebody said something, you're like, Oh yeah? Well, your mom. It was like that's fucking fighting words. But the your mom was so fat, where's the worst ones? Your mom is so fat and all that. But now it's like it's just everyday speak in my household. Even Nikki saying your mom jokes to my kids, which means her.

Joseph 1:05:05

Oliver made a your mom joke to me on Friday when I was picking it up from his mom's. It was a very inappropriate your mom joke. I was very proud of him. But you had to put on that face like no, I didn't. He made a your mom joke. It was about my mom being dead, and he is my 11-year-old son. He said that to you, 11. He's to me, and his mom looked at me. Annette, Annette, R.

Tim 1:05:27

Ip. R I P.

Joseph 1:05:28

Virginia looked at me and she said, This is your fault. And I had no argument.

Tim 1:05:34

It is absolutely your fault.

Joseph 1:05:36

No, I think it might be your fault.

Tim 1:05:37

But listen, Uncle Jim. But but listen, oh yeah. We never told that story on the phone. So Sam is Joseph's son, and um when he was younger, how old do you think he was at this point?

Joseph 1:05:49

Eight or nine, maybe even younger than that, which makes it even worse.

Tim 1:05:52

He was eight or nine, and so they come over for the holidays or whatever. And he was he like I was really nice to him. I'm always nice to the kids, but one time he did something bad or said something wrong or something, and I kind of got stern with him. Yeah. Because look, he wants you to refill his beer too, Jessie. Listen, please uh small.

Joseph 1:06:14

Right or left?

Tim 1:06:15

Uh right. So over over at my house, the idea. Over at my house, if you got kids and they're acting up, I'm gonna get in their ass about it. Right. You know, that's it takes a village. That's just standard. So he did something wrong, and so I got stern with him. And so somehow that morphed into there's Uncle Tim and there's uh Uncle Jim. And so I was committed to this story, and so they were leaving one night one holiday. Thank you. Appreciate it. And I went out like it was it was Christmas. It was Christmas. So I went out there as Uncle Uncle Jim or Uncle Tim? Uncle Jim is the cunt, so I got it in there. I was gonna say he's always gonna get it in there.

Eric 1:06:57

So Uncle Tim was YouTube will get you for that one.

Tim 1:07:00

Uncle Tim Uncle Tim really, no, they won't get me. I've I've been on many podcasts and I've said cunt a lot. Uncle Tim. Uncle Tim was a nice one. Uncle Jim was the asshole. So I went I went into my bedroom real quick and put on like a scarf and a hat and some like sunglasses, and I went and hid in the I gave him my keys and he went looking like a pedophile. I went and got in the car, and then like Sam goes to get in the car and he's like, Oh no, Uncle Jim's in here and he's an asshole. So we'd get that going for years. Do you think that he really believed it? I think for a minute, I think when we first started it. I was committed to it, man. It cracked me up the fact that like I could be two people, you know, because you'd always see it like when you were growing up on TV.

Eric 1:07:43

Like, I also think at that age, he probably didn't really know your fucking name because you weren't around a whole lot. Yeah, that's probably true.

Joseph 1:07:49

It's like when Nathan died, I was like, hey, Oliver, your Uncle Nathan. Who's the fuck Nathan?

Eric 1:07:54

Right. Uncle Tim and Uncle Dude. Oh, that motherfucker, not Nathan. RIP Nathan, but the other motherfucker sold the guitars and shit from y'all. Sure. He the one that Nathan used, supposedly praise the guitar. That motherfucker is still squatting in the fucking attic of the shell station with all the guitars and amps. Oh, is it? I need to get with him and tell him to give me that shit back.

Tim 1:08:21

Yeah.

Joseph 1:08:21

You know what's amazing is that you have contact with him.

Tim 1:08:24

Oh, he's in the shell all the time, but uh fucking Tony does. The shell that he is referring to, audience, is the shady shell.

Eric 1:08:31

Well, Tony told me that he's gonna go to the fucking court to get him out. Get all the shit out of there. Yeah, he's squad.

Joseph 1:08:38

You have this podcast that's called the Fairview Social Podcast. All you need is Eric. If you want to talk about Fairview, he knows all the bullshit in Fairview.

Tim 1:08:48

Yeah, I know, and I'm appreciative of that. But the a lot of the listeners in on the Fairview Social Podcast are from Indonesia.

Eric 1:08:56

Well, I had one the other day from uh Brazil. Well, when you throw around the C word all the time, YouTube limits who sees your podcast. Nah.

Tim 1:09:06

Well, quit saying it then. I'm not going to. Actually, you know what? I'll just go in and edit it out every time.

Joseph 1:09:11

Don't do that.

Tim 1:09:12

Well, quit saying it all the time. Well, you can bleach it.

Joseph 1:09:14

I am I am authentic.

Eric 1:09:17

So it's authentic for you to say the C word all the time.

Joseph 1:09:20

Fuck too many times, YouTube will limit who sees your no, it only gives a shit about like the first like 30 seconds or something like that. Yeah, but you were trying to fuck me the first time and and and fucking monetized. Before I don't have enough listeners, nobody gets.

Eric 1:09:34

And you'll never get monetized or have enough listeners if you don't stop saying cunt and fuck. So you have a choice.

Joseph 1:09:39

So you can either have me on your podcast or not. Or you can quit saying that. I am probably not going to do that.

Eric 1:09:48

Tim, I think you need to have an explicit warning at the beginning of this episode.

Joseph 1:09:52

He tried, he actually tried that. And it, you know, it really sucks when you do like the um the age limit on your podcast, because it means that I can't turn my phone off and listen to the podcast.

Tim 1:10:05

It won't let me do every time you upload a YouTube video, it asks if it's appropriate for kids, and I always put no. Yeah, with mine, I always put no as well.

Joseph 1:10:15

What is not appropriate for kids on your podcast?

Eric 1:10:17

Because I talk just like this on my fucking podcast.

Tim 1:10:19

If I want to say fuck, I say fuck. It's my show. I think it's because I think it's because like people post videos specifically for little kids. So well, you have the kids YouTube.

Joseph 1:10:29

Well, this YouTube channel on the episodes that I am on are not appropriate for children.

Eric 1:10:35

I'm just trying to say you might have 14 fucking viewers on YouTube because a cunti McCunk face over here.

Joseph 1:10:44

You know, it's you know what really pisses me off is when you do a podcast with like just Mike Riley or just one other person and and and they don't. I know Mike Riley, I know that he cusses. He doesn't reciprocate, he does not cuss on your podcast, and you take the lead of your guests, which is the right thing to do. You're not doing anything wrong. I'm just an asshole. And you don't cuss, and then there's no cussing, and then I feel like it's not authentic because I know you.

Tim 1:11:13

Yeah, I get it. Listen, and I know Mike. It was funny because I did uh episode with Nikki when she released her book, uh Light Matters, Dark Matters. Check it out on the Zon if you guys want to. And the book's amazing. I have to buy it.

Joseph 1:11:25

You're getting pretty good at this whole shout-out thing.

Eric 1:11:27

So I I will tell you, I she showed me the copy of it. I have to buy one, it's amazing.

Tim 1:11:32

So I did a podcast with her so that she could get clips to post for her social media to promote the book. Yeah. So I told her before we started, I said, listen, I'm not gonna what are you fucking laughing at?

Eric 1:11:45

Because he went, he went whoop, some weird noise with the fucking doucheflute.

Tim 1:11:54

So he made a doucheflute noise. So I told her, I said, because this is this, I said that because this podcast is for you, I'm not gonna cuss in it. And then I accidentally cussed twice. So I went in there and I pushed the edit button and I censored it out. I'm about to have to fucking start censoring his dumb ass.

Eric 1:12:10

You're gonna have a 10-second delay like they do on radio. I'm not gonna lie to you.

Joseph 1:12:14

I'm gonna be completely honest with you. Okay. If you start censoring me, I'm never coming on again. And I know that nobody gives a shit. Authenticity. Well, maybe one or two of the 14 listeners are gonna drop off off. I'm not gonna lie. The only thing I leave my house for is to come onto your podcast, and that's gonna take my entire social life.

Tim 1:12:33

But listen, I'm not gonna edit it, I don't give a shit. But you are right. If somebody like I will follow, because uh listen, Buffalini didn't cuss and you didn't. But listen, here's really turned on the microphone and Buffalini's like, fuck this, fuck that. He was that's true. But listen, the where I stand on it is this if I invite like the hypocrite. The first few the first few episodes, like when Riley was on here, he didn't cuss or anything.

Joseph 1:12:58

Because he cares what his kids think about him.

Tim 1:13:00

I don't in my mind, it's like, hey, he wants he wants to show his kids, or he won people want to show other people this podcast, and I don't want to be the reason that they're just like, well, I went on here, but Tim said all this shit too much, and I don't want my kids here. I get it. This right here, apparently, you don't care if your kids think you're an asshole. My kids are all of age, so they can listen to this if they want to listen to it or not. Do you know what's really bad? This is still a team-down version of me. Well, you get it here. Have a couple more because look, audience, this is how much has been gone.

Eric 1:13:37

And the he's not the only one drinking it. I don't know.

Joseph 1:13:40

We need a chicken and a Roger here soon.

Eric 1:13:41

No, I was I would he's like sinking more in the chair by the minute.

Joseph 1:13:46

Yeah, for those that don't know, we gave Roger a drink. It does not have alcohol in it, and that's all I'm gonna say. No, that's right. Anyway, so so I censored myself because I'm a good guy.

Tim 1:14:01

You're uh reclining. You may be a you may be a good guest. Shut the fuck up because you're about to say something mean. I asked. You may be a good podcast guest, but you're a bad parent. Oh, I'm an awful parent.

Joseph 1:14:15

I was like gonna, I was hoping you were gonna get offended by that because I don't mean that. I think you're a good parent. Listen, when my kids were younger, I was a terrible parent. And up until this week, I've been a good parent to teen teenage Sam and preteen Oliver. I Oliver hates me right now, and that's okay.

Eric 1:14:35

No preteen shit.

Joseph 1:14:36

R I P like for Jesse. No, no, it's not preteen shit. No, what did you do? I gave Watson away.

Eric 1:14:43

What?

Joseph 1:14:45

You dickhead. R.I.P. Watson. I gave Watson to Clint um from work, and Watson's probably living his best life.

Eric 1:14:53

Watson has a good home. If he went to Clint, he's got a good home. Yeah. Anyway, Clint's loaded.

Joseph 1:14:57

I gave a dog away, and Oliver was I gave I gave Watson away last week and I did not say anything to Oliver that I had done it. And I and I asked Caitlin and I said, Hey, do you think I should tell Virginia? That's Oliver and Sam's mom, that I gave Watson away so he can get his emotions out there where it's an emotionally stable household where she could be coming.

Eric 1:15:23

She could actually comfort it.

Joseph 1:15:23

She could be comforting. And she was and Caitlin's like, no, that's and Caitlin Caitlin does not cuss. All of 14 of your listeners who know me know that I cuss a lot. My wife does not cuss. Yeah.

Eric 1:15:36

Oh shit. She does not cuss. I have heard her cuss.

Tim 1:15:39

I've heard her cussing.

Joseph 1:15:40

Neither of you heard her. I promise you, neither of you have actually heard her cuss.

Tim 1:15:44

No, I don't believe it. No, I don't believe it. Let's call her up. Call her up. Call her. All right. Let's call y'all continue. We'll call her.

Joseph 1:15:50

Anyway, and so I decided to not and break the news to him myself. So then we had Wednesday, Thursday, and all day Friday to decide. Do I tell him at his mom's house? Do I tell him at the beginning of the 45-minute drive? Yeah. Do I tell him right before we get home? Or do I not tell him at all to see if he even notices? Just for the record, that was my vote. Wrong one.

Eric 1:16:14

I can figure it there.

Joseph 1:16:15

So I went with, I'm gonna tell. I'm gonna tell him at his mom's house. I said, hey, all and I told Virginia and I told Sam for oh Caitlin.

Tim 1:16:28

What? Hold on, hold on a second. Hang on, Joseph. Caitlin, can I ask you something?

Nikki 1:16:33

What?

Tim 1:16:34

Can you say fuck?

Nikki 1:16:38

Am I physically capable?

Tim 1:16:40

Yeah, say it.

Nikki 1:16:43

I I can, but the gas guy's here.

Eric 1:16:46

I don't think we're gonna be kind of rude. I need you to be rude to the gas guy.

Tim 1:16:51

Joseph says that you don't cuss, but I know that that's a lie because I've heard you cuss plenty.

Eric 1:16:57

But this is Eric, and I've heard you cuss as well.

Joseph 1:16:59

You don't have to be like this is Eric. She knows who the fuck you are.

Nikki 1:17:03

Drunk doesn't count.

Joseph 1:17:05

Drunk doesn't count. It does count. Drunk does count. Also, your parents cuss like so.

Nikki 1:17:10

Why do you need proof?

Eric 1:17:11

Well, Joe said you didn't cuss.

Nikki 1:17:14

Well, I mean, not sober or consciously.

Tim 1:17:19

So you won't, so you won't say fuck right now. The guy's gonna clear. You can say the C word since that's Joseph's favorite word.

Joseph 1:17:28

Apparently I'm gonna get Tim banned.

Tim 1:17:31

You're gonna get banned just YouTube doesn't show your shit. So you don't have any any cuss word to offer us. Ass. Bitch. Nothing. Alright, well, I don't have time for this, Caitlin. Goodbye.

Eric 1:17:44

Yeah, goodbye.

Tim 1:17:45

You're the weakest link. Goodbye.

Joseph 1:17:46

All right, so anyway. So I told I told Oliver, I told Sam in Virginia first, and they're like, he's gonna be so mad. Because a couple months ago, I finally found a home that would be good for Watson, and he cried all weekend and it fell through. And I'm like, oh god, I'm glad it fell through. So I told him at his mom's house, and he was like, I don't give a shit. He didn't say that. He was like, until Saturday morning when his mom wasn't there to comfort him. Yeah. I'm like, I need you to get out of bed. You gave away my dog. He got that out.

Eric 1:18:22

So Rico, Sam, and I are working on the race that you made.

Joseph 1:18:25

Sam is Sam Rico and I are working on Rico's car and my truck. And I was like, Sam, I need you to get Oliver. He goes in there, he's like, he yelled at me. He I was like, what's wrong with him? He's like, he's real mad about Watson. I was like, oh God. So I was like, I was like, I forced him out of the house and he's like, I'm like, can you do that? No, because you gave away my dog. I mean, and for the record, I I did in fact give away his dog. And the week that I've had since I gave away Watson has been the best week of my life. What? You don't like waking up with piss on your pillow? I don't like it's not even that because we kennel him. But what kind of life is it for a dog that I can't leave loose in the house? Listen, I get it. I get it. It's all good. And the perfect place that Watson would have gone would have been to Eric's.

Eric 1:19:11

Yes. Yeah, but we've always had too many dogs.

Joseph 1:19:14

They've got like 7,000 dogs. I know. What's Watson gonna make a difference? Well, that'd be 7,000. He loves Roger more than anybody in the world. Look, we dropped one of them.

Eric 1:19:23

That bitch went off and crawled in the woods.

Joseph 1:19:25

I know, and every time you lose a dog, I'm I get hopeful.

Eric 1:19:29

I didn't know you're trying to get rid of him because we lost one. We would have gained him.

Joseph 1:19:32

I've been trying to get rid of Watson for seven fucking years. Maybe your husband isn't giving you all the information that you need. He's not because he doesn't want any more dogs. Well played, Roger. Well, I feel like Watson's in a good home. Yeah. And my life is much. I don't know if he's on a farm, but he has woods and a border collie that actually gives him a lot of. Is it a farm or is it like a big property? I don't know why you're looking at him like he knows they work together. Doesn't mean he knows everything about it. We borrowed two fucking 20 by 20 tenths from the guy.

Eric 1:20:01

I don't know. That's Chad. That's oh, different guy. Okay.

Joseph 1:20:04

Oh, that's not very I was I was reassured for like a minute and now not feeling it.

Eric 1:20:09

But Clint's his fucking underlying.

Tim 1:20:11

Why wouldn't he know I don't I don't know if this is normal for like most most people. I don't know if this is normal for most people, but I feel like I'm a better parent as my kids are older than I was when I when they were young.

Eric 1:20:25

Oh, I completely agree with you as a third party outside looking into both of y'all's asses. Y'all couldn't give a fuck less about your children. No, no, no.

Joseph 1:20:32

That's not true. For me, it's not true.

Tim 1:20:34

No, I've all I've always cared about my children, but I feel like mothers, mothers are better at taking care of their children when they're children.

Joseph 1:20:43

But we make we joke, we hold on, we joke about how fucked up you and I are when it comes to like people in our family dying. I am not an emotional person and I don't do well showing emotion to my kids. Yes. And it has led me to not be the best father when they were younger. But like set, I'll be honest, I told this story on the podcast before. I got drunk one time with Sam, not with Sam. Sam was not drunk.

Eric 1:21:08

Yeah, way too drunk.

Joseph 1:21:09

I was very, very drunk, and we got home and Virginia. No, ooh, that's bad. Caitlin and Oliver went to bed.

Eric 1:21:18

Yep.

Joseph 1:21:20

Sam and I spent like an hour and a half in the garage talking about things, you know, from Caitlin to Oliver to Virginia. And I feel like that was like the most honest conversation I've ever had with Sam. And ever since that conversation, Sam and I have gotten along great. He does, he is very well aware of how impatient I am.

Eric 1:21:36

No, I want you to know what I just said was not a slight on y'all that you're a horrible.

Joseph 1:21:40

You're you're a shitty dad. No, that you're a horrible parents.

Eric 1:21:44

But not now. I think my kids may disagree. No, I think that y'all are I think you're good parents. Yeah, I always have. But I think now you're more available to your kids when they get older than you were when they were younger.

Tim 1:21:56

Well, but because you can relate to you, like, look, but that's what I'm saying. In my mind, in my mind, I remember 15 like it was yesterday. It's like I don't remember what it's like to be a child and the needs, and the I don't know that if we were ever deprived of love and care like that, which it sounds like we were.

Joseph 1:22:16

I mean, that's that's kind of my point. I remember when you and I started having kids, dad would always tell us, I don't want to be a grandfather like Gene was, right? Like Gene was absent when we were and he was, and he's still, I mean, he's not RIP Freeman, R.I.P.

Eric 1:22:35

Freeman. He's just in the fucking pearl.

Tim 1:22:37

He's not that far. Yeah, you point like it's not that far, but I don't live in Fairview. Well, absent in the fact that like he's not calling you up and like being yeah, like I want to be a good grandfather to Freya.

Joseph 1:22:48

And so when I was growing up, and and then I had Sam, I was like, I am not gonna be a dad like Freeman was when I was a kid. Because dad and I, when I was a kid, we weren't close. Well, you looked at me before I was there. I'm not well we weren't hold on, I'm looking at you because I'm having a conversation with the two of you, and sometimes I don't want to look at his ugly ass. And so I look over here. Well, don't don't misunderstand.

Tim 1:23:12

I didn't have a great relationship with Freeman H. Until we all were older, until we all worked together.

Joseph 1:23:18

Yes, and I didn't want my kids to have that, and then I realized a couple of years ago, I was like, man, I'm treating my kids exactly how dad treated me. And and so I've tried to be more involved. Unfortunately, there's not a lot to be involved in because my kids are lazy.

Eric 1:23:31

But well, I loved your mom to death, and I thought she was amazing. But for the longest time, her most popular phrase that I heard more than anything was, God damn it, Joseph. All the fucking time. It was always goddamn, Joseph. Well, that sounds about that track, right?

Joseph 1:23:46

I'm I'm I'm really trying to think of an argument for that, but I don't have one. But I didn't want to be that kind of dad, and and I have been that kind of dad, so I've been really trying to balance that out, especially now that they're older. My problem is I'm very impatient. And and when I want something done or when I want to do something, I want to do it now. I don't want to be like, I'm gonna plan for this. No, I want to do it now, and that bleeds over to I want the trash taken out. Yeah, I'm like, Oliver, take the trash out. Yeah, and then it takes him five five minutes to get to it. No, I want it fucking taken out now. I know, I'm the same way. And so I told them I told both of them, and Sam sees it now, and I'm able to actually like have a conversation with Sam about my weird feelings versus his weird feelings. And I mean, that motherfucker went to fucking therapy and told his therapist that I'm an asshole.

Tim 1:24:38

And that was like my eye opening on my the problem is is like the same with you. Apparently, it's like I get these thoughts, like for example, right now, like if I'm like, oh yeah, the trash needs to be taken out. Jack, I need you to take the trash out. And it's like, but I want it to be done now now, because that thought crossed your mind and you grabbed it and you want results from it. So my kids messed up, you know, when they were younger and they didn't do something immediately, but like I don't have to ask twice anymore because they learn like they've learned like what your expectation is. You know what?

Joseph 1:25:08

If you just take the trash out as soon as I ask, tomorrow we're gonna do something awesome. We're not, we're gonna sit at home.

Eric 1:25:14

But well, also look at it as as fucked up an individuals as we are. Both of y'all kids are pretty well adjusted.

Tim 1:25:21

Oh, I you know that fucking my kid. I can I can't speak for Justin, but my kids, the only reason they're as great as they are is because of Nikki. I mean, she's fucking the loving the mom that you wish uh that I wish that I had. And it's like what are you talking about? What you did have that mom. Uh, maybe in our in the later years, but then she fucking died.

Joseph 1:25:45

It's like again, well, I I'm sorry that you took 15 years to warm up to mom. But I'll tell you.

Tim 1:25:52

I'm sorry it took you 15 years to warm up to dad.

Joseph 1:25:55

But I'll be honest with you, that 15 years. I had a pretty I had it pretty good, didn't I?

Tim 1:25:59

Yeah, we fucking talked about this before, this dumb motherfucker right here, always getting her ATM card, fucking pulling out money. Anytime he just fucking had a twinge, like, oh, I want to go do something. Look, I can't say anything to benefit from that sometimes. Mom's like, oh, here.

Joseph 1:26:15

Anything you want to do. There was no here. You're like, I had to ask her. No, I just went to the Bank of America. Meanwhile, right over here.

Tim 1:26:22

Meanwhile, you changed the scene over to me and Nathan. It's like, hey, dad, uh, I want to go do this. You're not getting shit. You fuck you. You go get a job. You know what? I got a fucking job.

Joseph 1:26:32

You know, so Sam's Sam turns 16, uh, and apparently they made his appointment to get his driver's license. And that is what I'm worried about.

Eric 1:26:40

Fuck, we're old. It just makes me I've accepted it.

Tim 1:26:45

You're just hearing it, you like you hear pieces of it because all of our kids have gotten old.

Eric 1:26:49

And I don't have any children to watch get old, and then you're sure like that, like you and I might see each other once a year, and that and that's just bullshit.

Joseph 1:26:58

It is bullshit. I don't leave my house.

Tim 1:26:59

Listen, I tried to get you guys to fight about it in the beginning, and nobody wanted to do it. Now that we've got a lot of things.

Joseph 1:27:06

But the reason is for the last 15 years, I've been dedicated to raising my children. Like, that's what I've wanted to do, and I've done a shitty job of it, but they're very well adjusted. You haven't done a shitty job of it. Sam has excelled and he's going to Yellow in spite of both of their parents. Let me clarify, he's not going to Yell as a student. He's going to Yell next summer to visit. Listen, you he's going to summer camp and yell at trees. Um, it's some college thing. I don't know. Apparently, it's a lot of money, and I said no. And so Virginia's.

Tim 1:27:35

They're well adjusted in spite of both of their parents' fucked up shit. So Virginia's mom is paying for it. Well, that's the thing, is all kids are fucked up by their by their parents in one way or another.

Joseph 1:27:44

I never, you know, I always realized that we were fucked up by by mom and dad, but I never realized it until my kids were fucked up by me.

Tim 1:27:52

Yeah, by the shit that you were doing. Because listen, this whole non-emotion thing is not just us. It was it's it stems from Gene Harold to Freeman H to us. I agree. And here we are, and now and then he's he's all kinds of fucked up.

Eric 1:28:10

Oh, I was fucked up by the parents who didn't raise me.

Joseph 1:28:12

I know.

Eric 1:28:16

Well, I mean, I don't know if you agree with it. I loved your mom and dad. I don't know. No, no, they're they're fucking amazing, but but also what I thought that I would not have abandonment issues because I was raised by my grandparents as my mom and dad, and I didn't know I was adopted until I was like nine. And then I hit my like 30s and I have abandonment issues. Like, what the fuck? Where did this come from? What the fuck?

Joseph 1:28:39

Now you're in your 40s and Roger's having to deal with it. That's what I was gonna say.

Tim 1:28:43

It's like, look, look, we're in our mid-40s right now, and the problem with all this is you're starting, I'm in my early 40s, early to mid-40s, and we're still my early ones too, you fuck one. We're still dealing with these things. That's what I'm saying. Is like, you you know how like yeah, you know how you see people on TV that'll be like fucking 50 years old, and like, I ain't fucking with him and all this bullshit. You're just like, God, I thought I left all that shit in high school. Well, this is the same as that, just on a different level. It's like we're all still fucked up from our childhoods, we're all still fucked up from our upbringings or anything else.

Eric 1:29:19

I had somebody had somebody say to me, uh, you seem so well adjusted, and you got like you got all figured out. Motherfucker, I'm making it up every day as I go.

Joseph 1:29:27

Like I'm 41 years old. I just figured out I hadn't had like an actual job in 10 years.

Eric 1:29:32

I just figured out in the past 10 years that all the adults we grew up with that we look up to that that had it together. No, they just figured out that nobody fucking has it together, and everyone makes it the fuck up every day as they go. You guys nobody has it anything for that.

Joseph 1:29:46

I have like a limited camera scope into like mom and dad in the 80s. It's probably the same bullshit as we were doing. I I I never Sam called me last week and said, Hey dad, can you spend five thousand dollars for me to go to Yale for two weeks. Nah, no. No, no. I never called I remember what benefit does that have. I called dad and I was like, hey dad, I'd like to go to college and he laughed at me first. And then he said you can join the military. So Sam was like I want to do this. I was like, well there's the army.

Tim 1:30:19

Be all that you can be, son. Yeah. It's it's it's it's a very weird situation with the now that you have kids and you're literally looking into a mirror to see all of the fucked up shit. And you know, thank God the kids have made it through it. Think about the kids that don't make it through this stuff and they latch onto drugs or alcohol or or it's suicide and all these things that can happen. It's like I think that we're very blessed.

Eric 1:30:48

I know you don't like me using that word, but we're blessed but I think also y'all y'all short sell yourselves as dads because your kids haven't gone there. Especially you Tim because it's not just Nikki doing that. That's you. That's you with the structure and with being a father and being there and present even though you think you weren't and I your kids aren't on fucking drugs. They're all successful. They're all doing good things they all put out good things in the world.

Joseph 1:31:14

They're all good people I'll actually agree with him because whenever there were kids I criticized the fuck out of you behind your back. What are you talking about? Because I was the one that taught your kids about baseball. I I was the one that all this shit and now as an having my own kids and seeing that no you're you're a great dad and you need to acknowledge that no I'm still a shitty dad but it's okay.

Tim 1:31:35

No you're not a shitty dad then at the at this point other than you fucking say too many bad words around them.

Eric 1:31:41

I do my kid I don't ever cuss around my kids and the fact that they listen to this podcast makes me twinge at least in the beginning it didn't but Sam listens to this podcast too well I'm sorry my parents from the get go we had the fucking card group gang over there playing cards and getting drunk every Friday and Saturday night and they were like you're gonna hear this but you don't speak it until you get older I that was the only rules a few weeks ago I came into the garage so Sam didn't know that I was coming home and he was fucking yelling at Oliver and he said some fucks.

Joseph 1:32:15

I'm sure he did and I said I never want to hear you say that he said you say it and I was like you're correct I had no argument. But why would you put that expectation on your kids when we were cussing like sailors at 10 fucking years old yeah but I don't know did so your kids are all grown now but when they were kids did you did you monitor the type of music they were listening to um in the beginning yeah I I don't and that's because I was never monitored.

Tim 1:32:40

I was gonna say we were yeah we never had a monitor it's funny because like Eli I had him on the podcast the other day which you'll hear that soon you had Eli on the podcast I did. Did he talk? Oh shit he was fantastic he really was I've never been more excited for a podcast right he was other than when Hayden I are together he was really good but hey like Eli I've never heard a profane word come out of his mouth ever Uncle Joe has well I know that he because listen because he this this is my point in all of it like I used to never say anything bad around my dad or anything because I had a reverence of like he was like important he was on this pedestal he's my dad it's like he wouldn't accept this Eli has that respect and doesn't do that. If he said something bad I would probably be like that's kind of weird but he's a fucking adult he's 25 years old almost 26 Hayden does not have that gives zero fucks. Exactly Jack will say things when he gets rambling off because he cusses like a sailor too and I'm like keeping he does I'm like I'm like hey hey hey you told him to go to work at El Siren all those I think I think the worst thing that happened was you invited me to New York yes that is where it all fell apart for me. Because look my kids with Jack and Hayden my kids listen because I remember thinking when we got older I'm like when is it okay that I can be myself around my parents now smoke cigarettes around them or I think I've told that story on do any of those things but like my kids have passed that threshold I think it's because a lot of it's because of this podcast and Hayden gives zero fucks anyway but like we as a family like I ne I never cuss around even now it's like if we're just out there talking and hanging out it's like you will never hear me say a bad word around my kids and the fact that they listen to this like I said the first five or ten episodes I'm like I don't want my kids to listen can I like block just my kids listening to this I did I didn't want Sam to listen to the first episode that I was on because it was a story about me calling him a cunt a cunt and he listened to it and and he was like hey dad can we talk about that podcast I'm like no we can but they're fucking kids they're like Eric said we were out there cussing like sailors at 10 years old on the fucking monkey bars and everything else it's like we were big shit I will say this Sam is a much better 15 year old than I was yes if my kids cuss and that's all they're doing then I'm especially Hayden. I can't even say kids they're fucking adults I mean they're all adults you dropped Hayden off at 17 in New York City which was not not approved by me but I got overruled and and that's fine.

Eric 1:35:28

So you know all the fucked up shit that the three of us did has no level at 14 years old I'm walking up the street to come see what my best friend is doing. Jesus Christ and I get kidnapped by a purple van with people drinking a keg.

Tim 1:35:45

Yeah we did have a keg difference it was Killians it was wonderful fucking fucking Ben hold on Paul 14 years old Ben and his fucking Killians that's like the worst fucking beer ever. Actually Killians isn't that bad you only say that because you got a keg of that shit for your first wedding I would rather have Smithics two kegs of that and you and I if we're drinking Irish beer if we're drinking fucking Irish beer Killians is shit.

Eric 1:36:05

I want Smithics all the way it's a bit it's a better Irish beer.

Joseph 1:36:10

All I'm saying is Sam is a much better teenager than me and Hayden I I love after I do a podcast with you and I mention Hayden he always texts me he'd be like I'm still waiting for you to come visit New York.

Tim 1:36:24

He's in fucking Mexico right now we'll see if he responds to it we pausing pausing all right then so Hayden Hayden is in Mexico right now he went with his girlfriend's Mexican and so I was concerned about it because there's a lot of uh cartel out there that could get him they don't want him you said Hayden always texts you after the episode so he's still listening to him yeah well his text is always I'm still waiting for you to come visit New York and my question is when are you and me going to go to New York?

Joseph 1:36:58

Let's fucking go just the two of us. We got plenty of vacation I thought you went to New York we did but we would like to go without everybody that went with us he's gonna be these things waiting you visit but you can go visit before let's plan for December right now why I don't have a real ID I don't either but we can go down if you have a passport yeah dude I don't have a passport why don't we go in December passport's easier to the second car shit I'm off a I took a whole week off in December I'm burning vacation time I know I need to do the same thing.

Tim 1:37:27

I've never flown on a plane shut the fuck up I've even flown on a plane I've flown a helicopter not a plane did you listen to my podcast where I talked about my first flight yeah it scared the shit out did you listen to his podcast about his first helicopter ride?

Joseph 1:37:40

Yeah it's called the helicopter ride I pissed all over myself but that's because I had too much to drink no I want to go to New York I want to go to New York just the two of us and the best part is Hayden's like you can just crash I will sleep on the couch and you can sleep on the bed I'm like no I'll sleep on the couch.

Tim 1:37:56

I don't want to sleep no I don't know what you want to do in that no all of that sounds like oh that's a good idea but until I've been down that road until I'm like you get to New York and then you're like no I'm getting a fucking hotel well I'll be okay with the two of us sharing a hotel room as long as as long as we pre-plan it I mean that's for you that's the problem.

Joseph 1:38:19

I'll just have this Uber drop me off in New York City on Times Square and we'll just walk into this hotel in June.

Eric 1:38:24

The only time I ever been to New York is when I was a little kid my dad drove a truck and went in New York and it was fucking horrible.

Tim 1:38:31

Listen driving a truck New York City is fucking awful but the subway is amazing and I will go back just around on the sub oh the subway in Atlanta is amazing too right yeah it's pretty it's a it's an amazing um feat that we've done that we can build a city on top of a system like that but it is kind of janky but two of two of your three children text me on the regular usually after a podcast what who else Jack doesn't really text me but I see him every it's the way he said it he said two of your three but I see Jack you know what what's gonna happen when we're celebrating Gene after he actually passes why are we recording this on a Monday not a Friday or Saturday night because everybody's got shit to do tomorrow. All I know is I spent a hundred dollars on this fucking really good bourbon and uh well thank you it's been good we'll save the other half for Gene no we're not we're gonna have to get hold of the bottle it's pretty good that double is it is really good and smooth.

Joseph 1:39:31

As someone who has decided that whiskey is no longer my drink I have drank quite a bit of it.

Tim 1:39:36

Two of the three two of the three I I'll be honest with you I don't remember doing that but I'm just trusting you that it did I think I think you'll be very surprised when you hear Eli's podcast we had another another guest on there I won't tell you who it is but it was three of us and I told I I told Eli to tell the story of when he got fucking pulled over and went to jail for speeding did he go you you didn't know I knew that your one son got mugged I didn't he was going 140 miles an hour in my fucking minivan oh yeah I remember that and he went to jail I'm I'm excited about about an Eli podcast yeah he was good and he was really good I was because he's not one that like talks a lot he's yeah he's learned from me over the years like we had that that part he hasn't learned shit from you no we had that this is what he did learn we had that party up there and he like he's used to like going and hiding see I have this area here that I can go and hide in and so he's used to going and hiding and he stays quiet and he's just you know he doesn't talk too much he's like not one with the words but he did great when he was a kid before Sam was born I spent a lot of time with him and then I didn't because Sam was born and then a few Christmases ago we all got very very drunk.

Eric 1:40:56

Yeah we made him carry the pitcher around we went caroling we have still not been a part of that we jump caroling we go caring it happened last year too every year it happens every year I don't know why the fuck we it's all two traditions no I texted on Custol last year because I know you're fucking doing it well it's your fucking birthday so you might but you can come on my birthday because no he does anything I'm fucking Christmas one tradition that Tim and I'm just invited last year.

Joseph 1:41:19

There's one well that's it's his fucking house look at listen well then this motherfucker just tells me well just show up I don't know what the fuck you're doing you to Tim's house it's not my fucking house to all of the 14 listeners and Eric you it's an open invitation to do drunk caroling but we are not the type of people that just show the fuck up go ahead say what you gotta say there there are two traditions there's one that we're keeping alive and that is frying turkeys we will do that maybe we'll add Eric and Roger and there's a new tradition over the last couple years a few years at this point that I will there's so there's two things I'll show up for the one the frying turkeys is pretty easy because we do it at my house but I always show up for the drunk caroling and last year was a little disappointing. You fucker have never been invited to your house for frying fucking turkeys either because we do it in the middle of the day on like a Wednesday and well I work for my fucking self.

Tim 1:42:18

Yeah you can come over and do it yeah we're gonna fry but there's takes a long time there's also a lot of turkey there's also the Christmas mullet that you have to wear while you're going around and I have no problem with that I'll grow one you did not hesitate. You're gonna have to pry it out of Eli's cold dead hands though Eli was Eli was he was fucking wasted we made him carry the pitcher around I wrote the story you had a keg of Modellos Modelo Negro and it was amazing.

Joseph 1:42:45

Yeah Modello Negro yeah that's funny and he he did he carried around the entire neighborhood and we were fucking sloshed well this year I'm fucking in for all of it. Yeah I do it come on over we usually go around six or seven or something I don't know because I'd rather hang out with y'all for my birthday and Christmas than fucking that first year we did it there was somebody in this neighborhood and I don't want to cause you problems there was some bitch in this neighborhood who wanted to take control over it.

Tim 1:43:08

No she was like lady do we not have music sheets no I don't have a fucking music sheet do you know the words I do not do the words become faithful all the time you all faithful I'm here and I'm drunk I'm ready to go that's all that matters yeah all we need is a voice that's all we need and I don't even sing I don't do any of it it it's always it's fun and and what's very surprising is the people that are home when you go and knock on their because nobody ever does that shit anymore.

Joseph 1:43:38

I've did you as a child Eric Freeman as a child did you go caroling?

Tim 1:43:43

No but when I was in the when I was inquiring the middle school in high school we did that's not the same as a child shut the fuck up that's not the same just saying good lord we we invite a man over we invite a man over to speak on the podcast and you tell him to shut the fuck up hostility shit yeah maybe there was some hostility there we need to work out there Joe. That old fucking wood for reason picked up on it and we didn't to be honest it has nothing to do with you for my beast all right in the last few minutes here before we wrap this thing up yeah yeah yeah yeah what are you wrapping it up for and after he has about 14 drinks he's like I'm ready to go like and that's where I'm like we need to we need to tone just hold on when we first started this not even we when you first started this podcast the first few that I was on you and I got pretty drunk before we even started that's true it's not my fault you changed your fucking format what did I change my format to I can't I can't start drinking until we start podcasting oh that's right because you were getting hostile towards Daniel that was the two sad dads creation there.

Joseph 1:44:55

You know what's funny is they think that I'm hostile to I love Daniel. I'm not hostile towards Daniel at all.

Eric 1:44:59

Eric he's very hostile I you say you love Daniel but you start on the podcast insulting Daniel. Nope Eric's like on Mike on Mike's behalf Eric's like I was on Mike's not yours on my head's like as an outsider listening you said hostile I was taking Daniel's hostility not yours called me on Saturday while you were podcasting with Nikki and Daniel and Daniel said what did he say you're the most hostile person I've ever met that's true he did say that Eric you've known me longer than anybody other than this dumbass. Would you say that I'm a hostile person no I think you're like the most non-confrontational person.

Tim 1:45:43

Daniel's a bitch well listen there's a couple things going on here. And then you confront Daniel and say he's a bitch Daniel is a bitch but you're also a bitch and you are hostile towards Daniel.

Eric 1:45:56

Look I never met Daniel so I have no fucking clue. Well maybe we need to get him in here and get you on here so when the fuck is Mike Lord coming on the show he won't I asked Mike Lord the other day he said he's ready.

Joseph 1:46:06

No he's awesome he won't he won't come on he has the voice for this he does it'll be good it'll be a good episode too if he's worried about it just being me we can get some we can get all you know Mike do you know him personally we all got drunk we we got drunk and showed up here one night we can have four we did his wife feel fit because he came out here to ferry Mexican place what is that Mexican place behind McDonald's and shit whatever it is on Holly 100 next to Publix beside uh brew house and shit it's Tito's isn't it oh yeah Tito's yeah yeah he got in a lot of trouble we were there hanging out was I there yeah you weren't at Tito's no you were obviously at your own fucking house yeah okay we showed up here at like nine o'clock at night he was fucking wasting oh that's right that's right I remember that yeah we need to bring him on here I don't know why people think that drinking with the three people at this table is a good idea shout shout out to Mike Lord it never goes well for anyone out here Lord Michael's awesome it'd be good so I'll allow you to wrap this up I appreciate that so I think you need to have Russell Freeman on and then have Russell and the other Mike on at the same time because they're the same person.

Tim 1:47:12

And Daniel's a bitch all right so I've never met him I need you to say it Daniel's a bitch there's an after the the after show here where we continue to drink this Woodford.

Joseph 1:47:23

Thank you guys I mean I feel like at this point we might as well finish this bottle.

Tim 1:47:26

Yeah that's true. Thank you guys thank you and we'll uh have a good night this mayor good night all right see ya later