The Biggest Money Myths Holding Women Back - with Debra Morrison

Alright, friends, grab a cup of coffee and get ready to feel inspired. In this episode of Thrive After 45™, I get to sit down with the amazing Debra Morrison. 

Debra has spent over 47 years as a Certified Financial Planner and Asset Manager, and she's not just about numbers...she’s all about helping women live untethered, fulfilling lives. 

But her work goes way beyond that.

She’s a certified Grief Coach who even offered pro bono guidance to grieving families after 9/11.

She's also the author of My Husband Died Now What and Common Sense Money Guide for Women, and her TEDx talk, "Feel the Financial Fear and Do It Anyway," has inspired so many women to face their financial lives head-on. 

We talk about so many good things, like the power of community, what to do when society tells you that you're "done," and how to overcome the mindset of scarcity. 

Debra shares her belief that women can and should find their purpose again, whether that’s learning to paint, traveling, or volunteering. 

She also gives us a fresh take on wealth, breaking it down into five categories: physical, mental, relational, spiritual, and financial. 

This conversation is a powerful reminder that it's never too late to take control of your financial life and that your two most important assets are time and health. 

Debra's energy and wisdom will absolutely light a fire under you.

You'll also hear us dive into:

• Why the biggest myth about money is that you're "too old" 
• The difference between risk and return in the stock market 
• The importance of having a "why" for your saving and investing goals 
• How money buys options, not just happiness 

This episode is a must-listen if you want to shed financial shame, gain confidence, and learn how to build your own wealth, all while being a part of a powerful sisterhood. 

✨ You can find Debra online and connect with her here: 
Debra’s Baker’s Dozen of NOT-SO-OBVIOUS Financial Planning ESSENTIALS https://WCDIW.com/checklist

https://WeCanDoItWomen.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/wcdiwgroup

Instagram: @debralmorrison

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/debralmorrison 

Youtube: www.youtube.com/@DebraLMorrison

Thank you for spending time with me today on the Thrive After 45™ podcast! If this episode spoke to you, be sure to hit that follow button so you never miss one.

And if you loved it, I’d be so grateful if you left a review - it helps more amazing women like you find this show!

Your journey doesn’t stop here - let’s keep the conversation going! Connect with me at denisedrinkwalter.com, and follow @thethriveafter45podcast for daily insp, tips, and support.

Remember, midlife isn’t the end - it’s just the beginning of a new, exciting chapter! Keep thriving, keep shining, and I’ll see you next time!

Transcript

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Hello and welcome to Thrive After 45, the podcast where we redefine what is possible in midlife. I'm Denise. Drink your midlife renewal coach here to help you embrace your power, purpose, and potential. This is your space to let go of guilt, navigate transitions, rediscover joy and thrive. For you by you because of you. It is such an honor and a real privilege to welcome and introduce Debra Morrison to the show today. With over 47 years of experience as a fiduciary, certified financial planner and asset manager, Deborah has helped. Thousands of women confidently manage their money and live untethered, fulfilling lives. Her work extends far beyond numbers, offering pro bono guidance to grieving families after nine 11, becoming a certified grief coach and standing beside her clients through some of life's. Most difficult seasons. She is the author of, my Husband Died Now What and Common Sense Money Guide for Women and has appeared on C-N-N-A-B-C Fox and in the Wall Street Journal. Good Housekeeping and many more. Her TEDx talk. Feel the financial fear and do it anyway, continues to inspire women to face their financial lives with courage and clarity. Deborah brings wisdom, warmth, and a refreshing perspective to every room she enters, and today is no exception. Deborah, welcome to Thrive after 45. Thanks, Denise. I'm already thriving with that intro. Appreciate you. My pleasure. Let's dig in and start from, not the beginning, but give us a sense our, our listeners, a sense of where you are coming from these days more specifically. Right. Well, I was very curious. Give us a start, but not at the start because it was child labor. I mean, it's like, yeah, we'll, we'll go way back, but yeah. Yeah, we're not, you know, we're not gonna go there, uh, yet. Uh, where I am, uh, operating now is, is in a, uh, in a era and a chapter era, and a chapter of possibility. Mm. And, uh, ageism has been so prevalent in our society, at least in the United States of America and most of the North American, uh, population that women have been shuffled to the sidelines. Our use value is kind of like, all right, we're kind of done with you. You had the kids, you had the grandkids. And I am on a mission to bring the women out of the sidelines and into the spotlight and to use one of your, of, uh, phrases, I believe and fan the embers. So that they can find the spark and and enliven that spark in them to go ahead and start to learn how to paint or to sing or to play the piano or go into a more of a travel schedule or tutor a child or volunteer in the local whatevers to. Enliven them and to buttress Denise their purpose. Because absent purpose, we can kind of, you know, shrink into ourselves in a much smaller version than God and the universe ever intended us to be. And so I want us to, maybe we're gonna grow into ourselves because the focus for women has been so outward as you well know that it's a real. Change for women to actually, and I always have this near me, a, a heart mirror to turn the, uh, uh, focus on ourselves. And I'm saying, you not only have permission, sisters, I'm your cheerleader. Let's get at this. How it's so true and how is a good way to even begin? Do you have something that you can share with the audience that you know is working really well for women? Because it's not our normal. It's not what we do, and it's not because we don't want to, it's because of exterior. You've already mentioned the exterior is pushing against us and we're always having to push and fight and we just are kind of like, I'm done with this. I'm, I'll be fine. I'll just do my thing. I've got the house, I've got the car, I've got the kids, I've got, I should be just happy, but there's something deep that's not working. What types of things do we start to do to figure this out? Well, I am want to use analogies a lot because yeah, when you talk about finance, they, they start to say, yeah, that's not me. And, and really finance is so common sense, and I say, uh, probably 98% of the people in the obituaries didn't plan on being there yesterday. Mm. And when you calculate that, but by the grace of God, uh, I could have been dead. I could be dead. Then it, it draws us into a new appreciation, I think, for the present. We talk about open the present, and it's a present, it's, we gotta open it and, and, and, and revel in it. And I don't wanna diminish that because it's really true. In so much as I've lost quite a few friends and I lost a friend, uh, one month ago, a dear friend of over 30 years. My, my, my bad Mike isn't right where I want. And so our understanding of the present is, is heightened by losing someone close to us and we think, oh my gosh. That that can happen, right? We talk about, and we joke about getting old and eh, and we have, when we go through organ recitals or this hurts and ah, and yet we're gonna age if we're lucky. Yeah. And I want us to be as prepared as we can as we age. And so I speak of wealth in five categories. Denise. I speak of wealth as physical, uh, mental. Relational, spiritual, and financial. And I always say financial as, because when you say wealth, everybody gets things Greenbacks. And then what do most people say? Green bags, I don't have enough. And what does that put us in? It puts us in a negative mindset, a scarcity mindset. That is never going to change until we change the channel up here and we imagine that we are worth it. We can achieve goals and dreams. We don't have. They don't. Don't all take money. No, they do not. But it's a matter of us envisioning ourselves in our fullness. Having a curiosity that extends beyond the present in order to really come into bloom. And it often is enhanced by women around us. So I have a group Facebook group, and you have your own group, and these groups are very good. Breeding grounds for women to say, I did that. You can do it too. I picked up paintbrush and look at my latest painting. And you're like, darn, that's good. And then you go and you pick up your paintbrush or you pick up your recording device, or you start typing your book and your anthology or whatever floats your boat or you have a curiosity about. So I think that numbers help. The sisterhood helps because society has a very strong voice of saying. Nah, you're too old. No. Mm-hmm. No. Mm-hmm. All right. You're outta here. You know, maybe, and companies still have these age requirements that, uh, once you're a certain age, you, you know, you're just freaking fired. You're laid, you're laid off, you're fired, and you're retired. Right? And so I want us to be political in. The framework that our voice, we, we vote. Yeah. And yet our vote. I always say, I don't care who you voted for, that's yesterday year. Now where's your voice? And if our voice is taking a stand for women and women's rights to be the full people that we can be, because it's not that way now in the legislature, then I think we are buttering our own bread. Yeah. And. Who better to do it than us as women, because we know where the blocks are right now. We experience them. Yeah. We have the wisdom and we've skinned our knees enough. And so instead of saying, huh, I, you know, I lost$2,000 in the stock market eight years ago, you know, and say, wait, I lost$2,000 in stock market. And, and I, and I'm surprised it wasn't more, I was not taught. I did the best I could. I worked with what I had, and now I have a whole new reservoir of opportunity and resources. And so I'm committed to continuing this investment process and, and creating my own wealth. And I teach women exactly how to make money. I mean, step by step. So this aspect of, uh, escaping from the scarcity mindset Yeah. And imagining ourselves, and it might take a little bit of a stretch for us to say. I am wealthy, I deserve my goals and objectives. Try it on there. Right? Yeah. I love, I love the idea of putting it into verbalization, putting it into writing, putting it in out there so that it doesn't just stay in your mind because we trick ourselves in our mind, don't we? We begin to. Yeah. What about the vision board? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And have a cup. Print out a couple versions of the vision board and have it on your refrigerator. Have it on your bathroom mirror. Have a little copy on your, on your cell phone, on your wallpaper, on your cell phone, because you know, just like it, I don't have kids, but I have an imagination. But you, you're running your cart through a grocery store and the kids grabbing this and grabbing that, and you say, no, Johnny, we don't want that because we want what's in aisle six. And Johnny, Johnny goes, right, right. And he puts it back and you get to aisle six. Johnny's forgotten all about it. So we have to trick kids into. Something other than the, just the first impulse. Right? And I want us to kind of, uh, invite ourselves to imagine that instead of just hitting buy with the Amazon or like purchase and it'll be delivered to a locker within two miles of your house in 17 minutes, maybe we put that in a shopping cart and let it season for an overnight and tomorrow we look at it and say, didn't really need that as much as, and my, my vision board comes up as much as I want that lake house in three years. You see? Right? It's that substitute. Maybe you don't want this right now. Even as easy as it is, click boom. Got it. Right. And now we actually have an imagination. And Denise, a belief it's possible because Right, it is. Yeah. And thank you for creating the community piece because Do trying to do this alone. It's a lone wolf. It's lone wolfing. Doesn't work. It is right. Yeah. Yeah. What are the biggest, biggest myths about money that hold women in particular from realizing the life of their dreams? That boathouse, that cottage, that trip, that second home. What that. Creative outlet of, I always wanted to be an artist idea what holds women back from, from their fullness. I think, and, and there are so many. So I'll just throw out a couple and hope that something latches and, and, and, and, and relates, uh, to our listeners. And that is this whole, I'm too old and I never, I, yeah, I keep math and this whole defeatist I, uh, idea that has to go. And I say, you probably didn't know a thing about soccer until your granddaughter bounded through the door and said, grandma, I'm going out for soccer, and pretty soon you're calling off sides from the bleachers in two weeks. Ooh, very good. I love that analogy. You know? Yeah. There's impetus for you to know soccer because you love your granddaughter. How about we love ourselves? You know, you get into an airplane and the captain never gets on and says. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, if the cabin should lose pressure, men put your own oxygen masks on first. Women look to the left, put their oxygen mask on. Look to the right, put their oxygen mask on. Stand up. Look at the people in front of you. Put their oxygen mask on. Stand up. Look behind you. Put their oxygen mask on. If you still might have air, put your own oxygen mask on. Mm-hmm. No. Yeah, the airlines have spent millions and billions of dollars on safety, and that is until you can breathe, you can't help other people. And when I have women saying, no, not inclined to care about my money and so forth, then you know, I almost wanna ask, you know, which of your kids. Are you gonna wanna live with? Because I'm not sure that the feeling could be mutual and not in not all the cases would it be mutual. And so I don't wanna be too cute about it, but I also don't want to kick the can down the road imagining that something is gonna come out of thin air that we haven't imagined yet and gonna quote unquote, rescue a person. We, I've never had a circumstance and a woman, never. Big word. That I couldn't help get onto a trajectory to meet her goals. Never. 47 years people. 47 years. Come on. So we, we can do this. Women. That is my whole mantra. We can do it. Yeah. Women. And sometimes you write down, you see like a lot of times, Denise, I'll ask people, what, what, what are we saving for? What are we investing for? What's the why? Right. I take us back to our life purpose. What's our why? Because absent a why we don't have as much verve and energy to pop out of bed in the morning and get at it. And if we don't have a why for this, then we're probably not gonna save and invest so much. But if we have a couple why's. We start achieving one or two of them in the near term that is going to give us a bedrock on which we build our confidence. And then the compounding, which Einstein called the eighth one of the world works while we sleep. That's what they call it, earning money while you sleep. And the issues, the dividend and then the base and the dividend issues. Ano gets another dividend at month two and month three and month four. And that's how we actually make magic. With money, financial investments, I'm here to teach anybody that is eager to shed the shame. Mm-hmm. Who is eager to actually take responsibility for their life and say, I'm worth it. Right. How do we get started? Love it. And that's exactly, widows come into my office and said, I made a horrible mistake. Mistake. Right. The image is a big metal state. Totally. And I say, okay, Bessie, you know, you made a misstep. Uh, and what is it? It's just on, on, on January 2nd, you know, 2000, I lost$8,000 in stock market. I said, okay, Bessie, on January 2nd, 2000 yellow,$8,000 stock market. What else that, that's all she said. I said, now Bessy, if that's all, we're great. And you know, Bessie Hope and her eyes. How do we get started? Hmm. That my friends is a life changing moment. Mm-hmm. Because Bessie will never be the same. Bessie's finally found an environment and you, we can do it as a sisterhood. You don't have to be a financial professional. We can find each other and we can seek out each other to say, if that's the biggest misstep you ever made, we're golden. Yeah. We somehow think that we're in this little utopia and all of our mis steps are exemplified and amplified, and they're way bigger than anybody else's. Yeah, this is nonsense. Life is short. Mm-hmm. Let's be real. And if you're under saved, then I wanna know it because I got strategies to help you with being under saved, and I'm gonna protect you from those. A marketing efforts that are steered right towards vulnerable people, especially widows. And the marketing vernacular is under saved need to catch up. Here's your get rich quick scheme, run like the devil and the other way. So we need to be judicious, especially if we're under saved. And yet there's never, and I did repeat this, been a situation that I couldn't give a woman a new trajectory and in vibe. And she will imbibe hope and direction and purpose. And it's so interesting that when we get our money right. Then other things start to pick up and people say, you know, you dropped 12 pounds. Yeah, I, yeah. And I'm saving systematically. I'm paying myself first. I drop 12 pounds. I walk every other day around the block and uh, I'm eating less processed food. You know what? Because once we think we're worth it, then we better prepare ourselves to be here for the long time, long term. And I hope to be there with you. Arm in arm. Send R. Red Rover. Red Rover, send anything over. Yeah. Love that. Love Red Rover. Oh my gosh. When's the last time I've heard that? As a former educator, we never got to let the kids play it, but I love that game. Oh. I was up from the farm, boy, I do anything right. But yeah, that was my thing. So that's the idea is for us to team up with each other. Because you don't think the guys are teaming up with each other. Yeah, they are. And so we, it's incumbent upon us to nurture ourselves. Yeah. And, and use our intuition, which women are hardwired with. And women are hardwired with common sense. And that's really what money's about. So there are certain financial terms that one would be wise to know. I list them in the back of my book. My husband died. Now what? There's a glossary at the back, right? There's references, uh, email and, and internet references for everything from camps to, uh, you know, widow grief recovery groups to travel, et cetera. And I am certainly an advocate of women doing what we can to bond with other women. It, it's. It's a remarkable synergy. It's remarkable. Yeah. It's that in and of itself. Has the capacity to make changes within that environment, doesn't it right now? Like powerful, accomplished, empowering changes for the women who connect and collect for a, I'm not gonna say a higher purpose, but for a better purpose.'cause there are women that collect and it's just a grump session then that doesn't. Grow anyone. This is not anything like that. This isn't, woe is me about my finances isn't, isn't. Woe is me about, well, I'm aging. It's the counter opposite. And what do we get to do for you? By you because of you in that collective, right? I love that for you. By you, because of you, everybody just let's take that to heart for you, by you because of you. That's how the world is gonna change one woman at a time. Yeah. And it will, it, it, it's, it is, it is. We have the power. Yeah. And to, and the likes of you to create such capacity. To hold a space that is judgment free, to hold a space that has such wisdom, knowledge, and experience, and your energy is just beyond. I love it. I'm so thrilled to have you here with us. Yeah. Can I speak in one more time? Yes, please Do. A myth. A myth. A myth. It is so horrible. Women sometimes had watched television. Sometimes a prospective client would come into my office and say, well, we watch two hours of CNBC each day. And I think to my, I chew in the inside of my cheeks, say, whoa, I'm gonna disabuse you of that. Right? So the fact is, what women have read about and they've seen on TV and they've seen that the. Financial pundits, their veins popping, and they, the market is crashing. The market is crashing. And, and women are like, they're saying that with such convention conviction. It's like, uh, that, that's serious. I, I, it must mean I should quote unquote do something and I should sell because I'm afraid and I'm nervous. And they sell at the bottom when the market is dri dropping and they lose money, per se. Now. Women have been fed this and these images, and they're, they're, they're in your face. The, the, the neck veins popping is no exaggeration. And the fear of that is such that they only know one R word associated with the stock market risk. But you know what? Risk is intertwined with return. And the only reason that people. Do not invest in the stock market for longer term investment objectives is because they have forgotten that risk is the currency for return, and there's a whole lot more return in the stock market. The last 80 plus years, the stock market has averaged eight to 10%. The last 80 years, the bond market has averaged four, four to 5%. Even with the new math stocks returned double, double. Hmm. Are we tracking double such that when women have the myth that stocks are risky and I could lose my money and bonds are safe and I'll never lose my money? That has to be disabused now because you can lose money in bonds. Yes, you can both truly because interest rates and bond prices are an inverse relationship. So as interest rates go, uh, up bond prices go down. So you could lose actual principle. I know this is a, is a clue phone to many people, but the other loss in investing uniformly in bonds to the exclusion of stocks for the long term is inflation and taxes will supersede the interest rate that you're getting on your bond. You're wondering why then you're gonna sink instead of swim when you're retired. I remember Nicole ice cream cones. I remember 29 cent gas. If you think inflation is going away, I disagree. Inflation is gonna be with us. And the only investment beside real estate that has bested inflation and taxes over the long term is stocks. And it's a high time that we learn that stocks are our friend. We wanna be judicious about managing our risk. Yes, we do. That's why you get a fiduciary advisor, not a person that's gonna earn a commission. Nope. I don't want any out of our listeners paying their brokers boat payment or their insurance agents boat payment, buying a big, fat commission loaded annuity or life insurance policy? Nope. Seek out a fiduciary planner whose objective is your objective? Get advice on low cost, no load investments that will build and compound to give you the returns medium to long term that you deserve. And that's how you're gonna turn your investing into much more profitable investing And. Mostly let's set our sights and our goals on what we're gonna feel when we get there, how we're gonna feel to get on a plane or get in the car and visit our grandkids while they have the concert or the soccer game instead of seeing it on Zoom. Those are life's memories and that's what people remember on their deathbed, not I wish I would've been the standard and poor. Yeah. Yeah. So in the, in the, in the aspect that money buys options, I'm not saying money buys happiness. There probably wouldn't be any divorces, but money buys options. Yeah. And so with more money, especially if we lose parts of our health, we can engage in various and sundry other options, which is a mercy. And so I have, I've been without money and I've been with money. I can assure you there's a real different feeling in both scenarios. Much prefer to have the options. Right, right. I love that. I love that. You hear all the time, money creates happiness, money creates options, and you get to choose what you want to do with that, right? Yeah. De. Is there anything you would love to share with the audience that we haven't talked about? We could go on, I know, but I want to make sure that the audience hears something from you that you feel would be really a great way for you to give the information you really wanna hone in on so that our listeners and in the show notes. All of your information will be there, and we'll make sure that people can find you and contact you and join your group. We can do it women. Yay. Help build your passion and dream. Yeah, there is. Um, and, uh, two things actually. I was taken to the New York Stock Exchange at age nine by my aunt. And I looked down on the floor and my nose was pressed against the plexiglass and all that fist pumping and shouting, and the lights and the flashing, and I said, then at age nine I said, I wanna be part of that energy. And ever since I think of money as energy. And so we, we give money, we pay money, and we pay bills. We pay someone else, we receive money. And when money is flowing, everything is good. The great recession, 2007, eight money banks stop lending as big stoppage, et cetera. It's a bad thing. So money like blood and like water, it's best when it's flowing. So I want us to be a part of that energy. And then the second thing is it was a life changing moment for me. I think I have very good intuition and I'm grateful to God for it. I'm on live CNN across from Stuart Varney, 1999. He says, we had some dead time for some reason. And he says, Deborah, tell us, uh, your best investment. Well, what is going through my mind? I'm like, what in the world would I say? And I literally said, God, give me something to say. What do I say? A stock, a piece of real estate? An out from my lips came. Stewart, I have two assets in life. My two most important assets in life are time and health. And I don't wanna waste either one of them. Whoa. He says, we have a financial planner across the Chiron. Deborah Morrison, CFP have a financial planner. You're talking about time and health. He had to take a station break. He was that flustered and I got in the limo to come back home and I said, thank you, God. Yeah. Yeah. Since then I've used that because absent our health. This isn't so valuable, right? So time which we, we have no idea how much time we have and we really don't know how much health we're gonna have until the day we say, you know, sorry, you know, see it later. And I want us to be judicious about putting the most life into our years, the most value into our time. And to bring our health up to a par where it will last as long as we do, because that's gonna make things a lot more fun. And we are going to be, um. Continuously active participants in our family's life. We're not gonna be over there in a wheelchair where people say, oh, it is too much father to bring Aunt Ruth over here. Wait, wait, no. We're gonna be on the floor playing with the kids and the grandkids and the nieces. And so time and health are my two biggest assets, and I don't wanna waste either one of them. Beautiful. Oh. Golden Golden. Thank you so, so much, so much. If there's been something in today's conversations with Deborah that spoke to you,'cause I know there's more than one thing, so I know there's multiple, there is for me, things are stirring. I'm telling you it's possibly stirred a memory or sparked a new thought or simply reminded to you that you are valuable. You are not alone. And when you do it for you, by you, because of you, everyone wins. It is just the beginning and that's what we want to let you know inside becoming her. The mentor membership that I've created. Space for women just like you to explore who they are now, who they're becoming, and how to n it all. Navigate it all with grace, strength, and support. If you loved this episode, please take a moment to follow the show. Leave a review, share it with a friend who might need to hear this today. Your journey matters, your voice matters, and we'll see you right back here next week for you. Bye, you. Because of you. Thank you so much, Deborah, again, for your wisdom. Thank you, Denise.