Thrive After 45™

From Panic Attacks to Purpose - with Linda Mallard

• Denise Drinkwalter • Season 3 • Episode 30

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This episode is for anyone who has ever felt lost, like a part of you disappeared to keep the peace. 

I sat down with my dear friend, Linda Mallard, a transformational coach for midlife women. Linda's story is a beautiful, raw journey of a midlife reinvention - from building a successful Pilates business for 25 years to completely reinventing her life after a series of profound personal losses and transitions.

Linda is known as "the woman who helps you come home to yourself", and you’ll hear exactly why. 

She shares how her body began speaking to her through sickness and anxiety , telling her she was out of alignment. This wake-up call led her to a journey of healing and growth, culminating in a powerful moment where she found a strength she never knew she had.

We talk about:

  • Why you are not broken and have nothing to fix.
  • How your body is a friend that speaks the truth.
  • The incredible ripple effect that happens when you live your truth unapologetically.
  • How to feel into your body to find clarity and break free from old, stuck patterns.
  • Why midlife is the perfect time to choose yourself and start your second act.

This episode is a loving nudge to listen to your body, trust yourself, and find the courage to live a life you truly love. It’s a reminder that you have a powerful, courageous self waiting to be uncovered.

Connect with Linda Mallard:

Thank you for spending time with me today on the Thrive After 45™ podcast! If this episode spoke to you, be sure to hit that follow button so you never miss one.

And if you loved it, I’d be so grateful if you left a review - it helps more amazing women like you find this show!

Your journey doesn’t stop here - let’s keep the conversation going! Connect with me at denisedrinkwalter.com, and follow @thethriveafter45podcast for daily insp, tips, and support.

Remember, midlife isn’t the end - it’s just the beginning of a new, exciting chapter! Keep thriving, keep shining, and I’ll see you next time!

Speaker:

Welcome to Thrive after 45. The podcast for women ready to expand, embody their truth, and shine unapologetically in the second half of life. I am Denise Drink Walter heart whisperer, midlife mirror and mentor. Every week I am honored to share energy and space with inspiring guests whose stories reflect so many possibilities of thriving beyond 45. Together we'll uncover the whispers of the heart. The power of midlife transformation and the wisdom that fuels expansion. What happens when a woman who has guided thousands in wellness and recovery chooses to completely reinvent her own life today, on thrive after 45, I am honored. And privilege to welcome and reintroduce Linda Millard, a transformational coach, energy medicine expert and somatic healing practitioner who has devoted more than 30 years to helping others reclaim their vitality purpose and joy. Linda began as a pioneer in Pilates rehabilitation and injury recovery, building a thriving 25 year business. But in 2015, life her deeper. Through personal loss and profound transition, she stepped away from success to follow her soul's true path. And since then, she's become certified in RTT, hypnotherapy, somatic therapy, energy codes, coaching, remote healing, and more. Bridging ancient wisdom with neuroscience in ways that have over 10,000 lives worldwide. Her mission to guide high achieving women and professionals in transition out of burnout, brain fog, and survival mode. And into embodied presence, clarity, and a life they truly love. Linda is known simply as the woman who helps you come home to yourself, body, mind, and soul. Linda, what an honor to share this space with you today.

Speaker 2:

Thank you. So beautiful to be here, Denise. Thank you for this most amazing introduction. And, uh, you know, we met a couple of years ago and, uh, you know, we, we had touched on these transitions and now two and a half years later, we're continuing to grow and evolve and, uh, touch lives. Um, so it's so beautiful to be back in conversation with you.

Speaker:

It, it re I can't believe it's been two years. I can, but I can, you know how time just like slips through our hands and with everything that you have done over your years and lifespan to this point.'cause I know there's no finish line for you and your learning. Isn't it incredible when we come home to ourselves and the power that exists when we live in the now? Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. It's the living in the now and being connected with what matters to you most. Being connected to your values and, and that check-in of what is in alignment with what matters to me now and being true to that.

Speaker:

Yeah. Yeah. I, I, I love what you're saying around the values. I have a lot of conversations with women, and they're like, values, well, yes, family that, but it just, it, it's like it spills out, but it's not connected to their inner being. Is that a lot of. Work that you support is helping women really come home to themselves through a value lens as possible. One avenue to explore.

Speaker 2:

Uh, it, it's, it is actually a hundred percent of that because when we actually come back home to ourselves, that is to root in ground of I am mm. Many people come to me saying, Linda, I wanna be more enlightened. I wanna, I wanna this higher level of consciousness. And the invitation is that we are already that as pure consciousness, but what we're spending our lifetime here to do is to awaken. To our own magnificence of who am I and the sense of I belong. This is my gig. I've got it. And that's that root chakra that we're coming home to root and ground into who we are. It's heart and soul and, and to discover what it is that, that we're here to, to give and to offer and that destiny and legacy of what it is. We're here to also share with others.

Speaker:

I love that. I love that your passion is pouring through yourselves. Like it it, I can feel it. I can see you because we are recording this and it does go onto YouTube, but I can also feel it as you're speaking. I feel the exchange. I feel my cells in my body activating. So thank you for bringing this conversation to such a depth so quickly. I appreciate that in ways you can't begin to imagine.

Speaker 2:

Well, and, and this is what's so beautiful about being in conversation with with others. Um, around what is consciousness and what is it that we're here to do and, and what connects deeply to our soul because it keeps us in touch with that. And so I always feel blessed to be able to teach me in my mentorship group. It's sort of a, a mentorship container, if you will, and be in conversation with you because it reminds us and keeps us connected to, to that. And so we're constantly evolving and leveling up. Elevating our levels of consciousness. And when we're, uh, conscious, we are awake, we are aware, and once we're awake, we cannot go back to sleep. Mm. And, and it just, the work just goes deeper and deeper until we're reaching so deeply into our soul that what shows up is, is, is who we are. The masks come off. Hmm. And, and we're actually able to really show up truly as our authentic self courageously, unapologetically. And when we do that, everybody benefits.

Speaker:

The ripple effect is incredible, isn't it? Mm-hmm. Yeah. And. I've noticed when these transformations occur and we go inward, I get a lot of people, a lot of women in particular going, ah, isn't that ecocentric? If I start to center on myself and I'm, the conversation happens around how it's not, but the experience speaks way louder than the words I find. Tell me more

Speaker 2:

about that. Dive into that a little bit, if you don't mind.

Speaker:

Absolutely. So we can talk about it, but until we do the action and participate in going deeper within ourselves and what that really is, it's a journey. And it's not a one time dip in, got it. Now we can move forward. It's a way of being within ourselves that speaks way louder. And what I find is the ripple effect that occurs when my energy changes. All those in my sphere of influence, which I used to believe were those who I have common, consistent contact with. I am now noticing it's a wider. Universal energy that's happening. It's not just those within my sphere of influence, it's universally influenced. Our conversation today has influenced way beyond what my brain can imagine, but I feel it.

Speaker 2:

Yes, absolutely. Well, and everything is energy. This is the piece, right? We have 11 billion bits of information coming into our cells per second, per millisecond, and, and this energetic connection that we, we feel with each other, that we think of someone and they call or we run into them in the grocery store and it's like, I was just thinking about you. I was just, this is, this is the energetic connection that is not woowoo. It is scientifically bat. And so when we look at. Everything is energy that we can, we can actually be at the cause. As creator of our life. Mm. In that your life is a reflection of your energy, and you alluded to that, um, in, in what you said around, you know, I shift myself and then the world out there shifts around me. And so when life, your life is a reflection of your energy, when life is flowing, when it's working, when you're connecting with people, when you're feeling like on your game. It's because the energy in here is moving. Mm-hmm. And so when life out there, we come up against these challenges and these roadblocks, it's like looking back inside and going, ah, what's happening within me? Where am I resisting? Where in my body do I need to build the circuitry? What is it that this is happening? That I'm here to learn, to awaken to my magnificence, and this is the power that we have to, to create our life. And I also love this, this, this piece because this is the power of that. I am in control of my life. Mm. Yes. I am creator of my life and, and we're not giving our energy away to others. We're actually saying, oh. What is it that I'm here to awaken to so that we start to come from a place of curiosity versus fear and all of a sudden the whole world opens up and we start to attract what it is that we want. I love

Speaker:

that. So true. What's, what's been an experience where you could speak to specifically so our audience can go, oh my gosh. She gets this. She's really speaking from experience here.

Speaker 2:

Uh, an experience of how my life has shifted because my energy has shifted. Yeah. Um, so much and it's around the stepping into, into my own. Power and my beingness. So I was, um, I was married uh, for 22 years. I have three beautiful children, and the marriage was, um, it was challenging. Um, my husband, um, was, was a bully in many ways. He, uh, dealt, lived with bipolar, and as a result of that, I started to lose myself, to keep the peace in the family. Sure. I started to lose who I was, lose my voice as a way of, um, just, just kind of coping, getting through the day and putting a mask on that Yeah. Everything's okay for, for the family, for our friends. What started to show up for me as I got sick. I dealt with anxiety. I had panic attacks. I thought I was having heart attacks landing in hospital, so my body was speaking so loudly. You are not in alignment with yourself. I didn't understand at the time I was young and I hadn't gone into this work. I didn't understand at the time what was happening. I didn't know the word anxiety. And in my last hospital visit, um, the, the doctor said, oh, it's just anxiety. And I'm like, I don't even know what that means. And I went into my, my work, I had a Pilates and rehabilitation studio. I was with a, a, a client who was a spiritual coach, and she's like, what is going on? I said, I don't know what's wrong. She said, Linda, nothing is wrong. There's nothing to fix. Your body is speaking to you. And it is time for you to listen and partner with your body. And so I hired her as a coach. And when we started to lift under the hood, we could see what was going on right from childhood, why I made decisions that I did, how I was in survival mode in coping. And it was in that moment where I discovered for myself, she guided me, but I discovered for myself. What was happening, and that's when I started to heal and grow. And over time I gained the strength. I set things up so that I could powerfully leave the marriage right in a loving, connected way. Hmm. And, and from there, the growth and being able to stay grounded and be true to who I am and take care of myself. And, and deal with what it was that I needed to deal with around the marriage. Being a mother, running a business, um, I, I, that was really the start for me. Mm. Um, of, of living authentically who I am as me. And then there, there's many stories throughout the journey as I move through, but that was, that was the one of getting nothing's wrong. There's nothing to fix. The power is in here and my body is my friend. It's there. Speaking the truth for me. I love

Speaker:

that. I do have a question that's coming up for me. Is there a part of your journey that you haven't talked about that really did change you on the inside?

Speaker 2:

Um, yes. So, uh, 11 months after leaving my marriage, my husband became sick and he passed away within, within 11 weeks of, uh, the diagnosis. So we were no longer together, but we were still married. And, you know, the separation was very raw. Um, and when we had separated, uh, he was very angry and he lashed out and started spreading stories to his family. And so there was all these things to deal with. And before he passed, I had said to him, you need to clean this up with your family because I am going to be left having to, you know, be in relation with them, with our children. Uh, anyway, he passed. He never cleaned it up. And in the process of, of dealing with his passing, having to sell the house and things that his family was doing, literally ransacking the house, um, giving things away, squatting in the home. I found a part of me that I did not know existed and that part of me that rose up. Was this, this stand for what mattered most? The stand of being a stand for myself, which I had never done in the marriage. A stand for my children, but it was in a place of love and really wanting to connect with everybody. In his family such as that we could move this through this together. And when I rose up and was speaking for myself, speaking for my children, saying what mattered, saying no, that's when I realized that there was a part of me that was in there that was strong. Hmm. That was courageous. And that I was able to communicate from a place of love. Wow. And that's when my whole life changed. Wow. So thank you for, I've, I've actually never shared the story in that way, so thank you for asking that because I just, I found a part of me that I didn't know existed.

Speaker:

Yeah. And that my body is tingling right now because that's the work.

Speaker 2:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker:

Uncovering and discovering the you that exists in there that is ready to come out. And when that happens, everything shifts. Things shift before things shift after. But that's the pillar, the foundation that allowed you to go, wow, that's me.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I didn't even recognize myself because I, yeah. Who's that? Like, wow. And at the end of, you know, that time in life and even today, I look back and I feel so proud, right? Of myself. I'm like, I dealt with that time. From a place of groundedness, connection and love. Yeah. And I'm so proud of how I did it now. It took having support, it took having the clarity, it took a practice of checking in and rituals and meditation. Um, and, and this is what transformation is, right? You know, we talk about the transformation from a caterpillar to a butterfly. But what happens in, in between those two is the chrysalis. Right where there is a transformation and a change where it's like, I am different now. I can't go back. I don't want to go back. And that transformation leaves us with this, these pearls of wisdom. And what is wisdom is, is taking our life experiences and growing from them, learning and then sharing it. That is wisdom.

Speaker:

And two things I wanna say from that analysis, which is beautiful, by the way. What I'm envisioning is the chrysalis, the outside can't see, but the the being inside the chrysalis is feeling it all. Yeah. Right.

Speaker 2:

And we are here to feel everything. Yes, we're here to feel joy, anger, um, frustration, uh, love. We're here. All of these feelings, even the feeling of fear is, uh, we, it's, it's, it's, it's the juices, the elixir of life. And when we connect to the feeling in the body. This is the embodiment piece. Yeah. This is the, the, the, the piece that if, you know, we're not a mind, we have a mind, we're not a body, we have a body. We are we, we are that body, mind, and spirit. And when we're connected to all of that. And it comes through the embodiment, the soul, the spirit that who you are at your essence speaks to the body. And that's where we get that, that instinct, that that intuition, that space of this is a yes, this is or no, or I've gotta go for this, even though I don't know how it's gonna work out, or I don't know how. I know, I just know. Mm-hmm. And it's having that connection. The body speaks to the mind, to tell the mind what to action on. And when we're connected to that, that is where we literally feel like we can move mountains. Yeah. Yeah. It's not here. This is, this is not, this is, you know, I spent years thinking that with this running the show, the

Speaker:

head,

Speaker 2:

she's pointing at the head. Yeah. The head right. And the head is not there. Running the show. We need the mind to make sense of the world, but when we connect to who we are, at our essence, we, we come into the body and we might name a feeling of, oh, I feel. I'm feeling frustrated right now. Ah, where in my body does my mind go? It goes to my heart, right? To open the heart space through the breath and ask if this was happening for me to awaken to a greater, uh, purpose or a greater meaning of who I am. What would that be? And, and this is, this is the connection. This is where we, we evolve and we awaken, and we, we live our truth.

Speaker:

Yeah. And. Everyday events occur, but you enter into those events differently in a different level, in a different capacity. You're able to sift and sort when you are aligned to yourself in the deepest way, and it's a journey. It's a journey.

Speaker 2:

It is. And, and you know, as I'm working with clients and, you know, they're, they're learning this work. They're, they're new to this work, and they're like, why does the same thing, you know, the same thing keeps coming up. And I'm like, ah, but we're always evolving. Mm-hmm. And we're always shifting and growing and awakening these baby steps that you talk about. And what starts to happen is that. As we're becoming aware, you know, these experiences that happen over and over again is, is, is, is life saying, Hey, there's something for you to get here. There's something for you to learn here. And what happens is that we get to the right, thank you faster. Right. As we're awakening and learning, it's like maybe there's a pattern or something that it's like, oh, there's that thing again. Right, right. I know what that is. Ah, I'm gonna do it differently this time. And we get to that. Ah, I know what that is. And then we, we rather than like going, whoa. Right. It's all of a sudden the ride's smoother. And, and that pattern shifts and we start to do things differently. And then we stop attracting the same personality. We stop repeating old patterns and behaviors, and that is the old you and we start to evolve and shift into the new You and I have a little interesting thing, awakening that I had not too long ago, and I caught myself in a conversation with a friend. Saying not great things about myself, you know, I'm not super comfortable in large social environments. And, and, and then later I reflected and I'm like, wait a minute. That's the old me that was showing up again. And so I picked up the phone and called her and I said, Hey, I just wanna share something for me. Mm-hmm. But I'd like you to witness it, that what I said about myself in that conversation. Is the old me. Mm-hmm. And how I choose to show up now is this. And so I just wanna uplevel, upgrade myself in my consciousness by saying that I'm no longer showing up as that.

Speaker:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

And thank you for being the opening in the space for me to actually close the door on, on that. This is how I show up as a new evolved self. And it, it was this deep awareness. I went home and I'm like, God, I didn't like that person who showed up for that, that little moment. So we're just gonna uplevel and upgrade here. Yeah. And that was something that happened just, you know, a few weeks ago. I love that.

Speaker:

So if somebody is feeling, um, stuck and, mm-hmm. What that really means for whatever that is for them. How could they start shifting their energy so that they're getting out of that feeling of, ah, here it is again. Yes,

Speaker 2:

yes. Here it is again. So when we're feeling stuck, it is likely an old pattern coming forward. That we're either stuck out of self-protection and we're, or we're stuck because we lack, pardon me? We lack clarity. Mm. So the, the, the first thing we can do is come into our body because in body, our body tells us everything we need to know. And if we're stuck, that we, resistance will show up somewhere in the body. So. If I think about, ah, I don't know what to do about this. Yeah. Ah, you know, that person still, and how do I, you know, how do I deal with this situation? What's that next choice? So we do a practice called Take it to the Body. So the very first things we think about, whatever it is we're feeling stuck on. Mm-hmm. And I have the, the, the person just close their eyes and you know, right away my hand likes to go to my heart and my core. But it is whatever you're called to do. And it's like when you, when you think of that question or that area that you're stuck or that part of your life that's frustrating for you, where in your body does your mind go and and they might say, oh, it's in my solar plexus, or It's in my heart, it's in my gut, and or it's in my throat. You know, it's connected to one of our chakras. And so we, we, we go into that part where we're feeling that resistance or that tension or that charge, and we start to breathe into that. Say it's a belly breath, maybe I feel it in my, in my gut, or mm-hmm. Or the heart. We open the heart and we breathe and expand into that area. So we just go into that part of us, that unloved part of us, or that part that's saying, Hey, I need some attention here. Without part of us that, that we wanna build some circuitry because maybe it's been constricted for a long time. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And we just breathe into that maybe for a minute, and then we go back and we think about whatever that thing is, where we're feeling stuck or restricted. And we say, where in your body does your mind go? Now, for some people they might say, well, it goes nowhere. It's gone. Or we might say it's less, okay, we have more work to do there. Yep. Or they might say, it's moved now. Ah, okay. We're peeling back. Nice. And so that take it to the body and connecting to the body. Where in my body does my mind go? And we literally get to where the person thinks of that thing or that person or whatever that question is, where they're feeling stuck. And it's like, I feel open and expanded. So then we can lean in with curiosity and start to ask, you know, if I was to, you know, if this is happening for me to awaken to a greater purpose, what is that? Right. If it was this or something different, what is that? Mm. We start to ask new questions of curiosity, and all of a sudden the clarity may come or it might come later down the road. But if you were to picture me holding onto a slinky and a slinky, you know it, our energy is designed to move like a slinky, right. But when things happened in our life where we don't have the circuitry to deal with it, it may have happened a long time ago. Sure. Something happened and we didn't have the. The circuitry to deal with it, or the experience or the wisdom and the energy we get, we get it collapses. Mm-hmm. Right. Maybe we, you know, speak up in class when we're in grade four. Right. And they say, you know, people, everyone laughs at us. Energy shuts down. I clamp.'cause it's not safe to speak up. Right. And I'm, that carries me through my life. And so what we're doing is we're starting to open up the energy flow and when we open up the energy flow, the answers come. All that we need to know is there. We can listen to our intuition, tap into that gut instinct. Ah right. Feel into what's right for you. Yes. I love that. So that's the first thing that we do, is we connect into the

Speaker:

body. And it's not just an action, but it is a, a process where it brings you into your inner world, into tapping into your true self, which is what we talked about at the very beginning. So it's an actionable step that you can move to when you are feeling stuck. So thank you, Linda, for such an incredible conversation. We could go on and we're g we're gonna come back together again. I know it. I know it, I feel it. Is there one message or a reminder that you would love our Thrive after 45 community to carry with them something that they could maybe lean into no matter where life is currently taking them? Yeah,

Speaker 2:

it's, it's, it's to trust. Mm, trust comes up. Trust that, that, you know, the way, trust, when you connect to the body wisdom and you feel expanded and open or you feel contracted, that, that your body is telling you what's right for you. What's a yes? What's a no, what's not yet? I need more information. And the more we connect into that and we start to trust in ourselves. That will lead us in the direction, in the right path that is best for you. And what's great best for you is best for everybody else, or right for you

Speaker:

is right for everybody

Speaker 2:

else.

Speaker:

Beautiful, beautiful. In our show notes, we'll have all the information on how to find Linda and I believe she's sharing a free gift you don't wanna miss on that one.

Speaker 2:

Yes, go head over to my website, intentional life.ca and right at the top you can, um, receive, uh, it's seven days to clarity, courage, and calm, and it's seven days of videos. That you'll receive that touch on these various topics that, um, that we discussed today. It's really about coming home to you so that we have that centering, that groundedness, that calm, that clarity to really show up authentically as you and when we do, this is where life gets juicy. It's where it gets good.

Speaker:

It's waiting for all of us. Yes. What stirred in you? Me Academy makes it sovereign. Hmm. Beautiful.

I.