STOP Letting Your Mind Run Your Life: The 3-Step System to Reclaim Your Power with Nami

Hey friend, grab a cozy seat and that mug of coffee - I have an incredible conversation to share with you! This week on Thrive After 45™, I'm so honored to introduce you to Nami, a leadership and mindset coach who is challenging us to think differently about how we lead our lives.

Nami spent over 20 years in the corporate world, building high-performing teams, but her own journey through healing and self-discovery led her to an incredible realization. It was sparked by a heartbreaking tragedy that made her ask, "What is it that truly helps us pull ourselves out of the dark?" She saw that a high IQ or EQ wasn't enough; something crucial was missing.

What she created is called The Mind Quotient (MQ), and it's a powerful framework that blends neuroscience, spirituality, and mindset to help us unlock our highest potential.

Nami calls it the third quotient, focused on the mastery of the mind, which is responsible for our mental wellbeing and how we show up every day.

The concept is beautifully simple: Self-Awareness + Self-Management.

Once you know what's going on inside you (awareness) and what works for you to manage yourself (management), you can operate at peak MQ. 

The best part is that it's not one-size-fits-all; it's about getting to know yourself and intentionally applying a framework to what you already have available to you.

Nami and I get into the real talk about how this shift starts with just looking inward, and how that realization - that you are co-creating your life and have the power to choose how you show up - is completely life-changing. 

This is such an important conversation for all of us, especially women who are looking to advocate for themselves and finally put themselves first without the guilt.

Oh, and Nami is also a phenomenal writer! We talk about her new book, "Healing with Courage: My Journey From Dark to Light," a memoir written as poetry that takes you on her journey from trauma and disconnection to spiritual awakening and stepping fully into her power.

This episode is all about reclaiming your power and realizing that the power to rise really does begin within. 

You'll want to hear Nami's one piece of advice for when you get triggered - it's simple, powerful, and a total game-changer for finding your pause and looking inward.

Get ready to feel inspired, seen, and stretched in the best way possible.

You can find Nami and learn more about her framework, the MQ Check-in, and her new book, Healing with Courage, via the following links:

🌐 www.coach-nami.com

📸 Instagram: @coach.nami

💼 Linked In

Healing with Courage Kindle

Thank you for spending time with me today on the Thrive After 45™ podcast! If this episode spoke to you, be sure to hit that follow button so you never miss one.

And if you loved it, I’d be so grateful if you left a review - it helps more amazing women like you find this show!

Your journey doesn’t stop here - let’s keep the conversation going! Connect with me at denisedrinkwalter.com, and follow @thethriveafter45podcast for daily insp, tips, and support.

Remember, midlife isn’t the end - it’s just the beginning of a new, exciting chapter! Keep thriving, keep shining, and I’ll see you next time!

Transcript

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Hello, and welcome to today's episode of Thrive after 45. I'm Denise Drink Walter heart whisperer, midlife mirror and mentor. Every week I am honored to share energy and space with inspiring guests whose stories reflect so many possibilities of thriving beyond 45. Together we'll uncover the whispers of the heart, the power of midlife transformation, and the wisdom that fuels expansion. What if the very mind that's been running your life is the same one holding your brilliance hostage? It's an honor and a privilege to welcome an introduced NAMI to our show today. AMI knows what it means to lead from the inside out. With over 20 years of experience building and leading high performing teams in the corporate world, she's seen firsthand how the mind shapes leadership. Performance and wellbeing. Her own journey through adversity, healing and self-discovery inspired her to found the mind quotient, a powerful fusion of neuroscience, spirituality, and mindset that helps leaders and change makers unlock their highest potential. As a leadership and mindset coach, NAMI has spent the last five years transforming lives around the world, more than a thousand individuals who now lead with clarity, emotional resilience, and self-awareness. Get ready to feel inspired, seen and stretched in the best way possible. This is the conversation where leadership. Meets soul and where the power to rise begins within. So wonderful to have you here today. Oh my gosh. Thank you for that powerful introduction. I don't think I need to talk anymore. Oh, yes, we do. We need to dig into the nuggets, my dear. Oh, so nice to be here with you, Denise. Oh, it's, it's wonderful. We met quite a few months ago. We did. Because the list to come on this show has been overwhelming and it's an honor to share this space with you today. Please let us know about the journey and. This creation that you have around the mind quotient. We need to dig in and understand this part further and I think we need to know how you got to creating that trademark. Yes, absolutely. Thank you. And thank you for having me the I'm honored as well. I am really excited to talk about the mind quotient. I have been here and there over the past. Few years and in fact, I feel like things are coming to fruition now. I actually just found out that our MQ check-in, which is the test for testing, you know, how your mo mental wellbeing is, uh, anytime any day actually just launched today. So timing. I know it's amazing. I just got the. Your website is live, uh, notification. So right before I got on this, so it's good timing me. Wonderful. Yay. So I, my journey did, of course, you know, the healing journey begins when you're very young. When you come here. But I think I, my awareness about the healing journey started in 2020 and it was the middle of the pandemic and I was in school to become a life coach. And at the time I was already working in my corporate career as an executive, and I felt like something was missing. So I went to life coaching school, and when I was in that community in the middle of the pandemic, what I found is that everyone in our community was thriving. And while so many people in the world were just surviving Mm. And there were things happening in, you know, there were very unfortunate things happening. I had a family members close friend and college companion actually. Um, I. Commit suicide, um, in the middle of the pandemic. And I was, you know, gutted and it was, I remember this was the day actually that the mind quotient came to be. And I, I was going right into a coaching conference and literally I heard the news very devastating, and I went right into the coaching conference and everyone there is thriving. And I was like, what? You know, what is it? Because. This person who this unfortunate thing happened to. Mm-hmm. Had a very high IQ and he had a very high eq. He was like friendly life of the party. He had just gotten engaged, you know, ophthalmology resident, like clearly brilliant in so many ways, but he couldn't pull himself out of the dark. And I have, I had young children at the time, I have three children. And I remember thinking, oh my gosh. This is the, this is the important thing. We have to be able to do this inner our work on the inside in order to pull ourselves out of the dark because dark times are going to come mm-hmm. At some point in our lives. And we can't always have a companion with us, whether it's our parent, whether it's a teacher, whether it's whoever it may be. So we, if we don't have the tools to pull ourselves out of the dark, then what is it all even worth? What does it matter? If you have a high iq, what does it matter if you like, you know, have all these friends and. When I started searching for, you know, what, if we used a standardized language around it, that would help, right? Like if all of us who are doing the support work would use the standardized language, then we could bring attention to this important work. And I started looking for it and I started researching it. So I'm a former scientist, something that I was not on my bio and very analytical, and I, yes. So I have this analytical side, I have this like communications. Experience in my corporate career. And then I have this like coaching experience of like, you know, delving on the inside and finding all the powers that we have within. Mm-hmm. And when I couldn't find the answer, that's when the mind quotient came to me because I realized that there's an opportunity to establish what I call the third quotient, which is the. Mastery of the mind, which is responsible for so much of mental wellbeing and you know, how we show up every day and how we feel when we go about the world. Mm-hmm. It's, it's broader than emotions, which is why, um, you know, it's. Builds on top of emotional intelligence, which by the way was never even called emotional quotient. We deemed it that because we like to bring a standardization to certain types of frameworks, and so yeah, that's how the mind quotient was born. It was the, the most of the concept around the mind quotient is very, very simple. It's not rocket science at all. It's just self-awareness plus self-management. If you become self-aware. Right of what's going on inside of you, and you know what you need to help yourself, whether you're feeling down, whether you are feeling great and you want to grow, in fact. Mm-hmm. You wanna achieve something, whatever you need to do to manage yourself. If you know who you are and you know how to manage yourself, you'll be operating at what I would call peak MQ or high mq. And it, a lot of it begins in the mind. Because so much of life does that, you know, begins and ends in the mind. And that's how it all started. So, um, I, I actually, in 2021, the year after I started this journey about doing all this inner work, I found out that I live with Complex PTSD and what I, so while I was going through my own. Trauma healing. I was using tools to be able to show up every day, to be able to get through the tough times, to be able to manage myself and my triggers and, you know. Create the life that I really wanted to live. And so those are the tools that I share in things such as the MQ check-in and all the other tools that we're developing. And so that's really what the mind quotient is. So with regards to the mind quotient, is it information no matter where you are, and I'm gonna, this might be off the charts here, this question, but if you were on a continuum. Which I believe we all are somewhere on this continuum of life, and where we are within that continuum is our awareness and our ability to be aware because we can't make changes until we have the awareness right. Correct. Absolutely. So, so what you provide is opportunities for people to see where they are on that quote unquote continuum and use what will actually benefit them. Is there a commonality that is available for all of us no matter where you are on that continuum? That's a great question. So one of the things that's really important is that when you are, it does begin with the self-awareness piece, which is absolutely where, so asking a lot of questions for that introspection. We'll bring that awareness. So that's what, you know, that's where we start. So if you're taking the MQ check-in, it's all introspection questions like about, I think it's 18 to 20 depending on your age. And so you ask yourself these introspection questions and then you get to a point where, okay, so now what? So now you know where you are on this continuum. So, so what do you wanna do about it? You actually don't have to do anything about it. That's the wonderful thing, right? You don't have to, if you want to, you could, what I would say boost your mq. And the thing is, is that what works for one. Is not necessarily what works for another. So if I'm feeling stuck, let's say. Mm-hmm. What, what I would do is I would probably meditate. Mm-hmm. But that's specific to me. Right. What somebody else might do to pull themselves out of feeling stuck is maybe they're gonna go for a run. Yeah. Maybe they're gonna go meet a friend, maybe they're going to go for a walk, go to the sun. Take a nap. You know, there's all different things. So what happens is you have to get to know yourself in order to know what works for you. So I would say that it's not one size fits all. Mm-hmm. But rather it's a framework. Love it. So it's framework of introspection plus. Knowing what works for you to manage yourself. That's why I talk so much, uh, very broadly about self-awareness plus self-management. Um, it's just bringing the methodology and the framework to what we already know and have available to us, but maybe are not bringing as much, uh, intention towards. And so it's love that, that intention through that framework. I love that. It, to me, what I'm hearing is the visual that just popped in my head was, you're driving your own bus. You're the driver. Absolutely. Absolutely. And you can go wherever you want to go on that bus. In fact, you don't even have to drive the bus. If you just want to sit in the bus, you can sit in the bus. Right. Because it's your journey. But once you realize, and this was, oh gosh, this was the most important thing I learned, and I, and I know we're gonna get to it, but I do talk about this in my book that's coming out is that. That piece of being able to, um, know that you have the power within to create whatever you want. Like you, it's on you. I was definitely living life, thinking life was happening to me. Mm-hmm. And I was so paying attention, so much to everything on the outside. And it was only when I turned that lens towards myself that my life changed. Because, and I'm not saying that it was all per like wonderful and rosy. Yes. All that. It definitely was not, I don't wanna give that impression at all of, but it was then on me, like, it felt like, and I say this like life turned right side up, once that clicked. Because I realized that like, oh my gosh, I'm like co-creating this. I have a role in this. I am the one who can choose how I want to show up. And that is if, if people only, if only one thing happens with the implementation of the mind quotient and people just learn to look inward, we will have done our work. Hmm. Beautiful. Uh, couple of things that are coming up for me. I wanna jump back to what you talked about in the mind quotient in terms of ages that you've got the Yes. Help me understand and our audience understand. Why did you divide it into age rages? That's a great question. My, I divided it into age ranges so that the language resonated. And so the, the biggest thing around it was how, because the questions are actually the same, but the language around them are different. And so that's purely for interpretation, and I had the best. Subjects to be able to develop this because I myself, have children in every age range. And, and so I was able to consult with them, test with them, actually create a little focus group with their friends of Does this make sense? Does this, like, how would you word this? How would you say this? How would you tell me how you're feeling right now? How would you tell me if you've had time? Have you had, have you had time to. Uh, for yourself today. That's not exactly how a teenager would say it. Right. Right. And so that's not how a child would say it. And so that's how we actually end up. So it's actually children, teens, and adults, is how it's split. Okay. Yeah, question for you because our show is for about thriving after 45. And the reason why that to me is so important and I have so many people share. Yeah. I don't know why 45 is a big number turning point for us, but it seems to be, yeah, I remember this when I was around 45, 46. Menopause post pre, you know, all the staff. Um, so I'm curious because I find as I speak to women in particular, my target audience, as we continue to build upon our wisdom. We think about life differently, we approach things differently. Our awareness, I would say, reaches a new level. Mm-hmm. Um, if we're open to it, of course, again, just like you said, it's your choice. You get to decide. So when you talk about adults. Is it the whole range of adults? Because I, I see those who are younger have a different mindset experience than those of us who are along the continuum. I don't know if that makes sense, but that's my question. Absolutely. So the content is the same because, okay, it's all foundational. So all the con content, right. When we're talking about the check check-ins, yes. So specifically when we're talking about the framework, the methodology, the content, it's all the same because it's all the same framework. Now what I would say is that where you go from there will differ beautiful.'cause the things that we're we're doing is we have different types of. Content and workshops and modalities and all of that based on target audience. So we, it's, it's D It looks different with the corporations. Sure, it looks different when you're working with individuals. It looks different with women. It looks different with men. It looks different with teenagers. So what comes next where you choose to take it? Right. Definitely differ based on where you are and your journey and how, what inner work you're looking to do and how you want to grow. And, and even in the beginning I said, you know, it may be like, oh, I'm not feeling great and I wanna pull myself out. Or it could be, I'm feeling great and I want to grow. Like that's, those are two different spaces to be in, but the methodology of working on yourself and knowing yourself and knowing what works for you will be the same. Beautiful. And so the framework is the same. Right? Where you take it is definitely going to differ. And one of the most amazing things that is happening right now is that. This mind quotient framework. I've been, you know, socializing it and working and partnering and collaborating with different people all over. So on in one hand I'm actually partnering with a, a therapist and she's bringing it into her mental health counseling practice and she is using that modality in the mental health space. And then somewhere else we're actually, um, you know, working on some self-healing cards. Which are going to go and be available for individuals everywhere. And then in another space we're partnering with corporate organizations creating like development workshops. All of these are power, love it, mind quotient. But they are all working in different ways. Yeah, because they're all self self-awareness plus self-management the same. It's the same framework, the same methodology, bringing that same language, but the actual output and where people are going with it differs quite a bit. Space to space. So I am also 45 and I am going perimenopause. I'm going through all this journey. So I very much like my personal, like if I, like I have. Um, coaching groups for women, uh, you know, women business leaders or you know, women who are looking to grow, or women who are looking for self-advocacy. Like these are some of the, the smaller group cohort, um, coaching sessions I have now. See, that's an example of where if you wanted to go deeper, like in that space, like everything is built on the same framework, but the. Focus is specifically catered and tailored towards women who are looking to advocate for themselves. Um, especially, you know, changing some of that paradigm around, um, what it's like for a woman to put herself first. Absolutely. Which is the show. Yeah. This is what we talk about. Love it. Absolutely. Doing it for you. By you because of you without the guilt, remorse. Oh, everybody else needs me. I'll put myself third, last page. Never get to it. Anyway. I'll be fine. Carry on with the Super Cape. We're trying to, and we are moving the needle on that concept. And your conversation today is absolutely, absolutely brilliant because it total alignment of what we're doing now. That was me. That was me until 20. I, I don't think, I mean, I don't even know where I was on that. I was not third, I was like way, way, way down. I don't actually, I don't even think I made it on the list. Yeah. Because I never thought about myself and so. If, if I am, like if I'm a woman, any woman who is not thinking about herself and she were to take the MQ check-in, all of a sudden she would start. Mm. That's where I started. That's why I did it, because that woman who has so much, she has her own superpowers. She has so much to give to the world. Yeah. Who's not tapped into herself because she's thinking about every single other person before herself. It just starts with thinking about herself, just answering questions about yourself. If you just start there, it will shift. That's what, because that's what I did. Perfect. Perfect. So good. Because when we do this work, and it's I, from my perspective, and share what your experience is, please. But from my perspective, this is not hard. It's not as scary as our amygdalas are pretending it is. Right? Yes. If you were listening to my show, I can't remember the episode with Tim Tero and he talked about the almond shaped amygdalas at the back of our brainstem, and they just run on default. That's what they're for, but let's quiet that noise and go into our frontal cortex and actually do this work. It's not scary. It's actually kind of exciting and invigorating, and when we step in. Our energy changes and when our energy changes, we know we can move the room, we know without lifting a finger. And it's such a, such a shift and it can be done readily. Like you said in the beginning, this isn't rocket science stuff, it's just let's just play with it. Have fun. Build that curiosity and you enter in without the stress. That's my experience anyway. Yes. It's actually liberating. Hmm. Because I, I think when I, it's so interesting, people will be like, how do you do so much? Or how are you able to, well, because my energy is pretty focused forward. Because I, you know, inward and forward, I used to spend so much time ruminating over, oh, or what other things people are thinking or what they're doing and all that energy. It's all energy. Yeah. So when you actually do this work, you open up this like energy towards doing more for yourself. Yeah. Whatever that looks like. Maybe it's just Yes. Yep. Relaxing and that is okay too. You know? Absolutely. Empathy affords that. And I loved what you said about changing the energy and how it influences, I mean, absolutely. When we change, when we heal, everyone around us does. That is, that is so, yeah. Speaking of healing, you have something coming up very soon, if not already dropping. Tell us about healing with courage. You have a new book coming out. Thank you. I do. I'm so excited. Um, okay, so my book is dropping. I am targeting November 11th for a reason. Um, I am my birthday. No, really? Is it? I am not kidding. Oh my God. I did not know listeners. We did not know that. Wow. That is amazing. That's a sign. Um, I just got a shiver. Oh my, that is my target, uh, date. And actually I just messaged my editor saying like, can we make this date happen because, um, you know, I'm going to be talking about it. So November 11th, my book is called. Healing with courage. My journey from dark to light. And it is, um, it's a memoir and it's poetry. So it's all written as poetry in five chapters, and it, it progresses from trauma, pain, and disconnection all the way through courage. And so I take you on that journey, my own journey of facing some of those shadows. The trauma mm-hmm. The darkness. Um. Becoming self-aware, which we've been talking mm-hmm. About, which is that chapter ISS called The Mirror. So building that self-awareness, um, and then the light, and that's a, that's the spiritual part that's about spiritual awakening. Um, I have a chapter in there called the truth, which is whispers from the universe. Just the things that I hear that it come through me for whoever, um, wants to receive them or whoever they're for. Um, and then ending with the courage, which is stepping fully into power. And the reason I. Really wanted to write and publish this book is because I'm hoping two things will happen from it. One that anybody who picks up the book, um, especially women mm-hmm. Of certain age will, um, will realize that they're not alone. Yeah. And the things that. We're feeling the disconnection, the pain, the trauma, the dark times, it is universal. Mm-hmm. And, you know, having the courage to heal and go in on that journey into yourself in order to heal. Um, it can be really beautiful. And that's what I'm trying to portray in the book. Um, and then of course, what we've been talking about the whole time is that it's all on the inside. So a lot of times I share like. Very traumatic situations that I were, I was in, and when I looked inside, I was able to start healing them when I saw what I was doing. Right. I was participating in the toxicity, how I was participating in the drama, like what that meant. Or maybe even recognizing like where they come from. Mm-hmm. Like where does some of that come from? Um, you know, all of that is the journey that I shared. Right. Um. Yeah. And I have some reflective questions at the end of each chapter that I to go deeper. Yeah. So if the reader wants to go deeper and do some, you know, introspection, then there's the opportunity to do that. Mm-hmm. But yeah, it's, um, it's, it's powerful. The poetry is really powerful. Amazing. Did have, is this the first time you've done poetry? I didn't even know I was a poet. There you go. I love it. I was shock. Um, these, these poems just started to like flow out of me and I was just, I've, I had, I had no idea. I, I actually. I didn't remember. There you go. So when I was 15 years old, I wrote a poem called The Narrow Path, and it was published, and this is a really small town. I grew up in Marion, Indiana. Mm-hmm. And it was published in Yay. And then nothing ever happened. Yeah. And so when I was putting this book together, I went back to my old journals and my. Some of my novel that I had written and other pieces of like notes that I had jotted down and all that, and I came across the poem that I had written down. I actually had written it in a journal and then submitted it to be published. And when I saw that, I was like, oh, it's always been there. I just had to uncover it. Which what happens when we do this work? When you do this work, you uncover your true self, which is buried underneath all the layers of society and yeah. Pain and trauma and disconnection and what we're told we should be doing and looking on the outside and all of that. So yeah, I, I basically uncovered the poet. Yeah. Again, yeah. I, I love what you're saying in terms of it flows through you. I just literally, um, have been tuning in. And that's, I have a book now where I've started to write the downloads that are coming through and then they just are going out as posts.'cause I'm like, I don't know. This has to go out. This is not, I'm not keeping this, this is it for me. Um, this is for the collective. So, so powerful. Right. Thank you for saying that. Oh, thank you for saying that. I, because of what you just said, I decided to publish. Courage with Heal, uh, healing with courage as the first book of our imprint m MQ publishing imprint because Nice. Exactly what you said. And I knew that it was coming. So much of it is flowing through me. Yeah. And I wanted to retain creative control. Yeah. Over the words. Yeah. Because language is important and it needed to come out in a certain way, and I'm hoping, mm-hmm. This will be our first book launch, and then after that when, if people are looking to like, just like that, get work out, that aligns with the MQ framework and you know, they, they need some support to be able to do it, we'll be able to do it for them. Amazing. Love it. Love it. Oh my gosh. Such a rich conversation. Thanks. So good. Thank you. Nami, if you could offer. One piece of advice as we close off our show today, that you have learned along your journey to our listeners, what would that one piece of advice be? Oh, you know, it would be any time something is happening mm-hmm. That triggers you, that upsets you, that you know, sets you off, balance anything that may. Affect you in some way that is not helpful. It would be to ask two questions. What is this here to teach me and what can I do about it? Mm. Because I was going to say to look inward, but the thing is, is that's hard. Yeah. If you don't know where to start. Mm-hmm. And so anytime, and I've. Things happen to me all the time in my life where thing, you know, something throws me off or I get upset, or some I get triggered and mm-hmm. If I just take a, like a minute to pause and breathe and say, wait a second, this is here to teach me something and what mm-hmm. What could it be that has only to do with me, I've already begun. Right. That's it. If it's like, that's it. Just that one question. Right. It is. I love what you're saying. Thank you for sharing that. I, years ago, uh, as a behavior resource teacher in the classroom environment, this is the type of thing I would do is help students reflect in their body what's going on, really tune in to what's happening. Are you feeling the fire in the gut? Are you feeling the, you know, the teeth clenching? Whatever it is. That's your first cue. Oops. Something's. Triggering me because what I find is when they would go to like immediate, ah, they can't think, right? The brain almost shuts down because your fire is so big, you just, you just go into the emotional piece and the brain doesn't think so to take that space and that pause that you're sharing is life changing. Yeah, life changing. Yeah. Amazing. You know, um, can I add one to it? Yes, please. And this is a, this is one that I, that came through me. So, but when you were saying the pause, I felt like, oh my gosh. Um, you know, it's, the quote is, don't think before you speak. Breathe before you speak. Love it. There it is. That's it. I'm just gonna leave it. There. There, there. It's, yeah. Love it. Thank you so much for gifting everything that you've gifted today. Not only your time, but your energy, your light, your information. All of this will be in the show notes so you can find numi, however you need to find her, and we are honored to have shared the opportunity to. Give the audience so much in such a short time. That's what I love about these conversations. We don't spend time talking about, yeah, when I was three I did this, and six I did this. And we get into the nitty gritty and give nuggets. So thank you so much for all that you are doing in the world. Continue to keep doing you and we wish you all the best as you continue on your journey. Thank you for all that you're doing as well. I love that you're bringing awareness to women our age, so I love that. Thank you. Absolutely. My pleasure. What has activated in you claim your Sovereignty Me Academy expands you.