The Untold Podcast
UNTOLD Podcast is where business, family, and life collide—raw, unfiltered, and brutally honest. No fluff, no fake success stories—just real conversations about the highs, the struggles, and everything in between.
The Untold Podcast
Episode 7 | The Sh*t They Never Told Us | Hangovers, Midlife Crises & Trying to Be Happy
🎧 Podcast & YouTube Description:
They never warned us about hangovers lasting 3 days, midlife crises creeping in before 40, or the guilt you feel just for going to the pub…
In this episode of the UNTOLD Podcast, Ash and Chris are flying duo while Des handles business in Manchester (or pretends to). What starts as banter about first drinks, hangovers and dodgy teenage choices turns into a real, honest chat about the pressure of modern life.
We open up about:
- The sh*t they don’t prepare you for as a man
- Why we feel guilty taking time for ourselves
- Balancing work, family, and the pressure to have it all
- Midlife wobble or full-blown crisis?
- What we’d tell our 25-year-old selves
- And why buying a Lambo might not solve your problems
Expect laughs, honesty, and a little therapy along the way.
If you're a bloke trying to keep it together—or someone trying to understand one—this episode is for you.
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🎟️ Tickets for the Des Hamilton Roadshow — 30th May in Manchester — now live!
Hello and welcome to the Untold Podcast. Today I'm here with Chris. Hello everybody, it's just us two, isn't it? Because Des couldn't make it. What's Des up to?
Speaker 2:Well, he's got an excuse, but I feel like he just can't be arsed. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Well, I reckon that he's sold a shed load of tickets to an event in Manchester has he got an event on. Yeah, he's got an event on, has he?
Speaker 2:The In Manchester. Has he got an event on? Yeah, he's got an event on. Has he 30th of May, the Des?
Speaker 1:Hamilton Roadshow, but I reckon he's sold a shitload of tickets and he don't have a venue yet. So I think he's driven up to Manchester to try and knock on people's doors and say can you host my Hamilton Roadshow To be?
Speaker 2:fair. I did hear him eating during a voice note in the car, so you could be right then, mate, but he's always eating in a voice note. Well, this is it. He's always in his car. To be fair, he's always eating in a voice note. Bless him.
Speaker 1:So I reckon we've been to the pub, we've had a pint, which has loosened us up.
Speaker 2:Lucy Lucy.
Speaker 1:I thought we'd just chat shit about things in life, go for it. So the shit. They never told us when we were growing up. So how bad mornings hit after you hit to 35 fucking hell hangovers lasting I mean, I don't know about you, but this is three days, but mine are probably closer to two weeks you ever had it.
Speaker 2:it depends how hard you hit it, mate, didn't it to be 30? At the end of the day, I've had hangovers for two weeks easy.
Speaker 1:You go out and have a drink I'm never drinking again. I'm never drinking again and you wake up the next morning and you're like I'm still not drinking again.
Speaker 2:It's usually the afternoon and someone goes do you want a beer? No, it doesn't, of course you don't.
Speaker 1:I remember we used to go to. We used to go to A friend's house and as lads, like 18 year olds, he used to love us, having us around. Sadly he passed away, but we used to go there and we used to get Absolutely spangled On a Saturday night and then on a Sunday We'd play cards and he'd love To see us all suffering Tequila shots on a sunday afternoon while he's there on a barbecue cooking shrimps and stuff. But that hangover. I wish I could go back to the days when a hangover literally lasted a couple of hours in the morning.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I felt I only had a hangover, proper hangover, in my 20s, probably twice, and that was because I drunk like a whole bottle of jack daniel's over blind about three hours, or it was a litre bottle of vodka in about 20 minutes for a bit. But yeah, mate, honestly, how old are you? I don't know, 37, I think. Yeah, I'm 42, mate. If you're getting hangovers like that now, you're fucked. Oh, for fuck's sake, I literally have to. I've had. I've had. I've had a pint at the pub and we got a beer here.
Speaker 1:I'll probably a hangover in 20 minutes after the episode oh god but who cares? I'm going to have another swig of my drink what's, and I was going to save this for another episode. But what's your first memory of drinking?
Speaker 2:Dave Garrett's house, probably 1996, something like that. That was that bottle of Jack Daniels, but I was about 13,. I think Mum and dad had just split up. Thankfully, david Garrett's mum was an absolute legend. I got so paralytic on New Year's Eve that I spent three days in his bed throwing up all over his bedroom, and his mum told my mum that I was just having lots of fun, jesus.
Speaker 1:I remember you know your parents. They used to do the thing and they used to be like oh, you're going to that party, we'll go and get you a couple of drinks. Parents, come up before WKD Blues. Wkd Blues. Yes mate, I don't know. I reckon I was 14, and I was like that's it.
Speaker 2:It's around 14, isn't?
Speaker 1:it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's got like 14, 15 years of age. It's got like 14, 15 years of age, that's when you go for it.
Speaker 1:And I was like no, that's not enough. So I had this drink. It's like a bureau thing in the corner of the room Like all that maple and stuff. I opened it up. There's a litre and a half of Pimms in there. I was like I'll fucking take that. So I took that and my WKD Blues. Now, to this day, families whose house it was still calls me Pim's boy. Nice, I went there.
Speaker 2:I've heard the worst things to be called to be fair happy thing.
Speaker 1:It's amazing how that sticks, though, but I was why pick?
Speaker 2:you could have picked something decent, I don't fucking know.
Speaker 1:It's like 10% or something you could have gone for the full age. You could go for it. After you drink a litre of it mate.
Speaker 2:Jesus Christ, no wonder you're real, especially with lemonade.
Speaker 1:The thing is as well is I fancied the pants off of this girl whose house it was. Not the mum. I'm in with the cool kids. I'm in with the cool no, not the mum. I'm in with the cool kids. I've been invited to the cool kids party like fucking and I absolutely fucking ruined it and I was still called pims boy by the girl and her family until this fucking day those years later pims boy, I'm gonna start calling you that for now.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna change I'm actually gonna do it. While I was sitting, I'm gonna change your name on my phone to p Boy and then, when I go, to text you in a couple of weeks' time.
Speaker 2:I will have no idea where your phone number's gone, because I won't remember that.
Speaker 1:Oh dear, look a bit deeper, shit they never told you. Balancing, balancing, fucking life and family. Obviously you've got a kid. You've got a wife Balancing fucking life and family. Obviously you've got a kid. You've got a wife Balancing life and family. That's like it's hard, isn't it? It's hard Like we've just been to the pub for a pint. Do you feel guilty?
Speaker 2:No, do you feel guilty doing that? No, not at all, because I work my fucking nuts off.
Speaker 1:And I think that's a big thing as well. I do it I like, so that's like I'll say to the missus. I'm going out on the motorbike tomorrow morning, or I've just started playing golf. I'm absolutely terrible at it, but when it's going good I quite enjoy it. And my reasoning with myself is it's eight o'clock on a Sunday morning, we play. I get five, six, 7,000 steps in. I'm out in the sun, I'm getting fresh air. That's my reasoning with myself to be able to do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, before we go any further, I'd just like to say, obviously I've known you for about three months now. You know I play golf, so where the fuck's my invite at 8 o'clock on a Sunday morning?
Speaker 1:alright, well, you did play golf. You said you retired.
Speaker 2:Well, no, I gave it up because I'm working hard, but you know 8 o'clock on a Sunday morning actually, to be fair, I am live on TikTok at 8 o'clock in the morning on a Sunday.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll be live. I'll be live. Yeah, I'll be live on a Sunday morning.
Speaker 2:Yeah fair point. I'll take that one back. There you go. Erm, yeah, no, I don't feel guilty because, at the end of the day, like my missus works as well, my missus does work hard.
Speaker 2:We're all about mental health here, right? So let's just, let's just let's just unpack that a little bit for me. I overthink everything and I'm struggling all the time to just comprehend what is going on in my life and how I'm dealing with this and dealing with that. So, if I have a beer, that half hour that we spent at the pub is my wind down time. I don't get a wind down time otherwise, because I go home from work, as I said in the previous podcast, my little boy's all over me, which I absolutely love, wouldn't change for the world, but you don't get that on one time. And, yeah, my missus probably doesn't get it as well, but she does do things without realising she's doing things that she should be unwinding with, you know. So I think it's important to know that you can have a little bit of time to yourself. You shouldn't feel guilty for doing things like having a beer with your mate or, you know, going for a walk and not taking your family, or just doing something for yourself. Everybody should do something for themselves.
Speaker 1:Everyone should, because if you're not happy in your own self.
Speaker 2:No one else is going to be happy around you.
Speaker 1:You're shit to everyone else, aren't you, if you're not happy? But you've got to have that time, you've got to have it. When I'm out on the motorbike on a Sunday morning going to the CAF on the beach with a couple of mates, I'm normally back by 10, 11, sometimes four in the afternoon, depends how the ride goes. But I'm so lucky that I've got a wife that understands that I feel like you're going for me?
Speaker 2:No, I'm not going for you. You're talking about golf and then talking about motorbikes.
Speaker 1:Motorbikes.
Speaker 2:Well, you haven't got a motorbike. I've given up on the golf and I sold my motorbike 15 years ago and I'm not allowed to get another motorbike because my missus won't let me. Yeah, but it's actually getting on, the bike that she's not too keen on.
Speaker 1:And I love it when my wife goes out. I do. I love it when she goes out and lets her hair down. She doesn't do it enough and I think she feels more guilty than I do. She has this guilt of oh yeah, but I can't go out and enjoy your time with your friends because not being horrible, but you're so much nicer and better to be around after you've let your hair down yeah, my missus is the same, you know she says, oh, you're my world and I don't want to be away from you and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:But you need that little break, you know, because it makes you feel fonder if you go home and you're like, oh, how was your evening or what did you do? And you know it makes more conversation, you feel better in yourself and it is important to do like, like you, I love it when my missus goes out of her mates.
Speaker 1:She just chooses not to go out that much yeah, mine does as well, and I don't know what it is. She's got a lovely group of mates and like go out, go go. Obviously not every other day, but yeah go out and enjoy it.
Speaker 1:I think you've got to do it, sort of like I say to my mates like we should do stuff. You probably do it. You go out with your mates and you'll go on a stag, do yeah, and you all get together once every year, once every six months maybe, if you're lucky, and every time you end the weekend, you end the day, and you're like we should do this more often you never fucking do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, we have. Yeah, it was funny enough.
Speaker 1:The text messages went out a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah, why is that? I don't know. I think it's just life and it just gets so caught up in thing is everybody gets in the rat race, don't they get up? Get up in the morning, you have to go to work, you have to earn a living, you have to pay your bills. You get home from work, you're knackered. In the uk we work, we live to work. Yeah, similar to that. You live because you have to pay your bills.
Speaker 1:How do you change the narrative, though? Do you know what I mean? Should we be prioritising ourselves more?
Speaker 2:Selfishly should we be prioritising ourselves more. It's difficult to talk about this situation because everybody's different, but we live in a very materialistic life, don't we? In a world where everybody is materialistic, you want everything that's nice. You want the nice house, you want a nice garden, you want the nice cars. Depends on what actually you want out of life. If you want to be happy, don't strive for all that, yeah, because that won't make you happy. It just causes you more stress.
Speaker 1:Time isn't it. It's finding time we. We manage to find times for, we manage to find time for the things that don't fill us with joy. We managed to find time for work, to do that quote, to go out and please that customer, but we never we put ourselves back. We put ourselves on a back burner, where I feel that we all should put ourselves at the front, cause if you're not happy, then you're done.
Speaker 2:So the one thing I always used to say to people because if you're not happy, then you're done. So one thing I always used to say to people is if you don't love yourself you, then how's anyone ever gonna love you? Yeah, and I think that's really important to mention, because if you just live your life for everybody else all of the time, it makes you unhappy. And if you're unhappy, you're actually doing the complete opposite to what you're trying to achieve by making everyone else up around you your family, your kids, your wife, your, you know your friends and everything. What you're trying to achieve by making everyone else up around you your family, your kids, your wife, your friends and everything. If you're a miserable bastard to be around, they're not going to want to be around you anyway.
Speaker 1:That's it, and it's so difficult. I reckon that anybody listening look back at it. Can you make more time for yourself without fucking up everything? I bet you can. I bet, if you look back at it, you can, I bet you can, I bet, if you look back at it, you can, I bet you can make it. Well, ask me in three months time and I'll tell you Well, that's it.
Speaker 2:Because I've just done it you know that's it.
Speaker 1:That's it. You've made fucking 24 seven for yourself mate yeah mate.
Speaker 2:Yeah, You've made 24 seven for yourself but, hats off to and hopefully everyone's really worried that I wasn't going to come back because of the conversation we had in the car. But I've actually made the decision. I've done it now. I've told the client, I've told the guys that work for me that they're not working for me anymore. I'm going to fold the business in two and a half weeks' time about two two and a half weeks' time when I finish the job in London, I'm going balls deep in TikTok and putting as much effort into the podcast as I possibly can now, and the more I think about it, the more I've changed already, mate. Yeah, I feel like I've got a different aura about me already. Yeah, what a good plug that is. Well, yeah.
Speaker 1:Different needs some work, hasn't it? A little plug there.
Speaker 2:I'm not wearing that shirt today, but no, honestly I do. I said it to you earlier on in the pub, didn't I? I went home last night from work and the first thing I did I walked into the kitchen and slapped my missus' ass, and I always used to do that because I was happy. Yeah, and I felt yesterday she went what's going on? What's going on? You say it. Maybe I feel like I've just got this massive weight taken off my shoulders. I can spend more time at home with my family. Yes, I'm going to be working, but I'm going to be able to take my boy to nursery in the morning. I'm going to be able to pick him up in the afternoon. I'm going to be able to go and have a round of golf. If I want to go and have a round of golf as long as I can get, I want to be financially.
Speaker 1:Well, that's it, isn't it? But you've got to weigh up. I mean, we spoke about it before.
Speaker 2:Like financially free. I'd much rather do something that just about pays. You ain't never going to be financial free. I don't give a shit who you are.
Speaker 1:No, it's bullshit, because you live within your means. If you're earning 10 grand a month, you'll spend it. If you're earning 10 grand a month, you'll spend it. If you're earning 1,000 a month, you'll spend it and you'll be in the same situation. But I would much rather do something that pays me enough for a good life that I enjoy every day than something that pays me 10 times what I need and I fucking hate waking up every morning. 100%, mate, 100%. I don't think there's a lot of people that chase the money too much.
Speaker 2:The problem is, most of those people are really young as well, because all they just get taught is that money is the means to everything. And you do especially like I'd hate to be 20. Odd now, fuck me. Like my boys, I dread being them right now, because all they see is materialistic stuff Instagram, tiktok everywhere you look, everyone's got millions of pounds, even though they haven't. Yeah, you know, and you're just taught to think like that all the time.
Speaker 2:And then, like when you get to our age or my age, I feel like I'm in a kind of a midlife crisis. At the moment, I'm at that point where I want to buy a motorbike or buy a stupid car or do something crazy, because I feel like, actually, hang on, I'm about to to the end than I am to the start, and I never thought midlife crisis was a thing, but genuinely I feel like I'm getting there. But then 20-year-olds if there is anyone that's 20 that's listening it ain't all about the money. Yeah, you've got to run out of money to pay your bills and have a nice gaff if you want a nice house or whatever, but at the end of the day, you don't need all that materialistic shit.
Speaker 1:No, because that's all it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, You're all on finance. You're all strapped up to the bollocks with your credit limits and your credit cards and all that sort of stuff. So actually you're just putting more pressure on yourself by getting all that stuff. Anyway.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean off any 20 year olds listening. Learn, learn about investing, learning about assets over liabilities. It's all good and well driving a 250,000 pound Lambo, but it could all come crashing down. Like we've said before, if you're doing TikTok shop and you're doing really, really well and you think, oh, do you know what? I can afford to go out and finance a Lambo and the final, their five grand a month Mate, tomorrow someone could Keir Starmer, because he's a bellend, could do something Put an 80% tax on Lamborghinis.
Speaker 1:Yeah, put an 80% tax on Lamborghinis or he could shut down TikTok. Yeah, I think it's important for kids and this is the other thing. This is the school learn to make your make a bit of money and then let that money work for you, let that money make you more money and when that money's making you enough money for you to buy that lambo or finance that lambo and not have to worry about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm glad you said that actually, because one thing I would love to do is, if I ever could afford it, I could afford it. I'd be better on the lamborghini, because I had the picture on the wall when I was a kid. You know it was the Lamborghini Contash and the fucking horrible looking thing. Now, if you actually look at the picture of them, they were disgusting. But you know, if you can afford it, like you're saying, you're not strapping yourself up Go and get one. Go and get that fucking great big house that everyone's jealous that you've got and go and live the lifestyle that you've worked fucking hard to get. But I mean, I know people in their 20s that have got 15, 20 grand's worth of credit card debt and, jesus Christ, if you're in that much debt in your 20s, you're fucked.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's it, because it's not going away Nah you ain't going to be able to pay that credit off.
Speaker 1:So all you're probably doing is paying the interest? Yeah, but that's the thing. That's how they want you.
Speaker 2:That's how they want you. You look at your mortgage. You pay about four times what your house is worth over the life of your 30-year mortgage.
Speaker 1:I looked Buy a ÂŁ300,000 over 30 years and your interest is like ÂŁ290,000. 280, 290 grand at the moment. You buy a house for 300 grand and it's costing you six. Fuck that, yeah, and that's where you need to have money. The thing is, if you keep it for 30 years.
Speaker 2:You can look at it another way. If you keep it for 30 years, it's going to be worth 600 grand anyway, isn't it so exactly?
Speaker 1:you know, it's kind of but if you can put yourself in a position where you you're going to save a hell of a lot of money. Yeah, yeah, one regret I made.
Speaker 2:Actually, to be fair, when my missus got our house 10 years ago, our mortgage was nothing, Absolutely nothing, Peanuts. We were like, oh yeah, we'll have that. What we'll do is we'll pay the bare minimum and we'll just have a really nice life. Yeah, and it would have ripped our mortgage to pieces in 20 or 30 years. You know Like we'd have had hardly anything to pay. But you don't think like that. And since we're going back to the 20s, you don't think like that.
Speaker 1:I mean, I wasn't 20. I was off my mortgage this month, but or I could go and do that. We could go away for a weekend, we'd go to Spain, we'd do this and you do that because that's what.
Speaker 2:That's what benefits you now yeah, I mean I blame my missus, to be fair. She wanted free weddings, so that's where all our money went what to different men. Yeah, exactly, she got married to Carlos in Spain. She got married to Chris in East Grinstead, and then actually I'm not really saying East Grinstead, that's not where I live, edit, that bit out. Yeah, she got married to Carlos in Spain, to me in our hometown and then me in another place, because we had to get married in an registry office to get married in Spain.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, they do like spending money't they my wife's, mine's, mine's amazing.
Speaker 1:I remember our first date my first date.
Speaker 2:Don't make me look like a no, no, no, no, not at all, not at all.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying, I'm counting these times, I'm just saying. I'm just saying our first date we went bowling, then went to a Mackey's nice, fucking brilliant. Now before my missus I would have been like I'll need to take her to a five-star restaurant doing this, doing that, and you really get to see who that person actually is, if you don't pretend to be someone you're not well if she has like chicken nuggets or a cheeseburger.
Speaker 2:Just there's a difference there. Isn't there as opposed to a child or as opposed to a filet mignon.
Speaker 1:Um, but no, it was wicked. Wicked mate. I remember it. I remember we went bowling. We had a laugh. Then we were hungry so we had to drive an hour to the closest McDonald's that was open.
Speaker 2:But we spent so much time in the car together and it was like yeah, there's nothing else to do other than talk when you're in a car, is there?
Speaker 1:No, that's it, it's good, and that Podcasting a car I thought was quite good.
Speaker 2:I took my missus to the pub that I used to work at so I could get free drinks. That was my first date. She thought I was amazing. We got absolutely steaming, it cost me nothing and we had the table by the fire as well, which is really romantic, because I obviously told them to give me that table.
Speaker 1:Well, let's go back to what you said about the shit they don't tell you Midlife crisis is it real? Yeah, 100% mate yeah. I never thought when people used to mention it and they're like, oh, you have a midlife crisis, what the fuck is it? I reckon my mate had one 10 years ago at fucking 28, because he was so sensible in his years of school and college. He was so sensible. I reckon he had a midlife crisis at fucking 28 years old.
Speaker 2:I don't think mine's going to be too bad, because I kind of had one in my 30s, early 30s, when I split up with my boy's mum. I just had a couple of years where I was just sort of going out every weekend and just enjoying myself, so I kind of celebrated. I think the midlife crisis is when you get with somebody too early and you don't actually experience life too much. It's quite a difficult thing to say because obviously there's a lot of people that may be listening that have been with their partners for a long time. I feel like if you don't experience life, if you get together too early and you don't actually get to go through life, experience different things, different people, different partners or whatever, I think when you get to the age of about 40, 45, you probably go fucking hell what I've actually done with my life.
Speaker 2:I haven't traveled, yeah, I haven't been anywhere, I've just worked. And now I am the other side of 40 and, let's be honest, the average age is what? 86 or something, is it not even that? Is it something that? So you are nearer to the end? I hate saying that because it feels so depressing. Yeah, but it's true, you are nearer to the end than to the start, and I think that's why people go fucking hell. What have I done? And then that's why they start deep thinking oh, my God, I haven't done this, I haven go. Actually, I need to do this, I need to do that. I can't do it with this person because we've got kids, or I can't do it with this person because they won't let me, and that's why relationships split up, and that's what that midlife crisis is all about. And then they go out and buy the orange Ford Focus ST or something like that. Sorry, anyone that's got a Ford Focus ST Orange kind of a. Yeah, you know, and I think that's where I am in a comfortable place with my missus, because I lived my life I've made.
Speaker 2:So we talk about regrets. We spoke about regrets, didn't we? In one of the ones we did. I don't have any regrets in life. The only regret I have in my life is not getting on an aeroplane with Steve Parrish, who's the Palace Chairman the Crystal Palace Chairman and that is my wife's fault. So if you're listening, darling, that is the only regret I have. I'm looking at the microphone. That's you there and that is the only regret I have, because everything else that you're doing throughout life just teaches you to be a better person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and the people that have regrets, don't have regrets.
Speaker 2:What's the point? Don't live for yesterday. Live for today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, live for today and look for the future. Look for the future. Live for today and look for the future. That's it, like I learned so much. Before I met my wife, um, I met someone who had a lovely little boy. He was four years old and, unfortunately, me and her just didn't get on. It just wasn't, wasn't for me, but I feel that was life testing me. To meet my missus who had a four-year-old child. Could I be a father to someone else's kid? And that was teaching me, yes, it could. And like I remember, sitting in a car park, my missus said no, come on, you go and live your life, and I'm so glad that I didn't. I've lived a life before I met my current wife. I've lived a life and I've made some mistakes and I've got not regrets. Like you say, I've acted like a dickhead, I've done things that I'm not proud to admit, but it's all learning lessons and I think if you learn from those things, as long as you learn from those, so-called mistakes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's fine, isn't it?
Speaker 1:but it's the same in business, isn't it? Of course it is. You learn from your mistakes. I learned from closing down a family business a hell of a lot. I've learned from working in businesses a hell of a lot, and every day is a school day, and I don't think you can be, Listen.
Speaker 2:That's why, when you drive past the pub that you drove past 25 years ago, the people are still in that pub. They're still outside drinking on a Friday afternoon because they don't learn from their mistakes. You know like they don't want to progress in life, and the only way you progress is by making mistakes and learning from them. If you make mistakes every week and you just think oh well, I'll carry on as I am, You're just going to carry on being that same person, isn't you?
Speaker 1:Someone said the only way to break away from the mold. Today, in a group I was in, the only way to break away from the mold is to be extraordinary. What's the fucking word? Extraordinary, not extraordinary. Extraordinary, kind of the same.
Speaker 1:They sound the same, they don't know they do they do you know, blow my mind a couple of pints and I'm like, oh, one pint, sorry one pint, and it's blowing my mind. But that's and again like a story I told you in that group today, where someone's been working at a company since they were 16. They're now 57, they can't retire for another 10 years and they're counting down the days till they retire at that company they started at at 16. That life's not for me, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean the thing is right. The issue that we sort of the problem we've got is right. The way we go on about business and everything, we feel like we're preaching something here.
Speaker 1:It's important to mention that if you're happy with that life, then be happy with that life. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Some, people are just happy to go to work for a boss, be told what to do, work eight till five or eight till four, whatever, and go home and just have no stress whatsoever Because it isn't, is it? As long as you're earning money enough to pay for your bills and everything, you can go home from work. You can forget about your day-to-day life and just enjoy the evening with your wife or your kids or on your own or whatever you choose to do. But I think it's quite important to mention, because I know we talk about business a lot and I know we talk about mental health and stuff and people may jump onto the podcast and think well, actually know, they're not talking to me because I work for somebody and I'm not interested in being an entrepreneur or blah, blah, blah no, and I think, like I used to work, when I was 17, I used to work at Sainsbury's in Havertief my first job as well yeah.
Speaker 1:I used to work in Sainsbury's on the back door. Used to work on the back door seeing the lorries in unloading.
Speaker 2:I so wanted to go for a joke there.
Speaker 1:Working on the back door and the guy I worked with had been doing the same job since the Sainsbury's opened, which was a hell of a long time, and he loved it. He wouldn't change it for the world and he was a lovely bloke and he was happy. He knew his hours, he knew what he had to do, he knew what he was getting paid at the end of the month. There was another guy there he was, I'm gonna say he was in his. He was in his early 60s. He had a heart attack in the warehouse. The ambulance come, took him away. Next day he was back there and he loved it and he wouldn't change it for the world. So I'm not, and this is what fucks me off about all these people on tiktok and that saying quit your job, quit your job and be an entrepreneur.
Speaker 2:it's not for everyone. That's why we called the untold podcast, isn't it?
Speaker 1:because that's it it's not for everyone. There is, I've said it before. I own a business. I've got staff. Every month comes around and I've got paid to start. It's like having kids that have worked their arse off for you and you can't give them their pocket money. I know it's not pocket money that takes the piss out of the staff, but you can't give them their wages. That's right. They won't hear this until they edit it. Yeah, exactly exactly whether they actually listen to it. But there's a lot to be said about going on holiday. I've said this before. I've said it in videos on my personal page going on holiday, turning your work phone off and enjoying two weeks for your family I can't do that no, I can't.
Speaker 1:I can't go on holiday and not have to do some sort of work, answer some sort of emails, and I don't think, even if you're, even if you're really successful, I don't think, even if you're really successful, I don't think you ever switch off when you're an entrepreneur.
Speaker 2:Well, you can't do it. If you're mega, mega successful, your brain is ticking more than anybody else's brain ever in any way. Because that's why you're so successful, because your brain doesn't stop.
Speaker 1:It's mad though, isn't it? It's mad Something else. They never told you that? Why? Your brain will wake you up at 3 o'clock in the morning and think I know you suffer with this because you told me the other day I suffer with this Like literally the most random shit. The most random shit. My missus is funny. She has weird dreams in the night, like people chasing her and all sorts. Do you get that thing when you fall asleep, where you're like falling, you jump yeah and you jump yeah, yeah, you know there is, that is actually a scientific thing, though?
Speaker 2:is it so? That is actually your body. Your body falls asleep before your brain and your brain thinks your body is dying, so it jolts your body. It actually sends an electrical current your body to make sure that you're actually still alive, or the other way around. One of the two, but that is actually so. I dealt with that very, very badly years and years ago really badly to the point where, like, I nearly broke my foot Cause I kicked the wall so hard so I thought I'd do a bit of research on it. And genuinely, that is actually a thing. Your body, or your brain, thinks one or the other is actually dying and it sends an electrical current. And it sends an electrical current. So it's obviously your brain to your body, because obviously your brain controls your electrical currents. But yeah, it is actually an electric shot to your body to make sure you're still alive.
Speaker 1:Really it's mad that, it's mad that, but no one ever told you.
Speaker 2:No one ever prepared you. Science with Chris. Science with Chris. Never thought they'd be doing science on the podcast.
Speaker 1:But no one did it, did they? And this is something that I feel that they should warn you for. When you get into later life and you have a business, you have a family, you have a mortgage to pay, you have bills to pay, they're going to haunt you 24 hours a day. How the fuck do you deal with it? How do you? I know for a fact I don't want to put you on the spot here, don't want to go too deep Me and des went balls deep every day. Yeah, he even said that he wanted to put the balls in. Um, how do you deal with that? How do you have? Okay, so let's, we've got an example here. You've just decided to sack in your comfort blanket your job that you've done for however many years, to focus on t shop. What the fuck's been going through your head for the last couple of weeks?
Speaker 2:Last couple of weeks. To be honest, it's not the financial side of things, it's the responsibilities as a human being that I've been struggling with. It's letting I've got. I mean, there's one guy that works for me Henry, his name is, I'll call him out. He's worked for me for five years. He's a fucking legend Always on time, always turns up, always does what he says he's going to do. Yes, he's a bit fucking slow and a bit useless. Sorry, henry, he won't listen to this anyway, but he means a lot to me. He does mean a lot to me and I'd like to think that I'm the kind of person that does care about people a little bit too much. And it was important for me that I didn't just say there's no work for you now. You haven't got a job, goodbye. He's just got his own gaffe of his misses and everything. So I spoke to a mate of mine yesterday and he's now going to go and work for him. But that was my main worry. My main worry was that conversation that I was going to have with him. It was that conversation that I was going to have with him. It was the conversation I was going to have with my client, because it was a thing.
Speaker 2:I've worked for this client for 10 years and they have paid me very well. They paid for all of my weddings. It's something that I've had there as a fail safe constantly for the last 10 years. That's been my main stress. I went live on TikTok last night until 11 o'clock. I went to bed at about midnight last night, fell asleep about 1 o'clock. That wasn't because I was thinking about anything, it was because I had all the bright lights and the cameras and everything in my face. I slept like a baby. Yeah, you know, because it's a different stress and that's the stress that's been dealing with. Don't get me wrong in a couple of weeks that I didn't expect to make. I expected to make more. That's when I lay there that night going fucking hell. So if I do that every night for the next three weeks, how am I going to pay my mortgage? You know like so you do get different stresses, but you just the best way to deal with them is to talk to people yeah, it is, and face them head on yeah don't you know?
Speaker 2:if you're in debt, let's face it. Probably 90% of the country is in debt right now, probably even higher than that, isn't it? To be fair, I would have said if you're in debt.
Speaker 2:If you can't pay your debts, speak to the debt company, because, whatever anybody thinks, these debt companies ain't out to kill you. No, you know, if you ring them up and can't pay your debt, they will help you out. I don't care what company it is, they're not there to absolutely destroy it. The only time you need to get a bailiff on your front door is if you've ignored the fuck out of it.
Speaker 1:And that's it. Or if you think you can beat the system, which is me sometimes, because I think it's un, unright, I don't fuck knows. I think it's morally wrong what some of the people do, like council tax, for example, but Well, yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2:I live on a private estate, mate, not post-private estate. Private estate is a new build and you pay your fees to live there and we have to pay full council tax ÂŁ240 a month I'll pay and they don't even deal with the streets.
Speaker 1:They don't fix the roads they don't bury your head in the sand when it comes to shit like that, and a lot of my problems over the years have been with money. It's always been. Everything that wakes me up at four in the morning has been money, yeah, money related. And now it's changing Like now it's like I've moved on from money because I've dealt with that.
Speaker 2:Is that only because you've lived beyond your means? Is that why you've been worrying? No, it was the business thing.
Speaker 1:Right. The business was living beyond its means. The rent increased, everything increased, the sales dropped everything. And when you've got a business where the overheads are probably 25, 30 grand a month and retail's dying a death and exchange rates are going in the wrong direction and transport's getting more expensive, it was a lot. So I managed to deal with that by getting rid of that Adapt. But now my brain. The other morning my parents just moved to Spain. Yeah, a lot. So I managed to deal with that by getting rid of that adapt. But now my brain. The other morning my parents just moved to Spain, yeah, and my mum's got a dog, took the dog with them. I woke up fucking four o'clock in the morning wondering what they're gonna do with the dog when they come back for my brother's wedding. Like what the fuck man? Maybe just like worrying, mate, once you get wired in.
Speaker 2:I actually think that's a thing. So I think once you start worrying throughout your whole life, I think you get addicted to worrying yeah, and that's like my old man said to me.
Speaker 1:He used to say to me he said never be like me when I was a kid, I was like you're amazing, you're a fucking legend, you've done this. You're a good dad, you're a good husband, you've provided for us all the years, you're a nice friend, you've done everything you possibly can for everybody else. And I think what he was saying was don't ever be like me, don't ever be negative, don't ever be a worrier because he used to be, and that's where I get a lot of it from, I think. But I worry about shit I don't need to fucking about, but not during the day, at four o'clock in the morning, when I'm trying to get a good night's sleep.
Speaker 2:When nothing's going on, isn't it Once your brain starts talking to yourself? That's why I've been taking ashwagandha. Oh good, yes, I've got some other stuff.
Speaker 1:I've been taking ashwagandha.
Speaker 2:But what about you? Your?
Speaker 1:brain Like it goes mad.
Speaker 2:I know it does yeah, I'm an over thinker, massive over thinker, mate, really really bad over thinker. I'm trying to deal with that right now, but it's very, very difficult when you've done done it for pretty much your whole life.
Speaker 2:But it's good as well yeah, don't get me wrong, I love it as well as hate it, like I hate it more than I love it. But I love it so much about people without even them realising. You know anything about them Because you watch their body language, you watch the way they talk to you, you watch how much eye contact they give you, you listen to voice notes, you look at text messages. You literally everything that goes on. You are analysing everything and 99.9% of the time I'm 100% right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I've always said my superpower is being a great judge of character same kind of thing being able to judge people out not judge people, but if anybody's watching this on, YouTube.
Speaker 2:You can see me and Ash now looking at each other in each other's eyes, seeing if we can actually gauge anything from each other. I did it at a pub earlier on. So don't worry, I've got his cards numbered and I did it before I signed a contract with a cunt.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you did as well. Yeah so yeah. But on that note, chris, one bit of advice you would give to your 25 year old self don't get married in your early 20s.
Speaker 2:What were you going to say? Don't get married? No, probably, just fucking enjoy yourself. Yeah, don't put too much pressure on yourself. Don't try and fall in love, don't try and have a family, don't try and do anything other than just have fun. And if I mean if that's your fun, but it's up to you. But yeah, 20s, 20s, just go out there and just enjoy it.
Speaker 1:Enjoy it, man enjoy it travel if someone gives you the opportunity to go and travel.
Speaker 2:Actually I said I don't have any regrets. That's. The one regret I do have, actually, is that I haven't travelled. I'd love to. I still I'd love to go to Thailand. So if there's anybody watching that lives in Thailand and they've got a nice five, six bedroom villa that we could go and do the podcast from we'd be more than happy.
Speaker 1:That I've said was travel yeah, but it's in the 10 year plan to travel. Yeah, I'll do it with my wife, my best friend, my soul mate. Yeah, let's fucking do it anyway, chris, that's been beautiful.
Speaker 2:That was a bit fucking sickening, yeah, but it's true though, isn't?
Speaker 1:it.
Speaker 2:I love you too, darling. Yeah, you're my best friend too. No, she actually is. I shouldn't laugh at that, listen they support us in doing this.
Speaker 1:They support us in doing this anyway, chris. That was blinding.
Speaker 2:I think we'll have to have a beer before the next one as well, actually we'll have to have a beer now we'll go to the pub yeah, come on, let's go if you watched, thank you very much.
Speaker 1:If you listened, thank you very much. We need your support. Like it, share it, feed it. We're looking for sponsors, um to help us go to the next level, and we're looking for guests. So, if you've got, if you've got, if you've got an interesting story that you want to tell, come and sit in this chair, because I don't know where des is coming back from manchester. So come sit in this chair and tell us all about your story. Maybe it can help someone out. Thanks for watching. We'll see you next week. Cheers, guys, take care.