The Untold Podcast
UNTOLD Podcast is where business, family, and life collide—raw, unfiltered, and brutally honest. No fluff, no fake success stories—just real conversations about the highs, the struggles, and everything in between.
The Untold Podcast
Episode 8 | The Rock? Turns Out, It Wasn’t Us | UNTOLD Podcast
We sat down thinking this episode would be about how men are the rocks of the family — the providers, the strong ones, the ones who don't break.
But somewhere along the conversation, something shifted.
We realised...
We’re not the real rocks.
The women in our lives — our wives, our partners, our mums — they are.
They’re the ones carrying the invisible weight every single day, holding the family together, picking up the pieces we don’t even realise we’re dropping.
In this brutally honest episode, we talk about:
- The silent pressure men feel to never break down
- Why “I’m fine” is usually the biggest lie we tell
- The guilt we carry for taking even an hour for ourselves
- How most men are one bottled-up emotion away from breaking
- Why real strength is being vulnerable — not silent
- And how the people we thought we were protecting have actually been protecting us all along.
We don’t come at this with fake solutions or polished speeches.
Just three blokes, being honest about how hard it is, how much we’ve got wrong — and how much we’ve learned.
If you're a man who's been struggling in silence, or a woman trying to understand the silent battles your partner is fighting,
this episode will open your eyes — and maybe, if you let it, start to heal something inside you.
🔔 Subscribe to the UNTOLD Podcast for real conversations every Tuesday.
📲 Follow us on Instagram & TikTok: @UNTOLDPodcast.official
🎟️ Join us live at the Des Hamilton Roadshow, 30th May, Manchester — tickets available now!
The pressure to be a rock Relationship, friendship business. How do you take that?
Speaker 2:Put yourself in someone else's shoes, understand what it is they're going through. It's more a case of what they've sacrificed in order to do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but is that the big problem? Is that the problem?
Speaker 3:It doesn't mean you're weak at all. I think it makes you a better man, to be fair.
Speaker 1:You bottle it up, bottle it up, you bottle it up, bottle it up. Where's the point that you break?
Speaker 2:I genuinely do feel the pressure to be the rock. Yeah, and it is brutal.
Speaker 1:This is already my favorite episode the untold podcast is proudly sponsored by aura surfaces, specialists in luxury surfaces for extraordinary spaces. Like creating dream homes, building a dream life takes work. That's why we had to get behind this podcast. Real stories, real challenges and real success. Let's get into it. Hello everybody, welcome back to the Untold Podcast. A rare occurrence all three of us are back together this week. Chris and Des, how are you doing boys? All good, mate, all good. Very well, like your top.
Speaker 3:Yeah, how you doing boys, all good mate Very well, like your top.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's nice, isn't it? Oh, we have to give a shout-out. Actually, elkson's Workwear provided us with these beautiful gilets and hoodies and jumpers.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry you didn't pay for them. I did pay for them.
Speaker 2:He's made out, he's given us.
Speaker 1:he said Do you want to see the receipt.
Speaker 2:I'll show you the invoice.
Speaker 1:No, unfortunately it's not a sponsored episode by Elksons. Maybe the next one will be, but they do do some really nice work where I've used it for all my business stuff and it's good, the embroidery's good, all mine at the pub the other weekend actually.
Speaker 3:Yeah, proper, representing.
Speaker 1:Representing the brand.
Speaker 2:These untold pants are really comfortable. Yeah, I know they are.
Speaker 1:Mine and my front side are a bit small. A bit small, no such thing. So, boys, today I thought we'd talk about the pressure to always be the rock. As men, I feel that there's a pressure to be the rock Whether that's just me thinking that, because that's the way I think. What do you think you always feel pressure to?
Speaker 2:be the Rock. I'm talking about WWE.
Speaker 3:I'm glad you said that, because all I want to do is go. Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?
Speaker 2:that's what I say when I walk in every night.
Speaker 1:I didn't even think of that. Is he even called the Rock? I suppose he'll always be known as the Rock yeah, he's the final boss, the people's champion.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the Brahma ball. Can you tell I'm a wrestling?
Speaker 1:fan.
Speaker 3:We know you're a wrestling fan Desdemonda the destroyer yeah we are going to get your wrestling outfit if you want to podcast on that.
Speaker 2:I genuinely do feel the pressure to be the rock.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's why, maybe that could be his charity challenge. Des has got to become a wrestler.
Speaker 3:Well, I've actually got one actually has got to become a wrestler. Well, I've actually got one, actually. Let's just break the mould a minute. Let's just stop what we're doing in a minute one second. I listened to about 15 minutes of your podcast from the other week today when I was driving.
Speaker 2:You must have been really busy not to listen to all of it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I turned it off afterwards because I wasn't in it. There's no point in me listening to it. But what? Why don't we go one step up and do a skydive?
Speaker 2:I would prefer a skydive to a bungee jump.
Speaker 3:Would you yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I feel safer with a parachute and I'll do a bit of elastic on my ankles.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I've done one, so I'm quite comfortable that I can do it again. I'm up for it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah yeah, what a skydive. Yeah, oh look, I keep accusing you of something.
Speaker 3:I saw what it's been.
Speaker 1:Maybe I should have mentioned this upstairs earlier on my buddy who's in the parachute regiment must have done I don't know hundreds and hundreds of jumps, and I shit myself even the thought of it. I shit myself. Don't like heights, though, don't like being up a ladder three rounds. I shit myself. Yeah, like that. Well, that'll be a good episode.
Speaker 3:We'll record it as well, yeah it will be a good episode.
Speaker 1:I know someone else that's supposed to be doing a charity skydive. Maybe we'll get him on board, because I sponsored him to do it and it was too windy and he's not done it, so let's see if we can do it with him. No names yet. There you go.
Speaker 3:I'll tell you later. Voice from Ash for the next five minutes no, no, he still hasn't stopped twiddling his fingers.
Speaker 2:Oh, I always twiddle my fingers.
Speaker 1:Boys don't know it's nothing to do with the skydive.
Speaker 3:I can't wait for the whatsapp chat when we finish this podcast.
Speaker 1:I mean later in this episode. I was going to ask when's the last time you cried?
Speaker 3:mine was when you suggested doing, doing the skydiving.
Speaker 2:This is already my favourite episode.
Speaker 1:So, yeah right, the pressure to be a rock, whether it's relationship, friendship, business, how do you take?
Speaker 3:that. I think it's quite easy. Actually, I'm not like it depends on the way you look at it, I suppose. But but for me I'm quite a traditional person. So back in the day the men was always the men that went out and worked and looked after their family, and obviously blokes didn't talk to each other. They know, which is different to what it is now, but I quite like the feeling of being a rock to my friends. I've mentioned it before. I've had a couple of mates that struggled recently. When they've reached out to me, it's made me feel amazing about myself, because they're actually comfortable enough to do that. And that's what you want in a person is your own person. You want people to rely on you because it means you're doing something right in life. I think, yeah, um, with family wise. So I'm traditional.
Speaker 3:You know I was always brought up that the man was the man of the house yeah um, sometimes it's difficult, you know, when the money's, when the money's not quite trickling in as quick as it used to. Or get a £401 water bill from South East Water because apparently you've had 807 baths in the last three months True story, you know and you wonder, well, where am I going to get that £400 from? I've not budgeted for that. It becomes difficult. But, yeah, it's not really something that stresses me out because it's kind of what I expect.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I would agree with you. I feel a lot of pressure to be the rock and I don't know why I don't know whether that's a me thing just because that's what I want to do. I want to provide for my kids. I want my kids to not really want for anything. I want to be able to pay. When you've got staff, obviously you've got to be a rock because you've got to lead by example when you put yourself in an entrepreneurial position. I don't even think it's an entrepreneurial thing.
Speaker 2:No, no, I talked about this in the roadshow in Brighton. We've got a new roadshow coming up, we've got a roadshow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, in Manchester yeah.
Speaker 2:The Untold podcast has come in.
Speaker 1:If you can get babysitters, yeah, no pressure, no pressure. You went nervous then, like he did with the start, he'll be on the stage with us, mate, he will, yeah, he will.
Speaker 2:We'll bring the rock in, we, yeah we talked when people get to a certain crossroads in their life, usually around midlife crisis time, isn't it really? But even going through your partner saying, actually that's not fair. You and your partner are agreeing to have a child Because all of a sudden you go down to one paycheck, don't you Statutory maternity? You get a maternity package that lasts about six weeks. Then you cut your wages and all of a sudden it's the geezer that is responsible, or, sorry, the working parent these days is responsible for bringing in the money, while the other parent at home is responsible for the child. You both change in that instance and you're completely unaware of it.
Speaker 2:No one ever talks about this bit when it comes to actually raising a child. Unaware of it. No one ever talks about this bit when it comes to actually raising a child, do they? But instantly the guy becomes the paycheck and resentment eventually kicks in, because the guy is not only the paycheck, he's also the one not seeing the child, mm-hmm. And then the lady, the mum, is the person that's all of a sudden given up their career, given up their independence, and they've got a label of being a mum which is now dominating their entire personality, and they're losing themselves as well. And these are the roles that we take on now. So the mum I say the mum, but majority of the time it is the mum who all of a sudden takes that responsibility and resents losing their former life, while the guy goes away and becomes the person that is solely responsible for the financial upkeep, the roof above the bleeding house, the food on the table. And it is brutal because it's unexpected and it's not talked about, because, once again, here we are talking about something that no one fucking talks about, and it's hard. There's a lot of pressure and there's a lot of resentment.
Speaker 2:I went out for beers the other night and I even did a post on this, saying Claire's at home with the kids. This was in the diary. It wasn't a surprise. She was supportive Go out and enjoy yourself. I wanted to go out and let my head down and have a couple of drinks. I still felt guilty. You do, didn't you?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. Well, we spoke about that, didn't we? Yeah, I don't remember.
Speaker 3:I can't remember anything from last week.
Speaker 1:No, I'm joking. I'm joking, and now you've said that as well. I reckon it'd be interesting to know if the females feel the same as the men. But we don't talk. I guarantee they do.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I guarantee they do. I suppose there's different reasons, isn't there?
Speaker 1:Yeah, different reasons, like you're the rock of the childcare, the rock of the home, and then there's like the rock of the finances.
Speaker 2:That's it, and.
Speaker 1:I guess that path sort of it's very sort of set, isn't it Like you either do?
Speaker 2:that or that. That's it. And my wife Nell, nell, she doesn't work, she's relying on me paying her, and that must be hard.
Speaker 3:Yeah, this is a really difficult thing. I know that my missus struggles with this really badly. She hates asking for money. Yeah, you know everything that I've always done since I mean mostly since we had our little boy three years ago everything that I've done has been for the two of them. Obviously for myself as well, but every penny that I earn is not my money, it's our money. I've always said it's our money.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I find it really difficult. That's one of the stresses actually. You say like being a rock. One of the main things for me is, if I'm trying to provide for my family and it's not being asked for, I don't know whether it's needed, do you? Do you know what I mean? So you sort, you give yourself this checklist that you've got to do on a daily basis, but there's loads more actually that your wife needs, or that your little kid needs, or whatever that you don't know that they need. I put some money into her bank account the other day and she was so grateful and I said to her well, you said you didn't have any money. Well, yeah, but I'm not going. I think they have to understand that we're not doing it just because we want to be a man and we want to be strong.
Speaker 1:We're doing it because that's what we want to do.
Speaker 2:We want to support, you know.
Speaker 3:And we want them to be happy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly, and I'm sure that they feel exactly the same way, exactly the same. You know you look at home, right, you've both got kids. We go to work. I mean, des, you don't really go. You know, we go, we go to work, right, the wives stay at home. They might have part-time jobs or whatever. They have to come home.
Speaker 3:So my wife does a cleaning job two days a week right now. She finishes her work, she comes home, she has her lunch, then she's going to pick little boy up from nursery and then he's either giving her grief when she picks him up, so stressful straight away. She brings him home, she has to deal with him. Mummy, mummy, you know what a three-year-old kid's like. Yeah, yeah, constantly on your case. Shit all over the house, because he's got millions of toys all over the place. She's stressing out I'm going to come home and I'm going to moan about the house clean. I've got to make lunches, I've got to get dinner ready, I've got to do this, got to do that. So it. Although we talk about men being rocks, it must be really hard for women as well yeah, no, I'm sure cut the brownie points out.
Speaker 3:I think, I think I've what do you mean?
Speaker 2:yeah, I'm the one that started this, but yeah, but I took over because I thought yeah, I'm having this one as much as I say.
Speaker 1:I always say to my missus, like you would not swap with me. I'm like, yeah, I would. Three days a week, two days a week, one day a week, I'll happily do the school run. But it's what. She pointed something out to me. She's like, yeah, it's all good and well, I have those hours between like half nine and half two, but what can you really fit into that space and it must be so difficult. They want to go to work, but what job's going to employ you from half nine to half two? What job's going to do that? Allow you to do that.
Speaker 2:Especially after you've had three years of having no employment, of a career.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then you need the holidays off six weeks in the summer. You need all this time off.
Speaker 3:All you should have to write when you go to a job interview is CV, mum, Mum yeah, because you've done pretty much everything for the last God knows how many years.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and I agree with her. I do. It's taken me a while to admit it, but I wouldn't want to swap what she has to do every day for what I do every day. Yeah, it's a nice, it's a pleasure for me to take the kids to school and pick them up a couple of days a week yeah.
Speaker 2:So the question is how do you feel?
Speaker 1:about being the rock. It's not, and it's again. It's having this conversation that we're opening our eyes to. Well, actually hold on a minute. Yeah, you may feel like the rock, but I bet your missus also feels like the rock.
Speaker 2:Oh, exactly, we need them more than they do us. 100%. It's again when you think who's the bedrock of a family home? Always the mum, yeah, always the dad is the one that comes and goes, but again, it's also the dad that's the one that's been told to shut up. Get your head down. That's your role. You are nothing but a pay slip for the next 30 years.
Speaker 2:I've seen male family members of my own family grow into themselves after retirement. You find out there's a personality that you hadn't seen of them their whole life and you find out the person that they were and you understand why your parents might have got together in the first place. You know what I mean. It's lovely, but the pressure of running a family, running a home on both sides, is brutal, and this is why it's so important just to actually put yourself in someone else's shoes, understand what it is. They're going through. Not just they do the packed lunches, they do the washing. They do going through. Not just they do the pet lunches, they do the washing, they do the cleaning. It's more a case of what they've sacrificed in order to do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it is a big sacrifice, isn't it, being a full-time parent, because you sacrifice your career, you sacrifice lots of things, and I think. But the other thing is is the men won't talk to each other about it, where the women will have WhatsApp groups. I mean, they'll sit there for three hours in the evening chatting to each other on the sofa.
Speaker 3:I've plenty of times seen my missus writing her a WhatsApp group. Yeah, my Chris is a bastard. He's what you say. What are you writing? Oh, no, no, chris used to be in the bar steward. He used to be a bar steward. He used to work in a bar.
Speaker 2:But a lot of times they give up a lot of their sort of previous life in terms of their friends as well and stuff like that, don't they? Because, again, it's the women that make friends with the school mums.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't make friends with the school dads, do you?
Speaker 2:No, I've got Get out.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's my kid's school. It's not my friendship place.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a big thing yeah. That's a big thing. And they come and talk to you and you're like if I wanted to be friends with you. I've got a friend of mine His kids go to quite a nice school and he was saying to me the other day she's made friends. Now we're inviting the mums and dads over for barbecues and they're sitting there drinking rosé. He's like I don't see my own friends enough. I don't want new friends from the school.
Speaker 3:This is my point, time's limited enough. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:So when you see these posts, it's always on Facebook, isn't it? Sorry, I just had a flashback. Those posts on Facebook. Happy birthday to Mike, let's call him Dave. Happy birthday to Dave. He's a fucking wanker. I hate him all the world, but I do love him really. Like that is. I would hate to receive a message like that. That's a different conversation the one where they say happy birthday to Dave, you are my rock, you are this, this, this and this 99% of the time.
Speaker 2:I'm sure it just means emotionally, sam, can you stop posting birthday things to me please. Happy birthday to my bellend Chris. But yeah, I'm pretty sure when they say rock, it's emotional support, isn't it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it is, and that's the thing. Now we've unpacked this whole, what's the rock? What the fuck does that even mean anymore? Now we've sat down.
Speaker 3:Well, life's changed, hasn't it? You look at the last 30 years. I mean, I don't know what your family lives are like, but I'm pretty much sure that they're the same as mine.
Speaker 2:You'd have known if you'd listened to the podcast.
Speaker 3:Well yeah, but don't forget, I've got a really bad memory. I've actually got a reason, but you know, 30 years ago it was one parent went to work. You know, your dad went to work. Your mum stayed at home when you got home from school, your mum was there when you, when your dad got home from work, his dinner was on the table. You know, it was all like a traditional family, yeah, and now that that rock has gone really isn't it? It's because everybody is now I mean most most people. People live in a two-parent income household, you know, where they don't have any choice to go out and work because the government have shafted us so much that everyone needs to earn money. So it's a completely different dynamic to what it was. It is and again, we are Gen X.
Speaker 3:Me and you are Generation X-ish.
Speaker 2:I think you two may be, Actually you two might be millennials. But it's the same thing Our kids. Sorry, we are the product of parents that instilled those values in us, but they also instilled this new level of independence in women that never happened before. Throughout the late 90s, girl power right Everyone. So the average age of a lady having a baby now is something like 35 to 37 years old. Their first ever child which is unheard of. I was the third born, and my mum was 23.
Speaker 3:Yeah, my missus was 39.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:No, she wasn't 37.
Speaker 2:Is it really? Is it? I was the third born and my mum was 23.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my missus was 39. Yeah, no, she wasn't 37. Is it really? Is it really that old? Yeah, I did not know that God dig them out. That old, Do you hear that? I know? No, but that old Spit it off, shall we Jesus?
Speaker 3:Sorry, ladies, if you're listening.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I can. Eldest is 11, my youngest is 7 and I'm 38. Yeah, do you know what I mean? That's a big, that's a big change. Yeah, in those years I don't mean they're that old, because I'm the same age as that.
Speaker 3:What I can't imagine is just forget about that comment. We won't cut that out we won't cut that out.
Speaker 1:We won't cut that out, we won't cut that out, but yeah, it is.
Speaker 2:So that is a long life of independence before deciding. You know what. I'm going to have a kid, and then you want to instill the same thing in them as well. It's funny, isn't it? Me and Claire sat down last night and neither of what were we watching. We were watching Tribe with Bruce Parry. Have you ever seen that? Oh my God.
Speaker 3:I think, parry, you ever seen that. But, oh my god, he goes. I think it's finished now, but he literally goes and lives with a tribe somewhere in the world for three weeks. Must be a gen x program must be yeah, and he basically does everything that this tribe does.
Speaker 2:It's amazing, but on one of them he's talking about what death means to them, because they're all very spiritual, aren't they in the tribes? And I said to claire, when I'm not scared of death at all, the only only thing I'm gutted about is FOMO. I want to see how my kid's story ends and we're never, ever going to get to.
Speaker 1:No, but I don't want to.
Speaker 2:No, there's that. There's that as well.
Speaker 1:That would be the worst thing in the world, I think, to go through in your life.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That unimaginable, but it's the case of when. So Olivia is, she's just come up to two, so when she's 40,.
Speaker 3:I'm going to be full 84. That's old. I mean, that's really old, not 38. Yeah, shut up. I try not to think about it too much, I'm petrified.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to lie, yeah.
Speaker 3:No, it's it's.
Speaker 1:I've said it six times a day I was going to say yeah.
Speaker 3:Quite a lot yeah, it's mad, isn't it? You had a pound for it, you'd be a millionaire, wouldn't?
Speaker 2:you? Yeah, why do we do it, though? There was a post by Jack today. He went to see Hormozy in Vegas yesterday and he said that. He said you could earn as much money as you possibly imagine In 20 years' time. You will still look back to today and give it all up to have the mind, body and energy that you've got right now. So live it now.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's why I keep saying to you don't live in the past. I don't think you can no point in worrying about yesterday because it's finished. You can't do nothing to control anything that happened in it.
Speaker 2:And there's no point looking to the future in fear either.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you might never come, you might never wake up in the morning.
Speaker 1:Yeah well, while you're looking to the future, you can look at it with joy, and that's what I think we've got to enjoy every day. You've got to look at today. What can you do today to make your tomorrow better?
Speaker 2:I'm going to go home and tell my wife I love her and buy her a bunch of flowers and say thank you for looking after the children while I go and talk shit with probably will make life tomorrow better as well.
Speaker 1:To be fair, it would probably be allowed out of the pub. It would, it would, but that saying, I'm alright, it's easier to just say that isn't it.
Speaker 3:It's easier to say that otherwise you've just got to unpack everything and you're like that's it, yeah, but is that the big problem?
Speaker 1:is that the problem like we, we're quite good because we'll have chats Will say in the WhatsApp group lads, I'm feeling fucking shit today.
Speaker 3:People don't like listening though, do they? No, Still, to this day, people don't like listening. No, you have a conversation with someone and go well, they're like listening about themselves. But then, when they ask you, you'll go oh, actually, mate, I'm not too good. And then they'll go oh about it yeah it's like, okay, well, why bother asking me if you're actually not that bothered?
Speaker 2:yeah, you know what I mean and I know I'm a bit of a prick when I'm in a mood and all I'm not yeah.
Speaker 1:So if you say what's wrong?
Speaker 2:I'll end up being a nod to someone else who don't deserve it.
Speaker 1:I think there's different, though. Yeah, I'm fine as in. I'm fucking crumbling inside is what it is.
Speaker 3:I hate that phrase. That's the saying. That's the saying, that's proper love is what it is.
Speaker 1:No, but it is. It is what it is, isn't it?
Speaker 3:like something that you can't like, something that you've done wrong or whatever, and you're fuming about it and you're really worried about it is what it is. That means I can't be fucked to worry about it because I'm not going to be able to make any difference. All it's going to do is can eat me up inside.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's it, the people that say it is what it is.
Speaker 3:They're the ones that are just festering it inside.
Speaker 2:Festering it inside? Yeah, and they shut down for hours. Nothing, ever happens.
Speaker 1:Yeah, days, weeks, months, years, yeah. Whereas if I feel, if you get something thing, out if, if we had beef between each other, I'm one of these people. You better have that barbecue. You're gonna do, mate. You have lots of beef there, mate. Different kind of beef, though. Um, I'd be like, right, lads, come on, let's out it now, because I can't dwell on it, because it could be nothing and it gets worse as well, doesn't it?
Speaker 3:that's the? That's the worst. It gets worse, and you just right, what's up, what's wrong?
Speaker 1:oh no, I was just sorry, mate. I was busy. I'm in my own world at the moment, in my own bubble. I've got my own shit going on. It was nothing towards you. Alright, what's up, des, can we help? Oh well, yeah, actually, I'm this, this I'm trying to sort this road trip out. I need a bit of help. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:and then you end up. Which bit of help, yeah, well, that's it that's it.
Speaker 1:Well, we need a venue first. We do need a bleeding venue but no, you're right.
Speaker 2:Well, what's really nice as well having come from an employment to now carving out this business I want another thing. One of the things I'm most proud of is that I'm now surrounded by people that have all got that mindset. There's no one that would just bottle something up. All of us whether it's this podcast, whether it's us, whether it's this podcast, whether it's the agency, whether it's my wife we're all in the position where we go right, we need a chat here, and nobody harbours it. You know what I mean. Everyone moves on, get it out on the table and move on.
Speaker 3:I've never been to talk. I'm 42. Probably the only last I'd say 18 months is when I've actually started talking about things. That's my missus. Like I used to get home from work, I'd sit on the sofa and I wouldn't speak because I'd be mulling things over in my head constantly. And then about 18 months ago, my best mate reached out to me. He's really struggling. He asked me for some help and I don't know what it did. It's just switched something in my brain. Hang on a minute. If he's talking to me because he's worrying about something, because he's feeling a bit shit about things, maybe I need to do that. Maybe I need to talk more. And you do start talking more and it does make you feel better. It really does help All these blokes out there.
Speaker 3:We talk about being the rock, but a lot of men still to this day they think that they cannot talk about their problems because it makes them feel weak. I've got two best mates that know exactly who they are. One and I've got two best mates. They know exactly who they are. One's a talker and one is not a talker at all. He will struggle in silence and I don't give a toss what he says. Sometimes he struggles. We can see it, but he won't talk about it, and I know for a fact, if he mentioned what the problem was, he'd have three or four people that would be around him instantly having a chat and he'd feel a hundred times better about himself, you know. So, for anyone that is listening, that is struggling, don't bottle it up.
Speaker 2:Speak to somebody and you're not going to be judged by your mates and if you are judged by your mates, get rid of them. Exactly, yeah, and the thing is as well.
Speaker 1:You bottle it up, bottle it up. Where's the point that you break? What happens then? What happens when you've bottled, saying up so much that you finally do break? Do you go on a drug binge? Do you take your own life? Do you know what I mean? Do you hurt someone else?
Speaker 2:Do you hurt someone else?
Speaker 1:It's a serious, serious thing, like speak open, and I know that we'll preach this in a lot of episodes, but it's because it fucking works. It is really hard, though.
Speaker 3:It is hard. We sit here and we tell everyone to talk to people. But it's so difficult If you've never done it before and you've just been drummed into your head that men need to be strong. They don't talk. If you talk, if you cry, you're weak. It doesn't mean you're weak at all. So I think it makes you a better man to be fair, because if you show your feelings and this is difficult for me to talk about because I've never, ever, shown my feelings Even just talking about it now makes me feel emotional, like emotional, like it don't if you, I was to the point where, like a few years ago, I'd bottled so much stuff up that I was at breaking point.
Speaker 3:My missus said to me I'm so worried about you that you're gonna, the switch is gonna go. Um, I'm getting uncomfortable now. Um, and then I just started talking. You know, and thanks to my mate, if I hadn't, I probably would have flipped that switch and I probably I don't know what I wouldn't have I wouldn't have ended, ended myself, because that's not about me. But, um, you know, you do get to the point where you're nearly on that, that seesaw. You know, you 100, you have to sort yourself out. I mean, I was, I was struggling the other week when I because I just couldn't deal with all the pressures of everything that was going on my head and I reached out to you and it we sat and had breakfast, didn't we? And it and it sorted my head out. But if you don't talk, you are fucked. Yeah, yeah, totally fucked.
Speaker 1:Well, look, this is a prime example. A few years ago, me and my missus had a. Basically I moved out. I moved out and I could not for the life of me work out what was going on. I was fucked, I wasn't sleeping, I was staying in a hotel, then going to see my mate here and do it, trying to keep myself busy. I was going to the gym like seven days a week just to try and take my mind off of it. And eventually we went to see a counsellor and the counsellor sat us down and basically said you're doing this and you're doing this, you need to have a conversation. We had a conversation and, touch wood, that was five christmases ago, so four christmases ago last year, I don't think.
Speaker 1:In all those years we, we have gone to bed pissed off of each other because we change the dynamic of, yeah, we, we out the problems there and then we don't fizz up and then explode yeah, amazing, isn't it? And it's honestly it changed over. We wouldn't. If we hadn't done that therapy, I don't think that we would still be together and now we're sort of we're quite strong. We are a very, quite a strong couple. We're a very strong, quite a strong couple. We're a very strong couple. We don't row and we celebrate around every Christmas time. Another year of no rowing, yeah nice.
Speaker 3:No, obviously we have bickering and we'll say it you don't celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. No, I don't.
Speaker 1:Definitely not. Mate, Definitely not.
Speaker 3:Sorry.
Speaker 1:I don't know why I said that.
Speaker 3:Oh, I don't know what I said there? Oh well, we've just lost them listeners.
Speaker 2:We've just lost them listeners there's so much I want to say no, don't listen.
Speaker 3:We brand ourselves on saying what we think so well, that's it.
Speaker 1:That's it. I don't believe in it. There you go. I said what I think I do.
Speaker 3:I celebrate Christmas Do you?
Speaker 1:What are you looking at Easter?
Speaker 3:Eating some chocolate.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm going to Ireland, yeah, to um yeah, to celebrate Easter.
Speaker 3:To see how they do it over there With a nice pint of Guinness. Yeah, you open the egg up. There's a nice pint of Guinness in the middle, or something they should do. Quite possibly it must be on a gimbal or something, so they don't actually rock over as well, and in a fridge. It's an expensive Easter egg, isn't it?
Speaker 2:I'm beginning to see some flaws in this. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm not sure. Let's park that idea. Let's park that idea.
Speaker 2:I love that we've started with. How do I go from being Dwayne Johnson to how do I get Guinness inside an Easter egg?
Speaker 3:yeah the mind wonders. Well, we say this something for everyone in this podcast, don't we?
Speaker 1:the mind wonders, variety is the spice of life. The mind wonders. But yeah, no, well, that was about being the rock. I enjoyed that, boys. I think we've, yeah, I think we've completely smashed. We're not the rock in the relationship no, no our wives are the rocks in the relationship and our girlfriends, I don't know about you boys.
Speaker 3:I'm going home for a session of wrestling on TV in a pot of Guinness mate it's Wrestlemania this weekend, is it yeah? Excellent, I'm not paying 20 quid no, watch it on no you can't, it's all on.
Speaker 2:Netflix. Yeah, yeah, yeah, cool, come round, mine, I'll be up one o'clock in the morning give me a lift home yeah, war Raiders are starting with the new day.
Speaker 3:Well, we're going again, aren't we? I know?
Speaker 1:so long, everyone right cheers everyone. If you liked this episode, give us some feedback, give us some comments like it, subscribe to it, do whatever you've got to do, but get us Get us up those rankings, help us get more listeners.
Speaker 2:Give us a review.
Speaker 1:Yeah, give us a review. The reviews really help, and then we know how you feel about what we're talking about, and then it will help us get better, because that's what it's all about.
Speaker 3:Yeah, more Guinness to the Easter egg chat. More Guinness to the Easter egg chat.
Speaker 1:Anyway, we'll see you next time. So long Bye-bye.