The Untold Podcast

Bonus Ep 1: We Said We’d Do It… Did We Fuck

• The Untold Family • Season 3 • Episode 1

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0:00 | 15:17

Welcome to the first ever Untold Podcast bonus episode — and the start of our weekly accountability check-ins.

This episode is less polished, more honest, and very real.

We cover:

  • Chris getting humbled by a CBeebies workout with his 4-year-old
  • Ash getting destroyed by Way of the Vikings (and realising how unfit he actually is)
  • Setting real, uncomfortable accountability for the next 7 days
  • Parenting moments that hit hard and force change
  • Gym fear, excuses, no water, no sleep… and still showing up

This is what accountability actually looks like — not motivation quotes, just real life.

We’re doing these bonus episodes every Thursday, holding each other (and ourselves) accountable in real time.

If you want to be part of this properly, join the private Facebook community:
 👉 https://www.facebook.com/groups/2057132261687954/

Release schedule:
🎙️ Full episodes every Monday
⚡ Bonus accountability episodes every Thursday
(on all podcast platforms)

Send us Fan Mail

Surprise Pass And Family Reactions

SPEAKER_04

Welcome to the bonus episode of the Unsold Podcast. First of all.

SPEAKER_02

First of many.

SPEAKER_04

Right, today we're talking about what are we talking about? We're having a bit of a laugh, first of all, but we're gonna hold each other accountable for a few things.

SPEAKER_02

This is accountable. This is accountable. Hold on. Hello?

SPEAKER_03

I failed.

SPEAKER_02

Fuck off, you're lying, because you'd be shouting and screaming if you'd failed.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah, I'm passed with one thought.

SPEAKER_02

You're live on the Untold Podcast, Harvey. We're just doing the bonus episode. Yeah. Accountability.

SPEAKER_03

Hello.

SPEAKER_02

Hello, he fought.

SPEAKER_03

I passed with one thought, mum. Huh? I'm passed with one thought.

SPEAKER_00

Oh yes!

SPEAKER_04

And my one thought was right at the end as well when I was doing my reverse bay park in the um at the test centre.

SPEAKER_00

I nearly had a cliche.

SPEAKER_01

Well done.

SPEAKER_00

I'm in shower. Try not to shout.

SPEAKER_01

I'm on a podcast. I'm doing a podcast. Yeah, yeah. I said we've got to do it.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01

Well done, Harvey.

SPEAKER_02

Well done, mate.

SPEAKER_03

Wait, hang on, wait, what happens now?

SPEAKER_02

He's got a phony insurance company, let him know he's passed, and then he can do what he wants. Alright. Just be sensible, Harvey. You've got he's got a black box in the car, so he can't break the speed limit anyway. Be sensible.

SPEAKER_00

Actually, you live?

SPEAKER_02

It's not live, but we're uh just live, sorry. That's all that's all right. It's a podcast, but we are recording the podcast, and we're halfway through it.

SPEAKER_00

Hi, podcast winkers.

SPEAKER_02

That's my wife, everybody. Right, well done, Harvey. I'll call you in a bit.

SPEAKER_00

Harvey, well done.

Fog, Flights, And A Cancelled Test

SPEAKER_02

Love you, bye. Well, there you go. There's Ricky Alaboo being a parent. He um passed his driver test. So there's a story behind this. When we was in, he was supposed to have it on the 31st of January. We was in Spain. I paid 350 quid in flights for them to fly back, do his driving test, and then fly back out to Spain for my dad's birthday on the 1st.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Flew back. 31st of December. 31st of December. Flew back, rang them up in the morning. Yeah, all good. Went to the test centre, sat there for 10 minutes, they cancelled it, it was too foggy.

SPEAKER_04

No, you never told me that.

SPEAKER_02

Mate fucking. We were all in Spain. We all had like we went and bought party poppers for when they got back from the airport on New Year's Eve. But congratulations for driving. Ella, who's seven, wrote on her little tablet thing. I've got her. Congratulations, my big brother, and everything. And it all just, we said, Oh, they've they cancelled it. He's passed. He's passed. That's good. Yeah, mate. You put in the work, you put in the F. I'll have a beer. Oh no.

SPEAKER_04

I'll have a beer to celebrate if I'll do that.

SPEAKER_02

Non-alcoholic beer.

SPEAKER_04

He's not old enough to. It does lead us into this little bonus episode, doesn't it? So this is the accountability episode. This is the accountability episode.

Declaring The Accountability Theme

SPEAKER_02

Well, I think, yeah. So, I mean, we're both lazy, unfit, fat bastards. I've proved that today.

SPEAKER_04

What happened?

SPEAKER_01

Tell the listers, Chris. What happened?

Kids’ Workout Exposes Fitness Reality

SPEAKER_04

I stayed at the in laws last night, because obviously no water. And uh got up this morning, and Joe Wicks was on the TV, but not any old TV, CBB's, a children's programme. My four-year-old went, Daddy, let's do the let's do the exercises. I literally did uh what did I do? I done some lunges. I'd done about 15 lunges and about five climb like right uh what are they, ladder climbs or something on the floor. I was fucked. I was laying on the floor, mate, for a good five minutes, breathing probably the heaviest I've breathed for a long, long time. I could hardly talk. My missus was laughing, my little boy was going, Daddy, what's wrong? What's going on? Why are you laying on the floor? Like, he's still he's still going like flat out at full speed, like doing all these exercises. And I realised it's a children's TV programme. And CBS bees is not for teenage children, it's for tiny little children like my son. I was blowing out my ass. I'm not joking I'm not even joking, sweating and everything. Like, there's my accountability. That is me now making sure that my uh what is it, the induction into that gym gets rebooked when I finish. Well, I can't it's not open, so I can't ring it today, but as soon as that gym's open, I'm in there for my induction and getting myself fit again. Got to lose weight, got to get healthy. Because if I can't even do something on the living room floor with my son, how am I gonna play football with him? How am I gonna run up and down the field with him? How am I gonna go swimming with him and do all the things that dads need to do with their kids?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

You know? It's pathetic.

SPEAKER_03

It's scary though, as well, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01

When did it get like that?

SPEAKER_03

Do you know what I mean? This is the thing. Yeah, when did it get like that? Well, as far as I was aware, quarter past eight this morning. Yeah. But it actually wasn't, was it? It was months and months and months ago. Months and months and months of not doing anything. Yeah. Imagine if you've done months and months and months.

SPEAKER_02

Imagine if, remember when we started this podcast, we were like, oh yeah, well, I'm gonna join the gym, we're gonna do this, we're gonna do that. And none of us did it. None of us, and I've looked back, like, what if I'd have gone to boxing twice a week, every week for the last six weeks? Yeah. I wouldn't have been blowing out of my fucking eye.

SPEAKER_04

You had a black eye every week, you had a broken nose.

When Did Health Slip This Far

SPEAKER_02

No, they can't punch me. You can't punch this fucking beautiful, mate. No, I just stand in the corner and do the skipping. Yeah. I can't even skip for more than five seconds because the floor breaks. Um, but that that's something. So so okay, off the back of that then, what are you gonna do over the next seven days until we meet again in this studio? What are you gonna do? Give me three things. Gonna get my induction done at the gym. Okay, that's it.

Setting Real Goals For One Week

SPEAKER_04

Depending on, I've got no idea when the gym's gonna be opening, mate. So you can't say you've got to go to the gym six times in the next six days. Um get my induction booked. At least go up the gym if it's open. Um and just obviously count my my main one is every week is to just not drink. Okay. Um, I don't know. I get up at half five every morning anyway. So that's that's that's not a thing. Um I'd actually like to read more, but I don't have time to read, and that's not me just blagging. I'd actually quite like to read more, but I don't I don't sit there and do nothing. I don't. Um three things for accountability, mate. That's hard. You'd be like, Yeah, but you could audible when you're in the gym. That's boring, mate. I wanna I want to listen to some banging tunes, you know? Um, I suppose I could do that. I don't know, mate, really.

SPEAKER_02

What'd you Why don't you give me something to be accountable for? Okay. I want you to make two bits of content for the Untold Podcast. Fine. Alright.

SPEAKER_04

I'll do I'd put I'll tell you what, let's let's bring some accountability in for myself. Make it three.

SPEAKER_02

Alright, we're gonna make three bits of content for the podcast. Bought myself some new glasses.

SPEAKER_04

Oh nice, mate, yeah?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I've seen them.

SPEAKER_03

Now I want some.

SPEAKER_04

First time I've ever worn glasses. Actually, I'm gonna put them on. If anyone, if anyone watching this episode, have a look. Shiny object. Have a little look at these bad boys. Got some meta glasses. Not only do I look sexy, but actually they're gonna be proper good for a bit of decent content, aren't they? You look a bit like Stephen Hawking's, mate. No, I don't. I'm joking.

unknown

I'm joking.

SPEAKER_04

No, I'm gonna offend that.

SPEAKER_02

I'm gonna tell you.

SPEAKER_04

That's actually really harsh, you shouldn't do that. I do apologise if anybody's listening and got offended by that. No, sorry. It's their choice to be offended. What um come on, give me something funny to happen to you. I quite quite like that funny bit then, actually. Something's you mate, you've got to made a bit of a prat prat yourself on that X E not XC, the old uh the Viking thing you've done. Oh money to go.

Gadgets, Jokes, And Content Plans

SPEAKER_02

Alright, alright, okay, so on Saturday I didn't turn up. So Sunday I got to wherever the fuck we was at half six in the morning. And the first hill, they call it Valhalla, the first or Valhilla, the first hill, I was like, fuck me, we're five minutes in. I can't do this. The the organiser Dan he's walking next to me trying to have a conversation with me, and I'm blowing out my ass. We've done five fucking minutes. And obviously, yes, I'm ill, I'm not using that as an excuse, but I was like, Jesus Christ, but then I got that like second wind. And then last night I show up, and there's 20 of us doing this zigzag thing up and down this hill, which is brutal, really. And they're all running it, and I'm fucking crawling up the hill. Like, literally, I'm like, Jesus Christ, when did I get that bad? When did I get that bad? And that's when I was like, right, fuck me. I've got a if I'm doing XCC in March, um, Northumberland, I I couldn't even walk up a hill, let alone careful. Is that Newcastle? No, North North, like, I don't even know. I just showed my geography is so bad. My geography's bad as well. Northumberland.

SPEAKER_04

Northumberland's New I'm sure that's Newcastle, way. I'm probably totally right. Don't don't don't don't worry about that. It's not that important. I mean anyway, someone will call me out on it.

SPEAKER_02

If I'm gonna do XCC, I've got to do I've got to fucking sort my shit out.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Because I will die. I will literally probably die.

SPEAKER_04

I just quite fancy doing that to be fair, but I I'm not sure I want to spend all the money on the equipment.

SPEAKER_02

You can rent it. You don't need a lot, to be fair.

SPEAKER_04

Wait, I saw the bag that you had in that video you sent me.

Brutal Hills And Training For XCC

SPEAKER_02

You know what you'd packed your house up. I need to get a different bag, that was too heavy. I think that bag weighs.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, the bag's too heavy. It's not all the stuff that was in it. No, no, nothing.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, but you need that. You need to be comfortable, don't you? You've got to take kitchen sink. Yeah. You've got to take kitchen sink. Um so what am I gonna do? One of the big things, one of the big things, and this is a bit it's a bit dark, it's not dark, it's a bit deep. Yesterday, when I left the zigzags, I was in the car on the way home, and I rang my wife to say this. That was fucking horrific. That was the most horrible thing I've done, but it was good at the same time. She said, Yeah, um, Ayla, who's my 11-year-old, she broke my heart. She won't mind me saying this. She said, She wants help, she's not comfortable, she wants help losing weight, she wants help being more active, and that broke my heart. So, one thing that I'm gonna do is I'm gonna show up for my daughter. I'm gonna show up for her tonight. I'm taking her, picking her up from school, taking her to Mountain Warehouse. Because I'm hiking and doing stuff, I'm gonna buy her some hiking boots, I'm gonna buy a waterproof jacket, and we are gonna buy a head torch, and we're gonna go hiking. I walk the dog.

SPEAKER_04

Love her.

SPEAKER_02

And that's one thing that I'm gonna do. So I am going to be present and help my daughter. She's fine, she's happy, she just rather she wishes a bit like me. I look in the mirror and I think you're a bit of a fat cunt, Ash. Think how much happier you'd be if you lost your boobies. What? Sorry, I'm not allowed. So bad. Sorry. So bad. That's another sorry anybody. Sorry, anybody for that.

SPEAKER_04

Wow, I mean, that's passion though, right? He's talking about his kids, so we'll let him off.

Showing Up For Our Kids

SPEAKER_02

Um the other thing that I'm gonna do is leave the dummy in the car. Oh, that was the one that I was gonna try and get you to do, huh? That's that's the big, big thing for anybody listening who vapes, it's not fucking good for you. No. I prefer to smoke because I don't smoke in my car, don't smoke in my bedroom, I don't wake up in the middle of the night and think, oh, look at that little dummy. Oh, little sucky sucky. Like, fuck me.

SPEAKER_04

Like, and I think that's And to be fair, it is massive and pink, so it does make you look a bit weird, I'm not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_02

But yeah, like I did the London to Brighton two years ago, and I was so I just couldn't get my breath. That's the thing. With the march, with the zigzags last night, I could not catch my breath. And I think it's down to the vaping, and I've got it's not tested. We don't know. We know that cigarettes do whatever they do. Yeah, it's gonna come out in three years' time that vaping literally evaporates.

SPEAKER_04

It probably will be. I I don't care what anybody says. The chemicals in there, if you look at the chemical list, half of them you can't even pronounce, and half of them the internet, the internet doesn't even know what they are. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so that's that's that's the second thing. I'm gonna I'm gonna put the vape down. Um once this one's run out, that's it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So I've got this one there, it's in the car. If I need it, like if I'm clucking, if I really need a bit of a puff on the old pink dildo, then uh, it's there.

SPEAKER_04

Um and I wanna I've got I've got your third one, you're not you're not you're not picking your own, mate. Of course. You've picked one for me.

SPEAKER_00

Alright.

SPEAKER_04

Mine is so easy to mention as well.

SPEAKER_00

What?

SPEAKER_04

You've asked me to make three bits of content.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I want you to make three bits of content and not look at yourself in the camera. If you for if you once in any of those bits of content look at yourself rather than the camera, I'm gonna make you do a forfeit next week.

SPEAKER_02

What about if you look away from the camera? That's fine.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

Ditching The Vape And Breathing Better

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that's fine. Just just done. Make me do a fucking forfeit. Oh, I've got another one for you. You've got to teach me fucking TikTok shop, you best fan. That's fine, mate. We keep talking about it. Okay. So Chris is gonna get his induction done and go to the gym. Chris is gonna continue to not drink, and Chris is gonna put three bits of content for the podcast. Not for you, for the podcast. Um, and one of them wants to promote the community we're trying to build. Oh, alright. Well, that's four then. Well, no, it's just one bit of co- Okay. Yeah, that'd be in the content though, wouldn't it? Yeah, you can do three plus one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. That's four now. It's three. Ah, mate, it's do four.

SPEAKER_04

I thought I'd do big cocky and give you three, and then do five. Oh, what was your third one? Stop looking at yourself, that's it, yeah. Stop looking at myself. I mean, if nobody's seen Ash making content, then just have a little look at the content and you'll see what I mean.

SPEAKER_02

I'm so sorry, mate. Yeah, but you do it for a living, you twat. But no, I appreciate the uh I appreciate the criticism, Chris, as always. Fine, mate, it's what friends are for, right? It's hard, not looking at the colour. So yeah, that was uh that's our account of billability. Now next week's obviously will be a bit more because I'm gonna have to rip you because the induction still wasn't done, you still haven't showered, you still haven't washed because the southern water are load of shit, so you haven't been to the gym. Um you got absolutely sloshed because you couldn't wash.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, well, that that is the only issue. I've main my main issue at the moment is I haven't got any water to drink, so the obvious answer would be to drink beer, but yeah, and you didn't do three bits of content because you hadn't washed, and you look like a skank.

SPEAKER_02

I think they're all quite good excuses to be fair. I'm helping it. No, she didn't go to the gym. I'm still pissed. Um no, but that was Yeah.

Content Without Staring At Yourself

SPEAKER_04

I hope you like this, guys. This is like obviously the bonus episode. We're gonna be doing this every every Thursday now. Just a little bit, just it just allows us to just talk a bit freely, doesn't it? And just be ourselves a little bit more. Not that we're not on the podcast, but obviously when we're talking talking about things like this, we can have a bit more of a laugh and you know. So I hope you've enjoyed the episode. Uh don't forget you can listen to Mondays now, Monday.

SPEAKER_02

You can see us on Monday and Thursday, 5 a.m. both launched. Um hold yourself accountable, join the community, yeah, and we'll we'll share more stuff on the community group once we get some members. We've got two at the moment, one of them's you and one of them's me.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Join the untold podcast community on Facebook group. And we'll see you next week for another episode of Chris. Have you done what you said you were gonna do? Nope. Take care, guys. Say you a bit. I've been Ash, and he's still Chris. Bye.

unknown

Bye bye.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god.