The Untold Podcast

Let’s Talk About Our Relationship With Alcohol

• The Untold Family • Season 3 • Episode 2

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0:00 | 43:15

This episode isn’t about quitting drinking.
 And it’s definitely not about telling anyone what to do.

It’s just two lads being honest about our relationship with alcohol — the good, the bad, and the stuff you only really think about when you’re lying awake at 4am.

We talk about:

  • why alcohol can feel like confidence… until it doesn’t
  • the anxiety, broken sleep and clouded judgement after drinking
  • using alcohol as a reward, a habit, or a coping mechanism
  • how it affects showing up for work, your kids and the people around you
  • why some people quit, some don’t, and most of us sit somewhere in the middle

Season 3 is about accountability and showing up properly — and for a lot of people, alcohol plays a bigger part in that than they realise.

We’re not experts. We’re not preaching.
 This is just our experience.

If this hits home, join the community and get involved:
 https://www.facebook.com/groups/2057132261687954/

New episodes:
🎙 Full episodes every Monday
🎧 Bonus accountability episodes every Thursday

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SPEAKER_02:

Hello everyone, welcome back to season three of the Untold Podcast, where I'm Ash. And I'm Chris. And this season's about accountability. Um, I thought this week, based on what you said last week, let's talk about alcohol.

unknown:

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Let's talk about alcohol and how it's your best friend at sometimes, but your worst enemy at others. And before anyone starts, this isn't gonna be us saying, Don't drink, you're a prick if you drink. We've decided to go sober because I definitely haven't decided to go sober. Um, I'm going to Spain on Friday, and I guarantee I will not be sober for my four days in Spain again.

SPEAKER_01:

I just to keep mentioning Spain all the time.

SPEAKER_02:

I told you you can come out there. I'm not drinking, am I? I'm not coming to Spain for you, am I?

SPEAKER_01:

It's cheap, mate. The pints are cheap, it's cheaper than water. Well, yeah, it's over here as well, mate, to be fair. Um yeah, I'm looking forward to this one. Actually, it's uh it's quite a I think it's a little iron for quite a lot of people, to be fair. Make people look a lot of people think as well.

SPEAKER_02:

I think it's because it's January, because people are doing dry January, um, I think it's quite a good we've said this for ages, isn't we? Let's do a uh episode on accountability with and relationship with alcohol. Because I like a drink until the next day or four o'clock in the morning when the anxiety spikes and I can't sleep because my brain's going absolutely mental. You get that?

SPEAKER_01:

Massively, mate, yeah. No, I don't really get anxiety over it, I just can't sleep. My whole body just feels like it's just wired wrong when I've had a proper drink. Just completely wired wrong. I lay in bed and I'm just wide awake, or I just toss and turn or not, I just get uncomfortable. It's just that following day, innit? It's being exhausted all the time. That's that's what I that's what I struggle struggle with when I drink, it's just the cloudiness and just the tiredness where I don't sleep at all. I don't really sleep anyway, the best of times before if I chuck a load of booze in me, it just destroys me.

SPEAKER_02:

No. It's um I like that feeling after one or two drinks. I like that, the confidence, the like, yeah, I'm fucking unstoppable, mate. And then you go too far. And there's a very, very um, yeah, you go that little bit too far.

SPEAKER_01:

You're you're talking to one of the people that is probably the most nutty when I've had a drink as well. So I love a drink and I've always loved a drink, but I don't like drink because I don't like the fact that even though I'm sensible when I get to the pub, after five or six pints, I'll basically do whatever I think would be funny to make people laugh. I've come off the back of horses, been pissed, and ended up in hospital with uh septicemia. Fucking hell. Um I've slid down poles that people have actually fallen down and died doing, knowing full well that it's happened before. I've done ridiculous stupid things, mate. Jumped in the sea in Brighton at four in the morning when I'm so drunk I can hardly even walk, let alone swim. It's just stupid things, and it's brilliant while you're doing it, isn't it? Let's not beat around the bush. If you know, in your twenties, when you're very young and you can deal with the hangover, you get up in the morning, you feel right as rain, you can get on with life. It's brilliant because it it is a mate, it I don't care what anybody says, and people go, Oh, you shouldn't talk about alcohol like that, because it's not actually that good, but it's brilliant. I've had some of the best experiences in my life. When you can remember it, festivals, raves, parties, uh just in general, round people's houses when you're much more relaxed, you have much more of a nicer time, don't you? Sometimes and stuff, and and it all adds to the memories of life, which is really important to make, but at the same time, it's when it gets to the point where actually I'm waking up in the morning and it's taking me three days to become a get over my hangover, and then oh, I'm only one day away from the weekend again.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Then the Friday starts, and you drink Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and then you're back at work Monday and you're feeling like shit all day again, all week again.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I think like for me like either there's there's one time and it scares the shit out of me. Like, literally, fucking we was at a party in a fucking field somewhere, like probably a good five, six miles from my house at the time, and I was so pissed, but somehow I got home. Um turns out I was walking up the road and got in a random car with two blokes, and they dropped me home. Luckily, they dropped me home. And it's scared, like thinking of that, like when you're when you're getting that pissed, like I used to be the kid, people I'll ask you out tonight. Yeah, of course I am. Yeah, of course I am. Fucking people used to joke, oh yeah, but you got your own seat in the in the bar. Do you know what I mean? No one else is allowed to sit there, and like that was me, that was my identity in the local town. Like, I was always out every fucking weekend. I was out. And that looking back at it, now that's fucking right at the thought of me.

SPEAKER_01:

You think you've oh I'm a bit of a celebrity, but actually no, you're a bit of a knob.

SPEAKER_02:

You would have fucking caught you with a town drunk, mate. Yeah. You were the town drunk photos of me on fucking Facebook of me passing out and people drawing on me and shit, fucking dicks in my mouth and everything. Like, and you look at me, you go oh, that was hilarious. Nah, was it? So did you say drawing dicks in your mouth, or did you say dicks in your mouth? No, drawing, drawing dicks in my mouth.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm so sorry, I had to come back to that one. Um thing is, right, what you said there though, what you've got to remember is you know, I've said about in the 20s getting so drunk that you have like more amazing times. You can't have a good time sober, but what you've just said there, actually, you know, if you're that drunk, and especially if you're female walking down the road and you and someone pulls over, you know, nine times out of ten, you're so drunk you do do end up to things like that. And unfortunately, we live in a world where now, 20 years ago, you could have done that, you probably would have got to have it nine times, well, 99.9% of the time. Unfortunately, the world we're living now, I wouldn't even want to do it once. No. And I certainly wouldn't want my daughter or my son doing it, you know?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, and it it is a worry when you start thinking about it like that, see, I didn't I didn't really think about it when I was talking about the way that I used to drink and have a laugh, because I was always, I have got this, there's something that goes on when I drink alcohol. I could pretend that I'm sober, even though I've had 10-15 pints. I could still pretend that I'm fairly sober, even though inside I want to collapse and like just fall asleep. But some people don't have that, you know. I've got friends that we in the in the wardrobes, you know, appear in the wardrobe when they're drunk, or they'll they'll empty the the side drawers of the bedside table and have a wee in there because they think it's the toilet or whatever, you know. They're so drunk they literally have got no idea what they're doing.

SPEAKER_02:

So it is, although it can be very fun, it can be so dangerous to so many people, so many people, and and not even that, it's like it's not just dangerous in the moment, it's like, and I think this. I went for a period in my life where I'd probably do two, maybe three bottles of red wine every fucking night. Yeah. And I'd go home and I'd open a bottle of wine. And that's like that was like a wake-up call for me. Now I'm at a point where I enjoy a drink, I have a drink, um, I'm not gonna hide that from anybody. I like going out, um, I like having a nice bottle of red with a meal, I like fucking having a few beers in the sun, I like drinking Guinness in Ireland. But I don't want to be at a point where I don't I know now when to stop. Nine times out of ten. I know when I've had enough, I know when to stop, and I think that's the point.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I think that's the point. When you get to a point where you're doing what I did and you're going home and you're using alcohol as a coping mechanism, that's when shit's got to change, yeah, I think.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, a lot of people do it, you know. This is we all know people that that that drink to hide things and drink drink to mask everything that goes on, and when they're not happy they drink, and when they're happy they drink. So it's just a revolving carousel of alcohol for a lot of people. But um, I see drinking a completely different light, you know. I I drink to get drunk, because that's as far as I'm concerned, that's what alcohol is for. It was designed many, many years ago for cowboys to get drunk in the saloon, you know. Um if I'm gonna go if I'm gonna drink, I'm gonna drink, you know. There's no point in me having one or two beers because what's the point in that? I might as well go home and have a cup of tea. I'm gonna have six, seven, eight, nine, ten pints.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And before anyone says it, yes, I can drink ten pints. Um there's a video on TikTok. But um, but yeah, no, I I and I I don't see the point. I I never really until the last couple of years where I have started drinking at home, I never really see the point in drinking at home. No. Because it doesn't really make me feel like, oh, I need a drink to relax. So what's the point in having a drink at home? I'm I'm up the pub to to have a few beers or at a party to get drunk. I'm not I'm not a social drinker really.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. And I think that's not true.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm a social drinker, not a social drinker, not a home drinker, whatever you call it.

SPEAKER_02:

And I think that's like I I would never fucking I have done before, but very, very rarely would I sit there and drink on my own.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Um it's always a it's always about the social, it's the camaraderie, the banter up to level to it. Yeah. After three or four points points. After three or four pints. It's your dad free today, by the way. Yeah, yeah. After three or four pints, you laugh a bit more, you joke a bit more, and that's sort of where it needs to sort of if you could stay at that level, then I'd love that. But even now, like a bottle of red wine, I'll be fucked for two or three days. Self-confidence literally falls out of my ass. Yeah, and I can't like that's what gets me. That's what really gets me. It's like I enjoy it when I do it, but then I regret it for three or four days afterwards, and you get to a point where you're like, and that's not even getting smashed, that's literally a bottle of wine. Like, yeah, to myself with a straw, but that's that's literally no, but that's it.

SPEAKER_01:

Like, it is a two-litre bottle as well, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02:

Free, mate. Um, but no, that's it. Like, but I enjoy wine. It's quite interesting because we had I put this out in the Facebook community and did a real post thing with a paw on it saying, Who's doing dry January this year? There was only a few replies, but everybody said no. I think it's pointless, mate.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't I don't see why anybody would do dry January. I know some people do it for charities and stuff, but Yeah, but if you're at that point. Yeah, but I think if you if you do dry January, what's the point in doing it? Because you're only setting yourself a target of a month. Yeah. And actually all you do is you go, Oh, I've done dry January, now I'm gonna have a drink. First effect. Everybody I've spoken to this. And then what is the point? What are you what are you actually achieving? All you're achieving is the the fact that you're having to force yourself to prove to yourself that you cannot drink for a month. So actually, it's quite a negative thing. If you think about it in the big bigger picture, all you're doing is giving your own thought process the idea of actually I I'm not reliant on drink, whereas you are because on the first of February, bang, you're straight back into it again. Yeah, um, I guess some people do it for health reasons, but actually, nine times out of ten, it's like a diet. If you diet really heavily, then you start you stop dieting. Most people go back to putting weight on ten times quicker than they did while they were on the diet, anyway, so it's it's kind of a pointless exercise. I've I know that for a fact because I've done it many times myself. Um but yeah, it's it it's hard it's hard to talk about booze, isn't it? Because it has so many positives but also so many negatives at the same time. So it's it's one of those uh those Jekyll and Hides, isn't it really, unfortunately?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it's um like I like I said, I like it and I hate it at the same time.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And I think this whole like I've spoken to so many people that have said that I do the dry January and then literally the first of Feb, I'm absolutely sloshed. I've like like drinking, I've saved up all this, I can have I can have 50 pints now.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, unless unless you're somebody that goes out and drinks 30 pints and doesn't get pissed, do dry January, and then you can go out and drink five pints and you'd be steaming, wouldn't you? So save yourself a load of money, I guess, is one way of looking at it, but I wouldn't advise it personally.

SPEAKER_02:

Now, there are certain things, obviously, over the last few months, drinkers helped me. Whether this is the right thing to say or the wrong thing to say, someone sober will say you've got a problem, Ash. But obviously, like when my old man went, the drink was like a release, it was like a we'd have a drink together.

SPEAKER_01:

It's a coping mechanism, as well, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02:

My mum called me last week, she was in floods of tears, it all got a bit overwhelming. And she was talking to my brother actually at the time as well, and he said, Go and pour yourself a glass of wine, just sit and have a glass of wine. And I spoke to her later because I was worried that she was gonna do the whole bottle. And my mum don't drink like one and a half glass of wine, and she's tipsy, like. And I spoke to her later, and she was like, Do you know what? No, she said I I poured the first glass and I had half the second glass, and I just felt better. She said, I just just like relaxed me about a bit, and I think that's alright. That's alright. But if you were doing that every like if she started doing that every day, I'd be a bit worried about her. Do you know what I mean? And I think there's a I think, yeah, it's it's good and it's bad.

SPEAKER_01:

It's like it's hard though, because obviously I'm not I've I've I I'm I'm on day 20 of no drinking and I feel like I'm I've coped so well because I've been working every night. So I've not been there's no temptation there whatsoever. I haven't had a thought in my head about drinking. I think I've had one day where I was I was thinking, oh I can't like a beer tonight. Um but it's hard to talk about it because as soon as you stop drinking, everyone goes, Oh, you're an ex-drinker, you're gonna be so negative about alcohol, blah blah blah blah blah. So it's quite difficult to talk about booze when you're not drinking. It's like smoking, isn't it? I'm an ex-smoker, I used to smoke 20 fags a day, but that was 23 years ago. And I hate it now, you know? Like, I don't hate alcohol, I don't like I don't I don't care whether anybody drinks, it's it's the excessive amount of alcohol that you do drink, isn't it? That's I think that's the problem with everyone, isn't it? Like you just said, your mum has one and a half glass of wine, stops the wine, and then and then she's she's alright. Um it's really hard to talk about, it's really, really hard to talk about this this thing if you're not doing it, I think, because you kind of feel like personally, I feel like people are listening going, Oh yeah, he's gonna be really negative about booze because he doesn't drink now. He's only been drinking, not drinking for 20 days, like thinks he's Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02:

It's it's a tough one, it is a really tough one, but I think it's I think it's though what you associate booze with. One of my pals messaged me and he said, No, I'm not doing it. He said, I like the culture of alcohol, I like I like the culture of wine, which there's a massive culture, it's a massive industry. And I remember I got taken out to Italy by some suppliers, and we had a seven-course meal, and we had seven different bottles of wine throughout that dinner, and each bottle of wine tasted amazing with that course. Then what they did is they kept a bit of each bottle, and we went back from the the seventh bottle to the first, and it tasted rank because it didn't work with that food. So there's quite a nice, and I get that like I enjoy nice alcohol. I won't go in the shop and buy half a litre of Kalashnikov vodka um just because I want to get pissed. Like nowadays, it's like I buy the nice booze, I buy the nice whiskey, I buy like nice things, and that's not me being a snob, that's because back in the day I remember I used to get a Fanta bottle, a five-pound bottle of vodka, drink, pour the Fanta out, have just enough. So the vodka went in it, and that was the thing.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, your mum and dad's cupboard in the in the uh garden room.

SPEAKER_02:

Taking the old thing out, but it's amazing how over the years, like I realised that not that I had a problem with booze, but I was sort of struggling to I was using it more than I should have done.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Like now it's kind of like I use booze because I want to. I use booze because I fancy having a drink with that mate. Sort of brings mates together, doesn't it? Yeah, it does, yeah. Yeah. Whether that's the right or wrong thing to say. And obviously, there's a culture now for non-alcoholic cocktails, non-alcoholic beers. It's massive. Like the industry's booming, and I think the youth aren't drinking like we used to.

SPEAKER_01:

No, they're massively not, are they? Really massively not. Um that's why the pubs, a lot of pubs are going a little bit bit quieter now, aren't they as well, weren't they? Because the older generation's always kept them going and now they're sort of fading away and not going to the pub as much. The and it but the the thing is, there is nowhere to go after the pub. That's the that's I think that's what's what's kind of killing it as well, is that there's nowhere for the young lot to go at twelve o'clock when the pub shuts. Usually years ago, you'd be able to go and go on a club at one o'clock in the morning until five in the morning, wouldn't you?

SPEAKER_02:

So don't makes me feel fucking sick.

SPEAKER_01:

I used to love it, mate. Makes me feel it.

SPEAKER_02:

Um it's um a lot of like will say, Oh yeah, I'm just gonna have a drink. Like in this Viking thing, the deal is you're not allowed to drink six out of seven days, which is fine for me, it's not a thing. Um, my wife made me laugh last week. We had a bit of a not a not a heated discussion because she does what she wants to do, like I'm not bothered. She goes, Um, I'm about to I was out going to the shop to get dinner. She's like, I'm about to uh do a delivery. I was like, what? She's like, Oh, I want a bottle of prosecco. I've had a real shit day I want a bottle of prosecco. I was like, why? I'm going to show you. Yeah, I was like, I'm going to the shop, I'll get you a couple of bottles. Like, we've always got prosecco in the house, we've always got booze in the house. And for some people it would be dangerous. But I can pick it up. I'm at a point now where I can pick it up and leave it, yeah. Which I'm really happy about. I've sort of over the last couple of years, obviously got quite friendly with Dapper Laughs, listened to Menace of Sobriety because I liked him and I liked the message, and it sort of helps you understand like even if you're not sober or you're not going sober, that podcast is wicked because he talks about like what his wife's doing to help him and support him.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And I think it's important for like listeners, if your partner has a bit of a drink problem and they're saying, Look, I can't drink anymore, but you're sitting there every night opening a bottle of wine, you're a cunt. Sorry, I've said it again.

SPEAKER_01:

I told you off to say that last week, right?

SPEAKER_02:

Um, let's do that bit again. If your partner is sitting there drinking and not supporting your decisions and sort of almost like rubbing it in your face, I think you need to try and help them a bit more. And if your mate's saying, No, I'm not, I'm not drinking for six months, like I wouldn't force you now to say, Come on, Chris, let's go for a I know you're not drinking because you don't want to drink. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Just because I want to drink and you don't, doesn't as long as we go to a pub mate that's got a decent non-alcoholic lager, I'll be there.

SPEAKER_02:

Exactly. Or just have a coke.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, no, that's that's completely the wrong thing to do when you're out, mate.

SPEAKER_02:

It's yeah, it's I mean, do we use alcohol as a reward?

SPEAKER_01:

Do we use it as an excuse? I think people use it differently, doesn't it? Everyone everyone's got their own reason for drinking, aren't they? Some people drink it because they like the taste of it, some people drink because they like the effect it gives them, some people drink because they hide their emotions when they drink, or it makes them feel clear or you know, gets rid of the the noise that goes on in their head or something, you know. Um But if you if that is you, there are things out there that you can use, there's certain methods that you can use that so you don't have to do that. You know, there is loads of stuff out there.

SPEAKER_02:

I and I think for me, for I can only talk from my personal experience.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, me too, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

If you're at work and you're thinking I can't wait to go home and have a drink tonight, sorry to say it, but You probably need a new job. You probably you probably need a new job. But there's there's other things in your life that you need to address.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Because masking it with alcohol every night is not gonna help you. Exactly. And I've seen people fall apart, like literally go from being decent business people, something happens, and they use alcohol as a coping mechanism and rely on it too much.

SPEAKER_01:

Problem is, mate, cop it, you know, the coping mechanism if it's if it is that it leads to other things like gambling and all sorts of stuff, doesn't it? So it is a very, very slippery road if you go down that road. We you you know, you've seen it on in the media, loads of people. Celebrities have started drinking, then they're in the bookies and then they're down like the casinos and they're losing everything, and then they're headline news, aren't they? That's just not celebrities, it's it happens to a lot of general public more than celebrities, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Like, and that and that's another thing that's quite interesting, actually, gambling. I've never ever once gone on online roulette or anything sober.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Never done it one never ever done it sober. Never done it sober.

SPEAKER_01:

Mine used to be mine used to be when I was sitting on the toilet.

SPEAKER_02:

But I'll have a dabble if I've had a drink. If I'm sitting on the oh let's stick 20 quid in. Like I've never got to the point where it's excessive. And like if I'm sober, went out um to the casino once, sober, because I was driving, came out with money.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Go to the casino drunk. Stick a turn on zero. Very rarely. 50 quid, mate. 50 quid, 50. Like, and it's I wouldn't do that sober because you sort of you've got to be.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, if you think about it, your thought prices can be different. Just clouds your judgment. Totally clouds your judgment, doesn't it? In everything. In absolutely everything. Cloud your judgment in everything. Business, relationships, everything.

SPEAKER_02:

Like, and this is like if you have a load of drink on a Saturday night, what are the chances of you going to the gym on a Sunday? It's probably not.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

If you have a load of drink on a Saturday night, what are the chances of you getting up and doing stuff with your kids and your family on a Sunday night?

SPEAKER_00:

Going to church on Sunday morning.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, going to church on a Sunday. It's just not going to happen, is it? Yeah. So there's a lot, like, and we're talking about accountability. Like sometimes you've got to make that difficult decision. Do you know what actually? I'm not gonna I'm not gonna drink the full bottle. I'm only gonna have half a bottle. I'm not even gonna open a bottle. I'm gonna sit here because tomorrow the weather's nice. I haven't seen my kids all week because I've been working, and I want to go out and do something with them and be fresh headed.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Like I think that's like accountability.

SPEAKER_01:

It's about setting realistic goals as well, isn't it? Like, I'm a massive honor of believer. If you well, you say this all the time, mate. To be fair, if you if you give yourself too many things to do, you're never gonna do it. I know I've said that I'm gonna do a minimum of six months, but I will do a minimum of six months, it's very easy for me. I'm a really mind strong person that once I set my mind at something, it's there, you know. Um, and I've obviously joined the gym as well. That gives me that bigger spur because if I start drinking again, the weight's gonna come back on that I might lose and blah de blah. But I'm fully aware that the World Cup is in January. Uh June, sorry. I'd be screwed if it was. Uh it's in June. So I know that nine times out of ten, I'm gonna start drinking in June. Whether or not I carry on drinking afterwards, I don't know, but that's my goal. That's right, my friends are gonna come around my house, we're gonna watch the World Cup because I always have all my mates over at my house, it's always been a thing for the last ten years that we've been in our in our house. Friends come over, we watch the football and the boxing. So I know that the boys will come over, we'll have a big barbecue, the beers will be flowing, the whiskey will come out later on at night, we'll sit in the garden and maybe have a cigar or something, I don't know, like whatever. But that's my time to target myself, that's what I'm looking forward to. Doesn't mean I'm reliant on alcohol, god, I can't wait till that time. It's actually because it's a proper thing to do. Whereas if you say, Well, I'm not gonna drink for the rest of my life, you know, this is this is you know, you look at Daffer, he's done a fucking amazing mate, what he's achieved, but that has to be done when you've got a proper issue, and that when you realise you have got that issue like he uh he did, that's why you need to target yourself for long periods of time. Whereas if you're just somebody that's just gonna try and give up drinking for a while, just give up for a little bit. And then once you get to a point, actually, from my experience in the past, the longer you go without drinking, if you're not really on it all the time, your brain just says to you, actually, I've done two months already. Why don't we see if we can do another month?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Because actually, if we do, if we just start drinking now, we might waste all the all the hard work you've done already, and then it just becomes easier the longer you go. It's like going to the gym, the more you go to the gym, the more you get used to it, the more you get the endorphins, you feel good about yourself, and you go to the gym more, don't you? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Um it's that compounding again, isn't it? It's the compound, right? I've done a day, I've done a day, fucking hell.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I've done two days. All of a sudden, you've done and if you if you've got a problem, if you're like using drugs and drink to escape life, escape reality, and you've realized and you've taken that step to say, fuck, I've got an issue here. Mate, why would you want to undo? You've done it two months.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Why would you undo that for a for a for a fucking knees up?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Do you know? I get it. I know why people do it. Like my brain, I'm like led completely by whatever everyone else is doing.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Like when I go to the Viking thing, if everyone else is jumping in the sea, chances are I'll be more keen to do it.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

If everyone else is getting battered and doing shots, oh so you're the you're the one when your mate jumps off a cliff, you jump off as well, is that you're all around, yeah, yeah. Pretty much. No, not so much that, but like it the uh the peer pressure, yeah. Like there's a with with the drinking and the culture, there's a lot of peer pressure involved, isn't there? There's a lot of oh come on, Chris, go on, mate, have one.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. I mean, last time I stopped drinking, I did like six months, and I can remember going to the pub with full intentions of just chilling out, not even having a drink at all, like, or anything. And I ended up having a non-alcoholic lager because it was like, oh, what's the point? Why are you gonna why are you giving up drinking? You're only gonna start again, so you might as well just drink, like blah blah blah. And it was just like, oh like you you lot are supposed to like be my mates in my family. Do you know what I mean? Like, and to be fair, my close mates would never do that anyway. But um, I just thought to myself, actually, like, it is it is so the dumb thing is to drink. The UK population, I think we're we're one of the heaviest drinkers in the world, aren't we? If not the biggest drinkers in the world. Um, and it is part of a culture, and actually it's quite a sad thing to say that that is a big part of our culture, because really it shouldn't be, should it? Um you should you should be able to go out and you should be able to walk into a pub if your mates are in there and just feel like nobody's gonna say, You can have a beer then or what? Like, I'm fed up with this, you're so boring now. You don't drink. I'm not boring, mate. I've just I've just changed a few life choices that are a bit different, and and actually I'm trying to better my life rather than go to the pub every Saturday, Friday night and get pissed and waste all my money on booze, I might as well spend it on a holiday or something with my family. Do you know what I mean? It's I think it's important to mention as well, this is quite a sore subject, alcohol anyway. But if you're listening, we're not we're not giving any expert advice out at all, you know. This is just me and Ash just chatting the way we normally do about booze, isn't it? If you have got issues, then make sure you're reaching out to somebody. There's so many people, so many charities out there that can help you out with alcohol issues. So many. And the bottom of the bottle is not the answer, I can promise you that. Really, really isn't.

SPEAKER_02:

It's not, it's not, and it it it is it is because it will you will you'll ruin you'll ruin relationships, you'll ruin friendships, you'll ruin your life in a fucking very negative way. And it's very difficult. I did a video the other day, part of my thing, part of my content, Chris. I did a video the other day, and and I sort of said in it, I was like, you can rebuild lots of things in life. Friendships and relationships, once they're fucking gone, they're very difficult to rebuild on. Yeah, and having mates around is more important than anything, I think. Having good people you can rely on is more important than a lot, and I've learned that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. I live by the rule of you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. So the friends that I have got are friends that I choose very, very carefully.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it's um but yeah, no, I I don't want anybody to think that we're pretty like you're you're not drinking for six months. I've openly admitted that I'm gonna go to Spain this weekend and I will probably drink more alcohol than I will walk.

SPEAKER_01:

And I'll probably get some voice note.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh I love you. You probably won't. You probably won't, um, because it won't be work time. Um, but no, and I think showing up for yourself, yeah. It's is you've got to want it for inside, haven't you? You've got to want it for yourself. Like if you realise, oh fucking hell, I should probably stop drinking, I'll save money, I won't do this, I won't row with the missus, I'll be there for the kids. There's a lot of things to look at if you've got a problem. If you haven't got a problem with alcohol, then crack on.

SPEAKER_01:

Do you know what I mean? And I don't I don't The thing is, right, you can't you can't achieve all the things you want out of life if you drink all the time. You I mean you could do if you're very, very lucky, but the reason the main reason that I've given up drink this month to start with is because I'm working every morning, every night. You know, I'm I'm up till midnight and I'm well, I'm up till about half twelve, and then I get up at half five every morning. If I was drinking, there is no way that I would have a voice left, first of all, because I'm tick-talking every night and every morning, and there is no way that I would be able to get up, not a chance. So I wouldn't be able to achieve the financial target that I'm hit I'm trying to hit this month and next month if I was drinking. So if you've got your sets, your height set for big things, you've gotta you've gotta do the right things that are gonna allow your body and your mind really to be able to push yourself to do those, you know. Like I'd I'd I'd never be able to I'd be broken, mate. I'd be sitting here falling asleep right now. 100%.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and I like if I have a like I used to it used to be a thing, like I do a lot of cooking, I like cooking, and I associate opening a bottle of wine, drink it while I'm cooking. After I finish cooking, I might not have another drink. Yeah, I won't carry on drinking. Yeah I put some tunes on and I have a glass of wine in the kitchen on my own, fucking cooking a lovely meal for the family, and that's like I don't know. I associate that with that. And when I don't do that, it doesn't feel right. It's fucking breakfast as well, is it? When you have a couple of things, yeah, breakfast, yeah. No, cereal in the morning.

SPEAKER_01:

I've got mine's barbecuing, mate. That's what I'm gonna struggle with. If I have a barbecue before the World Cup, I'm gonna really cluck. I know I will. That'll be the one time where I'm thinking, I really want a beer, because I don't know, there's just something about being a geezer, having a can of beer or a bottle of beer, it's bottles really, isn't it? You've got to have a bottle next to the barbecue, and a nice bit of meat on the go. I there's just something about it, so that is that will be one thing that I really struggle with 100%. So we will be coming to your house for barbecues this year, so I don't have to do the cooking.

SPEAKER_02:

Can you do barbecues? They never fucking invited me last year.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, didn't really like you that then, to be fair. So it's taking me a bit of time to uh to warm to you.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, you cheeky bastard. Um but no, I mean it's some people some people can drink with no issue. And I would say now I'm one of those people I can drink with no I could not drink for depends on what I'm doing, but it's the association for me. Um some people they have a real issue with it, and if that's the case and you know that, then do something about it and surround yourself with people that that's what that AA and stuff like that is really good. Um and but most people I guess like I was a couple of years ago, just sit in the messy middle, just sit in the middle, they don't really I don't have a problem, but I do enjoy a drink, but I'm drinking more than I should, but am I alright? And I think that's I think understanding the relationship with it is important.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, also mate, it's not even relationship with the booze, is it? If you if you're skint, then you know alcohol is very expensive. You know, if you're uh if you're drinking constantly, you'll you're spending a lot of money. I if you're if you're listening right now and you drink a lot and you you don't think it makes much of a difference to your life, I'd I I would challenge everybody right now to get a pen and paper, write down what you drink on a monthly basis, and write down how much it costs, and I guarantee you you'll be gobsmacked. Absolutely gobsmacked.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, there's so much more you like if I I wish all the money I spent on booze in my teeth.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh mate, I don't wish I don't wouldn't want to know, mate. I've one thing I'd like to do though, I'd like to get a swimming pool and fill it up with the amount of both. And then drink it. And just no, just see how much just see how much the swimming pool fills up. Because I know you always think, oh I reckon I could fill a swimming pool up. I reckon you'd be really shocked at the lack of amount, but actually, if you put all the bottles in a room, like bottles of wine, bottles of beer, cans of beer, like we did a big thing. I don't I think this is a big thing for lads when you're younger, when you get your first gaff. Me and my mate who used to share a flat, we used to keep all of our beer cans in the kitchen, and we had a massive Victorian flat, and half the kitchen was full up with beers, like from floor to ceiling. Everyone used to just keep their beer cans, yeah. Um so when you think of it, like if you had if you stored it all up, my god, it would be so much, wouldn't it?

SPEAKER_02:

But it would be so shocking, it would be shocking, it would be absolutely and that's quite an in like if you look back, like when we we did um we did Le Mans 24 hours, me and a few mates took a trailer tent over there. I don't know how old we were. I would say we're probably early 20s, and we took a plank of wood with us and some silicon and a silicon gun, and we built a beer pyramid. Every time you have a beer, the bottle goes on the thing, and the goal was to get this pyramid as big as it possibly could. And we had people coming past taking photos of us with this thing, yeah. Like, I think it was about eight foot tall, this fucking pyramid of beer bottles, like, but that was cool, yeah. Like we thought that was cool, and do you know what I mean? You look back at the photos now. I'll try and dig it out and I'll put it over like on this. Um, and there's so many things that you've done over the years as a kid going in the woods having a beer, like, and I'm not I don't know the right words. This is really difficult because I don't want anybody to listen to this and think like we're either side of the fence, we're praising alcohol, we're telling you not to do it, and it's tough. But going in the woods as as mates, like we were out in the fresh air, kids now are sitting in their rooms doing like not having that. Do you know what I mean? They've not got that real life connection, and yeah, I think it's got his good and it's got his bad. I think that's what the the overall outcome of this is, and if it's doing more bad for you than it is good, then it's time to address it. Yeah, I think.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I'll make you right, mate, to be fair. It's it is a really difficult subject, but I think, like you say, with it being January, with quite a few people stopping drinking in January, it was a perfect opportunity to do this episode, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and I'm trying to be myself, yeah. Like I'm trying to be myself and say exactly how I feel about it, and not sugarcoat it, not be this side, not be that side, just sit in the middle and be like, this is my experience with alcohol. My experience with alcohol, I used to love it, I've got a lot of good memories from it. It's helped me in some dark times, it's also cursed me in some dark times, and now I'm at peace with it, I can take it or leave it. Yeah, I think that's sort of where I'm at. But it took me understanding that relationship, listening to podcasts, listening to alcoholics talk about it to find out where I'm at with it. And now, like, I wouldn't but there was a time where I would be like, Come on, Chris, why are you not having a beer? Yeah, oh yeah, but you can have free and drive, you can have like whatever. Yeah, there was a time now. I'm just like, Are you not having a beer? What do you want then, mate?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, like sad thing is like you know what I used to be a member of a golf club, I'm not there anymore, but I won't say the name of it. But um, you know, I don't this happens across the country. People people will have three or four pints and they get in their car and drive home. That's not just at golf clubs, no, you know, it's it's in loads of places, and actually when you think about it, the amount of people that are on the roads that are probably over the limit because of their social side of things, yeah, it it does have more negative effects than than positive alcohol, I do believe, you know. Like when you look at it like that, so it's it's I'd put I'd I certainly would I bet I'd be you know I've I've had a drink and I uh you know I'm not gonna I'm not gonna beat around the bush before I've had a drink and I might have been slightly over the limit before myself, you know, um many many years ago. But you just you just have to be so careful because it's not just you that you're having issues with, is it? If something happens, it could be potentially somebody else's life that you reck you reckon at the same time, you know. Yeah, yeah, no, but you know it's it's true, innit?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, but you could imagine, imagine getting pissed, getting behind the wheel of a car and killing someone. Jesus Christ, I couldn't live with that. I really couldn't live with that. Um this is something I really want to mention this um because this might hit home to a few people. Now I'm not gonna say his name, but this guy, he used to work for me, um and he would be more than happy with me saying this. He was a troubled soul, he would go out on a Friday, stock up on whatever he was indulging in for the weekend, he'd have the whole weekend on a bender. Um, and I used to say stuff to him, but he messaged us on the podcast. He said, I love the stuff you've been doing, mate. You're smashing life. I'm almost two months clean completely, and I have a completely different outlook on life. I'm getting my boxing coaching course done so I can help kids and others learn how to box and gain some self-confidence. I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD and PTSD, so that's been a journey in itself. Be nice to catch up soon and share stories. Much love. But well done, mate. Well done. This and some of the other messages, like some of the stuff he's doing, he's been sober for two months, like sober over Christmas must be for someone like that. It must be really hard. But like that's my prime example of he's turning his life around. He's now doors are opening, opportunities are opening. Because on a Saturday morning, now he's in the boxing gym instead of lying in bed. Yeah, there is a lot of positive. I think if you can switch your brain off from feeling I've got oh no, it's Saturday, I've got to have a drink. Oh, it's Friday, I've worked hard today. Like we reward ourselves for it. Oh god, I've worked so hard this week, I deserve a drink. Oh, I've had a bad day, I'll have a drink. Oh, I'm celebrating, I'll have a drink. Oh, it's my birthday, I'll have a drink. I think if we can turn that around, one of the best stagdoos I've ever been on, we didn't drink much. It was a we went to Milton Keynes, the Friday night was at a comedy club, we had a lovely dinner, then at a comedy club. We're in this comedy club, you can't really drink much because getting up and stuff.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Then on the Saturday, I can't remember what we did on the Saturday. On the Saturday, we had something planned during the day. Oh, go-karting. That was it. We had go, so we went for breakfast, then we had go-karting, and then the Saturday night we went and saw DAPA up the road. Um, so we didn't drink there.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And then on the Sunday morning, we all woke up fresh. We had so much money left being the kitty, we were trying to spend it before we left.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So we went into Milton Keynes. It's a fantastic place, so much to do. We did crazy golf, we did the darts, we then did a VR thing, and we still had all this money left, and then we ended up giving the drivers money and filling the tanks up.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

But that was the best stagdo I've ever been on. I remember it. I wasn't hung over and I didn't feel like shit. And we all had a wicked time and had a laugh. Yeah, we had a couple of beers, but it wasn't like a. I remember on the Friday night, we was like, Come on, let's go in the club. You'd had a couple, you know, yeah, yeah. Let's go in the club, let's go in the club. And one of my mates is like a granddad now. He's like, No, no, no, I'm not doing that. I'm not, and we ended up just going home, getting some and you all thanked him the next day. And we all thanked him the next day because it's that like, well, come on, let's go, let's go, let's go. And that was one of the best stag dudes I've ever been on. My stagdoo was horrific. Seven days in Fangarola, literally, just I was dead by the end of it.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, one of the last stagdoos I went on. I come home and had a stroke, mate. From alcohol or see, I didn't drink that weekend, no, no, but yeah, it was just booze. I don't I don't uh frequent that other activity you might be suggesting.

SPEAKER_02:

So, how do you feel about 20 days of not drinking? Like, have you noticed You didn't drink much though, did you?

SPEAKER_01:

No, I I did drink quite a bit. I drank at home quite a bit for the last sort of 12 months. I used to drink quite a bit. Um I have drunk quite a bit for the last 12 months. Um I was saying to your brother earlier on, he was he was asking me how I'm feeling in my felony, but uh in in all honesty, I'm too tired to to realise whether I am or not. Um but I certainly would feel much worse. I said it a minute ago, didn't I? Like if I was drinking right now, I would not have been able to do the last 22 days straight lives in the mornings and evenings. Definitely, definitely not. It would have killed my voice, it would have killed my just mentality, it would have made me feel really down, just lethargic all the time. Um yeah, I I probably am to be fair. I do I do feel quite alert, which is for the amount of sleep I'm getting at the moment, is probably quite odd. So I would imagine, yeah, I am I am seeing the benefits, feeling the benefits already. But then, you know, I'm I'm I went to the gym for my induction yesterday, and I'm gonna be pushing myself, go to the gym for the next few months um and to better my to better my physique and my and my fitness levels for my little boy. So, you know, it will all it will all take. Into account with my body when it and it'll make me feel better eventually. So it's kind of why I'm doing it. But it's the clarity for work-wise. The main reason I'm doing it is the drinking.

SPEAKER_02:

For me, it's the self-confidence. Like my anxiety levels after drinking, like anxiety, just terrible. Like I doubt every single thing in my life. And I'll lie there tossing and turning. And I know a lot of people get this. You have a heavy session, and you're just lying in bed at night, and your brain is going fight or flight mode, and you can't get to sleep because you're like, oh my god, that's gonna happen. What if that happens? What if this happens? That's the thing that really and it clouds my judgment. So I made some very difficult decisions the last sort of five or six days, and on Sunday I was like, I'm gonna open a glass, I'm gonna open a bottle of wine. I was like, nah, actually, I'm not. And the end I opened it, I had one glass, and I decided that do you know what I'm not gonna finish this today because tomorrow I've got to go and make decisions and this will fuck me. Yeah, I really will. Which for me, that's a that's a big thing. Because normally I open it, you get a taste for it, and I've taken yeah, I've taken control of it. Um and yeah, it's showing up sober and not hung over is uh it's not just for yourself either though, it's for people around you as well.

SPEAKER_01:

That's the difference, innit?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Um so I think we can wrap that up. Yeah, man. Really? It's been a difficult one, that.

SPEAKER_01:

Hopefully we haven't upset anybody.

SPEAKER_02:

Hopefully we haven't upset anybody. Hopefully, people can take something from it. Hopefully, someone actually, yeah. Do you know what? I'm not fucking listen to them. Um we're two different sides of the fence. Yeah. And that's that's a good thing, I think. Cool. So yeah, that's been serious. Try to wrap that one up really excited, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01:

Because it's quite a serious subject, it is quite serious. I feel like I need to go, right, eh, but it's right, I'm a beer. Doesn't warrant that, does it? Yeah, I'm off down the pub, catch all later on.

SPEAKER_02:

No, I think if you're drinking to excess, then just sit back and have a quiet word with yourself. Just I'm not telling anybody what to do with drink, is your life? Do what you want. I know when I don't drink for a period, I feel better. I know when I drink for a period, I feel worse, and it takes a long time to get over it.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, that 30 years old mark, on it, it starts kicking in and then you get to 40, mate. You're not there yet. You just wait. You just wait.

SPEAKER_02:

Couple of years, mate. Couple of years. Um, if you've enjoyed that, then thanks. If you're still here, then thanks. Please like, subscribe, share it to anybody. Follow us on socials, and also join the Facebook community. We've built a Facebook community. Me and Chris are going to be posting it more often. We've got a few people posting it now, getting the confidence. Um, hold each other accountable. 2026 is about helping people.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

It's about showing up for yourself and showing up for your friends and family. So 100%, mate. Join the community, go out for a walk. Go out to the pub. No, uh, don't go.

SPEAKER_01:

Don't go to the pub. Yeah, yeah. Don't go to the pub, do go to the pub. Don't go to the pub, do go to the pub. Basically, do what you like, but do it in moderation.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that's it. Look after yourselves and stay healthy.