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The Untold Podcast
UNTOLD Podcast is where business, family, and life collide—raw, unfiltered, and brutally honest. No fluff, no fake success stories—just real conversations about the highs, the struggles, and everything in between.
The Untold Podcast
The ‘Ashley’ Episode: Work, Kids, Money Pressure & Staying Sane
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Last week we put Chris in the hot seat… so this week we turn the mic on Ashley.
We talk about the real behind-the-scenes of building a business and trying to be present at home at the same time — the pressure, the mental load, and the constant fight to stay focused when you’ve got 100 ideas and not enough hours.
Ashley opens up about Aura Surfaces, why he’s relaunching “Building the Dream”, and what he’s learning about priorities, boundaries, and buying back time.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re working flat out but still not moving forward… this one’s for you.
If you enjoyed it: share it with someone who’ll relate, and drop us a message — it genuinely keeps us going.
A Cleaner Start And A New Focus
SPEAKER_01Good morning and welcome to today's episode of the Untold Podcast. My name is Ashley.
SPEAKER_02My name is Chris.
SPEAKER_01Oh shit, no, it's not. I wish I was Chris. I wish I was Chris. Well, first of all, I just got an apology to mate. I listened to our last week's podcast this morning on the way in, and it's quite rude. Maybe it'd been a bit rude for some people. So if we've offended anybody, I'd like to apologize for that. Because actually, a bollock hanging outside of a pair of knickers is not a good look.
SPEAKER_02No, no. And someone commented on the spicy language, so that's something that Yeah, we're gonna try and rein that one in. We're gonna really try and rein that in.
Why “Ashley” And The Second Podcast
SPEAKER_01Really try and rein that in. Right, obviously, last week's episode, if you have listened to it, then you'll know what it was about. If you haven't, make sure you listen to it first. But it was about me. So I thought, actually, why not turn up and put Ashley on the spot and do an episode called Ashley? It's a good one. So today's episode of the Untold Podcast is called Ashley. Ashley, welcome to the podcast. Thank you very much for having me, Chris. I really appreciate your time today, mate. It's nice of you to take time out of your busy schedule. Busy? Busy. Busy. Is it not busy? Well, that's not the point I'm doing this, because as far as I'm concerned, you're very busy.
SPEAKER_02No, it is very busy. Life is very busy.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, well, it's important to start. I just want to start like from I'm I'm doing this because I noticed that you've got another podcast going. Yeah. That I had no idea about. Here we go, here we go. I'm calling you out live on a podcast. Calling me live out on the podcast. No, I I I listened to a very small amount of it yesterday, just in the clip that you shared on on uh Instagram, I think it was, and it actually sounds quite interesting. So I want you to tell everybody that's listening to our podcast about your podcast.
Building The Dream: Purpose And Guests
SPEAKER_02So obviously, I always wanted to do a podcast. I love doing the podcast, but what we do here, this is like a passion project for me. This one is just it's like I said to someone on the phone yesterday, it's like a therapy session. Yes, everybody. That's exactly how I talk about it as well. Whereas the podcast for the business is called Building the Dream, and again, in life, it's all about educating people. You don't know what you don't know. So, Building the Dream is me sitting down with experts in their field within the construction, architectural, design spaces, and talking them through it, or asking them questions so I can gain knowledge from them. So, we've got an episode about water and saving water and why it's so important. There's a lot of things like that one. Oh, yeah, yeah, that was a fantastic episode. I learned so much about it. I want to get him back in because when we did it, the mics weren't set up properly, the audio's very up and down. So I want to get um Steve back in and do that again. Um, I have one with a couple of fantastic architects and designers from down in Wervin. And on the 25th of February, I'm going to Long Lane to speak to Louis Blake. Now, if you haven't seen Long Lane, check it out on Instagram. Join Long Lane. If you don't know Louis, check out Louis, L-O-U-I. Blake. Um, phenomenal, really, really good. It's like it's in Midhurst, it's an old manor, and they've managed to raise some serious investment and it's like a state-of-the-art wellness retreat.
SPEAKER_01Oh, do you know what I've seen that advertised actually? Yeah, I have seen it advertised, but the only videos that I saw was when he just took it over. So have they done it now? Have they done all the work there?
SPEAKER_02No, not yet, not yet. They're still doing it. So we're gonna do the podcast in the middle of a building site.
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_02Um, and put some aesthetics over it. So Building the Dream is the business podcast.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's a little weekend away there or something on the on the slide.
SPEAKER_02But that project is phenomenal. If you haven't looked at it and you're interested, join Long Lane on Instagram. Um, there's a lot of people within the industry who are watching this with eyes. Most people I speak to know about this. Most people that are sort of high up. So, yeah, building the dream is just another thing, another string to my bar, another thing I have to do and manage.
SPEAKER_01So, how many strings have you actually got? Because as far as I'm concerned, you've you've got two guitars upstairs, and I think there's probably less strings on those guitars than you've got going on at the minute, to be fair.
Juggling Strings And Relationship Capital
SPEAKER_02The thing is, Chris, I've always said this to you throw enough at the wall and something's gonna stick. Yeah. Now, I would love nothing more than to become a key person of influence within my industry. Now we don't talk about this much, and that's why when you messaged me yesterday and said, Ash, we're gonna talk about you. That's nice. I don't think I'll have a quicker response. Yes, please. Um I've been in my industry for a very long time. Like, I've been surrounded by it since I was about six years old, and I've seen it evolve to the way it is now. And by doing this podcast is something that I'm hoping one's gonna open doors for me, um, and two, I'll learn from it. I'm terrible at reading books, I can't listen to audiobooks. I gain my knowledge from conversations, yeah. Um, and that's why I want to do that. So, what do I do? I'm a father to three children, I'm a husband to three wife, I mean one wife. Um that's a long joke. Um I'm a business owner, I am a co-host on one podcast, and I've just launched another podcast. What's that podcast called? What the untold podcast? Is that oh, is that what it is? The one we're on now. One you invited being on. Okay, yeah, cool, yeah, sorry. To talk about. So, yeah, so there's a lot going on. There's a hell of a lot going on.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But I like to keep busy. I do like to keep busy. I think it's important to keep busy. My problem is I'm a builder and not a finisher. Same with my kitchen at home. So my kitchen at home is 90% complete. Most of the projects that I start get to 90%, and I never finish them for whatever.
SPEAKER_01One thing you always finish is you're a good builder of relationships, aren't you? Yeah. That's probably one of the most important things, to be fair, mate.
SPEAKER_02That's the plan, mate. That's the plan is to open doors for not just me, but for other people. Because I strongly feel that in a world of AI, business is about people. I've always said this, always, and I will stick to this. People do business with people, and now in a world of AI, the trust recession, everything, no one knows. So building relationships and collaborating with other companies and people is so important, so important, and that's where the podcast comes in.
SPEAKER_01So when it comes to your family, like I've this is one of the most important things for me is how with everything you're doing, how do you manage to find time for your family? Because there's not enough hours. We've just sat here and said there's not enough hours in the days of what we're doing at the moment, and you're just adding things after one after the after the other.
SPEAKER_02I very rarely now when I was in retail, I used to work seven till five, Monday to Friday, um, and then have to work Saturdays as well. Since I started all surfaces, I work a Saturday if someone wants to book an appointment. I'll work a Sunday if someone wants to book an appointment. But because I'm no longer in the retail space, the business is by appointment only. So I managed to find time. I think the biggest thing is structuring your days and working on. So every morning I'll sort of write a list. Well, I say every morning, that's something that I'm working on. Every morning I'll write a list, right? There's three things you've got to do today. There's three things that you should probably do today, and there's three things that if you get time, do it today. And then you tackle the three things. Normally it's money. You tackle the first three things that could generate money, so they come first. Yeah, then it might be content, and then it might be finding new suppliers, having conversations, replying to things. So I now have the beauty of I pick my kids up from school. Um, I don't work a Saturday, I can sit in the office till nine o'clock at night.
SPEAKER_01I was gonna say I made voice notes at like eight o'clock at night, and you're still in the office editing a podcast or doing something else. So you're now gonna have to edit another podcast.
SPEAKER_02That's it. No, the other podcast, because it's directly related to the business. No, you do that in I will pay, I will Vanessa will Vanessa will come and do that for me. Um, I will pay her to come and do that because she's phenomenal at what she does, and then it like obviously now when we do this podcast, I'm like, right, is that camera done? That camera done, and like whereas before when Vanessa was here, she was checking everything I do this, do that, sit down, sit down, shut up. I'm ready, right? Go on then, boys, see you later. So, no, it's like I've learned since losing my old man, I have learned that you have to prioritize things, and your family is one of them. And as sad as it may sound, my old man passing away has made me realise that even more than ever.
SPEAKER_01Been a negative but a positive at the same time.
SPEAKER_02And you think about it a lot, like losing someone, what does that do to your life? And it actually reshapes you. It caused me. Obviously, you know, I say this on the podcast business is tough, it has been a real struggle the last two years starting something in the worst possible time. Yeah, my business is governed by people having money to remodel their house, and people don't have that money, so it's been a really tough time to start. Now, obviously, I had two girls in doing full-time marketing, absolutely fantastic people, lovely to be around, but I had to make the difficult decision for the business to say, look, I'm really sorry, but it's no longer financially viable to keep the role open, which was so hard.
SPEAKER_01You know me. Yeah, because you built like I said, I just said it a minute ago, didn't I? You're very good at building relationships, so you build relationships with everybody that you meet. So you obviously had a really tight relationship with those two. So it must have been really hard.
Grief, Hard Calls And Refocusing Vision
SPEAKER_02It was it was really, really it was one of the toughest things I've ever done in business. Yeah, but it allowed me to. I think it's important to sit back and strip everything back and say, okay, why did I start this? What do you want to achieve from starting this business? Or you can just go and get a job for someone else and earn decent salary because you know what you're doing, and I don't want to do that. As easy as that would be, I decided to do this business and then start the podcast, and then start another podcast, and then the probably the 15 other things that I have my fingers in that are working, AI, things like that, which will come soon, and we'll do an episode about that. But yeah, it's uh I think it's important to find time for people. There are a lot of people who say, nah, if you're an entrepreneur, you've got to work from five in the morning till 10 o'clock at night, you've got to work weekends, while everybody else is out with their family enjoying it. You if you're a real entrepreneur, you'll work weekends, bollocks, mate. Yeah, that is not for me. It's not it's not good for your health anyway, is it? It's not good. If you're single and you've got no kids, crack on, mate. If that's what But when you're when you're in my position with kids and stuff, you're every single day they're getting older. Every single day. Someone I saw something the other day, by the time your child is 12, you will have already spent 72% of the time with them you're gonna spend in your life. That's mad, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01That's I'm not I'm not gonna lie, but being on TikTok all the time, like some videos that I see that say, like, when you see a video and it's like, oh come here and let me pick you up a minute, and they're saying it to their like 13-year-old daughter or something, and they're like, Why let me just pick you up and then I explain, like, this is probably the last time I'm ever gonna pick you up. Those sort of videos break me, man. Like, I just I look at my little boy and I think, oh mate, you don't realise actually so many things, and you go back and you play it all in your head. Oh my god, he's not drinking out of that cup anymore. Oh my god, he's not doing that anymore. And then he just oh yeah, I can't I can't watch him, mate. It destroys me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it I it's crazy. My um 12-year-old daughter, she's 11 or 12, I think she's 12. I don't know, that's terrible that um, make it up quick. Yeah, edit, edit, edit. No, she um my wife said to me all day, she's like she said, Mum, I've got I really need to talk to you, but you're gonna be so angry. There's a boy that I like, she hasn't told me this yet. Now that's me and my whole as a dad, I'm like, no, you're never having a boyfriend. They're all they're all no good for you. You're never having a boyfriend. And my my wife said to her, Well, do you like him? She was like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do, I really like him. And that like, I'm like, nah, you're too old, you're too young for that. Don't I don't want to do that yet. But it's like spending time with them and doing things with them. Um, I'm terrible for having the business, and constantly my brain is on the business, and it's a lot better now than it used to be. But as an entrepreneur, as a business owner, I'm sure people will relate to this. You're waking up at five in the morning thinking, Oh, did I do that? Did I do that? Is there enough money in the bank to pay this? Have I got and that's like it consumes you, yeah, literally consumes you. Whereas when you're in a job, you normally, nine times out of ten, you leave the office. When you leave the office, that's it. You don't have to answer emails. When you're a business owner, when you're on holiday, you're working, when you're sleeping, you're working, when you're at a funeral, you're working, when you're at a wedding, you're working, you're constantly if something needs doing, you do it. And that's something that I'm really trying to work on to sort of delegate and focus on what's really important, not be a busy idiot. Yeah, it's easy to become oh, I've got to do this, I've got to do that, oh, I've got to do that. Yeah, oh, we must, but you don't actually need to do that. And I think the other thing now, my phone, when I get into my home, like obviously the phones are now clever, they know when you're home because they're watching every single moment, goes into personal mode. I don't get notifications on that unless it's like people in my favourites, no notifications will come up. And I think that's another important thing. That email probably doesn't need to be replied to in the next 15 minutes. That email can probably wait. So you can go and pick your kids up, you can spend time with your kids after school, take them for a hot chocolate, do what you do, and then the email can be replied to later or the next morning. Yeah, and I think that's something that I've learnt. Yeah, things don't need doing.
Boundaries, Notifications And Quality Time
SPEAKER_01I swear I need to I need to get to that point because at the minute, like I was working all day yesterday, came home, said to crews, I'm all yours now. Five minutes later, my phone's going off, and I'm reading messages and replying to messages and sorting out an issue, and and then you look at him and he's like, I thought you were all mine, daddy. Like, I thought you you just told me I could play cards with you for like the next hour and now you're on your phone and it's so destroying, but it's just so hard to get that mentality of if I don't reply, something's gonna happen. Do you know what I mean? Or if something won't happen, then I'm missing out on something, or I'm not gonna get that, or I'm not gonna get that sorted out, and actually you're right, it's it's not it's not just gonna crumble over a one text message or one email, is it? Do you know what I mean? Nobody knows what you're doing if they can't see you today.
SPEAKER_02No, and that's the thing, isn't it? And people appreciate that. People that are the people that need replying to instantly, they're probably not worth your time. So what the last few months obviously my life has been very up and down. Losing my old man, being in Spain for a month, the business got no work done on it, um removing some of the overheads in the business to ensure that it carries on going. And it's been tough, it's been really tough, but now I feel a little bit of clarity. Feel a little bit of clarity because I literally spent a day, no phone, no nothing, going through the vision statement I wrote over two years ago for the business, and realised that what I'd done is I'd gone off on a tangent and gone off to here and gone off to there, and it was time to pull it back in line with why I did it. The thing is in businesses you can constantly chase, you can be chasing sales because you need money in the bank, and you're giving your time to those people who are not your right client. Yeah, you're giving time to those people because you need to fill a hole, you need to fill a bank, you need to make 400 quid, 200 quid, 100 pounds. And then what happens is you become a busy fool focusing on those, and then the people that actually you should be giving your time to, dedicate building relationships with, they're getting put to one side because you're I've got to do that for that. They they're box tile short, they're this short, I've got I've got to get them that, and then you're like, Whoa, like I've just lost a 50 grand order. I've just lost a 50 grand order because I couldn't dedicate enough time.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, while you're while you're making little acquaintances, they're making big relationships with other people, aren't they?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so I I don't I I built this business because I want to build relationships with people that appreciate that my knowledge, that have their own knowledge in their industry and we can help each other. When it comes to doing the stuff that I do, spa renovations, building your dream home, you need someone in your corner that knows what they're talking about.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And I'm not afraid to turn down a sale because I don't think it's right for the client. And I think that's really important. There's not a lot of people that do it. Had a lady in last week, she said, Oh, yeah, we need this, we're doing this, and I said, No, you don't, that's not right. Go here and speak to this guy, and he will do it for you. And then you get a phone call from the guy you recommend him to. Thanks very much, mate. That was amazing. Like, appreciate it. And then he remembers me. And this is this whole yeah, people aren't gonna give me tens of thousands of pounds of their money if they don't trust me and I don't know what I'm talking about. That's in any business as well, isn't it? Really? It's people, it's like there are a lot of businesses that it's not, you know what I mean? It doesn't matter, but where I'm sitting in the sort of ultra high net worth, high net worth individual sort of market, they need to know they can trust you. They want the door locked when they walk in, they want to book an appointment, they want to use your time wisely because their time is valuable, and that's something that I've really got, and I've disappeared from that. I've moved away from why I set up the business because I'm constantly chasing that because things are tough.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So what angle, why did you why did you actually originally go from being a shop front to tucked away in the middle of nowhere down some dirty old Because I didn't like it in the middle of a farm?
Choosing Clients And Protecting Value
SPEAKER_02Because I didn't like it anymore. I didn't like where I was. I was fed up with having the same conversations, yeah. But I can get something similar on the internet for cheaper. Okay, go to the internet then. If if you're if if money is obviously everybody's got a budget, everybody's got okay, we've we've estimated this, this is our budget. But if that's the first point of call, then you're better off shopping in the sheds, you're better off going to the competitors, yeah. And for me, job satisfaction is everything. I'd rather wake up every morning and enjoy what I do than wake up every morning and hate what I do, but have a bank full of money.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Because it's no fun. You've got to work for a hell of a lot of your life, and they're about to put it up, aren't they? You work for 60, 70, 80% of your life. Nine times eight out of ten people probably do.
SPEAKER_01Is it going up again? Is it depends on what's going on? Yeah, I think so. I'll keep seeing things.
SPEAKER_02I've got to enjoy what I do, I've got to enjoy the conversations I have on a daily basis because for me, conversations are everything. Yeah, I've had an opportunity come through via LinkedIn to get involved with a state-of-the-art incredible project, and I'll go out to Budapest and I'll have a look at it.
SPEAKER_01Do you need someone to carry your handbag?
SPEAKER_02I need a videographer. Yeah, I'm there, babe. I'm there, babe. I'm going to Budapest. Um, like, and the other things I want to do with a business is because of this, because people are people and people doing, I want to create a like a monthly vlog of behind the scenes of what I do on a daily basis. The the wind, the trials, the tribulations, the ups and the downs. Because I feel that's really important. In a world where we live at the moment through social media, not many people will post, it's been a real tough day. This, I've got this happened, and they'll post all successes. Yeah, the wins are easy to post about, aren't they? The winds are easy to post about. There's not there's not enough people saying what like LinkedIn. LinkedIn is toxic as hell, LinkedIn is terrible. It's literally, I've done this, I've done this, I'm amazing, I'm incredible. And then you get these posts of people saying, Well, actually, being an entrepreneur and being a business owner, yeah, it's good because you work for yourself, but you are you in control of everything, everything that goes right is down to you. Everything that goes wrong is down to you.
SPEAKER_01And the worst thing is, if you're in control of a business that's got loads of employees, you're in control of their lives as well, aren't you? Really? If you go, if you if you do everything wrong and they lose all their jobs, you're not only putting yourself out of work, but you're putting loads of other families to to the to the mill as well, aren't you?
SPEAKER_02And that's it, and some people don't care. And there's some businesses where you'll get a job and you're a payroll number. I will never be that business owner. I want my staff to thrive with me. If the company does well, the staff do well.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And that's something that I will that's like what Richard Branson's mentality was. If the companies are doing well, the staff are doing well, everybody's happy, they're looked after, they get their holidays for taxes and stuff.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
Leaving Retail For A Boutique Model
SPEAKER_02Um, and that's why he's done well. Because people enjoy working for Virgin, because it's not a whereas you'll go through payroll, and in my industry, it's so hard training people up. The industry's evolved so quickly, so rapidly, that it takes a good six months to train someone that already knows a little bit. I reckon it would take a year to train someone properly. And I'm learning every day. Yeah, there's things that I don't know.
SPEAKER_01You train them for a year and then they've got to be trained again.
Networking Wins And Redefining Success
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's just it's a constant thing, it's every day because evolution is it's probably the same with what you're doing. The algorithms change, this changes, that changes everything. And yeah, I it's the business isn't easy, it's not easy, but it's fun. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, it's it's horrendous. It's like the worst come down in the world. Now I was never a heavy um uh what do you call it? Anyway, I was never heavy into anything like that, but it's like the love the fact that you're trying to steer away from any rude conversation and it's swearing. We've done really well so far as well, we have. But no, business is business is business, and business is tough. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, it's like the come downs from it are savage. And you will have sleepless nights. My old man said to me, he said, Are you sure you want this business? I was like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, you sure. He said, Are you sure you want this business? He said it about six times over five or six weeks. Are you sure? He sat me down and said, 'Are you sure? Be prepared for the sleepless nights, be prepared for the VAT bill, be prepared for this, for that.' And I was like, Yeah, yeah, it's fine. Yeah, I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it, I'm ready for that. Jesus Christ, I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't ready for that. And it's like we talked spoke last week about the apostas syndrome. That's a daily thing. Yeah. I said, Dave, I've had an email this morning for an opportunity that is incredible. Never ever ever done it before in my life. Never been involved in this side of the industry before. And I'm thinking to myself, how can I do this? Because the opportunity isn't just this, it's the next project. And it's building relationships with serious people within the industry. Yeah. And I don't, no matter what industry you're in, building these relationships and networking.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I mean, talking about networking, I was gonna bring this one in, actually. I'm gonna say it's not all hard playing, hard, hard work land graft, is it? It's uh where was you the other night? Drinking what and smelling.
SPEAKER_02I went to the Connort, Chris. I went to the Connort in London and was massively out of my comfort zone in a in a cigar lounge in the Connort. And uh Did you cough? No, did you go green? No, no, no. I'm a seasoned. Oh, yeah, you're seasoned. I'd be green as you like, mate. I think. No, and it was good. It was good. I had some really nice conversations with people, but what it also made me realize is I'm better than I think. Yeah. I'm more switched on than I think. Um I said to one of the guys, he was talking about his sort of men's coaching, he does men's coaching, and I sort of said to him, I said, Yeah, but I don't want to work, I don't want money to be the reason why I get up and go to work every day. Money is great, we all need money. I'm not gonna shy away from that, but I want to get up and enjoy what I do, I want to create amazing spaces. I can't wait to be to see one of my projects win awards, yeah. Projects that I've been involved in, because that's like a sense of achievement. The money at the end of it, money comes and money goes, but saying that I did the spa in that luxury five-star hotel, that's like that's like bragging rights. Of course it is, yeah. I think people talk at the moment, oh, I'm a hundred grand a month. Okay, well, how much of that do you actually get to keep?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, my GMV, like you'll get my GMV is a million pounds this year, and I got two per cent. You're not turning over, and that's the thing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So money isn't money isn't the reason I get out of bed every day. Money helps along the journey, it helps you grow faster, it helps you get a few more than faster.
SPEAKER_01Mine tends to be my for my four-year-old.
Buying Back Time And Rethinking School
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and and that's it as well. Like my driving force is to my driving force at the moment is to be able to buy back time, to have enough money to buy time, money buys time, to buy enough time to pick my kids up from school, to not have to be in the office, to go and see my mum in Spain, and to just enjoy time with a family. Like I am so close to pulling my kids out of mainstream education, so close to it, just because I it I don't like it. I really don't like it. I think they'd be much better, they've still got to be educated, but they'd be much better doing clubs, doing social events, learning private tuition. Um, like my my stepson, he's just got a full-time job. He's like, Oh dad, I need to do CIS and national insurance and stuff. What do you mean I lose a day's money every week because I have to give it to the government? What? So you're telling me I have to work every he's never been taught that instead. Terrible, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01One of the things that I cannot understand is they don't spend a long time. They need like a whole term on learning about work and what you do when you leave school. Yeah, it's all very well they push you into a career, but they don't tell you what happens when you get that career. Yeah, it's pathetic.
SPEAKER_02And I'm that close to that, and that would be good for me spending more time with them. I love business, I love like my brain, you know how my brain works, constantly ticking, constantly like right, okay. What can I do next? And this is the thing, I'll build things and I'll start things, but I'll never finish them. Now I need a finisher, I need someone to help me. Like I said about the app the other day on the podcast about I'd love to do that. I've already I'm already on it, mate. I've stolen it already. But I'll start that and I'll never finish it. Yeah, um, and I have these ideas all the time, but what I'm really focusing on now is aura surfaces. That's why I've relaunched the Building the Dream podcast because that ties that is linked directly to what I do every day in my day job. Shiny object syndrome is just everyone has it, everyone gets it.
SPEAKER_01It's just about curbing that feeling and thinking, actually, it is that syndrome, isn't it? I used to get it all the time. I don't really have it anymore, to be fair. It doesn't really bother me. I don't I don't strive for more money now. I just I'm happy with what I've got. I just want to give a little bit back now and again, you know.
SPEAKER_02That's it, and that that's I think that that's I wanna my knowledge of every day for the last however got my voice right now, every day for as long as I remember has been within this industry, and being able to give that knowledge back in bits to people that need it. That's that's what I want to do, and that's why I feel that the Build in the Dream podcast is something that I want to do because I learn from it, that's the self, selfless, selfish part of me. I want to learn from it. I want to have these conversations with people and open doors and that. And they get to tell their story, and other people can like for example, if you were about to if you were about to buy a plot of land and build your house, how do you finance that? What's the best way to finance it? Well, if I have an episode with a finance expert that can talk about five different ways to finance that, yeah, then that's a platform for someone to come and listen to. Of course it is. So going on Google, you type in this, one website will tell you this because that's their product, one will tell you this because that's their product, ChatGPT will tell you a mixture of all five things and get it wrong. Every time, and that's the idea. That's the idea behind the podcast, and that's something that I really want to get going and get off the ground. But again, that's another shiny object thing, but that's a shiny object thing that will benefit me.
Shiny Object Syndrome Vs Core Mission
SPEAKER_01So I've got one more question I've got is well not one more, I've got a few more to be fair, but one question I have got is for me, you know, when you work really hard for everything you're working hard for, you're not frightened that if you work so hard, you might not get to the point where you get that time with your family because it might be too late, they might be too old, you might have lost that opportunity. Because where I quit my job in April and I've spent the last eight months with crews every day. It doesn't matter whether my whole business world crumbles around me now. I will know forever that I had eight months with my son at between three and four years old, and it was phenomenal. Most people don't get that with their kids at all. Yeah. So my fear now is what I'm doing going forward is taking a lot of my time away. I'm in the office every day now, and I'm not at home with him, and I'm not there, and I'm going home at night time, and he's grumpy as anything because he's had a busy day with his mum and had loads of fun, and then I get the horrible, horrible little boy because he's too tired. Are you not worried that you're gonna just have so much going on that you're gonna lose all of that?
Sacrifice, Structure And Smarter Work
SPEAKER_02No, I think that my kids love coming into work, they love coming into the office, they love sort of they love what I do. They ask to come here, and I used to be a hell of a lot worse. This is the thing. I used to be I used to be worse. I'm actually working harder but trying to work smarter, working harder, working smarter, freelancing things out, not trying to do everything. I've learnt over the last few years that sometimes you've got to delegate things. Um finding the right people to delegate that to isn't important, but that's another question. But there's got to be compromise. There is got to if you want a better life for as the man of the house, and I say that loosely, there's got to be some sort of give. You've got to put in the time and effort to build something. Um, Louie will I'll talk to this with Louie when I do the Building the Dream podcast. He just did a thing, he's like, at the moment I'm working my ass off, but it will be worth it in the end. You've got to put in the effort now. It's like you, for example, you are you have gone from spending every single day at home doing what you do to now things are ramping up, and you're gonna have to spend more time in the office, more time away from your family. But the idea is by doing that, you then get to spend more quality time with the family because you build enough up, then you can go on two holidays a year. Then that's like, yes, as an entrepreneur, you're still gonna have your phone, you're still gonna have things to do, but that time is more quality than if you was to spend six hours every single day with them. Yeah, it's like when my parents moved to Spain, my daughter was worried that uh because she used to see them every Wednesday. Oh no, I'm not gonna see you ever again, I'm not gonna see you. And then it worked out in the first six months that they were in Spain. We actually spent more time together than she did over a year seeing them every Wednesday for a couple of hours. Yeah, and that's like so. I feel that you've got to have some sort of sacrifice. Don't work weekends unless you have to, don't make yourself a busy because a lot of entrepreneurs, oh, I've got to be in work because I feel like I'm working if I'm in work. You don't structure your days, structure what's important for the business to move forward and succeed, but then you get to spend, and that's the whole having the money to buy back the time or having the processes to buy back the time to be able to spend with your family. I feel that that's an art. But by being in the office for 18 hours a day as opposed to 12, I guarantee you you structure it, you can do as much in the 12 as you do in the 18.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you know, every time I have a guest and I go, I really appreciate you coming in today, because actually I've learned quite a lot. I feel like we've had a proper guest in. Thank you. Especially that last bit, mate. No, actually it does make a lot of sense to be fair. It does make a lot of sense because that's been my main fear for the last couple of weeks, has been really like, what am I gonna do with my time with my family because I've been spending so much of it. Actually, now you've said that. Earlier you mentioned about putting your phone on silent and not not replying to those emails because they're not actually as important. You can reply to them in two hours' time. Now you're telling me that actually the time that I'm gonna spend with them is quality as long as I make sure it is. Actually, it does make total sense.
SPEAKER_02So, yeah, yeah, and I mean even if you even if you had to work six days a week, what you do on the Sundays, you're like, right, I've worked hard this week, what should we do? Let's go out, let's go crazy golf, let's go to the beach, you do more, you make the time that you've got with them more valuable, as opposed to if you're seeing them every single day, it gets it's not boring this to me, I mean they sit on the sofa and you watch TV. You watch Bluey for 15 hours a week. Do you know what I mean? Whereas it's a great programme, though. Whereas if you structure your time, and my kids, my bless my wife, she gets the waking them up in the mornings, doing this, getting them dressed, whereas I get the daddy, daddy, how was your day? We missed you so much. Um and yeah, I think it's important to realise that just because you're in the office and you're working 60, 70, 80 hour weeks, you don't need to. You might not need to. There are some times when you're first starting and you need to, but once things are running, sit back. I think it's impossible. I think it's impossible. I think it's really important to sit back and look at what you're doing on a daily basis. Like we all say, we can't I can't find time to go to the gym. Why not? I bet you could. Oh, I can't find time to I bet you could. And book those holidays. Because a lot of us, what what we do is, and my wife's terrible for this. I said, right, in August, we're gonna drive out to Spain and we're gonna stay there for a month. Oh, I can't do that, I lose my clients. Yeah. I said, no, we'll do the first week as a family, the second week and the third week, you can come home Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, fly back Thursday, Friday, Saturday, I'll go home Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, fly back. So we'll do the first week and the last week as a full as a whole family. Yeah. And then in the middle, you can come home. If your clients can't book far enough of advance to miss you for one week there and two weeks there, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Makes a big makes a makes a big difference when you think of it like that, doesn't it?
SPEAKER_02And if you don't book these things, they never happen. It's like now, if you left here and you went and booked two weeks in wherever for you, Sam and Cruz, you're gonna go on it because you booked it and you committed to it, and you will make it happen. If you don't leave here today and you don't book that trip, chances are you won't.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And you'll get to it and it'll be like, oh shall we can we do it? Can we not? Make it work, make it happen. Because that's more important than whatever you were gonna be doing for those two weeks.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's my all right. Well, on going on. So you're gonna have to do the podcast on your own for a couple of weeks. That's fine. I can't wait. Mind you, you'll probably be in Spain, so I haven't told you actually.
Book It Or It Won’t Happen
SPEAKER_02No, no, no. Easter, mate. Eight days at Easter. Alright. That's the next time it's booked. Now I've got a passport as well.
SPEAKER_01Have you?
SPEAKER_02Got my passport back here.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, good. Is that because you got arrested last time you went out?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, for be for staying there too long.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. What else you got for mate? I don't think there's much left, mate, to be fair. I wanted to really get a bit of an overview of you for myself as well, because obviously we speak all the time. We're quite good friends now, and we don't ever I've really never really delved deep into Oh, we could go deeper. It is you do, yeah, but we don't have eight hours, mate, unfortunately. No, no, no. Well, yeah, that's that episode has actually been quite a functional episode. We haven't gone completely off plan and all over the place like we normally do. So actually, I think it's quite good. Um So what what would your final words like to veer about Ashley? What would you say? What would you say your positives and your negatives are? That's we'll we'll start with the negatives and we'll finish with the positives. Never never finish on the negative.
SPEAKER_02Well for me personally, yeah.
SPEAKER_01My negatives are just to see if other people resonate with the same issues, mate. I guarantee they will.
SPEAKER_02My negatives have got to be that I'm still not living in the present. I'm not grateful enough for the things that I have.
SPEAKER_01Um god. I know you've not once texted me saying you appreciate my friendship. Disgusting behaviour.
SPEAKER_02Um what else? So I'm still not living in the present. I'm still not as grateful as the things I'm still not grateful enough for the things I have around me. Um and I still tend to people please to a certain extent, but I'm learning that.
SPEAKER_01I don't think that's a bad thing, mate. I don't think that's a negative thing. I don't think I think people pleasing where you're a lap dog and you say yes to everything, I think that's not right. But I think in life it's good to allow people to to feel like they're being pleased a little bit.
SPEAKER_02No, I think for me the people pleasing is more like I'll get a client and they'll be badger it pushing me down on price and pushing me down and pushing me down. Um that's something that I need to stop because I need to know my worth more. And a lot of people, especially sort of ultra-high net worth people, people with money, they respect when you tell them no. Yeah. When you have a backbone. And if you say yes to someone once, they think the next time's yes, and then it's yes, and then it's yes.
SPEAKER_01And they tell all their friends that it's a yes as well, I suppose, doesn't it?
SPEAKER_02And that's the thing for me. When I say about people pleasing, it's when you're standing in a room and you don't agree with someone's opinion, tell them you don't agree with their opinion. Don't say, Oh, yeah, yeah, you're right, mate, just because that's not gonna get you anywhere. But you're unauthentically yourself. That's what I'm trying to do anyway. Which I think hopefully has come across what we've done.
SPEAKER_01That's kind of why I wanted to do it because nobody knows about you, everyone always you always talk about me. Yeah, so what is all Chris is doing? Oh, Chris said this, or Chris said that, oh Chris is being a knob again, whatever. That's not a swear word. Positives. Yeah. I wouldn't be able to do this, but you know that. This is really uncomfortable for me.
Positives, Negatives And Self‑Improvement
SPEAKER_02So that's kind of why I chucked it on you. Positives would be I know my stuff, I know what I'm doing, I have a vision for the future, and I am very good at what I do. If you don't believe me and you're doing a project, come and find out for yourself. Um I'm trying to do better. That's a positive. The last the last couple of years I'm trying to do better. Now I'm really sort of trying to do better. I'm trying to exercise more, I'm trying to cut out vaping and smoking, I'm trying not to drink, I'm just trying to be a better person, I'm trying to be a better dad, I'm trying to be a better husband, I'm trying to be a better son. I'm like everything that I'm doing at the moment, I'm trying to be better, and I'm trying to shift my energy away from looking at politics, looking at the things that I can't control, and focusing on the things I can control, which is me. You've got to be able to love yourself, and this is cliche as anything. But if you don't love yourself, then how are other people gonna love you?
SPEAKER_01Very true, mate.
SPEAKER_02Um, another positive. I'm absolutely beautiful. Well I wasn't gonna say anything. I think I'm absolutely beautiful, forgiveness. Everyone can see it on camera, mate. You know, so no, that's it. I think that I'm a good guy. I think I'm a good dad, I think I'm a good friend, I'm a good business partner, I'm a good I could be better, but I know my worth.
SPEAKER_01Nobody's perfect. That's it. You're not far off, mate. You're not far off. I've tried to be so nice through that episode, it's been so horrible, so difficult. Yeah, right. Well, that has been the episode called Ashley. Are we gonna call it that? Yeah, do you reckon that'll get clicks on a thumbnail? 100%, mate. Everyone will think it's Ashley Kane or Ashley. I don't know, I can't try to figure some Ashley's Roberts. Is it Roberts as well? That's the dancing guy. Ashley Banjo. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, yeah. This episode is called Ashley Banjo.
SPEAKER_02There goes the algorithm. Thanks for watching, thanks for listening. Um, we do appreciate our listeners every week. We are getting more. And what's more important is we're getting loyal listeners. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I I stopped at the petrol station yesterday and saw someone I haven't seen for years. Oh, can't even get away from City, let alone hearing, yeah? I said, What are you talking about? He went, I was listening to your podcast while I was cutting the grass earlier on. He's a uh gardener. Yeah. Oh, you listen to it. He's like, man, I've listened to every single episode. I love it. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02So it's uh you know, it's it's nice to hear, yeah, and it does. So if you're a loyal listener, just drop us a DM or something just to say, because it does help. Yeah, Tom, if you're listening, butt in your grass, send us a message.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get involved, get involved. Cool. All right, mate. Well, thank you very much for coming in today. I really appreciate your time, Ashley.
SPEAKER_02Right, thanks for having me. It's a beautiful studio, isn't it? Absolute pleasure, man. Really nice studio.
Loyal Listeners And Sponsor Message
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you'll have to come again, maybe next week. Maybe next week. Or maybe five miles when we do the bonus episode. Yeah. Right, guys, thank you so much for listening. This episode is sponsored by Aura Surfaces. I'm gonna let Ashley uh sponsor this podcast because we've spoken about his business. So yeah, there you go. We'll see you soon.
SPEAKER_02Aura Surfaces are private surface consultants. If you are looking to embark on a project and building a house of your dreams or renovating a garden area, and you're not price driven, and you and you respect knowledge, then please get in touch. We would love to hold your hand through the process because I know it's difficult.
SPEAKER_01There's a bit of sponsorship. Lovely, mate, yeah. Right, thank you so much, guys. Have a great week. Uh make sure you listen on Thursday. Yeah. Bonus, bonus time. What's been going on?