Screens, Phones and saving Childhood: Talking Tech with SS Coulter

This is a video about Screens, Phones and Saving Childhood: Talking Tech with SS Coulter

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Host Tanya Roundy interviews Shannon “SS” Coulter about helping families build healthier relationships with technology, especially protecting kids from addictive screen design that rewires brains and fuels anxiety. Shannon traces her focus back to 2008, when her young stepchildren didn’t know how to play outside, and discusses how constant dopamine-driven scrolling, social comparison, and notifications are intentionally engineered like “Big Tobacco.” They praise Utah’s push to keep phones out of schools, citing better social interaction, fewer fights, and academic improvement, and argue kids need boredom, play, imagination, and boundaries to develop resilience and social skills. Shannon shares her resources: Planet Fossa children’s books and a forthcoming parent-focused activity app with point-based incentives, plus adult coaching/course work and plans for a podcast aimed at millennial moms, emphasizing moderation and “have more fun.”

00:00 Welcome and Introductions
00:48 Mission to Tame Tech
03:13 Screens Steal Childhood
07:14 Boredom Builds Brains
08:31 Replacing Screen Dopamine
10:24 Apps Designed to Hook You
12:30 Big Tech vs Kids Safety
15:03 Phones Out of Schools
18:09 Parents vs Phone Policies
20:38 Willpower Is Not Enough
22:01 Big Tech Playbook
22:38 Protecting Childhood Imagination
23:47 Fame Without Greatness
25:03 Parenting Without Screens
26:31 Overscheduled Kids Problem
28:47 Planet Fossa Tools
33:01 Break the Chain Community
35:12 Light the Spark Daily
36:21 Boredom Builds Creativity
38:27 Where to Find Resources
40:05 Have More Fun Finale
41:23 Post Show Wrap Chat

In a world full of uncertainty, how does one cope with unbearable loss and pain? A Christmas tragedy finds Steve and Maria struggling to find hope. With the love and support of family and friends, will they find peace as they walk through the fire of Uncertainty?

momandpopsnaturals.com. Natural Ingredients for a Healthy Life!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Welcome, welcome everyone. I am so excited to have uh another guest here with me that was referred by another guest that's ready to rant and rave and review with me. This is Roundy's rants, raves, and reviews. I'm your host, Tanya Roundy, and I have with me Shannon Coulter, but do you go by SS or is that just your That's my pen, so can we excellent. I was like, should I call it call me anything? Yeah, ask that before we started. I was like, but she is so excited to be here with me too, because we've already started ranting and raving about some things. So we're gonna have a great conversation and also share her work and what she's doing. So, Shannon, tell me a little bit about yourself and what you do do. Yes. So I'm excited to be here because before we started recording, we were talking about how Utah is leading the charge in a lot of things with kids and technology, but specifically not letting kids have their phones during school, which I think is so wonderful for not only the parents and the teachers, but for the children. And so my sole focus is really helping people have a better relationship with technology and making the technology our servant versus our master, because it's become the master. And the group I'm really interested in is the children, because it has shown to just do horrible things to their brain. And I actually started this campaign in 20, excuse me, in 2008, when I met, yeah, a long time ago, 18 years ago, I met my, I'm a stepmom. I met my stepkids when they were four, eight, and 10. And I told them to go out and play because that's what I knew. And they did not know what to do. Well, no, they didn't. Yeah, they came in five minutes later and they said, you know, Miss Shannon, we don't know what to do. And I was so because I was thrown into being a mom, I was completely caught off guard and upset by it because it wasn't gradually happening, it was just there. So I started looking into it, and they were determining like they're stuck on these screens. Now, this is before the smartphone, if you can believe it. Yeah, I was gonna say that was just barely when like the flip phones were coming out.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

We were just getting the internet.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

The iPhone, the iPhone came out in 2010, so this was 2008. So the iPhone selfies and all that craziness, yeah, didn't even hit yet, but their brains now we know. So back then when I started doing this, people were like, Oh, they'll be fine. And I said, Yeah, I don't think so. I don't think so. So now fast forward to today, and there's all sorts of stuff coming out showing that, hey, this is not just a thing that takes their attention. This is actually reshaping their brains and rewiring their brains. And so the beautiful thing is something I started 2008, 18 years ago is now finally taking traction, and people are saying, hey, we need a way out of this. And so what I've developed over all this time is books and resources and tools that I used with my kids to help them not get stuck on technology. And the thing that is so important to me, and I've been speaking about this for such a long time, but I finally can say to you like why this was such a big deal to me, is because when I look at my childhood and I think about my childhood, and I'm sure everybody who's listening, you'll hear me say this, and I can't imagine you're not gonna go, oh yeah, there's no part when I shut my eyes and think about the most important things and the best memories, none of them are on a screen. Now, I'm not saying I didn't see awesome movies and I didn't play Nintendo with my friends and all of that stuff, but I found such a joy, and I still do find such a joy thinking about those times, you know, when you were running around playing tag and you're scared and you're all this is going on, and you have the best time at camp, or you know, you can't believe this is happening and all these exciting things are going on. And we're taking that away from our kids. And it's the only time in your life that you ever get to be like that. You know, now, even and I hate to say it, it is, but it's true. Even when you're I'm I love to pray, I love to go on walks, even when I'm in those moments when I am connecting with God or can, you know, outside having the sun on my face, all these little things come into your brain, right? You have to literally train yourself not to do it. When you're a little kid, you're not worrying about the bills or the emails or any of that stuff. And so that was the other thing is I was sitting there going, technology was supposed to make things so much easier. We're supposed to have more time, we're supposed to be doing this. And I found myself even back then busier because I'm always with my laptop, always on my phone, blah, blah, blah. But I'm sitting there going, I have to do this now because I'm an adult. You should not be confronted with that stuff when you're a little kid. You just shouldn't. Yeah, everything should be sunshine and rainbows, literally. Running around with your imagination going wild. Yeah. I was loving when you were talking about that. Because I remember making mud pies, playing circus. We had the hula hoop could become like 20 million different things. Yes. And playing it with my brothers and sisters or even by myself, just coming up with all sorts of things that were just incredible. I love that you just said by yourself. Yes, because that's just really shows and the hula hoop thing. The amount of stuff we could turn things into is incredible. And we're taking that away from our kids. And then when you take that away from them, you take their ability to problem solve, to be resilient, to you know, use critical thinking. That's like when people are looking at this, a lot of times they're like, oh, it's just play. No, you cannot grow into a well-adapted adult without interaction and play because you don't know. I mean, we've see, so I'm I am upset that I missed out on Gen Z. So Gen Z is my kids, and I couldn't, like I said, and it's fine, I couldn't get people to listen to really feel like this is going to be a problem. Well, now we have this whole group of people, and I'm proud to say my kids are doing really well because I was so on top of them with this, but I still let them on the screens more than I wish I had because I didn't realize it was actually rewiring their brains, right? But good news is brains can rewire. It happens for everybody, it's awesome. So even though they had that issue and we're seeing a lot of Gen Z's, and I'm picking on them just because they were the first group of people to go through puberty on this market. Right, exactly. And so they're we look at them, and a lot of people give them a hard time, like, oh, they're rude or they're this, that, the other thing. No, they're not. Their brains missed down on the training it needed. And so when they walk into a room, when they get on an elevator, all this stuff, they're literally anxious because of how their brain is wired. It got wired for sitting in front of a screen, fast, you know, rewards, dopamine hits. So when they get into these other environments, they literally don't know what to do. Yeah. And I want people to hear that we cannot do that to another generation. Well, and it's even it even has redefined what education is. Because now they're like, you need to put it in small bites for them, you need to make it entertaining. I'm like, why are we changing it to fit what we know is not great for them instead of training them how to cope? Because, like you said, they're not learning how to adjust. They're not learning how to be uncomfortable and be okay with being uncomfortable. And being bored and being bored. And just I mean, my granddaughter, when she was with us like several times, she's like, I'm bored, grandma. I'm like, Great, what are you gonna do about it? Yeah, that's the that is the place where you have the most creativity. Right. I'm like, figure out something to do. We've got colored pencils, we've got crayons, we've got dolls, you've got activities, or we can cook, or we can do something together, but I sometimes I can't do it. So you've got to figure out how to be bored and be okay with this.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

And they don't know how to just not have something going constantly. Right. And then people get upset about that and and blame the children. And that's I mean, I'm not placing blame on anybody, but we think, oh, this is a bad kid or this, that, and the other thing. No, they are addicted to that feeling of reward dopamine. And so when you take the screen away or when you put them in these environments where they're bored, that would be like taking beer away from an alcoholic and expecting them to be right away. Withdrawals, yeah, it's withdrawal. And so we've got to understand. So I always say in the tools I provide is I'm giving something else for them to do so that they have an alternative. So, like instead of I'm gonna use the alcohol again because it's an easy one, instead of coming home at five o'clock and drinking a glass of wine, you're like, no, I what I really need to do is unwind. I'm gonna take a bath, I'm gonna go for a walk. You're just replacing it with another relaxing thing that's better for you. And when you feel better from that, you are we tend to go toward the thing that feels good. That's just what we do. So with the children, I'll just kind of give one of the things. I have an activity app coming out. Sounds completely counterintuitive, right? But it's an app for parents that gives them hundreds of outdoor activities or offline activities at their fingertips. So kid comes and says, I'm bored, and they said, Here is an activity and it's tied to points. So give them that activity so they do have something to do. But the beauty here is, and they're doing it because it's fun, but also they're gonna get points and they get rewards and all this stuff. But as they're doing it, that's when the brain's gonna rewire. And so the more we give them those activities, that more that part of their brain gets practice, the less you're gonna need to entertain them. And that's kind of the idea behind it. But it's like swapping one thing for the other, just helping you as a grandma go, okay, fine. I'm gonna give you 200 fossa points for doing these three things. And they're like, Oh, I'm gonna do it. So that's kind of one of my tools. I was gonna say it turns your phone into a tool for doing things rather than again mastering you, like, yeah, and and absolutely in great segment. I was gonna say segue, great. Yeah, segue, because that is another thing, is I wanted the kids, I want our kids to see us using technology as a tool as well. So if they can grab the app, get something, put it down, and do something productive, because I have no problem if children are on screens a little bit. We just have to really reduce it. But when they're on them, if they're doing something productive, because there's a huge difference between going on YouTube and watching a recipe and then repeating the recipe, then going on YouTube for three hours doom scrolling. Right. Or TikTok or the Insta or whatever it is, whatever they're going, and they're not even seeing or processing anything. It's just too true because one of the things that I learned, and you probably know this, but I will share it because it's so interesting to me, is that exact thing that you just said, like it's scroll, scroll, scroll, and you don't even process what you're watching. They develop that purposefully because it it takes away our natural stopping cues and we lose track of time. And they developed that based on rat experiments and they called in these behavioral psychologists on perfect to the tech companies. I've done all the research, and they did it on purpose because we don't know then when to stop.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

Right.

SPEAKER_01 11:17

And though everything behind the phone is developed like that the colors, the noises, everything. So if I'm talking and people are going, oh, I'm addicted, we all are. It's something that they're making us use that's addictive. It's like, you know, trying to quit eating dessert and having it all over your house.

unknown 11:36

Right.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

You know, it's very difficult. And so we're trying to make ourselves better with these things. I want to, one of the things I have is coaching for adults. I want to tell you how this thing is designed to do to you what it's doing because it will make you, to me, it will make you so mad, you're not gonna want it to have control over you. Because doesn't that just upset you? I mean, they even picked red for the dots, you know. A lot of people have turned it off, but when you get a notification that used to have the red dots, red is the most urgent color to us, and we we biologically need to clear it. They did that on purpose. Yeah. Well, I and I remember years ago watching it, and it's still so relevant today. It was a PBS interview video they did on persuasion and how companies spend billions of dollars to research for ads and commercials and politics and everything, the effect it has on us to get us to buy things, to be persuaded. Whether it has any car commercials that have nothing to do with a car, right? All these things. But in the last several years, it did people, and that's what Utah's been finding and researching and suing the tech companies for.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

And I think there's just actually a ruling that came down from Texas and California against the tech companies on their addiction things and how they are purposefully doing this to do this, and they know how damaging it is to kids, and they're still doing it.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

Oh, yeah. So I if you compare big tech to big tobacco, they're following the same exact playbook. Yes, 100%. They know it's bad for the kids, they've hidden the research, they've been sued, they've gone to Congress, they don't care. They literally do not care. They know that Instagram is horrible for teenage girls. They have the research, they just bury it. Yeah, yeah. And I think they should be held accountable, or we are gonna have to lock arms as a nation and just demand that our kids are not on it. Now, I know a lot of people are upset about that, and I will go into this as a rant. But and I understand the opposite argument. So there's an argument that I know Australia just passed the kids cannot have social media until 16. I think that's great, but there's this counter-argument that's like, oh, if they can't have it and you have to digitally prove who you are to show you're an adult, then they're gonna have the digital thumbprint of you. I don't want that either. Right. I do not want any of I do not know what the solution here is, but I do think it's okay. And they're also worried that kids won't be able to go out and find alternative information from their parents, from the mainstream media. Totally on board with that. But you can let your kids sit on a laptop or on a desktop in your kitchen and watch what they're doing. That's what we did. If they've got the internet in their pocket and they're in their room and some predator is coming after them, or they're scrolling, or they're posting pictures of themselves or getting naked pictures of other people. You've got to watch your kids. It's our job. So, and then I love using this, but if they do sneak and they get something and they're sneaking, let them know they're sneaking. And if they get caught, they're gonna be in deep trouble. That's part of childhood. It's called parenting. It's called parenting. Well, and I know you did it and I did. I did naughty things, and I knew they were naughty. So I knew I was crossing a boundary. I knew I shouldn't be doing it, and I knew if I was gonna get caught, I was gonna get trouble. And when I did get caught, I got in trouble. Kids need to know that stuff. I'm not trying it's boundaries, yes, it's part of boundaries. So I mean, we'll have to figure all of that out because I do understand the argument, like, oh, the digital thing. Oh my gosh, I don't want that on me. So I don't know how we do that. But one thing that's so easy to start is what Utah's doing in the schools. Yep. Because by taking the phone away or putting the phone and wherever they're putting it from get there to leave, when you when those kids have their phones, so I haven't been in school forever. I'm not a teacher like you, but I can just envision if you're on your phone, you don't get the time at the lockers, you don't get the passing things, passing hallway conversations, you don't get the before and after class. That was the best part of school. That's where it all happened, that's where flirting happened, and you know, making plans with your friends and doing all that stuff. That this generation with their phones has just got their head buried. They sit next to each other and just text, and they're next to them. I'm like, I know, I okay, I don't even understand, like literally, but we can say, like, why do they do that? I'm telling you, they do that because they don't have the part of their brain wired to feel comfortable looking at the person in the eyes. This is all a downward spiral. But people could be like, Oh, you know, Tanya and Shannon are just you know upset about this. No, like I want people, and I love that we're having this rant, but I want people to think about yourself, especially in middle school and high school, and how much fun the hallways were, how much fun locker time was. Yeah, and if you get the little happiness from that, imagine not having that. And that's what we're doing. They have to learn social skills somewhere, and they're like, Well, we have anxiety. Well, guess what?

SPEAKER_00 16:40

They're not gonna learn not to have social anxiety, they're not gonna learn how to interact if we allow them to escape.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

Well, and I will say the anxiety is coming from the phone, exactly. And that's the other part, is it's actually making it worse. It's making it worse because of the constant dopamine hits. Well, well, it's not the dopamine. Let me correct that. It is the well, think about yourself as an adult. You get yourself on all of these places you're doing, you're socially comparing yourself to people. So there's that. There's the stuff that's coming at them that they should not have to know about, of at least not 24-7. I like to use the challenger from 1986, was it? Yes, it was. Yeah. So we all experienced it together as one, and it was horrible. Imagine that being every hour on the hour. Right. That's their life of abarment of all this information and negative information constant to extend the positive. Plus, yeah, plus their brains are on constant alert from the sounds, the dings, the pings. That makes the ang the part of your brain, the prefrontal cortex, cannot calm down, can't regulate. All of these things are contributing to the anxiety. Yeah. So I it, like I said, it's this bad, vicious downward cycle that on the other side of it, you get them interacting, you get them playing. That part of their brain is going to become the six-lane highway. And the other part's gonna be the weeds, and they'll feel better. We just have to make the transition and get through the, oh, they don't like me right now. Well, that's like you said, that's parenting.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

Get over it.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

Yeah, exactly. Well, and a lot of the argument in the Utah for parents was like, well, that's our job, like, great. But at the same time, you can't be with them all the time. And while you might be trying your best as a parent to do, or some parents aren't, whatever it might be, or they feel it's better for their kid to have more, or whatever. We know what the companies are doing and is so bad. We wouldn't let our kids go out and smoke and drink just because we're like, well, that's my job as a parent. We still hold the companies accountable. Yes, I actually have said, like handing your kid's smartphone, you might as well hand them like a cigarette. It's the same thing. We know how bad it is for them. Yeah. So what is the argument with the parents? Like they're saying that, well, the parents should be in charge. The government shouldn't be the ones dictating, you know, when they can have and have their phones. I want the worst part is in school, half the time it is the parent using the phone to contact their child and texting them. Okay. And I have a whole, I have a rant about that. First go. Yes. Your kids need time without you to figure out who they are. But second, I know one of the things that makes people upset is oh, what if there's a school shooting? Well, let me tell you, is it better for your kid to be looking at their phone, trying to talk to you or eyes up on the teacher who's been trained in that? Right. You're 10 times safer if they're listening to the teacher and moving than they are trying to get information from you who are freaking out. Exactly. Yeah. So and often we're locked down in the room, their phones are in the room, they can grab their phone at that point. I mean, I think it's like that that would be an extreme situation where we can't. It's extreme, but that's you know, they're always used the little extremes. But to me, it's like it's better for the kids to be eyes locked on you. Exactly. We've got to pick up the situation, not worried about the phone and worrying about this. We should be worried about that moment and keeping you safe, not right contacting a parent. And the other thing is in in the research I have done regarding the tech companies, and you said the parents like that should be our job. You don't stand a chance, mom and dad, because a lot of people think it's mom and dad's fault that this stuff is happening. No, you have a thousand engineers on the other side of the phone working against you who know how to manipulate you. So even if you're the best parent in the world, your child is dealing with an addictive device.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

Yeah. And it's they'll do what they want. I lost you.

SPEAKER_01 20:35

I'll tell you about it. Okay, we got it. Yes. Addicted on the other side. Working against us. That's where we kind of left off. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I was just saying, like, it's almost too much to ask it to be like you brought up the cigarettes. The cigarettes were so addictive. You once you get that into somebody's hand, they purposely made them to make you crave more, want more, smoke faster. The whole thing was on purpose. Think of the smartphone as the same way. It's on purpose. And then they think they're the solution too, because notice that all of the alcohol companies, all of the drug and pharmaceutical companies, the even the smoking company, they make the anti or the cure or the oh, you're right on top of it. Absolutely. And it's it's fake.

unknown 21:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:17

The light cigarette, it wasn't any better for you. Yeah, that was a help. Not any better for you. And on with the cell phone, they've got the you know, parental devices, which there's some good ones that could keep your kids off of stuff, but the ones where you've got the screen lemonade or yeah, that's testing your willpower. So it's you might as well have a glass of wine and just put a little thing over it and have it open there and just be like, I'm not gonna have it tonight. No, if you have a problem, you're gonna go have it. Right. So they're all baloney. You've yes, like it's too much. You cannot, this cannot base be based on your willpower because I like to say willpower is only strong in the morning. The more tired you get, the willpower's out the window. It's true. Yeah. At the end of the day, it's gone. It's gone. So it is. So 100%. If you want to know what big tech is doing, look at big tobacco. It's the same play. And if you for some reason do not think that these companies would do that to us, it's all about money. That's all they care about.

SPEAKER_00 22:19

Exactly.

unknown 22:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

Big big pharma, all that.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

100%. And we need to, so knowing that, knowing what they're doing to the drugs, to pharma is what I mean, to the food, all that stuff, don't let them do that to your kids through their phones. And that's really my drive because I just I know most parents would do anything for their kids. So we need to work together to protect their childhood and their innocence. And, you know, even and I think one of the most important things, and we kind of touched on this earlier, but I think one of the most important things in the world is to let children's imagination grow in innocence, because then you get to know who your kids are, what's important to them, and who God made them to be. Because you might have three kids and you get one that's going to be a firefighter, one's a stay-at-home mom, and one's a doctor. And you can sit there as a parent being like, Oh, I don't know if they're gonna, you know, if this is gonna be successful. You'll know it's successful because it's success to them.

SPEAKER_00 23:21

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 23:22

So it doesn't matter what it looks on paper, it matters what it means to them. So I just think there's so many different things that are important with this. It also gives the kids time to figure out who they are without all the noise, too. Because I think they are so surrounded by so much they don't know how to figure out who they are.

unknown 23:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:39

And so, I mean, we can't help them figure out who they are.

SPEAKER_00 23:42

We can't know who they are when they don't even know and have time to figure out and be okay with not being knowing who they are and all these things telling them what to be, and yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

Well, and the other thing that drives me crazy is that because of social media and because of how quickly someone can become famous, fame has been removed from greatness.

SPEAKER_00 24:05

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

And so when you let your kids out there, they are seeing people who are famous because of very stupid things. And I will say stupid, they're famous for a sex tape, they're famous for doing like a stupid prank, and that's what they're famous for. And your kids are idolizing these people, yeah. Versus when we were young, the famous people were famous because they did something incredible, usually, and they were excellent, and something to look up and aspire to try and go beyond and above. And now our kids are aspiring to be influencers, and influencers can be some of the worst people that there are. Yeah. So that's kind of what I think you were saying, was what I got on this topic is like they can't even figure out who they are because they're hearing, well, your hair has to look this way, and your lips have to be this way, and you gotta talk like the no, just be you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:05

And I also think that is figure out who that is.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

And I also think, you know, parents, you're letting the internet raise your child. They need to know what you think about things, what your values are. They might split from it when they get older, but this is your chance to help mold a soul. Right. So there's all these different reasons.

SPEAKER_00 25:26

Yeah. Read a book, read lots of different books with different things, have conversations around the dinner table, talk about what's going on as a family. I mean, all those things that can help them understand and have values and things like that.

SPEAKER_01 25:40

Yeah. And in a lot of the things you just said, I know people here that are like, oh, it's so hard. It's so hard. Parenting is hard. It's not easy, but it gets a lot easier if your kids have an imagination muscle that's big and they can actually entertain themselves without you. That's what we're going for. But there's going to be a harder transition if you're taking the phone away from them, but they will get there because we were there and we're no different than they are.

SPEAKER_00 26:04

And it's easier too when you're having those conversations because you know what's going on and you know what's you know happening and because then you're here and they're so busy now. They're running from this to this, and I know so many things, but it's like, dude, even if you just sit down and have a meal together once a week and get to have that conversation and and be together, you're going to have a better relationship, and you're going to also develop those skills that they need to balance life in some way.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

Absolutely. You said something there too that I was like, oh, I gotta go on another rant. But for real, our kids are too scheduled as well. And that scheduling, so I this really started bothering me this summer. So I was seeing the kids, they get out of school and their parents let them have like three days, and then they're into this camp and this camp. And I'm like, what happened to summer? Yeah, I don't even get it. What did you say? I don't get it either. It's like, dude, yeah. What happened to summer? Because the kids, like that was the best part. You had, you know, the three months of summer where you were maybe you had one camp, but now it's like school just turns to camp. And if you're constantly in scheduled programming, you again are not learning who you are. I think we need to like nip that in the bud, like and stop doing like, oh, you can only play soccer because you might be the one percent. I think that's even high that makes it point zero one percent, maybe zero one percent that makes it, and also if you play the same sport over and over again when you're growing up, that is gonna screw up your little body. Oh, yeah. Yes, you need to like use all different things. Oh man, we have a lot of work to do, people.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

I remember when, as my mom would have us, we would have an hour rest time in the middle of the day where we were to read or have quiet and stillness. But the other times where we were baking and cooking with her, we were gardening and we had chores and we were out and playing and you know, doing things. And when we got older as teenagers, we might have like an activity or a club or something we were part of.

SPEAKER_01 28:11

Yeah, but it wasn't taking up our entire dance, it's taking up the entire day, and that's so I am not screen-free and I'm not like sports free, but everything in my creation. Everything and that's the key moderation, right? Moderation of all of this, and let's just calm down because why push your kid? I mean, these kids are like, I've got to choose between lacrosse and football because I'm why just play both. Yep, have some fun, have some fun. I think we need to all have some fun. I actually think that's really what we need to do. It's just all have some fun. Let's have some fun. Let's have some fun. Yeah, that's too crazy. Well, with all of this, you have been doing some things to try and help parents within this. So tell me about some of the things you've been doing that you've created to help parents and grandparents, and anyone at large help deal with this. Yes. So I created a company with my husband back in 2008, but I'll just tell where it is now. So we came up with a company called The Planet Fossa, and FASA is fun activities, stories, service, and awards. And when you enter that planet, that's where you're going. Where did Fossa come from? I have a series of children's books, and the main character was my cat Moo Fasa. I changed it to FASA so Disney wouldn't come after me. I was gonna say so I created those books because I back when I looked at the books in 2008, they were so dumbed down to the children. I just couldn't stand it. It was so upsetting to me, and it just was an insult to children. So I started and I started writing these books, and they're based on the cats and dogs my husband and I have loved throughout our lives, but I made them very rich. The stories, let's say the story is 20 pages, then you've got 60 more pages of activities, questions, plot twists, all sorts of stuff because I wanted the dollar to go farther, like instead of paying like $5.99 for like three pictures. I was like, no, let's get this to be something that the parents can really get into with the kids. I give lessons in it and then talking points. So as I said before, mom and dad can give their values, you know, explain how they want it. So that's the idea behind the books. There's coloring pages, hidden pictures, like highlights, all that stuff. Then to go along with it, when I started with my kids, they would come in and I really was trying to compete with the screens. And I'd go on Google, there was Google and Pinterest back then, and I was so overwhelmed with the amount of information. And I know that's even worse now. So the amount of information, nothing was organized. A lot of the women on Pinterest at the time were perfect. I'm like, yeah, I can't do that, can't compete with that. And they'd have like 20 materials I'd have to go get. And I'm like, I just want something now easy that I can do using stuff around the house because that's better for the imagination anyway. So what I did, I came out of uh corporate America, I did wellness programs, and I knew how much points and rewards drive people. And I also mind, heart and body makes a full person. So what we did is I worked with retired teachers at the time, and we came up with hundreds of what we call nuggets, but they are mind heart and body activities that take people through an initial challenge. And then, like we were saying with the hula hoop, we give a challenge that changes it, and then talking points for the parents. And so they are called, it's called the Fossa Nuggets of Fun. So you go in and you're like, I've got two kids, I need a half an hour, and they need to move. So I need a body activity. And this thing goes boom, super simple. They're all tied to points. So if your kids are giving you a hard time, you're like, okay, well, if you get these 200 points, you can blah, blah, blah. And I we give suggestions of rewards, but we actually leave it up to the parents because you know what makes your kids tick. Right. So you set up rewards, you're going to give them anyway. You're just incentivizing them with points and how they'll get the points is play. So we're building the imagination muscle. The other part of the app, which I really like, are called the quick hits. And that's for like when you're in the car, you're standing in line at the grocery store, you want to talk to your kids about something, or you just need peace by yourself. They are simple quick hits that you go in and we just say, Here's something you can give to your kids for five minutes, or you're, you know, you're in the doctor's office. And it's like, you can do this right here in the office with no materials. So that's the idea. I wanted to arm myself and now parents today with things that are super simple. And this is stuff like hot lava monster. You're just not thinking about this because your kids are annoying you. You don't want them to put that's the moment that you were put them on the screen because they're annoying you. I want you to grab the app and give them an activity. And that's how it works. So those are two tools. And then in that app, they can pick an avatar. I mean, the avatar doesn't really do anything, but it's one of my seven characters. So they can pick one of those seven characters that represents them, and hopefully that will draw them to the books so they're getting reading in as well, because that's very good for your imagination. That's the planet FASA right now. And you asked me what I'm doing for adults. I developed a course called Break the Chain. We are in the middle of changing it because I taught the course, I taught all about the algorithms and the engineers that I told you behind the phone, really gave people information so they could be set free. I gave them challenges. What happened though is we got away from each other after the challenge and they felt themselves being drawn back in. So I'm redoing it to create a community where people can depend on each other and keep themselves going. So that will come back. And then I have a new podcast coming out eventually for millennial moms because they're my real target because they're the parents of the young kids right now. So I want to help them compete with technology, kind of calm down their nervous system so they're more present and feeling better so they can do this for their kids. So that's my whole thing.

SPEAKER_00 33:58

Well, I'm excited because as a grandma and with my children, and they're having kids right now and they've got young ones. And so, like, yay!

SPEAKER_01 34:07

It's gonna be amazing. And they come to my house, I'm like, grandma's got something for you.

SPEAKER_00 34:12

Yeah, because well, and that's it's true, right? Because so much is geared around the screens nowadays to have something as an alternative to helping.

SPEAKER_01 34:20

Yeah, it's hard to compete. And yeah, yeah, and I'm not saying it's easy to compete. I'm not saying parenting is easy, but we can get these tools. And what as we've said over and over again during the show, if you get the kids playing, their imagination will grow, they will want to play more because at the end of the day, your kids want to play. They do. There's just this addicting thing getting in their way.

SPEAKER_00 34:41

And it's even the teenagers because I will say this year with uh because they didn't implement they haven't implemented the law yet, but they did come up with a requirement in our districts in our school. And next year it'll be the even the high school has to, but it's been bell to bell, and uh we have had less fights in the hallways. Oh yeah. I have seen much more conversations, I've seen kids uh talking to each other more, I have seen such a difference academically in what they're doing as well, uh, that it's it we it will help.

SPEAKER_01 35:14

And it doesn't take long. It doesn't take long. I think I think what happens is that, and I've talked to some moms, I think what we do is we think that to get the kids having fun, we have to stoke this giant fire and keep the fire going and we get tired, and how am I gonna do this? You don't have to do that, you just have to light the spark, and then your kids' imagination will just go nuts. And if you can light the spark, I'm you know, plugging my app, but anyway, if you can light the spark every day, they'll take the fire. You don't have to, you don't have to have this whole elaborate thing set up for them. They're kids, and that exactly, and that's the thing too. So many brief when I was had young kids, that was the thing, it's like, and there was all these things for you to do with your kids, and all it was like so elaborate and so yes, that was exhausting to turn exhausting, and you felt like you're a bad parent because you're not doing all these things, and like dude, my mom was like, Here's some play-doh that we made by ourselves with flowers. Here's your hula hoop. Here's your hula hoop. It's like go simple and get the things out of their way too, because we can take that obstruction out of their way. Yeah, we can take the thing that's in their front of their face and say, Nope. Nope. And I think, and I love to say this, but the best thing you can do is be okay with your kids being bored and mad at you. We'll be okay. You know, I'm always I'm a bad mom because I love you so much that I'm gonna make you and I say that to my kids too. I'm like, I'm a bad teacher, I'm a mean teacher, I am going to make you think. I'm going to make you do something. I'm gonna make you do this. Yeah. You'll love me later. You will look personally you will remember me. Right? And and it's hard now and it's hard for them. I don't care because I know what it's gonna be because I'm old enough now. But I remember, you know, it's yeah, it is hard. But like like I said, if they're bored, we talked about that earlier. That's the petri dish for creativity, right? And them being mad at you, they'll learn how to deal with that emotion. And they'll be like, oh, this isn't that bad. And you'll realize they still love you. My kids were mad at me all the time, now they want to be around me all the time. So I'm like, okay, see? Yeah, you know, they do grow up and they figure things out, and it's okay, but yeah, it's just and I think and I think the generation of parents now did never had to learn that themselves in a lot of ways, and so they have a hard time being okay with those emotions and things too.

SPEAKER_00 37:41

So this is just for them to learn.

SPEAKER_01 37:43

You hit the nail on the head, and that's kind of why as a Gen Xer, I'm going to help the millennials because I'm like, you guys didn't learn how to do this. Yeah, and it feels really bad. It feels bad from a Gen Xer whose parents were like, We don't cry, you know. Like, it's okay to cry, but you're crying. And I'm like, and it was even hard for me, and that's how I was raised. I can't imagine that. I think we can put some balance in here. I think we can go to the I know we need a balance, we need a balance, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 38:13

That's I think where we're at, is we just need to figure out how we can balance both ends.

SPEAKER_01 38:18

Yes, yes. From like, yeah, so it's wonderful. It's gonna be it's gonna be a lot of fun. I'll learn a lot on the way with the way they were raised compared to the way we were raised. We can write a whole paper and a whole new thing on that.

SPEAKER_00 38:30

We're done. Perfect. Where can we buy or get or find your things so that and follow you so we can get involved, get the help, and get these resources, and then hopefully follow you through your journey as well.

SPEAKER_01 38:45

Yes, thank you. So everything is at ssculter.com. So I'll spell it s is in Shannon. S again is in Shannon, but it's Sue. So Shannon, Sue, S Sculter, C O U L T E R dot com. So if you go out there, all my socials are linked from there and everything. And it's just gonna be a really exciting adventure. We're just in beta testing for the app because I wanted to make sure I'm actually having it beta tested by 15 millennial moms. I wanted to make sure it was right for them because, you know, I'm old. No, just wanted to make sure it was right for them and their kids. So it's in beta testing, it will be out this summer, and four of my books are out on Amazon and we'll revamp the coaching. I want to make sure that when we finish, you're still supported. So we're gonna do it a little bit differently. And I'm super excited about all this. I love talking to you because I can hear your passion for this. And I think a lot of people have passion. We just need to lock arms and make it happen. And I know we can do it. We've done it with other things, so we'll do it with this too.

SPEAKER_00 39:44

We're not alone in this, and we're not alone in our frustrations, we're not alone in our desires to help things, and you're right, we just need to figure out we're not alone and get come together.

SPEAKER_01 39:53

Yeah. Yeah. That is awesome. I am so excited.

SPEAKER_00 39:58

Some will be the perfect time for this to come out for all those bored kids that need to be bored and do something with them and help our parents through this summer and getting things. Is there a final last message that you want to leave with us and send us away with as we go forward?

SPEAKER_02 40:17

So yeah, I think we said it together. I think we all just need to have more fun. Yeah, like I really do.

SPEAKER_01 40:26

Have fun. That is a truth. And parents, we can have fun. We don't have to be perfect, just have fun. Right? Sometimes the best fun is in the imperfection.

SPEAKER_00 40:38

Enjoy that part of it. That is so cool.

SPEAKER_01 40:41

It has been a pleasure so much, Shannon, visiting with you and ranting with you. If you ever want to get a rant again, let's do this. Absolutely. And everyone go out, follow her, get on, get the books to help your kids, follow for the app to be coming soon. And hopefully the podcast that will help us all generations help our kids, help ourselves become better people and get off these addicting devices and use them as a tool and not is late to them any further. I hope thank you so much, Shannon. And we will see you next time on Randy's Rants, Raves, and Radio's. Now you're loved, everyone. Oh yes, that was great. So much ranting. I love it. Yeah, I'm sorry. Oh my gosh, the my lawn was being mowed in the middle of the room. Oh no, I didn't hear anything. I was like, just I'm just gonna ignore it. It was like didn't hear any of it. It's great. These computers are getting these microphones are getting better at it. You're so good. Yeah, what timing? I was like, perfect. Yeah, you know, six o'clock at night. Well, you know, our imaginations will just go with the flow. Yeah, exactly. That was excellent. I'm so happy to have met you. You too. Keep me posted.

SPEAKER_00 41:59

And if you want, when you get it out and rolling, if you want to get on and do anything more or rant about anything else, please let me know.

SPEAKER_01 42:06

Love the ranting. I and I really loved hearing what you're seeing with the change in schools. And I have a blog and I might want to just reach out and like maybe write one with you because that's your testimony is what people need to hear. And I will testify so much. Yeah, for sure. So I'll I'm I will be in touch with that because I really I can't say anything to it because I'm not there, but hearing you say there's less fight, that's the real thing. That's proof in the pudding, as they say, whatever that means. It's in there somewhere in the mess. So, well, thank you so much. And I will look forward to that. Yeah, reach out anytime. I'm happy to help however I guess okay. Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it. Have a good day. Okay, thank you. You too. Bye. Bye.