Episode 85 - When Power Tests You Who Do You Become

The world is getting louder, harsher, and more confusing and that’s exactly why we’re chasing clarity. With Passover around the corner, we start in a surprisingly grounded place: practical preparation. Check the “non-obvious” spots, don’t forget the car, and yes, even the suit pockets that quietly collect chametz through the year. That simple discipline becomes a model for personal honesty, because real growth starts when we search the corners we’d rather ignore. 

From there, we get into the heart of ethical leadership and Jewish ethics: authority never gives anyone a free pass to harm others. When the wrongdoing is between people, prayer and charity can’t replace the core work of repair. We break down why atonement requires going to the person you hurt, owning the impact, and making it right in a way that actually restores dignity and trust. The car accident story makes it painfully clear: paying for the dent may cover the invoice, but it doesn’t automatically cover the time, stress, and frustration you caused. 

Then we zoom out to a hopeful framework: kindness that spreads. When you do good and inspire someone to “pay it forward,” the impact compounds. We talk about how this shapes a healthy corporate culture, how leaders can train supervisors to lead with mercy, and why this kind of influence creates benefit up and down the chain. Finally, we name the real test of power: the temptation toward cruelty, and the daily practices like personal prayer and emunah that help us choose mercy even when the world feels full of noise and misinformation. 

If this gave you a new standard for apology, leadership, and trust, subscribe, share the episode with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the Trust Factor Podcast.

Transcript

Welcome And Passover Checklist

SPEAKER_00 0:22

The world is louder and more chaotic than ever. That's why clarity and truth have never been more important. Welcome to the Trust Factor Podcast. Good morning, everybody. Welcome to another episode of the Trust Factor Podcast. That was the new anthem for the Trust Factor Podcast. I hope you enjoyed it. We have a couple of days until Passover. Still plenty of time to get a lot of the things done. If you haven't gotten them done yet, again, focus on critical areas. Don't forget about your car. Don't forget about your clothes, especially guys wearing suits. If you go to shul with your suit on, check those pockets because you're oftentimes going to find candies in there from all the simchas that you had throughout the year that are chemits, so you got to get rid of them. Be creative. Don't look in the obvious places, because in the obvious places everybody looks. Look where nobody else looks. Couple of very interesting comments being made by the book that reflect back on this idea of authoritarianism. He says that a position of authority doesn't grant a person the license of transgressing the commandments between man and fellow man, which are very, very severe. The only way for you to atone for the sins that you do between man and fellow man is to make it good with that individual, the one who you've hurt, the one who you've harmed, who you've brought down, you have an obligation to fix it with them first. No matter how much personal prayer you do to your creator, if you've harmed your fellow man, you have an obligation to make it good with them first. God can't give you atonement on their behalf. If you've sinned to them, you have to make it right with them. And it doesn't matter how much charity you give and how much personal prayer you get involved in, you have to direct it at the individual who you've harmed. Now, if you're a person in a position of authority and you're harming people on a daily basis, good luck. Because you will never know what you've done, to what extent, and how to repair, because you won't know who to repair with. So you have to be exceedingly, exceedingly careful. He says, if you've inadvertently caused pain or anguish to anyone, ask your creator's forgiveness a thousand times. But as long as you haven't apologized to and placated the damaged individual, there will be stern judgment from above lingering over your head. What's it like? You're driving your car in the parking lot, you're pulling out of a spot, and you back up into another individual's car and you drive away and you're unnoticed. Now you can feel bad about it, and you can pray to your creator and you can ask for forgiveness all you want. You will never be forgiven for that because you cause damage to an individual. More than that, let's say you hit another individual's car and you write a letter and you put it on his windshield, or you say to them when you see them, look, I hit your car, I'm really, really sorry. I gotta go, I'm in a rush. I wish you all the best. Again, I really feel sorry for you get in your car and you drive away. Not good enough. It's simply not good enough to say sorry. You've damaged an individual. In order for that individual, if they've got any sense about them, in order for them to forgive you, you have to first make them whole. Which oftentimes is almost impossible because you think that fixing the vehicle, fixing the dent is enough to placate an individual. And even though oftentimes it is, it really isn't. Because what you haven't corrected for is all of the time and frustration and aggravation that you have caused this individual. Let's say the damage is$1,000. And let's say you take$1,000 and you pay for it immediately. You know questions asked. Here's the$1,000. Again, I'm sorry. I really feel bad about it. And they really give you atonement. Okay, you've won. But my friend, know clearly that you still have not compensated that person adequately. We're just used to saying, okay, we got money out of it. But wait a second. I need to go find a body shop. I need to go negotiate. I need to be without a car for a few days or get a loan or car that I'm not used to. Then I got to deal with all kinds of problems potentially from the job that was done. Maybe it wasn't done satisfactorily. It goes on and on and on. Just the frustration, just the feeling of coming out and seeing your property damaged is a very unsettling feeling. All of those things you can't put a price tag on. But yet the small amount that you pay for, if you've paid for it, oftentimes is enough because most people will say, okay, you've wronged me. I understand it was an accident, it wasn't intentional, stuff happens, you've covered it off, you've apologized, you've paid for it, the car is back to normal. Okay, there were other difficulties along the way, fine, comes with the territory. But know that you have an obligation to placate that individual and to right your wrong. It's not enough to just say sorry to that individual, and it's certainly not enough, not even to say sorry to them, but just to apologize to your creator because you felt bad about it. You'll never get atonement for it. You need to deal with the people who you interact with on a daily basis. But on the other hand, there's always the other side of the coin. If you do good for people, which you should be doing, and I'm sure you do, and you cause them to do good to others accordingly, there are no limits to your rewards. Now, the second part of that sentence is critically important. You've all heard of multi-level marketing. It's gotten a bad rap over the years. That's because it was run by people. When it's run by the creator of the world, multi-level marketing is the best way to get wealthy beyond your wildest expectations. You give that to corrupt individuals and they'll create a business model around it where only the people at the top make money. But they get the whole concept from Torah of multi-level marketing. In other words, if I've done something good to you and I've convinced you through my actions or my words that you should be doing the same, you should effectively pay it forward. The good that you are receiving from me, you should pay forward to other people. And you internalize that concept and you make real positive change in your life and begin to do the same thing, then not only do I get reward for the fact that I have done good to you, but all of the good that you do to other people, I get rewarded for. It's a very, very powerful concept because now my reward grows exponentially. When I was just doing it for myself, not worrying about where it goes beyond me and the individual I'm affecting, then I get reward for the small acts that I do around me, which are again immeasurable. But exponentially greater than that is when I've taught you and given you the tools to go out and pay it forward and do for other people, whether it's your spouse, whether it's your children, your parents, your community members, your coworkers. If I've built a company, an organization, and I am a boss of bosses, I am up on the chain of command, top of the food chain. There are multiple supervisors and bosses that work below me. And it's my job to educate and train them. And in my approach to my corporation, I want to inject only positivity and kindness, and I want to avoid cruelty at all costs. If that's who I am with them, that's one thing. But if I then incentivize them to be the same way with the subordinates below them, then I get reward for all of the kindness. Now think about this. Is the reward that I get for all the kindness, not only that I do, but that my subordinates do to their subordinates. If I get compensated for all that reward, do you really think that that reward is limited only to this world? It doesn't make any sense. Just by the nature of the approach to operating the corporation, the corporation wins because you have an environment of kindness. You have an environment that's merciful. You have an environment that gives people opportunities to continue to do good, to fix their past and to move forward in a positive way. When you do that, you've now created an entire corporate culture that is going to benefit everybody in that company, including you. You understand? So it's a double dip. That's the way it works. It's a double dip. We've said those words double dip many times throughout this podcast, because that's how God in his love for us runs the world. When he does good for you, he does really good. There's no such thing as just good. The good that comes from him, you will never lose. There is no downside. It's all upside. You win and then you win again. That's the relationship that we have with our creator. Why wouldn't you want to tap into that? I don't understand it. But listen to the way that humans are programmed, because it's very telling. The greatest test of a person of authority is the temptation to take advantage of his power over others and to act cruelly. This is programmed in our DNA. It's very, very sad, but it's a lesson. It's a test. How do we get over this test? First, you have to know that we have an innate desire to bring out the cruelty in us when we can. When we have an ability to rule over somebody, we automatically bring this out. Now, you should know this is a generality. A lot of people who've already worked on themselves, who've been learning Torah, who've been refining their character, they aren't like this anymore. But you have to work on yourself in order to get to this level. That's why the antidote is personal prayer, because that's the number one way to work on yourself. Those who have succeed. They're no longer trying to be cruel. That's no longer the first character trait that comes out of them when they're put in that position of power. But it says that every person harbors latent cruelty. And he or she derives sadistic enjoyment in using it. As long as a person lacks a position of authority, his cruelty is dormant. You don't know it, it stays silent. If you're never tested by being put in a position of authority, you can dream. You could think that you would respond in a wonderful way, in a kind and generous way, but you will never know until you're put in that position of authority. But as soon as he gains power over others, immediately he begins to fantasize that he's entitled to act any way he pleases. And his cruelty surfaces. This is the test of Amuna. Will you succumb to the sadistic enjoyment of being cruel to others or will you be merciful? Just as there are many cruel public officials, there are also many merciful ones who merit untold rewards, for the creator is merciful and he wants us to emulate him. Remember, we said guys, that the power of good is that much more than the power of evil. Good always wins. It might be in the short term that you see evil seemingly coming out on top, but it never ends that way. It always ends with truth prevailing. Just look at the noise in the world. Just look at what happens when you get billions of people who are arrogant and ignorant, sharing misinformation and disinformation, putting lies into the world, saying the opposite of reality, even though there are billions of them. And if they have anything, they have a voice and they are loud and they are obnoxious and they will do the things that nobody else will do to get attention. They are squeaky wheels and not only squeaky wheels, but they will do things to bring fear and terror into people's hearts in order to get their message across. And still, despite all that strength and all that power and all that volume, they cannot win. They simply cannot win. They can cause a lot of problems, they can make it very difficult for everybody, no question, but they will never win. Deep down, good always prevails. Sometimes it takes a while to get to the surface. But if we're constantly thinking that we need to emulate our creator, what is our creator like? We know that he's merciful, we know that he's kind. We know that he has all of these wonderful attributes, he's slow to anger, he's powerful, but yet slow to anger, he's patient, he has all these wonderful traits, and we have to be like him. You will never lose by being like your creator. You simply cannot lose. He is the creator who manages everything. He has dominion over everything in the universe, and those are his attributes. Then what does that tell you? That if you just start working on yourself to make sure that you emulate those attributes, you become just like him. Is there anything that can stop you? Is there anything that can harm you? The answer is clearly a resounding no. Have a wonderful day, my friends. And we'll chat tomorrow, two more days before Passover. Have an amazing day. Thank you for spending time with us on the Trust Factor Podcast. If you've heard something today that moved you, save this episode and share it with someone who might need to hear it. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss upcoming conversations that challenge, empower, and uplift. And if you're on social media, connect with us. Leave your thoughts, drop a quote that resonated with you. Hashtag the TrustFactor Podcast. Until next time, keep growing in your trust and keep living with purpose. I'm Jesse Revivo, and this has been the Trust Factor Podcast. Thanks for listening.