This is a podcast about Life, Leadership and finding the Balance between these two, and finding and staying with your Purpose in your life. Each time, a leader - new or more experienced - is interviewed, for us listeners to learn from and grow from. The host of this podcast is life coach David Dahlén D’Cruz. For more information go to https://lifeleadershipconnected.com/
In this short preview from my conversation with David Prosper — known as The Clarity Guy — we explore what he calls the “Default Loop”: the cycle of achievement without alignment.
David grew up in the projects of Fort Lauderdale, rose through college football and corporate success, collected awards and recognition… yet still felt empty inside.
In this powerful clip, he explains:
Why high achievers often feel directionless
The difference between living by default and living by design
How reacting vs. responding reveals whether you’re aligned
Why clarity is the real key to peace, purpose, and momentum
If you’re navigating a transition, questioning your next move, or sensing there must be “more” than the treadmill you’re on — this conversation is for you.
starter kit for Americans. It's like you go to college, you go to college, you get a good job, you retire and you buy a house and you have the American dream. Everyone can be successful. So that was the default loop I call like. People in life often put projections of how we're supposed to be. So as I was in college and after college, I was like, okay, I got this college degree. What do I do with it? So I get his job. And I started noticing like a lot of the workplaces that I was in, there were some great ones. There were also the majority, very challenging ones. I was like, this is not me. I'm not wired to be this way. And I would often ask my mother, like, 'why am I so different? Why am I so different?' Like I see leadership deficiencies. I'm like, okay, why are they leading this way? This is ineffective. And I started, when I would get hired to these places, they would often say, 'we want leaders who take initiative. We want people who are proactive'. I would do the exact same thing that they asked me for, but yet met with retaliation or even hostility when I would bring things up and say, 'hey, could we do this a little bit better?' It was like, 'no, no, no, this is the way it is. This is the way it is.' So when I started experiencing those things, I was like, why am I doing this? And I don't feel like I'm flourishing as a human first and as a worker second. So I started questioning the system and I realized I wasn't meant to be in the system. I was created to create a system. achieved a lot of accolades. I was top salesperson. I had all the awards. I have awards behind me. As far as like impacting the community. We've gotten awards. So it's just like I've achieved all these accolades my name edged in stone in the stadium my pictures all over. Being in different magazine. So I on the physical side on paper with a lot of high performers on paper I was successful but on the inside I was like 'this is meaningless like I'm thankful in the moment. Hey, I achieve these things top salesperson Growing in my leadership and influence from entry level all the way to like the middle management and senior management. I'm like, okay, I'm thankful for it. But at the same time, too, it didn't fill anything up inside me and I felt empty. I was in that loop myself because I believe what we're exposed to and immersed in, we start to embody. I started to embody that default loop on every year. I'm doing something that doesn't bring me joy. I'm doing something that I'm not using my giftings uh I'm not really living my purpose. I'm I'm trying to Trying to fit in a system in a place where I really don't fit in but it makes, um making a lot of money. So I'm like, okay, like this is the way life is supposed to be versus starting to design life. And that's the difference between, I believe, living a life by default and living a life by design. Default is I'm in the passenger seat of my life and whatever happens to me, I'm just accepting without questioning. Designing is like, what intentionally can I design and facilitate and cultivate that actually brings me joy? the signs and symptoms that you'll notice if you're living in a default loop is if you react more than respond and the difference between those two things, if somebody says something and you're quick to sit to have a rebuttal, that's a quick sign versus pause, reflect.'What did you mean by that?' So when someone's in that default loop, they're very reactive. Another thing, they're... When a default loop they're highly sensitive to whatever is happening in their external world so if politics are the thing that is driving and current events now they're feeling the emotions and they're being swayed by Everything that is happening around them versus being anchored and saying hold on. Wait a minute. What's happening here? There's two stories being told which one is trying to pull me even So and then the last step is of understanding the symptoms and the signals is if We're consuming more than we're creating. So when someone's in a default loop, they're constantly consuming things. They're scrolling. They're inputting inputting inputting versus what are they creating? Are they? Creating relationships that are helpful. Are they creating products systems teams? Products it all those... So once we're living in design, we're creating, but if we're living in default, we're typically consuming, complaining, comparing. But when we're in design, we're creating, collaborating, cultivating, and celebrating others. I believe that life is about learning and unlearning. We learn things in one season and maybe in the next season it doesn't doesn't help us so we have to unlearn it to learn something else to get us to that next place. So if we start embodying the 5C Model reflecting and assessing our capacity, our competency, our courage, our connection and our curiosity, I believe we'll start designing a life of clarity.
