S1 Episode 19- Jasmine Bias

*FAITH THROUGH THE JOURNEY*

This month we continue celebrating amazing autism moms and their journeys 

Join us  for a special TWO PART episode with Jasmine Bias as she shares all about her son’s journey and their family’s experiences navigating autism.

This heartfelt conversation includes great discussions about:

 Faith

 Family

 Autism services

 Advocacy & support

You won’t want to miss this inspiring and honest conversation  

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:09

Hi everyone, welcome back to mom's raising the spectrum. We're so excited to have you here with us today. We have another really special guest joining us. Another mom who brings such a beautiful and powerful perspective from the mom's perspective navigating this journey.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Yes, and what a wonderful uh guest we have today, my good friend Jasmine, that I've known from uh our church. So I'll pass it over to you, Jasmine. Give us a little introduction.

SPEAKER_00 0:44

Um hi, I'm Jasmine. Um, I have uh six kids, and uh my youngest is Micah, and he has autism. He's five.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

Well, thank you for joining us. Can you tell us a little bit about Micah?

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Um so Micah he is um, like I said, he's five, but he was diagnosed when he was two. Um, I never really recognized any signs at first. Um, I mean, he didn't hit his milestones when they were supposed to be hit, but I mean, I wasn't too worried because my oldest daughter, well, we're blended. So I have two um kiddos from a previous marriage that my husband adopted, and then Michael has two um from his previous marriage, and then we have two together, Micah and Jonah. There's the six. Yeah. And then um, but my oldest daughter, she didn't talk till she was three. And so it wasn't really like a later for a girl, right? It is, but she was my first, and I mean, to be honest, I wasn't truly worried about it because she like understood me, but she just I mean, she just didn't talk. And my mom said that my brother didn't talk till he was like almost three as well. And so I was just like, okay, I'm a new mom. It's not really um like a big concern for me. I mean, I figured she'll talk eventually, and she did. And she's I mean, she's no, I'm I'm not saying normal, but she's you know, she's she's typical. Um but so I didn't really worry too much about Micah at first, but then I started to just um get a little bit worried because he started he turned two, and it was just like he wouldn't pay attention to certain things, he was just like he wouldn't listen to as well, and his it was just hard to hold his attention on things, and so and plus Michael's brother his brother has what they call Asperger's back then, but yeah, it's a form of autism, but anyways, so I it being in the family, I was like, okay, well, it doesn't hurt to get him evaluated, and so he was evaluated in June of when he turned two, he turned two in April, and then he was evaluated in June. Um, and it was just kind of a I don't know, it's like you're you're shocked, but you're not shocked.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

Right, right, kind of like overwhelmed by it because you're yeah, you're like you like part of you is like, I know this could be true, but I kind of don't want it to be true, but what if it is and that's okay?

SPEAKER_00 3:40

And so it's just a mix of emotions, huh? Right. So, like that day I just kind of balled and it was just like, and it's kind of too, it's just overwhelming because it's like, here, he has autism, this is his level, we're gonna throw some paperwork at you, and you kind of just have to figure it out, like and yeah from there it was.

SPEAKER_01 3:59

I do so many mixed reviews of that. Of some places have like some people have gotten good support, and some it's just like here you go, now figure it out.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

Yeah, I mean they give you a list, they do give you a list, but it's like that's so it was overwhelming. Yeah, it's kind of like what do I do with this? Wow. So that was kind of how that went. And from there, it was just like trying to then I just started trying to talk to people, like everybody that I could like think of that their kid had autism, or you know, they had it, or like I just tried to start talking to people and figure out like what can I do? How do I go about it? What kind of sort resources should I do? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

So I feel like that's always the best. Like you when you hear it from like another uh person who is has a loved one on the spectrum and hearing stuff from them. I feel like for me, anywho, that seems like more helpful than hearing it from a professional. Because sometimes professionals can have like one-sided opinions.

SPEAKER_00 5:05

Right, right. And so that's where I get like that's how it started. Um I have a sister-in-law that her sister has a daughter with autism. So, and but her daughter, her daughter's really um she's really low functioning. And how old is she? She so she's Jonah's age. She she um she I think Jonah Jonah's seven. So and she's a month younger than Jonah. Oh, nice. Yeah. So they're like really close in age, and um and her daughter went to um ABA at Hope Ridge. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

Yeah, so like I started So you were kind of she they were a good resource.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

Yeah, so I just kind of started picking her brain. Like, do you like ABA? Like, is it something that you suggest? Um and then I just started trying to look for like ABAs. Yeah. And that was overwhelming in and of itself. Like what ABA is at this point.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

And I don't even know what if you're if you've never really heard it, like you've heard of it, but if you've never actually looked into it, it's all so like unfamiliar or yeah, yeah. It can be overwhelming.

SPEAKER_00 6:28

Oh, for sure. And then I just started looking at ones and it was just like, how is this any different than a daycare? Like, I was like, this doesn't, I mean, it just like it, like you said, it's just so overwhelming. You don't even know what decisions to make. And then I, you know, I talked to people from church, and then I was like, you know, what uh do you know anybody that goes to ABA? Like what ABA centers did they go to? Um, and um someone recommended ABC. And that was actually the first place that I went to.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

There was it me? I can't remember. It was Aricelli. Oh yeah, Ariceli, maybe because Aerically, I don't wonder Ariceli knew that Jackson was going to ABC.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

Maybe I don't I yeah, I don't know. She just said Action Behavior Center, and I was like, okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

And that was she she was working in the special needs room. She at that time she was doing a lot with Jackson in the special needs room. So I'm pretty sure she probably because her kids um didn't go through the ABA. Um, but you know, so her and I talked about like what that looks like, and so I think she really I helped her like understand what ABA is, but she's also very knowledgeable in this whole autism behavior health world. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:52

Yeah, okay. So that's where she, but yeah, she was a good resource as far as like talking to and and you know, like that. Um so ABC was the first one that I went to and the wait list was really long. I mean, they told me six months to a year. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

And I feel like that was pretty did you feel like that was pretty average at all the places you looked at or pretty much.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

Um I I I went to um I didn't go to a lot of them because I do at one and I was like, ugh, this is yucky. And then and then I got discouraged, and uh uh but ABC was the first one I went to and I really liked that one and I really wanted to go there, but I was like six months to a year, that seems like a long time. And I really prayed about it, and I was like, you know what, if God has this in, you know, in line for us, then he's gonna open that door. But I also was feeling pressured because everybody's like the the sooner you get him in to ABA, the sooner that early intervention is the best, and so like I just felt like I have to get it done right now. And so I went to another one, um, it was called Blue Sprague. Oh yeah, I wondered about them. Um, so I went there and they told me they could get them in like fairly soon. But the problem because so this was in August of that same year, they told me that they could get him in in September. And no, and not necessarily didn't happen. It's just like they kept pushing it back later, later, like because it was supposed to be early September, they kept pushing it back, and then they got him in late September and um it just they told me, Oh, we're gonna do half days. And yeah, they were like, We have to do half days because we don't have the staff for it. Ah, yeah, because I was like, normally they push for 40 hours a week, but yeah, for that much for his insurance and everything else, but then they were like, but we don't have the staff, and then they would call me and they'd be like, Oh, we don't have the staff to accommodate him for the half day. And I was just like, Oh my gosh, this is so much, and I just felt like it was so disregular, but then you know, I was like, I don't want to uproot him, and like I I just I didn't know what to do, and so I kind of just waited it out, and then um I actually got a call early October that ABC was gonna accept him, so uh that was like I was kind of torn too though, because I was like, I don't want to uproot him, like what should I do? But then I was like, my heart kept telling me that this wasn't right for him, and so I talked to a bunch of different people and I was like, what do you think I should do? And you know, it just God just kept laying it on my heart that I was I needed to go, and so he started like really early November of that year. Wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

Yeah. Isn't it crazy how like you know, one place can be so different than another or just not the right fit for your family, and God just takes you to where you go, and it that's a good example of us like trying to not listen to him, but then we're like, okay, now we clearly need to listen. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:23

Yeah, I mean, and now like at whenever it comes with Temica, like he is the one area of my life like that I do trust God with because uh he just has always been there for this whole journey with me. Um, you know, OT, speech, everybody that he um has in his life is just been prosperous for him. And I was just talking to his BCBA about this, about how she's like, you're so lucky. She's like, you have got so lucky all of your, you know, your therapists and everything else. And I said, It's not luck. That's all because he literally I've she has told me horror stories about like just therapists that have come in there, and um, either they don't know the kiddos very well, like they have to like go back and look at their notes about him, them. Oh, jeez. Or, you know, they have you know, therapists that go in there and like speech that they'll just sit them in front of the iPad the whole time. Yes. And so that's scary to me, and it's sad for me. Like, I I'm sad that they don't, you know, have that same experience that I do, because my experience really has been so positive. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:46

And they're blessed because yeah, there's some there's some terrible stories, but I think that you know, also goes to show, and also I feel like you would be a mom that if something wasn't going the right way, like you advocate and you're a great voice for him and be like, mm, this isn't, you know.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

Yeah, for sure. And I just I feel lucky like I feel blessed that I don't have to, like, yeah. It's always just been super just flowy for me, and you know, I've I haven't had stress about Micah.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

Yeah, that's wonderful. And you know, I had a question. So I I'm starting to hear more people like their kiddos getting diagnosed before three. I remember when Jackson was diagnosed, like they made us, it was like a common thing where we all had to wait till three because of that key like indicators, but I guess maybe it depends on the kiddo if like there's clear indicators or if they're like not sure and just kind of waiting to see if it would change at three. Like, what did your pediatrician or his pediatrician like say?

SPEAKER_00 13:53

Like I love my pediatrician because my pediatrician just he always just kind of says like you know him best. And so whenever I ask for anything, he's always just like, okay, I trust you. That's good. Yeah. Um, I mean, within reason. Right. But I'm I I don't usually go to the doctor very often, even with my kiddos. They they're pretty healthy. Um, my son, my oldest son does have um asthma. And dude every time that I'm like, hey, he's you know, not doing so good. Like, can you call this prescription? He's like, Yeah, I got you. Like, you don't have to come in. Like, I'm not gonna.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

There's another, there's another blessing to have a great pediatrician, too.

SPEAKER_00 14:41

He honestly, he's like, Hey, if this is what you think, like I got you, and I'll I I'll back you up. So that's but I mean, I have heard different stories from different people. I just I don't know. It's it's weird, it just must depend on the doctor and what kind of experience they have and hearing when they do like their things. I don't know, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

Yeah, it's just yeah, it's just so weird to hear, but you know, and and Jackson, you know, things have changed since Jackson was three, and you know, he's uh I think Micah and Kai are about the same age. So, you know, what three years things have changed since then. It's just crazy. And to think now what's really going on now is kids are getting diagnosed more younger. So and I have mixed feelings about it. So I'm like, I really want to learn more of why that's you know occurring, why they're getting diagnosed younger than three, right? Because you know, you the some, but like I said, maybe it's because some of them have clear indicators, you know.

SPEAKER_00 15:50

Yeah, well, I think that too, and like um maybe genetics. Um, you know, I I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

Yeah, that'd be interesting to learn, huh? For sure.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

Where did you um get your diagnosis from? Like, I don't know much about ABA, but I did go to ABC to get uh Kai's diagnosis.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

So I heard that they do those, but I didn't go to ABC. Um so my doctor referred me to another doctor in Scottsdale that did it.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

Oh wow. Was it a developmental pediatrician?

SPEAKER_00 16:26

It wasn't, no, she was a um a psychologist, I believe.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

Okay, yeah, psychologists, developmental pediatricians, and then like centers like that have like a psychologist or someone that they can do the diagnosis. Right.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

It was like a center that they did like different, because they did ADHD and other diagnoses too there.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

Wow. Well, what was that like? Did it was it because I remember when Jackson and MJ, I don't know if you've shared this. Like, is it a I remember Jackson's was like a two-day process. Like we went one day for a couple of hours and they like watched him and did you know their evaluations, and then we had to go back another day. Was that kind of the same experience for you two? No, it was all in one day. Oh, really? Was it a long day?

SPEAKER_00 17:13

No, it wasn't even that. It was a few yeah, it was a few hours. Oh wow, okay.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

Mine's was split up.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

Split up, yeah. It's just I'm so it's so crazy how everything's so different. But I think, you know, everywhere you go, uh they're gonna have different requirements of what they do and what they look for, or you know, maybe some are more like, oh, yep, that's clear. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

I think maybe like like ABC, since it's an actual like ABA center, they like maybe wanted more of an extensive one so that they can find like a full report and you know, so they can recommend certain therapy, you know, thing. Um, I know that when he went in for ABA and did his evaluation and then they, you know, that was more of an extensive type right situation. Yeah, same with Jackson.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

He went, we went to a developmental pediatrician, but it was still like a two-part thing. But I think it's because also like with Jackson, we couldn't get much like the it just it could be done in one day, but it was definitely like that's not gonna happen with him. Right, yeah. Trying to, he was already trying to escape the room several times.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

Oh, yeah. I think I did too. Yeah, he's I bet he's an escape artist.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

Yeah, oh yeah, that's something we'll have to talk a little bit more about. Uh, because we both have that struggle, and um Jackson's gotten better with age, and so I'm trying to I always try to give you encouragement, Jasmine, that you know, maybe when you know, as he gets older, because it was really, really hard when Jackson was five and six. But now that he's eight, he's not eloping as much, but it was definitely harder at his age.

SPEAKER_00 19:07

Yeah, yeah. I mean, at home it's not so bad anymore, but when we go places, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

Do you um I know we you probably noticed we take Jackson in a wagon wherever he goes because he knows to stay in there. Do you feel like stuff like that helps Micah or would he just jump right out of the wagon and go?

SPEAKER_00 19:28

So I got a wagon fold um because I needed something that he could strap him into. And so yeah, if I take him somewhere, I definitely take a wagon. Oh good. Okay, that's helpful. I need to strap him in.

SPEAKER_01 19:43

Yeah, yeah. They're just so full of joy and excitement. They want to explore the world, but you're like, no.

SPEAKER_00 19:51

Yeah, yeah, it's hard. Well, especially because he knows how to like open it now. Oh knows how to like push the button and make the button, the the harness come off. Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 20:02

Yeah, how does he do in the car seats?

SPEAKER_00 20:06

Um, he does okay. Um, he always takes the the front part off. Oh wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:14

I started scary too. What was that, MJ? I started doing that too. He thinks it's a game and it's that it's funny and it's not. But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:26

Yeah. I'm like, I've I'm glad Jackson doesn't do that, but I feel like he's starting to figure things out. I'm like, oh no, please don't. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 20:38

No, yeah. Micah doesn't, I I just got to the point where it's just like at least he has the bottom part on, and I can I mean, it's I know it's not as safe as I want it to be, but it's better than him getting out of it completely, right?

SPEAKER_01 20:55

Right.

SPEAKER_02 20:55

Yeah, like cut off the circulation.

SPEAKER_01 20:59

Like I've seen I've seen some like on social media of some people that have to get like special harnesses for the car seat because their kid can escape out of it. Yeah. Either maneuver themselves out or they figure out how to unbuckle everything. It's like, wow. I might have to get to that point. We'll see. Oh, like I hope not. I will be praying. Hopefully not. Uh so yeah, you talked a little bit about early signs. Um, what are some other things that you uh noticed that really made you go, okay, we need to go get him diagnosed?

SPEAKER_00 21:43

I think the biggest thing for me was, you know, he wasn't talking or even trying to communicate at all. Like, like I said, my daughter didn't talk to us, she was three, but she like she would communicate in other ways, like with her hands, like you know, like pointing and stuff yeah he didn't he didn't do any of that wow yeah there was no you know even dragging me to get what he wanted it was just yeah we're trying to predict what he wanted all the time time yeah he would he just get like sick cry and be upset when he needed something right yeah oh that's gonna be so hard and then you're playing a guessing game yeah for sure and then you know do you need this and waiting for him to grab something or if it's dying something he can grab how do you know you know people I don't always understand how hard it is like okay is your stomach upset are you in pa like yeah it's so hard the only way I ever knew that Micah was sick was either he had a fever or he just would like lay on the ground like and just not you know be lethargic but I that would that was the only way that I could ever tell if there was something wrong.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

Yeah yeah you just have to look for those body language signs when the kid is not running around and they're just laying down especially our boys female and did anyone else notice um any of those early signs?

SPEAKER_00 23:13

Um I think that um I had I had a uh sister-in-law that was really like adamant that I that I should definitely get him evaluated. Um because she had she had married um my brother in law and he had a son through a previous marriage that had just gotten diagnosed too but he was older when he got diagnosed. Wow so it it is it definitely is a family thing. Oh yeah he was like I really think that he had he definitely has it and I was kind of like no I don't want to I don't want to put a label on him like I don't want that I mean I don't I mean it's in the back of my head that this could be a possibility but I didn't definitely want to come to like full terms you know with it.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

Right. Yeah it's like we said it's a mix of emotions when you hear that and especially when you hear it from somebody else right out because then you're like okay they're validating the same thing that I'm thinking but yet that makes it more true and you're like oh and I don't think anybody else really kind of um I mean he was so young everybody was like oh maybe he'll just grow out of it you know and things like that. Always right especially that I do hear it so much.

SPEAKER_00 24:36

Yeah. So yeah I mean like I said I'm sure other people did notice some things but they were just you know didn't want to say anything or how was how's that process with your husband was he um kind of you know on the fence too about it or like how was that as a family? Um so my husband kind of just takes my lead when it comes to the kids and things like that.

SPEAKER_01 25:03

So it's it's more of you know oh you think that oh I trust you you're the mom so good husband good husband but they you know what same thing and and it's just kind of like we do we know them the best right I mean for like MJ's growing a baby right inside of her right now like they were in us so they're part of us and we just and that mom gut right that mom gut is a true thing. For sure yeah definitely or like we know something's going on and then um before uh like right when he got diagnosed you went straight to ABA did you do any like uh I can't remember if you've told me if he did like developmental preschool at all or um any speech in OT before ABA or just you went straight for it?

SPEAKER_00 26:00

So he was in the AZIP program. Um so he started actually like when he was like one and a half. Yeah and so he was already in that he was already getting OT in speech okay um through AZIP and um then we transitioned when he turned three we transitioned to outside services outside of AZIP.

SPEAKER_01 26:28

Wow okay and and remind me so like if we have listeners from other states AZIP is Arizona education early intervention early intervention uh yeah what's the P for program program yeah or no wait Arizona early intervention program I think I think so maybe yeah maybe I don't know I'd have to look at I know I was like I think it's program yeah and so did was that because when we were going through AZIP with Jackson getting those services it was during the lovely pandemic um and it was all virtual was uh the services he getting like at your home or did you go somewhere?

SPEAKER_00 27:16

Yeah so she she came into my house uh I'm trying to think COVID was two 2021 was 2020 and 2021 were the height of it yeah okay so I had mica in 2021 so it was kind of everything was getting starting to get back into normal yeah into home back back to things the way things originally were so uh we had so the way that AZIP works is they evaluate them and then um they kind of they pick one therapist to do all of like whatever you need and my main focus was speech at that time so I picked a speech therapist and she came and she stayed with him until she was three he was three. Oh wow that's good so you had it for quite a while that yeah she was very yeah very sweet I got she was really the blessing to me and I really loved I wanted to keep her on but then when he went to action behavior centers you couldn't keep her on or no she stayed with him until he was so he was she stayed all the way AZEP once or three they have they get discharged from that program. Um but the way it works is they get special contracts for doing the AZ that's right so they have they usually have a really high caseload especially when they they're part of that program. And so I tried to get her through my DDD to to stay on with him but she just her caseload was too high.

SPEAKER_02 28:54

Wow yeah that's a bummer the company that she works for though and I got a really good therapist through her through him that stayed until just a few months ago um she that's true and she she transitioned to schools so she moved but then her best friend is still still part of the company and so she transferred to him him her her wow that's amazing yeah see here you go again like you're you weren't kidding you really got all these blessings just lined up for him I do yep yeah wow so um let's see who you talked about yeah okay go ahead and ask the next question if you can elaborate a little bit more on it let's see so we know he's currently for a little bit more attending the ABA at um action behavior centers and how has that experience been for your family oh I love ABC ABC is so great for Micah um I've had my same BCBA since he was two and I absolutely love my BCBA she knows him so well she she um so her her son has autism her son is older he's an adult now but her son has autism and yeah for sure and I think that has been a big um asset for for me and for her because she knows you know this world she knows um resources she actually used to work for ASAX so she she's been like she's had just a plethora of knowledge and experience and it's really been so great and our meetings are just always I mean we talk like friends.

SPEAKER_00 30:56

Yeah that's not me and Jack's first BCBA where we're like oh wait we need to get back on topic we got so the family guidance meetings are really supposed to be now and we're like oh no no yeah yeah yeah same thing yeah yeah and she does she stays on topic but it's just like more of just I feel like I can tell her anything that's going on in my house. And I think it's actually good I mean I was I was talking to another mom and she's like I think I overshare in my in my um family guidance meetings and I'm like I think that's great. I think it's great for you to not only feel comfortable with her to tell her those things but to tell her like what is going on in my house.

SPEAKER_01 31:37

Yeah because then they need to know that explain that can explain a lot of why a child acts the way they do.

SPEAKER_00 31:44

Right also gives the BCBA like you know a guide to be like okay she might not be able to take this homework home and be like and implemented this at home. Yeah you know not realistic because you've got this this this and this going on or something yeah is that my house is wild and crazy and for me to do calming techniques and stuff for Micah is probably not a canal. Not when you have six kids just just things like that is just great and she's always been great and I I've had such a positive experience through my whole ABA um I even so she moved centers she we used to go to a center on 79th in uh Union Hills and she moved to 71st in Bell and I moved with her. Yeah that's even if she wasn't willing because she's a clinical director now even if she wasn't gonna be Micah's BCBA I was like I'm still wanted to be with her I'm still gonna follow you because you're you know Micah the best and if you know if you can even whisper in another BCBA's ear that this is what works for him then I'm I'm good with it.

SPEAKER_01 33:02

That's so amazing that uh because that the center the one you moved to was like new so it was easy for you to transition Micah over there which I remember you telling me about that and like wow that's so good. So glad that they did that for you and that they understood you know because I feel like not everyone would do that. They'd be like no we really need to get new kids over here but um they were actually pretty good about it.

SPEAKER_00 33:27

She just said like if we have the space we'll take him I mean and then um she's like but I don't know if he'll be on my caseload because I mean as a clinical director they still have to have yeah they still have to have a couple kiddos but they can't have like a full caseload. Case load like a BC when she told me she's like I'm he's gonna be mine and I was like yes yay that's so awesome. And he got to transition with his favorite RBT too so that's even better. It was it was a perfect transition. Um of course as soon like as soon as he started to get like comfortable there his RBT left and other clinic but it was just like yeah but it was good though it was it she stayed with him through the brunt of it so that was good.

SPEAKER_01 34:22

The change right yeah that's the hard part about um with ABA is that they you know we've talked about this before Jasmine our kids they get almost like attached you know and or we get attached too and I'm sure it goes the same for like like MJ's son Kai's right now he's gonna be transitioning from uh developmental preschool to kindergarten and so that fear of getting someone new like a new teacher a new therapist it's even harder on us I feel like because our kids are so special and it takes a special heart to educate them.

SPEAKER_00 35:02

And so the fear of change is just like ah how's my kid gonna do with this change you know I'm going through that right now with the whole like getting ready for kindergarten. I'm kind of like what do I well how like I mean I'm super excited for him. I really never thought that he would even go into kindergarten so these are all new things for me um but I'm I'm excited for him but we were just I was just talking to my BCBA about so my OT said she can't she can't take him on once he goes to school because she can't go during school hours. Yeah. So I was asking her I was like you know I think that probably he's gonna have so much change just going to school that he probably just doesn't need outside services because they do offer it at the school. So I mean it would just be a lot to take on at what time anyways that I think he'd be okay just not having outside services at that time.

SPEAKER_01 36:10

Right. So let's dip into services so or school so he is finishing up ABA and he's gonna start Arizona Autism Charter School in August um what made you kind of make that decision to uh start that now because he's been at ABA for um a couple of years now and you feel like it's time talk about what that decision process um I actually didn't I didn't even think that that would happen um but but God anyways um so during so in December they sent out this whole thing about insurance about Mercy care they're canceling for 80 yeah um and so I guess I was not super worried but I was like because he has a primary insurance ahead of Mercy care so whatever my insurance doesn't cover Mercery care covers.

SPEAKER_00 37:12

And so I wasn't super worried about I was like oh well we'll just cover whatever you know Blue Cross Bushield doesn't cover. Right but I mean still that's a lot and we have a big family so um I don't want to have to pay that expense but I don't have to so I was like you know what I'm just gonna throw it in the box and be like sign him up for open enrollment for uh ASACs. Um I honestly everybody everybody I talked to was like it's so hard to get in there it's all off of a lottery system so it's kind of like drawing names out of a hat and so I was kind of like okay this probably won't happen but I'm gonna do it. And so um I they emailed me in early March I believe it was and they said that they um they wanted him to come in for like a they do a tour and you get to see the the school and you get to talk to the teachers and the principal and so I got to do that and I thought it was super cool and I was super excited. I loved it. And then they're like we'll let we'll let you know they usually do the drawing they do I guess they do two drawings.

SPEAKER_01 38:30

Yeah they do one in like uh winter and then or like one in January or something like yeah they do it for like both semesters I think.

SPEAKER_00 38:39

So they do one at the end of March.

SPEAKER_01 38:41

There you go.

SPEAKER_00 38:42

And then they do one like around when school starts I think it is. Yeah. Yeah. So that and I was just like okay I'll wait and see and then um then I found out that Mercy Cared is covering for secondary. They won't cover for primary but they'll cover for secondary for ABA. So I was like oh okay well we'll just stay at ABA then. Yeah and and then shortly after I got the email that he got accepted to ASACs and I you know I prayed about it and I was like you know what if this is what God wants if this is what you want for us then open the door and if not close it. I mean it's it is I mean either way we're we'll be okay everything will be okay um but we're super excited um yay uh I'm like I'm I'm more nervous than he probably going on right now.

SPEAKER_01 39:31

Oh yeah we'll have to talk another day I'll kind of help you because you know Jackson just made that transition to his school and it was a tough first week but you know um it'll be so good for him.

SPEAKER_00 39:43

Yeah I'm super excited. I mean I even my BCBA was like you know this is the only school that I feel comfortable sending him to like at all public school I wouldn't feel comfortable sending him yeah my Jackson's BCBA agreed with that as well for Jackson and it's just so hard especially when they're nonverbal you know to go into a public school when you go to an autism school they definitely have more understanding and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 40:13

Now Arizona Autism do they allow outside speech in OT or do they have their own that you have to use?

SPEAKER_00 40:20

No so they it's all it's school it's a they get all of their funding through schooling so it's like they have their own um their own therapists in town. Yeah where I was kind of like oh what do I do because I really love my OT. She's a really she so patient with Micah and it took a while for them to build rapport but they she really is so patient with him and she's so caring and she works really well with him and I was like I really want to keep you on right and she's like I'm sorry but it's after school and she has she has young kids uh and so she's like I can't I can't do it and I was just like what do I do now?

SPEAKER_01 40:58

Yeah oh I know that's where we're at right now we're trying to find some and then we moved far so like no one wants to come out here so it's like oh yeah does he get he gets he gets at the school does he not? Yeah uh he gets speech note tea once a week but I still feel like he needs more than that you know so okay yeah that's the hard part about that transition with him going to school but then he's you know they're um seeing you know more kids and I don't know it's just you're gonna see uh I think a good a good growth with Micah too not that ABA didn't but you know ABA was a great first starter for them and you know as they're getting older um it's great for them to go into that school setting and start learning what school is like right and I think Micah is there intellectually like he's very smart I just he it's more of the behavior that we struggle with and even speech I mean he talks so much now like he is very he's very vocal now.

SPEAKER_00 42:02

Yeah it's not all functional right right but it is I mean he's starting to say I want oh and things like that. So that's been really really helpful. Um I I don't think any mom but our like us can like us moms understand what how important like yeah how how like your heart is so full when you hear I want or even or even just like yeah because Jackson can't get the I want but he can go like cheap bread this that and you're just like finally it's like I don't even know what you want. And so like that's that's been so good for us. And he and his speech therapist even said I can't wait for him to start school like he he is going to thrive and he is going to start talking like you never believe. Yeah so we're excited for that.

SPEAKER_01 43:03

It's gonna be rough first week or two but uh Jackson's been in his school for a month and now he's just you know doing so good but you know he'll do great he'll do great I'm excited just keep the faith right yeah yeah um so I know you're the one who really educated me a lot on ESA funding um how to utilize it how to apply for it all that stuff and so you were utilizing ESA funding while Jack or while Micah is at ABA. Talk a little bit about like what you were utilizing it for because um some people may not know that like it is for when your kid doesn't go to um school you can access this funding to help teach them at home or use the funding for the private school Because like you're going, Micah's gonna go to charter school, but Jackson goes to private school. So we're using mainly ESA for that, but then we can utilize it for other things. And you have taught me so much. So share a little bit about what you utilize it for for him.

SPEAKER_00 44:17

So we buy a lot of like um therapy tools here. Um I have trash pad and a trampoline and just like because Mike is just so active. He's just always going to sensory input, huh?

SPEAKER_01 44:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 44:31

He's constantly on the move and constantly. I mean, his his um his his uh preferences change like so frequently. Like he you think that he likes something and then he moves on to another thing. So it's like it's constantly like trying to figure out what I can get and what I can do to um occupy him and you know relieve that sensory um output that he needs. Um so I got I get like you know, we have a swing outside, um, we have trampoline, we have crash pad, we have just like a lot of things like that, just sensory stuff. We got iPad.

SPEAKER_01 45:15

Um I just bought Jackson a new uh AAC device because when we got through MercyCare, it's just not working out for him. And once you pick one, you can't get another. So I was like, oh, I can get one, you know, something light it was a little bit lighter weight. So it's just amazing what you can use those funds for that really are gonna help our kids.

SPEAKER_00 45:36

And you can use them for like swim lessons, um for like uh music therapy. Did you did you do um music therapy for Micah? I feel like you said you didn't do it for through like ESA funding because I didn't have it at the time, but you uh I did try it, it just wasn't a fixed thing. I mean, it wasn't necessarily that I didn't love music therapy, it was just I think that um her expectations of Micah were higher than what he was willing. Weren't realistic. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:11

So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:13

Yeah, it's pretty cool. All the stuff you can use it for, equine therapy, martial arts. Um we're gonna set up, we had a gentleman on our podcast, Ted, who does adaptive exercise. We're gonna start using him for Jackson to learn like hand-eye coordination. Um so individuals like that take ESA funding. It's it's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 46:34

For sure.

SPEAKER_00 46:34

That's awesome.

unknown 46:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:36

It definitely sounds like it's beneficial, but it sucks for the kids who do go to public school that it would still be beneficial for but that as well. They go to public school, they don't have access to any of that. So yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:54

Cause I say because uh Kai's gonna go to public school, so he won't have access to that, huh? Yeah, no, can he get access? Like some can he get some support with being with having the diagnosis, or you cannot be enrolled in public school at all.

SPEAKER_02 47:10

He can't be enrolled in public school at all, and he's been in it when the developmental preschool for like the last three years, and his meeting today is on whether or not he's gonna get his IEP for kindergarten. So it's like if he doesn't, then what do I do? Yeah, because I'm not just gonna send him out there to the wolves for me to get calls all the time for behaviorals and stuff. Yeah, yeah. It's just uh I'm like in the beginning stages of that, so it's like I don't think people realize how terrifying public school can be for our kiddos, you know.

SPEAKER_01 47:51

That's here in Arizona because you know, some states it could in you know be completely different, but here it's just because they're just so overwhelmed with the amount of kids, and uh well, yeah now Arizona Autism's right next to you, maybe because they're both five, right?

SPEAKER_02 48:09

Kai's five, they're both going to kidding six in September, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:14

Maybe maybe you can get them into Arizona Autism. Wouldn't that be great? Right around the corner from you.

SPEAKER_02 48:21

Yeah, but isn't it expensive though if you don't have like ESA or anything?

SPEAKER_01 48:25

No, it's a charter school, it's free.

SPEAKER_00 48:27

It's like it runs off a lottery system, so yeah, they basically just you go and you apply, and if they have an opening, they can slot they slot you in. Like yeah, it's completely random.

SPEAKER_01 48:40

So that's we tried we tried for like two or three years and we weren't getting selected. And I was getting so upset, and I was like, okay, what is God like he's got a plan, you know? And then we decided to move to Whitman and we're like, well, maybe it's good he didn't get in because that's still kind of far, but that might be our only option. And then we heard Victory at Autism Academy was opening one Sun City, and it just all worked out. So right? You just never know. But yeah, hey, Andre, it doesn't hurt to like get on the list and and if they call you up and say, hey, we have a spa open, and you don't have to take it, you can pass. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:21

I definitely want to go and tour or something and see what is because I only know public schools, he's been at the same school for since he's been in school. Yeah, so three. So yeah. The Peoria district.

SPEAKER_00 49:36

Hmm. Are you in the Peoria School District? Yeah, Peoria has some really good programs, they do, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 49:43

And they're the better districts for special needs.

SPEAKER_00 49:47

Yeah, for sure. I've heard I've heard horror stories about several of the districts in in Arizona and Peoria. I've heard good things. It's just finding the right schools. Like they're actually building, they're creating one by in my school, the Arise program.

SPEAKER_01 50:05

Oh, yeah. Wow, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 50:09

That's for this school year. They're starting that at my uh the our our homeschool. And that's one of the things that I was worried about with Micah, is they said when I did his IEP, um, because you have to have an IEP to do the ESA funding.

unknown 50:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:24

Or that or the Met evaluation. Right. And I did the IEP and they just basically I I asked him questions. I said, so if I don't do developmental preschool, um how do I do I can I do kindergarten? And they said, well, you can do it, but if you don't do developmental preschool, we can't build the IP for kindergarten. And so you'd basically just have to throw them in a kindergarten classroom and they'd stay there for a certain period of time so they can determine what kind of services that he would need. And you're like, that's that's not the that's not the way to go about it. That was scary for me, for teachers, for Micah. I was like, I that I don't feel comfortable with that. No, that does that's not gonna work.

unknown 51:12

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:14

Especially because my homeschool, because you have to go to your home school. Yeah, yeah. My homeschool didn't have uh barely any resources for um for uh special needs. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 51:27

I was lucky, like where we went for the homeschool uh for Jackson getting evaluated. I was like, if we were because I already knew we were moving, and so it's like if we were staying here, I'm like, I might have felt comfortable, you know. Um, but still some of some of the individuals I did, and then some of them I didn't. Like the speech therapist was great, the OT was great, but like the main special education teacher, I was like, he's not gonna do that. I don't know why you're at like, you know, you know how it is. Like sometimes you go through these evaluations, but they sometimes it cringes us because we're like, he's not gonna be able to do that, but they have to try in order to go, nope, he can't do that, you know. Yeah, and no one understands what it's like to go through these evaluations and IEPs and stuff. It is uh it's a mix of emotions. For sure. Yeah. You get angry at yourself, you get angry at them, you get frustrated with the situation, then you feel like it just know we all gotta remember we're not alone. We all go through this.

unknown 52:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:39

That our kids are not, you know, they just need extra help in different areas, not that they're less than or roller coaster, right?

SPEAKER_00 52:48

For sure. But that's what the IPs are for. I mean, it's supposed to be a help to the kids and it's supposed to aid them throughout their whole school experience. And it's a good it it is a good tool. It just sometimes it can be overwhelming for families, and and you know, our idea of what the kids might need is different than what they think they may need, and that's where a disconnect happens sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 53:16

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