S1 Episode 19- Jasmine Bias- Behind the scenes

Some behind the scene footage that got recorded- raw real talk. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Crying guys. Like I know you're extra emotional.

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Well, it's even going through the um the school stuff and just the meeting that I'm about to have, and it's like kind of it's nerve-wracking. You don't think about it till you like really have to think and talk about it, and it's like okay, so if he doesn't have his IEP, then yeah, you're like okay. Here we go again. And is he gonna have to suffer until I get him into a place? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:39

Are they just determining whether he needs an IEP? And he's just so and that's a hard thing with like kids like is that he can but I feel like if they're gonna spend a good amount of time with him, they'll see.

unknown 0:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

Is it because they I know that sometimes they if they don't the autism diagnosis is not like above like if he other he needs other certain like uh other things, like is that what I'm I don't know I don't know if they have diagnoses, but like sometimes when they do the IEPs, like they won't include autism for some reason if if he has like ADHD instead and they want to accentuate that versus the autism. Is that is that what you're struggling with?

SPEAKER_00 1:27

No, his is like the strictly the the autism, but because he went from being non-verbal at three to now he's like Einstein, yeah. Um yeah I feel like people are not gonna see he's not autistic enough. Exactly. And it's like he struggles with like the the communication and the social and stuff. Like just because he can understand chapter book and do math with you doesn't mean that he no longer needs his services, right?

SPEAKER_03 2:04

Right. Right, and that's you know, and that's the thing. Hopefully they will, you know, that's why people really need to understand that it's such a spectrum, like yeah, you know, just because he can do those things doesn't mean that he struggles in other areas or you know, um, so just yeah, you know, just really you're a good advocate for him.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Do you have you ever heard of like advocates for IEP? Is it like is it like a Facebook group or I they have like I I believe they have people that can help you, like actually like peep advocates that can help you talk to the people your evaluation. Yeah, like they they aid you in the like they're on your side. They're on your side and they want to help you get everything that you can out of the IEP.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Yeah. Yeah. I feel like with Kai's grandma because she um she's like worked in, she works for On Angel's Wings and Snore and Sky and stuff with all those um therapy programs and stuff. So she she knows she totally knows. Yeah. Maybe she can comes with me every time. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

Yeah, that's like a resource to have to have somebody just I I mean, I don't know. I I I mean my my B C BA has offered to go with me to my IEP meetings. Um, but I know I I don't think that you have a B C B I, but um I know that she was telling me that they have like advocate people that will come and they'll help you talk to the the school and they'll ex like they'll they're basically on your side and they want to help you get whatever you can out of your IEP.

SPEAKER_03 4:01

Yeah, yeah. And is today just like a brief meeting or it's like his evaluation?

SPEAKER_00 4:07

Uh he did his evaluation a couple months ago. So this is going to be like this is what we're determining, and this is what's gonna happen for next year.

SPEAKER_03 4:20

Yeah. So I remember getting that too. It's it's hard. And it was easier for us because it was like, yeah, that's nice. Like you can say all these things, but he's going to autism private school. So I was like, it doesn't matter what you can say all these things, but I wasn't like that.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

I mean, I was more like I wanted to know what I could do to get him in public school because I was more like, I want my all my kids to go to the same school. Like that's ultimately my goal is from all my kids to be able to go to the same school.

SPEAKER_03 4:49

Right.

SPEAKER_01 4:50

Um, I now I know that's not logical, but uh in the future I think it could happen.

SPEAKER_03 4:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Same, same here.

SPEAKER_03 4:57

You know, I've said that too with Jackson, like, especially out here, there's a the schools are much smaller out here in Whitman. That I'm like, maybe one day he can go to the public school here, but but he will need those IEPs probably forever. And then that's always a fear, too. Okay, how's that gonna happen? That transition gonna happen.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

So but you should definitely fight for fight. I mean, if they tell you something that you don't like, don't be uh stick up and say, Hey, I don't like that, and that's not accurate.

SPEAKER_03 5:26

Yeah, exactly. And you know, be like, I'm pregnant, I'm not in the mood for this, I don't need this.

SPEAKER_00 5:35

You just have a shirt on underneath this. Is my nope, not today shirt.

SPEAKER_03 5:40

So and uh Deb is such a great advocate too, and she knows her stuff, and I'm glad she's gonna be there to support you because um she'll stick. I know her. I've I've seen her, she will sit, she will stand up and say, Nope, that's not right. Like if you spend you know all this time with him, you'll see. Um like you just caught him on a good day, yeah. Yeah, so yeah, definitely speak up and say, um well, and that's kind of yeah, and they always ask you, like, on a worse day, can he do this? Yeah, did they ask you questions like that?

SPEAKER_00 6:21

Not on a worse day, it's more of like black and white, he either can do it 100% of the time or not. So it's it's so horrible. Like he failed his alt text the first time with me working for the state. Like it was Oh yeah, she worked for access before three points or something, and it was just a uh it was a huge thing.

SPEAKER_01 6:49

You're like, you don't want to go through that fight again. Very common. I've heard so many people say that they got they got denied for alt texts. Oh yeah, I like to take it like all the way that they said was just not the right word, you know, like what one answer was not the answer that you should have given, and and that's sad, it's disheartening.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

Yeah, especially if it's a spectrum, it's not like there's it's not black or white. Right. It's like, oh, we're here's a good day. Oh, we're not doing so hot today.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

Well, that's why like I got I got coached on what to say in my uh my alt text meetings. Like everyone's like, say what he gets on the worst day. Like you cannot do this. Like I feel like AZIP helped with that a lot too. Do you feel like you got help through AZIP? Um, it wasn't AZI, it was actually my sister-in-law's sister. Failed. She failed her first one.

SPEAKER_03 7:47

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Yeah. And her daughter really is like a level three autistic. She's does low functioning. Um, she's seven, still in diapers. Like she's very like low functioning. Yeah. Failed her meeting, and it was like it was very sad. And I was just like, Well, what do I say? And she's like, You said you could do on his like what he can't do on like his worst day. Like, and so everything was like basically like, no, he can't do that. No, no, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:23

Yeah, well, like Jasmine said, just really if they say something you don't agree with and be like, mm, like on a good day, maybe, you know, really. Um I don't know. I haven't really heard too. I haven't really heard about people saying like their IEPs didn't get approved. Like, can you get not approved for IEP?

SPEAKER_00 8:45

Like, I don't know if it's like not approved, just I guess when I'm in kindergarten, it's it's different because he's he doesn't have the same uh scores, I guess, as uh when he was in developmental preschool. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

So it's like all uh what you what resources she's going to get, like like a one-o, like a para like.

SPEAKER_00 9:17

Like he does OT and speech during school every day, and it's like if he doesn't have his IP, he's not gonna have that help, and they're literally probably just going to be like, You need to come get your child because they they don't want to deal with it, and they have other kids in the classroom, so they can't just focus on one person.

SPEAKER_01 9:45

Yeah. Um, I will do that. Like I I know certain schools, like, even though they don't have it necessarily in their IEP, they do have like a what they call is like a resource teacher that will like come and you know, if a kid's being rowdy or what you know they're being dysregulated or whatever, they'll have the the resource teacher come and take them out and you know, talk to them one-on-one or try to get them to calm down or whatever it is. Yeah, you know, just try to pull them away from the teacher so the teacher can still I know that's not you know necessarily heartbeat for you, but it's it's better than nothing.

SPEAKER_03 10:28

I mean, and to be honest, it's still scary because I don't think I shared this with either one of you, but um, even like Jackson being in the private school for autism, his classrooms are even smaller, but he got bit and scratched by another kid the other day. And they they didn't catch it, like they noticed they didn't see it happen. And I'm so surprised Jackson didn't like cry out or anything like that, but they went to go do an activity and they noticed it back here, and things can just happen like that, and they felt terrible, and they were just like, you know, we think we know who it is, and blah blah. But it's just like when you have kids with behaviors, it's just like anything can happen, and there's only so much they can do that it's not like ABA anymore, where it's the BT is with them 24-7. And that's scary, but it is scary. It's anywhere, any school, they're gonna need you know, need additional support for the kids uh that have behaviors. And that I bet that's your fear too. It's like, oh, you don't want to hear the term he's having a behavior, he's having a behavior, he's having a behavior.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

Yeah, like he's trying to figure things out, he's not just doing this out of spite.

SPEAKER_03 11:45

Like, yeah. It's I always say every behavior is a communication of something that they're struggling with.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

I mean, I uh I have uh uh neurotypical kids that I get calls from the school all the time. So I I understand. And it's I mean, they get calls for I get calls for the the stupidest things.

SPEAKER_00 12:09

They they literally would rather just not deal with it. Yeah. Well, let's be real, that's how teachers roll their eyes, let me call the parents, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

And I'm like, what do you want me to do? She's just I'm not there.

SPEAKER_02 12:24

What do you want me to do?

SPEAKER_01 12:25

Like, you don't want them to be on their cell phone? Well then, like, do you want me to taught like well and that's another thing is like okay, you have this rule, this law in Arizona where they're not supposed to be on their phones, they're not supposed to have their phones, it's supposed to be in their backpacks. Well, not all the teachers enforce it.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

Yeah. And now they have like iPads in the classrooms and all this stuff, like they can still access the same things.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

Yeah, like I'll have a teacher, one teacher that gets mad and she'll write my kid up for the cell phone, but then I have another teacher that won't just doesn't care. So there's like a media and like um my VCBA, her her roommate works for Peoria, like uh Kellis High School. And I guess she said that they these teachers just feel like the administration doesn't back them up, so they just let them have because there's no like the parents will c say like it's their kids' right to have the phone, and it's like, no, it's not. Yeah, no, yeah, I didn't either. I mean, but it's just like it's so hard to navigate. I wouldn't want to be a teacher today. I would not no creator.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

Nope, it's up there with the police officers. Absolutely not. No. But I I really get paid enough to no, they don't.

SPEAKER_01 13:52

I think they're eating as well, and I hope that you they give him the resources he needs it because it's it's it's daunting. It's this whole process is daunting. Whether they're high functioning or low functioning, it's all daunting.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

Yeah, it's like going through the same things but different at the same time because it's almost like, oh yeah, high functioning is a blessing because they're not like bedridden or something, but then it's not because people do not see what we're actually going through.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

Yeah, then they start masking their symptoms because they're trying, you know, and that gets overwhelming for them, and then it becomes like a dysregulation, and they come home and they start taking it out on you that they've had to mask all day.

SPEAKER_00 14:43

Yep. Yep. So yeah. Which is what I'm afraid of with him going to right now, his preschool for the past three years has been only three hours a day. Kindergarten's gonna be from like eight to three.

SPEAKER_03 14:58

So Kai's had it made, he gets to sleep in and shortly, and yeah, you're gonna be working on him this summer getting up earlier, hopefully.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

Uh, we've been trying to work on him sleeping in his own bed, and it's just not I've been there. Yeah, like we're gonna do that now. You need to sleep in your in your own.

SPEAKER_03 15:22

Well, now you're gonna have a a new baby, yeah. So there's gonna be all kinds of changes going on this summer.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

Yeah, it's gonna be uh it's like what's the word for it?

SPEAKER_03 15:36

Yeah, overwhelming. It's just overwhelming it's gonna be a mystery of how things are gonna go. Yes, when are you new?

SPEAKER_00 15:45

June 29th.

SPEAKER_03 15:46

Oh goodness, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

Kai thinks he's gonna come June 15th, but we'll see.

SPEAKER_03 15:52

Is he Kai said that?

SPEAKER_00 15:55

Yeah, Kai's literally said, Oh, he's gonna come June 15th. So far, he's been right about everything to do with babies, so he's been right on everything, so not just mine, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:07

Is he excited?

SPEAKER_00 16:09

Yeah, he is. He's already like, is he coming yet? And oh literally, he's every day and always feels to see if he's moving, and oh he's gonna be a good big brother.

SPEAKER_02 16:24

That Micah would Micah would like having a baby. He's he gets he gets mad when I hold babies. He tells me, baby down, baby down.

SPEAKER_03 16:33

Oh Jack's not that bad, but oh, I don't think Jack's gonna do well either.

SPEAKER_00 16:39

Now Kai loves babies, and then he gets along really well with adults. It's the kids his age and in between, where it's just a hot mess.

SPEAKER_02 16:50

Yeah. So I guess been doing imaginative play lately, so that's exciting.

SPEAKER_00 16:55

Yeah, with what?

SPEAKER_02 16:56

Baby dolls. With baby dolls, oh my gosh! Has babies and he likes he loves the baby. He brings it out and he feeds it. It's so cute.

SPEAKER_03 17:06

You should try and hold it and see what he does.

SPEAKER_02 17:09

I haven't tried that yet, but we'll see. Can mommy hold the baby? Just like can mommy hold the baby and see what he does. I don't know. That's scary.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

Boundaries, boundaries.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

So I haven't held a baby in a really long time.

SPEAKER_03 17:29

Well, there's there's some baby uh did you hear uh uh shelving uh in labor? I saw that on Facebook. Yeah. So there's some babies at church now. There's gonna be another one. There's a two new two baby summers grandbaby. Sabrina's adopted a baby, and now I saw Sabrina's baby on Sunday. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:52

So yeah, that's such a blessing for them.

SPEAKER_03 17:57

Uh Jackson one time seen some babies and he um he's not ever really interested. The only time he was ever really interested was this one little girl kind of looked like baby Moana, and then he was fixated. Other than that, he's just like, I get that. All right, dear. Well, we'll let you get to your point. Let us know how it goes. Um, and then I guess we'll let's just wear the same thing we wore today to make it look like it's one video. Perfectly fine with me. Perfectly fine. I know. I'm gonna get I'm gonna get into comfy clothes after this. I don't know why I threw on I just threw on a nice tank top, but I've got sweatpants on underneath on the bottom.

SPEAKER_00 18:44

Like I was thinking about it, but then I'm like, I just I don't have it in me. Yeah, it is what it is.

SPEAKER_03 18:50

Like you're yeah, we're all moms, we get it, right?

SPEAKER_00 18:55

Like it's majority a bun or ponytail day, anyways. So like don't try too hard, but every day, so yeah.