S1 Episode 19- Jasmine Bias: part two

The conversation with Jasmine Bias continues in Part Two of this powerful episode as she shares even more about her family’s journey, faith, and navigating autism services for Micah.

This episode is filled with heartfelt moments, encouragement, and honest conversations that so many parents will relate to ✨

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Alright. You also you're also a paid parent provider through DDD while being a stay-at-home mom.

SPEAKER_04 0:24

Right.

SPEAKER_00 0:25

Can you explain what that means for families who might not know?

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Um I guess I really, it's just more of your getting paid to basically do the same things that you always do, like take care of your kids. Um I guess it's it's more like I don't know how to explain it because it's just um it was more of like an added benefit for us. Like I didn't even know about it until another autism mom told me, you know, you can be getting paid to take care of Micah. And I'm like, at first I was like, oh, that feels like right? That feels kind of cringy. Like, what is that though? But it really does help because we are a one, you know, income household, and as things get more um expensive, it it really does help. Um right now with all the insurance things, it's crazy and it's kind of like unpredictable, but um I'm really just blessed to even have it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:37

It is. Um, and for those who are listening that don't know, like through DDD, our Arizona um program for individuals with disabilities, we as parents of a special need child uh can be a paid parent provider. And uh it's because our kiddos need so much extra help, and especially on the spectrum with teaching them how to do fundamental skills. Um so it's pretty neat that, you know, uh I think it started during the pandemic, didn't it?

SPEAKER_01 2:10

Right. So a lot of people were like losing their jobs or they had to stay at home. Um, and there was these kiddos that couldn't go to ABA or um clin, even daycares wouldn't them. And so it was kind of more to supplement families that needed um to take stay home and take care of their kids. Yeah. And even out there's some parents that I've talked to that they other providers won't take on their kids, right?

SPEAKER_03 2:44

Because it's so challenging they're challenging, or yeah, yeah. Or if you like or me in a rural area, you can't get somebody, you know. Yeah, there's so many factors that go into it.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Absolutely, and it's it's it's such a great tool. And when we were scared that we would lose it, um, I I could imagine what those families were going through, it was probably very yeah, very disheartening and and um overwhelming.

SPEAKER_03 3:16

Yeah, and all all three of us are paid parent providers, and it all looks a little different for each of us because our kids all have you know different needs, and um, you know, I work full-time. MJ, I think you work part-time, and Jasmine, you're stay-at-home mom. So it's really cool to see the different stages of life that we are in and how it still can help all three of us. Because, you know, I work full-time, but then there's times I have to uh clock out early because I'm so tired because Jackson didn't sleep last night, or you know, and so those things are so helpful. Um, you know, just because we take it takes so much effort and time for us to teach them those things. And I always like to say, and Jasmine, you'll you'll get this, uh, like the BCBA, when we would have uh my family guidance meetings with um ABA Center, I would utilize like our meetings to go over the goals that I have with being a paid parent provider. Um and so people listening, like some people don't understand what that means. Well, we have like goals for our kiddos that we have to do certain things to help them achieve those goals. Right. And so being with the ABA, they would help me with that and give me the tools I needed to accomplish those goals. So, you know, some people just think, oh, you're getting paid to take care of your kiddo.

SPEAKER_01 4:47

I'm like, it's more than that, right? It's a whole process. I think that's a misconception for a lot of people. Like, and it you're just getting paid to take care of a kid, but no, you have to go through all the certifications. Um you have to go through the trainings, all that. Yeah, and it's like you do have to document the things. Yeah, yeah. Hardest thing for me, I feel like it was just every time that we work on HAB goals. Um, I have to document every single thing that happened that time. And it's like, you don't have to do that as a parent. You're not causing like, oh, I yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:20

You're as a day-to-day parent of a neurotypical kid, you're not going, Oh, I did this, this, and this and this for him today. And how well did he do?

SPEAKER_01 5:30

Like, yeah, I think that was the biggest hurdle.

SPEAKER_03 5:34

My biggest hurdle is remembering to clock in and out, and I okay. So I know that we don't have to like clock in like every morning when we're doing something for him and then clock out and clock back in the evening. The agency I work with is like just you know, kind of pick and choose hours a week that you clock in. I have reminders on my phone. Oh, yeah, and I still forget to clock out and then it messes everything up.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

I do too. Okay, I'm not alone in this. I'm sure there's other parents that probably do the same.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Yeah, because we're we're mothering and yes, you know, we have to give ourselves grace. We literally are putting on an extra hat because when they're not in therapy, we have to continue that education.

SPEAKER_03 6:25

And then I feel like we are probably the ones that tell everybody else in the family, you know. Like, I feel like that's how it was with me. I'm like, okay, I tell my mom, my husband, my mother-in-law, my dad, okay, these are the things that we need to do to teach him these things. So we're teaching others as well. So yeah, dang right, we should get paid for all this.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

Like we're therapists, we're teaching.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

Um I'm always telling kids, I'm like, you guys gotta make him do this and this and this. And my kid, because my kids will just take over and they'll just be like, just give him what he wants.

SPEAKER_02 7:02

And I'm like, Yeah, yeah, work for it. Make him they don't get it. Yeah, and they're kids, which you know, understandable.

SPEAKER_01 7:11

But at the same time, like he's got they're since we have so many, they're always like stepping in before I can step in.

SPEAKER_03 7:19

And yeah, so you're like, I didn't even get a chance. And see, this is goes back to what we were saying, like talking to the BCBAs and telling about your getting more personal about your home situation because you have other kids that step in maybe before you can recorrect that behavior or something, you know.

SPEAKER_01 7:38

For sure.

SPEAKER_03 7:39

So it's important for everyone taking care of our kiddos to know what's going on at home so they can give us the tools we need to be successful. For sure. Absolutely. And so um this paid parent provider program, you know, you were mentioning as it as just a one-person income uh with your husband. How is this, you know, being paid? That's definitely probably helped your family, right? Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

With the economy the way it is, and you know, yeah, our grocery bill alone, it can be like two grand a month. I mean, we've got teenagers, we've got and Micah eats a lot.

SPEAKER_03 8:19

I think Micah eats growing boys eat you out of house and home. I now I know what my mom was saying about my brother. I get it.

SPEAKER_01 8:29

Right? That's a dead that's been just a big blessing for us to definitely have that extra income help with everyday stuff.

SPEAKER_03 8:39

Yes, we're running kids everywhere, you know.

SPEAKER_01 8:43

Yeah, we we were just talking, I was just talking to somebody about that the other day. Like next year we will have three separate schools that we're going to. So yeah, because Micah's going to another school. Yeah. I can't thankfully my kids go like literally like right down the block. But um, I my stepdaughter lives um on the other side of town. So we have to navigate that situation too. So it's and then when my other daughter was in high school, they went, you know, that was another ask another school. So, but she's she's 20 now, so we don't have she does her own writing. Yeah, she's all grown up now. Um, but on as far as tacking on to the parent pay provider, I think that the respite service is um one of my favorites that was offered to me with DDD. Yeah. Utilize that a lot. My my mother-in-law is my respite provider. I'll say same thing with you, MJ.

SPEAKER_03 9:47

Your mother-in-law, huh?

SPEAKER_00 9:49

She is not, but her best friend is.

SPEAKER_03 9:53

Oh, god, that's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 9:55

Because she she owns or works. Uh, she's the regional director for the company. She just stays in Gigi hat.

SPEAKER_03 10:08

My mother-in-law and my mom split being the respite care providers, but now um since my mother-in-law lives with us, she can't technically can't be the respite care provider because can't be someone in your own home. So my mom, my mom took that on fully, and you know, she loves it. And right, it's it's just so helpful, you know, so we can get things done or go do things for ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

And so both of my older boys are in baseball, so that was my biggest thing this this season is we were constantly every day we were at the baseball field. So it was like she was here, you know, taking him and because he won't you can't bring him.

SPEAKER_03 10:53

He will not do good at the baseball field, right? Right. And that's another thing too. People don't always understand. It's like we can't always bring our kids to things because they don't understand or they don't want to sit still and watch something, or you know, so I can imagine you know, having other children trying to be there for them, but then you have your child on the spectrum that's challenging and it pulls you away. So it's such a big help.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

It was such a blessing. I mean, I last season um I had to stay home, or my husband had to stay home, so we didn't we would switch off. So I didn't get to like every game, but I feel like almost every game this season. So that was good.

SPEAKER_03 11:38

Yeah, I'm super excited. And it's it's it almost is like it helps your other kids too, because then they don't feel like okay, mom can pay attention to me too, because I bet that's a challenge. Um, is maybe they feel like he gets more of your attention because he has more needs, and so I can't imagine what that's like.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

And I'm like, no, he's not my favorite, he just requires a lot more, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:10

Yeah, and the younger ones probably have a hard time understanding that, huh?

SPEAKER_01 12:14

Um, not I mean they all have a under like a hard time with that, but at the same time, I mean, I have a couple kiddos that really just kind of embrace him and really just understand like him in general, and so they're pretty good about it. Um, but I mean all of them have their moments where they Which is not, which is understandable, right? Yeah, they um and this helps me so that I, you know, grandma can take him while we go to the movies because he won't sit through a movie. Nope.

unknown 12:47

Nope.

SPEAKER_01 12:48

Or just go somewhere and have coffee or whatever we're gonna do. So yeah helps.

SPEAKER_03 12:54

Yeah. Do you uh do you feel like you maybe have her like come in with you guys to things so he can kind of be a part of it, but then she's there to help out? Or do you think that or does like Mike if you're in that situation, Micah needs you and only you?

SPEAKER_01 13:12

No, yeah. See, Micah, I mean, he he will go to Michael and he'll go to the other kids, but mostly he comes to me. Yeah, and I'm the one that usually gets them to calm down or you know, yeah, it's so hard because yeah, when we go places, it's like other people want to try and help, but they just want mom. Yeah, that's mostly what it is. And so it's it's more of like I like it to just be us that way. I don't have like my attention is not completely divided.

SPEAKER_03 13:43

Yeah, they can you can still give them your unind univided, undivided attention and which they deserve too. You know, each kid deserves their own time with mom. Yeah. All right. Well, we could go on and on about being paid parent providers and stuff. There's all this, you know, we don't know what's gonna happen. Things can are most likely gonna change again, and it'll be interesting to see what happens with this, if they're really gonna implement this like assessment tool. Um, I went to uh the Autism Society's uh mom's brunch, and I was uh I found out some moms were getting paid a lot more in HAB than I was, and their child is higher functioning. So I'm like, how the heck does that happen?

SPEAKER_01 14:42

I think it depends on the company.

SPEAKER_03 14:44

The company if the it's a whoever you're using as your well, no, because it's the service coordinator approved gives you approved or how many hours you're approved, right? So somehow they got like 30 hours of have, and I'm like, how when he goes into it.

SPEAKER_00 15:02

Yeah, I thought it was for everyone it got.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

No, I think it's based on what your goals are, like how many you are have um how ugh, I'm sorry. How how many minutes it takes you for things? Yeah, and how like um you can talk to your um DDD coordinator and and try to like implement more goals. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:27

I'm like, how the heck I'm thinking, how the heck did you get away with that? Because they're in like they're in school. Like that doesn't, you know, that doesn't to me that doesn't seem right. Right. You know, do I want a little bit more than what I've got? Yeah, is 30 necessary? No, let's be real. Like when they're in school full time, yeah. But I was just like, wow, but I think stuff like that is all gonna change when they really finalize and figure out this dang assessment tool because it's really I think it's gonna really look at everybody and see if they're really getting more than they really should, you know. So I just hope they figure it out and it's used in a good way to really find the ones that maybe are getting a little too much that don't need it, and then the ones that need desperately need those hours are really getting it and not losing it. So tough. I I was saying at the brunch, I said, but this whole like assessment tool when it first trying to relaunch in October, it had some weird things in there. I'm like, it said for like seven, like for HAB, if they were seven and older, they were losing hours.

SPEAKER_00 16:38

If they and I was like lost a lot.

SPEAKER_03 16:41

I was like, that makes no sense. Because if my son is seven and he's not potty trained because of his disability, he shouldn't lose hours, he should get hours.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

Like it was backwards. Well, I think it's because it was it's supposed to be like for kids, because usually as they mature, they're they're less um lack of a better word, needy. Yeah, yeah. They implement that is necessarily think I think it is case by case basis. So it is, I mean, based off of what your son is doing at that time.

SPEAKER_03 17:16

So maybe you could get more hours because he is it was just the way the wordings of everything, I was just like, this makes no sense. So hopefully, like it isn't black or white.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

Like I was talking to my DVD coordinator and she was telling me, like, back before COVID, you couldn't get any like anything if they were under 13.

SPEAKER_03 17:38

Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy how now I feel like, and also some people probably take advantage of it, but then also it's like we are so lucky that like we have this, and people are coming here from other states for it. And it's like, shh, uh that I'm like, no, like, yeah. Sorry to the moms in other states, but it's like because of that, now we don't have the funding, and now the people who live here who've lived here for years are getting affected by it because we may lose it because there's not enough money, so it's like yeah, it's just it's such a tough, tough subject and topic, and you know, it'll be interesting to see.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

You um your your um Marwan, your you share your hours with your do you share your hours with your ex?

SPEAKER_00 18:33

No, it's just me. Just you, okay. Oh, good just me, but it went from 40 down to 30 total, and there's like attendant care is just the rules are so strict, especially once he turned five and those new laws or whatever they policies they put into place kind of like eliminated a lot of stuff for them. So it's kind of tricky as to what like you can and can't do, even though there are things that he can't do even though he is this age, like he still needs help with bathing and stuff, but I can't like walk in and use it for that.

SPEAKER_03 19:25

So oh yeah, because attendant care is like yeah, because and then that could be considered a hag goal is grooming and bathing and teaching him how to be independent, but you can't get paid attendant care to physically do it for him. But you can utilize it as hab. I think attendant care is a lot of like someone who has cerebral palsy and physically can't do it, and the mom or the parent has to do it for them, kind of thing. And I know like we get attendant care supervision for when Jackson doesn't sleep at night, but now they in October they implemented this new rule. You can't clock in after 10 p.m.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

Oh, I know, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:05

So I asked them, I was like, well, how does that work for me? Yeah. So I just like kind of clock in throughout the week and try to remember set my timer and be like, okay, he was awake for four hours. I gotta clock in for four hours during the day.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

Like, yeah, yeah, that's hard. Yeah, he's definitely still awake at 10 p.m. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:32

Micah's usually awake past 10.

SPEAKER_03 20:34

So are you guys? Oh, well, see, there's a there's there's the opposite side of what I go through. Like Jackson will go to bed at like nine o'clock, just fine. And then you guys have yours that don't. Well then Jackson wakes up in the middle of the night.

SPEAKER_01 20:49

So it's just so crazy how our kiddos have different he will go to sleep early if he doesn't fall asleep. So sometimes he'll fall asleep like on the way home, and my husband won't wake him up. And it doesn't matter if it's five minutes or 30 minutes, he's up until 11, 12 o'clock at night.

SPEAKER_00 21:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:15

Do you get paid attendant care as well for that? Or yeah. Yeah, that's good.

SPEAKER_00 21:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:23

Oh, all right. Well, we could um we could go on and on about paid parent provider. Um, so you talked a little bit about uh, you know, being a blended family and uh your other kiddos. Uh so share a little bit more about that dynamic and how uh, you know, if there's like struggles uh with being a blended family and having an autistic son, the bonuses. I know you said some, you know, kind of just hop in and take care of him and know what to do. Tell us about the Relationships with Micah?

SPEAKER_01 22:02

Um, I think they all really kind of um baby Micah because he is the baby. Yeah. Kind of like they're all just overprotective and they all just want his attention. Um, but there are sides where they feel like we can't do certain things because of Micah. And I feel like we try our hardest to um do everything that we possibly can so they have the experience as kids. Um, I mean, we've been to Disneyland, we've been to SeaWorld, we've been to California multiple times. Yeah, all together as one big thing. As a family, absolutely. Um, and it's just me and Michael just tag teaming, and you know, one of us are with Micah at all times, and then you know, we try to do the big kid things too. And I think And there's such a big age gap too, from the oldest to Micah, right? Yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah. I think at first, at first I didn't really want to tell them all that he had autism, and it wasn't because I was ashamed of it or I was, you know, anything like that. It was just kind of like more of like, let me find out find out like what this means and what this is gonna look like and um how this is gonna affect our family, and um, and then I just kind of wanted to keep it, you know, under wraps for just a while, just so that we could me and Mike figure it out as parents first, huh? The idea of it, and then that way, you know, they can eventually um, but of course they find out once he goes to ABA and they're like, Oh, this isn't school. Um, but I mean, for the most part, I feel like all of them have kind of um embraced Micah, and um I have a couple that are just like super overprotective of him. And I mean, my oldest daughter, she got in trouble at school for for sticking up for him, and um, and of course, I wasn't gonna punish her for it. I was gonna say that's hard. Yeah, it was kind of like you can't do that, but go addie. But I'm like I said, it's just it it's um it's one of those things where you try your hardest to make everybody comfortable and um try to think keep things as even as possible. But it is, I mean us being 50-50, it's hard to have that sometimes. It's just it it is it's hard. Being hard in and of itself, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:52

Do they um do they spend like when you said 50-50, like sometimes with uh you guys and then 50% of the time with their other parents?

SPEAKER_01 25:01

Right. So um my oldest daughter, she lives with us full-time now. Um, she moved in with us when she turned 18. But for the majority, we've been together for 10 years. Um, and majority of that time, it was um uh it's called a five-two schedule. So we two days one week, and then five days another week.

SPEAKER_03 25:21

Gotcha. Yeah. Does do you feel like Micah has a hard time understanding like why they come and go, or do you think he's just kind of uh not really even noticing it, or if it's not me, if it's not me, he doesn't really care.

SPEAKER_01 25:41

It if it's that's the truth, especially at that age, you know. Yeah, I mean, um, my other kids, especially Jonah, he really doesn't kind of get it sometimes, and he's the one that like mostly is like why? Like uninterstandable. Yeah. When is Zoe coming back? And you know, like that. But yeah, my older kids, they they've been so Zoe and m my son Kieran are the same age, and then Addy's only a year older. So they have always and I came into Zoe's life when she was two.

SPEAKER_03 26:16

Oh, so you yeah, so you're basically been there most of her life, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:20

They they all kind of just stuck together as a pack and then they're used, they're used to the back and forth.

SPEAKER_03 26:27

Yeah, yeah. Well, MJ's about to, you know, with this baby, have a blended family, so it's so nice that she has someone like you that can you know she can relate to with what that dynamic can look like.

unknown 26:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

It yeah, I mean, when I first got into this, um I was really like heads-on. Like I was like, oh, I'm a mom, I could do this, like it's no big deal. It'll just be like adding a couple more on. But I really bit off more than I could do. I definitely did.

SPEAKER_02 27:01

Um I'm exhausted just listening to you sometimes talk about like I don't know how you do it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:07

So I I love those girls, like they're my own. Um it's it's just very like I don't I don't know how to explain it unless you're kind of in the situation. Like it's it's like you have to love them like your own, but they're but no, that there's that boundary, right? Yeah, it's gonna be a hard balance. It is, it for sure is because I mean a lot of the times I want to step over that line and be like, they're mine too. Yeah, oh yeah. So, but I mean, for the most part though, they've they really have been bonus and they're they're here in my heart to stay.

SPEAKER_03 27:53

So wow, that's wonderful. But it's can't be easy, and you know, they just that's one thing I like to say about funded families is there's just so much extra love around, right?

SPEAKER_01 28:06

Just the fine-toothing stuff that you have to get used to. I bet. But for the most part, I mean, we're we get along well.

SPEAKER_03 28:15

Me and mom get along well, so I mean that's the whole, you know, it's like you guys all gotta get along, right, for the sake of the kids, otherwise, yeah, it can be challenging. I'm sure it's probably not easy at times when you have different viewpoints on things.

SPEAKER_01 28:32

So um and I couldn't imagine um sharing custody like custody with a autistic kiddo, yeah, a spectrum, because I'm sure that's probably really difficult with them loving schedules and uh routine and having to constantly change that routine. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:56

And I think I think MJ in one of our first episodes, they were talking about how you know implementing the same, like kind of what I said earlier, like you learn these strategies from the therapist and the resources of what to do, and then I can't, and then she was explaining how you know, then you gotta try and hopefully pray that they're doing the same things too in that house.

SPEAKER_00 29:18

So yeah, you never truly know, and it's not like you can say anything, so yeah. It's tricky.

SPEAKER_01 29:30

Yeah, I know just having like we have, I mean, we have the same morals and stuff, but at the same time, we have differ a little like a little different dynamics at both of our houses. So even that is um that can be a little frustrating sometimes. So I think that that would be hard if you especially you had a kid on the spectrum that really just didn't understand and and um get get dysregulated a lot.

SPEAKER_03 29:59

Yeah. And you know, my uh uh Kai is just he's a great, great kid. So I you know, I don't feel I don't see like, you know, um any for me outside looking in like, oh, it's not obvious that he comes from like a blended family. You know what I mean? So props to you guys because you guys are it seemed like you guys are doing a great job. Because you know, sometimes you can tell when a kid is from they say a broken home. I don't like that word. I don't like that word either.

SPEAKER_01 30:32

I know a blended family or I'm not a big step person, I don't like that.

SPEAKER_00 30:38

Yeah, yeah. We try to like make it to where it's like you never know, the smallest things affect the child, and then there's sometimes you don't even know what's affecting the child. So if we can just all be cordial, you know, do things together every once in a while, show up to birthdays, just yeah, that's probably important.

SPEAKER_03 31:03

Yeah, yeah. How do our how are like birthdays, you know, um with your uh your step kids, your stepkids, like is it all together separate? How does that look like as um a family?

SPEAKER_01 31:17

We just have our separate, we have it separate. Yeah, our family stuff. Like we and I try to make it so that it's on our weekend or she makes it on her weekend. Um, stepping on anybody's toes. Right. They have their special moment, and then you guys have your special moment with them. Yeah. So yeah. We have like a really big family in our family, but like outside of our family too. So like aunts and uncles and stuff like that, too. Um, her family's a little bit smaller, so they have like their own little thing, like a smaller thing, and then when we she has a big party with us where she'll invite her friends and stuff like that. So that's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 31:58

Right. Uh, what are some things that you all enjoy doing together?

SPEAKER_03 32:06

When you're not going to Disneyland or Call Disney.

SPEAKER_01 32:15

Um, we are a pretty active family, so we're always, you know, going somewhere, doing something. Um uh we like to go to the park, we like to um go camping. Um, we have a camp, we have an RV. Um, so we like to go places we're gonna go to Minnesota this year. Ooh, fun! Um, so we we're just always constantly on the move. We like to keep them moving because they're got so much energy. Um, we go just walk around places, carnivals, things like that.

SPEAKER_03 32:53

And how does that look with Micah on those um adventures uh like camping and things like that? Is it um extra challenging? Because I know we talked a little bit about this, that he's an eloper. Yeah. Um, so like Jackson was and Jack still is, but how does that work? Or how does that look like when you guys are out doing those things?

SPEAKER_01 33:18

Camping, he actually doesn't like go very far. Wow.

SPEAKER_03 33:23

And you would think, because I know you told me the story where he like hopped over someone's fence one time or something like that. And I'm like, I feel like camping, he would just Jackson would be gone.

SPEAKER_01 33:35

Jackson, I mean, I think when he elopes from the house, he has like a goal in mind, like that he knows where he's gonna go. Because we have a park that's literally at the end of the house. Oh, okay. And so that's where he usually goes if he elopes. Yeah. But like when we go camping, I mean unknown. Yeah, like he just kind of stays there or he he um since he was three, he's known how to ride a dirt bike. Hmm. So Micah is really smart and he's really like he's very coordinated.

SPEAKER_03 34:08

You have to come out here to our desert and Whitman and we'll have a day where you guys can romp around.

SPEAKER_01 34:14

So that's I mean, it's a little challenging because he will literally take off on that thing, and I have to chase after him, and I'm usually doing it on foot. So you gotta get yourself one too, girl. I know, right? That's a little challenging, but I mean, for the most part, camping is usually not too bad for us. Uh oh, that's awesome. Uh, but other outings, it can be, I mean, a little difficult. Um, but I mean, as he gets older and as he matures, his elopement has gotten down. Um, even his behaviors have gone down. Yeah. And it will continue.

SPEAKER_03 34:52

You know, I noticed that like I was mentioning at five, Jackson, it was hard, and now his elopement's definitely getting better, and we're weaning him off that wagon.

unknown 35:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:02

And I think it just comes with age and growing up and learning the world, right?

SPEAKER_01 35:07

Right. And it's mostly like if he wants to do something, he wants to do something. And so that that can be challenging. Um, but like I said, for the most part, as he gets older, it's gotten a lot better.

SPEAKER_03 35:20

Yeah. My gosh. So I just I just put two and two together. They're thinking back at, and let me know if you feel this way, both of you. I remember seeing pictures of Jackson when he was a bait or video when he was a baby, and he was crawling and he was so determined to get to something. And it was like, he's just like crawling, like trying to get like, and I was like, gosh, he's I have a video going, you're determined. And now I'm like, he is still like that.

SPEAKER_00 35:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:51

Did Micah do stuff like that when he was a baby where he was just determined? Um always been that way for him. No, not really. No, kind of just started growing, started developing later.

SPEAKER_01 36:03

When he started walking, yeah, like it was like he knew where he wanted to go and he was gonna find a way to get to it. He's like, oh, these things? This is what it does. Yeah, yeah. And he's just so smart and he figures stuff out so easily. And it's just like I'm constantly having to be on my toes to figure out new ways to keep him inside my house.

SPEAKER_03 36:28

When he's inside your house, is he like getting into stuff? Because like Jackson's now learned how to turn on the shower and he's constantly wanting, you know.

SPEAKER_01 36:35

So do you feel like he doesn't yeah, he used to. He used to he because he is a sensory seeker, so he's like he used to like play with things and he does get into like lotion. He likes to play with lotion. Makes a mess. Yeah. Oh man. Um, he loves to throw stuff in our pool. So Ross and we're talking in the pool. My husband is constantly frustrated because he's so he's our pool cleaner. And he's on there with the net, just getting things out. Yeah, he's constantly having, and our we're afraid that the rocks are gonna get stuck in the vacuum. And so and he, I don't we we took all the rocks out of the backyard. I don't know how he finds them. I I really don't. But he finds them everything.

SPEAKER_02 37:25

Well, uh, they're so smart, and they will figure if they want something, they'll find it.

SPEAKER_01 37:32

Yeah, you laugh about it, and I mean that's and that's all you can really do because yeah, it's just every day. Well, and it was I think last year it was like every day he'd come home from ABA, and I was like, he's constantly into something like water, uh anything that he could get into. You're like, aren't you tired from ABA all day? I'm like, where do you come up with all this energy? Because I'm literally like exhausted by the time my head hits the pillow, it's I'm lights out.

SPEAKER_03 38:05

Yeah, constantly, especially and then as you know, they're figuring things out, like they're figuring out how to turn this on, turn that on, get into this, get into that, climb up here, climb up there, and you're like, Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 38:20

And then they get heavier and bigger, so it's like to get them to stop to do something, it takes a lot more out of you when they're little, it's just like okay.

SPEAKER_01 38:30

Yeah, no, yeah. Mike, Micah's big for his age too, so it's like he's a big boy. Yeah, so he pretty much rivals me in strength right now. Yeah, does he like any sports? Do you feel like he's gonna play any sports or he's not really into like anything? Um, I mean, he sees because my boys are baseball players, he's catch all like playing outside and playing, like, and he he sees them do it and he knows what they're doing. It's just more of he's not really too interested in playing with them. Jackson, same thing. Yeah, he's more just like he wants to be around them. He does a lot of like parallel play. Um, but he does not, he doesn't really care to play with them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:19

Have you ever I know um MJ has Kai playing T-ball? Do you think like something like him like hitting some like a T-ball? I used to have one of those things at home where you have it and you can hit it. He doesn't care Jackson didn't either. I thought he would because he liked watching baseball on TV. Nope, didn't care.

SPEAKER_00 39:40

Love sports outside.

SPEAKER_03 39:45

He likes he likes all those sports.

SPEAKER_00 39:47

Yeah, we're gonna try soccer next. I think soccer will be more fast paced for him. Yeah, it was just not much going on, and so he'd be there like throwing grass and yeah, he's like, I can't sit here and wait.

SPEAKER_03 40:03

I was gonna say that's probably a hard sport for any autistic individual because you have to sit there and wait.

SPEAKER_01 40:10

It's for neurotypical too. Like, there's kids on Jonah's team that literally just stand out there and they're just up in the air looking around. Like, hey, get in the game. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:25

So like if it's not first base, there's not much going on.

SPEAKER_01 40:29

So my son's a catcher, and so he's he and if he's not catching, he's he's like that. He's like he's like all over the place, like, oh, what's going on, guys?

SPEAKER_02 40:41

Yeah, because you can only sit there and watch for so long, I feel like.

SPEAKER_03 40:47

Yeah. All right, well, let's see. Um what are some other challenges that your family faces uh because of Micah's autism that we haven't maybe talked about? I mean you feel like disciplining is a challenge, like having that, like maybe your kids don't understand that maybe you have to, I don't want to say discipline, but you know, like teach him in a different way. Do you feel like they have a hard time understanding that?

SPEAKER_01 41:23

I kind of treat all of my kids pretty much the same as far as discipline. Um, Micah's is just, I mean, hit I mean, because I I spank my kids. Um, and Micah, I will spank him if it's something that like I know it's it's really bad. But most of the time he doesn't even care if I do it. So it's kind of have to come up with different ways. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:50

Uh that's such a hard balance for us, you know, to find ways to teach them no, you don't do that, you know.

SPEAKER_01 42:00

Um, but my all my yeah, all my kids struggle with that. I mean, they all kind of think that I treat them all differently. So I bet.

SPEAKER_03 42:13

I bet I can't imagine. I used to think that about like just thinking about my brother growing up, you know. I always thought, you know, it was compared to your sibling and what is going on with them and their and the parents.

SPEAKER_01 42:26

So I'm just thinking, God, I can't imagine how it is with all of them and then having an individual on the spectrum in the midst. I think they all kind of understand though, because they know that um I have to, I mean, I they all have different things that I have to like different ways I have to discipline them.

SPEAKER_04 42:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:45

My stepdaughter, I'm not allowed to, you know, do certain things with her, so sure her discipline looks a little different.

SPEAKER_02 42:52

Yeah. They all probably look a little different.

SPEAKER_01 42:58

Um strengths and stuff like that. So it's kind of like I have to think of different ways to kind of like what motivates them. And if that motivates them, okay, well, I'm gonna take that away until you can do what you're supposed to be doing. So yeah, it's kind of like a it's a dance. I bet I cannot imagine.

SPEAKER_00 43:23

Oh yeah, yeah. Like, okay, well, we're done with this.

SPEAKER_01 43:27

Like I'm trying to figure out how to do that on one of my TVs. I can't figure out how to do it.

SPEAKER_00 43:34

Because I've noticed when it comes to like the electronics, just the behaviorals and the attitude is just way worse. So I'm like, we're definitely limiting this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:51

There's times where Jackson will get very frustrated, and he'll like, if he's watching something and it's not doing what he's doing, and I'm trying to help him, and then he gets. Very upset. I just go, okay, we're all done with this then. No, you know. We gotta take a break from that. We can you can have it later. It's definitely not easy.

SPEAKER_01 44:13

Yeah. So I mean, and that's out for all of my kids are like that. Like I have to find like the electronics is a big thing. That's a big one for every single one of them. Micah's the only one that I don't really limit electronics on because it's not like he really. I mean, he likes his iPad, but it's not something that he would even oh wow. He would take yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:38

Wow. That's a first. I haven't really heard of, you know, um an autistic new visual not be like glued to the different, he's a different kid. For sure. For sure. All right. Well, we're gonna move on to some other topics because we're almost done. Um, let's talk a little bit about um our faith. And uh you and I, uh, Jasmine, we go to church together and it looks so different for both of our kiddos. Like sometimes Jackson participates in like the special needs classroom we have. Sometimes he participates in worship, but it looks a little different for Micah. Tell us a little bit about um like how that goes for your family.

SPEAKER_01 45:31

So Micah has been in the nursery since he was one, and he still stays in the nursery. They're supposed to come out when they're three, I think. Yeah. But they kind of just make a special accommodation for him because is it Michelle that's still in there? Or no, she's in yeah, she's great. Um, she they and even Christina, she's like the the dorser. She she kind of is on board with it too, just because he likes to be in there and um and it just made it's easier for us. I mean, he he went through certain periods where he did not want to go at all, and that was hard. Um just because I didn't want to have to force him. Um, but I really I knew it was important for us all to go. Yeah. So it's uh it's a balance most of the time.

SPEAKER_03 46:25

Sometimes I feel like, you know, it's hard to even go because of his autism. Sometimes like I don't know what today like depends on how he sleeps the night before or how they wake up. Like, am I gonna are we even gonna make it through today? Like, you know, it's just so hard because sometimes you just want to go so bad, but then you're like, oh, it's gonna be a challenge for him today. I just don't have the energy. Do you feel that way too?

SPEAKER_01 46:52

Oh yeah. And um, like if I I know if I know based off of like what how he's he wakes up in the morning, like and also like when they don't have nursery service, like I know that I'm not gonna be able to go. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:12

Because it's he's not gonna sit through a service, you know, just say and he he doesn't even go in at all, right, to the worship. Yeah, I have the problem of Jackson loves it in there so much that I'm sure you've seen me run around the worship center with them.

SPEAKER_01 47:31

And I would love if he would even do that, but I would be afraid that he'd like rip something off the wall or go go hit somebody or just know what he would do, but I would just be afraid that he was gonna do something.

SPEAKER_03 47:44

I I don't I don't think I have to worry about that, but he definitely tries to go up into the studio the sound booth and he definitely tries to uh go to where we got baptized and see if there's water in there.

SPEAKER_01 47:57

Oh Michael would be swimming in there. I I swear he probably would. Yeah, luckily they don't have water in it when it's not baptism time, but he always goes there to check.

SPEAKER_03 48:07

Does he? Oh, that's so cute. And then he's so loud, but he's like, and our pastor, Pastor Steve, he just he knows Jackson and that he's just loud and but it's joyful, you know, he's happy, but there's times where like sometimes I do have to pull him out of worship early because he's just being too disruptive because he's just so I love it, I don't care. I'll I'll keep because because you get it, not everyone does, and so I don't want it to be completely disruptive of other people um in worshiping and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 48:41

So that's my two. Like, I don't want to disrupt anybody's time with you know, with God. And I know it's not necessarily I care about their opinions, it's more of like I want them to be able to get the experience that they they need out of it. Yeah, we're respectful of their their time, right? And I do a lot of like online um services, like where I watch different preachers and and services online, so that's good. Get that extra little bit of food for spirit that I need.

SPEAKER_03 49:13

Yeah, yeah. And luckily, like ours is live streamed. MJ, it's CC she goes to CCV. Is it live streamed? So if you feel like for some reason you and Kai can't go, that you're able to get your your service in.

SPEAKER_00 49:28

They do have it live streamed, but it's also recorded and put up put on YouTube. Yes. Nice. We go Monday nights, so like a part of his routine. School, we pick him up from dad's, then we go for him to see his church friends, and then we get mod pizza. Like he just knows exactly.

SPEAKER_03 49:53

So you guys don't go Sunday mornings.

SPEAKER_00 49:56

Oh no, it would be just too hard with his dad on the weekends, but I'll catch up on Sundays when he does go with his dad, it's like 11, so it's still not really, really early. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:12

Do they have a special needs program there?

SPEAKER_00 50:14

They do. He he loves it there. You can literally drop them off, and they have so many people in there for individual care, and it's it's amazing. So you get that time to yourself to be able to take in the word and and they'll text you if they like if something goes on, but is that the one in surprise? I go to the Peoria one, but um Yeah, that's like 80 83rd and like uh Happy Valley, 67th and Happy Valley. Or 60's happy.

SPEAKER_01 50:52

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:54

It's it's nice. And it's at 6 30, so it's that's cool.

SPEAKER_01 51:00

I don't know that anybody had Monday night service.

SPEAKER_00 51:03

Yeah, yeah, it's like you should come Mother's Day's coming.

SPEAKER_03 51:07

Yeah, I'm having surgery the 11th, otherwise I would. But yeah, maybe maybe I'll try and bring Jackson in that way.

SPEAKER_00 51:17

Yeah, for sure. And he's been going since he was a baby, so like they all it's not too far from us.

SPEAKER_03 51:27

I wouldn't imagine we could just take the 303. So well, Jasmine, if you ever want to give it a try, we could try together.

SPEAKER_01 51:34

Yeah, I do, I would love to, yeah. Yeah, for I know that Micah's gonna want to transition, or they're gonna want to transition Micah out of the nursery.

unknown 51:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:46

So um, I think that I I'm looking at different churches just for that aspect alone.

SPEAKER_03 51:53

Um, so and that's one thing, you know, and we could uh I'm sure Josmine and I have talked about this before. It's just, you know, uh it's a little little disheartening that like you have a special needs room, but it's not what it could be, you know. And so we kind of wish it was a little bit more like it tried to be, and now it just feels like a babysitting kind of room, and that's uh I hate to say it, but the other reason why sometimes I don't take them, um, because I want him to, and it's hard because he wasn't able to learn anything before, but um so it's just it's hard, and it's for a small church, it's even harder to implement.

SPEAKER_01 52:37

Well, that's and then my older kids are kind of getting like you know, not interested anymore. Um, I mean, because there's not a lot of kids in the older class either. So it's like I mean, getting everybody to be motivated to go to church is really I can't imagine.

SPEAKER_00 52:54

Like, well, come to CCV, you know, there are plenty, plenty of kids.

SPEAKER_01 53:01

Like there's so many. My nephew went to the CCB in surprise, and he really loved it. He's older now, I mean, but he went all throughout high school and he loved I'm sure that one's closer to me than the other one, but it'd be cool for Jackson to see a familiar kiddo, you know. And I'm sure different too, so yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:24

Yeah, they use like a picture system too, and have a schedule and they have their own worship and they like group them off, and they have their elopers, and it's just it's a they're their own clan. So they definitely they learn a lot. Kai, because he's so advanced, is the designated Bible verse reader, so cute. I love it. Oh, they end up using the same Bible that we have at home.

SPEAKER_03 54:00

So I'm like oh, that's good. That makes it even easier, right?

SPEAKER_00 54:06

For sure. Because you have all these different versions, and yeah, and the one that they use has a lot of pictures, and it's simple kids, yes, simplifies it enough, but it's not too simplified.

SPEAKER_03 54:24

So I think it was last year or something. I remember Jackson said, and he was just copying me, but still he said Jesus, and I was just like, it melted my heart, you know. I think he was just because I was like, Oh, that's Jesus. Maybe I was watching The Chosen or something. He was like looking at it, and I go, Yeah, Jackson, that's Jesus. And I think he copied it, but it was just him just echoing, but still I'm like, oh.

SPEAKER_00 54:51

Yeah, for sure. Um what improvements would you like to see in the churches to better support families with special needs?

SPEAKER_01 55:02

Um, I just think a lot more education would probably be beneficial. I mean, if you don't have a kiddo that has, you know, any kind of special needs, it's kind of hard to relate to them and understand what their needs are. And um, I think education would be a big, big um asset. I know that remember, I don't know if you were there, but when um Joni and friends came to our church and they just um did like a whole little presentation, like I think it would be good for the church as a whole to see, yeah, like and experience. And I think that that definitely any church could benefit from something even like that, just a service where you're like, hey, this is you know what we do, and this is what you know we represent and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_03 55:57

So I think that would even be and we made a connection um with uh someone at Joni and Friends uh at the Easter event that we had a table at. And so I've you know got a card and I'm hoping to either get her on the podcast or you know, and that's definitely maybe we can some talk to them about is you know, maybe they maybe they do. They probably reach out to churches unless if they wait for churches to reach out to them. But I agree.

SPEAKER_00 56:25

Um the head of the special needs ministry at CCV can come on too.

SPEAKER_03 56:31

Yeah, that'd be really cool for other for other church, big churches like that to kind of be like, hey, these are some things that we are doing that are successful. And if you're wanting to learn more about, you know what I mean? Because it is, it's educations. Most most places, you know, maybe don't know, or I hate to say it, they think just throwing a uh a retired teacher in one of those classrooms.

SPEAKER_00 56:56

That's not yeah, no, there's one process that you have to go through to even be a volunteer. Like I was a kids coach for the special needs ministry, so it's it's a full, wonderful experience. And we have like 17 locations and and counting, so yeah, yeah, yeah, everywhere.

SPEAKER_03 57:20

Yeah, I know they they've come to a few, like that's at chicken and pickle and stuff, and had a table and really talked about their special needs programs.

SPEAKER_00 57:27

So special needs camps coming up in June, actually. That's right. I'll send you the info.

SPEAKER_03 57:36

Yeah, because Jackson's gonna be doing the summer program at school. So I don't is it during the day? Um, it's actually from 5 30 to 7. Yes, and Jasmine Reun's not having vacation Bible school this year.

SPEAKER_01 57:52

I that I I don't know if they had it last year. I they did. Jackson participated for the first time last time. Oh, then it was the year before that that they didn't have it.

SPEAKER_03 58:01

Maybe they're doing it every other year. Maybe I don't but yeah, I would love to get Jackson to go there. That'd be awesome, yeah. Yeah, because he experienced vacation Bible school and he didn't really he wasn't able to sit in the classrooms, but like he loved, you know, the dances and stuff, and just for him to be there around the other kids was a great experience. Yeah, for sure. Like in Danielle at our church, he was like, Come, you know, stay with him, and then when he's ready to go, if he's here for an hour, he's here for an hour. If not, then that's all right. Yeah, and I remember he drank out of a cup for the first time while there because he's was watching another kid do it, and I was just like, Okay, he needs to be around other kids, you know, to really learn. So that's awesome. Yeah. Um, so how do you how has your faith helped you navigate motherhood while raising uh a kid on the spectrum? You're like, do you have two hours? I can go on.

SPEAKER_01 59:03

No, I mean, he literally God has literally just been with me through this whole journey. Like I would not, I mean, I would not be where I am today without him. He has been my my comforter, my resource, my my provider. I mean, everything, and it's so crazy because this is one area of my life that I have given to him, and it has been prosperous all throughout. Um, I know there are other areas in my life where I I don't want to relinquish control yet, and that's hard and I struggle. Um, but this is that he just has been with me every step of the way, and I am so extremely blessed because of it.

SPEAKER_03 59:55

Amen. Yeah, it's like you almost kind of have to give it all to the Lord because it's like otherwise you go crazy.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:03

And uh I yeah, I mean from the outside looking in, I'm sure it probably looks chaotic.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:11

Um organized chaos, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:15

Organized chaos. Um, but that's funny. He has been with me and he continues to be with me, and I am so just I know that God has a plan and he's using this so that I can help other people and m Micah's Micah's story can be used. Yes, amen.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:43

And I almost I I hate to say this, but I I feel empathy for um those who are not uh having a full relationship with God, and you know, it's like I almost like if you can just build that relationship with him, you know, it will help you in so many ways through this journey with your kids on the spectrum. So it's like we're blessed to have that, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:13

It hurts my heart to hear people tell me like it's such a stress, and I'm hard I'm like I'm like I'm having a hard time every single day. And it really just it really hurts my heart that they have to struggle, and I um I can imagine how God feels. I mean the the stories that I hear and the um heartbreak that I hear, it just it really overwhelms me. And I mean, I feel almost guilty that my life is so my my life, my experience is so different.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:51

I I know, I do too, because I feel like we have our struggles, but there's some that have even more intense struggles with their kiddo. And I just can't, yeah. I can't, I when people say to me, How do you do it? And I'm like, there's other moms that have to handle their child beating them up every day because they're just got such strong behaviors. Yeah, I can't imagine. I I pray for them all the time because when I'm going through a hard moment with Jackson and then his meltdown calms down, I think I think about those others and I'm like, gosh, I can't imagine.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:31

Yeah, I mean, I if I see something or I hear something, I always I I try to stop and pray for them because I just I don't know, it makes me sad.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:42

Yeah, and all that's all we can really do, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:45

Is just continue to pray and thank him for the things that he's doing in our lives, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:51

Even if we can't see it, it doesn't mean it's not happening.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:57

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:58

All right. Well, kind of talking about how you feel like God has a purpose and you know, Micah's story or you know, his experience and what you share in him, uh, we're gonna lead into like advocacy and uh things in the community. I'll go ahead and let you, we'll just kind of flip around, and Jay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:17

Yeah. Uh so what changes would you like to see in the autism community that we haven't talked about yet?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:25

Um, I think a big thing is for a lopers to have more access to parks. That's a big thing for me. I mean, Micah loves going to the park. I loathe going to the park. Because you're just probably chasing him the whole time, huh? That's what I do the entire time. And I'm always worried, like, and it's so hard too when you have other kids. Yeah. You're trying to make sure they're all safe. Is all over the place, he's all over the place, and so you're just constantly like, okay, I want a park that is closed off. And it, I mean, it's it's so crazy to me that there's so many parks in the state of Arizona, and there's some that are adaptive certified with adaptive equipment, but not for instance.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:17

But there's no fence. Yeah, it's like open to everything and anything.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:21

And the roads are right there, like yeah. So and that is a big that is one of my biggest things is I I I think that our communities all I mean, one in every I mean, it doesn't even have to be all over, just I mean, a couple parks throughout the valley to have a West Valley one, a central one, an East Valley one, you know. Because we have to go to like jump parks and stuff for him to get all of his energy out, and it's like okay, but that's expensive. Yeah, it adds up. Yeah, exactly. So that's one of my biggest things um that I'd like to see. And I'd like to see, like, um, I mean, I've just I've witnessed recently like other special needs parents being mean to other special needs parents. I know, I feel like I'm seeing that more and more, and I'm a little frustrated with that.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:21

I agree. I don't judging each other or telling them they're doing something not the right way, and it's or my kid is a level three and yours is and it's just like what does that matter? Uh again, I don't know if you've heard me say this before in other episodes. I despise this whole level crap, in my opinion. I do too. Uh we shouldn't be putting our kids into level categories, it's a spectrum.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:48

Right. Like labeling a label.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:51

Exactly. But we special needs parents should not be applying our children based off of their level and Think their level should be, or even what their personality is. It's just to me. We should be united in this journey.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:10

That was the whole point. I feel like as a like special needs community, we were trying to get us all together and support each other. And now it's starting to be segregated again.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:23

When it takes the whole village and we all have different experiences and we can all learn something from each other. Like the last thing we need is for the negativity. It's more of like community and how can I help? And I'm just here for you. You would think there would be more of that out there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:46

And vice versa, not just with autism, but other disabilities too. Like we shouldn't be like, oh, you know, Down syndrome, cerebral palsy, autism. Like they should all we should all feel uh empathy for each other. And what uh you know, what a down syndrome, a kid with Down syndrome is not going to go through the same thing as a kid with autism. They do have some things that they share the challenges, but we got to respect those different challenges we all face. Absolutely. I agree. Well, well said, those are definitely some things, and you know, I know there's a splash pad that Jackson's school took them to on a field trip that was fenced in.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:26

Um is this the one with the big fire truck?

SPEAKER_03 1:07:29

I don't know. That one's the one in surprise. I don't know if that one's fenced in, but it's like Rio something over here in some city. Yes. Oh, really? Yeah, that splash pads fenced in. Um, but you know, like you said, there isn't really a park. And I know we've talked about, you know, maybe when I don't have a whole bunch on my plate, but or maybe like the three of us, or we can connect with the autism society and see how we can get the city officials to do something about it, you know. That'd be really cool to see. At least, at least maybe like surprise. I feel like I mean Mesa and the East Valley, they're a certified city of you know, of autism. So I wonder if they even have one, but I feel like surprise is very and Glendale's starting to get there. I don't know about Peoria, MJ. You're very familiar with Peoria.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:24

I feel like they're really starting to uh promote and and implement that they're becoming more aware of autism and being more um the PD there, autism certified, and the library also is I'm actually on a mission to make Peoria the second certified autism city.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:45

See, then maybe we can get a park put in there too. Yeah, let's do a double whammy.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:51

Yeah, and it's not take anything, they call us champions, and we just go to businesses in all the categories and ask if they would like to be certified through autism and take those steps. And once we get as many businesses and organizations in the certain categories, then that's what qualifies to be autism certified.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:16

Yeah, be cool, so cool. And Peoria is a good location for people from Glendale, surprise to kind of go to. It's a good middle ground for I think area for the West Valley.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:28

Peoria is weird, it's a weird shape, yeah. Yeah, like all right, we're gonna hit everybody, like yeah, yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:38

Okay, let's see. Um, well, you kind of answered the other two questions, so we will just kind of go with our ending.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:49

All right, let's see. If you could give one message of encouragement to a parent who's just starting their autism journey, what would it be?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:01

That one's a hard one. Um it's not pray. I mean, that is a big thing that has helped me and is given me throughout this whole journey. And don't be discouraged because it it doesn't always feel like the world's gonna end. Yeah. It doesn't always feel like that. I mean, there are so many blessings to this journey that we have to stop and look at, but um, I know somebody told me one time, like, and it it really kind of hit me like their milestones don't look like your other kids' milestones, but the journey is a little bit longer and a little bit drawn out, and so it makes it that much more rewarding. Oh, yeah, well put.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:54

So I like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:56

Like moral of the story, we're all on the journey.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:59

Yeah, just looks a little different, right? Our routes look a little bit different.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:04

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:05

I know I get excited at his like his milestones because I'm like, yay, we waited so long for this. Yes, it's like an extra celebration, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:11:16

Rewarding in a way, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:18

Like Jackson's eight, not potty trained, so it's like we have these little milestones that they've helped, you know, us like steps to take to get there. And every time he progresses to the next step, it's like you know, not proof, it's literal proof.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:38

Yeah what you're doing is working, it's paying off.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:42

Yeah. Before he left ABA, his BCBA set me up with like wrote everything down, like, okay, once he's mastered this, go to this. And so he's at that point now where like he did it this morning. It took a little, sometimes it takes a little bit more. And it's not a hundred percent, but we're getting there where I could be somewhere in the house and he's got a full diaper, and sometimes he takes it off on his own. Sometimes we have to tell him, but he will take it to the bathroom, throw it away, and then I used to have to follow him and then kind of I would phase out, kind of like where I was standing for him to hand me in the other one. I can be in another room now, and he can bring it to me. So it's like those little milestones were just like, yes, you know, and just he loves the praise, and you know, I don't I used to try to reward him with like candy, but it's like he doesn't care about that. He's just like, eh, okay, thanks, but he really loves the praise, you know. Yeah. Do you feel like Micah and and Kai like when they're you know accomplish something? Do you reward them with something or just praise? Like, what do they prefer?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:54

It depends on what it is. Ah fair, yeah, it could be one or it could be the other. If you have something that he truly likes recently, candy canes.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:09

Oh then not Christmas time, but okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:13

I know now. I'm like, okay, we're gonna Amazon, what do we got?

SPEAKER_03 1:13:16

Like, yeah, yeah, you can't find the candy canes in store.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:20

Yes, yes. But then a lot of the times he wants you to say, like, the good job, and you did it.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:27

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:28

So it's it really just depends on what it is. What it is, yeah. Yeah, how about Mike? Sometimes he just doesn't care. He's just like, oh thanks.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:38

Thanks. I doesn't care about things. I mean, no, I'm he's just like, okay, whatever. He does like it when you're like, yay, Micah, like he gets he sees you happy, and that makes him happy.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:52

I feel like I feel like I could tell that with him.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:55

Yeah, but he doesn't, and then that's I mean, it's refreshing. I was telling somebody the other day, it's so refreshing with Micah. Like, he doesn't care about like getting stuff or what stuff he gets. Like, he's more of like he's just happy to be here.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:11

Yeah. Oh. That's what our Jackson is, except for when it comes to toy cars.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:16

Okay, that's the challenge, is anywhere he wants that car, and he doesn't understand.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:22

Micah's his puppets, he likes his puppets right now. Puppets? Yeah. Oh, like cloth ones. He has like a whole bunch of them and he loves them. Does he like Sesame Street, or does he not realize that that's a puppet? No, he doesn't.

unknown 1:14:38

No.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:40

They just like to make him talk, like no, he doesn't even play with them. He just likes to hug them and have them with him. And he knows how many he has and which ones are missing. And oh yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:53

He's taking the head count.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:54

Yeah, Todd Jackson is with his cars. All right. Um, what's one thing you wish more people understood about raising a child on the autism spectrum?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:11

Um, I think awareness that not everybody's autism looks the same. And I think that's a big misconception. And I and I think that we should stop looking at the different symptoms and more like the individual as a whole, because each kid has their own personality, their own upbringing, their own morals, their own, you know, I mean, they're have uh different, they're all different, and yeah, they're they might have symptoms, similar symptoms, but everybody's autism looks different. So true.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:51

Yeah, I hear that a lot where um people who are don't have a child or a close family member, they don't really realize that. Yeah, and it's like, yeah, it is and that's why it's called a spectrum because everyone, you know, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:09

Oh, monitor the unsolicited advice, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:16:16

Oh yeah, I hate to say it, but especially, and I hate saying this on Teachers Week, but some teachers I hear like have an opinion, and I'm like, you don't you don't get to have an opinion or give me any advice?

SPEAKER_02 1:16:30

Sorry, like yeah, it's like I've not even a special educations teacher, you get no sorry.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:36

It's like you see one speck of the child, we like live the whole or they think just because they're a teacher that they know kids, and it's like I get that you see so many different types of kids, but how many autistic individuals like kids have you interacted with? You know? Yeah, it's hard, it's hard. That's that was my biggest struggle, I think, when Jackson was younger was hearing opinions from all these other people. And I'm like, same like when it comes to like our female body, we always like no uterus, no opinion. Kind of the same thing, like yeah, no autistic kid, no opinion. Like, you don't you don't get to tell me you're gonna have your opinion, but did I ask for it?

SPEAKER_02 1:17:20

Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:21

Yeah, if I said, Hey, what's your opinion?

SPEAKER_02 1:17:24

Then you're fair game.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:27

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:29

Oh well, all right. We we've got some good footage here. We got a good amount of time uh episodes, so I'll probably split this up into two because uh we got some good conversation going on. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:45

Oh well, thank you so much, Jasmine, for sharing your story and Micah's journey with us. It's been a pleasure for sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:54

Yes, thank you so much, and happy Mother's Day. Yes, we we have actually we're I feel like us autism moms deserve a little extra love on Mother's Day because sometimes we may not always get to really celebrate it because we're too busy with our our special kiddos who need us all the time.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:19

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:20

All right, well, thank you so much for joining us. We really appreciate it, and it's an honor to have you on our podcast. Um all right, bye everyone. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms. We would like to give a shout out to our graphic design sponsor, MySpot Design. Do you need a standout graphic design or seamless website solutions for your brand? MySpot specializes in custom logos, promo materials, plus professional website design and ongoing maintenance. Elevate your online presence today. Reach out at contact at myspot.design or go to myspot.design for more info. Thank you so much, owner Lindsay, for helping us out. We appreciate you.