S1 Episode 20- China Allen: Part Two

* LED BY THE CROWN & THE CROSS *

Join u for Part Two of our powerful conversation with China Allen 

China continues sharing her heart about motherhood, faith, advocacy, and raising her two sons on the autism spectrum. She also opens up more about her journey, her purpose behind the platform, and the importance of using your voice to inspire others 

This conversation is honest, encouraging, and filled with so much wisdom and love

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:10

All right, everyone, welcome to part two. We're gonna hop right in with China. Thanks for joining us again.

SPEAKER_05 0:18

Yes, thank you so much for having me again. Excited to be back.

SPEAKER_03 0:22

You're welcome. Such great conversations.

SPEAKER_05 0:25

Absolutely. It's it was so fun. It's always fun to talk to moms that are going through what you're going through.

SPEAKER_03 0:32

There's so many of us, right?

SPEAKER_05 0:34

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:35

Well, we want to get to know a little bit more about your title, your pageant journey. So we're gonna ask you some more questions. Is that all right? Yeah, absolutely. Let's jump in. All right. Go ahead, NJ.

SPEAKER_06 0:50

As you mentioned before, you currently hold the title of International Miss USA. First of all, congratulations.

SPEAKER_03 0:59

Amazing. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you. For the listeners, prior to that, she was Ms. Arizona International. Is that what it was? Yeah, Ms.

SPEAKER_05 1:12

International. Um International Ms. Arizona. There we go. Yeah. Sometimes you have to get the line the the verbiage correct, right? Yes, yes. Even I sometimes am like Ms. Intern International, Ms. International, Ms. Arizona.

SPEAKER_03 1:27

And I love, I've some, I've heard great things about that system. And uh tell us a little bit about what you did with your state title, um, the anything you did like involving autism and then nationals, uh, with your interview. Did you get to talk about autism, like any uh on stage questions? Tell us a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_05 1:51

Yeah, absolutely. So when I so all of my autism platform work really started with my first title prior to even getting involved in this. And I would say that as International Ms. Arizona was really when I took it a step further. Um, so with my former title, what we first did was we did huge fundraising events to help raise money for individuals that were stuck in the process of trying to get AAC devices for their children. We all know it can be a really, really tough process, and there's so many different hoops to have to jump through to get a communication device. And so we just were doing fundraising and through um actually just one single major fundraising initiative, we were able to gift five families an AAC device. So that was really, really cool. And that was sort of my first taste into like really wanting to dive into autism as my platform. Um, and so when I decided to do another pageant, International Ms. USA, um, I decided that I wanted to go even a step farther and kind of what we talked about in the first episode of really taking a deep interest in coaching typical individuals on how to be inclusive of our children. Because so often we're trying to, you know, or we're kind of told or we're kind of training our children how to fit into this typical world when in reality, you know, we didn't we don't take someone in a wheelchair and try to teach them how to fit into a non-disabled world. Why should we try and take our children with autism and try to fit them into this world that really hasn't been developed for them? And I'm a big believer that obviously advocacy starts in the home, you know, learning starts in the home. But the problem is there's a lot of parents that don't even know. Even just taking my son, you know, we have kids that do athletics and sports, and even just taking Ryan to different sporting events, I have parents asking me questions, grown adults being like, oh my gosh, what does this mean? Or how do you handle this? And and that was when I really had the big aha moment of parents don't even know. So, other than just be kind, yes, obviously, all parents are trying to teach and instill their children to be kind, but more than that, autism inclusivity is so much more than just being kind. And so that's where we just we we found it and we're getting uh my hope is that it's done very soon, but we're working on registering our nonprofit. Um, it's called Voice Up Leaders. And this really kind of stemmed from having children and step well, stepchildren not on the spectrum and watching them advocate for their step siblings and watching them bring friends over to the house and like explaining to their friends. Sorry, I'm in a little bit of a explaining to their friends like why they're why Ryan is different and why Ryan may not answer back. And that was when I was like, okay, peers pick up better from their peers, right? As mom, as mom, if we go tell if we go tell our kids something, they're like, whatever, that's not cool. But when they can hear it from someone they're age, absolutely, it clicks. So Voice Up Leaders is really an empowerment program to teach. We go in and teach a curriculum to like National Honor Society students, kids that are in volunteer programs within their schools, yeah, and then they get to be the ones. Because they're like the leaders, right? Absolutely. And so then they get to go in and actually educate the rest of the student body on how to be more inclusive of their friends in STC environments. And if you see them on the playground, how to be inclusive, and if you see them in the hallway, how to make them feel like they're part and they belong. And so that's really what Voice Up Leaders is. And as we're developing it, I'm also trying to work with some universities to actually local universities like Grand Canyon University, um, ASU to really also.

SPEAKER_03 5:55

I have a connection with GCU. So one of my Oh, do you? Yeah. So one of my friends, Emma, um, who is one of my Sparkles Queens, the disability uh pageant for ladies that I'm involved with, her dad started Lopes Academy. Have you heard of Loops Academy at GCU? It's for all individuals with disabilities.

SPEAKER_05 6:16

I have not heard of that.

SPEAKER_03 6:18

So it's like it's like their own little school, and uh, they it's like a working program, teaches them work ethics and stuff like that, and they get to go to graduation and everything. So I am sure they would love to connect with you. So off the podcast, we can I can get you connected with her um dad, and um you, you know, he knows everybody at GCU. So that would be, and they're already, you know, look at what they do already with that being a part of their program, I'm sure they're very, very interested. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_05 6:53

Absolutely, absolutely. And we really want to, you know, one thing that I I really look at, even with oh, well, really, truly, all of our typical peers today, they're they're in front of phones. These kids don't know how to communicate, they don't know how to lead, they don't know how to teach. And it's something too that in addition to teaching inclusivity, we're also building really strong leadership skills in these students so that they know how to public speak, so that they know how to teach and train. So not only it's it's like a twofold win, right? We're teaching how to be more inclusive and it's a peer-to-peer education program. And then we're also on the flip side really setting them up to be a great leader growing up, to also be more open-minded and inclusive as they go out into the workforce into the world. So it's sort of a twofold win. So that's voice up leaders, that is um my main platform through autism advocacy and kind of coaching and training. And um, we do also do some stuff with uh the fire departments as well on kind of responding to autism too.

SPEAKER_03 7:56

So I was just gonna ask you if you, you know, because you now you have that connection, that's that's amazing to see our first responders are are definitely getting more um, you know, they're learning more about autism and how they can know how to handle certain situations when they come across an individual, right?

SPEAKER_05 8:15

Absolutely, making sure that they they know the little things that most individuals, if you're not a caregiver or a parent to autism, you wouldn't know. You wouldn't know. How would you know?

SPEAKER_03 8:25

Yeah. And so last year, um, I'm gonna ask them about if they're gonna do it again this year, but I've been part of the Phoenix Children's Autism Summit last year, where they it's like a conference, a two-day thing where we speak to professional professionals, um, medical professionals, parents, all that. They had a firefighter there one year um speaking to the families about you know what they're doing and stuff. So if they need more guest speakers, maybe you and uh what's his name, Steven? Yes, yeah, we'll be the two guys. Maybe the two of you could come. You could speak as a mom and pageantry, and then you know, he can speak as a firefighter too. So I'll keep you in mind that's a good one. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 9:16

I'll I'll put my very I'll put my very introverted spouse up on stage. He'll love it.

SPEAKER_03 9:23

He will I think there was two firefighters, you know, that came. So, you know.

SPEAKER_05 9:29

He could have emotional poor buddy. I love it. I love it. He actually he's a massive advocate and he he he's learned a lot, you know, being a part of a part of this with us.

SPEAKER_03 9:40

So and he can talk about that because you know, um, I don't know if the individual, I didn't hear all of it, um, the firefighter that was there, if he had any personal connections with autism. I think he might have, but I think that just makes it a little bit more special and they have a personal connection. So it's not just a firefighter speaking, they're speaking with that, hey, I'm I live and breathe it and I see it, you know. It just so did you develop this platform when you um had the title of Arizona and then when you went to nationals, you got to talk about it? That yes, that's correct.

SPEAKER_05 10:21

So it was a work in progress, still, you know, kind of going from the Arizona title to the national title, and it's still a work in progress. You know, we're working on uh filing um our nonprofit, and we've built our curriculum and now it's just really kind of implementing it in the schools. So we have all of our communication drafted and really how we plan to get into the schools uh for the 2026-2027 school year. So I'm really excited. I'm obviously starting where we where we know, you know, I'm kind of starting in in our school district out here in the West Valley, just because we also have the special education PTSA out here. And I think it's just a really great um starting place. And then we'll move into the other areas. I'm really lucky that I have a lot of friends that are in the education sector. And so just kind of using those connections to get us into the schools. But at the end of the day, we're really just going in and teaching the curriculum to the student leadership bodies, and then it's their job to kind of go in to the school, run the assemblies, run the peer-to-peer coaching, and and take it from there. And then we're just here to be an extra support when needed. And really, my goal is to just continue to take this um bigger and bigger and bigger. I really hope to get it to a national, more national level. And we've had some interest uh just through the beauty pageant community with some schools in Texas, in Florida.

SPEAKER_03 11:46

It's just amazing what the people that you connect with through pageantry. And when you do something at a national level, you're meeting ladies from all over the state and you're developing those connections, you're talking to each other, nationals about your platform. So you get to learn so much about each other, and then they're like, Oh, I know someone with autism, or oh, someone in my family has autism, or they may have a child with autism, but then they learned what you're doing is something they probably may not even thought of. And it's just, it's so it's so cool to see, uh, especially, you know, finding another pageant girl that you know knows exactly what you're going through. It's just extra special. Did you meet any other uh sister queens that had uh autism as their platform?

SPEAKER_05 12:36

I didn't meet anyone who had autism as their platform. I was the only person in our group that was uh an advocate of autism as her platform. However, I did connect with another mom who does have a daughter with severe, also nonverbal autism. And one of the things that we talked about was, you know, I I obviously personal journeys are yours to share, right? I'm never gonna tell anybody what they should or shouldn't share. But I did say, you know, you're being given a microphone. And maybe now is a really great time for you to talk about some of the things. You don't have to go into too much detail, but you know, why you're passionate, you know, you're you're it's a stage and it's yours and you can share with the world whatever you want to share. And so I also think that it was really comforting for her to know that I think as moms in general, we deal with such severe mom guilt, but then add the autism on top of it. And I could tell that throughout the week she was feeling that like I'm here in Florida and my daughter is back home and I should be there. And I just really assured her like, you're right where you're supposed to be. Yeah, you also deserve to fill your cup. I'm here too, and I'm in the same boat as you are. Um, and so I think just also empowering her that it's okay to be here. You don't need to apologize for stepping out and doing something for you. And I love watching her journey now. Um, whether she does another pageant or not, this was her first pageant, and she actually won Miss Congeniality. Um I was like so excited for her. And um, but yeah, I mean, I think that just right.

SPEAKER_03 14:14

For her being her first pageant, she probably wasn't like, oh, this is something I should talk about, you know. Sometimes when you do your first pageant or you don't really know anybody and you're like, oh, like this is something maybe I should keep hush hush. And hopefully, hopefully you, you know, touched her heart, and maybe, you know, she will if it's not her journey, right? Maybe pageantry's not, but hopefully you inspired her in some way. I'm sure you did.

SPEAKER_05 14:41

I hope, I hope so. I hope so. She was an absolutely incredible mom, incredible woman. And um, it's been fun to even just watch her kind of step even more into her confidence. Whether she does another pageant or not, I don't know. But I obviously follow her on social media. These become lifelong sisters, I feel like. So um just even watching her step into more of a confident era has just been really fun to watch.

SPEAKER_03 15:03

Right. This, MJ, I'm telling you, this is the best part about pageantry, is you know, rooting each other no matter what, and just supporting and empowering each other and whether you have the same platform or not. Because, you know, I've meet, I've met so many women that have a different platform, but then we all uh empathize for each other and what we're going through or um learn. We're all learning from each other so much. So it's really cool to see. It is really awesome. Yeah. So did you uh you felt like your interview went well talking about your autism platform? Did you get asked anything about like your platform or anything on stage? Did you have an on-stage question?

SPEAKER_05 15:44

We didn't have an on-stage question. We had an on-stage final statement. So the top five had to make an on-stage statement. Yeah. I I did as well. I feel like it gives you an opportunity to kind of prepare a little bit instead of kind of just winging it as they ask you a question. Um, unfortunately, fortunately, unfortunately, I took a little tumble on stage um when I was grabbing my award and went one of my awards prior to finding out that I was in the top five. And so I actually used that as a segue in my final uh statement. And I said that as international Ms. USA, clearly, no matter how many times I fall, I will always get back up stronger than I did before I fell.

SPEAKER_03 16:27

And it was one of those moments where you know I just did you post something about it? Okay, I think I did. I think I did. This is before I like really knew who you were. I was like, that girl, get it. Like, what a way you're like, you know, and they say if you take a stumble, just if you make it a big deal, then that's when you were kind of like, oh, she was sour about it.

SPEAKER_05 16:55

Yeah, no, you know what I mean? It happens. It does. I stood back up, I flipped my hair, my dress ripped. So, like, I my dress was totally open in the back after it I fell. Oh, and um, at that point, I had one um best interview, which was uh like a high point, and then I had also won the high point award. So at that point, everyone was like, Okay, she's definitely going to the top five. So I just remember being backstage and getting stabbed in the back with all these safety pins because everyone was trying to like keep my dress together. Yeah, it was like oh my gosh, they put in your own you are okay, you know. Oh, totally fine, totally fine. I am very I'm clumsy off stage and on stage. So if anything, it just that's really it from a pageant standpoint. That's what I need to work on. Yeah, and true to my character. But um, yes, to answer your question, I did get asked about, you know, with if I were to win Ms. USA, you know, what would be my plans for my platform? And really, I just focused primarily on my goals with voice up leaders and and getting it as a registered nonprofit and my plan to roll it out to the schools. And I said to them, you know, and I am this way to my core, if I say it, if I speak it, it is going to happen. I won't let words roll off my lips if I have zero plans to implement. And so I and I'm a big believer.

SPEAKER_03 18:21

What's that? There's a Bible verse that talks about like the spoken word or something like that. I've just had a deja vu moment. I forget what it is. But one of the ladies up my took was talking about Yeah, I was talking about it like don't speak the words that are um like that you don't want to or not to be true, something like that. Anywho, but that's what it reminded me of. Yeah, like you um you've gotta, if you're gonna speak it and say that you wanna do it, you gotta ha follow through and have that action, right? Especially when it's something this important and um important to you personally, right?

SPEAKER_05 19:01

Absolutely. And you know, I have a lot of ideas in my head that I might not necessarily be fully competent on. I won't speak them, right? I might write them down or or brainstorm them. But once I put it out there, we're moving forward. And it doesn't matter how long it takes as long as we get to the to the end goal. Um, I have severe high-functioning ADHD. So when I sometimes I might speak something and I might go, you know, 20 million different directions before we get to the finish line, but we're gonna get to the finish line. So um, you know, that's that's really what we talked about. Our interview. This is actually the shortest interview I've ever had. Typically, our pageant pageant interviews I've done before are like seven to ten minutes. This was four. Um, so it was very short.

SPEAKER_03 19:48

I've never had one that long. Wow. Four minutes? No, seven minutes. I've never they've been four to four to five minutes is average. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 19:58

That was the that was the shortest one for me. Um, and so I you know, I just had to be really efficient in my answers, and I tried to let everyone judge we're gonna be able to do that panel.

SPEAKER_03 20:09

Was it panel? Okay, yeah. So the uh typically uh panels are like five, six minutes, and then round robin is usually like three or four. So that yeah, that is pretty short for a panel interview.

SPEAKER_05 20:22

Yeah, it was panel. There were four, four judges. So um everyone got a question in, so that was good. Uh good. And um, and and I did luckily end up winning uh best interview, so that was awesome.

SPEAKER_04 20:37

Woo! That a girl, get it. All right, Andre, go ahead and ask the next question.

SPEAKER_06 20:46

So, how long have you been involved in pageantry?

SPEAKER_05 20:50

Yeah, I got started really late in life, actually. I started at 33 years old and 36, so about three years ago, and it really kind of started in a midlife crisis. You know, I was like, I'm divorced, I'm uh trying to get through life right now, and uh, I'm gonna do a beauty pageant because that's what you do when you're broke and have nothing. I was like, yeah, this seems like a great idea. Um, and then and then I got sucked in, you know, being able to again that's what happens. Yeah, kind of kind of going back to episode one where I just realized, like, okay, you're meant to be here. And um, there's a reason that that idea kept popping in your head. There's a reason that you kept getting the, you know, I don't want to say having these dreams because that sounds so cheesy, but kind of like having these dreams, and things kept popping up on my social media timeline. And I was like, okay, there's just too many signs here, and maybe I just need to take the leap. So I did, and um, I did it truly at one of the most inopportune times in my life, and yet it still worked out, and it worked out so well that that was truly, I feel like, uh, a level of a divine intervention, you know. It it could have gone the polar opposite. I mean, I did it. It I did it messy, I did it poor, I did it unsure. And uh I love it. I truly, and so I'm also a big believer that you don't have to be, you know, everyone thinks that pageantry is for like the elite and the rich and like all these different things. And I'm like, no, my very first gown I ever competed in, I got used for $125. Yeah. Um, you know, you can absolutely do it.

SPEAKER_03 22:26

It doesn't matter the pri I always say this, it doesn't matter the price tag on the dress. If you love it, you will shine in it. That's all that matters, right? It's like your it's like your wedding dress. Like, you know what I mean? You you search and find the right one. If you feel good in it, it's gonna shine on stage. Absolutely. Does it matter? Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_05 22:51

Yes, same. The couture and all the things. And I always say it's really not about the dress, it's about the woman wearing the dress. And actually, you don't want your dress to wear you, you want to wear the dress.

SPEAKER_03 23:04

Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, there's so much that goes into it. And like interview dresses, you don't have to go spend $200. You can spend $40, you know, for Sheen.

SPEAKER_05 23:17

Oh, I was gonna all of my other outside of like pageant gown, all of my other dress, all everything else was from Sheen. Like everything, my interview attire.

SPEAKER_03 23:27

All of us page, a lot of pageant creates that we rely on it. And it's like we should tell them, like, you are like, you are a pageant girl's dream. Like it's easy to return it if something wasn't the way you thought it would look or didn't fit right.

SPEAKER_05 23:43

It's easy to return it, but and it's so reasonable and private that you can you really can buy every outfit that you need and not feel guilty, like, oh, I just spent thousands of dollars on my wardrobe.

SPEAKER_03 23:55

No, I I buy dresses for all the galas that I volunteer with. I'm like, I just you know, go on there. Yeah, absolutely. So I had a question for you. After you're so you're gonna, you mentioned before, you're going to compete in internationals in February. Yeah. So you go on with other like countries and you're representing it.

SPEAKER_05 24:19

Where is it at? It's going to be in New York City. It's actually over um fashion.

unknown 24:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 24:26

Oh, that's so cool. Oh my gosh. I we'll have to watch it together. It'll be um streamed on uh QBN, so Queen's Beauty Network.

SPEAKER_03 24:38

So it will I was gonna ask if it was gonna be at was it Pat was it pageantry live? What's the other one? There's another big platform streaming one for pageants. Okay, so yeah, just when you you get the information when gets closer, you got some time.

SPEAKER_05 24:52

I do, which is good because I there's so much I still want to accomplish. You know, there's so many things I still want to do over the next several months and uh you know, life life sometimes. And I feel like uh sometimes I feel like I'm behind the eight ball on the platform, but I'm like, you know what? No, as long as I continue to uh raise my voice, bring awareness, continue to show up for my son and others, continue to show up to all of these local events, like I'm doing my part, and everything with voice up leaders will fall into place. And even even when I go to events, I'm meeting people, you know, I'm meeting people that could eventually elevate the the platform more. So um, yeah, but it's easy to kind of get down on yourself and feel like you're not doing enough. So I always remind myself that as a mom of autism, I'm doing more than enough.

SPEAKER_03 25:40

Exactly, right? Exactly. Things take time. Like MJ and I wanted to get this podcast launched like it was April last year, and then we ended up not getting it launched until January. But it God has a plan and time, right? Things will happen. It's supposed to happen.

SPEAKER_06 25:57

Well, if you think about it definitely, it worked out.

unknown 26:01

Yep.

SPEAKER_06 26:02

Yeah, it worked out the end of this season is the baby.

SPEAKER_03 26:07

Yeah, she's having her baby. So it just works out great. We're taking the summer off, and then we'll start the second season in the fall. So it just lined up like like we've said, the way God just has it in store for us, right? Absolutely. I love that. Well, I'm so excited to uh see you rock the stage and see what you're gonna wear. And um yeah, I so do they for internationals is it kind of the same thing? Well, you'll have like a final the final top five will have like a statement or whatever.

SPEAKER_05 26:43

I believe so. Yeah. Yeah, I believe so. That's sort of from my understanding, kind of always been the way that it's done. Um, and then we compete on stage. I believe it's gonna be the same way in three different categories, three different categories. We compete in an all-white outfit, like a fun fashion. Um, we'll compete in like a national costume, so a USA style costume, and then we'll compete in our evening gown. Oh fun.

SPEAKER_03 27:10

Nice. So you guys don't have a swimsuit? Or did you say swim? No, no.

SPEAKER_05 27:14

No, no swimwear, and I'm okay with that.

SPEAKER_03 27:16

Are you?

SPEAKER_04 27:17

I was like, girl, I feel like you got a good, you got a rocking body for that.

SPEAKER_03 27:22

Oh I did like I was kind of interested in this system because uh I heard that they didn't have a swimsuit, and you know, that was always my hardest was I was just in my head too much with it. You know what I mean? So yeah, they have a missus division, right? They do, they have a missus division. They used to not years ago.

SPEAKER_05 27:46

Yeah, they do have a missus division. What's interesting is though, at internationals, there is only one winner. So misses and Ms. compete against each other, and there's only one international, Mrs. or Ms. So that's the first time I've ever really had that. I feel like every pageant I've done before, you have your miss, your Ms, your Mrs. and then your elite, which is uh like 55 plus. Yeah. And there's a winner for each. So this is actually the first time I've ever competed where um, and we have three girls representing USA because we have our Mrs. USA, who's fabulous. I love her. And then we also have our um Mrs. North America. So um, well, we have three women fighting for the title from our the United States. We're going as a you know, trio, obviously all on the same team, all rooting for each other, um, but ultimately competing against one another. And and the one thing I do really love about International Miz is it's extremely platform driven. And that was just something I wanted. I did a lot of research before doing this system. I talked to former directors and um industry peers and more mentors, and everyone said, you know, if you're looking for something platform driven, International Miz is like definitely that. Um, and it is absolutely that. I mean, it is fully platform driven. And the other thing that I love is our director is relatively like hands off. She's like, it's your reign, do with it what you want. And you know, just continue promote our brand well and and speak well of the brand. But other than that, do you? And I'm like, yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_03 29:22

That's awesome. That's awesome. Do you do you plan after you know, after they're done with this system, do you plan on maybe looking to see if there's another system in your future?

SPEAKER_05 29:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 29:36

Yeah. Um for me. Yes. I feel like I feel like you have still many years to come, maybe after your wedding, right?

SPEAKER_05 29:47

So it'll definitely be it'll definitely be after the wedding. I have I have two um that I'm kind of tossing up, but it is a much, and I say this just from like the level of competition, it's a much larger stage. So um I won't give too much information. We'll chat about that on another day. Yeah, but yeah. But I will definitely, I will be definitely doing another one after. I just I I have two that I'm kind of tossing up and down. And again, kind of I feel like when you do another pageant, it's like you're giving away a big portion of your life for a year. And so you want to make sure that it's uh aligns with your values and your morals and the peers uh fit your vibe. And so um I'm just continuing to kind of like do the research, but it'll all just kind of depend what happens, depends what happens in February.

SPEAKER_03 30:34

So well, I'm glad to hear that you, you know, you're not like okay, I'm done, you know, with pageants and because you have, you know, I can just see for your future that you're gonna have way more, you know, opportunities. And and I'm glad to hear you're still gonna keep doing it because you know, it's just it's it's fun to see others uh just continue. And you know, like you said, pageantry is a great voice uh and a stage for our platform. So that's just more people that you're gonna empower and impact, right? Yes, that's exactly it.

SPEAKER_05 31:08

That's really the whole purpose at this point. Started out for me, and now it's literally for everyone else but me. I want to just continue to spread awareness um and advocacy, especially around autism. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:22

All right, well, I'm out of questions. Do we have any more, MJ? I think we have kind of this one. Maybe ask her a little bit about that one.

SPEAKER_06 31:34

What has it meant to use your title and platform for your boys and other families?

SPEAKER_05 31:41

Yeah, you know, I think that my kids are in a situation where they don't really understand it yet. You know, I think that Cash just gets to see me dressed up. Actually, we were looking, this is hilarious. We were looking through my phone today, and a memory popped up, and it was in it was me in my crown and sash, and it was my winning photos, like right after I won. And I said, Look, that's mommy. And he goes, That's not mommy. And I said, Yeah, that's mommy. And he goes, No, you're too dark in that picture because I had spray. I was like, No, that's literally mommy. And he's like, No, it's not. And I'm like, okay, just because I look like this every day doesn't mean I'm like, this is the most humbling experience. Thanks. Leave it to your kids to humble you quickly. Um, and then, you know, Ryan, I hope one day he understands like really all that I'm I'm doing for him. I I truly do. But at the end of the day, whether he truly gets it or not, the whole purpose of this is so that the world gets him, you know, not so that he gets what I'm doing, but that the world gets him. Um, you know, and and the more that I just talk about it, I think people don't even realize. I had posted a reel um this past weekend of me exercising. And I said, you know, people always assume that I'm exercising for beauty pageants and, you know, modeling and all these different things, but what they don't really realize is I am working out because I have to have to lift my child. I stress him. I I have to I I'm training for a lifetime of caregiving. And so although people see this lifestyle that I'm living uh and can assume that it's out of vanity, absolutely not. I am I have to work out and lift weights because I physically have to pick up my child. I he to dress him, to help him go to the bathroom, to get him out of the bathtub when he won't get out. You know, I physically have to do these things. And so, you know, that's just another huge part of this, and just wanting the world to understand not only me, but through every mom that's going through this is whether you have a child with autism or not, half the times we're not doing this out of vanity. We are truly doing this for our platforms. And so whether Ryan, I think Cash Lunde will truly understand right now, he just thinks it's funny and he's like, Oh yeah, a crown and a sash and mommy's a princess, and all of these different things. Yeah. Um where I think it's fun is you know, the older boys kind of see it, you know, and I think that they really do understand um following me on social media and kind of following my journey and all of the things that I talk about through autism. I do think that they're they get to see it. Yeah. And I also feel like that's just helping them go out into the world as better human beings as they get older and just knowing that, you know, their you know, China, their stepmom or whatever they want to consider me, um fought at all costs for the boys. And um to really bring awareness around that. So, you know, at the end of the day, if the boys understand it one day, great. If not, the whole purpose of this was so that the world will understand them.

SPEAKER_03 34:55

Yeah. And you'll you probably get this. Um I'm gonna try not to get emotional, but it's just it's so hard. And other pageant moms won't understand this that don't have kids on the spectrum. Like I when I competed at America Arizona America, it was a challenge from I felt so bad for my um my family because I wanted Jackson to be there. Um because now I'm really this was a time that I actually got to really advocate for him, both his cancer and autism. And he couldn't sit there and watch a pageant. You know what I mean? He can't, and then like when I went to California to compete um with Woman of Achievement, we decided to leave him home and my mother-in-law stayed with him because there's no way that he could come. And it's just like it hurts when I'm watching another pageant and I see the kids like, go mommy, and stuff like that, right, China? It's like it's so hard because it's like my kid won't can't do that. And you want them like, especially I bet when you won the title and you knew it was for him, you're like, I don't have him here to hug and you know, and it's just a whole other level of kind of like grief that you don't get those special moments. But like you said, knowing this is our purpose and we are doing this for them, we know that this these national titles that we have won is because of them and our love for them and how they inspire us.

SPEAKER_05 36:36

So it's yeah, you hit it right on the head. I mean, that is so that is so true. And that was that was actually one of the other questions that bring brings it up. One of the questions I was asked in my interview was, and I'm sure they weren't expecting this answer, but what was the big what was your biggest challenge getting here to compete? And I said the biggest challenge was leaving my autistic son at home. Um, I'm his full-time caregiver. And to not only am I, and not only am I missing him here, but the fears of what, you know, again, battling that like selfish and selfish, selfless, right? Like it's the battle of like, I'm actually doing this for the most selfless reasons, but why do I feel so selfish in being here? And like really sitting in that, knowing that you have someone at home that can't advocate for themselves, that can't fight for themselves, that can't speak up, that can't tell me what's going on, that I can't pick up the phone and call and say, Hey, are you okay? What's going on? Like, you know, all of these different things. And I I mean, I did get very emotional in my interview because I was just feeling all the things. And you're right, I was witnessing, I never even really thought about that. You know, I'm I'm I've been at least so blessed that my my partner has been able to be at every competition. And so, you know, he is my biggest cheerleader and he is my biggest advocate, and he is the one person that even when things were so tough and I was ready to completely give up, he was like, Nope, I'm not letting you, you need to keep going. Um, and so but truly to not have both my kids there, all of my kids there, um, is so hard and so painful, especially when they are your purpose. Like they are your why, they are your platform. Um, and so that is why the next the next pageant that I do, um, it's interesting that you mention, you know, the pat doing a pageant locally. The next system that I want to do actually would be to to compete for an Arizona title, really just for the purpose of my family being able to watch, you know, or try to watch. Um, even if that means going out to the lobby from time to time to give breaks or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 38:56

That's what they did with him. It was like he got to see me. Um, but that was the first time I think he saw me compete, really. And it was at a bigger stage. It was at the Herberger Theater and it was like mommy's way down there. And um, you know, he saw me and then it was game over. It was like, oh, where'd you go? Why, you know, why can't I go? It was more that like, oh my gosh, you know. I think he's getting better now that he's older and he sees me perform like when I do my Irish step dancing. So he's he's getting more that concept of mommy's on stage. Um, but those pageants are just so long sometimes, you know. And so they would take breaks to go out, and then they missed me on something because, you know, like my husband, my mom, my dad, they all tried taking turns. It's just it's hard. It's hard.

SPEAKER_05 39:46

It's hard. I I mean, I feel bad even for Cash, you know, he's got all these like school choir concerts and all these award ceremonies, and I try to take Ryan, you know, and uh half the time because of Steven's schedule, I'm single mom in it, you know, single, not single mom in it, but he's at the station. You're there by yourself trying to handle both. Oh my gosh, yeah. And and so I even feel bad for Cash sometimes because if there have been multiple times where during a um you know concert of some sort, I'm like in and out, and Ryan's getting antsy, or it's too loud, or he doesn't understand why he has to sit, you know, for so long, or he's hungry, or he has to go to the bathroom. And and so, you know, it's it's really one of those things that is people don't realize also that having a child with autism is literally an adjustment for the entire family. Like it's not just the mom, yeah, it's not just the caregiver. Other kids get a lack of support sometimes, other kids get a lack of attention. Marriages do fail, unfortunately. I mean, this is a very real scenario, and I get so frustrated when I see all these comments that are like, oh, well, you know, our son, you know, our marriage doesn't feel like great, good for you. Like that's so wonderful that your child is, you know, excelling enough that it's not putting pressure on your partnership and your relationship. But Steven and I have had a tough, you know, our love has been able to overcome the majority of it. But we've had a lot of tough conversations around what the future looks like because again, him and his children have stepped into a role of lifetime care. You know, there will be a lifetime of care.

SPEAKER_03 41:27

God bless them for you know, for him to um be so, you know, um, I don't want to say like accepting, but yeah, but like it's not hindering him, you know what I mean? It wasn't a red flag or you know, um anything like that. And that kind of leads us into like we want a little bit want to know a little bit more about your family dynamic. I love that you talked about the boys and how they are teaching their friends, uh, his boys are teaching their friends about your boys. And that is just that gave me chills. Like that's I that's God working right there. And he's brought you a wonderful family that you needed, right? That you didn't know you probably needed.

SPEAKER_05 42:17

That I honestly never thought we'd find. Right. You know, when I when I got divorced, I was really prepared to just be single. Like I I was very prepared for that. And um, you know, I there's don't get me wrong, there's been so much of a learning curve. Um but you know, quite transparently, it was Steven who was really the one that like forced me to accept friends because I was very much like, no, no, no, I don't want people coming over, like I don't want to be judged. I don't want to have to explain I have to explain enough already. But ultimately, at the end of the day, that's not fair, you know, right? Kids deserve to have friends over and have sleepovers, and we have a great house for it. We've got land and property and like all these things, dirt bikes. Like, they deserve to have friends come over. And ultimately, that was always my dream when I became a mom. Like, I wanted to be the house that was the safe haven for all of the kids, for all of their friends, like the place where, you know, we watch you, but we're also gonna give you a level of responsibility, and that's how my upbringing was. And so I have always wanted to be that. And I'll never forget, really, it was just sort of like Steven didn't even ask me, which we had a conversation about that later, but Steven D didn't even ask me, he just like told me on the way home from the racetrack our kids his kids race BMX. Um, he was like, We're bringing friends and they're spending the night. And I was home with Ryan and Cash, like, what? What? Yeah. Are you like panicking? I'm like literally having, I'm like, where's the thing? It's different when you have autistic kids. Like you can't. Yeah, yes. Yeah. I was literally like going through the cabinets like we have no wine here. Like, what am I? I'm like sweating. I'm freaking out. And um I was like, okay, okay, okay, everything's gonna be fine. So I I talked to Cash, right? And Cash is relatively typical. So I was able, yeah. And so I said, you know, the boys are bringing friends over. We gotta give space. Don't be too in their face because they're older. And and um, and then I just when Steven got home, I said, you know, can we please talk, make sure the kids talk about Ryan? He said, We already did. We had a whole conversation about it in the car. Um and um, and then the whole, like, I would say 12 hours, there was a sleepover. So um the whole 12 hours, it was just like, why was I worried? You know, like first of all, our kids are friends with good kids, right? So that helps. Number one, these are good kids, they're respectful, they're kind, um, good, good parents, good families. But to watch them like include Ryan in literally everything, like was the most magical experience because that's all you want for your children is just for them to feel included. And it's it's okay to be able to do it.

SPEAKER_03 45:07

Even if they don't play in like interactively, like still they're there, they see, they feel, they hear.

SPEAKER_05 45:14

Yeah, even if it's like a side-by-side, and that's a lot of it what it was. You know, Ryan's on the trampoline doing his thing, and the boys are messing with dirt bikes and bikes, but they're together, and I think that's that's that's just so people don't realize how much that actually does mean to individuals with autism, like just even being that's inclusion, right? Being able to be in that same, and like every now and then they'd be like, Yeah, right, Ryan. And Ryan would be like, Yeah, you know, and it's just like that alone is yeah, and they're more aware of it than people even realize. They are so much more aware of it, and and yeah, it so it's been really cool. I mean, obviously, we have challenges. Sometimes I'm sure Steven's kids are exhausted, you know, they they're they do athletes athletes, they go to school, and I'm sure sometimes when Ryan is having a hard time, like it's hard, it's hard on everybody. And um, but you know, we all are a team here, and it's sort of one of those things where when Steven and I got engaged, it was the conversation of like, this is we're all on board, you know, it we wouldn't have we wouldn't have bought our home together and gotten engaged if we weren't all on board with a lifelong journey of caring for Ryan. So it's been really amazing and nothing's perfect, but it's been really, really awesome. And we are so lucky to have him and his kids, truly.

SPEAKER_03 46:39

Oh, I'm so happy for you. That that's amazing. Isn't it great just to hear them kind of like just acknowledge that he's there and say his name and include him? And that's that's been a struggle, I feel like for me and like my family and like cousins is you know, some of them get it, some of them don't, or the question, why doesn't he talk? Or what's wrong with him, or you know, and you try to get the kids to understand, but the kids, you know, don't really understand why they don't talk. And that's that's just always the hardest. But um, you know, like Christmas time, and there was a whole bunch of stuff that we were all doing together, and it was just so great to see the more and more times we got together, the more included he started becoming because they started going, Oh, okay, well, whatever. And like Jackson does his own little stimming thing where he like has his own little language where he says stuff, and one of the girl cousins was like kind of repeating it with him and like moving around with him, and I was just like, oh, like, right, yeah, it just fills it fills your heart with just so much love and joy. Those little things mean so much to us, right? MJ, do you feel like you have like some of the same situations with Kai? Like, you know, any struggles with him being around like other family members and um them wondering like why he's different in some ways.

SPEAKER_06 48:09

Not yet. We're pretty to ourselves. We haven't really found people and then group.

SPEAKER_03 48:21

Yeah, we had Kai had a great time at Jackson's party. So now that we know China over here, we'll have to do some parties and stuff over here.

SPEAKER_06 48:31

So literally, it's like I'm almost nervous for the baby shower because it's at my significant other's family's house. And I'm not sure how much they understand, and so it'll be interesting.

SPEAKER_03 48:52

It's nerve-wracking, huh, isn't it?

SPEAKER_06 48:55

Yeah, very, very, because um they're like from New York, and so it can be loud and New York a little different, huh?

SPEAKER_03 49:05

Yeah, so yeah. And we, you know, and like you said, China, with the boys bringing the friends over, it's valid, right? To feel those feelings. We feel that every family, I feel like every mom feels that in a way. We just feel it a little bit harder and deeper.

SPEAKER_05 49:24

Yeah, I think there were so many fears too. Like, even just introducing and MJ, this kind of goes back to like bringing in your partner's family. Like, I had so many fears of my future in-laws like meeting Ryan, because the biggest thing that I feared was them saying, like, Steven, are you sure you want to do this? Like because they have so much influence, right? Like, your parents have so much influence in your life, and my own mom struggles with a relationship with Ryan badly. I mean, she really doesn't understand Ryan. And that's not that's my mom. Yeah. And so my biggest fear even was like introducing Ryan to family was like, oh gosh, what if they try to say, like, Steven, this is a lifetime of care, and you know, are you sure? And you know, obviously, we love China, but like, are you sure you want to do this? But I was so lucky that they've also just they love Ryan and and they're so inclusive of Ryan. But I am there with you. I mean, we stayed for the for a long time, we have stayed really like I don't like taking them anywhere. I don't because also, and I'm sure as moms, we get this, it's like the defensive versus educating. And I tend to always get defensive first. Like, I think it's first of all that a hundred percent. Mama bears or big mama bears. Yeah, absolutely. But I again it just goes back to like the wheelchair comment I mentioned earlier. Like, you never question someone in a wheelchair, you never question someone with a physical abnormality. Why are we questioning on behavior? Like, I just it seems so unnecessary to me. And so I and even Steven is like, it's okay, it's okay. Like, let's educate. I'm like, I'm gonna like, you know, I gotta get real feisty. And he's like, no, no, no, we're this isn't this is a teaching moment. We're gonna educate. I'm like, whatever, they're an adult, they should know better. You know, it's one thing to educate kids, it's another when like adults are questioning you on your decisions and like why Ryan still uses a pacifier um from the oral sensory.

SPEAKER_03 51:30

I bet you get like judgments from other people, other moms in the autism community, and moms not with autism, you know. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 51:40

And I always say when my son starts choking on an object or puts something poisonous in his mouth, I'll be sure to inform you because that's what we're up against here. Um you gotta pick and choose, you know. You gotta exactly have to pick first a hundred percent. And he doesn't use it at home, you know. It really is more of a coping mechanism when we're out in public spaces. I always relate it to it's the same way some kids wear the headphones, you know, it's no different. Ryan doesn't have noise sensory or light sensory, he has an oral sensory. And so when he's anxious and nervous, yep. And so everyone is different and everything is different. But I think as a mom, too, and it's one of the reasons we why we've stayed for a long time, like very cooped up in our own little world, is like mama bear can be mean too. So, like, I have to sometimes remind myself this is a this is a teaching. Yeah, God help me, help me in this moment say the right, not say something I shouldn't say. I've said I have said more times than once, like, Lord give me the strength to not whoop this person's butt right now. Like, I am about to lose my mind. Yeah, um but yeah, so that's I mean, they're they're all very valid feelings though, valid feelings, valid concerns, and these are like literally the daily struggles that we have to go through. So true.

SPEAKER_06 53:00

Yeah, I feel like I'm still trying to get him to understand a little bit because when it comes to him and Kai, he associates like look at perfect timing. Come say hi. Hi!

SPEAKER_03 53:24

Look at her typical smile. Is he being shy?

SPEAKER_06 53:27

He said, Hold on, let me put my stuff down.

SPEAKER_04 53:33

Hi, come over just a little more, bud. There he is. Hi, he's just talking about you.

SPEAKER_03 53:45

Yeah, you're growing, you got a little taller, bud.

SPEAKER_06 53:50

Yeah, it's his last day of developmental preschool, preschool in general, and then he goes into kindergarten, and I feel like I'm the one over here having a meltdown.

SPEAKER_01 53:58

Like emotional meltdown, yeah. You're a big boy, huh, bud?

SPEAKER_06 54:08

All right, so cute.

SPEAKER_03 54:10

Yes, you definitely have to have some fun times together between our properties.

SPEAKER_06 54:16

Uh, you'll have to come out and cutie.

SPEAKER_03 54:22

I have some cool sunglasses for him. I'll bring Jackson outgrew them. Anywho, I got some new cool shades for him.

SPEAKER_05 54:32

So cute. Oh my goodness, the cutest little thing.

SPEAKER_06 54:35

Uh, he's a ladies' man since birth.

SPEAKER_05 54:39

Yeah, that's my voice.

SPEAKER_06 54:41

Yeah, my voice too.

SPEAKER_03 54:42

I could see it. Yeah. All right. Well, we're gonna kind of just you've talked about a lot of the questions that we had. So we're gonna kind of wrap it up with some ending closing uh questions that we kind of ask every mom. Um you've kind of elaborated on this a little bit, but MJ, go ahead.

SPEAKER_06 55:03

Yeah, what are some changes you would like to see happen within the autism community?

SPEAKER_05 55:10

Yeah, you know, I want to see a little bit more of like us not conforming to what everyone else wants us to conform to. And I think the autism community needs to push back on that together collectively. Um, I see a lot of moms again just like trying to force their kids to fit into situations that we should not have to force our kids to fit into, but I understand the peer pressure of it all.

SPEAKER_00 55:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 55:33

Um and we are pressured, I mean, by the schools, by clubs, by certain churches, like, hey, if you know, your kid can't conform to these things, you know. Um, and so we're we're trying to push our kids into these this box that it's not built for them. And and the world, unfortunately, that we're living in right now hasn't been built for them. But the only way it's gonna change if is if all of us collectively say, I'm not conforming to the way you think my child should be. You need to conform to being more open-minded and more inclusive that every single person is different. Doesn't mean you have to accept every tantrum. Yes, tantrums happen. And I always tell people, I know when my son is having an autism meltdown and a tantrum.

SPEAKER_03 56:15

There's did you watch the whole episode about tantrums versus meltdowns? Because people don't get it.

SPEAKER_05 56:22

There's a difference. I actually did. There's a massive difference, and it's like I know the difference. And yes, if I see that my child is having a tantrum, I don't engage with the behavior. He has disciplinary action. We just want to make sure the other kids in our household.

SPEAKER_03 56:36

Yeah. We want to make sure that we go from a tantrum into a big meltdown, which into a big meltdown. Extremely hard. Absolutely, right? It's and you know what I've noticed too, kind of you're talking about with like the communities and and uh people wanting us to conform to them. I've noticed, and I'm not gonna say any names, but with Jackson being like also a cancer survivor, and we're involved with some organizations with that, he can't participate in some things, or they don't ask our family to participate in certain things because he can't do those things, and it's so unfair. You know what I mean? Like he he was asked to we did a photo shoot for a gala and they didn't feature his pictures. And I'm like, why did we come down here to the studio then? Like because he can't say things in the camera, but he can take a picture, but they ended up not even using his pictures, and I didn't even get the pictures. And I'm like, so there's like certain things like that that I was like, those things need to change. We can't absolutely you know, you can't exclude can exclude.

SPEAKER_05 57:50

And more parents need to get comfortable getting uncomfortable and speaking up. I mean, if parents don't advocate, we're not, and everybody has a different definition of advocating, and I know that, and and my definition might look a little more extreme than other people. Yeah, but that's where I tell moms like lean on me. I will advocate for you. Like, if you're not comfortable going there, allow me to go there for you. Or I will go there for you.

SPEAKER_03 58:16

If you feel like you want to stand next to me and I'll say and you you know, just be there like, yeah, right?

SPEAKER_05 58:22

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. But I I just am I'm really tired of and I follow all of these different Facebook groups and everything's like, well, how do I help my son fit in more? It's like don't, don't. They need to fit in with your son. Like exactly. And the more that you the more you try to foot up fit him into a box or her into a box, the more they're just gonna expect us to continue to do that. And we're not doing that anymore. We're not doing that anymore. So that's the one thing that I would I would change about, you know, the autism community is just really saying, uh-uh, no more. We're not fitting into fit your mold, and y'all need to be more inclusive of these individuals.

SPEAKER_03 59:02

Well said. Well said. Well, um, if you could give one message of encouragement to another parent who is just starting this journey, what would you like them to hear?

SPEAKER_05 59:16

That it wasn't your fault. Um, that it wasn't your fault. I have spent many, many days, months, years trying to like pinpoint one specific thing that could have caused this. And yeah, I know that there were many years that I was like, that I did something. I ate something. I did I drink alcohol before I knew I was pregnant. Like, I try to pinpoint it back to so many things, and at the end of the day, it wasn't my fault. This is who he was meant to be, and there's a reason that he is this way. And I think that as soon as you can understand, like it wasn't your fault, there was nothing that you did that caused this. There's nothing that you probably could have done to have not caused this. Right. This is who that they this is who they were intended to be from the moment they were born. Um that's when you can really help get them the help that they need, when you can kind of pull yourself out of that, like why, you know, why, why did this happen? And like, this is my fault. Kind of pulling yourself out of that, which it's very easy to do. It's very easy to do once you get that diagnosis is to think, gosh, what did I do to cause this?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:30

How did this happen? I feel like we all go through that. We just can't have to get ourselves out of that thinking, right?

SPEAKER_05 1:00:38

And sometimes I still go there. I'm still like, oh, you know, I I'll like be not be able to sleep at night and I'll go down the rabbit hole or I'll see a TikTok reel or video that's like, oh, did you do this while you were pregnant? I'm like, oh my gosh, maybe I did. Oh gosh, I know. They're terrible. It's fear mongering and it's terrible. Yeah, but it does make you go, oh gosh. And so I just always have to remind myself, he was made perfectly in God's image, and this is exactly who he was supposed to be. No matter who he was, you know, I talked about regression, but no matter who he was when he was firstborn and who he is today, he is exactly who he is supposed to be today.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:15

Amen. Well said. Well, wonderful. That's it. We are all wrapped up. Is there is there anything else that you would like to uh words of encouragement? Um, anything else that you want to say to our listeners before we close out?

SPEAKER_05 1:01:36

Just to no matter what you're going through and no matter how hard it is, whether you're a caregiver of autism or a mom of autism, or maybe just listen to educate yourself on what's going on in our world. Um, just know that you're enough and you're doing enough even when you feel like you're not. So, and again, that goes for whoever is listening. Um and whatever your pathway is, you are fully enough exactly where you are today. That's really I'll end with that.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:08

Very well said. Yeah. Thank you. Incredible, absolutely incredible. Thanks, guys.

unknown 1:02:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:18

Do you do you have your crown near you? I I do. Hold on. See that bad boy. Show that bad boy off. I will. I will. It's beautiful. It's got like pearls and diamonds mixed together. Yeah. Yes. Right? Look at that thing. Isn't that amazing?

SPEAKER_05 1:02:38

That is like a queen's crown. Yes. It's so pretty. It's just, it's heavy.

unknown 1:02:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:46

I will admit it's so heavy. And I always, every time I like take it off, I have a permanent indent like right here in my head. Um, that I'm like, oh gosh, I like, whoo, wow. That's that's that's intense. And it takes sometimes like a day for my head to go back to normal shape. It looks heavy, but it's beautiful, right? Thank you so much. I do love it. And the international crown is like bigger, so I'm like, oh boy, I just gotta keep wearing it to like prep my head for you know what could possibly come if I win.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:18

So all in God's plan, right? All in God's plan.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:22

All in God's plan. And I've got I've got a lot of months to prepare and figure it out. So you sure do.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:28

Well, we'll be rooting for you, and uh thank you so much for joining with us. Um incredible.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:35

Thank you, ladies, so much. It's been so much fun. I really, really appreciate this. And yes, off the podcast, we all have to get together. Yes, get our boys together.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:44

I still have so many questions.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:46

I know, right? Oh, yeah. I'm trying to get her well after she's you know, her baby's grown up after a while, maybe for her to, you know, dip into the pageant world, see if it's something she would like.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:59

Cause I think you it's a great time. And it is a great time to get into it because after having a baby, you do feel like, oh, I'm so I'm so deflated. And I just I need something for me to like remember that I'm I'm a beautiful woman and I empower others. Like you need that sometimes. And yeah, actually, I think after having a baby is one of the best times to get into pageantry to kind of help refill your cup. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:25

Work on my speaking. That's what I'm deathly afraid of.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:30

There's coaching for that, it's easy.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:32

Yeah, she's already grown, she's grown so much over the past year.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:37

So, yeah, and I was gonna say, between between Amy and I, we've got you. We'll coach you. You'll do great.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:43

That's what I told her.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:45

Yeah, I told Amy I'm gonna have to like shadow her.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:48

Yeah. Well, I'm giving up my reign in October. So if you want to go to California for a little trip, you can come, or it's live stream, but you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:59

Like I think I owe it to myself to go, you know. Yeah, check it out.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:05

Yeah, you do, and I feel like you get a better sense of the sisterhood and the camaraderie and like the empowerment and the partnership when you're there. It's like hard to feel it from a screen, or even just like we can talk about it all day long, but until you actually get to experience it and see it firsthand, you don't really realize it. You're like, oh yeah, pageantry. And people think like that's your competition. What do you mean, sisterhood? And you're like, no, you just don't understand. I mean, these are lifelong friends and connections, and I have gotten so many cool opportunities just from women that stood next to me on stage that they didn't win, but they were wanting to elevate, you know, what what I was doing. And so, like introductions and all these different things. It's it ultimately just everyone is in it to help women, like at the end of the day. Like that's why we do it.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:57

Yeah. And as you can see, we've had MJC. met several pageant title holders that have been on our podcast and yeah you know and you get to uh you know this is really I feel like for MJ you're really getting to meet all kinds of people and especially pageant queens and you know getting to see what it's really all about for sure right all right well you ladies a great evening and thank you so much Chyna you were wonderful and I can see why you won that international title you can tell when you're speaking it's from the heart and um I can't wait to see what the future holds for you.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:40

Thank you so much. That honestly like gives me goosebumps and truly means so much to me because I think we question ourselves all the time throughout these processes. So yeah to hear that that you feel my authenticity honestly means so much. So thank you. I really appreciate that.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:55

You're welcome. All right well thanks listeners bye China Yeah absolutely have a good one you as well thanks we would like to give a shout out to our graphic design sponsor MySpot Design do you need a standout graphic design or seamless website solutions for your brand MySpot specializes in custom logos, promo materials plus professional website design and ongoing maintenance. Elevate your online presence today reach out at contact at myspotdesign or go to myspotdesign for more info. Thank you so much owner Lindsay for helping us out. We appreciate you