S1 Episode 22 - Kirsten Acklin: Part One

*Shine in Your Spectrum *
🎙️As we close out the month of May celebrating autism moms, we are honored to welcome our final guest for the month — Kirsten Acklin 💙👑🧩

Kirsten opens up about her journey as a mom to her son Hudson, who is on the autism spectrum, and shares how motherhood has shaped her heart, purpose, and advocacy.

In this episode, she also talks about:
✨ Her pageantry journey
✨ Her passion for advocating for the autism & neurodivergent community
✨ Life with her daughters
✨ Her loving relationship with her fiancé
✨ Navigating motherhood while uplifting others through her platform

This is such a heartfelt conversation you won’t want to miss 💙

#autismadvocacy #Neurodivergent #AutismMoms #autismPodcast #Pageantry

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:09

Hey everyone, welcome back to mom's raising the spectrum. We are so happy you're joining us for another heartfelt conversation and story from the autism community. Today we're talking with a mom who is navigating motherhood, advocacy, pageantry, and raising a son on the spectrum all at the same time.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Please help us welcome Kirsten to this episode. Thank you for joining us. We appreciate it. And um before we jump in to learn more about your son, tell us a little bit about you.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

Yeah, absolutely. I'm so so excited to join you two amazing moms and be here together to talk about Hudson and just our lives raising our neurodivergent kiddos. So thank you so much for having me. Um so I'm Kirsten. Um, I have a neurodivergent son. Um, his name's Hudson. He just turned three. Uh, so the journey with Hudson um, you know, has been short so far with our journey of since his diagnosis. He was diagnosed at two. Um, we saw signs pretty early on, to be honest. So my mother-in-law actually noticed them. So she noticed them, I'd probably say before he even approached one, to be honest with you.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

So I was it's so neat to hear everyone's story and who noticed yeah, but you know, the like kind of hey, you know, I'm maybe it's so interesting to hear. There's so many different people in our lives, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:47

Yeah, yeah. So we have Hudson, um, and then I have two girls as well. So I'm a mom of three, super busy. Yes, it's 13. So I have 13, nine, and three. So I have wow. Nine and three, that's a big jump, huh? Yeah, they're all at different places in life, right? So I have my toddler, I have my preteen, and then I have my teenager thinking she's 25. Um, 13 going on 30. Literally, yeah. Um, and then you know, in the midst of all that, I I'm a working professional, so I work a nine to five. Um, I'm also a business owner. We're working on establishing a business, me and my fiance. Um the goal is to be able to be at home with the kids at the end of the day. So we're doing that. Um, and then I just got back into one of my favorite hobbies, and that's actually where Amy and myself met, um, pageantry. I adore, love the pageant community, and it's always been a big, big part of my life. Um, but just you know, unfortunately, the past couple years, especially with Hudson's diagnosis, he's he's needed a lot of my time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

I took a break for like three, four, five years, maybe, you know. Yeah, that's the great thing with pageantry, is we can take breaks and come back.

SPEAKER_02 3:10

Yeah, especially, yeah, especially with one of my childhood pageants just introducing the elite division, which is super, super cool. I'm excited about that. I'll be competing in July. Um, so I'm preparing for that. But yeah, um, outside of that, um, I'm a huge, huge advocate, especially for the neurodiverse community. There's not a lot of advocacy out there um for the moms specifically and the families and fighting for what we need. It's huge in Arizona. A lot of things are being taken from us right now. So having our community and having one another is huge.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

So yeah, that's just a little bit. It really is. Well, tell us a little bit more about like what you do for a living, if you went to college, things like that.

SPEAKER_02 3:53

Yeah, so right now, currently I am a property manager, so it's basically just property management. Um, kind of like you know, if you live in an apartment community, you go into a leasing office, the ladies that are in there. Um, I've been in property management for over a decade now. Um property management, you wouldn't it is, you wouldn't believe it, but it's extremely demanding uh mentally too, right?

SPEAKER_00 4:16

So my my one of my best friends is works in property management meetings and board meetings and all, you know, all it's not easy.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

It's a lot, it's a lot, yeah. Um, my degree is actually something completely separate. I feel like that happens to a lot of us. Um my degree is in criminal justice, so I'm just like, yeah. Yeah. So on the flip side of um what I do now in the advocacy and all that, I have a huge, huge passion for helping people um in recovery. So, like drug abuse and things like that. So, and the prison systems too, our prison systems are really bad. Um, so the whole goal of obtaining my criminal justice degree was to become a police officer, but becoming a police officer to make a good change. Um, I learned because I have a mentally ill brother too, he's severely SMI. Um, and he was in and out of prison my whole life, you know. And I I watched, you know, a couple times when he was getting arrested or altercations with police, they didn't know how to handle his mental health and always thought it was, you know, drugs or him doing something that and there was no training for it, it was bad. Um so my whole goal of getting my criminal justice degree was you know to become a police officer and make a good change. Um, I ended up after getting my degree becoming pregnant with my first daughter. Um, so second, excuse me. So I was literally getting hired on um with Glendale PDE and going through that process, and then I found out me and my fiancee were expecting. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 6:03

Oh wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

I got away from that. Um it's gone bad out there. It's gone bad.

SPEAKER_00 6:11

Especially since the pandemic.

SPEAKER_02 6:13

Yeah, yeah. So I kind of steered away from that and then got back into property management and have kind of been there ever since.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

Um and what's this business that you want to start? What's your vision?

SPEAKER_02 6:26

Yeah, so my husband, he is super, I call him my husband because we're getting married, by the way. No choice.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

Uh you know, after we've been together so long, it's like yeah, wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:40

Literally, yeah. So he's a differential mechanic, and basically what that is, is it's like so if you're driving down the street, you see the lifted trucks, they have like the big things that are the the differentials you can see. Right, right, right. Yeah. So uh he works on those. He was, you know, working a nine to five at a shop initially, and he realized, you know, what he's making per paycheck, he could be making per job on his own, yeah. And then Hudson is so attached to his dad. Oh literally like the biggest daddy's boy. Oh yeah. So we worked really hard as a family to try and come up with an idea to get us home eventually with our kids. Um, so we're in the trenches of building that business right now. Um yeah, we're trying really, really hard to get that going. And the great thing about this business is the market's not saturated with differential shops. There's like three in Arizona. So Wow, yeah. We're trying to get so big that that's great. Yeah, with car stuff, yeah, you know, all of you're cars and all that stuff. So there's there's a lot of business, but yeah, we're trying to do it just you know, without loans and all that stuff. So it's been a little bit of a struggle in the beginning, but that's to expect when you're starting a business. So I'm just trying to be there to support him and to keep him pushing and uh keep seeing the vision in the end.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

But yeah, wow. Well, good for you guys. I'm excited to watch along and see that develop. That'll be exciting. Yeah, all right.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

Let's keep what are some things you're passionate about outside of motherhood.

SPEAKER_02 8:24

So there's a couple things. Um, first and foremost, I have really, really gained a huge passion. Um, and I'm sure you guys can relate for the neurodivergent community in general and advocating, right? So that's a huge thing, and that obviously stemmed from Hudson, of course. Um, one thing that I really, really love that came from this was it coincides with pageantry, right? So being in pageants, you a lot of times you have a platform, right? Now I would have platforms, but I was never necessarily passionate about them, right? Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 9:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:01

Yeah. I didn't really necessarily have anything that hit close to home. Like, you know, I could go and volunteer at feed my starving children, and all those things are just as important, of course, but there's nothing that like hit home, if that makes sense. So that's that's a huge one for me. That um, and then one thing, just to be completely transparent, um, I'm kind of finding what I enjoy in life again because I feel like I'm extremely consumed in motherhood right now, right?

SPEAKER_00 9:30

It's a journey, it's a process, especially, you know, when your youngest is getting older and now, you know, doesn't always I mean he's neurodivergent, so he still needs you, but it's like you're at he's getting older, so you're like, oh, now, and your other kids are older, so you're now starting to find yourself again.

SPEAKER_02 9:47

Literally, yeah. So sometimes when people, you know, ask me that question, I think to myself, I'm like, hmm, you know, and obviously, you know, pageantry of help with it too, right? Yeah. Another thing that I really, really enjoy um is public speaking, and I think I learned that from my mom. So my mom is a huge, huge advocate um, and was kind of my whole life growing up. So I just remember, you know, going to events with my mom and just watching my mom public speak about yeah, like the prison systems and reform for our prison systems and stuff that I'm passionate about. So yeah, kind of the things that you know people are like you know, not so sure about, which is public speaking and things like that. I I love them. Um me too.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

Yeah, I love them. MJ's getting you're getting there, MJ. She's doing a few, she's done a few more here slowly, but yeah. Yeah, it's not for everybody, or people want to do it, they just need to get the experience, right?

SPEAKER_02 10:49

Yeah, totally, yeah. Yeah, there's that. Um, I really, really enjoy what I do at work too. Um, you know, I provide housing to to people, right? And that's huge. Um, housing, you know, is is something that's really, really hard and difficult for a lot of people here in Arizona.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 11:08

It's it's bad. Um, so I've been in all categories of property management, you know, from affordable housing to one that I really, really enjoyed, believe it or not, was Section 8 housing, you know, because a lot of those, a lot of people like what you you're able to help them get a home. And that's what's better than that, right? Um, so I really, really enjoyed that. But yeah, you know, outside of that, I'm I'm finding myself again and what I enjoy.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

And I'm so glad that you're, you know, decided to compete again because you know, we had another Padre um mom on that said the same thing. Like it's after motherhood, it's a great way to find yourself again and do something for you.

SPEAKER_02 11:52

And it's so important because especially, you know, like hitting my age, being a mom, all those things, like we are so focused and so consumed in pouring back into everyone else that it's so easy to forget to pour back into ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

And it's but the crazy thing is doing pageantries, we are giving it back like we're doing something for ourselves, but we're also giving back to the community at the same time. It's crazy. We're still doing community work, but it's like in a different way, it's so hard to describe, right?

SPEAKER_02 12:25

Yeah, no, absolutely. It's full circle. You're doing things for yourself plus others, and yeah, it's yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:31

Then and then I'm sure MJ, you've heard us say it many times, it's the sisterhood, the fact that you're doing it together with other things, or if you're doing like public speaking for yourself and it's about something you're passionate about, like I guess with autism, you know, that it makes us feel empowered, right? 100%. So we're giving back and doing something good, but gives us feels empowered and that we're advocating for our kiddos and stuff. So it's just a sense of like accomplishment, right?

SPEAKER_02 13:01

Yeah, with pageantry, as we know, there's the good and the ugly to it, if we're being honest here, right? Yeah. And I've always just I've always, you know, steered clear away from the the ugly side of it, and I've always tried to revert back to the good side of it. And the good side of it, there's there's so like I just love when we go to events and we see one another and like we can just get together. And it's just it's such a it's such a big community, but it's also such a small community, right? Um yeah, I was out of pageantry for a while, you know, and just getting back into it this you know, short time recently, just like the amount of support that I've gotten and like everybody reaching out, it's like it's just awesome, right?

SPEAKER_00 13:41

And like for instance, um, you and I so I found out I was judging um the Miss Amazing pageant that we had Faye on, who won one of them. And then I found out that Kirsten was the was gonna be the MC for the event. And so like we'd never met in person, but we met on social media, and then so it's like, hi, like it's just this sense of like you may not know each other, and then you first meet each other in person at at an event, like at the same thing uh with China. I talked to her and then I saw her at a parade, and it's just like the sense of sisterhood that's just and like look at that, like through pageantry, I've had so many connections. I've been able to come on here and share their stories, whether they're moms or individuals with autism themselves.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

So well, and you won't believe too how much of like the neurodiverse community is actually involved in pageantry. Yeah, and I started learning that recently. So kind of similar to the Miss Amazing system and uh what mom T had going on, um, Lover to Death, um, I started it's called Shine in Your Spectrum. So it kind of has a similar concept. Um, and my goal is is eventually to make it to like, you know, like a talent show thing, basically. So one thing that I've done. Yeah, one thing that I've learned is, and you know, when I'm having conversations with people, I've learned like, you know, if I'm explaining my kids near to virgin or this and that, one of the first things that someone often says is, oh, I'm so sorry. And I've learned to turn that into a no, we don't have to be sorry, right? Because my kiddo is so intelligent, there's so many positive things. Um, for example, you know, the Miss Amazing system, it literally highlights all the talents and strengths and creativity of these amazing women.

SPEAKER_03 15:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:34

So part of Shrine in Your Spectrum that I created was kind of the same concept, you know, and sealing confidence, helping with professional stuff, you know, helping them get ready for interviews and things like that.

SPEAKER_00 15:46

So important. Yeah, that's so cool. Oh, good for you. Well, let's dive in and uh learn a bit more about your son Hudson. Yeah, all right, Angre, take it away.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

All right, when was he diagnosed?

SPEAKER_02 16:06

So in the beginning, it was a little bit of a struggle because we knew, well, my mother-in-law, I should say, knew at a very early age. I will say I went through the phase of denial, you know. At first, she wanted to wait a little bit to tell me, so she actually waited a while to tell me a couple months. She was she honestly knew at like I don't know how or if it's even possible, but she knew before he turned one. Like, she did she have experience with being around individuals with autism or not really, and that was the thing, so that's why I was like, I don't know, mom, like you know, yeah. Um, and so I you know, I waited a little bit, and then you know, once that was in my head, I kind of started looking for the signs a little bit more, right? And I don't necessarily know what those signs are, right? Because he's my first autistic kiddo. Um, so I joined some like autism mom groups and things like that to kind of understand, you know, what to look for and things like that. So I officially officially got him diagnosed at two, which was a blessing because I've heard a lot of moms that I've become friends with and stuff, you can't even really, you know, get a diagnosis until three. It's very difficult.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

Um, so kind of, you know, though I noticed it's changing now. Now I'm talking to wait a lot more moms through you know our podcast that yeah, I'm hearing more and more kids are getting diagnosed at two. When Jackson was diagnosed, it was like, no, we have to wait till he's three. Literally, I feel like that's starting to shift a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 17:41

Yeah, yeah. So yeah, the official diagnosis was at two, um, literally, like right when he turned two. I had that. Um, so we started, you know, all of his programs and stuff, and I tried to apply for all the stuff and go through the ropes of that. But yeah, he was officially diagnosed at two.

SPEAKER_00 17:58

Did um did like the pediatrician encourage you to get that evaluation? Or like, did you have to go and find it yourself? Like, how talk about that process with his pediatrician? Like, you know, are you going for those appointments? And yeah, they do those, you know, little tests, like, okay, the markers and all that stuff. Uh, tell us about that.

SPEAKER_02 18:20

So before I had asked them to give me the referral for the diagnosis, um, you know, we were doing our monthly checkups or whatever, just the standard. And I could always like tell they like wanted to say something. Um that makes sense, but they never did. They never did. Yeah. And so his pediatrician, it's a little different. Um, you see kind of different doctors each time you go. So maybe that has something to do with it.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:46

Um, but once I took him in to get the referral and I asked her for it, and I like asked, you know, for her professional opinion, immediately she's like, Absolutely, sweetie. You know, she's like, I can't like say yes, but she's like, Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 19:01

Yeah. So yeah. Well, that's good to hear that back up, right? That just kind of gave you that affirmation, like, okay, I'm doing the right thing by asking.

unknown 19:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

Yeah. And at that time, you know, honestly, I was still kind of in that denial phase. So I don't know a lot of like my family history. Um, I just recently found my biological dad, and then my mom was adopted. So my mom doesn't have a lot of her stuff, and then I didn't really have anything from my dad's side. Now, my fiance's side, there's not really anybody that we can think of for generations on that had autism. And as I was looking into like, you know, just everything, I kind of learned and gathered um that a lot of times if your kiddos has autism, it can stem from like one of the parents or like another, you know. Um, so once I recently found my biological dad, and there was no one on his side that he's aware of, we did like family tree and all that too. Wow. Yeah, there's no that was a journey. Yeah, yeah. So there's no one really besides HUDY that we're aware of, really, on either one of our families.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

And it's hard because when going back, like think about generations before us, like they're not gonna be open and honest about it, you know, if they did, you know, or they could, unless if you, you know, maybe like I hate to say it, but after learning with Jackson, I'm just kind of looking, you know, kind of the same thing, you know, okay, this could stem from somewhere, and you start your brain starts going, like, oh, okay, you know, this person maybe could have it. Right. And so, you know, if you don't see those people all the time and start going, mm, I just see them every now and then. So you you know, you just never know. Yeah, totally. Yeah, generations before us, it wasn't a con a common thing to even consider. No, and people like said, oh, autism didn't exist back then, yes, it did. It just wasn't as considered as it is now, like you know like there was a whole bunch of other like ADHD and I mean yeah, I feel like that's all like from the like 90s before, like it was just ADHD, ADHD. Like, yeah, yeah. And on in all fairness, it was maybe a little bit of both, or it was just autism, you know, or like I always tell people, like, obviously they don't use the word the R word anymore. Like oh, it better not. But you know what I mean, but like men, I I worked in the medical field, so like you would hear the mental retardation was a diagnosis code, like it, but that doesn't exist anymore because just think about how that's shifted and now it's more autism and just delayed, or you know, it's just we've come such a long way. But back then that's what they were called. calling it and stuff, but yeah crazy. That's a whole rabbit hole I could go down.

unknown 22:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:05

I've gone down a huge rabbit hole, you know, just trying to figure out like, you know, where, why, when, you know, just all those things, right? Because with Huddy being the first kiddo I have that has autism, it was, it was almost like, and I wouldn't take anything back. Um, but it was almost like a shock, right? Because it's like, oh yeah, whoa, you know, like there was yeah and I have friends, you know, some of their kiddos have autism and one will have it and then their next kid has it or like you know skips one and the next one. Yeah. It's just very interesting, you know, that everybody's situation and dynamic is different.

SPEAKER_00 22:44

And there's so much research still going on trying to figure those kinds of things out.

SPEAKER_01 22:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

Have you ever heard um MJ brought this uh to my attention it's a book. I listen to it audio. She likes the actual book books because I'm not a reader but yeah in a different key.

SPEAKER_01 23:01

It's like I think I have around here next to me.

SPEAKER_00 23:07

It's uh the it they talk about the history of autism and like the first guy that was diagnosed and there's a documentary also in PBS about like the whole case what's his name? Kate there you go oh yeah I like the audiobook I listen to the audiobook um while I'm working um but yeah it's really neat they talk about like the history of autism and it's just if you're into that kind of stuff it's really neat.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

Yeah no honestly when Hudson got diagnosed I was looking into everything because I also went through this of blaming myself phase right which as a mom I feel like it's normal right so I was like really like you know because you're not the only one yeah and I was just like what what did I do wrong you know and I was just I was I also yeah it just I went through this phase I just I didn't understand why and what I could have done differently but you know at the end of the day that's that's part it's almost like grieving kind of right like obviously honey's here but my whole thing was is like we want our kiddos to have the best shot at life right exactly um I was just heartbroken um and the struggle that I think I'm currently having is that he's he's still nonverbal and so like that part just girl there's gonna be and this is amazing for like our kids are look Jackson's eight Kai's five Hudson's three we've talked to some other people who kids are older and we've learned and it's like we can all give each other advice that we've learned over the years and you're gonna have different stages of grieving you know especially when our kiddos are nonverbal um especially when they hit certain like ages and milestones are supposed to hit and they don't accomplish those things or like you know Kai MJ's son is verbal but he has other struggles that you know Jackson my son doesn't have so it's like we grieve in so many different ways yeah and I'm sure you've heard this you're not alone and you know and um Jackson's eight and just now finally starting to drop so you never know like don't lose hope. One thing that's weird for me too a feeling that I get sometimes that I really don't like is you know I have a lot of mom friends right and so they'll like share milestones of their kiddos and stuff. And like the first thing that like resort that I resort to is like it's almost a sh a selfish feeling right because I'm like like good for you. Yeah but it's like it's not that's natural to feel that way. You know I can't I can't be that way but that's one thing that I've really worked on especially with my family too so my husband um has a sister and she has three kiddos and you know so we have a family group chat you know things like when we go to like Christmases or birthday parties and Jackson's nowhere near like because he has two or three cousins the same age like they were all born like months apart and he is nowhere near where they are at and it is it's heartbreaking right it hurts yeah and some of them you know they'll walk up and they'll want to play with him and he doesn't acknowledge yeah do you do you get a lot of why isn't he talking that kills me oh it's like how do you explain that to a kid you know so my family knows better um but kid but kids you know what I mean like you can't control what kids are gonna say and it's like they they're just they're wanting to know they're just they're just kids figuring out this world and you just try to explain it to them the best that you can for them to understand and I mean yeah yeah that's one of the parts too you know because Hudson will be at the store and he'll be like stimming or whatever and the kiddos look and I first resort to like you know thinking to myself like stop booking at my kid like you're you know like stop being a little stinker you know but they don't understand they're like what's what's going on and so I've really you know kind of trained my brain to to accept it and to understand that the people around them also are not in our position to understand or experience what's going on so it's very natural for them to have those reactions um there's a lot to it yeah yeah that's so true I it we all I think we all deal with it in different ways or the same ways you know yeah so hard yeah for uh his diagnosis you know to be honest I think it was called pinnacle pinnacle something I got like a develop was it a developmental pediatrician it was so they mainly focus on adults actually um but they were the only place that insurance would like cover to do him at two years old we'll have to find the name of it and send it to you guys it's a good resource yeah yeah for sure that way if we get anybody that asks yeah yeah I cannot think of the name I have a terrible memory I write everything did you did his pediatrician refer you to them or did you find them yeah oh go yeah okay they referred and then um yeah I I figured out without insurance that assessment is a lot yeah so I was very thankful for that yeah so uh what are some uh things that like your mother was it your mother in law um what are between her and you like what are some of the signs that you guys were like oh we we need to go get this checked out like not noticing his in name like what kind of things so honestly it was kind of weird and me and my husband this is kind of another grieving thing that we have so we look back at old pictures and videos between you know a couple months up to like eight nine months and like it sounds weird to say but like the way that Hudson acted during that time frame and did things it didn't seem like he was autistic at that time right and from what I've learned autism it kind of starts to show up you know a little bit later on yeah um so that's like it kind of hurts you know I look back and I'm like same thing there's nothing to me girl you're probably like the third person that's been on here that said the same thing.

SPEAKER_00 29:52

So it's very common.

SPEAKER_02 29:54

It's crazy. Um but I just I knew um with the eye contact thing that was a big one and then another thing I mean we're we're all guilty of this right you know at times letting our kids watch shows or whatever right I worked from home for a period so Hudson I started him you know on Miss Rachel watching Miss Rachel and he started to grow this obsession right ah um started to grow this obsession and at first I was like you know I told my husband I was like this is like I I felt guilty right because it's like I've got my kid obsessed to with like a TV show. Yeah um but it started to turn into like a routine like he would be upset in the morning if he didn't have Miss Rachel. Ah yeah so that was kind of something that now clicks you know because artistic kiddos what I've learned and gathered is it's very common for them to have a routine or them to have something that makes them feel safe. And at that time you know I didn't realize it and I honestly kind of blamed myself because you know a lot of times I would have to have him watch TV to be able to work. I worked at home I worked at home during the pandemic and Jackson was too yeah so MJ too so girl you're not alone yeah I say like we lived on the TV and yeah yeah I literally tell my husband sometimes and I even googled it I'm like did I give my son autism by like letting him watch you know this TV show a couple hours a day and it's no because think about it other other kids you know are other families are in the same boat and their kids aren't on the spectrum so yeah yeah no a hundred percent and I've I've learned that that's a hundred percent not accurate right but that's that mom guilt right yeah a hundred percent and then another thing this was this was the odd one um a little bit TMI but like he would want to like always reach in his diaper he started with that and then he'd want to eat anything and everything and I learned and gathered from his pediatrician that that was Pica. Yeah um yeah oh wow not just not just sensory seeking of like tasting it but actually digesting yeah yeah and so like diaper wise we'd have to keep him extremely clean because we'd find them you know trying to to eat you know what oh wow yeah so then I learned that gosh that would must have been challenging yeah and then so I learned that that was like an iron kind of deficiency thing yeah um which coincides a lot of times with autism um so there's that and then I don't I don't know I just it just once I got out of the denial phase I just I started to notice the things a lot more um wasn't talking wasn't hitting like his milestones really at all at all um he did crawl you know but it was like a scoop like he screwed himself yes Jackson like crawled with like one Jackson did the same thing like with one like leg and then he like pushed the other it's weird.

SPEAKER_00 33:05

Literally exactly we're gonna have to share videos and see if like they did the same thing.

SPEAKER_02 33:09

Yeah literally army crawl that's what it was um so he yeah he wasn't hitting any of his milestones at all and it was just little things little by little yeah I realize yeah yeah kind of and then now it's like we kind of as we learn more about it we look back and go oh that was that was an indicator but we don't think about it at the time right literally yeah 100% yeah yeah yeah how do you know what to look for if you never really know what to look for right literally yeah exactly right uh does he s experience any sensory sensitivities not so much I will say I've gotten really lucky this far I know a lot of kiddos you know sound stuff and things like that they need headphones and stuff like that like my friend's son um but with Hudson not really much um I guess really he stims a lot you know out of comfort but not not really anything sensory like it it's funny so we're a dirt texture yeah he's good with texture yeah uh so I think that it's it's funny the whole like sound thing where he can he loves the sound of motorcycles and cars right yeah so I'll tell you what like when Jackson was three he didn't really either um loud sounds didn't bother him but now what I notice as he's gotten older it's a lot of commotion that bothers him yeah and so just be aware that that may happen like if like the other night we had my parents over and my mother in law is here so we all were getting together for dinner for my mother in law's birthday and it was just too much for him and he needed his headphones.

SPEAKER_00 35:01

So you know so that we started noticing that happened as he got older and same thing with that school like he uses it more just to drawn out all that extra noise.

SPEAKER_02 35:10

Yeah um one thing and it's funny I think that may have helped was we're a dirt biking family. My husband loves dirt bikes motorcycles you know all that stuff so Hudson every day when he gets home he has to hear the noise of daddy's dirt bike and so when I was pregnant and also you know when he was young we would take him to the dirt bike track to watch daddy and so he's like really accustomed to the noise of dirt bikes and he he loves it. Um so that's a funny one it's kind of right now but we'll see I love it um all right well let's talk about a little bit about uh services and what kind of um services he had received and received so go ahead MJ so did he receive any early intervention services I know he got diagnosed pretty early so did you have to go through like the early intervention services yeah so we started him with um early intervention basically right after the diagnosis and that was a huge blessing in our life he had a BCBA um who literally was his best friend to understand when she was coming he would go up to the door he would look out the window um that's really really honestly when I started to see Hudson blossom because you know at home um I can you know try and do things and watch videos to work with him and all that but she when you're working right literally yeah and so when I was working at home she would come and that was the best because you know she'd play with him and just do all these things and then on the other side of that I learned right I would watch the activities that she would do with him that he really liked and loved and then that taught me and dad at home how to do those things so was he was that ABA that he got early intervention like he got ABA at home yeah wow that's cool so did he also get like um speech OT any of that so he didn't really start any of that until he went into his ABA program um because when you're in early intervention you transition out at or yeah at three at three yeah um I was honestly really really nervous for that um and they wanted him to start you know the preschool and all that but I decided I wasn't ready yeah because he started ABA and then they wanted him to do preschool and ABA and I was like I think he would benefit a lot more from ABA for a longer period of time and just the thought of them picking him up yeah no it scared me so yeah now he's in ABA right now wow so how long has he been he's been in ABA for about a year or so yeah right so he's benefiting just so so good from them um he's he's awesome his school is amazing um they're they're great he's learned so much he knows like it's because they have different themed rooms there at his tell me that he knows which room is which um as of recently a huge milestone and it like literally makes me cry is he's signaling for more like he goes like this when he wants more yay and so that's huge and then he takes me the fridge and he learned all that literally from ABA so it is it it works amazing and it's not for everybody right like MJ decided not to go that route because it wasn't the right route for Kai.

SPEAKER_01 38:59

Yeah he needed to be around more kids because it was just me and him at home.

SPEAKER_00 39:07

Yeah yeah yeah yeah and it all depends you know it's not needed for every kid and uh I'm so glad to hear that it's it's going great for him. And it's close to where you guys are located you don't have to go very far.

SPEAKER_02 39:23

Yeah it works out really really well with our schedule um it's is he there full time yeah he's there full time and that's you know after their assessment what they determine because they do you know the initial assessment and then determine how many hours. They were talking to me about a new like program that's got implemented where kiddos like that need extra help like they go back and work on milestones. I forget what the program's called um but they're working on trying to get him approved for that but nice they've done so they getting like speech and OT there like do you have therapists that come there? Yeah yeah so he started speech I've been really really trying to you know get them to spend a decent amount of time on speech because that's something that's really really been on my mind um just never hearing Huddy's voice is like heartbreaking you know um hang on that hope because yeah it will it hopefully it'll get there you know um I remember being in that exact same feeling like am I ever gonna hear his voice and sadly one of the first times I heard him say something was when we were at Phoenix Children's Hospital and he was going through chemo treatment and he went all done all done you know but but you know so it's like that was kind of like his first actual not just saying something but that was a natural communication word. Um so you know just hang in there know that you're doing the right things for him and I can't wait for you to have that moment where you hear his sweet little voice you know yeah there's been a couple occasions where his ABA school thinks he said something um but he's funny like he'll say something and then just nothing right after like he'll say it real quick. And so they'll send me like recordings and I've seen a couple of videos where I'm like oh my gosh he literally just said that.

SPEAKER_00 41:17

Yeah um so and then and then you can't get them to repeat it because it's Jackson still does the same thing.

SPEAKER_02 41:23

And I was like dude you just said it like come on it's always on their terms and the three words though that he has always said which you know is a huge huge blessing is mama dada baba.

SPEAKER_00 41:36

So he's always yeah he always says mama dad baba and lately he's just been like screaming mama it's been funny oh at least that can fill your heart with a lot of joy hearing that right yeah I definitely hope because that three Kai was still nonverbal and he's still to this day doing speech therapy so it it definitely it it works it takes time extra time but you know a lot of time that we've learned with our kidneys is that their milestones just take a little bit longer we would like to give a shout out to our graphic design sponsor MySpot Design do you need a standout graphic design or seamless website solutions for your brand MySpot specializes in custom logos, promo materials plus professional website design and ongoing maintenance to elevate your online presence today reach out at contact at myspot.design or go to myspot.design for more info. Thank you so much owner Lindsay for helping us out we appreciate you