S1 Episode 23- Mark Wilson: Part Two

Join us for Part Two of our Season 1 finale with special guest Mark Wilson — Amy’s husband and Jaxon’s father.

In this powerful continuation of Mark’s story, he shares more about the realities of raising a child with autism, the challenges their family has faced, and the lessons he’s learned along the way.

Mark offers encouragement, perspective, and heartfelt advice for other dads navigating their own autism parenting journey. His honesty, strength, and dedication to his family make this an episode you won’t want to miss.

Be sure to tune in!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:09

For sure.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

For sure.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

All right. Um, so how do you feel that raising Jackson has impacted our marriage? Do you feel like uh we've learned a lot? For sure. I feel like uh, you know, obviously going through chemo and all that, that was a real big challenge. And we had to learn how to uh communicate and you know, learn how to say, hey, this is what I need from you while I'm attending to Jackson. And um how do you think his, you know, raising a son like ours has us, you know, done how well how is it done uh for our marriage? Is it it's definitely brought some challenges, but I think also some positive things too.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

Yeah, definitely uh challenges, um, for sure. But I I feel like um, you know, from the get-go, it's like you have to have a good partner, um, and you have to talk and you have to communicate and say, hey, like, yeah, like this is what I'm gonna do, and this is what you are gonna do. Um, and then have like compromise in the middle with things, um, and then just honestly just knowing each other's role. Um, just that's you have to be a team, you have to be a team because again, it's not about us, it's about how we can make Jackson better. And like that's should be from start one. Um, and then you know, we we build upon that. Um yeah, we have you know, good days, bad days, most days are good, but it I think it's just be positive and always staying positive and not and then you know not conflicting what each other are doing. Um just try just keep trying to move forward and you know what can we do for Jackson essentially.

SPEAKER_00 2:13

Yeah, and I I think having our our moms help out with him is a big thing.

SPEAKER_02 2:19

Yeah, support system's huge again.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

We can go have our date nights, we can go out of town for our anniversary and stuff like that, and you know, yeah, it's I think it's extremely important.

SPEAKER_02 2:30

Like we take time time for yourself, parents take time from themselves. So again, like having that support system is huge. Um, not necessarily um not a lot of people get it. And if you don't get it, let's try to find time for it. There are resources where like, you know, if your kid is more functioning, you can there's places that you can drop them off and you guys can go do things and one on, you know, find time for it because you have you put so much time and effort into our kid that you you definitely gotta find time for yourself.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Yeah. And it's hard because I've heard, you know, some some marriages after a child's diagnosed with autism, they don't last because they don't, you know, they don't see eye to eye on things that they need for each other, or one person is like, he's not autistic, and the other one's like, no, he is. So um, I'm thankful that we both were on the same page with his treatments and the and the game plans and stuff. And I feel like I learned a lot from you. Um, and you helped me with some things like when I'm struggling with him and I need like, you know, I'm getting a little impatient whenever that he checks me, or you know, I feel like it's a it's a good balance. You you definitely help me, you know. Um when I'm trying, I'm about to lose my mind sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

Of course. But what are some ways you felt supported by Amy during both the autism journey and Jackson's leukemia diagnosis?

SPEAKER_02 4:06

Um, you know, just you know, Jack Jackson being he's he's a big mama's boy, especially in the beginning. Um you know, like the connection with Amy is well tighter than it is with me. It's hard. Um and you know, and it may change in the future, you know, as we get to do more things um together. So um it's nice, you know, that she's able to do all those things and able to comfort him and things like that. But again, like just knowing what what can I do, you know. I always ask what she needs, so maybe it's you know, I gotta keep the house clean or go to the store or things like that, you know. Maybe we switch roles. So it's just knowing like how can we help one another in the situation? Because I tell her all the time, it's like I wish I could comfort him more, but there's just some days I can't. He does it, it just doesn't work that way. Uh sort of just gotta go let him be him and let Amy comfort him, and and then what I can do on you know to help her, you know.

SPEAKER_00 5:13

And what I remember my dad always saying, like, you know, he's like, oh, when you know, when the Amy and her brother were kids, they wanted mom all the time, and then it like the roles like tend to shift, and you know, so I feel like now it's starting to sh we're starting to see that shift a little bit. Yeah, because I think he's realizing, oh, daddy can play with me. Mommy can't really play with me anymore, but when he doesn't feel good, and then like there's been a few nights, it's so cute to see him. He'll snuggle with Mark more now when he's ready to go to sleep. So um it's really cute to see that. I feel like it's just they're mama boys for a while, but that doesn't always last. So we get the first few, like the they're they're attached to us for the first few years of life, and then after that, it's like they don't want mommy's kisses and love anymore. It's like let's go hang with cool dad. So I'm sure if we had a girl, it'd probably be the opposite, because I've heard that that's how it was. I remember being clung to my dad, like no other when I was little.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

What about teamwork and communication as parents navigating autism together?

SPEAKER_02 6:29

Um, like again, it can be a one-way street. Like, we're both gonna have our opinions about things, and uh sometimes there's gotta be a a compromise to something. Or maybe again, one parent is really good at one thing. So it's like let's remind that person that they're good at that, but also in that same aspect, like what can I help you with? Um it it it again, we gotta a lot of times this can be a shock to people and they don't know uh even how to navigate things with uh kids with special needs. Like again, I I was pretty blessed. I a as a kid, I had an IEP, I was in special education programs because my reading and writing, and I had an anger problem. But I wasn't a normal kid in those aspects because I was a high-level athlete as well. Um, so I got to see and be around those those kids and help those kids. Um, so my direction to help Jackson is different because I've seen I had that experience when I was younger. And not a I don't think a lot of people got to see that or got to be around that when they when they were younger. So I I think that helps a lot when Amy's maybe super frustrated or something, and like, hey, like we just gotta maybe just chill out in this situation and let it be and let him cool down and like reprocess it, right? Instead of like maybe you have one parent that is just go, go, go, trying to be too much. Uh like someday she can be trying to jam too much down Jackson's throat, and I can tell in Jan Jackson mannerism, he's over, he's not back. He's like, I'm done for the day, leave me alone, let me be. And sometimes you're my you gotta remember it's like, hey, like uh generally, I think our children have the same um demeanors and and things like we do, so in body languages. So I think um if a parent is saying something, saying, hey, like I think he's feeling this way or this way, let's not make an argument, let's make it a compromise. So I think that's the biggest thing's talking through things, and yeah, there's gonna be super frustrating days. Um, but again, there's gonna be a lot more probably positive days than negative days, and if we can figure out how to talk away through those days, there's gonna be a lot more positive than negatives, I would say.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

Yeah, and then I think it's important that like we each have our own passions. You know, mine's pageantry, hers is jujitsu, and so we support each other in those things. And you know, that's I think that's really important any relationship, whether you have a kid on the spectrum or not. But it's just extra challenging for us because we have to think about while each other's gone doing those things, what you know, what is it like at home? Is he having meltdowns? Is he not? And you know, um, so then that's important too. And then monthly we have a support system that can help us. But like he was just in California competing, and so you know, I held the fort with him for a while, and then sometimes I'm off competing or doing events for passion tree, and you're holding the fort with him. So it's important to uh, I think honor each other's passions and let them pursue it uh to keep our cups full, and otherwise we're gonna run on E and we're not gonna be the best parents for our kiddos if we're not happy and fulfilled in other ways, right?

SPEAKER_02 10:11

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:13

What advice would you give couples who are raising a child with significant support needs?

SPEAKER_02 10:21

Um find as much support um as possible, whether it's family or outside sources, right? Um, I think you and Amy are probably both really good at finding other resources that may not be family, right? Um find it, right? Don't I I think the biggest thing as parents is let's not think our kid doesn't have something, like like right? Let's not be oblivious to it and let's try to give them every resource possible, right? And I think that's some parents fail is that they're they want to be like, no, not my child, or no, not this it being in so much denial can probably honestly hinder our children when it comes to their development and things like that. So find it, talk to people, um, and you know, just try to have the biggest support system that you can, whether it's family or outside people outside the family, because there are numerous people that will help you that don't even know you. Yeah. Um, so I I think that's the biggest thing is just try to go find it, you know, go find the right people and uh you know, go for it for sure.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Yeah. Um what are some things that you wish that like other spouses would um talk about more when it comes to parenting a kid's autism with autism?

SPEAKER_02 11:58

Yeah, I think we touched a lot of the points, a lot of subjects, right? Biggest key is communication. Um two is not we can't be one-track minded, right? You can't have think one way, and I can't think in another way, because we're probably never gonna meet in the middle upon anything. Let's take the positive of both of what we have and let's try to figure out how to uh make those two things work, right? And let's not argue or or like fight a bottom, let's find the compromise or the balance in it. Um I think that's key. Like we've reiterated a lot of things is you know, communication, and let's just do try to do what's best for the kid at number one, and then work everything up on there.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Yeah, so true. What is something you've learned about yourself through being both the husband and a father on this journey?

SPEAKER_02 12:53

Um, surprisingly, I'm a lot more patient than I ever thought I would be.

SPEAKER_00 12:59

Um he has more patience sometimes than I do.

SPEAKER_02 13:02

Because I was not a patient kid, I was not a patient kid at all, and I'm not really patient when it comes to certain things in my life.

SPEAKER_00 13:09

But you are with Jack said.

SPEAKER_02 13:10

Um but I think it's a lot of it comes from one, I grew grew up knowing this, to I've kind of like always been a leader in uh in athletics or a gym. So like I I think I really strive to put like the best foot forward. Um, and like my coaching experience. I've been a coach for a long time and I've seen all walks of life, whether it's kids, adults, or anything. So I think I've really good ability to adjust and adapt to people and being able to like listen to what they're going through or not going through, because I have a lot of life experiences, not just with kids with special needs, um, even you know, dealing with parents with addiction or family members with addiction and um alcoholism and being able to navigate through those and be able to talk to many different people along, you know, my 20 plus years of coaching, I think uh really, really helps for sure.

SPEAKER_00 14:16

Yeah. And I feel like you I love when I hear him talk about like when he does get to teach or coach and he uh hears of other kids, you know, maybe being on the spectrum or having other needs. And you know, uh, I feel like you kind of gravitate to you probably gravitate to them and want to help them.

SPEAKER_02 14:36

Yeah, I definitely gravitate to the children that I can see it that possibly maybe grow up in a rough home, or maybe are on the spectrum, or maybe you're the kid that's bullied, or maybe the kid that's a nerd in school. Um, yeah, I think I really gravitate to those kids because those are generally the kids that have so much potential to do something, but they don't have the support to do it. And that's me as a coach. That's my goal is to be able to break that kid out of the shell and turn him into like a really cool human being. It's it's awesome to do that.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

They need they need people like you, that's for sure. Because not and not everyone can coach or teach kids that have you know behaviors because of maybe a diagnosis or a condition or family struggles or whatever, it's not always easy. And there you go, you got patience for that too. Not everyone does.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

So, Mark, you've watched Amy advocate for Jackson every day. What are some things you've seen her do as a mother that make you especially proud?

SPEAKER_02 15:47

Um, again, she is patient most days. Um, but be able to navigate all his different moods, all his different things that he needs to do. Um, unfortunately, I work odd hour jobs. I have to get up extremely early. Um, sometimes I don't know when I'm gonna be off. Um things like that.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

I don't know what to be off.

SPEAKER_02 16:13

Um, or being able to navigate, like him waking up in the middle of the night and things like that. I can't always get up because I gotta get up within the next hour or two to go to work.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

Um, so poor Mark, because there's sometimes Jackson's up running around. It's three o'clock in the morning, he goes in the guest stream, and then Jackson comes in there full-blown hyper and jumps on him. I'm like, Jackson, no, Darren needs to sleep.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

So it's nice of again finding that balance where like she knows I gotta get those extra couple hours of sleep um to be able to, you know, get up and go to work. Because I do work outside, work in the heat, um, have exhausting days, some days and just grindings all day. Um, so I definitely commend her from being able to like allow me to be able to get those couple hours and things like that.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

Of course, of course. Yeah, it's not easy, but you know, I know that he's gotta go work outside. I don't have to work outside. And luckily, I'm blessed with working from home. So if I need to take a nap, I can and then make up my time later. So uh it's we've definitely figured out our like our balance and routine of of that when he wakes up. Um so you've mentioned that you can relate to Jackson's struggles and you understand what he's going through. Share a little bit more about how you understand or like why you understand. And you talked about like at school, you had some trouble learning and things like that. And I think your mom said you were a little speech delayed too. So you kind of understood that kind of aspect of yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:49

Um, as a kid, like I really struggled at school. So from the get-go, it was like probably class or two back, and then um it was kind of around the era, like autism wasn't really a thing growing up, and if you do were diagnosed with it, like they didn't have a ton of answers for it. So a lot of it was like AHD, ADD, all these other things.

SPEAKER_00 18:14

So I'm trying to throw medicine out there.

SPEAKER_02 18:17

Yeah, so it's a lot of medicine, a lot of this, a lot of that, and still like not a lot of answers. So um definitely was probably symptomism in there somewhere um growing up. Um, so I was able to navigate, I can vividly remember navigating a lot of these struggles. Um, so now when it comes to trying to navigate things for Jackson, I have a little bit of an easier understanding for it. Um, and then again, like since I was more of a mainstream kid and I was in the classes for like help necessarily, for my anger, for my outlet, um, I was able to help these other kids that the majority of them are in pretty rough homes, have rough upbringings. Um, you know, I'm a Letterman all-star athlete in in here talking with these kids, and they don't have a lot of those reactions. Um, they didn't, you know, get to be with those kids in school. So I was able to really like talk with those kids, help with the help with the kids and and things like that. So I I've always like had a connection with special needs because adult with it a little bit, but I've really helped um those people uh through life.

SPEAKER_00 19:31

So yeah, do you do you feel like oh I feel like you've I hear hearing you reiterate like stuff like hey, I know how he feels, or I know what that was like. I feel like that's helped me um understand a little bit more. And like hearing your mom say, like, oh, you know, well, Mark struggled with that too. So those are things that she was familiar with too, which having your mom be familiar with with some of those things helped, I think helped us too. And my mom, I she struggles with understanding some of those things. So it's like because she never experienced like you know, IEPs or you know, um, anything like that. So it's I feel like I've learned a lot from from you and your mom. Um you know, just with everything but Jackson.

SPEAKER_01 20:19

And how has that understanding shaped the way you parent him?

SPEAKER_02 20:24

Um a lot. Uh one, I think it still allows us to treat him like a regular child, right? So they're gonna get punished, they're gonna get yelled at. Oh no, you can't have that, right? Um, I I think it really allows uh us to parent like a normal parent, but then able to navigate his autism in certain ways. So I I think that's what helps the most is that I have experience like on both sides of the fence, but definitely having the experience of growing up like with a disability and things like that for sure probably helps the most. Yeah. Um because I feel like parents maybe want to uh seclude their child a lot, right? When it went at first, and I still think you have to allow them to have their own creativity, but also have like boundaries just like a normal kid. That way when they do start to develop, then it that aspect of being told no or you can't do this isn't new or fluorid. It's just something that they've done growing up from day one.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

It's a hard balance, I think, sometimes because he he knows what no means. He's a little I give in, I feel like moms, we just tend to give in a little bit more, but he's a little bit more like, no, no more popsicles. And I'm like, okay.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

another but that's just how moms are that's how grandmas are it's in our DNA do you think understanding you know um and and having the the perspective that you do shaped your relationship with Jackson like you understanding him a lot more coming from and but you yeah yeah I I think that definitely helps uh like and as he progresses to more mainstream and things like that if he ha if he's able to start communicating and talk and to have conversations I think it's gonna really help to be able like yeah man like I understand where you I I've seen this or I've been through this or done this or done that like I think that's gonna help a lot because I have answers and a lot of people a lot of parents may not have answers.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

And do you feel like like you when you're talking about you know being angry as a kid and how he kind of gets angry like it's just like emotions and you kind of feel and relate to it.

SPEAKER_02 23:01

Yeah yeah yeah I think it's the big thing is like not being able to communicate or come across a certain way. I think that's why I would get frustrated a lot when I was a kid. Maybe I was a little too smart as a kid, right?

SPEAKER_00 23:16

And because I remember saying you were bored in class or something like that. So which I think it can happen a lot with the kids autism. They can get bored if it's not interesting or you're like I already know this.

SPEAKER_02 23:27

Yeah yeah yeah so I I think it um definitely I can relate to like the anger or the buildup and not being able the frustration of not being able to communicate or get what you want across or being able to tell your emotion or whatever you're feeling. So I feel like that's probably why they think you're just like angry kid or like that's why some kids are like oh they're a bad kid in school it's like they're just having a hard time regulating their emotions right yeah essentially yeah it's hard um taught you about yourself um be patient um definitely be grateful for what you have and um you know don't you can't like judge a book by its cover and be very open-minded to like all walks of life like you never know what somebody's gone through or been through um that doesn't always define them as a person you can uh overcome a lot of things in life no matter what you've been through whether it's a disability or certain other things um I think you just have to have the most positive outlook um especially because there are people that have it worse than you plain and simple like we have a bad situation but there are well reverse situations um so you can't pity yourself on your situation I think you have to look at it again I've said it before like best foot forward right always trying to be one step ahead instead of pondering or asking why or just staying where you're at um doesn't help anybody doesn't help yourself doesn't help your relationship nor does it help your kid so I I think the best thing is just like have that positive mindset keep the right people around you and always stay you know one step forward how can I be better how can I be better at anything myself my job my kid life right yeah so true and how has becoming becoming a father to Jackson how's it changed your life um keep him uh more grounded more focused um for sure not doing crazy things I think it allows you to really like uh always keep on the right track always try to be a positive role model um in anything you do so yeah just it it it uh you know it really helps what used to used to do crazy things like you know window cleaning he would hang off the side of buildings in Vegas and these tall buildings and ride a crotch rocket things like that it definitely kind of teaches you to kind of slow things down and you got someone else to take care of huh yes he needs you yeah we both need you what is your favorite part about being his father um you know uh I think I said it earlier is the biggest thing right now is continue to see him enjoy things that I enjoyed when I was a kid uh I think that's the the coolest thing as a parent because like I envision a little bit like ever having a child when I was growing up and like oh these things and these things and like being able to see those things come to life and being able to see like his reactions out of them and the emotion that he gets and things like that. Um I I think that's the coolest part is really and also seeing him become like a different person each year and each development and as he progresses in school and speeches and things like that being able to watch him change and um get his own little personal attitude things like that.

SPEAKER_00 27:33

So it's kind of nice uh you know seeing those things out of the dead yeah and uh what are some victories big or small that mean the most to you like you said like him now probably talking some more now yeah I mean the kids of fighters through in and through around so definitely you know him going through his cancer treatment um that that's a that's a huge one right there. There was times like I felt like he was just so joyous that it was like you wouldn't if he didn't when he lost his hair he was still like you know up dancing around sometimes at events and if he didn't have a hat on or something he may not know that he was going through chemo and I feel like it taught us a lot of just resilience and watching him just still love life even though he had no idea what he was going through. Like yeah he didn't know like he doesn't like I can't wait for him to talk one day and feel like we could ask him do you remember going through that like you know because he can't tell us anything so I just wonder if he understood any of that.

SPEAKER_02 28:42

I've always wondered have you yeah yeah what gives you hope for Jackson's future um you know all the um resources that are out there now um all the developments that there are for uh autism we just hope you know everything progresses you know quickly and maybe there's some medicines that they may come out with or new research that um will really allow some parents with kids with osmos to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Um so you know the more awareness and research and people talk about it I think in the future the better it just helps our children. So again we just keep trying to do everything we can and hopefully one day he becomes this awesome little man and maybe driving a race car or I don't know a jiu-jitsu world champion or college somewhere to wrestle or play baseball. So um you know that's all we can ask for if not again we're gonna be doing something really cool that he wants to do that he enjoys for the rest of his life.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

So I think he'll be involved in cars in some way because he loves cars so much. I hope one day he gets to meet Armani that we had on that would be really cool. That would be really cool. Right? Yeah well before we wrap up with some ending questions is there anything else that you want to talk about that we may haven't touched base on yet we pretty much covered everything. Yeah um I know I feel like one of the other things that's probably hard and we don't have to talk a whole lot about it but um you know with with Jackson being nonverbal and not understanding is um when you lost your dad if like how you know how do you tell or how do you get a kiddo that's on the spectrum to understand something like I've always wondered does he did he ever realize that he was you know not here anymore do you ever think about stuff like that and how he him being nonverbal like we couldn't communicate with him during that time and oh yeah I definitely uh it it was really hard and I don't know I I feel like I could feel his Jackson's emotion um some days and I definitely feel like there are days that like he kind of looks around or sees a picture of he sees a picture of your dad that's the hardest yeah but it's just like I'm sure there's other families out there that might be going through the same thing where they've lost a key component in their family how do you tell a kiddo that's on the spectrum or how do you get them to understand that that's that's one of the biggest struggles of and even if they do can talk they sometimes don't understand why they're not there anymore. So you know it's that's that's I think one of the toughest ones too and um you know but we'll always forever tell Jackson who he is and you know and uh we look back at pictures and we see your dad having so much fun with him. Oh we did talk about this earlier but when Jackson was going through chemo we had a day where you my dad and your dad shaved your heads and then I cut my hair and donated so we got pictures of that so we've had some wonderful special moments uh that we like to capture through his his life and then we have London who's always taking photos of Jackson and our family and it's cool to have someone um that Jackson grew up with and understands his autism and we could do photo shoots together and they understand that.

SPEAKER_02 32:33

Nice nice yeah all right well what are some changes that you would like to see in the autism community that we may haven't discussed yet from just from growing up and you saying like you know they threw the ADHD out there and uh from where we're at now there's been a big change but is there anything else that you would like to see oh I still just think we need more awareness we need more research uh we need more people to understand like the difference it's not all one category a lot of times when we try to explain to people that our kid doesn't talk like they look at us like we're crazy. Yeah and like I think people there's a lot of unknown to that right like they think autism is like a kid maybe being a little quirky or a little different in ways yes that's one aspect of it but there are many more aspects of it and especially when it comes to the nonverbal non-speaking aspect of it I think a lot of people are very um just not having an understanding of that so I I would like to see more awareness to that and things like that. But there are some great things and you can see it in organizations whether it's you know the DB the DBAX or um NASCAR like uh and even basketball they all have sensory rooms are all accommodating to everything. So it's nice to see these organizations um yeah be more aware of of these things. I think one thing that we both are like I think fearful and worried about is like one day taking him on an airplane we're like we want to but we're like dreading like how is he gonna be in an airplane for a couple hours or how is everybody else going to how are we gonna be accommodated and treated um those things can be frustrating but again like we're not gonna get it one day and get through it and say they're gonna be a positive experience or not do it again. Yeah you gotta try at some point right yes don't know if you don't try yeah yeah that's so true if you could give a message of encouragement to another dad walking this journey what would it be um don't like don't be scared um I think I I said it earlier is us as dads we need to be the most positive role model that we can be for our children no matter their ability right um and then we have to find the positive in what they're doing and put our best effort into that uh you know I I I think a lot of dads are like scared or don't know what to do or just just want to give up because it's not how they envision their son or their life being well this is a hand that you're dealt and you gotta deal with it and either man up or don't but try to be there and try to be the best role model you can be uh and then find a network of people to talk to people don't be scared to talk to another dad that's gone through the situation or ask them how they're dealing with it. Find the resources as dads right um there's groups out there there's things you can do join a gym you know it doesn't always have to be another autism dad is some sometimes it's gotta be somebody to talk to um so well the autism society does have some dad meetups so yeah or if you're ever interested in one of those so yeah I just think uh you know uh as another dad um don't let it scare you go find the resources and put the best foot forward well you're definitely a great role model for Jackson and how to um handle struggles with life but still keep positive and uh yeah it's you definitely gotta be there for them right yeah they need you they need you for sure because they need their dads to um you know like you said they may want moms when they're under young age but they need their dads for sure um what's what's one thing you wish uh more people understood about raising a kid on this project um the challenges of everything right whether it's the food that they eat right the the the nonstop routines and consistencies the inconsistencies um things are gonna change um the I think the biggest thing is you mo majority people can communicate with their children uh at certain ages um you don't know when you're gonna get that with the kid on the on the spectrum um sometimes they can have a huge development breakthrough and then boom but other times you don't know when that development is coming very slow or it could be a very slow development so I just wish people had more of an understanding of like the balances and everything that we have to deal with and all the different challenges that we have to deal with.

SPEAKER_00 38:22

It's not just like a developmental delay um there's a lot more aspects that go into that so I feel like not a uh a lot of parents who don't have a kid on the spectrum don't realize like I feel like they almost take for granted that their kids can do all these things and it's like I sometimes I bite my lip do you feel like you do this too or like someone's complaining about something or whatever and I'm like uh but like you should be blessed. I don't know how much of a feel because I I do I mean MJ do you feel that way like when other parents are like you know saying something about this or that with their kid it's like yeah but like you don't have to go through do that you know not be to your liking but but at least your kids are able to do that you know and stuff and it's just hard for them to it's hard for I think other people to understand when they're not have not been around it. So hopefully you know our kiddos are are opening the eyes of other parents and realizing you know all right well is there anything else that you want to talk about that we haven't talked about well that you've covered it yes I know well we're we're done well mark thank you so much for your story with us today your honesty your strength and your love for Jackson has been incredibly inspiring. Yeah thank you yeah appreciate you coming on I know it's it's a little nerve wracking sometimes if people aren't used to it but you know you got so much to say and I know you've uh gonna impact a lot of other dads because um they're not always in the autism community you know it's usually the moms that are either out and about doing things or being the voice and so know that the it's good that the dads you know can feel some sort of like comfort and uh you know someone that they can maybe watch this and go, oh yeah I'm feeling that too and uh know that the dads are having a hard time with it too not just the moms you know both of us are feeling our own struggles and both advocating for our kiddos in different ways because I know you're probably out there advocating for him in ways that I won't understand or like when you're in your jujitsu community and you can talk about Jackson and bring awareness in that in that world um I may bring awareness in the page world but you know so it's you never know what a mom and dad uh can do for their kiddos is two different things. So thank you for being yeah we know that yeah because uh you know hopefully maybe next year we can get some more um dads on in June of next year but this is a wrap on season one because MJ's gonna have that baby any day now is any week I I'm gonna say any day now because it could be in like a week or so I'm hoping he still marinates in there a little longer I saw the picture behind the scenes of your photo shoot yesterday and I was like oh she was actually gonna pop really well anyone who sees me they're like are you not done yet yeah and he still has room in there apparently so because you're a tiny little thing but oh Billy well all right thanks everyone thanks again babe for coming on great job thanks MJ and thanks listeners we stay tuned for uh information on season two yes all right bye we would like to give a shout out to our graphic design sponsor MySpot Design do you need a standout graphic design or seamless website solutions for your brand MySpot specializes in custom logos promo materials plus professional website design and ongoing maintenance elevate your online presence today reach out at contact at myspotdesign or go to myspotdesign for more info. Thank you so much owner Lindsay for helping us out we appreciate you