The Other Half Podcast
The other half can be many things. Most of all it is your perspective, your narrative, your side of the story. We are here to hear the other half of the story.
The Other Half Podcast
Fatherhood, Failure, and Finding Identity FT. Ken
What happens when childhood lessons go untaught, leaving us to figure out life's fundamentals through trial and error? In this raw and revealing conversation, Kenny joins the podcast to share his journey as a father determined to break generational cycles despite growing up without consistent male guidance.
Kenny opens up about his transition from barbering to pursuing an HVAC certification—a decision driven by his unwavering commitment to provide stability for his children. Working graveyard shifts, caring for his kids during the day, and attending school until 11pm, he embodies the sacrifices parents make to create better futures. "I just want to see my family happy," he explains, revealing how his priorities have shaped his career decisions.
The conversation takes a deeper turn when exploring the psychological impacts of inconsistent parenting. All three share personal stories of searching for validation in unhealthy ways and making conscious decisions to parent differently than they were parented. Kenny's powerful insight that "inconsistency can mess you up real bad" resonates throughout this discussion on identity formation and healing childhood wounds.
What makes this episode particularly impactful is the vulnerability with which these friends discuss their determination to give their children what they never had—consistency, communication, patience, and financial literacy. Kenny's metaphor of growing from a "watermelon seed" to a "whole watermelon" perfectly captures the personal growth that comes from facing life's challenges head-on.
Whether you're a parent working to break generational patterns or someone still processing your own upbringing, this conversation offers both comfort in shared experiences and hope that with commitment, we can create healthier futures for ourselves and those we love.
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inconsistency sucks. Yeah, that really does suck. That messed me up so much in the head and I like to say when I was growing up that it didn't. But I was looking for validation, like from fighting people, like not saying like a fighting is cool, but I was fighting people just to take out my anger or whatever. And then it was like where's my round of applause?
Speaker 3:Ladies and gentlemen, hold on, let me fix my mic because I gotta give you an introduction because whatever we have to.
Speaker 2:Okay, guys, eric, are you talking? All right, my introduction we're gonna have an introduction battle no damn what's that welcome to to the Other Half Podcast. You feel me we got a special guest today. What they say on that? What's that? Shoot, shoot, cool kicks.
Speaker 2:We got a legend in the building. We got a legend in the building. But check it out, hey, pressing buttons on the board. But check it out, dog. We got a great father, one of my very first clients, um my brother, my dog, great friend, a great friend um a crash out, a real life crash out, barber. Um hvac and a future hvac input.
Speaker 1:and I, employee owner, you feel me, you feel me, you feel me, we speaking that in two three, four, yeah, yeah, no, I like that, I like that my boy Kenny, yes, sir, my boy Ken, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2:He trigger happy today Hell yeah. Yeah, welcome to the podcast. Appreciate it, brother. This is the first podcast you've done.
Speaker 1:I'm used to being in front of the camera. I'm used to be behind the camera.
Speaker 2:So it is different.
Speaker 1:And then you used to be behind.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what? Hey, welcome to the podcast man.
Speaker 1:Thank you, brother, I appreciate it, man.
Speaker 2:Hey, how's life in Arizona?
Speaker 1:Life in Arizona is beautiful. It's just been a struggle lately. You know life's life. But hey, you know, in this next year, this time next year, hopefully you give me guys, you guys give me back in the podcast, for sure life will be completely different, for sure, so no, but right now, you know, just living, living good, I guess, and trying to survive.
Speaker 2:That's what's up? How are?
Speaker 3:you everybody, I'm good today. Today, yeah, based off the last podcast, I'm trying to. You know it's crazy. So after I watched it, it's kind of like, okay, I'm aware of what I'm going through. I'm fully aware that I'm possibly depressed, I don't know why. But now I want to you know what I mean. It's like watching yourself back. So now I'm like, okay, I'm trying to be in better spirits and, yeah, I feel good today. I'm just tired, that's what's up, though tired every day I hear it which kind of goes into a wonderful today. I'm just tired, that's what's up though Tired every day.
Speaker 3:I hear it, which kind of goes into.
Speaker 2:It's wonderful, I'm never tired.
Speaker 1:It's a little hot today. It is hot today. It's too hot for this jersey.
Speaker 3:I like it.
Speaker 2:And I'm wearing jeans, you decide to not wear a shirt underneath.
Speaker 3:I had to check right quick.
Speaker 2:I had to check right. Quick, man. I'm telling you all right. So we got our icebreaker set, yes, powered by hella awkward. Shout out hella awkward, hella awkward. I didn't tell you this. You probably don't know. Anyway, hella awkward is actually a minority owned company oh, that's hard they sell them in target and amazon and all that. Um, I believe they're black owned and they're asian owned, if I'm not mistaken okay, shout out hella, awkward.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, read the card, man. All right. So today's card is parenting is hard. What should your parents have taught you when you were younger? I could talk about this all the time, kenny go first.
Speaker 1:Good, you want me to go first. What they should have taught me, dang, this is how much I go in my head. I think patience is number one Facts, because kids will push you to that limit, even when life takes you to that limit. So I'm kind of going through that right now. Life is just, I kid you, not every day. It's like a left hook, but I get right back up and handle my business, but you know I'll get hit with some life stuff, get home and then my kids push me to my limit. You know what I'm saying? I step on a Lego. You know what?
Speaker 1:I'm saying I step on a Lego and then my son has a blowout. But you know I wouldn't trade it for the world. My kids are my number one priority.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I love that. You know I wouldn't trade it for the world. My kids are my number one priority. Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1:You know. But I think patience is number one because I didn't expect I'm not very much of a patient person. I'll be real with you, I'm just not that patient. So when it came to my kids, I had to get on my feet quick and learn how to be patient, and I did that. So patience.
Speaker 3:Yeah how to be patient and I did that, so that's so patient yeah, um, I feel like mine is a lot of things, to be honest. I just feel like we don't have a lot. I know, I know my mom's like so what are you guys talking on the podcast? Are you talking about the family? Um, I feel like for me it was how to not react so quickly. That goes with anything kids. I'm quick to be like who did this? You know what I mean. And then I just assume with you two same thing.
Speaker 2:Just quick to react yeah, I done got cussed out for something I didn't do by me, everybody, yeah, by me. Huh, it was like april yeah, just I don't know.
Speaker 3:I feel like I just communication, actually, that's like the major, major thing. I feel like my family, especially coming from a hispanic family, mexican family we just don't know how to communicate. It's like if you get hurt, it's like get up, walk, walk it off that's what I remember hearing a lot or get over it. You know what I mean. So just communication, learning how to deal with certain situations. I just feel like I wasn't really taught how to do that that's real.
Speaker 2:alex me, I think it was I feel like finances. I didn't grow up learning. I mean I grew up without my dad and then I mean he's still not around, but my mom raised me when I was 17.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:She didn't really know much. Of course, now she knows a lot more, but definitely finance it how to save All that. How to save, how to budget all that. It's harder when you learn it later.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Because you already have habits that you formed. That's like when I was telling you that my manager said that her son, who's 18, turning 19 um, she already has him. Every time he gets paid, they take out 150 from his check and save it for him but it's like yeah, we weren't taught that. We weren't taught about credit bank accounts credit especially.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, I learned credit like three years ago. I'm almost 30, that's how I be you know, you're still young.
Speaker 3:You're not even past your 30s. No, I'm right on the edge of glory man you seasoned.
Speaker 1:I got two kids. I feel old. That boy seasoned.
Speaker 2:I'm Lowry bang up, bang up, bang up the beer gonna come eventually nah give it time give it time give it time.
Speaker 3:Oh my god, that's wild, that's crazy so how's barbering treating you man?
Speaker 2:it's uh it's cool yeah barbering is one of those things. Like when I started it, I didn't really care for it as much I guess, no, it's not that I didn't care for it. I wanted to do something that I would be financially stable, but over time it ended up being something that fulfilled me in other ways. You know what I mean. Like I'm out here talking to the, the youth, and stuff like that yeah, hold on, he's cutting out right.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah, you had to talk into it more. Don't turn away.
Speaker 2:Well, dang, okay, sorry.
Speaker 3:Make sure they can hear you.
Speaker 2:Cutting hair was just you know, it was one of those things that just it fulfills me now but I didn't think it did before. I learned how to actually talk to people and have conversations and stuff like that as a barber, so it's been cool, you know. You know you was one of my first clients.
Speaker 1:I was for sure I used to mess Kenny up dog. Hey, not let it happen, but I mean he's talking like he didn't have really good conversations. He had great conversations. Hold on, let me tell you how I met Kenny. Okay, here we go.
Speaker 2:He comes in the.
Speaker 1:He tells the story all the time. He would come in the shop. I don't know.
Speaker 2:He had a girl at the time. Come in the shop she was like yeah, I got a boyfriend, he needs a haircut. Can somebody do it? I said I'll cut him, boy. My boy came in the shop looking like Uncle Bernie.
Speaker 3:Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:Oh no, glasses. High socks, shorts.
Speaker 1:I think his shirt was red dog. Ah yeah, one of my first clients.
Speaker 2:He was like this haircut's fire bro, I was messing that fuck up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he was is that, uh, walmart days, when he used to work at Walmart, you told me you met him way before that that was way before that dang that was a struggle too in my life that's what he tells me when he met you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, y'all was in some stages of my life, y'all saw some stuff, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm like y'all definitely.
Speaker 1:Your grandfather right now? Yeah, okay, no, we ain't. We definitely saw that Shout out. I got a video actually where I'm over here hyped in my car. I'm in the beater.
Speaker 2:My car is like about to break down. I'm like look at the face. I remember that you used to have some of the most motivational videos I've ever seen.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you I'm very supportive of all my friends oh no, the one way I remember here we go get some nice butt.
Speaker 2:What he was like get a nice cut, get some nice butt. He said come get a haircut, but y'all don't support local businesses, so y'all ain't going to come, so forget y'all.
Speaker 1:I really was hot bro. I know I was really hot bro. That was a motivational talk, right through that turd left.
Speaker 2:You don't understand, you don't understand.
Speaker 1:You don't understand. So I started thinking about it as the video went. So I was really hyped, I was really into it, just because a lot of people told me, yeah, you know what, I'm going to go to you for this haircut. And all these people just disappeared.
Speaker 3:They never showed up again, is that the one where you're in the mirror in the shop I'm hot and my hat says save money.
Speaker 1:I made no money. Save money, walmart. I got that video. We don't need to show these people, we ain't doing that. You got to put that in there. That's going to be in the credits. Nah, I ain't talking to y'all for one whole week.
Speaker 3:Put it in the end. Yeah, I heard that.
Speaker 2:So what's today's topic, ma'am?
Speaker 3:I don't really have like a specific topic. I just had a bunch of questions to talk about.
Speaker 1:Go ahead, just do one yeah like even now.
Speaker 3:I just wanted to know. You know, I know that you're doing um hvac, so how do you feel like I think we have a lot we've always talked about this. I feel like we really a lot of ways like doing something that maybe you thought was going to make you happy and then it wasn't, and you just feel like, okay, this is not the route I want to go, let me do something else yeah and is it just about stability or is it also going to make me really happy to do this?
Speaker 3:So I feel like, do you feel like what you're going for now is what's really going to make you happy, based off you know, or rather than barbering? Or like what made you decide to do that, besides barbering?
Speaker 1:Like you mentioned, stability was like a really big thing. We'll start with the barbering thing. Barbering is like something I've been wanting to do. When I met Tino it was like, yeah, I want to do this.
Speaker 1:And then he really he gave me my first pair of fast feeds. I remember that I still got them. They broke down, I still got them. I still got them, though, and yeah, I don't know, like you said, when I got into it it was kind of like I just wanted to make some FU money, like whatever it's. Just I wanted to make some paper, but then I ended up falling in love with making relationships with people you know, and then I actually met man. I met Ken Griffey Jr. Like who knew.
Speaker 3:I would have met.
Speaker 1:Ken Griffey man. Look at that, you know what I'm saying. Like I'm wearing I met Ken Griffey man, look at that, you know what I'm saying. Like I'm wearing a mariner I got Ken Griffey's over there. Like I'm wearing Ken Griffey's right now. But, yeah, so I got to meet like people. I really looked up to growing up and I thought that was really cool. Like I said, I made relationships, but with this barbering thing I moved three times in three years.
Speaker 1:So I would build clientele and then lose my clientele, then I'll build it again, break it down again, build it one more time. My last time I moved back here to Arizona. I kind of found myself without money right away, but I had to build clientele right away and that doesn't go hand in hand together. So, um, you know, I was already not making any money and I couldn't find a job anywhere so I just said you know what?
Speaker 1:I'm kind of tired of being in this position. I'm almost 30 years old and making nothing. You know, all I'm kind of doing is paying for booth rent and my phone bill and my rent, and it's just like it's too much so. So I said you know what, let me just look up what I could do that I know will be sustainable. Crazy thing about growing up in my high school they never brought up trade schools.
Speaker 2:They always brought up.
Speaker 1:They do it now though. Yeah, I bet now, cause we're so like understaffed in trade schools. So anybody out there, I recommend going to trade school.
Speaker 3:Can you explain what a trade school is exactly?
Speaker 1:A trade school is basically a blue collar job and like it's a job that would never go away. So electricians, plumbing, hvac, that type of stuff, construction, and the thing is, even when everything shuts down in the world, we're still going to need these people because we're still going to need houses and stuff. So, and when COVID happened, I found out like okay, you know, barbers are kind of reliable, I can really slide to people's houses and stuff like that. But it was very limited because everybody was kind of scared to die.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but when I started thinking about all this other stuff and what came to be was I started after I left the barbershop. I did not know what to do anymore. I didn't have a job and it was like it caused problems at home and I was like, you know, I need just, I just need something to happen. And, of course, my kids are right there. I'm looking at them like, yeah, you guys, you guys are hungry, I got to get up and do something.
Speaker 1:All eyes on you, right? So it was like it became a lot on my shoulders, so I decided to do hvac. Actually, I took a tour to the college as just like a whim. I just passed the school and I saw it trade school. So I just busted you, went in there and I was like, yeah, I don't know if it'll work my schedule because I take care of my kids all day. So, um, they're like oh, we can work around your schedule. So if you guys, if you can come in at six o'clock, you'll get out before midnight. You just have it going on. So I went in there. I was like, okay, yeah, we can make that happen. I was like, but I just don't got no money right now. They're like sixty dollars a month and pull alone you're good.
Speaker 3:I was like yeah let's do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right then. And there um they. So they got me through every class. They got me through electricity, plumbing, car mechanics, and then they put me in HVAC and for some reason I was like yeah, that's the one, yep. That's the one. I did it and, oh crazy thing, congratulations to me. They gave me an opportunity to take my HVAC EPA license and I passed that first try and I didn't even graduate yet.
Speaker 3:Oh, my God, you need a little applause button there.
Speaker 2:That's the wrong. Oh, the mother button. There's a crowd that applauds somewhere in there.
Speaker 1:Oh wait, hold on my fault, my fault, my fault. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3:The bird. Oh my God, yeah, yeah, appreciate it, yep, yep.
Speaker 1:I'm very motivated for this, but if I just dodge the question, I came here for stability, but I realized that this is going to make me happy because I just want to see my family happy. You know, I think that's more so what I'm doing all this for. That's the reason why I did barbering as well. I love taking my kids to work. That made me happy.
Speaker 3:But I wasn't making no money, so it was a f**k wait. Like it was flexible yeah.
Speaker 1:But now, if I could just make money, yeah, I could get whatever they want to make. That yeah, because then you could spend more time and roaches. Hell yeah, rats. You know I am scorpion. Go on, we saw a big grasshopper out here, we just ducked off oh yeah, I'm scared of grasshoppers, of all all things.
Speaker 3:We ducked off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm scared of roaches. But hey, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get that thing. He's gonna turn into the.
Speaker 2:Terminator. Hell yeah, orkin.
Speaker 1:My teacher said he saw a rat Like it almost bit him.
Speaker 3:He had to grab that he had to, I said damn. I'm.
Speaker 1:Are you doing that? I don't know, mortal Kombat, maybe. I don't know, mortal Kombat, maybe what I might have to just chop it.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, Are there rats here?
Speaker 1:They got to go somewhere, yeah they got to go somewhere. Yeah, but roaches are big out here in Arizona man they grow big sizes.
Speaker 3:In Texas they fly yeah.
Speaker 1:They fly here.
Speaker 3:Well, no, they're big in Texas and they fly.
Speaker 2:They're big and they fly at the same time.
Speaker 3:And they got big rats.
Speaker 2:It's like New York. I don't want to hear that, Just saying I've lived everywhere. We can go to the next subject.
Speaker 3:No, I just wanted to know because I feel like, yeah, I can relate to that a lot Sick, but I think that's amazing. Thank you. Because sometimes one road is just not. One route's not the way to go oh, I got another story on that.
Speaker 1:I really wanted to say freaking. Uh, you guys invited me to church once. This is before I left barbering and this is actually what kind of motivated me quitting barbering. Um, the priest said he said god will just make you go a path, even though it's against the grain, even though you do not want to give it up. You're gonna keep going down that road. He's not telling you to stop, but it just don't feel right yeah man, until you go with, the grain just gonna fall okay, that's how I yeah we already know my story?
Speaker 3:yeah, because I didn't want to leave the store I feel, like I'm like I, and even now it's like I do miss what I did, because I loved what I did yeah that wasn't the issue.
Speaker 3:It was more of like when we were talking about this last time, I'm like I feel like I just brought a lot of what was going on in the store, though, with me home and I would come home just in a bad mood, or like I could have an okay day, but I would come home and if there's my gold spoon in the sink, I'm mad. You know what I mean. So I just I realized it was the job that was making me so unhappy, but also just other reasons that.
Speaker 3:I don't really want to talk about but but I did like the job, so I didn't want to let it go. Now I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulder because I am actually going to use my license.
Speaker 3:But, it's that thing, too, where to use my license. But it's that thing, too, where you feel like, am I doing this though, because I'm I know that, like he would want this for me, or like what this would make us really, really financially stable, or am I gonna be happy too, and I still don't know yet, because I haven't gotten that that routine yet of waxing and making money, and you know what I mean yeah but I definitely am seeing it now like I'm a lot happier, I wake up happier, I go to work happier, it's just a better feeling, um, but I don't know.
Speaker 3:I feel like god told me a long time ago to close the door and I wouldn't, and you would even tell me all the time yeah, but yeah, I get it, yeah, I'm happy yeah. I'm happy for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm happy for you too, dude. That for sure was a big pivot in life for both of us, for sure, and you holding it down too was.
Speaker 2:I forget, you Forget y'all. I hear you.
Speaker 3:Because you just always seem to have it together.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, I think you hold pressure pretty well.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do.
Speaker 2:I do, but look, speaking of the pastor. Hey, shout out, pastor Justin.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Today he was talking about your identity, and then I know you grew up without your dad.
Speaker 2:I know you grew up without your dad and I did too. Yeah, but check it out, he was. He was talking about identities today, about identities today, and he was like there's so many different identities that you could have based on how you grew up or whatever how life has treated you. However it may be, um, but it's crazy because we see so many like, even in a barbershop, we see so many kids that are like oh, I gotta be this because my parents told me I have to be this and this, this and this, and it's like you don't. Yeah, you know what I mean, but I realized that as a kid I grew up. You know, my mom always worked all the time.
Speaker 2:I grew up thinking that it was hard for me to be confident. It was hard for me to feel like someone wants me. You know what I mean, because my my goal in life was to be a father, so he was talking about how. He was talking about how. Basically, what is your identity and why did it become this? And it was because, like you know, when I was younger, I didn't have confidence.
Speaker 3:You know what I?
Speaker 2:mean. So he was talking about that today and I was like yeah, it hit home a lot, but I didn't have confidence because I felt like my father wasn't you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:a lot of stuff. I knew that from my father yep, but it was.
Speaker 2:It was a pretty good day it was fire.
Speaker 1:Sad I missed him. It was fire though.
Speaker 3:I know I thought about it.
Speaker 1:I was like I really wanted to but you already know my schedule busy right now.
Speaker 3:Yeah, hey, my boy Andre was there. Well, good thing it's on YouTube, yeah, so catch it, I'll definitely catch it, that's cool.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, it was a good message because it talked about a lot of stuff we've been talking about too Mental health and stuff and just feeling not, not worth it. Or like you just yeah, it's true, not worth it. Or like you, just yeah, it's true. It's kind of like the question we started with like you know, what could you, what could your parents have taught you when you were younger, that would help you live life happily and successfully nowadays. So now it's like we go through stuff and we don't know how to handle it. Or we don't know how to emotionally react, we don't know how to communicate. On top of that, we don't know how to save.
Speaker 3:We don't know right it's a lot of stuff and then be a parent, but yeah, just which one lost my train thought huh, which one do you think you were?
Speaker 2:he said the one that was the broken mirror, broken mirror. Broken mirror was you're like going through stuff. You only let people decide.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I hear you, you know what I mean. I get you what other ones were there, the other one was.
Speaker 2:So the first one was no identity. That was me. No identity because when I was a kid, I felt like I didn't have an identity. I didn't know how to do this, I couldn't think for myself, whatever my homies were doing, I would do it.
Speaker 3:So how are you able to do that now?
Speaker 2:Because no one would ever guess that, knowing you, because when I turned 18, no, when I turned 18, all the way until 22, I was like that Went out there and visited my brother. He made me confident and then I met my wife. Aww.
Speaker 3:I was gonna say so, cedric. Oh f*** he pressing the wrong button.
Speaker 2:I don't know about you.
Speaker 1:I like this so much yeah.
Speaker 3:I just feel like no one I mean, I don't know any things, but I just feel like no one would ever guess that Because you are super confident, you know how to save.
Speaker 2:So when I went out there at first I was like he gave me confidence, but it was too much, so I had to do that yeah. Because, if you know my brother, he's confident.
Speaker 3:Shout out to Cedric.
Speaker 1:Cedric is confident.
Speaker 3:Oh, my God, I got Shout out my brother. He's like super duper confident.
Speaker 1:I don't really got stories on him, but every time I was out he was out, yeah.
Speaker 3:That's how we met, because he was out, I'm telling you?
Speaker 2:No, that's how it was, though, and then you know, I met you and got humbled a little. You know, mm-hmm, you know how do you say that, that you know why no, I don't, I was just, it was just like I seen, I don't know, I was just humbled.
Speaker 3:You know we went through stuff that okay, in our life not in our relationship necessarily, no, just in our life. Yeah, you know, well, we both had nothing. Yeah, we got evicted but I was.
Speaker 2:That was the first mirror at church right. First one was no identity.
Speaker 3:Second was like I guess it was like a misguided identity, right yeah, well, just everyone telling you that you should do this, you should do that right, instead of what really makes you happy.
Speaker 1:It's like your friends.
Speaker 3:Okay, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:And then the last one, or the, the second, the third one was the broken one and the fourth one was the perfectly fine mirror. That one, it's where you're supposed to be oh, okay, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I definitely relate with no identity, that's for sure, for sure for sure? Yeah, I definitely was surrounded by a lot of people that I shouldn't have been yeah you know and I just try to please them realize like, oh, dang, I'm not happy. Oh, okay, let me go here, then you know. Like you said, though, it's like by the time I hit like 23, 24, I started realizing like, oh, I know who I am, yeah, but like I've come so far, now I gotta rearrange my life right, yeah, I feel you yeah that's where I'm at, like 36 and still fit.
Speaker 3:I I'm still figuring it out, are you? 36. I know y'all. Oh, bro, I know. So, if anything it's, it's me. Yeah, I'm still figuring it out.
Speaker 1:That's fine. That's most people in this world anyway, I figured it out now you know right, instead of 55 facts I know bro, I know a.
Speaker 2:I know a dude. That was when I first moved here in the barbershop. He was like 50 something. He's like man ain't nobody trying to put me on from chicago. They ain't trying to put you on out here. I'm like bro, put you on the what you're 50, bro. Like you're trying to be in the streets. Still, what are you talking about? He was dead serious trying to be in the streets. He's like they ain't trying to put me on, bro. Well, you are three days away from a seizure or a coma or whatever. Like you're old, bro, a bad cough away, bad cough away. Exactly, you catch covid, you might. You gotta stay in the house for once.
Speaker 1:That's one thing about Arizona. Arizona got too many people that are not from Arizona. That's facts. You might step on the wrong toes without even knowing. Yes, that's true, you might say good morning, and somebody would tell you like what that mean. I was at Winco I said nah, I'm straight. I was talking to the mother of my children. I was like nah, I'm straight. This lady says you're not from here. Huh what. I said what do you mean she's like we don't say that here?
Speaker 2:I said okay.
Speaker 1:I was like I'm confused and she's like we just don't say that. And then turned around and walked around, walked away. I was like, okay, damn, arizona is different. She must have took it that old lady was about to slide you. No, no, she was. She said it with a smile. I was just confused. I was looking at her like what that mean but then again, you know, you never know. Throw you down the aisle. You never know, man but do you feel?
Speaker 3:like you've had. You've been able to have more growth being in arizona like definitely would you recommend living in Arizona. I would definitely.
Speaker 1:But if you're very small-minded, don't come here.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1:Unless you want to build who you are as a human being and your career, do it and feel the pressure. Right, because you're definitely going to feel the pressure.
Speaker 3:Yes, because there's so many successful people around you and it feels like everybody is trying to do something.
Speaker 1:I think Arizona is the third best state to become a millionaire, or third state with the most millionaires that start their own business. I think that's a statistic. I could be wrong, though.
Speaker 2:My boy says it's a statistic.
Speaker 1:I got a little bit of my fault Statistic.
Speaker 2:You got me saying it wrong.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, yeah, if you want to move out here, just know there's pressure to it, but you could definitely become successful. Facts I married a few millionaires and that's just by walking in the street.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Streets. I was trying to get put on Facts. Trying to get put on bro Facts.
Speaker 3:He's like the pursuit of happiness.
Speaker 1:I'm Will Smith Dang. I do got a question for you, though. You mentioned that you didn't grow up with a father, and how did that help you become the father you are today? Because I see your kids happy. My kids are mean. Yeah, they are. Yeah, for sure April, for sure man.
Speaker 2:No, you got to get to a point where it's like what do you want in life, right? And most of us who didn't grow up with a father the pastor was talking about this today Shout out, pastor, justin, how you dang. I just lost my train of thought.
Speaker 3:I know you're going to have to cut you grow up right With without a father, and then Basically, you grow up without a father, so you may have somebody else in your life that is trying to be that father figure for you, or it could be your friends you know, and then they lead you down the wrong path or they tell you what you should be doing with your life and then you just never really figure out who you are, because you're living off of everybody else's opinion of what you should be doing so for me it was, I should have went to church today
Speaker 2:yes, it was, I should have went to church. I almost crip walked, but no, it was, uh, I think, growing up without a father. I wanted to be a father since I was a kid, and when you want to be a father, you just that's your goal. You know what I?
Speaker 2:mean whatever happens, happens like I know cutting hair is cool. Being a father, as long as my kids can have everything they want, I'm good. Yeah, like I don't care what happens as long as my kids are happy. Yeah, that that was my deterrent, like that's what made me want to be a better father, giving my kids whatever they wanted.
Speaker 3:That you didn't have Just doing everything I didn't have.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know what I mean, because I got other siblings. Their father wasn't in their life. You know what I mean, so I have to do what I can for them as well. But then, you have people also who grew up with both fathers, or you got people in your life that grew up with both people in their family, in your. You know both your parents rewind, rewind you got people in your life like do you?
Speaker 3:you have people that have no oh, that's not what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:This is right this is the problem right here. You got people in your life right, so you have both parents. Sometimes, when you have both parents, you don't accept responsibility the same because they're like, oh, I'll do this for you, I'll do this for you. So you have to learn somehow how to get responsibility right when you don't have a father. It's like I have to do this or else it's not going to work. I have to be better than this person or it's going to be worse. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's how it. That's how I look at it sometimes, because I know plenty people both of their parents in their life. They're they're, they feel like they're. What's the word when you're like you have everything entitled, they feel entitled.
Speaker 3:They feel privileged.
Speaker 2:They feel like they don't need to work for other people but those same people, if they're a single child or only child, they're always afraid to have kids. And that's insane to me because you know when you have siblings, you grow up sharing, you grow up knowing what it's like to fight with your sibling and all that. I cut some people and they're afraid to have kids Damn. So I'm more happy that I didn't grow up with a father than ending up like some people like that. I hear that Because I feel like a lot of people are afraid of pressure.
Speaker 3:Yeah, or they don't handle it well, I am.
Speaker 1:Pressure sucks.
Speaker 3:Yes, I am, it pushes your limits.
Speaker 2:You got to know you're going to be good, though, right.
Speaker 3:But if you don't have the confidence, that's something I've always struggled with. I don't always have the confidence, like people think I do, to do something. That's why, for me, being a waxer, I don't really like to have conversations as much as I like to talk. I don't really know how to have conversations with people.
Speaker 3:I'm not a people person Like you know what I mean. So for me it's like that's scary. It's scary when I think about it every time, that I think about me going into waxing again, that I'm going to have to have again, that I'm gonna have to have, I'm gonna have to form relationships. And how am I gonna like separate, being fake and being genuine, because they can see that a mile away. But if you're not somebody that is like that, that likes to be a people person or form relationships, that's, it's tough, it feels like pressure, it's like, okay, that's when I'm saying like am I doing it because of the money and because I'm good at it, or is it all three? I feel like you do. I feel like you have to fake it all the time.
Speaker 2:This is why people be like oh, I think so-and-so is going to win, or I'm a big Laker fan, or I support whatever president I support. I'd be like that's what's up. And then I move on to the next subject. Yeah, but I'd be like, oh yeah, oh, that's crazy. Anyways, you just got to, but no, when you get in the field and you start finding the people, or people start finding you that want to find you, it's cool.
Speaker 1:It's wonderful Like you cut hair before you find people. That's cool. I definitely found my little group of people.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:They're really cool.
Speaker 1:Facts, but Yep yes. Really cool Facts, but that comes with time too. Like he mentioned too, he was just in it, just to be in it, and then he learned to love it. That's how I was too. I was kind of just like I want my money.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I feel like that's me.
Speaker 1:I just wanted to go to work, just to talk to the people. Facts.
Speaker 3:I know that's a weird thing to say.
Speaker 2:I know you can make it easier on yourself.
Speaker 3:It doesn't feel like work after a while yeah, it definitely didn't I have good days every day I know you always say that I'm just cutting hair man he always says that and I'm just like I don't have bad days I know I, I don't know how it's just.
Speaker 3:It's just who I am it's a good life, like the other day he said. He said what did you me? You're like, what do you want to do? You asked me what I want to accomplish or whatever. I was like I don't know. Then I said what do you want to accomplish? Literally, you said I've done everything that I wanted to do. I've lived my life. Now I'm just worried. I'm focused on what you need to do To get Like. I've lived my life. Now I'm just worried. I'm focused on what you need to do so to get to that point. That is the goal.
Speaker 1:I want to get to that point. Yeah, you'll get there eventually, yeah, for sure. Yeah, you'll get there.
Speaker 2:All right, I got a question for you Because in the group chat you know the group chat me, Liddell Tez, Darius, all them guys, Shout, guys, shout out to group chat. Shout out to group chat brandon all them, my cousins, joe. Um, a lot of us didn't grow up with fathers, so there was a question one time and we were. We had some conversations. It was like who had it worse?
Speaker 3:oh, it was bad right.
Speaker 2:but it got to a point where, like, do you Taz asked a question? Do you think it's better for your parent to have never been there in the first place, like let's say they passed away, or do you think it's better if they come in and then they leave? You know what I mean. If they're just inconsistent Both of those?
Speaker 1:That's a good question, yeah we all three here are something yeah yeah, so, um, yeah, my little situation is weird with my parents, but, um, inconsistency sucks, yeah, that really does suck. That met, that messed me up so much in the head and I like to say when I was growing up that it didn't. But I was looking for validation, like from fighting people, like not saying like a fighting is cool, but I was fighting people just to take out my anger or whatever. And then it was like where's my round of applause, right? Where's my homies saying good job, right. But it was like why? And now that I'm older, it's just all of it sounds so stupid, but it sounds so stupid. But, like I said, what happened with me or my parents? Anyway, they split up and they just had their relationship and they kind of just held grudges versus each other, right, how?
Speaker 1:old were you when they split up? When they split up, I was about one or two Dang.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, that's kind of like Growing up. My dad tried, right, my dad tried With the phone call. I never saw his face. I couldn't put a face to the voice, right, but like my mom would talk good about him and then bad about him. And then I'll be on the phone with my dad and then he'll talk good about my mom but then bad about my mom, right? So I'm confused, like which side am I on? But the whole time they're, they got this little revenge thing going on, but I'm in the middle. It was kind of it kind of felt like they were looking at each other but never at me, right, you know it's like, but it is what it is.
Speaker 1:Now, now that I'm older, my mama, my mama knows like, hey, you know, like I'm sorry that happened, right, I really am like I just want to take care of you now, right, but, and the whole time I'm trying to take care of her, like that's what this whole age back thing is too about. That's cool. But, um, also, my dad came back in my life. He don't live too far from here, live like an hour from here, and he's like I told him, um, I just want him in my kid's life now, since he got taken, since I was taken away, right, I just want you in my kid's life right, and he's all on board. So I think it came around full circle. Yeah, that's for sure, but I definitely had to check my parents.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, you know what I'm saying, like my kids now are on a pedestal, they're never going to have to go through anything like that, even if me and the mother of my children do go through something. If that were to happen, we're still going to be cordial with our kids, that's for sure. Yeah, um, do you feel like he's?
Speaker 1:consistent with them, um, as much as you would like him to be, as much as I would like him to be, just because, um, like I said, I got a busy schedule right now so even if you tried ways, yeah, even if you tried I wouldn't be able to let you in, you know, but like when he, when there's opportunity, it happens yeah that's cool. I'm very proud of.
Speaker 2:That's cool. I'm very proud of it, that's cool. Yeah, I think I dealt with a lot of inconsistency, but I do think, as far as like, if my parent were to pass away at a younger age, I feel like you would always look at that as like the reason to do better. But for us it's like the inconsistency sometimes. Or I know, for me it was like the inconsistency sometimes. Or I know, for me it was like my dad just show up, then he not for a long time, and then you try to show up again and I'm like, bro, the older you get, the worse it gets.
Speaker 2:So I think it would have been easier had you dealt with a parent that passed away, because it's like, oh, I'm gonna do better for this person, I'm to do better for this person, I'm going to do better for this person. My dad would be happy, my dad would be. You know what I mean. Yeah, but then you have a parent that's living and they're doing terrible by you. So it's tough, yeah, definitely, but I think, I don't know, it's a rough one.
Speaker 1:That is a rough one. Just to add context to that question if your parent were to die, in what context would it be like?
Speaker 2:You already don't like that parent or you like that parent. I'm at an age where I wouldn't care. Okay, I hear you and that sounds messed up, but it's to the point where I'm at peace with the situation. This is who you are, this is what you do. I'm cool with the point where I'm at peace with the situation. This is who you are, this is what you do. I'm cool with that. But I'm not going to allow that. Right, I accept you for who you are. I'm not going to allow that from my kids. Yeah, I'm not bringing inconsistent people around my kids, and that's because I've seen what it's done to me.
Speaker 3:You know what?
Speaker 2:I mean, and that's inconsistency can mess you up, it does bad, bro, real bad. And I mean even you know Erica sees it all the time.
Speaker 3:So yeah, that's why. Yeah, that's why their biological father is not in their life. And I had to make that tough decision because I think about it every day like, am I really doing the right thing by keeping him from them, or am I doing what's right? I talk to Avery about this all the time because I'm like sometimes I feel like I'm supposed to be. You know, like when I think about God, I'm like I'm supposed to be. I'm supposed to love everybody and forgive everybody, and I don't know that I've ever forgiven him. And he was like well, you know, you could forgive people and just not deal with them, but I do that so much already. That's why I don't really have a lot of people around me, because I do that, I forgive, and then I'm like okay, but I don't want you around me.
Speaker 3:So with the kids, it's like I didn want consistent inconsistency in their life, because he did that when they were just one, and two, and that that's when I met avery, um, and now that they're getting older, I'm sure that they're getting more curious because, um, it's like my situation, me wanting to know who my mom was, who my real father was. You know, I wanted to know who I looked like. They're gonna be curious and want to know so but see with me, it's like my real well, not my real father, but my real father. Yes, he exists, but he's never. He's not around. I've never met him. Then it's like I had a father that supposedly raised me till I was three and then he passed away. Never knew him.
Speaker 3:That doesn't affect me at all I don't feel anything for it, just like I don't feel anything for my father, who is alive but he's not around. Then I only had a mom, but my mom had to work three jobs, go to school.
Speaker 3:Barely saw her, barely saw her, not because she didn't care, but because she was trying to provide and take care of us. So for me I feel like um I that really affected me a lot. I think certain situations affect you in different ways and different reasons. Y'all have very similar situations of why and inconsistency I see with my, my daughter's father. That's why I don't want that in their life, but also because I didn't have that consistency also, I didn't have a father figure. That's why I looked for love in boys. That's why you know what.
Speaker 3:I mean, so you make really bad decisions when you don't have a father around at all. As a woman, I think it's just you look for love in in all the wrong places and then having a parent that's always working all the time, and, yeah, I would just kind of do whatever I wanted. I have a father to put his foot down and tell me, hey, you need to come home, or you know what I mean. So I think either way it's still bad.
Speaker 1:I I feel like it's just as bad, age back is cool, it's so cool. I met some really cool people that, uh, they're not gonna let me fail. There's a couple times where I was like I can't do this anymore, I'm done, I can't do it. I can't do it, no more. My schedule starts at 1 to 2 am and ends at 11 pm. Repeat, so I only go to sleep. I go to sleep at like 1130 and then wake up at 1 30. Repeat my whole day again for seven days a week. Wait 11 30 am, 11 30 pm and then I wake up at 1 30 am and why I'm telling you?
Speaker 1:because I, uh, I go to work at in the morning I do a graveyard shift and I get off around like 9 or 10 and then take care of my kids all day until like 5.30. And then I go to school from 6 to 11. Get home around 11.30. Try to go to sleep as soon as I touch down. That never happens.
Speaker 3:How long do you have to do that for?
Speaker 1:I do that for about I do that until July, end of July, but I do that every day, about six or seven days a week. So you graduate in July, end of July Are you going to have an actual graduation. Yeah, that's what they said. I just man, I just hope it's a big ceremony. I saw videos, but videos are like in California like. Nevada like where's Arizona stuff I want to see? I see one Arizona ceremony.
Speaker 2:Is y'all class big?
Speaker 1:It's about to be what? Arizona ceremony yeah, is y'all class big it's about to be. So what does that mean? So we got to pass a prereq. So it'll be like two classes which will be like two months, and then you go into a bigger class and you kind of merge with another class.
Speaker 1:Luckily, the class that we merged with was only like four people, so it became a total like eight to ten people. Yeah, the class that's right behind us next month is going to join us and that was like an additional ten, so it's going to be a whole big class. That kind of sucks, because the smaller classes meant more hands-on. Now we're just going to be doing rotations, now I'm just going to be waiting. It's like okay, can I touch those refrigerant or not?
Speaker 2:Dang you working on a refrigerator, fix my refrigerator I can do that.
Speaker 3:Or microwave. I can do that. I'm EPA certified.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:Certified.
Speaker 1:But just think about it.
Speaker 3:So after what? July? Yeah, you'll be able to, just it'll be so different. Yeah, way different the rest of your future is going to be exactly what you want it to be. All the hard work will pay off.
Speaker 2:It's going to sound like this no, I seriously like.
Speaker 3:I commend you so much because there's not a lot of fathers that would do what you're doing at all. Like you need to be. I've told you this before, but you really do need to be proud of yourself.
Speaker 1:I really am. I be proud of yourself. I really am. I wasn't at first and I was like man, why'd I quit? I quit barbering. You know, when you're looking at myself in the mirror like man, I want to break this mirror right now. I can't believe I did that. You're sick, huh? I'm licensed in two states, still, still the only person got a license in washington.
Speaker 1:I still got a license in washington. Why you don't want to go back? I'm never going back. Never, it's too small, like I said. Back to the mindset thing when I was living over there my mind was like a watermelon seed. Now I'm out here, whole watermelon.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying he's a whole watermelon, a whole watermelon that boy grown it up, the big one's, not the little small one.
Speaker 1:That I'm telling you I'm thinking different now. I'm not thinking small anymore. Facts. That's just how I am. I love that, but I'll never move back to Iowa. That's not the plan. I never heard anybody say that, that they would do that. Facts I never, heard anybody say they would do that.
Speaker 2:Facts Mm-mm. Well, all right, it's about that time, cuz. Oh man, thank you for having me, buddy, it's about that time, thank you. Thank you, man, you know, appreciate you. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1:Hopefully I get back on the podcast in like a year or two.
Speaker 2:A year or two in progress. Yeah, we want to know where you're at. You know that'll be season like three for us. Hold up in a Hellcat. Maybe We'll see though.
Speaker 3:Uh-oh.
Speaker 1:Okay, lambo Lewis, whatever, all right.
Speaker 2:Well, that's the end of this video.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:Podcast, whatever. Hey, I've been doing YouTube all day. I know I've been doing YouTube all week, so I'm used to saying video. The end of this podcast. Anything you want to say, ma'am?
Speaker 3:No, just thank everybody for watching. If you guys have any suggestions for anything you want us to talk about, let us know as you can see. We're very open, so yeah, thank you, kenny. Thank you so much for having me you're very inspiring and I really appreciate you and we love you so subscribe and follow the podcast, and that's it.
Speaker 2:You ain't even gotta like it, no more. I'm asking y'all to do too much, so alright, catch y'all in the next one.
Speaker 3:Bye, peace, peace, peace Peace.