How Much Past Is Too Much? Trust, Identity, And Choosing Each Other

New year energy hits different when you’re still catching your breath from December. We open up about the emotional clutter of the holidays and why so many people crave a clean slate. Then we dive into the hot-button question: does body count matter? We go past the surface takes and talk honestly about safety, transparency, and what it means to date in a world where people aren’t always upfront. From testing together to drawing real boundaries, we share the steps that actually build trust instead of just talking about it.

The conversation turns reflective as we explore what we’d change about high school and why those choices still echo. One of us would have communicated sooner to save friendships; the other admits to being unkind and drifting through classes, a path that reshaped everything. That leads to a bigger question: who were we trying to be for others, and who did we ignore inside ourselves? We unpack identity, confidence, and the pressure to fit in—plus the simple habits that help teens and adults alike find their voice without burning bridges.

At the heart is a vulnerable story: she said “I love you” first, he didn’t say it back, and everything that followed tested whether this relationship could hold. We revisit a breakup, a drive through the snow, a ruthless “I don’t know,” and the moment pride almost ended it all. What changed us wasn’t a perfect apology—it was learning to slow down, ask for what we need, and let space build respect instead of doubt. We talk about giving each other room to breathe, loving solitude, and why personal peace is the strongest glue in a partnership.

If you’ve wrestled with trust, rushed feelings, or the fear of repeating old patterns, you’ll hear yourself in this one. Tap play, then tell us: what would you tell your younger self to do differently, and where do you draw your non-negotiable lines now? Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and drop your thoughts in the comments—we’re answering listener questions next.

Merch/Music/Videos
TinoCruze.com

Podcast Video:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLLKnc-BRF332BAwTuTo0r3ihZwBwi2IWW

LETS CONNECT!
Follow me on Instagram  

https://www.instagram.com/TinoCruze​
https://www.instagram.com/yourstrulyyye_/

Email: TinoCruzeBiz@gmail.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Alright, hi guys. It's been a minute since we've been. It's been a minute since we've done a podcast. But we're asked. Anyways, we apologize for slacking on you guys, but we're back. So uh we do have a few things to talk about today. Hope all is well.

SPEAKER_03 0:25

Anything you wanna how was your how was your week?

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Uh busy, but fine.

SPEAKER_03 0:32

Just fine.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

It was busy. Y'all work been kicking my butt. Facts. And I don't even work long hours every day.

Holiday Stress And Year-End Energy

SPEAKER_03 0:42

It's the holiday season. Dang, it's the 14th. We're halfway through December. It's almost the end of the year. Ain't that crazy?

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Yeah, I'm ready for the new year. Facts. I'm ready. This year was, you know, a lot of learning.

SPEAKER_03 0:59

Seems like everybody wants the holidays to be over.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

Yeah, I think it's just really overwhelming for a lot of people. And I think we've already had a rough couple years all the way from 2022 or 2020. So yeah, I think everyone's just ready for a fresh start. So I'm ready for the new year, too.

SPEAKER_03 1:19

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

All right, what's our card for today?

Icebreaker: Who Plays Us Onscreen

SPEAKER_03 1:22

Our icebreakers powered by Hella Awkward. Shout out to Hella Awkward. Which actor should play me in a movie about my life?

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Hmm. You're gonna answer that, or I'm gonna answer that for me. Uh I would say Michael B. Jordan. Why? Because he would play your oh, when he's angry, you would feel it. When he's emotional, you would feel it. When he's happy, you would see it.

SPEAKER_03 1:50

But how does that relate to me as a person?

SPEAKER_00 1:54

Um, well, because I feel like the roles that he plays, I could see you I could see him living your life out. That makes sense. Like for Felstation, that kind of vibe when he was younger. I've seen Michael B. Jordan actually. You want me to answer the question or not? Dang.

SPEAKER_03 2:20

Alright. I think for you, an actor, actress, I guess it would be. Um dang, that's a hard one.

SPEAKER_00 2:32

Why?

SPEAKER_03 2:33

Because they gotta be Mexican.

SPEAKER_00 2:36

No, they do not.

SPEAKER_03 2:38

Yes, they do.

SPEAKER_00 2:39

Oh, they don't. Don't give me nobody with no accent.

SPEAKER_03 2:42

Why not? Your actor would have to be. You know what? You ever seen George Lopez? The uh George Lopez's wife?

SPEAKER_00 2:55

Selena's mom.

SPEAKER_03 2:57

No, not the old lady.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

No, that's Selena's mom, too, in the movie Selena. Oh. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 3:04

Dang.

SPEAKER_00 3:05

Why? Because she's a Mexican?

SPEAKER_03 3:07

No, if you watch that show, she got some weights, just like you in that show. So it just fits.

SPEAKER_00 3:15

Okay.

Card Two: Does Body Count Matter

SPEAKER_03 3:16

All right. Now I got another card because you be picking two cards, so I feel like I want to be extra today and pick two cards. Okay. So does body count matter? How many is too many?

SPEAKER_00 3:31

That's a good one. I never pulled that one.

SPEAKER_03 3:35

Why is that a good one?

SPEAKER_00 3:38

Hold on. I hate when I sniffle and then you can hear it.

SPEAKER_03 3:41

I'm gonna keep that in there.

SPEAKER_00 3:43

No, guys, I just have a runny nose. Uh you go ahead. You're first.

SPEAKER_03 3:49

No, you first. Because you said that's a good one. It's your card.

SPEAKER_00 3:52

It's your card.

SPEAKER_03 3:53

Just go.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

I already know to you don't matter. Um well dang. Does it matter? That's a question.

SPEAKER_03 4:02

Does body count matter how many is too many?

SPEAKER_00 4:09

I feel like it matters.

SPEAKER_03 4:11

Why?

SPEAKER_00 4:13

Um, because why are you having to sleep with so many different people? My question. I've only slept with people I've actually like been with. Okay, anyways, I think that if you can't count them on one hand and you gotta go to the other hand, that is extreme. I mean, and then think about it too, like, gosh, and well, I think that in this day and age, I would be scared. We were just talking about this. I would be scared to be single right now and have to date new people and get to that point at some point because I just feel like people are not honest and diseases are like extreme now. So anyway, I think it matters, and I just think that you should be able to count them on one hand, maybe maybe two, if you have to, but like yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:17

Alright, well, I'm gonna be honest with you guys. My body count's a little extra.

SPEAKER_02 5:23

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_03 5:24

And I was in them streets when I was younger. So you know you gotta learn your lesson sometime.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

What's that mean?

SPEAKER_03 5:33

I don't know. It just sounded good. So uh I mean I think body count does matter.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

Why?

SPEAKER_03 5:48

Because I mean, I guess it depends on where you're at and when you're meeting them, right?

SPEAKER_00 5:54

When you're what?

SPEAKER_03 5:55

Where you're I guess where like what point in your life you're at when meeting them. You know what I mean? Because if it's older, like you have to expect, oh, I've been with at least a couple people, right? But if you're younger, it's like you are here in these streets at this young age, or you you know what I'm saying? Because if you're older, like obviously people been through relationships, people been through their hoochie faces, people been through all that.

SPEAKER_00 6:24

I mean, I mean, yeah, because I'm not saying I'm a I was a saint, but I was just very like territorial and like I really only had two serious relationships before you for years, and I wasn't sleeping around or like you know what I mean? I wasn't have whatever having relations with other people while I was in those relationships, so I was more of a committed person, and then before that, obviously I had a couple little talking phases, so I get it, but I mean, do you mean like if I meet you, does it matter if like say if I had just met you last year and I'm like, oh, what's your body count if that matters? Yeah, I don't think it should matter, right? Okay, maybe that's uh maybe I didn't understand the question. I don't think it I mean, I know I don't know yours, but I know of yours, it's a lot and it doesn't change how you are, but I just I don't know. But I think now, like if I don't know, I think now if I had met somebody, I'd be like, dang, but why?

SPEAKER_03 7:37

I feel like if I was single now, it would matter a little more than it did why though like when we met, because now we're seeing way more of the diseases and viruses and STDs and all that, way more.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

Yeah, I think people if now like if I had if we were never together, whatever, and and we were single people, truly for me, I and this sounds extreme, but if you don't like it, too bad, you don't then I'm you're not the one for me. I would seriously want to go get tested together. That's how bad I think it is, and I'm just saying this from experiences. Like I've heard stories when I'm at work, I've heard stories online, like people literally not telling their new thing or whatever that they have something and then passing it along.

SPEAKER_03 8:29

Facts, and it's you know, I would be terrified of that.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

I would not want to get something that's extremely I wouldn't want to get anything, but I wouldn't want to get something that could potentially in my life.

SPEAKER_03 8:41

But I I I didn't I never seen it when I was younger. Like I'm sure people had it, but the way it is now, it's like a lot of people got so many different things. It's crazy.

Safety, STDs, And Dating Fears

SPEAKER_00 8:55

Yeah, so my question to y'all is how are y'all having this is a family channel, but how are you having relations without protection with random people?

SPEAKER_03 9:06

I've only wore protection except for one time.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

And what happened to you?

SPEAKER_03 9:15

We didn't even talk about it. We ain't gonna talk about it, anyways.

SPEAKER_00 9:19

Yeah, but that I guess I misunderstood the question at first, but um, I think it matters, and I think that people should care more. Facts. And I I don't I don't know. I it's always been like a stereotype that men sleep around more or whatever, but honestly, the women, the women, and then to top it off, now that I'm a waxer and I know that women's hygiene is horrible, y'all men really need to keep, yeah, wrap it up. These women are not clean, okay?

SPEAKER_03 9:44

Okay, okay, next. We're done. Okay. She over here giving a Martha Stewart speech, dog. What the heck?

SPEAKER_00 9:53

Anyways.

SPEAKER_03 9:54

All right. What's our topic for today, ma'am?

SPEAKER_00 9:58

Um, I just had a subject that's basically stating if you could go back to high school, what would you have done differently and why? That's the first part.

SPEAKER_03 10:12

To go back to high school, I think I would have communicated more because I lost friends and it was situations where I could have had a conversation, but I mean they could have had a conver they could have talked to me too. It was more of like, I'm waiting for them to ask me whatever, and then we can talk about it. But I'm a little more uh I'm more confident now, and I'm more willing to talk to people. I'm more outgoing and stuff like that now, but I was not anywhere near that in high school. So I I lost some friends because of that.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

Oh, so like if they wouldn't talk to you about it, you wouldn't even fix it?

SPEAKER_03 10:51

It would just be awkward. Walk right past him in the in the uh hallways, all that.

SPEAKER_00 10:58

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 10:59

Like uh my friend Darius. When we went back to my uh Can't hear you when you look away when we went back to my uh from my my brother's funeral, I hadn't seen my friend Darius in a long time. But the reason we stopped talking, I don't we don't really know the reason. We don't remember because we were kids, but I think communication played a big part in that and made it worse. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:27

Yeah, it makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 11:28

What's yours?

High School Do-Overs And Regrets

SPEAKER_00 11:31

Mine's mine's actually a couple things, just because it actually led to like where my like it literally changed my whole life. But I would say um I would have taken school more seriously and actually went to class and graduated on time and went to school. I would have done that. Also, I would have been I honestly like it's truly people could probably the people the version of me now, like I don't think a lot of people know now or remember how'd I say this? The version of me now, people in high school that knew me don't know me anymore because I definitely I think in high school I wasn't the nicest. Dang, no, I really think even like middle school, I don't think I was the nicest. I probably didn't want to um like be friends with certain people that wanted to be friends with me. I don't I think I may have said things that maybe weren't as nice. I think I was a little bit of a mean girl in a way, but like to my own friends and stuff. So I think I would have been a little bit more self-aware. That makes sense. But yeah, I feel like that's my my major thing. Because there's things that people tell me nowadays I said, and I'm like, I don't not remember that.

SPEAKER_03 12:56

Pretty bad. Dang, that's crazy. You're you're that person.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Um, yeah, I was very I was bad.

SPEAKER_03 13:03

Y'all was mean in high school. I was bad.

SPEAKER_00 13:05

I was always in the print in the principal's office with Mr. Uh what's his name?

SPEAKER_03 13:10

You asking me like I was like I was around when you was a kid. You way older than you.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

Everybody that went to Pascal High, y'all know who I'm talking about. But yeah, that's that's what I would have driently.

SPEAKER_03 13:23

Dang. Just think about that though. If you would have changed one little thing, you would have never met me.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

I know that's what's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 13:33

Come on, man. That's why I don't really believe in regret.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

I don't believe in regret. I think everything happens for a reason. It shaped me to who I am. Is that right? But yeah. Um, my other thing I wanted to talk about was what would you tell your younger self? There's one thing you could tell your younger self, what would you tell your younger self?

SPEAKER_03 13:57

I'd say not, I guess don't worry about what other people think. Because when I was in high school, I did I did care about what other people think, and that changed something. I I don't really, I don't, it's not that I cared about what other people think, it's the fact that I I didn't have my own identity and I didn't know who I was, if that makes sense. Like I I was more worried about like, dang, this is what we all like, or this is what we all, this is what we all, and it's like, okay, what do I like by myself rather than what do the homies want to do and what's fun to them and what's cool to them? It's like what what about me? So sometimes I just and sometimes what they were doing was me, but then there's like sometimes I'm just like, this ain't really cool. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 14:49

Oh, yeah, I got what you mean. Mm-hmm. Yeah, like the things that they were doing.

SPEAKER_03 14:53

So you would tell yourself there was like girls I wouldn't talk to because it's like they didn't think that that person looked alright. Stuff like that. You know, it was just a uh uh I guess an identity crisis in a way.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 15:10

I had that because I didn't know who I was, I didn't have confidence, I didn't have any of that. You know, you see parents who are like, you know, tell their kids like, oh you are enough, you are this, you are that. I'm not gonna say I didn't have that, but it wasn't something that was like brought to my attention as much when I was a kid. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 15:33

Mm-hmm. So yeah, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 15:36

Yeah. So what about you, ma'am?

What We’d Tell Our Younger Selves

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Um, I would have told myself that I am well you you said what I was gonna say. I would tell myself that you are strong and you are worthy, and that you deserve nothing but the best, and you will have that. As long as you know that. Because I struggled with that too. I feel like I struggled with identity crisis, just not feeling like I fit in with the Mexican girls, didn't fit in with the other, like it was really hard for me growing up, just not knowing, like I felt so lost being an adopted child and just not knowing where I came from, and then not having a father my whole life, seeking love, things like that. So, but honestly, I feel like everything I that I've been through has been pretty rough, but it's also I still like my heart's always still been softened, and that's only because of God, honestly, and um my personal relationship with him. But I feel like, yeah, just tell I would tell myself literally that you're so strong, you're so worthy, and that you can have everything and anything that you want as long as you believe that, because that's my problem. I never believed it. People would tell me all the time, you could do this, you could do that, or you're so good at this. And I just never believed in it myself because I was always told, like, no, no, no, you need to get like a regular job, you need to work in nine to five. No, that's not gonna make you money, or no, you can't do that. No, you're not enough, no, you're not good. So, like the then you know, the not supportive people, yeah. So, yeah, that's what I would tell myself, yourself.

SPEAKER_03 17:20

Interesting, interesting. All right, so you want to talk about this?

SPEAKER_00 17:29

Everyone wants to talk about us.

SPEAKER_03 17:33

Says, tell the story about Erica saying I love you first, why I didn't say it back. So, you want to tell this story from your perspective?

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Stop speaking away from the mic. From my perspective?

SPEAKER_03 17:46

You want to tell it from your perspective?

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Okay, guys.

SPEAKER_03 17:49

Okay, guys.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

So remember, like on the other previous podcast, we talked about how we met at the club and he went and he found me, blah, blah. This was six months of me being single. Remember, I was not looking for nobody, nothing. But we started talking. He was I don't know, there was just something about him that I really did like, and you know what it might have been? You're right. I now that I think about this deeper, I really think it was the fact that he wasn't really like too into me, if that makes sense, but he was showing that he liked me, and so to me, I've all that's I've always gone for the people that I like more, just like you have. Like, I feel like I've always gone for the people the people that I like more, and then I kind of get crazy. So, anyway, so we're hanging out outside of the club. This is probably like maybe the second time I saw him, right? I don't remember. First of all, I had been intoxicated. That's my excuse. Basically, just long story short, I just blurted it out, and I said, Oh, I love you.

SPEAKER_03 19:12

Showed you.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

And then he just smiled. I think I we kissed, and then that was like it, but he never said it back. Why? How long did it take you to say it back and why? Let me put my glasses back. That was really soon, though. I will say, I always do that. I'm a Libra, guys. I love hard. I fall in love fast.

SPEAKER_03 19:31

I was like, dang. Well, here's the thing. When I first moved there, I hadn't been in a relationship in a while. And I was like, dang, when I go out here, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna stick to myself and I'm gonna chill. Because you know, you you go somewhere and you get the wild, and your rep your reputation goes. So I was like, let me chill out. Man, her, she said, I love you. I said, Gotcha. She's so for real. Come on, man. That's that's how I knew. That's how I knew. She loves me. First in my ear. First, Erica? First. Do you remember that? You said it first.

SPEAKER_00 20:16

Yeah, and then I said, oh, what didn't I say like uh oh no, I didn't mean to say that or something like that.

SPEAKER_03 20:22

She tried to take it back from a player. Nah, nah, nah.

SPEAKER_00 20:26

Because honestly, no, because I'm no, because really I think it was more of like a oh, I just like like being around you, or like that kind of thing. Like, oh, I just love like being around you. I think it was more of a that.

SPEAKER_03 20:39

That ain't how she meant you.

SPEAKER_00 20:40

I don't think it was like, oh, I love you. I'm so in love with you. I had just met him.

SPEAKER_03 20:45

She just met me and said that already.

SPEAKER_00 20:48

I believe in like soul ties and like energy and stuff like that. And I just think the universe just told me he was the one, you know, at the time. So I said it.

SPEAKER_03 21:01

Let me tell you this. I ain't said it back because I was like, man, I've been in some butt rough relationships. It's been hard out here for your boy. Then next thing you know, I love you. Already?

unknown 21:15

Dang.

The First I Love You Story

SPEAKER_03 21:16

Yeah, but it didn't scare you away. In every relationship, I like the other person more. So I was like, I need to get to a point where there's someone who wants to be with me and not leave, even when it gets hard and all that. I didn't have that. I didn't have one at the time. And I didn't have one, period. So you know that's just how it had to go. It's like, dang, she loves me. I'm not ready for that to say that yet.

SPEAKER_00 21:53

Mm-hmm. That's fine.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

But I'll get there soon. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

Yeah. I mean, it doesn't always happen that way. People don't always say it to each other at the same time. Facts. Because it could have been the other way around. I've had that happen to me where someone's told me that they love me, and I'm like, uh. Yeah, that's that's Yeah, about that.

SPEAKER_03 22:15

It's a little awkward. That is that is rough.

unknown 22:19

I know.

SPEAKER_03 22:20

When someone says it to you, and you just be like.

SPEAKER_00 22:26

Yeah, that's like asking somebody to marry you, and they're like, uh I'm not ready for that yet.

SPEAKER_03 22:30

But with you, I feel like I felt it, but I wasn't ready to say it.

SPEAKER_00 22:35

How would you? I'm telling you, I don't think that I think it was honestly just a blurt out of like, because I mean, yeah, then we started hanging out more, and then eventually, yes, it was really like, Oh, I really am in love with him.

SPEAKER_03 22:50

All right, let me tell you this. I had to test her. All right, because I was like, Oh, we should be together, we should be together. She was like, No, no, I'm not ready for like a month, and then she said, I'm ready to be with you. And then it was I'm not ready.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

Nope.

SPEAKER_03 23:08

And I don't, it was it was definitely testing her for whatever reason. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 23:13

Testing me for what? I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 23:15

Because it's like sometimes you gotta see how how hard a person will fight for you, you know what I mean? And then she was like, okay, and then I was like, all right, I'm just playing, I'm ready. And she was like, nah, nah, nah. Dang, roll it down.

SPEAKER_00 23:29

Because, like, speaking of relationships, the more I like kind of watch things or like read up on things and them like reading stories or whatever. Sometimes though, I honestly, my pattern in the past, though, that's my problem, is that I've always been the one to move so fast as far as like emotionally, and it got me in not good situations. So the moment that I I pulled back because I had to get myself together, I had kids to think about. Like, that was my number one thing was like my kids. I can't involve somebody if they're not gonna stick around. And I was really worried that he wasn't gonna stick around. I mean, who would? I had five kids. He was 22, he was 22, and I was 26. So I just felt like it was so unrealistic. And that my and everybody would tell me that, but in the back of my mind, I'm like, but he just seems so different though. Like that's what kept you know me around or whatever, to try to figure it out if he was or not. But I feel like I was trying to also protect myself in that moment when he felt it back, I was like, that's y'all can probably relate. It's a defense mechanism. I think it's like, wait, no, no, no, no. No, and especially like for me, it's just my character. Like, if I'm showing you that I like you or that I want to be with you or something, and then you're not reciprocating that back, it will actually make me pull back. So that's kind of also what it did. It kind of made me think, mm, he's not really serious about me, or he doesn't really. This is probably just not gonna last. So let me not get too serious. If he really wants me, then he'll fight for me.

SPEAKER_03 25:05

See, it was the same thing, but I ain't gonna lie, Erica was a little crazy when I met her.

SPEAKER_00 25:10

You were a little because I was in love.

SPEAKER_03 25:13

Nah, don't use that excuse.

SPEAKER_00 25:15

I was in love, and you were being very like not trustworthy.

SPEAKER_03 25:19

All that was in a month.

SPEAKER_00 25:21

It was fast, see what I mean.

SPEAKER_03 25:24

I remember we got into it when I first met you. Because you were just you were you were young, you were a little wild.

SPEAKER_00 25:33

What?

SPEAKER_03 25:34

Because I remember uh you picked me up, you had kids in the back. They didn't have a seatbelt on.

unknown 25:42

I don't remember.

SPEAKER_03 25:43

You was driving past a police officer. They didn't have a seatbelt on, they ain't sitting down, and I was like, what is going on? Oh my god, I don't remember that. And then we we pulled up to my house, and I got out of the car, and I was like, hey, why? What are you doing? Like you're speeding next to a police officer, and you didn't have no seatbelt on these kids. And then yeah, I can see that. I started crying, you were crying a lot, you used to cry a lot back then, bro. You used to cry a lot. She was bawling.

SPEAKER_00 26:17

Because you're so mean to me. My thing is, like, how do you I tell you I'm six months fresh out of an abusive, toxic relationship. You come into my life. Into my life. Into my life where kids are involved and I have trauma and I have baggage. Like, can anybody relate to this? Like, that's so hard to just all of a sudden you want me to be this person. That's where I mean, yeah, we've had so much growth throughout the years that I look back at that person that I was and I'm like, dang, that was that was still a girl that was I was still in pain. I was still traumatized, I couldn't trust anybody. I mean, I was just like broken. So it's hard. That's why I didn't want to get into relationship for a long time. I had a mindset of like, I'm not gonna get into relationship for a long time. I had people trying to DM me all the time. Yeah, all you back in Tri-Cities.

SPEAKER_03 27:15

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. All you niggas I know Sleet and her DMs. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. All you niggas I know Sleet and her DMs and think I ain't no.

SPEAKER_00 27:26

We know.

SPEAKER_03 27:26

And guess what? All them niggas sending me friend advice on Facebook till this day. Boy, go to hell. All right, go straight to hell, my boy.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

I'm just saying, like, I definitely decline, decline, decline. But it was more because like you, I don't know what it was. But it's that's that's the hardest part in relationships. I mean, usually people give up, and and honestly, yeah, we broke up one at one point. Um, because I wasn't, yeah, I just wasn't not in a good mindset and I was a little crazy, but it was because that's what I was used to. And I was I refused to be cheated on again, lied to, like, all of that. So when I felt a sign, if I saw something that was off the grid, I was like, mm-mm. Nah. And I would speak up because I couldn't speak up before.

Breakups, Boundaries, And Reconciliation

SPEAKER_03 28:17

I ain't gonna lie. It was a time where we took a break. A whole week and a half, a whole week and a half. But here's the thing we're arguing on text or something like that. I go home. We I'm like, oh, we done. Forget this. I'm mad as hell. Right? Pull up to the crib. I'm sitting in my car for a minute looking at my phone.

SPEAKER_00 28:42

Mm-hmm. I bet.

SPEAKER_03 28:44

Tap tap on the window. I said, Boy, my body almost, my soul jumped out my body. Go back to that moment. No, no, no, hold on. What were you feeling? She at the window. She at the window. Mind you, she lived 45 minutes away. So it's like, what are you doing here?

SPEAKER_00 29:00

Hold up, lady. It was snowing.

SPEAKER_03 29:03

Crazy. She out here risking her life.

SPEAKER_00 29:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:06

For a little old me.

SPEAKER_00 29:08

Yeah. Isn't that crazy? I don't know what I was thinking.

unknown 29:11

Huh?

SPEAKER_00 29:13

What were you thinking? Because he was so mad at me. But see, do you remember when I came? Okay, let me tell you. Let me tell you, because this is again what I say. But if if I feel that way and you push me away, you will push me away. And I am totally fine with that. I remember I thought, let me, okay, obviously I feel like I messed up a little bit, even though I feel like I had my reasons, and to this day, I don't regret it. I don't. I had my reasons, but I think I could have approached the situation a little bit differently, if that makes sense. Gave us some time and could have approached him better with it, right? But my communication skills were not the best. They still aren't. And I just remember showing up. I drove my girls with me in the snow 45 minutes to his house at night.

SPEAKER_01 30:00

Crazy, boy.

SPEAKER_00 30:01

Shout out to Shannon because she let me stay at her house. Showed up, and I was just like, I remember I was playing K-Lani Wish You Were Here or You Should Be Here, something like that the whole way. And I was crying and I was like, I can't lose this man. I can't lose this man. Let me show up. Because if somebody showed up from me, I would be like, dang, okay, she really or he really does love me. Let's talk this out. And that's how I am. I'm let's talk it out. Let's figure it out. I don't want it to linger for what? I didn't know that we were done, done. I didn't think that he would really be done. So I show up and he literally gave me the coldest shoulder, you guys. Like, she said, You still love me.

SPEAKER_03 30:39

I looked in uh No, we walked up to his room.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

I sat on the bed, he's all acting like, you know, what is it called? Silent treatment, getting his clothes ready, take a shower.

SPEAKER_03 30:50

Cause I need time in between.

SPEAKER_00 30:52

You had all day. So anyway, and then I'm like, Do you even still love me? And he said, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 31:02

That looked her in her eyes and said and said, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 31:06

I literally, you guys, was like, hmm, okay. Because I mind you, I had A, B, C, D, E, F G in my messages that I was like, you know what? I don't care about none of that. Whatever. And at that, at that moment, I just remember thinking, this little boy. This is exactly why. This is exactly why I did not want to get involved in this. First of all, I got up and I left. And I said, What did I say to you? I said, What did I say? I said something like, that's fine, don't even worry about it. Left. Went back to Shannon's house, cried to I was like, he doesn't even love me anymore. And then I laid in the bed with the girls. I remember Ariel and April were both on each side of me. And I just remember falling asleep crying. Then I wake up, y'all. I had to go back home because my mom was like, come back home. Had to drive back home. And I get a message on my had to miss a call or whatever from him. And then a message that was like, What are you doing? And I just I'm I can be cold. So I remember messaging back and just being like, I had clothes at his house, like in his drawer, and he like messaged me about his my un, I don't know, something, my clothes or whatever. And I was like, you can just throw it away. I don't care. Driving home, you guys, and then he pulls the I love you. So then little oh me, of course, little oh weak me. What did I do? What did I do? I messaged him back. I'm sorry. I just I know that I basically get an apology. Like I always do, and now here we are.

SPEAKER_03 32:45

See? Had you not swallowed your pride, had you not swallowed your pride, will we? That would have been it. No, that would have been it.

SPEAKER_00 32:54

That would have been it.

SPEAKER_03 32:56

See?

SPEAKER_00 32:58

Who knows? Damn. Yeah, that's crazy. That could have changed everything. Had you not tried.

SPEAKER_03 33:07

You ain't got no sense. That's when I knew it was done.

SPEAKER_00 33:11

Then I was like, okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:12

That's what it's actually telling me that you're crazy, bro. Like, you really like. You really got some loose screws, my dog. Like, dang.

SPEAKER_00 33:24

That one always dies. No, I don't. I'm not anything like I used to be. It's just now I know my worth so much more. She lying. So I don't cry anymore. Yeah, I don't cry anymore like that, y'all. Would you say I'm less emotional now?

SPEAKER_03 33:44

Or no, you're still emotional.

Growth, Trust, And Loving Solitude

SPEAKER_00 33:46

I'm still emotional, but you're very emotional.

SPEAKER_03 33:51

But you've learned how to be like me. Thick skin. A little bit.

SPEAKER_00 33:57

You still soft, but I mean when it comes to you, I'm not like Yeah, I'm not worried about you.

SPEAKER_01 34:07

Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

Like you can go with your friends and go to freaking Vegas or go downtown Phoenix, and I'm like enjoying my peace and quiet in my alone time, y'all. When you learn to love yourself, shush it. When you learn to love yourself, y'all, women, when you learn to love yourself and enjoy your own solitude, nothing can break that. So if you don't like to be by yourself or you can't take yourself out, why would anybody want to take you out? And if you don't enjoy your own solitude and stuff, that's why you guys are having all these fights. Like let your man go play his game and you go do your own thing and you go watch your own show and your own peace and quiet or go out with your friends, whatever you gotta do. Let him go do his own thing. Then when he comes back, y'all can reunite, you know. It's all good.

SPEAKER_03 34:59

Is this a relationship tutorial or what? Because dang, dog. Yes, a lot of people know everybody ain't like us. All right. I'm telling you right now, they not like us. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 35:09

Well, it's nice to hear your version of things. That's cool.

SPEAKER_03 35:23

All right. Is that it? I guess this, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:30

No, we just talk.

SPEAKER_03 35:33

Oh my gosh. You're funny, dude.

SPEAKER_00 35:36

Anyways.

SPEAKER_03 35:37

You are funny.

SPEAKER_00 35:38

Yeah, that's a little more about us. So um, let us know if you guys have any more questions about our relationship or anything we've been through. We can pretty much talk about anything. Gotcha. Or you can personally message Erica.

SPEAKER_03 35:53

Erica, Erica. You got that right. Anyways.

SPEAKER_00 35:58

All right.

SPEAKER_03 35:58

I guess we're out.

SPEAKER_00 35:59

So it's the end of this podcast, y'all.

Wrap-Up And Listener Questions

SPEAKER_03 36:02

Like, subscribe, follow. Um, and yeah, whatever. Comment.

SPEAKER_00 36:09

Share it.

SPEAKER_03 36:10

Whatever.

SPEAKER_00 36:11

Follow my TikTok, Erica Pledge.

SPEAKER_03 36:14

All right, we'll see you in the next video.

SPEAKER_00 36:17

Peace.