The Other Half Podcast
The other half can be many things. Most of all it is your perspective, your narrative, your side of the story. We are here to hear the other half of the story.
The Other Half Podcast
Mislabeled, Miscommunications, Misunderstood
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What happens when honesty sounds like judgment, when art gets mistaken for gossip, and when the pressure to build a better life collides with old wounds? We dive into forgiveness, childhood memories, and the messy middle of partnership, where love is a daily choice and clarity often arrives late. From street hoops and bike hacks to modern parenting and screens, we compare the freedom we had to the structure our kids need now—and we admit that balance isn’t a mood, it’s hard math.
We open up about burnout and renewal: Pilates and better food for energy, a barber rediscovering the joy of the craft, and two people recalibrating expectations so ambition doesn’t become exhaustion. Money takes center stage for a reason. Debt isn’t just numbers; it’s a tax on time, presence, and family tradition. We talk openly about building a waxing business, stabilizing income, and why financial freedom is really freedom to choose how we spend our days. Cost of living has changed the game, so we’re changing strategy, not values.
Then we get into being misunderstood. Direct people get mislabeled as harsh; those who share art get accused of airing dirty laundry. We unpack a stepfather-perspective song that family heard as an attack and lay out how composite stories carry cycles, not callouts. Triggers resurface—a partner’s “love is a choice” echoes an old slight—until we pause, name the past, and translate intent. The lesson: context is kindness, and timing matters as much as truth. We end with hope and specifics: a Washington trip for a full-circle wedding, a studio in flux, and a shared vow to talk sooner, apologize faster, and make money serve time with our kids.
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Hi guys, how are you guys doing? We're back with another podcast today.
Childhood Memories And What We’d Change
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. This is season two. This is our second year doing it. This is the beginning of our second year. So yeah.
SPEAKER_02Alright, so we um do you want me to start with the cards?
SPEAKER_00Um, I mean, we can, I guess.
SPEAKER_02Alright, so we're doing uh Hello Awkward Cards today. I have two.
SPEAKER_00This is our icebreaker.
SPEAKER_02Um, so when was the last time that you forgave yourself?
SPEAKER_00Why are you giving me all these hard questions?
SPEAKER_02Let me make you think.
SPEAKER_00Uh the last time I forgave myself. I don't know. That's hard. Um, it had to be within the last couple of years.
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm. Okay.
SPEAKER_00But for what? I don't remember. I feel like I've been at a mellow place for a long time, you know?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So I don't know. When's the last time you forgave yourself?
SPEAKER_02I actually didn't really even think about this until I pulled the card, and then I thought, hmm. It was probably about a year ago.
SPEAKER_00For what?
SPEAKER_02Um, it had to do with my kids, my oldest kids, like a miscommunication.
SPEAKER_00Hmm, interesting.
SPEAKER_02Or I finally, yeah, just had to forgive myself for things I've been really um resenting myself or or feeling like I was the blame for. So yeah, think about when was the last time you forgave yourself and why. And why? Alright, the other one um is what was your child was your childhood I l idylit? How do you say it? Ideallic?
SPEAKER_01Alright.
SPEAKER_02Like was your childhood, like your idea childhood. And what would you change about your childhood?
SPEAKER_00I think my childhood was it was a little bit of everything. I mean, everything you could possibly go through. Well, a lot. I'm not gonna say everything, but a lot. Um, my childhood was cool because I was just everywhere, never at home. We always had friends, we always had somewhere to go play basketball and walk to, and we used to walk everywhere, we used to ride bikes everywhere. You know, put a little can in the in the bike tire. It sounded like terrible, but it was fun. What? You never put a can in a bike tire?
SPEAKER_02No, I don't even know what she doesn't know how to ride a bike. What does that mean to to make it make noise?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02No, I didn't I didn't.
SPEAKER_00So we had the house in the bot on the bottom of all the hills. The hills were dead ends. We had the house on the bottom of the dead end instead of the end of the dead end, the beginning. And uh yeah, we put the basketball hoop on the street. We just out there hooping in the street.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I did that too.
SPEAKER_00But it wasn't it wasn't a busy street. So yeah, it was it was a pretty cool childhood. You know, outside of the the family drama, you know. It was it was not bad. Not bad at all.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_02What was your um I feel like mine was pretty good up until the age of probably like 13. Then I feel like as a preteen and a teenager, you start to really, you know, you change a lot. It's not all about like going outside and playing with toys and your friends. I feel like you change a lot, especially as a young little girl.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You go through like a lot of hormonal stuff and stuff like that. But I remember like, yeah, just being able to play outside so the lights came on in the street. You had no cell phones, no phones, you just knew when to come home. Um, you just played, played with sticks and dirt. It was good. Um, I feel like the reason why I wanted to pull that card though was like because I thought about my own kids and like wondering if I feel like they'll always they'll never have like the childhood that we had.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know, as kids. So it just gave me something to think about. I just I feel like kids should be outside more facts, you know, not inside all day and on devices and stuff like that. So that's definitely something to work on. Yeah, other than that, I feel like it was pretty good. But the question was like, well, was there anything you would change about it?
SPEAKER_00Um I don't think there's anything I would change because I feel like if you change one thing, it changes a lot. So I feel like there's nothing to change because everything I went through I learned from or I remember and it made me who I am now.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00So I don't I don't think I would change anything. Is there anything you change?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I would.
SPEAKER_00Like what?
SPEAKER_02I feel like, yeah, I mean, yeah, one thing changes everything, but it's asking, like, would you as if if there's something you could change, what would you change? I would definitely um like had slowed down in my teenage years. And I would have loved to have more like family time. I feel like I missed out on that a lot. Although, like, my my mom could probably say the opposite, like you're always in your room, but I don't know. I just feel like I got accustomed to always being kind of alone, and so then when it came to like big gatherings, I didn't I got I don't know, it was like scary. I didn't want to be around other people. Um, but like I just wish it was more traditional if that makes sense, yeah. But yeah, it is what it is.
SPEAKER_00Well, in that sense, I feel like I think I would have done more because there were times where like people invited me places and I was like, nah, I'm cool.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00But it was it was also a lack of like I was just used to what I was used to, and anything outside of that felt uh yeah, out of place different.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's what I was trying to say. Yeah, so yeah, times have changed.
SPEAKER_00So, how's your new year?
SPEAKER_02I think it's starting off good.
SPEAKER_00Starting off good.
SPEAKER_02It feels like a it feels like a I mean, obviously there's still so much to do this year, but I feel like it's it's finally the beginning of a time when I can change a lot, and then as the next few months go by, a lot will change. So I'm just ready for that. I'm ready to get through the next few months. How about you?
SPEAKER_00Oh dang. Um I know yours interesting because I'm at a point where I felt like I stopped growing, and then now I'm back to the point where it's like I want to try this and I want to try this and I want to learn this. And so it's it's not bad. It's it's refreshing and it's motivating. So yeah, it's been cool. It's been cool. What are your new year's resolutions?
SPEAKER_02Um, my biggest one is like, I have to get active, guys. I have to get active. I'm wanting to do Pilates. If you've ever done Pilates, I haven't heard anybody say anything negative about Pilates. So it's really good for your core, your body, your muscles, all of that. Um, so I really do want to get back back active. I want to try to find balance because right now I'm struggling with, I'm still struggling, guys, like with wanting to like get my sleep, but then be productive, but then handle things at home, but then work hard at work. But like I won't lie, I'm in that the thick of it where like you know, I'm in a journey for a reason, but I'm not gonna lie, like work is kicking my butt. I mean, it's just taking all my energy, plus I got health stuff going on. So I'm just trying to like fight with my mind and like battle that because I do want to be productive, but I'm also like trying to get out of that stump where I keep thinking, oh well, once I'm done in this, I can't say what it is yet, but once I'm done with this, then I can start like doing X, Y, and Z. So I kind of still feel, even though it's beginning of the year, I still feel like I'm a little bit trapped, if that makes sense. But I know what I'm gonna get what I'm gonna do, so I'm excited about that. So I do want to get active. Um, I started eating better and I feel good about that. Um, I just really want to like grow my waxing skills and business. And I just want to be the most successful wax specialist in Arizona, at least in my city, um, this year. And I think I can do that by the end of this year.
SPEAKER_00Whoa, dang.
SPEAKER_02What about you?
SPEAKER_00I don't know. I don't really have you always say that. I feel like I've I don't know. For my New Year's resolution, I feel like it's something that I should be, like it should be like a goal. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02No, I don't know what you're saying.
SPEAKER_00I don't know. I feel like a New Year's resolution is a good thing.
SPEAKER_02Like you don't have one goal, isn't it like to grow like your TikTok and stuff?
SPEAKER_00I mean, I feel like that's not really a goal. I'm kind of just going with the flow with that. My New Year's resolution is to I I really don't know.
SPEAKER_02What should my remote resolution not be perfect, bro?
SPEAKER_00It's not perfect, but it's not like I feel like I don't have as much to work on as I used to have. You know what I mean?
Money, Debt, And Shared Goals
SPEAKER_02I think a huge one for us is to really like eliminate debt. Like by the end of this year, it shouldn't. I mean, but if you think about it, because by the end of this year, it's the next year. I think by the end of this year, it should not be where we where we can't say that we have hardly any debt. Like we should be able to say, we really took care of a lot of debt this year. We really and I really think like once I'm doing what I need to do, that will happen. Um so yeah, I think that should be like a major one. Like, I think we're I don't think we're the only ones that feel that way. There's a lot of people that you know make that a goal um for the year, and it was probably really hard last year to do that. So I think that's a major, major one because without without all the debt and stuff, or you know what, like feeling like you gotta catch up, you can do so many more things and enjoy life and get out. I feel like that's like a huge one, but that's that's also just one of mine.
SPEAKER_00See, I don't have I feel like that's what I say every year. So I want something different, but I guess that's my new year's resolution.
SPEAKER_02Or what are some things that would help you get to that then?
Loving The Craft Again
SPEAKER_00I don't know. I feel like um financially I'm moving in the right direction because I'm making money from other things other than barbering now. You know what I mean? But I'm not I'm trying not to get too like I'm trying not to think too far ahead because sometimes it gets to a point where I get burnt out and it's like I went a little too hard too early. So that's that's kind of like I want to just enjoy cutting hair as much as I used to, and I feel like this past year I didn't. So I've just been following a bunch of new people and creators and stuff for hair haircuts and all that, and it's it's made me want to just be better at cutting hair.
SPEAKER_02Well, yeah, because you gotta go back to the the why you're doing what you do. Yeah, it can't feel always feel like work. Exactly. That's where I'm at. It's hard. I love what I do, but it just feels like work. It's it's a lot so I get that. Okay, well, if you don't have any, you don't have any.
Main Topic: Being Misunderstood
SPEAKER_00I guess. So today's topic is being misunderstood. So do you have a time when you were like misunderstood and it like you remember it really, really well? Like it always like comes up. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02I was trying to think of that when you said that, and I I feel like there probably is, but I can't think of something right now.
SPEAKER_00I feel like there's there's a lot of times, and I I feel like being misunderstood is one of the worst things simply because like sometimes I say stuff and it's like I don't mean it in a harsh way. Yeah, and I do think a lot of people think I'm judgmental because of that, but it's just it is what it is. I've if I feel a certain way, like my thing is I don't understand why people care so much of what I think sometimes. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02Because it's like we talked about this before.
SPEAKER_00I don't know. I feel like I feel like I say stuff, but I shouldn't matter as much as or my opinion shouldn't matter as much in other people's lives.
SPEAKER_02You know what I think it is? I don't think people should care so much about what you think as much as they should care about their own selves. Exactly, or like as much as they should care about their own decision or what they're doing or what themselves.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I think that's the problem. But I think I feel like we've talked about this before. I see it all the time, like with you, whether it's friends, family. I think people care about your opinion because that's just me speaking. I don't really know. I I can't speak for everybody else, but I think it's because they I mean, look when you speak, we ask you what do you have to achieve or what would you want to do more? And you're just like, nothing. I'm good. And I I'll hear your friends even saying, like, you know, I just can't wait to get to that point. Because they just feel like you have it all figured out. So if you have a if you're somebody that they feel like has it all figured out, they're gonna want to know, hey, what do you think about this? Or they may think highly of your opinion because they see the decisions that you make are successful. The problem with that though, I find is that a lot of people like to ask, but then they don't really take what you're saying into consideration and move with it. So then it becomes it gets to a point where if you keep asking Avery the same thing or you keep talking to him about the same thing, but you're not, you're like a movement person. You don't want to hear people talk, talk, talk. So then when it gets to that point that they keep like asking him their opinion or mentioning something or whatever, he's just gonna go silent. But I or you'll say the harsh reality because you do love them, yeah, and you just want the best for them.
SPEAKER_00But I don't like I just I don't like that people listen to what I say and hold it to like a higher standard.
SPEAKER_02Like what do you mean?
SPEAKER_00Like, you know what I mean? Like sometimes I talk to people and they're like I don't know. I I don't like that people care as much as what for what I have to say. Because I don't care what y'all gotta say.
SPEAKER_02That's true.
SPEAKER_00I don't, I really don't.
SPEAKER_02You don't know.
SPEAKER_00That's the thing. Like, people people just I don't know. I guess I'd be uh I don't know. You don't know what it bothers me when they say that I offend people, but it's like they ask a question, and it's like if you didn't want this answer, why did you ask me?
SPEAKER_02Because they want you to they want you to to sugarcoat it and say something what they want to hear. Yeah, I'm not gonna- That's the reality of it. I guess I could I guess then now that you're saying that, I guess I can understand that because whatever, we say this all the time. I don't have a lot of friends, guys. I don't care. That's the that's the thing. Like you have to.
SPEAKER_00Erica, the main one. You be taking stuff the wrong way. I'd be misunderstood at home.
SPEAKER_02Give an example.
SPEAKER_00I told Erica. Let me tell y'all a story.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because you must be holding on to something.
SPEAKER_00This is about everything's about you. I live with you every day. It happens often. Sometimes I say stuff and she she needs a second for it to okay.
SPEAKER_02Like what?
SPEAKER_00Like when I told you people in relationships, here's an example. People in relationships, they wake up and choose each other. You have to choose to be with the other. Oh, that was so long ago. You asked for an example. How are you gonna ask me for an example and you don't like the example?
SPEAKER_02Because that's not accurate anymore, though. I agree with you.
SPEAKER_00Let me tell the story. You know what? I said, people gotta wake up and choose each other. You know, you don't have to be here, you have to choose to be here, blah, blah, blah. And for whatever reason, she took that offensively, and she walks to the kitchen. And by the I come in the kitchen about two minutes later, she says, Oh, I get what you're saying. See, that's a misunderstanding.
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm. That was literally two years ago. So, like when he when he told you guys in another podcast, he must one, he must be wanting to let stuff out. I don't know, but I didn't know this was what this was about. Anyways, when he told you guys in the in the other like couple podcasts ago, I'm tired. When he said something in another podcast where you guys might have caught it, where he said, Why do you get so defensive or whatever? You said offensive, but you meant defensive, and you went to the kitchen. Okay, anyways, just take that out. Okay, so yes, but you have to understand it's okay. This is my thing. We're not gonna nitpick each other. There's just like, I think for me, why sometimes you can come off that way is because you're you don't really elaborate. I asked you a question, I think is what it was, and then you said, Well, I choose to love you. You have to also understand, like, the growth was not quite there. I'm not understanding what you're saying. Now, two years later, even after, shortly after you said that, of course, I understood because I had to think about it. Like, well, what does he really mean by that? Because to me, not because now that I'm thinking of it, yeah, that makes sense. I don't think I can't think of any other way that it would be. I choose to be with you, I don't have to be with you. I choose to be married to you, I don't have to be married to you. I choose to be faithful to you, I don't have to be faithful to you. It's all a choice.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you do.
SPEAKER_02Okay, but see, that's the same thing that I said, and and then you take it offensive. So when there's a lack of communication and understanding, but also sometimes you just don't elaborate, or sometimes you're just very cutthroat. And I think that's what people mean when they say that you're very judgmental. Like, look how you're sitting.
SPEAKER_00What's wrong with how I'm sitting?
SPEAKER_02This is a defensive mechanism.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh, Erica's been watching freaking lawyer shows and Judge Judy and No, you know what?
SPEAKER_02Okay, burger mysteries because we talk about so many things, and I'll tell you straight up what that was. It has nothing to do with you, it's not your fault. But talk about trauma and PTSD and stuff, that was a trigger for me. I'll tell you why. There was a guy I was with, and we're sitting in the car of Walmart. I remember, see, this is how I know it's trauma to this very day, and he said, You uh, because I was like, you know, I think I'm a pretty, pretty woman. Like, I don't think I'm about like when we're talking about being attractive and stuff. And he said, Well, you could be beautiful to me, but you could be ugly to everybody else. And I was like, I don't agree with that. I don't think that I'm ugly to anybody. I think it's all about the inside. Maybe inside, I may be ugly to somebody, but I don't think physically that I'm ugly to anybody. If you think I'm ugly, that's just my perception. I think that I think it's more of like an internal thing. I don't consider myself to be an ugly person. It was a trigger for me. So to me, it was more of him saying, Well, that's what you think, but that's not what everybody else thinks. Like, kind of like uh, I choose to say that you're beautiful, I choose to say that you're attractive, but that doesn't mean that you are. Everybody else could think opposite. And that for some reason, that same conversation when you said I choose to love you was like a trigger for me. And I think that's why I was kind of like offended right away, and then it took me a minute to kind of absorb it. I understand where he's coming from, and then it's like, okay, yeah, that makes sense. Cause then I went back to that same scenario and I was like, Yeah, it's true. Like someone could think that I'm ugly and somebody else could think that I'm beautiful. Everybody has a different perception or whatever opinion. So that's what that was. But I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Interesting.
SPEAKER_02Everybody's feels misunderstood at some point. I think you just get it a lot because you're very direct.
Art, Family, And A Misread Song
SPEAKER_00You know what? So all right, so there's the biggest misunderstanding from my family, right? Now my family I wrote a song. Okay. You know where I'm going with this?
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00I wrote a song, okay? This song to me is a great song. But when I listen to a song, I'm thinking about the artistry and how you could write something and the perspective you're coming from. And it could be about some that has nothing to do with me, but if you write it in a way like artistically I just I look at the artistic side of things, right? So I wrote this song and everyone misunderstands this song. There's a guy that I cut and I've probably been cutting him for three years and he's like bro I just understood what that song was about right now after you told me this. Right? So this song a lot of people in my family got offended by it I wrote a song from a perspective of my idea was okay I'm in a relationship with a woman who has kids growing up I was the kid in the relationship you know and I'm looking at the the mom and the dad in that relationship. So now I'm I'm playing the side that I was criticizing as a child. Now the song is harsh but it has to be harsh in order to get my point across to understand what's going on and how I looked at it as a kid and it was extreme. And then I had to turn around and sit on the other side of the table and look at it from the stepfather's perspective. And that's what that song is about. But people took it as oh you're saying you don't like the guy you're saying you don't this you don't this and you don't this and it's like I took every guy my mom's ever dated balled them up into one person. Now it sounds more like one person but it's more of a your experiences. Yeah it's more of everything but I also wrote it to where it's a cycle that I was also living in because my grandma had a boyfriend who's not my mom's dad. My mom had guys that she dated that weren't my dad now I'm dating someone with kids and I'm a I'm not their dad. So no no one caught that in the family they just looked at it like oh you don't like this person and you're telling family information drama and you're doing this and you're doing this and it's like this is how I express myself because as a child I'd never learned how to express myself and I've never expressed myself about any of this.
SPEAKER_02Yeah that's all a part of growing up and being able to actually like deal with your trauma deal with your like you start to realize why you do certain things as an adult and you realize what it is and I think being able to talk about that someone else is going to be able to relate to that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah exactly and there's a lot of people who said oh we all got the same stories and I relate to that and same thing with my family and all that.
SPEAKER_02But you but I but I can see I can see where you said I had to understand where they're coming from too because if you think about it I don't think any of your family understands poetry like that though. Yeah or like I don't think anybody that would hear that I don't even think anyone that does that's not his family would hear that song and really actually understand it until later or until they realize that I'm that woman that he's with now with kids that are not his biologically. So in a sense like I get it but I I feel like when they're the closest people to him they should have understood what that song meant. And I think that was like a that was where the misunderstanding was and I think they thought it was a current thing instead of understanding that no this is actually you if you just hear the song you'll understand what we're saying. I feel like that happens to you with all kinds of things though. Yeah. Because he could talk about his father he could we could make a podcast about growing up as kids and what we experience and what we want better for ourselves or our kids or our family. And I still think it gets taken offensively because it's like we I think sometimes they think oh well well I was there or that never happened to you and you aren't there though. You're not our eyes you weren't in our experiences. We're just saying what we experienced not what you experienced you may have experienced it from a totally different perspective but the same way that we're trying to understand where you're coming from you have to see where we're coming from and we have a right to express that and to talk about it. Because at the end of the day it does help a lot of people we have a lot of people that say that it's so relatable but yeah I know what you mean that happens a lot too with a lot of stuff you just feel like you're always misunderstood.
SPEAKER_00That's what he's trying to say I mean yeah but I also I've never expressed these things to my mom or to the people in my life because we don't we I've never grew up in that household where we could I could express myself.
SPEAKER_02So it's your outlet to do that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah there's yeah there's and I feel like it's your choice to listen or not exactly there's things today that I still have never talked to anyone in my family about that I've talked to you about and that's just what it is.
Expression, Perspective, And Healing
SPEAKER_02And that's fine. Because I mean at the end of the day they may not understand it either way even if you try I'm telling you there's things that I'll I'll say to my mom or like remind her of something that I went through and she literally and God bless her because I really don't think she's later I really don't think she remembers or I don't think she knew it was that bad for me. Like I'll mention something and she's just kind of like say mine's the opposite where my mom will feel bad. My mom will feel kind of guilty and she's just like like one day we're on the phone we're talking about like my childhood and stuff and she was like do you think that I was a bad mom and I was like I don't think that you were a bad mom. I think you were a busy mom. I think that you were just trying so hard to work and make money to support kids on your own. I don't think you were a bad mom. I just think that you weren't there to see when I was struggling. I don't think you were I don't think we had a home where we could just talk and express ourselves and communicate. And that really did a lot of damage to me. So that's why as a mom now like I do really try to be an open book and I don't want my kids to run all over me but like I want them to know that they can talk to me and feel safe because I don't want them to go through that. And I don't want them to be able to say that like well you weren't there and you didn't understand where I was coming from it takes a lot like to understand where a kid's mind is but yeah I I just think I think you deal with that way more than me.
SPEAKER_00For sure. Mine's more with like friends but I'm also like I'm my grandma's oldest grandchild and my mom's oldest child I don't it's one of those things like I'm in between right because I'm only so many years younger than my youngest uncle so I'm more like my mom's younger brother my uncle's younger brother my grandma's youngest son rather than the oldest grandchild the oldest child so I think it's it's one of those like I'm I'm literally on the fine line of the the the age gaps and the the difference between oh this is my mom versus this is my older sister. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Because it's more like I grew up with my mom. So my siblings they kind of I don't know whenever something happens I'm the last to know because they feel like they'll get in trouble with me and it's like that's y'all dog I ain't raising you. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02It's because they don't want to disappoint you you ain't gotta worry about disappointing me.
SPEAKER_00You gotta worry about going to jail but that's I ain't gonna be in the sale with you dog.
Pressure, Gender Roles, And Online Comments
SPEAKER_02Yeah no I agree I agree with you because I'll be there for plenty of conversations and and they'll ask me or they'll be like you're so you're so um judgmental I agree with them but let me say okay I don't think you're judgmental I think it comes off that way that's really what what I mean when I say that and in the midst of it you know we're just talking and whatever it's fine it's like he doesn't really take anything offensively anyways but it's like yeah you're judgmental but it's just more of like I'm offended you just come off that way I don't know how to explain it like you're just very I mean you're just smart what you're just smart I don't know you just you're just someone that people don't want to disappoint I don't understand I don't know how to explain it but I agree what I'm saying though with that with that being said is that those same people including myself like should really only care about disappointment because I think about this all the time like okay I'm gonna do Pilates but I always I've had so much growth within my own mindset where I'm like I know he would love for me to do that but not because he cares about how I look or whatever it's because of my he wants me to be healthy and happy right but for me I feel like I have to really think about it like okay am I gonna do Pilates because I want to for myself or is it because I know he would want me to does that make sense when I was going to school I had to think about it am I really going to school because I I want to or because he wants me to because he's a pusher and he will push once you say you're gonna do something he'll help you and he'll push you to do that right that's what a spouse is supposed to do or a friend whatever a good friend but I had to like really think about like am I doing it though because like I want to and it's for me or is it for him because I care so much about what you think of me. Wow see and I think that's a lot of what your family and friends feel is like I care about what he thinks of me. I see it all the time like like one of your supplies will be like yeah I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do this I've heard it for years and nothing's happened nothing's changed and then it just stops they stop saying it they stop telling you stuff because I already know in their mind they're like well I haven't done it yet because you're gonna you're the kind of person to be like don't tell me you're gonna do it if you're not gonna do it. Or you're straight up like you said that last time you ain't you're I ain't gonna or you're straight up like you ain't gonna do it. No you're not so that's what people mean. But I've had so much growth that like I'm at peace with that now because everything that I'm doing for myself I'm really doing it for myself. I'm not doing it for you and me anymore. Whereas I feel like before I kind of was um but now it's just I want to work out for myself or like I I won't do something. There's days when I'm like I ain't gonna do anything I and that's really how I feel I'm not doing anything. That's for myself yeah I try to not make you feel under misunderstood. I do I I feel like I've had growth I feel like you can have conversations with me I'm not gonna get that I don't get that offended anymore like what what I don't know I'm just over here offended by what? No I'm just playing so yeah let me ask you this what is one thing you're looking forward to this year really just being financially free interesting yeah I d um it's it's I don't know probably not I know money is not everything but I'm sorry it is no it's not no god first but like money it is no it's not yes it is not like I've been saying how tired I am and stuff and I know everyone's like well you're gonna be working even harder I have this one friend that I talked to about like my getting you know growing my waxing and stuff and they're just like but it's gonna be harder when you're on your own and it's gonna be harder when you have to build your own client you don't think I know that I know that but what I do know is nothing feels better than doing something working so hard and you get to bring that money home to you I'm bringing money home to a corporation right now. I'm not bringing money like that home to myself I am working I mean work like a slave and I'm not making money like that. So there's not there's not we can't just go take a trip when we want we can't just enjoy going out and doing all these things everything costs money. Right now I'm working for a corporation and it's not like that. So like you're not gonna convince me to stay with the corporation for stability and a paycheck like I understand it's gonna be hard work. I know I'm gonna be tired still but for me it'll be worth it just like I'm trying to get through this journey where I know it's gonna be worth it um for the outcome but yeah I feel like that's you tired I'm listening to that's what I want see this was life with a Mexican woman dog she's about to cuss me out if you're tired about that because I blink. Anyway yeah financial stability that's what you're looking forward to yes because then that means spending more time together not having to work as long and as many hours one day being able to take the kids and go to I don't know a jumpy place or something something fun a jumpy place.
Homelessness, School, And Hustle
SPEAKER_00Like think about our everyday routine everyday I don't know just something take a trip somewhere I don't know I'll be chilling my daily routine you need to live life more you are not living life no you're not it's so fun you don't think life is so fun I'm thankful but no this is not it wow y'all hear this y'all hear this that's crazy what's crazy we may be growing into two different what's crazy I think we're going in two different pathways that's crazy wow y'all hear this that's crazy to me what's crazy you're too comfortable I'm not comfortable I'm at a point where I've done a lot you've done a lot hold on now hold on now I'm at a point where I've done a lot and now I'm watching you go through what I went through you know what I mean but I'm also in a place of limbo because is that funny go ahead why are you in limbo I came talking peace you see what I'm saying you see what I'm saying and she don't want me to be offended anyways I'm about to tell you do this put your lips together anyways so we're at a point where in our studio we don't know if people are leaving people are not leaving I don't know if I'm gonna be by myself next year or I'm gonna have someone with me next year in the studio so I think later this year I'll figure all that out but for now it's just like whatever happens happens and you will be transitioning to your next phase before I go through that part. So I feel like everything that I have to plan for it'll be for possibly the beginning of next year. But since you asked what am I excited for this year? I'm excited to go to Washington Yeah I agree we are planning a trip to Washington because Isaac our friend Isaac is getting married and he was the only person there when we got married him and your mom that's it so this is gonna be a full circle moment. And I get to see my niece so I got two nieces in Washington one I haven't met yet but I've met her like you know FaceTime and all that same then the other one you know she was a baby when I lived with them now she's a grown little thing. She has her nails done and yeah that's great.
SPEAKER_02All grownish no same for me I haven't even got to meet my second niece and my brother been away for a long time you know I'm excited for that too I'm not gonna lie I'm a little like I'm a little like not scared but I'm like dang what are we gonna go back and what is it gonna be like old tri cities we haven't been to Washington since before COVID.
SPEAKER_00So we haven't been to visit her family or my brother out there. So the only people I have out there is my brother his two daughters and a couple friends but for the most part that's where her family is and yeah she's been ducking them I ain't gonna lie she been ducking them I'm sorry but we need explanations um I love my family but my mom's the one that visits me every year. We we've been to Iowa every year.
Cost Of Living And Next Steps
SPEAKER_02I'm tired of going to Iowa we've been seeing his family all the time every year every year with your family let's go visit your family okay we've already talked about that my mom is one guy that has my mom and my aunt and your uncle my aunt and my uncle came out to visit me but of all my family in Tri-Cities which I don't have a huge family all of them have come no they have not giv came your sister hasn't yes okay biv came come on man shout out shout out my boy Darby I don't have a huge Darby I don't have a shut up so I can say it I don't have a huge family though like honestly you know my I don't have a huge family obviously my grandma can't come out here Erica ain't real Hispanic because her family is like it's small less than 10 people yeah so I don't really and like yeah I have friends up there that I definitely am excited to see but other than that I feel like the people that I need to see besides my sister like I would love for my sister to come visit me. Um but luckily for her I'll be out there um other than that like I don't have anybody else truthfully that I really care to see that hasn't already come out here so obviously like I said besides like my sister Maribel that's like I'm so serious I'm the rest of the list I really don't have any oh besides like Isaac you know mom and dad Isaac's mom and dad um of course I want to see like his brother and his and um his nieces but I can't really think of anybody else to be honest I've just been focused on my life here in Arizona and this has been a like this has been a long six years of just trying to like grow and honestly I think I'm thankful I'm not where I was when we first moved here um but like it's so it's just it's a growing process and if I was so concerned about visiting every year back home I would totally be way behind than where I'm at. I just don't believe in that like I have people I have a couple friends that they're always complaining about money but they they take trips every year which one was that they take trips every year like three times a year and I'm just like do you not understand that that's why I don't take trips like that like I'm not free I would love to go to New York and California and all that and I get it like live life YOLO is what people say but like no I've done that before I've wasted so much time and like I just want to stay focused and that's why I'm just I'm it sucks but that's all I'm focused on right now is like my family my Growing myself and like trying to get to where I want to be financially and with my career. I finally found something I really do love and I know I'm gonna be good at. I don't have time for fun. I don't. It sucks, but I don't. So that's why I haven't been back. And yes, it's family, but like I said, my mom and my aunt, my uncle, they're they're the only ones that come out to visit me in six years.
SPEAKER_00And your cousin, don't forget Darby.
SPEAKER_02And my cousin and Darby and her kids. But you know, other than that, I'm sorry, no one else comes to see me or visit me. Why should I prioritize that? Well it's yeah, of course I'm gonna choose to go to with you to Iowa because that's your family comes to see us all the time.
SPEAKER_00No, they don't.
SPEAKER_02Well, they they come and live with us. But um, yeah, I don't know. I just I'm excited for this year, to be honest. As much as I may not look like it every day, I'm excited because I know what I have planned and I refuse to settle. I'm not comfortable. I'm thankful I'm not where I used to be, but I'm not comfortable. There's so much more for my kids.
SPEAKER_00Because I feel like you're taking sneak disses at me right now. I'm not comfortable.
SPEAKER_02I'm not dissing you. I said you're comfortable.
SPEAKER_00I'm not comfortable. I'm just waiting for you to get to this point. Right. Then we can just like you know.
SPEAKER_02Why have they got it?
SPEAKER_00You know why? You know why? Because you're gonna make way more money than I make.
SPEAKER_02So it is about money.
SPEAKER_00No, listen, Linda. Because all through school, I had to be the breadwinner all through all that, and that's fine because I am your husband and we're a partnership, right? But when you start making more and the economy's so trash, we can actually live the life that I imagined we would. You know what I mean? We would actually be able to do all the things that we planned to do when we first got together, and that's because we're a 50-50 household. No, we're not 50-50 because sometimes I gotta do 70, and sometimes you gotta do 70. No, no, no, okay.
SPEAKER_02What I mean is that 50-50, no. What I meant was, yeah, you're right. It has been where I'm 50 and you're 20.
SPEAKER_01What I mean is equal 100.
SPEAKER_02Wait, because what I meant to say. What I meant to say was 70. Listen. Because I just watched a video like this yesterday where the man was saying, My woman don't gotta work, and blah, blah, I'm gonna provide, blah, blah, because we've already had that conversation too. What I meant to say was because we are a woman and man working household. Because people are gonna take that however they want, what you just said, because there's so many men and women that believe the woman the man should be providing, and it shouldn't take for me to have to do X, Y, and Z for us to be able to do that. But because we're a woman and man household that works, that's what it is. That's why it's the way that it is. Period.
SPEAKER_00You tell them, girl.
SPEAKER_02Because I already know what you just said, that's a trigger for some people. Look, hold on, man. Hold on. Let's get to this. Let's get to this.
SPEAKER_00Y'all was in the comments talking crazy, talking about let me let me read them. Let me read them, actually, because y'all was getting a little disrespectful. Like, Erica, are you unhappy? Because it was a bunch of single women in my comments talking crazy. Like, like I was just so bad. And it was, it blew my mind.
SPEAKER_02I'm not unhappy, but I understand. I know not that I understand like how other how they're saying it, but for me as a woman, like, yeah, there are times when if I'm down and out, it's because I'm like, dang, man, like I really do have to do. I gotta, I gotta get through this so that I can be uh, you know, a successful, a successful solo waxer. So that what he just said, that pressure is on me. Did you have you thought about that? That pressure is so heavy on me because what he's saying is we can't do X, Y, and Z, or we can't, which is simple stuff, y'all. Like it's not like I'm asking to travel the world. What we want is like a home to get out of our two-bedroom apartment that we've been in for six years. At least that's what I want. I want a place for our kids' kids to come one day, and like our kids' friends, and like I want to have the space, and I want like a room for our our our um podcast. I have just I've always been a dreamer, and so like I have a lot of visions of what I want for myself and my family, and that's why I'm getting to where I'm getting because I have that mindset where I'm like, I'm not comfortable, I'm not where I need to be. That's just what it is, and um, but like what he's saying is accurate. We're just not that couple where like he can just do what he's doing and everything's taken care of. It's just that's what it is. That's why I took on the career that I'm going into because I know that it will make more money than what he's making, and I could probably support us on my own. There's women in those comments that are not for.
SPEAKER_00Hold on, no, let me tell it. Let me tell it. Let me tell it, right? So let me tell y'all what I do, right? I pick the kids up from school, I take them to school, I go to work, um, all that. There's no like, I don't expect her to take care of the kids because she's the woman in the relationship, but I don't have to explain that to nobody. There's women on here saying, uh, I sound mad and grateful. Yeah, Miranda 6193. Yeah, um, I'm a huge red flag. Um shut up and let her talk. Like, she ain't been talking the whole episode. Y'all don't be watching the whole episode, bro. Y'all just be in the comments talking, bro. And it's like you guys are single women. I don't care if you're single or not. I'm gonna be honest with you. You're if you are cool, if you're not cool. But my relationship, your relationship, you have no say in this relationship, dog. Um, why am I acting like that? Like, just crazy comments. Yeah, they uh who is that? Uh Sophia James575175. Like, why is your area code and your name? What are we talking about, bro?
SPEAKER_02I don't read the comments.
SPEAKER_00Y'all need to go get a boyfriend. Y'all need to go find a man.
SPEAKER_02See, that's why I don't read the comments because I ain't gonna lie, I deleted something because they was wildin'.
SPEAKER_00It's like, bro, what?
SPEAKER_02I don't read the comments. The only comment I ever read, truthfully, the only comment I ever read was the one where they said, she sound great, or she sounds blessed to have you. Like, shut up.
SPEAKER_00You blessed to have me, though, dude.
SPEAKER_02You don't think I know that?
SPEAKER_00You bless to have me.
SPEAKER_02You bless to have me too, too.
SPEAKER_00You blessed to have me, though.
SPEAKER_02But I mean, that's people watching clips or whatever. But I'm just saying, because sometimes, yeah, you say stuff like that, and it's like, oh god, here we go.
SPEAKER_00I say stuff like nah, Miranda can go. I ain't gonna say it, but you know where she can go. You feel me? I don't care about none of that.
SPEAKER_02Yes, guys, there's been times when when like we've talked about before, we've been homeless together. Not a lot of women, not a lot of women would go through that with their man. Okay. Um, like there's been times when he was in school and I had to make the money to make rent, and then we got evicted because I wasn't making a lot. Um, we had to live with friends. Uh, he had to live with family um and friends. And then there's been times when he's I was in school for esthetician school. There was a time when I was working for like a manager, I was a manager at a at a business and I was making decent money, I guess, whatever. And he was cutting hair and we were okay. But then I feel like we weren't really planning ahead, we weren't really thinking about wait, we really need to get up here because we need to start doing all this, whatever. Um, then I decided to go to school for that reason. Because I realized, okay, we're just comfortable, like it's not enough. So then I went to school, figured out what I wanted to do. And during while I was in school, I'm working full time. So it's not like I just stopped working. I was working full-time, going to school full-time, and that also took a lot because um even though I was working full-time, I don't know. Oh, I had we had to pay for my school, wasn't it? Because I was still working.
SPEAKER_00We were doing something, yeah.
SPEAKER_02I was still working full time, but for some reason he had to pick up more slack.
SPEAKER_00But but when when you left school, we didn't have rent and stuff because we basically were living with other people. Yeah. When you're in school, we have more bills.
SPEAKER_02So that's why I was more bills now in general than ever. But and then now it's like where I'm working somewhere consistently. I've been there almost a year. So proud of myself because I do leave jobs. I'm so proud of myself. Almost a year in May. My goodness I don't make a lot there. I make, I mean, I make like whatever. What I don't know how to say that.
SPEAKER_00You make all right money.
SPEAKER_02And I have bills to pay. So even with what I make, I don't get to bring the whole thing home. So he has to compensate for that. And he makes really good money. So think about that. It's like he's a barber, he touches a lot of money every day. But then it's like someone told me one time the more money you make, the more you spend. So true. So so true. That's the scary part. Um, so yeah, I feel like even though he makes a lot of money, it's it's still not enough, especially in this economy, to support all of us and to do that all on his own.
SPEAKER_00But there's other things he does, like you said, he's but but Arizona's got so expensive since we've been here. Like it's like California. Everything's gone up a lot.
SPEAKER_02So you need to be able to.
SPEAKER_00If we were in this situation and the economy was how it was when we first moved here, we'd been fine. But it's different now because it's we're so far along, you know what I mean? So yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02But yeah, so that was a kind of a lot everywhere, but I think Avery just needed to let it out on this podcast. Because before this, y'all, I was falling asleep, and now I'm awake.
Closing And Social Links
SPEAKER_00All right, we're gonna wrap this up because she's tripping. Like, subscribe, um, follow. Um, all that good stuff. Follow me on TikTok, Cussby Cruise. I got three accounts. Cuss by Cruise, Tino Cruise, Cruise Control. Cruise Control is gaming. Tino Cruise is my personal, Cusby Cruise is my barber page. Follow Erica at I don't even know her name no more.
SPEAKER_02Erica Pledge.
SPEAKER_00That's on one.
SPEAKER_02That's all they need. Follow my TikTok. Instagram, Erica.
SPEAKER_00I don't know what it is.
SPEAKER_02It doesn't matter. I don't follow, I don't be on Instagram like that. I only be posting positive stuff on Instagram and my reviews. So follow me on TikTok, Erica Pledge.
SPEAKER_00And this is season two of the other half podcasts. We'll catch you guys in the next one.
unknownPeace.