Overdramatic and Problematic
A podcast made for teenagers by teenagers!
Hosted by literally two insane girls, Silan and Maria.
Get ready for laughs (mostly at our expense), relatable moments, and a whole lot of learning along the way.
We're just teenage girls figuring out life while you listen in.
Join us for the fun – it's about to get crazy!
If you have stories or questions you'd like us to discuss, send them to our email or Instagram. We'd love to hear from you and share our thoughts in an upcoming episode!
overdramaticandproblematic@gmail.com
Overdramatic and Problematic
The Battle Scars of Bullying
Have you ever wondered why the standard advice for handling bullying rarely works? In this raw and revealing episode, we dive deep into our personal experiences with bullying and uncover what actually helps when facing cruel treatment from peers. We share how different approaches to handling bullies can work depending on the situation, and why the standard advice of "just ignore them" often fails.
If you're experiencing bullying, please reach out to Dolly's Dream or another trusted helpline. You deserve support, and you're not alone.
Overdramatic and Problematic pretty big episode for you, yep.
Speaker 2:So this week we are going to be talking about bullying, which is kind of heavy, but hopefully we can make it as light as possible. Me and Maria have been through a lot of bullying 13 years up my sleeve.
Speaker 1:Honestly, I look back fondly. It's like how, like jobs, look for the requirements of how long you've been working. How long have you been bullied? 13 years up my sleeve, but first we always do our check-in.
Speaker 2:Yes, how has your week been? I have had an eventful week.
Speaker 1:Oh, I have a really insane story to tell.
Speaker 2:You probably already told me this, but my memory is so bad.
Speaker 1:I have, but it's okay, it's for the people listening, because I literally feel like it was a movie. My life feels like a movie.
Speaker 2:Girl. No, never say that again. Oh my God, this summer was such a movie. Last night was a movie. The party of the summer. I never, literally never in your life. Please, I beg you, remove that phrase from your vocabulary Last week's not like a movie?
Speaker 1:Give it out, no, okay. And I probably shouldn't say this on the podcast, because that's what makes it juicy? No, it's going to embarrass me. Oh, because it's about people at my school, so I just know it's going to go crazy. Okay, so I went with my mum to Woolworths and oh, okay, okay, okay okay, okay, oh, here we go.
Speaker 1:So I went with my mum to Woolworths because we had to kill some time in a shopping centre and we go to the deli. She had to go to a shopping centre, so she went to Woolworths. No, no, no. We were like shopping for food for home. Grocery shopping yeah, exactly. Grocery. Grocery shopping yeah, exactly. Grocery. Grocery shopping, grocery or grocery, it doesn't matter. Okay, go. So I went to the deli and this guy is serving us. We got olives.
Speaker 2:And he's like start serving us our olives. Oh, is that why you wanted to eat olives when you got home today?
Speaker 1:No, you wanted to reminisce, anyways. So he turns around and my mom turns to me and she goes he is so sweet, and I go, he's cute as well, and she's like you should ask him for his number. And I was like no, I haven't even said hi to this guy, he's like a random guy at the Woolworths deli, I'm not asking him for his number you got to work as a new to hello, what, like you said, I haven't even said hi to him.
Speaker 2:Like you didn't go up to the kind of like oh hi, can I get some olives please? Who you just like, bitch, give me the olives. Well, I smiled, but my mom asked for the oh yeah, jesus christ, for someone who works in hospitality well, she asked for the olives. I smiled anyways okay, well, I I smile. You're a very seductive smile.
Speaker 1:I, I smiled anyways. So we get our olives and we go to the front counter. Who this man? You know, the man who is like being a checkout person serving us. Even cuter first. First of all, than the guy that was serving me at the deli and my mum goes, oh, I should ask him if he knows the guy working at the deli. And I was like no, don't. And my mum goes to this checkout guy and goes, oh, do you know everyone working here?
Speaker 2:And then I just had this Subtle as an elephant. I love your mother.
Speaker 1:But I had this weird feeling. Right, that's not the phrase, is it? It's subtle, as as if an elephant can be subtle.
Speaker 2:It's like giant. No, I know, but there's a phrase. It's subtle as a I can't remember what the phrase is.
Speaker 1:You may as well be saying subtle, as a peacock, like elephants're not subtle.
Speaker 2:I don't think it's subtle as an elephant, guys, this is going to irritate me until I die.
Speaker 1:It doesn't matter.
Speaker 2:I'm Googling this one. We're done, go so.
Speaker 1:I had this. After she asked him, I had this weird feeling and I turned to my mom and I was like just do it, just ask him. He knows the. She turns to him and she goes do you know the guy working at the deli? Because my daughter thinks he's cute. Oh, that part gets me every time. Why could you not just ask we start explaining how this man looks to this other guy? He goes oh, I know who you're talking about. Do you want me to give you his Instagram? I was like, yeah, he pulls up this guy's Instagram, he clicks on it and he goes is this him? Even hotter guy, not the guy that was working at the deli, even hotter guy. And I was like, no, that's not him, I wish it was Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2:You were collecting them all like Pokemon that day, I swear to God.
Speaker 1:Teach me your ways.
Speaker 2:Teach me your trade secrets.
Speaker 1:It gets more. So like we're talking to this guy and he gets like really invested, yeah, and he calls over this girl co-worker, right, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:And he starts asking he's such a girl's girl for like getting invested. By the way, like he's like no, I care, we're getting your husband. No, literally.
Speaker 1:And he starts like asking this woman as this is happening conversation, there's this customer who had just, like, bought something and my mom turns to me and she goes is that him?
Speaker 2:and I was like no, because the guy who I thought was cute, had braces and was working.
Speaker 1:He just looks similar. Like you know, guys can look similar, people can look similar in life, anyways similar. So back to this is all happening while the checkout guy's asking this other girl who works there yeah, who's the guy working at the deli? She turns to this customer and the customer goes that's my brother. No, no, no, no. He goes that's my twin brother, identical twin brother.
Speaker 2:This bitch is like oh, but you know, guys can look similar. They were identical, twins identical, and she didn't see the resemblance.
Speaker 1:What do you mean? I did. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:No, but you know what I mean. You're like oh, they look similar.
Speaker 1:They're identical, it's the same person, it's the same literal person and I was like holy shit, there's no way.
Speaker 2:Actually we're very different. We're very different people.
Speaker 1:There's no way in the universe that this man that I thought was cute his identical twin was being a customer right behind me during this conversation as you were like drooling over his brother.
Speaker 2:Well, that's a bit much.
Speaker 1:So we turned to this guy because he's like that's my identical twin brother and I'm like, okay, I'm suddenly uncomfortable and he goes that must mean you think I'm cute.
Speaker 2:Then oh no, I mean like I might have before. You said that, emma, you think highly of yourself, don't you?
Speaker 1:No, I was like, okay, like he was sure, but like they weren't. Like she did think he was cute. No, no, no, no. Like they weren't identical, like they're identical but I could tell the difference. But like I don't want to say anything bad, because they'll most likely listen to this, hit her up, you're a true wifey right there. No, no, no. Like you're a beautiful person, I just like your identical twin brother.
Speaker 2:Anyway, Like you're crazy, don't get me wrong, but like I'm not physically attracted to you, I'm attracted to the guy that looks exactly like you.
Speaker 1:That shares the same DNA, Anyways.
Speaker 2:so it gets worse.
Speaker 1:It gets worse. Sorry for the. Why am I sorry? Okay, it gets worse Sniffily. Yeah, I'm sorry that I'm sniffily. Anyways, you should be. So we end up me and my mum mom have a 40 minute long conversation with the identical twin brother anyways. So we have a 40 minute long conversation with this guy right, and during this time he's trying to get me to like be into him instead of his identical twin brother. I was like I'm really sorry, I know you shouldn't be that hard.
Speaker 2:It really shouldn't be that hard they're the same person.
Speaker 1:And then this is where it gets the bottom, the bottom of the barrel. That absolutely made me want to hop into my deathbed, dig a grave, jump in, bury myself alive In that order and then stab myself in there. Get somebody like raking, Anyway.
Speaker 2:So but if you're buried, okay, that order. I get what you're saying, but like let's, we'll work on our series of events later. We'll fix that up, no, you got this.
Speaker 1:He looks at me up and down and he goes I go to your school.
Speaker 2:Oh no, no, no, no See, that would have been the end of me.
Speaker 1:That's it, right then, and there that's it, is it?
Speaker 2:That's the end of me. Breathe, girl. Breathe. He's not in the room with us. Breathe, Take some calming. Curtis is embarrassed of you. Take some calming breaths Because he's not in the room, Okay.
Speaker 1:I'm flustered. There you go, the checkout guy Don't say you're flustered.
Speaker 2:He's going to get the wrong idea.
Speaker 1:The checkout guy that we had been talking to said they were 19. So I thought they had finished school. These twin identical brothers go to my school.
Speaker 2:They go to my school. He was literally wearing the school socks as she was having this conversation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I looked down and I was like she's not observant at all. He was going to the gym so he was wearing normal clothes and I looked down and he had the school socks on and I was like, of course, yeah it.
Speaker 2:And he had the school socks on and I was like, of course, yeah, it was there the whole time. Do you like? Personally, do you wear socks that aren't your school socks Like, unless I specifically need like black socks, I'm in my school socks.
Speaker 2:No I only wear my school socks for school. I love my school socks. I wear them everywhere. They're very safe. I feel like this is not insane, like I've seen other people on a weekend yeah, interesting. Like if you come find me at work, I will be in my school socks anyways, I'm repping the merch.
Speaker 1:It does kind of get more okay, yeah, okay, go, go, go so we're talking to this man as well and he decides I don't know how it came up in conversation, but he has he decides to show us a photo of his older brother who is even hotter I I don't want to say this because I know they're going to listen to this.
Speaker 1:I'm so sorry, please. I'm so sorry, but like I got the worst end of the deal in this whole situation, this brother was like elite, like elite Like I was. I'm so sorry, guys, please forgive me. You're actually the sweetest people.
Speaker 2:I'm praying for the Lord to give you some common sense right now.
Speaker 1:Honestly, no, no, no, actually the sweetest people, like praying for lord to give you some common sense right now. Honestly no, no, but. But let me say there would. He was genuinely the nicest person like I want to be which one twin to the one.
Speaker 2:I had a 40 minute conversation. Yeah, yeah, and I was so sweet I want to be his friend. He's so sweet, yeah, um he's literally getting friend zoned through a podcast. Do you know how humbling that is? He's getting friend zoned through a podcast. Me personally, I would die. Rip me, I died dead. That would be the end of that. Well, you know what? The whole time you would spot me in the background hanging from my ceiling fan.
Speaker 1:No, the whole what do you mean? The whole time, the whole time this was going on, I was like do it for the plot. We do a podcast now. I need a story. I didn't think it was going to be this good. Anyways, sorry, anyways. So I was like I've gone this far right and like I feel like it was fate that he was standing behind me.
Speaker 2:I have to ask. Oh no, I forgot about this.
Speaker 1:I have to ask for the brother's Instagram she turns to this man.
Speaker 2:She's had a conversation with him and at the end of the 40 minute conversation he goes. So can I have your identical twin brother's instagram? Oh my god, when you told me that, because she called me like immediately, when she was like. She was in the car. She called me and I was like you have zero shame, woman.
Speaker 1:No, but I have no shame he could have been my I don't think he is, but he could have been my husband like it felt, like fate.
Speaker 2:It felt like fate like he's, like his brother, was standing right behind me his identical twin that had been into you and flirting with you and trying to convince you to make a move for 40 minutes. And at the end of that conversation, this man is looking you up and down and after he like pulls out all the stops, you're like, yeah, so your identical twin. Is he available, don't you?
Speaker 1:think it would have been worse if I was like oh, you're identical twin brothers, really cute. But actually I'm gonna move to you now, don't you think that's worse?
Speaker 2:well he was into you. They're identical. I don't think it would have made much of a difference anyways. Maybe I just don't understand how like. Anyways, listen to this bit.
Speaker 1:So me and my mother are like well, it was so nice to meet you. We're going to aldi's now because we had to get things at different stores he goes oh, I'm walking, that way, I'll walk you, this man walks her and she still wants the twin.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm saying. If they were fraternal and they looked differently like, okay, sure, if there was a big difference in between the way they look like. Sometimes identical twins don't look identical. I've seen pictures of these men. They are the same man.
Speaker 1:They're not. They're like. I can looking at the photos.
Speaker 2:I could immediately tell which one she wanted. But that's more like a vibe kind of thing. Um, she goes for a certain type of vibe like that kind of like dorky, like I play music I'm misunderstood, I work on farm and I never finished high school. Like if, if that's, you hit her up because she will eat it up, but like no, not like that, not like that, and I was so careful not to say she would eat you up. I was so careful, not like that guys, please.
Speaker 1:okay, I think podcast done on me, sorry, sorry, podcast done and over.
Speaker 2:So wait I just I feel like I need to say that I did also get his Instagram Not as like a yeah, so she could get it in with the fam and have a backup in case the first one didn't work out, and also because she wanted to stalk his DMs and find the older brother, because there's nine of them. She was getting her options in place.
Speaker 1:They have nine brothers.
Speaker 2:I could choose one of them Jesus. Well, at least you know you'll never find someone new at Thanksgiving If one doesn't work out.
Speaker 1:I just go through the rest.
Speaker 2:Insane and I thought I was shameless. Genuinely, you make me look like a saint.
Speaker 1:Honestly Good lord the funniest part was that when he walked us, breathe Flub, that when he walked us Breathe love.
Speaker 1:When he walked us. I'm really hot now Speaking of that, I can't breathe, sorry guys. When he walked us to Aldi Can we mute her? When he walked us to Aldi, his friends like called him over and he like left, and his friends were from another school, even hotter, I don't even know from another school, even hotter. I don't even know how this happened, because I don't even find, like many, like I have not. Oh, I probably shouldn't say this, I'm gonna say it. I haven't looked at one guy at my school and thought they were hot. I mean, these men go to my school, but I didn't know that. But anyways, I haven't looked at one guy at school and been like, oh, they're hot, so it's not a common occurrence. No, they were in uniforms that this other school.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, yeah, they were so gorgeous, but it wasn't your school uniform. No, but that doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:Anyway, that is pretty much my story. Shocking. My life felt like a movie Get out but how crazy is that, how insane is that.
Speaker 2:The part that really gets me is that you still asked for his identical twin brother's instagram after a 40 minute call. That's the insane part to me your lack of shame. Honestly, I just felt like it was fate insane.
Speaker 1:But I wait, wait. Can I just add? I really want to be friends with you guys. You guys are so sweet.
Speaker 2:You're really nice people so, honestly, my week hasn't been that eventful. I just like sprayed my ankle and then yeah, but you're in a moon boot, I am in a moon boot, I would pull it up, but my toes are hot on covering those because you don't get those for free. But DM me and Venmo me and I'll send you some pics. Yeah.
Speaker 1:How much do you charge per foot pic?
Speaker 2:I'm going to charge $100 per toe. So like, if two toes are exposed then that's a $200 pick. You know what I mean? Yeah, the DMing, it's good income. It really is. Honestly, what's with all the hate against feet pics? Soz, I don't get what you're getting from them. But with people that sell feet pics, it's not like I'm out here on OnlyFans like, hey, no, it's my foot. What kind of person Like no, I'm like it's my foot. Like what kind of person Literally, look at anyone walking around in Byron Bay Like sandals Like, yeah, I'll snap a pic. What's the harm? I don't get it. I really don't. What kind of person buys feet pic? Though? Hopefully one of our listeners DM me.
Speaker 1:DM me, we'll even paint our toenails for you. Trust, trust.
Speaker 2:Yeah, trust, trust. Yeah, that was a super eventful week, yeah. So, given um salon's lack of shame aside and my sprained ankle aside, we are here to talk about bullying, believe it or not. Literally, we always like have the craziest stories at the start that have nothing to do with our topic, but it's okay I think we're off for a good start, though I me personally, if I was like any of those nine brothers, I would report you for bullying at this point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, me too that was really mean. I'm really sorry. I I think you're really nice it gets worse, it gets worse.
Speaker 2:Okay, we're gonna keep quiet on that one and move on because I do think we're gonna make them cry um bullying? Why do you give it like a full intro song, jesus Christ.
Speaker 1:Should I be scared? I don't know, maybe you should. It's a big topic it is. We have a lot to say about it. Do you want to start? I'm scared to start. Scared of what Salon you? No, I'll start. I'll start. There are so many different forms and types of bullying. As a child, I never had cyberbullying. It was only physical bullying, either like behind my back or straight to my face.
Speaker 2:By physical do you mean like hey, yeah, hey, yeah, hey, yeah, physical, or do you mean just like in-person bullying?
Speaker 1:Well, more for me it was in-person bullying. There was a bit of physical but more in-person. I know you had a lot of physical and I had a lot more emotional bullying.
Speaker 2:That Not at the time, but like now I'm like oh, lols.
Speaker 1:Yeah, lols. But yeah, and I feel like now, like as a teenager, I'm sure it was still happening when I was a kid, but now that I'm a teenager there's so much more cyberbullying. What about you?
Speaker 2:I, yeah, honestly, same. I never really got a lot of cyber, mainly just because I'm like you're not texting me on my phone, you are not going to bully me on my cellular device, like, who do you think you are? Cellular device, cellular device Get with the times. I'm here. Yeah, thank you. It was a lot more in person, mainly just because I didn't let the cyber bullying happen. Look, the first time I ever went through anything bully-wise was this girl. I was in daycare in Brazil. I think I must have been like three or two or something like that. Is this the swing? This is?
Speaker 1:the story told us on the last did I about the?
Speaker 2:oh, I did, I did and I about the bitch that pushed me off the swing and I was like, oh my grandma, no, but it turned into bullying?
Speaker 2:oh, it did because her mom which, like, bless your heart, I'm sure you were just looking out for your child, but but like, if I see you, it's on sight. Anyways, her mum, she, like her daughter told her like a whole messed up story Not what actually happened, yeah, and then she confronted my mum yelling and screaming and kicking her little feet, and then her daughter, after that day, went around telling everyone like, oh, don't be friends with Maria. We're like like two to three years old, what the hell? She's going around telling everybody like don't be friends with her, like she's this, she's that spreading rumors that like obviously like two, three to three year old rumors, but like still being quite mean. And then it was just like an awful experience for me and like, at two to three years old, how, how have you even learned that?
Speaker 2:That's my thing, because I think a lot of the times, a lot of things that people say when it comes to bullying is, oh well, like they have something. They normally have something going on with them too, like you know what I mean. But, yeah, okay, definitely there have been some times where I look at a person who's being just unbelievably cruel and I know that there's something going on with them as well. But you know, some people are just they're taught by it like their older siblings or their parents can just be really mean to them or they've seen bullying and they think that's what they do.
Speaker 2:Like I know a lot of the times people grew up watching movies like and I'm never one to blame things on movies Like that's such a middle-aged, like mum thing to do. But for example, I know, even as when I was little, like watching like Mean Girls and stuff, like they were the popular ones, they were the it ones they were who think a lot of kids as well got the notion of oh well, if we want to be cool, if we want to be this, like that's, we get that through being mean. But sometimes people are just cruel and I think that story is just a prime example, because this girl we were in daycare and she went out of her way to make my life a living hell as a toddler.
Speaker 1:I want to quickly yeah, I want to quickly touch on what you just said about how a lot of the time we were told that things are happening in your bully's life to make them act like that, which, like sorry, what does?
Speaker 1:that have to do with me and I got told that Seek therapy. I got told that every single time I got bullied in primary school, yeah, and only last year I realized that is so not the case, because I made some really beautiful friends at school and they have really some of them have really, really, really hard lives, yeah, and they are the kindest, most beautiful people I know they had. They could go into a life of cruelty and bullying.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But they are the kindest people I know. They chose to be like that. It's a decision you make. If you want to bully someone and be cruel or if you want to be a kind person, yeah, definitely, it's a decision you make, and I only realized that last year, which is crazy.
Speaker 2:I think as well, like it is.
Speaker 2:But a lot of people are like, oh, is it like nature be nurture, kind of thing, and like it's, it's both like some people, some people just are mean and a lot of times like, oh, no, like cruelness isn't.
Speaker 2:Like isn't born, it's taught. Not all of the time, yeah, not all the time. Some people are just genuinely cruel in their dead little hearts. But I think one of the big things that schools say and like just environments say that I think is such a lie, is the way they tell you to handle those kinds of situations, especially with that. Oh, they have something going on like just leave them be, like, okay, what does? What the hell does that have to do with me? Actually, I have a story time.
Speaker 2:When I was in year seven there was this one girl who was genuinely the most insufferable human being I've ever met in my life and she was known at school for being a bully for no reason. She was just she liked it, she, she got joy out of it and she would get into physical fights and like stuff like that and she kind of chose me as like her next little victim. And it didn't start physical, it mainly started with, like, let's say, I would buy a tuck shop and I would leave it when I went to like the bathroom. When I came back, she'd eat all my food. Um, yeah, she would like eat all my food. Or she would, um, grab my bag and like throw it in the toilet. Or she would, yeah, yeah, that rat, I'm coming to find her right now. Or she would just kind of like be like taunting and annoying to my face, like that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:And then one day I was having a really tough go at it because I just I was not having a good morning. There was stuff going on at home and I got to school and I was just like a shell of a human being, like I was so dead, and I pull up to the function and I spot this girl out of the corner of my eye and I'm like, if she messes with me, today is not the fucking day. And I had a group of friends at the time that I was also going really rocky with. And this morning, after weeks of just like leaving me out, they were really nice to me and we were all standing in a circle and I was standing on one side and she comes and I see her coming from far away and she runs and she fake trips to crash into me and like bump me over.
Speaker 2:I stand up and take some deep breaths. I go to stand back in my spot. She's standing there now. I go to stand. She moves to block me. I move to the other side. She moves to block me. Take a deep, calm breath. I go around to the other side. My friend opens up a space for me.
Speaker 2:This girl fake trips again, and I mean fake trips like. She goes, oh my god, like flailing her arms in the air to the other side, crashes into me again. This time I fall to the floor. I get up and I'm like can you move out of my way? She pretends she can't hear me. I'm like can you get out of my way please? She pretends she can't hear me. I grab her shoulder and I'm like move. And when I do that, she throws me back. I crash, hit my head on a pole and she's like don't fucking touch me, as if she not just pushed me like three times already. I like get up and I'm like move out of my fucking way. She laughs at her little friend and she's like do you hear that.
Speaker 2:Um, okay, and I used to take you know those like reusable hard plastic cups to school like coffee cup yeah, it was like winter and I used to take tea every morning and I just lost my shit and I grabbed my empty tea cup and I flung it back. I smashed her on the head like so hard like you know she deserved it, I know, but it wasn't like a little, like genuinely, with like all the force of a thousand rages, like I'm surprised this cup didn't break. That's how hard I hit this girl and she turns around shocked because no one's ever reacted to her before. She's been a bully all throughout primary school. This is like towards the middle to end of year seven, she'd been a bully literally all her life. And she turns around clutching her head and she's like like she gasped, like she genuinely couldn't believe it. And I'm just standing there like fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. What did I do? What did I do? What did I do? And she turns to me and she grabs me in a chokehold Girl, what possessed you?
Speaker 2:to grab her in a chokehold she grabs me in a chokehold, pushes me up against a metal table and it's like you want to fight, you want to fight, you want to fight. I'm there and I'm just like um, no, I literally was like no, you smashed her in the head, mariah. Well, I didn't want to start a fight, I wanted her to get out of my way. Fair enough, yeah, but she was like you want to fight, you want to go, you want to go firstly.
Speaker 2:Firstly, can I throw a punch? No, would I break my hands? Yes, but would she walk away from that in a lot more pain than I would? Yes, because I definitely had more rage in my heart and which I think we've learned in during this podcast is that I have quite a bit of anger in my soul. But she, she's like you want to fight, you want to fight. I was like no, and I took her hand off my neck and I just ran and all her little friends were like coming after me and I went to stay like near the office and I called my best friend at the time and I was like babe, I messed up, I messed up so bad. And she's like what did you? And like I hit. You cannot say the person's name.
Speaker 2:Say it again, say it again, say the line again with a different name and I called her and I was like babe, like I messed up, like I called her and I was like babe, like I messed up, like I hit her, like I hit the school bully, and she was like what the hell? Like, what, like, what did you do? Like seriously, she's going to kill you, and I was like oopsies, well, lol. And then basically throughout the day, obviously the news went around the school and everybody's like how could you do that? Like you don't know what she has going on at home, like she's struggling so much.
Speaker 2:Kids were saying that yeah, and this is why I started the story because she had been tormenting me for weeks, if not like a solid two months at this point, and I hadn't reacted. Because I genuinely like I didn't, I was scared to, and she caught me on the worst day she possibly could have. That wasn't an action. I didn't hit her for no reason, like should I have reacted differently? Yeah, like probs, like I don't condone physical violence, but like that wasn't like that wasn't unprecedented, like she had it coming.
Speaker 2:So what happened? The entire school I had so many people people that were supposed to be my friends come up to me like, just so you know, we told on you. And I turned to them and I was like, uh-huh, okay, and if she had hit me and I went to the office, what would you have said? And they went dead quiet and I was like you would have called me a snitch and you would have thrown a whole fit. Keep saying that to me. I don't want to fight, please wait.
Speaker 2:So, maria, what actually happened? Oh, she never looked me in the face again. Um, the principal of the school, because obviously she had been like tormenting me for ages and I was like I'd never done anything like this before and I do like. I sat in his office and I started bawling my eyes out and I told him my like whole, like morning life story and the reason why I was like so on edge and what'd been doing for weeks, and her and her little band of friends, because they'd been threatening me for so long. It was basically a restraining order. They weren't allowed to come near me for the next term. They weren't allowed to come near me, that's crazy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she never looked me in the face again. Never looked me in the face again, and after that day I'm pretty sure she slowly started to become a better person. Wow, very. And I mean slowly, like I still wouldn't consider her a good person, but like she's slowly on her way.
Speaker 1:I want to tell a story now. That's not as much as that, but it's like contrast, that to show how we handled it differently, but they both ended up fixing the situation. So something that happened to me at school was there was this boy in my class and I had never spoken to him. I spoke to him once. Him, I spoke to him once. I spoke to him once because we had sport together and I said, oh good job, because he was on my team. So I was like good job on doing that. At lunchtime this girl comes up to me who I've never spoken to before, but I know she's like friends with my friends. And she comes up to me. She's like can I speak to you? And I was like yeah, sure, and she starts just screaming at me and she was like how dare you flirt?
Speaker 2:with was like how dare you flirt with my boyfriend, Can I?
Speaker 1:speak to you. Yeah, how dare you flirt with my boyfriend. Why would you ever talk to him? He's my boyfriend. Blah, blah, blah. I know that's true. I have never spoken to her boyfriend. I said good job and I was like. I said to her like I don't know what you're talking about, I've never spoken. I can't believe that. I remembered that I even said good job to him.
Speaker 2:That's how little interaction you had.
Speaker 1:That's how little interaction we had and I was like I literally said good job to him, but I kept it very calm. I was like I'm really sorry that you feel this way, but this must be a misunderstanding, because I haven't spoken to him. And then she just ended the conversation with well, like something like you better stay the fuck away. No, she was like you better stay the fuck away from him then and I was like whoa what?
Speaker 2:happened. No one wants your man. I'm surprised she wants her man. Can I say that? I can say that.
Speaker 1:Probably not. I'm probably going to get bashed tomorrow. I'll take that one out.
Speaker 2:I'll pull up with a coffee cup. I'll pull up with a coffee cup.
Speaker 1:Anyways, go the next day. I have the same class and I made sure I did not even look in this guy's direction Because I was like this is stupid, I don't want to have this thing happen again. She comes to me at break Again. Can I talk to you? Oh my God.
Speaker 2:And I was like, okay, someone needs to teach her what a conversation is, because it's not one-sided yelling.
Speaker 1:I was like hold on, Just give me a second. I had to like do my things, made sure that my friend came with me because I was like in my head I'm like I need a witness. Yeah, because whatever happens she she had bring her friend for all of these things and I was like she has a witness that will lie. I need a witness that's gonna tell the truth and I have a really good like record at school because I'm a good student so I was like I hit anyone with a coffee cup?
Speaker 1:no, and I was like I need a witness. Yeah, so she's talking to me and she's like I told you not to fucking speak to him. Why would you ever flirt with him again? You've been flirting with him, you want him. Blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, look, this has never happened. Can we please go speak to him Right and talk this out? And she's like, yeah, let's go find him.
Speaker 2:So we go to him, me dead in the eyes, and he goes yeah and that's forgotten, that part no, but that's when I was like, fuck, my life is over yeah, no, I was like my life is fucking over because he's gonna find you?
Speaker 1:no, because I was like he's just looked me straight dead in the eye and lied to me and his girlfriend and I was like my heart literally so gross like ew, disgusting. My heart literally sank because I was like I'm fucked, yeah, and I go, okay. Then what did I say to you? And he was like oh, I don't know like good job listen. He was like oh, I don't know, like good job or something. Okay, if I said that, which I did, how is that flirting? Yeah?
Speaker 1:I was saying good job, because he won a point for my team flirting.
Speaker 1:So I was like shocking. I was literally like this he just left, he just left and I turned to the girl and I was like look, if he's leaving, I'm gonna go to go as well, because this is not going anywhere and this is not true. And if he's leaving, I'm going to leave too. I go to leave. She grabs my shirt and she was like I wasn't fucking done with you, and this is where Maria probably would have smashed her over the head.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I'm not a violent person. It was like one time I would have laughed in her face and told her to get her hands off of me, but instead I just I wouldn't have hit her.
Speaker 1:I held her like hand and I put it down slowly and I was like don't touch me, you didn't need to touch me and you don't have to touch me. I'm done with this conversation and I'm leaving. And so I left and she's like I'm not fucking. And that was a fucking stupid move of me to turn around and walk out because my back was facing her. She could have jumped me.
Speaker 1:you should have like backed away I should have michael jackson like, but it was like a statement it was like a statement, but my point is after that, how I dealt with it is I went to the head of year and no, actually that's not true. I went to the deputy principal because she was a she's a baddie like she's my bestie. It doesn't sound that bad, but but during this was happening, it was like really full on.
Speaker 2:It's always worse in the moment. Yeah, it's like looking back. Like looking back, you can be like, oh, that wasn't too big a deal, but like, yeah, in the moment you're like, but how?
Speaker 1:it got sorted was we all got brought into a room. I was like fuck, this is the worst thing ever. Why are we doing the peace?
Speaker 2:and sing Ring Around the Roses. No, literally.
Speaker 1:And we sat down and we all had a conversation with my friend, who I bring as a witness, her witness and the guy. We all had a conversation about it. Yeah, because she's quite possessive over this man during this whole conversation looked down straight at the table, didn't say a word which, like again.
Speaker 2:If you're going to lie, at least do it well.
Speaker 1:Like, come on, and it came out that he lied and she was like I'm, I shouldn't have handled it that way and never really spoke to me again. Oh, she actually did, totally switched up. But the point of that was to say, like the different situations and they both worked. So my point is that every single bully you need to handle differently, yeah you handle differently. It's so hard to know. I didn't know, we didn't know how it would pan out.
Speaker 1:We have both had many situations where it hasn't worked the way we've handled it. It's so hard, genuinely so hard, and I'm so sorry if you're getting bullied and you don't know how to handle it, because it depends on the bully which is something that I hate so much, because so many like helplines and so many teachers and just schools will be like, oh like, just ignore them.
Speaker 2:Tell them they're hurting. Tell them they're hurting you, soz sorry. That is genuinely the most insane thing I've ever heard, because if someone is being mean to you, they know they're being mean to you. Okay it's, they're not like oh my god, I'm so sorry, I didn't know, like, stop it, I don't like it, you don't like it. I wasn't aware. Oh, please, forgive me, please, I'm so apologetic, I don't know, I don't know why my like bully is british, but people get like a rise out of hurting you.
Speaker 1:That's how they get their energy.
Speaker 2:They get their energy from feeding off of your energy, and something that I it doesn't even need to be your energy to be honest, because a lot of things that people say was like just ignore it happening, but like if they've got an audience, like that's all they need.
Speaker 2:No, that's literally all they need, but like they're feeding off it but like, let's say, for example, we're in, like the three of us, right, and I'm being ridiculously mean to you and you're just ignore, ignoring me, but Curtis is over here laughing. Every time I mean to you, I, I may not want a reaction out of you. I might want a reaction out of him, you know, what I mean. So it's like you literally never, know what's going on in their little warped minds.
Speaker 1:But I know you just said that, but look again, it depends on every situation. But honestly, like brushing it off for you, no, the best thing that has kind of worked for me is staying calm, because most of the time I know what you just said, but most of the time they do want a reaction out of you.
Speaker 1:So if you give them a reaction and even they'll feed off you having no reaction, but if you give them a reaction, they will just continue because they want that reaction To stop bullying. It's not going to just stop. It's not going to just stop. You have to get people involved. Whether it's like yourself, like what Maria did and smashing her on the head, or if it's what I did, like getting a higher up, I had the head of year and the deputy principal involved. Getting people involved, that is what will stop it.
Speaker 2:Well, look, I have a little bit of a different take on that part. For me at least least, getting teachers involved, getting parents involved, like that never worked yeah, it didn't work for me in primary school.
Speaker 2:It honestly really just it does depend. Yeah, because, like we said, like it's gonna be different every scenario, every situation you go through, like it's never gonna be the same. One of the things I do agree with you, though, is trying to stay calm. Yeah, because, well, obviously, like I didn't stay too calm, but like, yeah, they can get a feed out of other people's reactions, but if they are trying to get something out of you, the best reaction is no reaction, which is so hard to do it's like it's so hard to just sit there and take it like, for example, me.
Speaker 2:Personally I try that, but again, like I've said this so many times, do as I say, not as do. I find it so hard to just sit there and take it like with anyone any kind of attitude, any kind of rudeness. I will not respect people that don't respect me. And so the second, now at least anytime someone's rude to me, I will not like just kind of sit there and take it Like I'm not that type of person which I find so hard to deal with, whereas like you, for example, if someone's mean to you, you can just like you don't like it, you don't want to sit there and take it, but like, if you need to be calm, you can handle it calmly. I think so.
Speaker 1:I mean, yeah, it depends, when guys are like being little rats, I do not stay calm, but in that situation I did stay calm and it was honestly the best thing I could have done, because I, after talking to the principals, yeah, they were like, if you had escalated, that, if you had like thrown a punch, you're the one who would have been suspended, not her. And actually I really want to say something about this. I got taught, so I do like self-defense classes, and the beautiful lady who teaches me was also a lawyer and something that she told me, which is actually an amazing thing to know. If you're in a fight, let's say, at school, anywhere, and it's being filmed, whether it's a physical fight or not a physical fight, if it is being filmed, the best thing you can do is keeping your hands up. I don't know how to show without the camera, but you keep your hands kind of like above your chest and it looks like in the camera that you're trying to like de-escalate the situation.
Speaker 2:If you're like no, it's okay, but in reality you're just like waiting to swipe it.
Speaker 1:No, in reality you're waiting. If they are going to throw a punch at you, you can defend yourself because your hands are there ready. In the video it looks like you're trying to de-escalate it and you're the passive one. Is that the word?
Speaker 1:yeah you're the passive one even if you're not going to be in the video, it looks like you are and that is the best possible thing I could have been told, because video is evidence, that is literal evidence. And even if you were the passive one, but your hands are just like tensing your fists or whatever you look like you're the aggressive one, keep your hands up ready to defend yourself, but make it look like you're being like no, it's okay, like calm down. Deep breaths, yeah, deep breaths, deep breaths.
Speaker 2:One thing that I will always say, though, is, no matter what kind of bully you're dealing with which I think is genuinely it's so upsetting that people want to be cruel to other people like it doesn't. Genuinely. If you've ever, in a moment of your life, stopped and you've just been mean to another person for no reason, I think that you need to do some serious self-reflection, because I do not care what is going on in your home life, I don't care if you're really struggling, I don't care that you've never been taught different, I don't care whatever is going on with you, because that is evil. That is just evil to your core. There's not another word to say it. It's not like it's just mean, like that's cruel.
Speaker 1:Like that is, so cruel it is If you are getting bullied or you were bullied, something that I don't know if you're going to agree with this, but something that I really believe is true is that the reason you're being bullied is because inside you're confident in yourself and you're strong, and the people who are bullying you don't feel that way inside, like mentally.
Speaker 2:I think personally, just wait, sorry, you go, you go. Oh, now you've lost me.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, then you, you're confident inside and they're not even at all even if you're not like a confident person, you might know like who you are and that's inside and the people and this has been my experience with people who have bullied me because personally I don't want to sound like righteous Is that what it's called Righteous? But like I know that I am a confident person because I'm happy in myself and I can see that and it's a it's probably a bad, not a bad thing to say, but it sounds like I'm being like full of myself but I've been through some healing to get here, but I'm like confident in myself and I'm stable and I know a lot of the people who have bullied me is because either they're jealous of that or inside they're not stable and that's a really big thing to say. But a lot of the time and I've looked at other people who are bullied as well and a lot of the time that is true yeah, like it's relatable, I guess like to you and to me at the time it was relatable.
Speaker 2:Um, that kind of like oh well, I'm like confident in myself and people don't like that. That is true. A lot of the time people do not like that, which is so funny to say, because people are like no, my god, I'd be confident, queen, I love you so much, but like don't be too confident, don't think you're too bad at it, which is just. Society like this is where humans are to be like totally honest with you. I don't 100% agree, because I've known people that have just been. They're not at all confident in themselves and the bullying makes that so much worse, which I think is why a lot of people eventually like there are so many cases of suicide because of bullying um, and I that's where also we said like every case um every bully and every case is different.
Speaker 1:Where, yeah, where I just said, they target people who are confident in themselves.
Speaker 2:They also target people who are super insecure and not confident because they know that they can break them down yeah, like, even worse, which it's hard to say oh, this is what you should do, this is how, how you should react, because there's no like, there's no perfect formula. Yeah, like, you know what I mean. Again, another example of how you don't use maths in your day-to-day life.
Speaker 1:The best. I think the best thing to ever do is you need to talk to someone about it. Yes, I was going to say that Like if you don't talk to anybody about what is going on, whether it's a friend, like a counselor, anybody, yeah, like anything. If you do not tell anyone, that's what they are getting that out of you, because it is eating you up inside. Yeah, you need to tell someone.
Speaker 2:Which I think is where a lot of helplines come from. Like I personally, like I've said this already, I'm not a big believer in helpline advice or school advice. You might even disagree with our advice, because I think a lot of the times it's like tell them that they're hurting you, just walk away from the situation, de-escalate it, do you realize that you're being mean to me Like.
Speaker 2:yes, they do Like yeah, that's kind of that's what they're doing, which actually I have a story time. Sorry, I'll circle back to the helpline, but real quick, I was seeing a psychologist when I was in like year six. I was talking about how I was experiencing really severe bullying. Then the ringleader at the time was this boy in my school and he was just so mean to me and he was always making fun of me and just being really, really cruel and like. I saw him one day and she told me he probably has something going on. Ask him that, because he won't be expecting that. So she literally told she made me practice what I would say to him, which is basically just kind of like what's going on with you that you feel the need to make me feel this way, girl?
Speaker 2:And this man definitely did have something going on, because the second I said that he lost his shit. He got all up in my face and he was yelling at me and it was like so bad. And then, like at lunch, he got his little group of friends to surround me. It was a band of people all around me, like kicking me and yelling at me and like how dare you say that to him? Like who do you think you are? And then I got up and I ran to the bathroom and he had a bunch of like female friends. They chased me after, kept trying to like shake the bathroom door down. Like that made the situation so much worse and I thought it was bad before. Like that ruined my life. Like I didn't go to school for days and any school event where there were teachers constantly present. Like I didn't go to a single swimming carnival, sports carnival I barely went to my year six graduation. Like that single sentence made my life.
Speaker 1:Both of us have really bad year. Six graduations oh god, that's some story in person different font.
Speaker 2:Yeah, um, but that made my life so much worse, which is why I'm kind of like I'm really hesitant to say like yeah, like this is the best advice ever, or like health plans give you so much good advice. Because that's what a lot of the times where people tell you to say, but one way to say, like it's different formulas, like you can't say the same thing to the same people because, yeah, that might have worked for some people, like that might have caught them completely off guard and they might have been like, oh my god, oh my god, like moment of self-awareness he clearly didn't have that.
Speaker 1:That just made it so much worse when I, when I said, though, talk to someone, even if it's a counselor, I'm not saying listen to the advice, I'm saying talk, get it off your chest, get it, which is your, which is where I think helplines are really helpful.
Speaker 2:Helplines are really helpful. Yeah, it's in the name. Um, sorry, that made me really happy I recently okay, hold on, I'm getting off track. Okay, anywho's, if you don't have a close band of friends or aren't close with their families, or just don't have anyone to talk to anyone, they feel like they can talk to anyone. They feel like, yeah, trust is gonna be on your side, which I think is a big issue. Like sometimes, like yeah, you have a friend, but you tell them and they're like, oh well, it's not that bad. Or like they, just they, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or they kind of like oh like what's going on with your bully.
Speaker 2:So I think helpline's a really good, like impartial place, and one thing that we've looked into a lot is Dolly's Dream yeah, I'm like it's Dolly, something Dolly's Dream, which is a foundation kind of helpline.
Speaker 1:Dolly's Dream is an amazing foundation that started up recently not like this year, recently, but it's a new foundation and dolly's dream relatively new yes, relatively new. Dolly's dream is created by the parents of dolly, yeah, and she was a 14 year old girl who committed suicide due to bullying, and they created a whole platform, dolly's foundation, that you can go to. It's like a website and they have all different resources.
Speaker 1:They have helplines, meaning, like you can call the counselor to someone or there's literally questions that so many people want answered that they have the answers of them already on there. So you don't, if you don't feel comfortable asking someone asking about it.
Speaker 2:They have the answers on there, so you don't. If you don't feel comfortable asking someone, asking them about it.
Speaker 1:They have the answers on there. They have some advice. They also do fundraisers, they go to people's schools and they do workshops and it's just a really amazing place to support that we want to support personally, if you ever want to support it.
Speaker 2:Her color is blue, so they say to dress in blue to support dolly, which I think, as well as something so incredibly, just strong and brave that her parents are doing, yeah, to see how something affected your child and to feel that pain because, like I can't even imagine what they went through and to see what happened and think we would never want that to happen to someone else and to start a whole foundation basement, like that is so strong, it's so strong and brave, it's so honorable, it's beautiful.
Speaker 1:Sorry, I wanted to have a look on their website for you guys. If I missed anything. They have also apps, yeah, for like cyber safety, and they have stuff for parents. I don't think parents will be listening to this, but if you are, they have stuff for parents about helping the parents help the kid, yeah. Or if the parents are getting bullied in, like workplaces and stuff, they have stuff for that as well. And they have like mental health training and all these incredible places all on one website you can go to, yeah, so it's dolly's dream. It's easy to access. So they also have a place you can donate. Because they do all of these amazing things, they need all the fundraisers, they need funding. They need funding, fundraisers, funding funds they need.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they need it to make this all happen and I think it's just a really beautiful story and place we want to support. We love where it came from and the idea, and so we wanted to share it with you guys. If you want to even just look at it, tell people about it check it out.
Speaker 2:Another thing as well that I wanted to say. You know, we've been talking a lot as if you are getting bullied or if you are a bully, but I think, a big thing.
Speaker 2:sometimes you're neither. Sometimes you're just someone who knows someone or is seeing something happen, and a lot of the times what happens is people just kind of stand by and watch. Me personally, when I was getting really badly bullied, yeah, the bullying itself really hurt, but I think at the time what really broke me was when my friends were scared that the same thing would happen to them or they were like oh well, if no one really likes her, then like oh, like what if they turn on us? Or like just don't do anything. I think that was what broke me having the people that you trust and the people that you're close with and you're friends with, just kind of like turn their backs.
Speaker 2:And I'm not saying I feel, the total same way, and I'm not saying anyone that's like watching this or listening would do that, but I think it's really, really important to be aware of your part if you see anything happening.
Speaker 1:um, because that's it, it's, yeah, it's it's so hard and a terrible thing if your friend is getting bullied but you don't want to help them because you're afraid of getting bullied yourself to you, but like where's the solidarity?
Speaker 2:do you realize? What your friend is going through, even verbal support yeah is better than no one's telling you to get in the bully's face. Tell them, oh, fuck off. Like jesus, no, it's okay, calm breaths. But just like, turn to your friend and be like hey, like I'm here for you, like it's okay, like you don't deserve this, like literally that that sentence, copy and paste, literally I'm not trademarking it.
Speaker 2:Use it to your heart's desire, because like that is honestly enough. It shows your support, and that can be the difference between life and death for some people.
Speaker 1:And I'm not being dramatic when I say that it shows you're listening and they feel hurt In saying this.
Speaker 2:In saying all of this, however, I will say I have a little bit of a controversial take as someone who got bullied really, really badly. One thing I will say is that, looking back, I'm kind of like, oh okay, but like sometimes sometimes not in all cases of bullying, but sometimes I was kind of like, no, because I do see where you came from, I do, I was kind of annoying as fuck. No, it was really bad, real, and I think it's such a good character building tool. And again, as someone who got so badly bullied, I look at some people and I'm like they could use a heavy dose, they could use a healthy dose. Have never, ever thought that I was gonna say wow, maria. So kidding guys, please. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I swear.
Speaker 1:But what I was gonna say is I've been bullied in every school I went to and primary school is obviously the first school. I got really badly bullied in primary school and I just want to say this is not pro bullying to anyone. Please don't be like oh, they said this, so I'm gonna go bully someone, but I'm honestly grateful that I got character building no well, yeah, but I would not be the person.
Speaker 2:You are shut up, sorry, shut up. Sorry, it's just you're taking a while and I know what you're trying to say I'm sorry, I'll be quiet, I'll be quiet waiting to say one word.
Speaker 1:Anyways, I'm grateful that I got bullied, because I would have been such a mean person if I had not. I would have probably been like them. But now I will never, ever in my entire life, treat someone the way I was treated ever. It is a terrible, terrible way to feel. I will never, ever want to make anybody feel that way. But I'm grateful that it happened to me, because I now am a really kind person, because of it.
Speaker 2:Well, she'd like to think so, yep.
Speaker 1:I'm kidding. I love you. No, you're lovely. I think I'm a kind person.
Speaker 2:You're wonderful and gracious and beautiful and we love you. Well let's just say I'm not a bully.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which aren't we all grateful for that? But like, which aren't we all grateful for that? But like, look again controversial. I think it definitely changed. Like not saying I can't be it. Like sometimes I look at myself and I'm just kind of like me from today is totally different from me yesterday, like I change literally every day and I take no responsibility for, like yesterday, maria's actions, like she was a totally different person. But looking back I'm like huh, no, because like I do. No, do I understand why I was disliked and you felt like okay, maybe pushing her down a flight of stairs, like she'll hit her head and like wake up a new person. Like I can kind of get the thought process Like I was like annoying as fuck, like I can say that because it was me.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I think that it is for all the things I am grateful for the character building, I will say that, which is why I'm when I joke, I'm kind of like sometimes you meet someone you're like huh, not saying you should get pushed down a flight of stairs, but like maybe once every morning, someone just kind of like you ain't all that bitch, like once, like maybe for like a month. Like just like a healthy dose of like an insult once a day might just like bring you down a peg. Yeah sure, like in the most humble, like not condoning bullying in any way possible. I think it should be like an agreed upon, like rehab kind of vibe. Moving past that. Guys, please don't take me seriously, I'm not condoning it, I swear.
Speaker 1:Moving past that, something that somebody has told me recently that I never thought about that they had a say on bullying was you can either be laughed at or you can laugh with them, and I actually thought that was a really healthy.
Speaker 2:You've never heard that phrase before.
Speaker 1:No, but I thought that was a healthy take on it. Through my life If I had probably laughed with them and been like, oh, actually that's pretty funny instead of taking it on and being upset about it, probably would have had an easier life. So you can try that, you can try that and like try and have a mindset of oh yeah.
Speaker 2:LOLs Like LOLs.
Speaker 1:I am really like short, like I am really short, like whatever, like yeah, but it's fine Well it depends on the bullying to be fair. No, no, no, it depends.
Speaker 2:Yeah, of course.
Speaker 1:Like even I just mean the little things.
Speaker 2:I sometimes take on with them because I feel like, yeah, that's a good reaction if someone's just kind of like oh my god, your hair is so dry, like lols, yeah, I know I need a deep conditioning mask. But, like, if something like and this is this is out of my personal bullying book someone once turned to me and was like, oh, I don't know why you exist, they should lock you up in a psych ward before they like ship you off to death, like something along those lines, basically saying that should be locked up and then killed. Um, I feel like if I turned and was like, oh, lols, yeah, then I would have gotten locked up. So, like, take that with a grain of salt, do with that as you will.
Speaker 1:I just want to quickly tell a story that happened to me that I go. Well like 40 minutes over time go. I just want to quickly tell you a story that happened to me that I haven't told you yet, that I've been wanting to tell you oh not even backstory, but in primary school I got really badly bullied by my best friends and they all turned on me.
Speaker 1:But these were like my best best friends. We had started a jar together putting in each other's money to go overseas together when we were older, Like we had a shared money jar.
Speaker 2:We were like best best friends.
Speaker 1:No, I get what you mean, anyways so they all turned on me Happy days. They turned the whole girls in my year against me. Yay, and that's where I say I got the character building from, because that was insane.
Speaker 1:But something happened a few months ago and I never, ever in my life would have thought this would have happened anyways. So I was at this function public function and I knew one of these girls who was my best friend, who bullied me, was going. I was okay with it because I have gone past it, because it was years ago and I've done my healing with it, I've done my therapy with it, I'm past it anyway. So I saw her at it. We ended up having to be like partners for the thing and I was totally fine. And then at the end of it she comes to me and she, she turns to me and she's like hey, can I talk to you?
Speaker 2:and last time this happened that's when the girl grabbed my shirt.
Speaker 1:I was like this could go either way. Either she could say like, come to a party with me, or she could be punching me right now with the skills we just learned, because it was a self-defense class anyways.
Speaker 1:So I'm like, yeah, sure, she's like really nervous and she's like you did. I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry for how I treated you back then, because it wasn't okay, pretty much what she said. Yeah, and I said to her I was like, look, thank you, I appreciate that in my head like a hundred years too late yeah, I was like I appreciate that, but it was a long time ago and I'm sure we've both grown as people and we're very different now. Well, that's why I said I'm sure yeah, I'm sure.
Speaker 1:I don't know what's happened with her but, I was like I'm sure we both grown, um, I was like I'm sure we both grown with people as, but now it's like, ended she finally after four or five years? After four or five years she apologized. And now when I see her because we live in like a small town when I see her, I'm not going to be like, oh, that's her. I'm going to be like, oh, I can say hi, because I was past it, but she wasn't. And now I know that she's passed it and I never, ever in my life would have thought that would happen to me that after four years, the girl who bullied me so much she actually wasn't the main one, but the girl who bullied me so much, who was my best friend apologized that's so.
Speaker 2:I have three things to say. Thing number one that is so unbelievably rare and impressive that she was able to do that, have that moment of self-reflection and think I was a raging bitch and I am so sorry she held on to this for four years.
Speaker 1:That was her karma. Like I got bullied, but that's worse for her.
Speaker 2:She held on to bullying me, which I think is so much worse, having to hold into your heart the knowledge that you were that cruel to another human being well, that's her karma, guys.
Speaker 2:I guess the people who bully you actually feel bad about it thing number two is you were so gracious to like be in that space with her and like forgive her for that, because, yeah, you're like, oh, like I was already over it. Like me, personally, I'm not. I told you this like a couple of either last episode or a couple episodes back the bitch that pushed me off the swings. I'm not over that. I see her. It's clocked on site. It's a teacup to the head, no, I know. So you are quite gracious and I'm very impressed, thank you.
Speaker 1:The point that I would never be her friend and I would never go out with her. I'd never do anything with her because I do not forgive her in that way. I wouldn't do it again.
Speaker 2:I had to forgive her to move on and to have a life, so I let go of that a long time ago, but I think that when something really bad happens to you like if you're someone like me, that gives a million chances. Please, please, please. I'm trying to save you. Pack your stuff and move out. Move out of the house. Literally leave it behind, Let it burn.
Speaker 1:Lolz, do you know why the girl who apologised to me had started bullying me? Because the main girl who was my best friend said to her and this is actually like so funny I went into the bathroom and I was in a bathroom stall and they walked in, didn't know I was in there and the main girl who was actually my main best friend turns to the girl who I was talking about and goes if you stay friends with Salon, I'm not inviting you to my birthday party.
Speaker 2:That's literally quite it.
Speaker 1:How old were you guys At 12. Crazy.
Speaker 2:That's literally quite it. And then, from then on, my life was hell. To risk a friendship over a birthday party is crazy. I mean like, okay, like a sweet 16th, like an 18th like I get you, like, if it's like a what's it called, a destination birthday, Like to be aged, like I would promise to break up a friendship, like for a free trip to Paris, but like a 12, I'm kidding.
Speaker 1:Guys, I'm kidding. I value my friendship so much. Please, no I'd. If it was like to Paris, I'd probably do the same thing, but a 12-year-old's birthday party fairy bread Homegirl really wanted her party bag the Lamingtons. Anyways, that's big episode, lots of stories, very long episode.
Speaker 2:In saying all of that, we hope we've managed to help you in some way or relate to you in some way.
Speaker 1:Maybe you're just like what the fuck is wrong with these girls to have gotten?
Speaker 2:bullied like this. Yeah, girl, I don't even drop half the story times. If you like, literally DM me I'll send you like a Snapchat vlog of like all the times I've been bullied Because, like I said, 13 years up my sleeve Actually like, if you know, send us your story times about being bullied.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we can talk about that. That is next episode.
Speaker 2:We will be reading your stories out again. Please, please, please, send us everything. We love them Even. Even if we don't read them on the podcast. We promise we do read them. Some of them are quite funny. I did laugh. Some of them are quite sad and I will cry.
Speaker 1:What is your quote?
Speaker 2:Oh, I was going to ask you. You always ask me. I was trying, yeah you go first.
Speaker 1:That's tradition. My quote is slayful.
Speaker 2:You fake friend. Is that your quote? Yes, that's it. I've been saying it all the time.
Speaker 1:I've not heard you say it once, I haven't said it to you, you haven't said it to me, we have not said it to each other.
Speaker 2:I've been saying it all week I will pull up my Snapchat messages. I've been saying that to everyone and their mother I've been saying it to everyone and they've been like what I didn't even know.
Speaker 1:You could like slayful, like oh my god, I love that.
Speaker 2:Like stop our quote of the week is slayful. We hope you have a slayful day and stay overdramatic and problematic. We love you, bye.