Alexis Miranda Talks Stand-Up, Music & Embracing Your Weirdness

In Episode 2 of the NF Podcast, we sit down with the hilarious and multi-talented Alexis Miranda—comedian, music artist, and storyteller extraordinaire. Get ready for a wild ride as we talk about the arts, embracing your inner weirdo, and some of the craziest stories from Alexis’s journey. As well as some insight into Jaxon's background, the educational system, and building a career in the arts.

But it’s not all chaos—Alexis also shares how meditation and relaxation help balance the madness of life. From laugh-out-loud moments to deep insights on creativity and mindfulness, this episode has it all!

Transcript

0:54

that was me at your Tyler Perry show ha ha myself a lot of death space in this is this is what we're gonna talk about I love you always do notes like that yeah with the little check boxes yeah oh my God before we before it looks like we're we're already rolling so I wanna just do some real quick we're gonna do five just silent everyone 5 4 3, 2 haha it's getting they know each other a long time okay okay you see the video that really old video of all of the elderly in the choir taking their clothes off so I don't know what you're watching but no I would watch it for yeah I watch that give me hope no you really should look it up it's hilarious old people having fun taking their clothes off I mean they were literally stripping their clothes off singing the song are old people not allowed to have fun is no they're not funny to you they are not well I feel like you were the one that brought that up because I never said that am I putting words in your mouth gaslighting yeah yeah exactly Hayley is my female therapist and this is couples therapy nah nah she's she's like a sister to me I know but still she's a wonderful excellent comedian she's a music artist and you can see her YouTube special comedy special debut Black Alice Drama Queen on YouTube she's got some more specials lined up in the cards which is pretty dope you can see her open for Mar Marlon Wayne's classic Marlo you can see her doing just about every damn show in LA and across the globe she is a world traveler and she is my friend and give it up for Alexis Miranda I I've never met this man before today haha oh that's too bad you actually left a great opportunity for that one so haha absolutely it was low hanging fruit yeah it is for sure it is sure is sure is I don't know him either oh Dang why are you guys in my home no one knows you I don't know how did I end up here yeah I don't know I found her on the street what is this I don't know we I'm like where'd you go last night maybe you got roofie or something maybe I blacked out and woke up in a new reality so quiet the alternate timeline where Hayley is a good person and dang Hayley why you be out here what I'm saying in my reality that I got tunneled from like you were like a complete asshole yeah oh but you're so great in this one but you're so great in this one I get oh thank you yeah so we traded places cause I'm in my villain air we're not here to talk about us we're gonna talk about you who me who me yeah we are here to talk about what y'all wanna know well there's a lot there's a lot under the surface there's a lot so I first of all wanna talk about the moment I met you maybe you could give us your version of this cause I'm not quite okay I feel like you're neuro fucked I get it so I gotta I gotta take the reins cause I'm a little neuro fucked too now that I think about it um actually hanging out with you and seeing you process things I was like I do that too seriously so I don't know maybe undiagnosed something something oh you definitely have diagnosed with me a few things well cause I've never been checked out for anything but I know there's some stuff you got some stuff here sometimes you hang out with your friends and they tell it they confided you oh hey I'm I'm on the spectrum or I'm here or I'm here and then you go hmm I get along with you really well right haha right that's what does that say about me exactly exactly but it was yeah that was I mean that was all of us growing up before it like if you weren't diagnosed when you were younger growing up and you're hanging out with people and then you realize huh I did really get along with people who were on the spectrum or ADHD or anything like that so birds of a feather they they stick together cover it strikes cover it strikes birds of a feather stick together yeah okay my Billie Eilish yeah yeah we love her oh yeah like we met through a mutual friend I guess um cause you know whatever I don't spill the tea but yeah um some drama yeah um we it was your it was Jaxon's roommate and me and this dude oh yeah yeah okay so you know um me and me and this dude we met at a coffee shop and we just bonded over and he like I was with another friend at the coffee shop and we were just talking about like movies that we grew up on that meant a lot to us and his roommate was sort of like ear hustling from across the coffee shop haha and yeah that's right and uh I was just I was telling my homeboy at the time I was telling dash I was like y'all like I love movies like The Goonies Oliver Twist that that that that uh et home Alone and then his roommate jumped up and was like me too and uh he came over and we started talking and connecting and then he just kept telling me he was like you should meet my roommate you should meet my roommate and I didn't know if I I liked him all the way and so I would be like no I don't wanna meet your roommate I don't wanna meet your roommate I don't know if I wanna meet your roommate you know I like talking to you about movies no but I ended up like liking the guy let me stop but uh yeah we he just kept saying I really want you to meet my roommate and then uh I came to the the house one day and Jaxon got on his guitar and he started playing his guitar and improvising songs for like an hour straight like he didn't stop like yep and I was just so like I was I was enamored I was cause I I was like I wanna do that like I wanna freestyle like that and it's like whatever you threw him he could just sing anything about that yeah and he just kept going and it was fun and it was funny and I think we threw you like drugs yeah yeah yeah and so he went on he freestyle for about drugs for at least 36 hours right and I was like oh my god like I'm cracking up I'm like you crazy you crazy and I'm listening to him like yo this is dope and then at the end he goes yeah I've never done drugs in my life and I was like what I like you to clarify that like well to clarify everybody in this room let's break yeah break the reality for a second just let y'all know that I uh this is the it's not me haha but he was so knowledgeable about meth and and you know and did he um did he show you this you know what I'm about to say the song that he created with AI which one um there's a multiple I I made a slap that ass or something yeah look like oh yeah I oh I had the pleasure yeah I had the pleasure we'll get to that at some point in the future but yeah yeah yeah there's some I I don't condone releasing AI music on the plot it just takes away from the actual artists and the money and everything that's going around but as starting points as demos that's where I'm starting with them and I think I could get some cool like people just fill in the blanks on those so that's fun but so we had like a super cool connection over the kind of improve and just goofiness uh huh it was goofy it was silly it was just goofy and silly and I noticed right away that like you loved everything goofy and silly absolutely and you were a goofball yourself oh yeah and so there was a certain point where we went to um you were basically um we would host you sometimes at our place yeah and like I was a bum well okay every time I came in town I was this was in the pandemic and I was living in Texas so yeah every every time I came in town I would stay well not every time but yeah I stay with with Jaxon and his roommate should we tell the CVD story or no oh man we gotta tell the CVD we gotta we gotta I'm trying to give everyone a background drink I'm ready oh yeah okay okay so I'mma just let y'all know I've done drugs in my lifetime haha so put that out there Terance turned around and he looked back at us he's like we're gonna have so many good reaction shots of Terance haha if you would haha yeah you know I'm not I know I'm not out here doing crack or anything but just more so things like mushrooms I might have a good edible you know and and and boy oh boy did I have a good edible haha so one night you were on my futon right I was on your futon correct we had a couch we had a couch but our air conditioning one summer had broken and leaked water and ice into the floorboard so we had to remove our floors and that shitty apartment and so we had to remove the the cat we had to remove all the furniture so Lex came back he was like where the fuck am I gonna sleep and so yeah she's on I have this like kind of L L being style like uh huh futon so I put it out there so that's the so she's staying out there in the living room and what yeah what happened there I I took some edible and I look I'm not I'm not the edible person like I'm not the edible girl but that day I was you know it's we in lockdown it's covid outside you know I just was like fuck it you know like we don't do the edible you know I could die next week like we don't do the edible um and next thing you know and I had plans that day I had a lot of plans my calendar was full hmm and yeah uh yeah I was I was on your floor spread eagle for like nine hours straight I just was haha I just was like laid out on his floor like this legs wide open I don't know if y'all can see me but like I was trying to make snow angels and and you know I'm I'm I'm with these two dudes but that's how comfortable I felt with with Jaxon and and I don't know if I can say his name you can yeah I'mma call him deer um haha that's how I felt I felt really comfortable with Jaxon and deer yeah the fact that no one knows the name so that they can't appreciate the fact that you said deer some people will know yeah haha and they will crack up yeah so so basically I remember walking in there I woke you I was like Lexus hello like tapping on the shoulder

it's like 11: 11:50

30 are you okay are you feeling okay and you just kind of roll over I couldn't talk and I was like she's like I took some edible hahaha didn't you say you had some to be at like I had a couple things to go to I flicked on a couple people that night like yeah yeah so I remember I remember he said well here's what I took and he showed me the thing I'm like that's a lot of milligrams I forgot what I took do you remember what I took like in the hundreds of like yeah you were like it was crazy yeah yeah you were you were out like toast I was on space I was on Mars dude I was and then I remember the rest of the day you were just watching Netflix you're watching this cause I couldn't move like I couldn't move no parts like I'm like looking over your shoulder who's that huh I was like who's that it's like that's my YouTube astrologist haha and then he's like I'm like what's that I'm just watching Netflix Jaxon leave me alone haha all I can move is my fingers haha I had the phone right here I could only press the buttons on the remote all I did all night I was yeah I couldn't move no fingers that's good can I just say and I'll tell you this all the time you're probably like shut up but you know it it's it's dope when you have friends male guy friends that you can just be spreading ego in a house just just completely just all out of sorts you know that could have went left any you know anywhere else yeah no yeah it was just it was just dope to have friends like that yeah period where you feel safe yeah you feel safe yeah it's very important um I wanna talk about I know a little bit about it but for the audience and for Hayley and for everyone the um art school that you went to you you know grew up in in and around Dallas uh huh and went to a pretty phenomenal um high school and you met a lot of cool people yeah a lot of cool people I want you to like was was that a formative experience for you and how would you describe that to kids who you know might have not had the art school experience or might have not you know or like how did that form you man it saved me in a lot of ways to be real with you cause I grew up and you know my mom was a single mom and um you know I wasn't going to a private school so it was like in the public schools where we were initially they weren't that great like I went to some public schools and I got I like I got jumped like three times you know I got punched in the face by a boy he's ripped a chain off my neck it was crazy you know just just just this hood shit you know just hood shit and like you know to be real and so like when high school came around it was like I'm auditioning for the art school but I was already like into the theater so my mom she actually took me to audition at a theater for a theater company in Dallas and it was like a professional theater company so I actually started doing professional plays when I was twelve and then that's how I even knew about the art school because I didn't even know about it and then just being in this play a lot of the older kids in the play they went to the Dallas Arts Magnet and I was like okay that's where I wanna go I'm going there so it you know just set me off on a trajectory I definitely I do I I would not be the person that I that I am today without the art school experience for sure yeah no I I did all of that the arts and everything so I kind of understand that like I went to college for theater so me too yeah so me too so you kind of understand and especially like people who went to my college were already like known uh like they would say oh yes I am autistic or I am this or I am that you know so it was a very comforting environment to be a part of uh huh yeah absolutely do you feel like do you feel like um there was a culture shock in going from public school to art school like no it wasn't a culture shock what was the biggest thing it wasn't a culture shock what I loved about Booker T was at that time they had like ratios well that's what I heard I don't really know how true this is but apparently they let like 33 33 33 in so it was a pretty mixed school um and then like I I didn't have it wasn't the typical obviously high school experience we didn't have sports we have jocks we have cheerleaders you know but everybody had their clusters you had like the theater geeks the dancers were stuck up and kind of like I'm a ballerina the musicians we caught them it was just a lot of drama with the music the the singers it was always yeah right it's true everywhere right the singers had a lot of drama you know I don't know why they're divas it's the diva mentality with the singers yeah and and the dancers too like I like it it's literally you watch TV shows about these clicks and it's actually real yeah like it's not really that traumatized it's real but what I will say is we still call me go like we get around cause I was the type to get around to all the lunch tables like I knew the emo painters and visual arts you know page drawing them with your skateboard tag and stuff huh you're an extrovert I was in high school absolutely absolutely an extrovert I was an introvert and see I was the type I was the type to pull up to an introvert's desk and be like what's up hey like that was me like yeah I can totally see you doing that too literally and they would just be like all everybody would look at me like I'm like how you feeling today like I was the type to get around and talk to everybody for sure yeah that's awesome okay real quick dispel this myth if you can theater kid orgies are those real or is that a I wish man Jaxon come on don't judge me I wish we had orgies cause you know he has a story to my school huh oh sorry I cut you off but Terance has a story about that oh you got a story about an orgy I was you can chime in if you want yeah uh sure I went to um sack in Florida and usually I come out of these um I usually uh just go home cause I'm a homebody but my brain decided just stay out a little longer so I walked around for like maybe 20 minutes or so and this guy who was handing out flyers is like hi you look like you can use some friends oh no and he's like oh so so there's this little comedy thing happening down the road from here um you can make some friends again you look like you can use some and I was kind of offended for that time um so this is probably gonna be the long version it's fine um so he goes so you're gonna go and I was like sure okay and I I call I like to call this a series of um red flags and um cut to the cut to the juicy part so I get I get in my car and don't even bother asking the guy for um the exact directions cause it took me like 2 hours out of where I was this was in Orlando and the GPS says alright you're gonna get off on the road and drive on there's dirt road so it looks like something out of get out and so and so I drove for like 30 minutes and I pulled up to this um to this mansion that looked like something out of Great Gatsby and I pull up and the guy at the front's like hi did you bring your robe and I said no and he said and he was like by the way you need a masquerade mask and I was like I wasn't told about either of these things and so I walk in and before I walk in he goes oh by the way need you to strip down to your boxers and I'm like uh okay so I do that okay why are you so suggestible I I I was like go with the flow yeah I just kept going I thought carpy doom I guess but was stupid about it and so I walk in and again everyone has their robe and their mask on but because again what the body is looking like they it was all shapes and sizes it was it was very interesting and then before I walked in the guy goes oh so by the way we're out of masquerade mask but I have this mask so to make you look like Robin the boy wonder so I'm like okay um oh my God and keep in mind he's still going he's just like alright yep right I'm just saying okay constantly and so I walk in and then there's like all these like nice paintings and fancy music playing around there's like a chocolate volcano for some reason and so I'm less walking around for like maybe 15 20 minutes haha and it gets better um it gets better and so the guy who like owns the mansion I guess comes out of these big double doors and goes alright guys you can come on in walk into this dark deep desolate room can't see a thing and he presses a button the lights turn on it's really nice it looks kind of like a dojo for some reason and then he presses another button and then the ceiling opens up like something you'd see in like I don't know carry or something and then another button he really likes buttons and so like a giant disco ball like slowly descends but it's like there's a guy on the end like lowering it down on some string and then he just for some reason he just screams let's fuck and then they just rip off their clothes like if they were in in a in like a Kingdom Hearts game or something and then just starts going at it and then I'm just sitting there in the corner like scared and mildly aroused thinking to myself holy shit this is real I only heard about this in fairy tales and so everyone's going at it yeah I don't know haha Terance Terance what kind fairy not fairytales for children I worry for you I worry for your safety yeah so did you go yeah yeah I'm no I was just again like in the corner as I usually am and then there's like this old and young couple going at it there's this old couple going at it so yes they they still do that just at a slower pace when did you decide we're getting there we're getting there and then um there's this one girl yeah there's this one girl who's taking it from like 20 minutes goes by and she's like you're not gonna get into the scenarios like no not really and she goes alright cool so this isn't your scene anyway but here's my number on this piece of paper and call me sometime and I'm like yeah and then I go cool and I give her like a really slow thumbs up like out of Terminator and then I finally leave I leave the clothes I don't get any souvenirs or food or anything and then I finally get in my car and then finally I call the guy and I go why the hell is you he's like so did you make any friends and I was like I got one person's number he's like awesome and I was like yeah but why the hell didn't you tell me this is a fucking orgy and then there's like a hard pause and he goes how did you end up at an orgy this was an open mic nights at this place called um fuck I forgot the name it was like 2 miles down the road like everyone's heard about it and as I'm driving I have the sun I have the windows down because um this was during the summer and my AC wasn't working at the time and a semi truck drives by me like going 80 on a 60 cause again I'm still like in disbelief and then the paper flies out of my hand and that's it wow so this is the number so you you were he wanted to make it cinematic when he told the ending of the story wow yeah yeah it was very it was very um thriller yeah that was insane I have to stretch after that story one sec so Lex you've been doing this for a little bit yeah and I wanna tap into the feelings the vibes the first night that you can remember doing stand up the first set what was it like and like what were your early any early experiences is she yawns share the stage oh my gosh yeah I mean I started stand up cause I was talking to a friend I moved to LA to act and I did music and I was here and to be real with y'all I ain't really like the actors hustle and my friend was like yo Alexis you're funny you're a goofball he was like you got a good perspective he was like you should try stand up and I never would have thought in a million years that I ever try stand up like I grew up watching like Deaf Comedy Jam and all that but I never thought I would do it like I was like and when he said that to me I was like no he's like I'm telling you and I'm like no he's like I'm you it's going to put you in the driver seat of your career he was like it fits you just try it and so I went to my acting teacher and I was like hey such and such said I should try stand up he's like yeah you a clown okay I'm really like whoa whoa whoa right right right hey hey hey hold on right you a clown in what sense your clown ass right and um and so he was like just just write a five minute set and I and I didn't know what set was I was like what do you mean he's like like five write five minutes worth of jokes like a monologue I'm like okay and he's like and do it for class I said okay I did that class laughed but I was always the clown like the class clown in my acting you know I'm always like making everybody laugh so they left and then my acting teachers like yeah I do an annual charity show at the Comedy Store and he's like I want you to open and I was like what cause you know I never I'm like I so I open for this charity comedy so so my basically my my first show was on the main stage at the Comedy Store basically which takes right which takes people like years to get to and uh and yeah I went and I think it was like beginners luck I was very comfortable but then also we you know having a theater background it's like I'm used to being on stage well you know I mean you think you would hope having a degree would help you it was something was something you know cause I'm in this and I don't know why I'm in this you feel me now like uh for real like what am I mean I feel like we can't do anything but teach yeah really with our degree and it's like can we do that did you get your masters no I didn't get a masters okay okay but you can still teach I have I can but I I think the only thing I've used for teaching which it's not really like I exactly use my degree I just use my experience to get an acting coach job but that's only like I guess the degree kind of just helped me break into film but not necessarily like sore in it it did like I could have probably done it without the degree either way right so I don't know if it's the same for you or whatever but I was like it to do any of it I just was curious but I've never girl I've never tried to work outside of this town it's yeah except for like you know stuff like a restaurant job you know just stuff like that but yeah I've never like applied for a real job haha never I haven't it's not fun there's so much maybe well no I've seen no you you're I say that's an understatement you're a really hard worker and you've done oh yeah you've done oh no I'll work hard no no I work hard but you've done normal you've done just about any jobs to like support your art absolutely from drive and live to to waiting tables to being a hostess stuff like that yeah um yeah I work hard I roll up my sleeves yeah yeah but I you know as far as like getting the resume and applying at a studio or I don't wanna go into a office yeah that's I don't wanna do that I feel exactly the same way and like I had um I had an opportunity to work at CAA for example like I got in there I I like got an interview you don't wanna do um and like they they almost convinced me out of it they said your resume is filled with production stuff you would be writing emails to the agents and being like they'd be sending clips and you'd be organizing like reels and just administrative kind of work and they said your resume is really creative are you sure you want to do this and I looked at the guy I'm like yeah I don't think I would do actually haha I don't think I do this is like would be a great opportunity you're like I got to this point and I I was like no you're actually you're right like I don't wanna do this I'd rather suffer for another year or two and figure out my contracts and my creative work hmm than to like do this right now and that's what you did you stuck to your guns yeah it didn't feel right yeah when something doesn't feel right you know come on and it's um it's also those jobs can be very like I call them boiler room like they're very like intense and there's a lot of intense people and intense personalities people stressed out and people just stressed out not afraid to speak all you know like they got kids yeah yeah yeah no they got kids I don't wanna be an animal yeah they they care too much they don't care enough you know right so so like uh but yeah I I think we all kind of relate to that like it's a I have a boring contract type of thing now but it's still creative and like it's super nice and like you're still in your space and I'm still in my space that I created so that makes a difference yeah I want to say so do you have any oh one more thing about that first show I get off the stage it's beginners look it went very well I had a good time and it was like a sold out room and I get off stage and Chris Rock is in the wings coming up after me cause it's a charity show and he's and I'm like what like my first show basically I open for Chris Rock and I just and I'm in the wings he looked at me he was like you did good and I was like oh thank oh wow okay cool like and then I was like okay I'mma keep doing this you know i'mma keep doing it that would have like shot everyone that everyone would have died after that moment like that's such a big yeah you did good people remember those things when when when when a celebrity of certain status like is genuine towards you and says some nice is you people that really remember that stuff and they care they carry that confidence oh yeah yeah you know and I did and I did you know and I kind of looked in my peripheral to make sure he didn't like check out my ass when I kept walking and he didn't so I was like okay he meant it he meant it this is my check to see what kind of guy is is that your totally past well it's like okay do you really think I did good yeah are you saying it cause you know cause you trying to get some of the good access you know yeah are you trying to rock Chris Rock you trying to rock it all yeah exactly you know you gotta try to get me to rock your socks off you know no no but I guess also he probably didn't have time to be a creep cause he was going right on stage so it probably he didn't have time for it he has a wife does it matter does it where are we well I was gonna say like that it's interesting you say that I remember in Marlon's set actually talking about how Chris Rock would heckle him at his shows and just call him like like his set like when he was doing his sets again and I just find it so funny that you were doing your first set and he's like good good job and then he goes to Marlin he heckled Marlin and praise me yeah yeah so um that is interesting I never thought about that question so because um did did Jaxon fill you in on like the premise of this podcast or like the purpose of it or anything did I do my job correctly yes did Jaxon do his job um the whole idea of the podcast is kind of talking about neurodivergency in a neurotypical world um and it's not necessarily that you have to be like specific a specific thing you don't need a diagnosis you don't need any of that particularly but like kind of exploring it and understanding it along with us and kind of talking about that a little bit um so I was curious if at any point in time I know we touched upon a little bit where you're like oh yeah I completely understand that like when I was hang out with Jaxon everything and then he told me oh yeah I'm autistic and you're like like we get along really well things like you know did you ever think maybe maybe I'm kind of more towards that rather than the typical world absolutely yeah and I feel like I've I've um notice it I don't know if it's cause um that's just age but I do find that I am at my best when I can just slow it down uh huh you know what I'm saying and I watch him do that yeah the patience of this man it's oh sorry why did you grunt like that whenever I'm complimented on something that I you know I go hmm that was great but yes he stands a little straighter why as you should come on come on chin up yes chest out now I'm gonna do that to it's gonna become a TikTok I like that yeah it's very uh you just you sounded like a black uncle in that moment that's that's why I resonated with me he sounded like a black uh if you would have heard what I heard he said he said no he said almost like yeah that was that was cause I am I grew up I mean I grew up Jamaican so oh that's different yeah that's a whole different black Lex I am your black uncle there are different shades and nuances of black I am your black uncle so go on take off the mask take off the mask oh my God black uncle it was you the whole okay it's all you meddling kids you meddling kids uh huh yeah um yeah but taking it slow man you taught me how to slow down and and I and I really realized that's my sweet spot hanging out with you well that's good that's good cause I can like match your energy to when we're kind of in a playful like playing around the piano or like create some musical ideas we can get in that phase but I think you know from a processing standpoint the way I describe my needing to slow down is like more of a coping of um I won't say coping mechanism but in order to detach from the stimulus of the world but that's what I that's why I Learned to do it yeah because I get over stimulated and I don't even think I had the language for that until I started hanging out with Jaxon yeah no yeah so so he also helped trigger your kind of journey of understanding what you needed right yeah yeah um yeah what are the things if you don't mind me asking what are the things I do mind we both mind Jaxon be quiet it's what you get when you get a type it's talking right now you get a type it in you get a type yeah what type of eye you didn't say you didn't uh undisclosed so um a type Z um so so we got basically like um I wanna know if you were to like make a list or think about the types of stimulus cause we all reach a certain point in the day where I think most people can relate from a anxiety people that just generally have experienced anxiety what gets to them like um but what are the things that you feel like are like um environmental or emotion like emotional or whatever triggers that like start you on the like that you need to detach and do the things that help your mental state um hmm do you know what the other things you could point out I have a weird thing when I get around my significant other at times hmm it's always connected to a significant other damn and so yeah sometimes I'm like I I don't I get anxiety about just being sometimes you know you I really um what am I say I really I value people and I value everybody in my life but I really love when I can be around somebody and not have to talk all the time like we feel comfy in silence when I'm with Jaxon I don't talk very much he just talks haha yeah but you know I don't like some people so sometimes I also feel like when I get around my significant other there's this pressure to talk and to and maybe it's just not my significant other but sometimes I feel pressure to talk or to entertain and I really appreciate when I'm around people we can just be chilling and they don't feel a certain way cause I'm you know and then the the exchange just happens as it happens versus you get with somebody you're like we gotta we gotta talk about everything because so kind of what you're saying is because you said you were an extrovert so it is a lot of the times natural for you but like sometimes you just don't wanna have to do it and it's kind of like you the way to put it is especially for people who are just autistic like myself is taking off the mask dropping the mask and just being rather than having to focus on be on um a specific way of being that is I guess approved of by someone else right or counted as oh this is how you should be right in society and that's why I'm like like it's a very neurotypical thing too to be like oh you're supposed to fit this standard when you're in public like well sometimes I just why do I have to do that why can I just be here yeah that's that's the thing is like yeah for me it's like as a conversationalist around the right people like being um uh in conversations with people that are very neurotypical yeah is like speaking a language that and that and having everyone stare at you all of a sudden like what what the hell did you just say what does that mean how is that connected you know so you kind of like are it's that feeling of like um yeah it's like a horror movie at sometimes you just you just sitting there and everyone like the camera like slowly pans around and everyone's like huh as if to say we didn't expect you to say that or not only that we don't we don't understand we don't know what you're talking about you know it's so sometimes it's being conversationally yeah um out of the loop or uh for me I kind of think 10 steps ahead of the current conversation so that's one thing we kind of skipping through in your mind to fit into you if you're you're making connections that other people aren't making and so when you say the connection 10 ahead like you're saying everyone else is not 10 connections and I feel very gaslit when the conversation eventually like 15 minutes later gets to that point naturally yeah and you're like and I feel like look what I was say look what I was telling like but I think everyone so basically y'all smart we dumb no well yeah I thought about this the other day I don't have a lot of friends that are just like let's watch a football game let's look like the NFL friends like you know every group of guys like most normal normal guys has that part of their friend group that just like goes NFL Sundays you know like is basically there together on the couch cracking beers whether it's football whether it's um you know football whether it's anything that they're watching it's like gathering at sports teams that seems like the most to me it's I love I love when I can be around people enjoying something but I'm like I don't have a lot of friends that just like do normal people things I've never been to a girl brunch ever I've never been to a girl brunch I never did the mimosas I've never done it I see all of these like Instagram feed post like we're all at brunch with our mimosas and I'm like but how do you get there right how does that occur and is it fun for real I know I like how is I guess it's fun but I feel like I would just zone out halfway through definitely zone out I can see from the post that I was on out yeah and I said to myself cause I'm just not just not that girl I guess I don't know and I used to feel like there was something wrong with me but now that you say it I I honestly did too I thought I'm missing something here right yeah you're not missing out on much I've been invited to those and of course Jaxon's been invited to the one and we haven't what I know right a girl brunch no I do have like the part of my friend group that I've known for a very long time um my good friends from like preschool I know 2 of them they would appear to be to most people like normal angst that teenage stuff like had fairly like small town normal friend groups I happen to be a part of their friend group but it turns out we all known each other so long in our history together that we all had we all kept in touch cause we all had something um they just so happened to have friend groups that were more like fraternity like college you know party like lifestyle and all that and they became they were the rebels that you know getting you know arrested and smoking weed behind the you know bleachers type of people stoner kids they went on to be like scientists you know they went on to be like one of them worked for Spacex and NASA uh and like the other one is like a chemist about you know uh it works for companies and like I was the artist but what's interesting about them is when I've gone to their weddings when I've gone to their friend groups I don't want to call them out or anything this is a very vastly different friend group and I enjoyed hanging out with them but that's of those are the moments where you go to that we hanging out at the wedding table yeah and you're actually just like these people have very like they're not bad people they're not they're not bad they're not bad people I just like feel vastly like we feel vastly different from each other and they care we care about a lot I feel that a lot yeah I don't care about the things a lot of people care about I'm so sad I'm so glad you said that I truly don't like what people most people talk about I'm just like all right like I I yeah I I feel you on that that's an artist thing that is definitely like wow is that an artist thing I feel like it's an artist mindset okay yeah it's like you crave interesting that you crave things that like open your mind and your curiosity yeah I need to a lot of people are not I've turned off their curiosity I need to sit down and talk about the reason for the universe I don't wanna sit down and talk about how you were cheated on a week ago I agree with you I agree with you I am so sorry man but let's talk about something else because I can't it's just because then I'll have to mask for two hours like oh I'm so sorry I got a question do y'all hate hearing like unsolicited stories or like unsolicited my day went like this step by step like okay so I don't like hearing people complain well even if it's not like yeah so today this guy got in my car and and and oh I'm an over driver and and then he said this to me and he said he had a wife and I asked him how long have they been married you know I tune that out here's the thing with that though I'm like I wasn't there and if you don't give me a what that's actually a neurodivergent thing it's it's trauma dumping oh and just um doing it or I'm guilty of doing that I'm guilty of doing that and um I'll say too much and I've tried to train myself physically and learn sometimes Jaxon Jaxon has told me Hayley you say too much too early and I'm like yes yes I know I do um you have told me that yeah um all of my friends have said that um don't do that it annoys people I'm like yes yes okay haha I have trouble it's good to have healthy boundaries but like at the same time people when you have friends you do wanna have leave space to talk with them about their some of the stuff that's kind of getting at them right absolutely so that's the thing but when it's like gossipy and when it's like kind of like oh no not gossipy yeah that's different not like that different that's that's I think that's what you're like thinking well right gossipy petty but it could be just something that happened that day and the punch line is not that great I'm thinking I'm like yo at the end of this tunnel it better be some bright light and it's like for the rest of you know what I'm saying I can't remember comedian had I can't remember the comic but like there's a bit someone has a bit about how like certain people like tell stories like kids tell stories which is like there's no ending like kids don't have a formation on how to tell stories properly so when you're listening to like a 5 like a six year old like start to tell talk about his day you're like when's the ending what like you know you know I need beginning middle and end and they're just like and then and then and then I can take it from a kid cause they're cute kids you can handle but like I can handle it but some adults don't learn storytelling Dang and so they just end up being like and then and then and then so so there's there could be a version of that where it's just like you gotta tune it out and I think you have to tune it out definitely that's all it also has to be I think it has to do with being an empathetic person because if there you wanna leave space in your mind your heart for like the people that are telling you something that you actually care about and when you have to fit everyone's stories up there in your system you're gonna be like really stressed it's overloaded you're gonna take their stress and make it your stress so I always tell people like like if you're gonna come to me with some listen I care about you but right now I don't want your stress to become my stress period cause I can't handle it right now boundaries I care about you but like right now like I can't so and in neurodivergency especially if you're somewhere on the spectrum it's kind of hard to understands and create boundaries that's something that I know for me it's not for everybody obviously because a spectrum is a spectrum right very wide but I know for me it took me longer it took me more until I was like 26 to understand how to create boundaries for people so I think most people struggle with that not even neurodivergent people I think society struggles with that yeah boundaries I agree yeah yeah I think it's actually what to what you're saying I make an adjustment on from my perspective the um being neurodivergent you know a lot of people that are gonna listen to this and our experiences are gonna like find a thing to connect it to and that's good it doesn't mean you're near the really on the spectrum it could mean no you have anxiety right it could mean anything actually the point is that um I think the different the difference is actually we become hyper knowing I knew my diagnosis way back so I had to become an expert on you know people that learn become an expert matter on it on the subject matter and then essentially you have to then work against your wiring internally to you don't not gonna change yourself completely but you have to work 10 times as hard to then adapt into the that's why I said the new rule book right you have to like so so what that means is that because you're doing that you actually become better with people you become more empathetic I have brought this up before I have I think I've talked to you about this before Jaxon where people who are there is such a stereotype with autistic people right where when you say autistic they think of one thing oh you can't look people in the eye you're bad at social yeah yeah like I know and actually people who are autistic become are better sometimes because you're you notice the tiny little changes in someone's expression you become better at analyzing it and even if someone's not honest with you you know that there's something else going on there right right right right so that's the stereotype that bothers me well it's true well cause it's like the way I describe it is that's exactly it's a stereotype yeah but you you were born with that it's like imagine if there was a part of your function as a to survive socially as a human that you were just not born with that's what it's like you certain kids have the starting advantage of basically having this thing that asks them to analyze the kids on the playground around them that asks them to say hey is that person talking about me is that person lying is that person this is can I trust this person can I do this when you're when you're not give those those are tools in the social tool belt that are just for survival as a human that you're just given yeah um when like you're not given everything but there's essentials there's the essential pack and you learn and you probably you also learn from your parents and you learn from your environment but like on the on the spectrum you're just like I don't know what anyone saying like right now but I don't know what what the hell's going on actually but the thing is too if it's never brought up to you that that how you view the world or do things if you happen to be autistic and you don't know it no not everyone has that same experience and then later in your life you're like wait a second yeah I thought that this is how everyone did things like I thought that I thought you were supposed to pay really special close attention to your facial expression I thought that I had to use yeah 100% more of my brain power just to figure out exactly just to figure out what the hell was going on and then I would not finish the work I was supposed to do yeah I thought I'm so sorry I cut you off no go ahead but I thought that you were that I was really good at reading people and apparently haha apparently that is a part of sometimes for certain people that's a part of like that's a tell tell sign yeah it's the adaptation you I just adapt it that's what I did yeah that's good well okay we're gonna enough about us again see this is actually another thing it's a well it's kind of a back and forth of them learning and then cause I've I just Learned a lot oh good okay yeah that's the whole point I didn't even start thinking about this stuff pertaining to myself until we became friends good cause I was seriously I was a little worried that we were going overboard because it's not I'm not worried about sharing our stories I'm just worried about like actually a for me a point of interest y'all to know is if I say oh enough about us is like cause a part of being on spectrum is unabashedly oversharing and so what but you know what I've always done that in my whole life yeah my mama be like this too much no no I met your mom I met your sister they're quite amazing interesting characters the divas yes yeah the divas the divas is there a story of like um when you started feeling like you were getting the kick off you needed like you you'd assimilated into the comedy scene a little bit oh yeah and it happened like three years or two years into it I did a I did a a competition like a contest in Inglewood and it was at this like hole in the wall comedy spot but it packed out and basically the winner got a spot on this Russell Westbrook like tour show date and uh and so anyway I did it and I won and uh yeah I booked uh my first like big gig out of town pay I put up in a hotel room and then they brought me onto that squad but it was like the Russell Westbrook thing and uh I think that date was in Oklahoma but yeah man I get there and mind y'all I didn't know I don't I don't keep up with sports I don't watch sports basketball none of that if you ain't Michael Jordan I don't know who you are if you ain't LeBron James I don't know who you are like I just you know I'm not in that world like that so I didn't know who Russell Westbrook was so I get to this show and I mean I knew I had car service from the hotel so I'm like okay and then I get to the hotel is really nice and I'm like okay and then I pull up at the show and it's like red carpet and press and I'm not even I'm not looking good at all I look like a bum and so I look like a straight up bum cause I'm just thinking I'm just coming to do comedy cause I like sometimes for me to like really be out of my head and just be goofy and just be in the moment and like not care I like to kind of look bummy and I'm trying to work on that I don't like that it's like why can't I be that looking cute so well to be fair you most of the time you dress up pretty cool and you look pretty chic well like a lot like a lot of portion of the time but that's but that's there's a difference but that's me trying to like cause then you know Marlon would tell me you know at the end of the day this is still a business like you need to bring try to think about how you want to present yourself and all that but I will say no my best shows come from like sweats and hoodies and big t shirts to be real yeah my best shows comfortable you know well not my best shows but you you know so you just be vibing you know you be vibing like yes same yeah right no but you told me sweats part yeah you like I'm comfortable in life in sweats I do a better job in life in sweats I'll do photo shoots with like all my skin showing but then yeah everything else I'm in sweats but on the day you showing up huh pandemic ruined me I went back to joggers hoodies I went back to complete sweats and you know I like this outfit yeah yeah but like there's a way to do it that looks kind of nice yeah yeah but do it you do it like very like you dress it up a little bit you style oh yeah style very stylish this is my 50 shades 50 shades of gray outfit um it's actually three shades of gray but we're not counting I was gonna I count it and I was like oh he off yeah and then all your all your brain gray he off by 48 47 he off by one shade he's right by 33% I like it how you're like should I say I'm in your house right now yeah you can say it but no yeah that that was the moment for me where I was like oh shoot I got cameras in my face I got pressed like news stations and then how does it feel to be on the Russell Westbrook show tonight and I was just like yeah it's um it's it's I'm I'm having a good time and I didn't know who Russell Westbrook was I didn't know it was a big deal what do you do in your life when you are over stimulated by the world and this is stuff that can help anyone yeah but for me if you look around the space if you look around the apartment even that light is covered by a soft you know um like canvas over there everything that I have in here except for a few lights just cause of the way I have them pointing right now are fairly like um soft right and they're diffused that you know they're pointed at the walls they're around um and the reason is is because um that is actually a thing for a lot of neurodivergent people is the hyperstimulation of light sounds smells touch all that so I have the settings I turn them all red at night or I do something like that it's um what are the things in your life that you do yeah to detach I meditate I have a meditation practice um and I've studied different forms of meditation throughout my life but I meditate I like being in nature I like just like listening to nature sounds like going outside going for a walk like listening to the birds and some at night the crickets I really love those sounds and they calm me but meditation for me I just need to sit with myself and just connect what whatever that energy is what got you into meditation in the first place what was the kind of calling card that made you get into it oh man it's when they kept saying Beyonce was in the Illuminati and she worshipped the devil and I was a huge Beyonce fan haha you're like I just need to meditate right now about this well like it just sent me down this whole path of like first like I grew up in like the black Baptist church you know what I'm saying like Christian black Baptist church and you know every weekend um but my parents didn't go to church they were young parents and heathens and listen to rap music so I went with like other family members so what I loved about that was I still got the church experience which I feel like the church that I went to the church experience I had was valuable um but I'm glad I didn't have parents that were like you gotta do this and wear this and this is the way like I just got to go and it was fun you just made that choice for yourself yeah I was just like like going with my aunties and stuff cause it was fun the music was it man the music at church I told Jaxon black church music is like when they when they do it right like cause nowadays I don't know sometimes I don't know the music sound a little a little too like Poppy sometimes but I like that just that down home southern gospel music it is when are we going about it I gotta come to Texas and me your Grammy and absolutely meet meet the fam right and yep and have that experience with you cause yep you gotta Yolo you and I want you to go yeah I gotta go to the black I promise him I will take him to black church but it's it I'm so glad I grew up with that like because it also as a kid I tapped into like there's like energy when I talk about a spirit that's energy and um I would feel that in the church sometimes I would feel this energy and and they would call it catching the spirit and then so fast forward I'm in LA I don't go to church no more cause I'm in college and I don't have you know like I'm in LA like I'm not going to church no more um but that whole Beyonce conspiracy stuff started and I saw a picture of Jay Z honestly to this day I don't know if that shit was photoshopped or not but back then I believed it cause back then you didn't think about stuff being photoshopped you know yeah I just saw not me like I didn't think about it but I saw now I think AI oh God with everything you don't know yeah it's that scary but back then like I didn't think Photoshop but Jay Z had on a shirt that said do as thou wilt and the person was like that wrote an article and it was like see this is an Alister Crawley quote and he was a a Luciferian and Jay z's wearing a Luciferian's quote on his shirt and I was like oh my god cause I looked up the quote on his shirt and it was from this dude Alister Crawley and so then I started getting into the occult cause I'm like they can't worship the devil there must be something I'm missing here I just refuse to believe Beyonce was worshiping Satan so then I was like okay well what's Luciferianism and and then it's like that's worship of the devil and I'm like well how do we know Lucifer is the devil and then I thought about the Bible I thought about the church stories that I heard about Lucifer being this beautiful angel in heaven and he played music and he became jealous of God and then God was like you jealous of me you wanna beat me I'm casting you down the hill and then but when you was a real villain but dude right I'm like he was a musician but yo when I went and looked up that actual story that I grew up on it wasn't biblically based so then that sent me down this whole rabbit hole like how much have I been told my whole life that's not even back by this book or you know what else what are the lies you know what I'm saying so that just sent me on this rabbit hole of like delving into religions and then spirituality and so I my friend so then I was just open I wanted to know everything about everything um so then I had a friend like hey you wanna go chant in a in a temple and I'm like yeah I'll go chant I'm open I wanna learn and I went huh what oh sorry I'm just mumbling along oh yeah yeah and I went to this it's her stemming that's yeah yeah okay well actually kind of I know what that is kind of I uh I went to a Buddhist temple and it was a bunch of Asian people and I never seen anything like this in my life cause I'm gonna be real Dallas me growing up it was we don't have a lot of Asian people and so I I'm in this room and it's like all these Asian people and they're chanting and then y'all the energy in this building was crazy and literally that feeling that I used to feel in this black church in the south that spirit when I say the Holy Ghost is in here I felt that energy in this room of humans chanting in Mass and so that just fucked me up I was there I was there I was like huh and then I sat down next to him and I was like numb your home right here and I like joined and it was um sorry sorry my stupid computer computer stop do you mind if I actually run to the restroom real quick yeah yeah wait we can either we finish this part first okay yeah yeah I know you got it okay I can remember it I can remember it okay okay okay actually been holding it for an hour right she's like I've been holding it no no no no that's what she was doing we have no space for fragile bladders in this house you don't want her peeing in that chair in that white chair actually yeah never mind you don't want that you're right I gotta be ethical towards my cohost oh my God oh now that's a that's dope that's dope what's dope just thinking about the yeah just stuff about opening up like the to the world of the different you know I didn't know the Jay Z stuff though it's funny what if you was just like it all stem from Beyonce what if you was just like what if you just asked him and he's like I just like the shirt all the time but honestly I tried to go back cause I was telling somebody else about this and I tried to go back and find that picture and I found it and that she looks shoddy as hell yeah I said me looking back now I'm like he didn't wear that shirt I'll show it to you I'll show you that it's like Kim with a hoodie it looks so photoshopped I'm gonna look at it and be like wow y'all can actually kind of edit it into the podcast if it's gonna be that type of thing but um let me see yeah this point to the side this point to where it's gonna show up right right here oh damn yeah very photoshopped yeah right but back then I didn't know no better I was like oh he did yeah I was like oh my God Jay Z worship the devil oh God you couldn't tell me this was it I still don't I don't know and there are other ones yeah you know why why you see like the the level of white that's at the whitest part of the photo uh huh of the window that's brighter right the shirt is actually brighter than the light from the window right which tells you in the you see the shadows on his face uh huh right and underneath that would have been like despite it being a white shirt that probably would have been a little darker hmm of text because it's like you wanna see cause maybe also yeah it's it's definitely Photoshop look at the look at the other ones too the other ones too but see I went and I pulled it up years later this is like at the beginning of my journey this is like my early 20s I think I was like 20 20 years old yeah no it's definitely like yeah yeah it's the way it's the the values of the exposure on the shirt we found the the picture that I said now like that shit was Photoshop but back then back then I didn't know you know um yeah that it's interesting um it's kind of like been done to so many different artists over time it's a satanic panic oh yeah you know the satanic panic yeah no it's true they wanna catch like especially artists that seem like the bad boy types are like that are kind of like um you know the the metal the rebels the rock stars of the world and Jay Z was certified like a rock star of his genre that is like the classic thing you know the Satanic Panic was like well would you like him now if you know that he worship the devil what's crazy is I love them so much yeah that I was like you know what I'm gonna find out who Lucifer is I don't but like if I I study like I actually studied also uh uh Satanism a little bit like I got like a book of Satan and and studied Anton uh levee Anton Donson oh my God Anton I was him for Halloween one year but yeah I went in out cause I was like cause again like once this whole thing with the Buddhist temple happened I just was like okay I just made connections like I was like okay I used to fill this in a black church with all the black people yeah catching the spirit now I'm with a bunch of Asian people they're not hopping around they're standing still but they're chanting but it's the same powerful energy that literally could knock a person off their feet allowing yourself to focus on something an intense thing that's actually something that is in waking life is considered a skill of um people on the spectrum but usually it's specialized it has to do with the one thing that they can focus on for hours and hours and hours yeah and so you know it's possible that you have traits of ADHD obviously within the realm of being on the spectrum but beyond that there's usually that one thing that a person can do and focus it on for hours and I actually don't think that it's that different from the part of the brain that meditates I think hyperfixation yeah it's hyperfixation so the mantra that you're talking about in spirituality and in Buddhism and meditation actually could be a bridge in a way if you think about things that you know you can focus on for hours and hours for me it was music yeah or like finishing a video or editing a video is like it's like a flow you get into a state of flow and you're actually done with the thing faster than anyone in their right mind should be yeah people get confused at my work because there it was basically set up for me because um the whole schedule is the same as the last person who did it so I'll add to my schedule and if something new comes up I'll add that in but I don't really have to think too much about what I need to do next and I do it like fat because I hyper fixate on it because when I go to work the only way that I can do it and do the job well is if I'm able to focus in and I have my own office and I don't have all this noise around so that that's the only reason I can even use that superpower right right but if it like withdrawing and everything um drawing writing anything artistic I I don't know about you but I know I can just like five hours will pass right yeah I can do that and I'll be like wait what time is it actually I did that yesterday I mean that I like I have a life I have things to do obviously but it's my weekend Jack say hello cause I don't have her Saturday thank you no no no but yeah no the truth is yes I can relate to that um a man does need to eat at a certain point in the day but if you I didn't eat yeah that's what happened that's part of hyperfixation yeah that's what I've been there I've been there yeah and I've been there too but there is a certain point where my mind will go numb if I don't like essentially actually take care of myself too so so yeah but yeah so the thing about the meditation that I think that's a cool crossover yeah cause we're giving you that like insight of like that intense focus and if um you probably seen me like this before you've been in the studio with me and you'll be like jumping around dancing and I'll be like trying and I'll be trying to complete it I'll be adding a compressor or I'll be doing something on the computer and I'll just you'll just be like Jaxon Jaxon I'm like one thing at a time I said no yeah one thing at a time like earlier before this he was like in the zone like I I know before we film anything I'm just I just leave him alone really because he's like in this state of yeah what not that but like putting everything together right dude I've noticed I'm like this with Dion a lot hmm he like I do this every every day I'm telling him I'm telling him like I I just need to one thing yeah one thing I tell him that a lot yeah like d one thing I'm sorry I'm doing something yeah like if I'm trying to finish a text I can't hold any type of conversation with you and sometimes other people they don't especially they don't know you well enough they'll be like they will but you have you're not gonna be able to carry out the task that you're doing if you don't say something wow cause then it's gone yeah it's gone and that's actually I actually feel the same way about phone calls yeah I've been I'll have the most hand free devices I'll have my AirPods on I'll be completely hands free but when I'm in a deep conversation with someone on the phone I'll just sit down or lie down I can't get the dishes done my hand and but my mind is so entrenched in the thing that my physical body can't do the other things I just walk in circles yeah or I walk or I pace or I sit you know I move around a lot and pace so whenever someone sees me on a long phone call I I have a list of things that I made myself to do for the day that just um we'll have to wait because uh that's like I need for each individual thing and actually what's cool about that I think that's allowed me to keep friends because people feel really special people actually feel really special when you give them full attention yeah full attention here when you give people actual attention eye contact yeah you know deep eye contact haha when you do that you actually like people feel good you know you make people feel special you're actually listening to the things actively listening coming out of my mouth but yeah that's the cool part though yeah right because again all the stereotypes but honestly if you if you like like it's not a one size fits all and you've had all this time to like learn and grow you just learn and grow a little bit differently and that's all I'm the man I wanna be you know I'm making myself a no like you like you're using your superpowers to create these relationships and keep them yeah that's how I see it and that is one of the most valuable skills to be real with you yeah yeah that is that's yes Jaxon and also I think yeah thank you and that the thing about it is that you said patience earlier right it's really easy for most people lose patience and get frustrated with people yeah yeah like I get frustrated with people too but like I have to get someone has to push me over the line like to be to really cause that in me um I I'm gonna say we're from that to this you you you we talked about the stimulation and the over stimulation and like the feelings of like you getting into meditation you feeling this urge to explore that and like it really helped you it really helped ground yourself and like um know yourself actually I started living without roommates you know two years ago and I actually feel like I can like you know exist in the world better when you live with yourself when you live by yourself I agree you're only it's only you and your thoughts your existence is more manageable yeah and you know what I've actually shown up to meet with people just better and more grounded and more focused yeah and it has to do with that stimulus it has to do with you got voices people around you at all times saying this that and the other soaking in the information from people and conversations around right a lot out of you I don't wanna do it a lot of the time yeah yeah but I I only just recently kind of understood how I worked in that sense like I used to get so irritated and I would snap and I I and I was like why am I why am I doing this like why they didn't do anything but over time I realized if I allow myself like you allow myself that time away to re like re center myself whether it be like what you do meditation things like that I can show up better for other people absolutely I don't have to think so hard yes but there are other people where I have to prepare yes yeah yeah you have to mentally prepare to be around them or yeah that's true that's true well okay okay I got another question do you think it's more beneficial to be able to hyper focus or multitask you want me to start or you want to go yes I guess it depends again it depends on the person it depends on if you're on the spectrum where you are on the spectrum it depends on your upbringing it depends on everything yeah she's asking you she's asking you if you're specifically asking me yeah no um you know I don't have the best superpower to multitask because I am more I am highly more likely to make mistakes and so I kind of lean into my strengths which is hyper focusing and hyper fixating so I'm not gonna say one is better over the other but I'm going to lean towards my strengths and be like well this is great too and I needed that I needed that thank you no I needed to hear that yeah cause sometimes I feel like dang why can't you multitask like people don't understand how I can be so listen but if I don't get like that then I'm not getting nothing done for sure exactly I'm not getting anything done exactly I don't operate like that this is actually so my answer is a little goes back into my childhood we're gonna you're gonna float backwards let's take a look back at little little Jaxon here so little Jaxon was there's there's actually an episode of the Simpsons that I looked back up recently Bart is taking the standardized test he's taking the test at school to pass the 4th grade he's told by his teacher you know in the whole Springfield thing that he won't pass the 4th grade if he doesn't get this history test correct and Bart is a quintessential ADHD kid actually like they they play him up as a hyperactive you know rebel youth but this episode goes into it and he's actually he gets home and he's trying to take the test seriously and they're just not teaching him in the way he needs to be taught and he's they're being trained to the test and then he just sits in the basement his family is like listening he's just hitting himself he actually starts like hitting his like slapping his own face and getting so frustrated I'm like that was me that was me in elementary school I was hitting myself I was hating myself I felt like I was doing something wrong but because I couldn't do it right I couldn't do the thing right everyone said I couldn't do it right so when you put a kid into that school system in that box again and you and you do over and over again you you beat into them the same thing you need to train you need to learn the dates you need to learn the this and you're also distracted by everything I had super Ticks at the time Super Tourettes at the time so not only was I like I would hear someone chew a fucking Pringle in the back of the class and I would lose like my my my my body would feel threatened wow that was the level everything every noise I sat alone at the lunch table I didn't want to have to deal with anyone and there were some empathetic kids that would try to you know but friend me but I there was a certain phase where my mom was writing journals to the teacher like how did Jaxon do today well Jaxon still struggling socially there's journals written between my mom and teachers like he's still sitting alone at the table and doesn't seem to wanna talk to anyone he seems depressed like just a little depressed 10 year old like a man so so you get to that point and you're told and you're sure actually they're trying to almost show you that you can't do the thing there's a certain boy you just I feel like they're just showing me that I can't do this right they're putting me in they still do that yeah they're putting me in the remedial classes um they've isolated me from the normies from the those people so they're not only they're they're showing me I need to be separated from the main kids there's the other kids are looking like why is he getting separated like why is he getting pulled aside right there's all that social dilemma stigma so we cut we will fast forward from that right and into like work and life what do you think the people we were talking about earlier in the podcast today we're talking about bottomless mimosas I think there's a good chance that most of the bottomless mimosa people did okay in school yeah they they figured it out they figured out the system and they went with it because the the system was built for them the system was built for them and bottomless mimosas were also built for them yeah you know what you know what actually though I actually did pretty good in school I did yeah yeah and you know what you're smart and I think you're fucking smart but the thing is about it is that when it you've seen you need probably knew some of the kids too that were like I like I don't know what the fuck is going like what the hell's going on or they had behavioral issues or they acting out right I I had behavioral issues well yeah too obviously the teachers used to be like cause they used to be like the problem with the problem with that though and like what you experienced Jaxon is they're trying to force you to learn the way neurotypical people learn why people learn why and it's not gonna happen and the reason I brought and the reason and the reason no hope yeah and it's not gonna happen and the reason I brought that up and why it kind of sums up that the question that you had uh huh in my opinion is that the reason I brought that up is because we we basically that those boxes you know the standardized test method is almost the multitasking of the world is almost the we're giving you all the stuff you're gonna sort the things and you're gonna come back with the things re sorted and you're gonna present it and so you know when you build your own structure in life when you build your own stuff it's you know be entrepreneur you're an entrepreneur you're absolutely an entrepreneur period yeah and it just goes to show that just because you learn differently or do things differently does not make you any less intelligent or any less capable but yeah I think that's the key to like everybody situation yeah yeah build your thing yeah cause you may not fit into whatever the main thing is but you can still build your situation and thrive and no one's and this is the other thing no one's gonna tell you that either you have to discover that yourself no one's gonna be like you should do your own thing I mean you might hear it on the Nero fucked podcast yeah haha you might yeah hopefully and maybe like the other thing is like for people that even in your fan base in your friend group who have kids and they like are like yeah he's different you know like yeah she's different and like I don't really know what to do with them or I don't know what to do the best case scenario I think one of the reasons I ended up the way I am is my mom recognizes stuff early on and she was just like why make him why make him keep hitting himself over these equations over these things over these things that are taught to him a certain way when he has told me and expressed an interest in playing guitar and piano and songwriting why would I force him to do something where he's clearly in agony over yeah right when when there's things over here that I could at least put a little bit of attention into play to someone's strengths right always play to someone's strengths cause cause a lot of success successful people in the industry and artists a lot of them you'll go back and they had really supportive they had parents that were like no no no you can do it you can do whatever you want if you actually apply yourself apply yourself right right so we've had a real good time here we had a cozy night yeah Lexi feeling good I've seen a few yawns around I think we're like it's been a long day like my energy level I I I again I was like I think everyone's like alright it's it's it's it's it's all the I feel like I'm on Rogan right now it's it's no it's it's all the HMS I've been saying they've been putting into it it's that vibration is that frequency it's that you know it's like the home of the earth yeah okay well thank you Terance this one's for you I burped like twice did you hear that I heard I can hear your heartbeat at this point wow wow that's romantic anyway uh yeah is there anything you wanna talk about yes that you're excited about right now I'm really excited about my second installation to my Black Alice series um and I renamed it I think I had a different name when we talked about it last but it's the villain oh oh yeah it's the villain the villain I like that song and and I'm and I wanna say it's not just stand up comedy it's music too and I got some records I got a record with Jaxon oh yeah oh yeah we got a few records we got a few things going on yeah yeah I'm excited yeah I'm excited for all of that I'm excited we got some ballads we turn you into a full alternative rock balladier I cannot wait to be a rock star I can't wait yeah we're working on that we're working on that but you already are in my book you already are a rock star to me because you see me you really see me Jaxon I see you I see you I hear you I grew up on Tina Turner so you know yeah also rest in peace Quincy Jones R I P legend absolute legend yeah legend I actually got to have like a heart to heart with him too at a certain point is there anything you remember him like telling you that you talked nope no I don't remember you don't want to talk about it okay on that note Lex Alexis Miranda we're so happy to station today I think yeah very productive we talked about mental health we talked about all the things autism spectrum disorder artists weirdos yeah comedians coping mechanisms coping mechanisms uh the Illuminati accidental orgies we got it oh yeah we actually it's quite an interesting episode I will say we went on a journey we went on a journey we came back we're here in our bodies let's go let's go everyone give it up everyone give it up for us give it up for Alexis Miranda yeah can I give it up for myself yeah give it up for you're already clapping so just clap louder