The Opposite Ends Podcast
Opposite Ends is a podcast about life, love, and learning as we go. Hosted by Michael, a driven entrepreneur, and Leah, a dedicated special education teacher, this show dives into the realities of relationships, personal growth, and navigating life from two completely different backgrounds. We’re not here as experts—we’re here as two people figuring it out, just like you. Through candid conversations, humor, and real-life experiences, we explore what it means to build a strong, healthy relationship while balancing careers, personal development, and the occasional debate over who’s actually right. Join us as we navigate life from opposite ends and meet somewhere in the middle.
The Opposite Ends Podcast
Bridging Opposite Worlds
What happens when a CEO and a special education teacher fall in love? In this inaugural episode of Opposite Ends Podcast, hosts Michael McGovern and Leah Wolfe take you on a heartfelt journey through their relationship story, exploring how two people from completely different worlds built a thriving partnership.
Michael shares his path from hockey dreams to entrepreneurship, including the pivotal moment when a friend suggested starting a roofing company after his real estate venture collapsed. Meanwhile, Leah recounts her brave decision to leave Ohio for Nashville after college, experiencing both tremendous growth and challenges before returning home. Their candid discussion reveals how these formative experiences shaped them into the partners they are today.
The magic happens when they recount their first meeting at a bar, complete with Michael's "pickup artist" techniques and a memorable video message that initially made Leah cringe but ultimately won her over. They don't shy away from discussing their early relationship hurdles – Michael's immediate certainty versus Leah's cautious approach, finding balance between time together and independence, and learning to communicate effectively despite different styles.
What stands out is their practical wisdom about relationship building: scheduled date nights to maintain connection despite busy lives, creating space for individual passions, setting clear boundaries from the beginning, and the transformative power of having a partner who truly believes in you. Their boat analogy perfectly captures their commitment – no matter the storm, neither is jumping ship.
Ready to gain insights from a relationship that bridges different worlds? Subscribe to Opposite Ends Podcast and join Michael and Leah as they navigate the beautiful complexity of love between opposites.
I look at the camera.
Speaker 2:No, you look at me, Okay, yeah. So welcome to episode zero, the pre-episode, the end of the beginning episode of Opposite Ends Podcast. My name is Michael McGovern, I have here with me Miss Leah Wolfe and this is our first run at it and I think that you know we can, you can kind of share a little bit as well, but you know our goal with it is that, um, you know, I think that we're both proud about the relationship that we have. Um, you know, we've definitely have both had some toxic and not great ones, Right, and um, you know, I think we're just, we're just uh, yeah we're proud of what we have and I think that, uh, that we have a very healthy relationship, especially with that.
Speaker 2:uh, then, we do come from very different worlds and kind of settings and backgrounds and, um, but we make it work right and I think that you know our goal with this is just to, you know, obviously, share our journey and share the you know the stuff and the challenges that we have and you know I'm not saying that we have it all figured out by any means, but you know, I think that, uh, you know, I think that we could potentially help some couples and people out there as well as they go through you know their journey. So that's kind of what my perspective is on it, but you want to give me, give me your thoughts.
Speaker 1:Um, I think that also it'll help give us some accountability within our relationship, but also talk about like, because our occupations are so different.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like two ends of the spectrum, opposite ends if you will yeah. So I think talking about that and like this is my first time being in a relationship with an entrepreneur and a CEO. You know whatever, that's a completely different world to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And my job is like completely different world to you. So I think talking about that and like how we kind of merge, like I can apply the skills and things that you teach me to my job and you know the way that my brain works and what I apply day to day, helps you with 100% and I think that you know the there's a lot of you know call it manifestation, you know call it whatever, whatever that might be.
Speaker 2:But you know, I think a lot of that has played, played into our relationship as well. Right, I know that. You know, I was talking to one of my employees the other day and she was just frustrated about some things that she's experiencing and you know what she's going through and some of the relationships that she's had in her past and how, you know, she kind of gave me an overview of it and you know, it seemed like the relationships all sounded the same.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean and I kind of share with her. I'm like well you know, take it for what you will. But if I'm listening to what you're saying here, like you need to change a pattern because you continuously get the same people. Well, like you.
Speaker 1:you need to change a pattern because you continuously get the same people, and well, I think a big part of that, too, is like you are what you attract you know like if you're a pretty insecure person, subconsciously you might not be aware of that You're going to continuously attract insecure people that are are men or women or whoever that are controlling you know judging everything you do, so I think you need to recognize that within yourself before you expect any type of change.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I think you gotta, you have to become, you know, you gotta become what you're looking for, right, it's like that. You gotta become that, that future self. And you know that's what I shared with her is I was like you know, I, you know, in our relationship I'm like I know that I didn't, you know, meet you until this point in my life because I just wasn't ready for it, like I wasn't the type of like I didn't deserve you. Yet you know what I mean. Like I wasn't the type of guy that, like that's just my action, I just wasn't. I just wasn't who I am today.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean and I think that I had to make the commitment to myself to become the man that is worthy of someone you know as great as you are and you know that. But that's a struggle too, because there's a lot of lonely times in that of. You know, I hadn't been in a relationship like ours for three years, right, and it's like you know, I put a lot of things on the side and just hyper-focused on becoming a better version of myself. And yeah, I wanted a relationship throughout that and yeah, it gets lonely and stuff. But like, I think that's the power in it is that when you can learn to, you know, become fulfilled and happy by yourself, then that that person tends to show up because you know you're you're not, you know we've all been in relationships that it's like our happiness or their happiness has relied on the relationship, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 1:Okay, so should we talk about who we are?
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's hear it. Yeah, share, share your little background.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I'm from Columbus, ohio. I went to college at Bowling Green State University, got my degree in special ed and special education and then I moved to Nashville, tennessee. I went on a birthday trip for one of my girlfriend's 21st birthdays and I knew I was born and raised in Ohio. Both my parents are educators. I've always, you know, education and being a teacher is kind of just in my blood and I've known I wanted to be a teacher since I was 10 years old. But I wanted to escape Ohio. You know, both my parents wanted me to work for the districts they teach for and I was just I didn't want to do that.
Speaker 1:So I went on that trip in February to Nashville and I was like, oh, this is really fun. Came back, applied for a job like the next week, interviewed, got the job in March and then after I graduated I moved like a month later, got the job in March and then after I graduated I moved like a month later and then, um, yeah, it was a really fun time, met a lot of cool people, but it was also really difficult time, first year teaching. You know, first year, moving away, first year post grad in general is just a fucking nightmare, but um anyway. Then I moved back home to Columbus and um moved downtown with some more of my girlfriends, and then um yeah, that's when I met you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean what? What was the? Why'd you come back from Nashville? Um, I think that I just for my mental health. Yeah, um think it was. It was. I'm very glad that I did it. I'm very glad that I just kind of took the leap of faith and took a huge risk with like absolutely no planning, which is like very rare for me. I'm glad I did that. But I think, being away from my family and you know my sister was getting engaged and you know I just felt like I was missing out on that part of my life.
Speaker 1:And when I moved to Nashville too, I, I don't know, it just didn't really feel like home to me, Um, and my work environment was very toxic and it just took a huge toll on me mentally, Um, and I didn't want, I didn't know what other option I had than to be a teacher. So to me it was like it's just not worth it for me to be here, Like if, if, and I didn't want that to ruin education for me, Like I didn't want, you know, or to ruin Nashville for me, Like you know. So I just I was like, okay, I need to just kind of swallow my pride a little bit and do what's best for me and my mental yeah and bit and do what's best for me and my mental, yeah, and so I moved home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think there's. I think that, um, you know, not everybody has to get away from their hometown, but I think that it's a very powerful thing, right? Some people get away and they come back. Some people go away and never come back.
Speaker 1:Right, I, especially in your twenties, especially right after graduating college, I fully 1000% recommend moving out of your hometown, even if it's just for six months, or go on like a vacation abroad, like do something where you're seeing other parts of the world and just experiencing other things.
Speaker 1:Because, even though it was like the worst year of my life I it was I peaked in my like self-development because it took a lot of like self-reflection to be like, wow, I am not okay, you know, and like without my comfort, people there, without my support, people there, you know. So I really had to figure out like, what are ways? Or like why am I feeling this way? You know, what can I do to make myself feel better? Cause my relationships with people were sinking because I was just my brain felt shitty all the time. So my relationships then became shitty, um, you know, and I just fell out of my routine of of who I am. Yeah, so it took a lot of self-reflection and, like you know, going to therapy and doing that on my own for the first time, without my mom there, you know like little things like that.
Speaker 1:But it's true, like it really helped me a lot in gaining a lot of independence and doing things that made me very, very uncomfortable. Yeah, but that's also what I fell in love with running and, like you know, really built my passion for that and ran a half marathon, then ran a full marathon, you know. So, like, even though it was horrible, it was also the best thing that could have happened to me. That's really good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, horrible, it was also the best thing that could have happened to me. That's really good, yeah, I mean, I think that there is. You know, we, we, we try to avoid struggle, and I think struggle is such a key to the human experience, right, like you have to go through struggle, you have to be able to overcome that. You've got to go through adversity. It's like if you're a type of person that just tries to avoid all the hard things and avoid the struggle, you know you're either going to get the same Like if you can, you know, take pain now and pleasure later, or you take pleasure now and you get pain later.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, yeah, and that's. I don't mean to cut you off, but that is another thing too. Like, where I come, come from, my parents are very, very supportive and like my parachute, and they have been my whole life.
Speaker 1:I always knew, like if I fucked up, my parents got me, yeah, but I think that kind of created like a toxic pattern for me because I always waited to let them do things for me yeah or like new, you know, relied on them in that capacity, so like removing myself from the ability to do that really like was my springboard, um, but I've even realized that in my job now, where it's like, you know, I don't know, like if something's happening at work or whatever, not, you know, I'm not fully confident in what I should be doing. I wait for somebody else to make the call and it's like.
Speaker 1:But I want to feel that confidence, so like I'm really trying to practice like no, you need to take the lead, even if it's wrong, fuck it Like make it till you make it you know, but I think removing myself from that um kind of opportunity really helped.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it forces development you know, what I mean, because and I think that's can you still hear me?
Speaker 2:Okay, I thought my mic cut off for a second. You know, and I think that's one of the you know, just just it's, it's. I literally had this conversation with Reese the other day, right, he, he had spoken to a marketing guy from another company and they're they're a much bigger company. And you know, he came back and he's like hey, man, like I want to tell you about our conversation. You know, we talked about this, we talked about this and he, like goes to the list of all these things and he's so excited about you know what he learned from it. And you know, and I don't, I don't think he really liked my response to all of it. I was kind of like, oh yeah, that's cool. You know what I mean. I texted him that night and I'm like can I share with you how I perceived your thing today? He's like, yeah, please, and I said well, you shared X with me and this with me and that with me, and those are all the things that we've had a thousand conversations around. You know what I mean. Like, all of these things that you were excited to tell me about, we have talked about them a thousand times and you know them.
Speaker 2:But your thing is, is that you're. You aren't confident in yourself yet. So what happened was that you went and talked to a guy that has a title that's marketing for a you know a hundred billion dollar roofing company and when he told you those same things, it was like that was the confirmation that you needed to get behind yourself on the thing that you already knew. You know what I mean and I'm like that's what I told her. I was like, dude, I don't. You know, I love that you're seeking the knowledge and you're learning, but, like, at some point you've got to, you've got to take the risk. You know what I mean. I'm at in the business and running it because I have taken more risks than anybody else in the company. That's why I'm the guy that's running it, because I'm just I'm very risk averse. Like I will try things, I'll fail. I'm not scared of that. I'm not scared to waste money, I'm not scared to look stupid. I'm not scared to do those things. But that is. You know, I'm where I'm at because I've had to solve the problems that I've put myself into so many times. And that's such a powerful thing when you're trying to evolve and grow.
Speaker 2:And you know, especially when you you know, with, with. For him it's like all right, yeah, it's not his business, so he has to be a little more careful. But at the same time, like dude, like I, have a love for you that's unconditional. And it doesn't like my love for you Isn't dependent on if you bring it in 10 leads this week, right, it's like if I hired you because of your experience, I would never have hired you. You didn't have experience to be my media guy, you didn't have experience to be our marketing guy, but you have the ability and the willingness to learn and try, and you're just missing that factor of being willing to fail more. Yeah, and and it's so powerful that once you can do that, you don't you realize that you can control what you can control and what you can't control. As long as you're doing things with love and kindness and good intentions, it's going to work out either way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think, like just thinking about that from my perspective, like that's to me more of just like a fear of vulnerability type thing, you know and like, without which I can relate to.
Speaker 1:You know, like he is new ish to this position that he's in here and you know he obviously wants to impress everybody around them, but like it's just a fear of being vulnerable. You know he's by default already in a vulnerable spot, so like to, you know, take the rest and fuck things up. It's like a kick in the teeth. Yeah, you know your ego. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2:No, no, that's that's good, it's true. And I mean and I think that that's it I mean, no, you're, you're dead nuts on that. It's not and it's not right or wrong, it's just like that's part of I think that you know as having mentors or people around you that can recognize that and push you towards making those jumps right and trying these things and realizing that, like dude, it's okay to fail. It's okay Like I, I, I just I want to see you fail but have a plan to fail. That's more important to me, right, what's what I don't want to see is that you're just throwing shit out there with no, no intention behind it. Right, where it's like all right, if we're running a marketing campaign, I don't want you to just do a bunch of Williey-manilly shit and hope it works. No, I want to. I want to see that you've thought it out. I want to see that you've, you know, have the process built. I want to see what your idea is behind it and like there's no, nothing wrong with trying and failing when you game plan right and you have, and you and you research and you learn and you do those things. Now, when you fail, it's like all right, man, now I know where I failed and I know where I can get better at, versus just like no game plan, no caring and just going and trying, and it's like that. That, to me, is not failing. That's just wasting your time and you're not actually intentional with it, because if you're scared to fail, then you should try to get all of the data, resources and knowledge behind what you're going to get into before you try it. You know what I mean, yeah, but no, it's all really good, so I'll share a little about me.
Speaker 2:So I'm originally from Wheeling, West Virginia. You know, after high school grew up, played hockey in Boston, massachusetts, for a few years. You know, for me, I wasn't a wasn't much of a student, right, I wasn't. You know, that's where we kind of come from very different sides of the spectrum, right, your family was very you know about education and you know they're obviously involved in it themselves and, you know, kind of pushed you towards it. I don't know that. You know education was ever a conversation, you know, in our family, and we definitely didn't like study. Or you know, I made the when I spoke at the event the other night. Right, I made the joke, I was the when I spoke at the event the other night right, I made the joke I was like, no, we didn't have a, you know, report card hung on the refrigerator, and I don't know if that was just because my report cards weren't ever good, so they didn't get hung up, or they just that just wasn't. You know, something we really talked about? Um, we were, but we were.
Speaker 2:I was a very athletic family, you know, at I's dream was for me to go on and, you know, play either. You know it's funny because I say that too and I'm like we, you know, the goal was athletics and you know, I went to play juniors to be able to go to play in college. But like I never took an ACT, I never took an SAT, I never applied for a college, and so it was like I don't really know what we were kind of thinking or planning if we just thought that the pros were just going to come calling my name or something, um, um. But you know, and I and I say all that, but the, you know, the the thing is is that, yeah, that that's a probably a negative trait of that, you know, and I know that I want, you know, that's what I love about you and how smart you are and your intention and you know all those things is that you know, I know that's something that I probably lack in around that side and, like I look forward to, you know, with our children and being able to like help, have them educated and have them learning and talk, like having hard discussions at the dinner table. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like I get excited about those things, but you know, even though my dad and you know they didn't really care about those things like my dad was, you know, he, he, he was. He instilled a vision in me and I think that was more powerful than anything else because we could have been, you know, I could have been a straight A student and not had the vision and I don't know that I would have been as successful as I've become. Right Is because my dad was such a dreamer, he was such like a you know. You know I would be the getting cut from every team. It'd be like the worst guy out there and he's like man. If one person can see what I can see, man, you know, that's all you need, that's it. So it was like, even like this false reality and false sense of where I really was. He like helped me, like, believe myself into having more ability, and I think that was probably the positive delusion yeah, a hundred percent Right. And I think that was probably one of the greatest things that you know he really ever did for me was that, you know, no matter what his parenting skill sets were, the way that you know things went, you know he always believed in me and you know, and that was just that was a, you know, a powerful thing, you know. And so went on to play hockey in Boston for a few years and got hurt my last year. I was talking to a guy last night about this and he's kind of asking about my story and whatnot, and you know I said that was the the last year of my junior season.
Speaker 2:So when I was, you know, going to play juniors, like I wasn't recruited by anybody to go there, right, and my family really didn't know anything about this whole juniors thing other than us like learning it and researching it and uh, and so finally I, you know, my, my dad, knew a couple of guys and he knew a guy in Boston that you know ran, owned a team or, you know, was connected with a guy, and so you know, if you got like junior a, you've got like junior B and then obviously it goes down junior A is the best league you can be in. Well, this team that I got connected with had a junior A team, but they also had a junior B team and a junior a team, but they also had a junior b team. And a junior b team was a lot of times like the kids that were in high school that wanted to go play juniors, but it was like a development league for them and so when they would graduate then they would get into the junior a team. So I went on to the junior b team. You know I couldn't make the a team and my junior b team was pretty much a bunch of high school kids and so I was graduated, you know, and, and you know, the first year there, did you know I played um, you know, through I played there for a full year and then my second year, you know, very like no one yeah, I didn't really get any like no one paid attention to me. You know what I mean and so that was hard and because it was like man, I feel like I finally got here and then still not really. You know, maybe this is a for me kind of thing.
Speaker 2:And then the off season and the next year, like every summer, I'd come home and I'd train and get I hired a personal trainer. I was, you know, playing hockey every day and doing all these things. And and then my second year I go back and they didn't. They started me back on the junior B team again and I'm like fuck dude, you know what I mean. And now I'm laying with more high school kids and I'm like two years, yeah, and um, you know, and so midway through the season, um, I actually, you know, met somebody and they're like they had a team up in New Hampshire and so I ended up getting asked for a trade. I went quit. That team went to. This team was a better team, it was in an eight, it was in the junior a league, um, and go there, and I started out. I was like the fourth line guy, fifth line, sitting out games, out games, not playing. But like by the end of that season I had like started to get some momentum and you know, I had the growth hormone deficiency and so I was really underdeveloped, you know, through those years.
Speaker 2:And then going back into the last season. That offseason I just like trained like a madman. I cut out every distraction. I didn't like did nothing other than just like play hockey. And I came back that next year, didn't like did nothing other than just like play hockey. And I came back that next year and I was, you know, basically the, the head coach. There was like dude, you're not even the same guy like. I came back the last year and I was the first line center playing between two guys that were both d1 recruits and I'm like, dude, fuck, I made it. Finally, like all these years like me and my dad were like virtual high-fiving because it was like, dude, you fucking did it finally.
Speaker 2:And then literally two weeks in into training camp, you know, I got pinched up against the boards and got hit and got in, you know, tore my ankle and it was just like, wow, man, like it. Finally. I thought I made it. And then this fucking happens, you know, and I was like so scared to tell my dad that I played. I literally played with my ankle was like demolished. I was like I'd gotten, you know, painkillers. I'm like eating those. I'd have to like crutch into the rink with a cat like a wrapped ankle. Then I'd unwrap my ankle, put it in the skate tape, the skate up and I kept trying to play like that and you know I just got to the point where eventually I couldn't, couldn't play anymore and sat out.
Speaker 2:And then you know, sitting out, you know that like those kids are so good, like you just there's no room to sit out, especially your last year. And I had a couple schools that were looking to looking at me through the first couple weeks of the season. They didn't know I got hurt. They came to see me play, found out I was hurt. Then everyone kind of pulled back on all the you know views and stuff I was getting and then I ended up coming back and it just didn't really work out.
Speaker 2:Then I got traded to Philadelphia and lived in Philly for a couple months and then it was over for me and I went down to Huntsville, alabama, and did some stuff in the Southern Pro Hockey League for a little bit and got hurt again, tore my shoulder and it was just like I'm done. So I ended up moving back home, got into the coal mines and I was there for a while. Then I got into a gas plant operator so I was running pipelines and like a pipeline technician doing that for a little while and almost I mean I was back home for six years and then, kind of like you, with Nashville, I came up to Columbus one weekend for a, uh, ohio state game and, um, you know, I remember I was like I remember walking out that night and it was like I remember like coming out of walking out that night and it was like I remember like coming out of I think it was um.
Speaker 1:Might've been.
Speaker 2:BBR, bbr. It was downtown and, um, I come out and I'm just like the nationwide building is like glowing, like the sign on it, and I'm like man, it was just. I always remember that vision and it was just like something was like telling me almost that, like this is, this is where you're supposed to be, like this is your, this is it. And so, literally within three weeks of that day, like on the way home, I'm like job searching on Indeed and looking for jobs. And I remember like I found the job on there for AEP Energy and AEP Energy. Aep is like a electrical company, right. Aep is like a obviously an electrical company, right. But they had like a subsidiary company that was basically just like a door knocking lead gen company to sell the generation portion of your bills Bullshit company, really. And but I remember like seeing that I'm like all right, well, you know, because my ego wouldn't let me, like just be honest. I remember telling everybody that, oh, I got an offer for AEP because everybody in the gas plant, like Williams and all that, like they know what AEP is Right and so AP like is our electric and wheeling. And so that's what I'm telling everybody. I'm like, yeah, I got AEP to recruit me. Like little did they know that I was going there to be a fucking door knocker for $10 an hour, you know? And um, and so within three weeks I, you know, I ended up coming up to Columbus and interviewed with them and they're like, yeah, man, well, you know, we pretty much hire anybody. Like at this point I'm 25 years old and the average age of the employee in my, in the part of the company that I worked in, was 18. So, like it was such a fucking ego blow, you know, but for some reason I'm like it made it just, you know, made sense to me.
Speaker 2:And so, with my job, got hired on for that job, came up here and, you know, got into sales and this and that, and then, you know, eventually get into real estate and through real estate, you know, learned how to do some private money and raise money and got some investors and, you know, dumped everything that I had into this company with them. And then, probably eight months into it, nine months into it, we had like 10 properties and I was kind of facilitating getting people in it, getting them rehabbed and all that. Well, they, they couldn't, they couldn't basically refinance because they didn't show any income or own anything. They had no assets where they like they had a bunch of hotels, but the way they structured it was everything within their wives name and like all this stuff. So it was a clusterfuck and so they stopped paying me.
Speaker 2:Then they basically call me one day and they're like, hey man, you know we're, we're pulling out of this thing, you know we're not, we're not gonna do it anymore. And I'm like what the fuck, dude? Like everything I had was in that. I didn't literally didn't have a dollar saved, like everything was in it. And I was talking to Ryan one day and at the gym and he was just like you should start a roofing company. I'm like, dude, why would I start a?
Speaker 1:roofing company.
Speaker 2:Bro, I don't know anything about roofing and he's like dude, I'm telling you like learned some things with business and you've tried some things and you know that's one of those things where you know it's if you can get momentum in it you can really get it going.
Speaker 2:And he's like on top of that like you ain't got any fucking options, bro. So you need a job, you need something that's going to pay you fast, because right now you got nothing. And that was pretty much it Right. So that founded CRC and it there, and obviously we've scaled and grown that we're going into our fourth year now, um and yeah, so that's. You know, that's kind of my background, right. I do the you know into entrepreneurship and business and, um, do some like coaching, consulting, some podcasting content stuff and whatnot. But you know it's a, you know it's, it's a great, it's a great thing. Super, super grateful for it, for sure.
Speaker 1:And I think the biggest thing that got you there, or gotten you here, is one like you've never.
Speaker 1:You've never let go of that positive delusion for lack of a better term yeah you know what I mean, whether it's just front instilled from your dad and now I think you just like that is just a permanent thing in your brain. Yeah, even in just like. You know, sometimes like Mike will come home for work and he'll just be like I talked to this person and I have no fucking clue what he's talking about, but he's like and then in two years we're going to do this, we're going to do that and I'm like that will probably happen.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And, um, I remember, like over Christmas, um, we were talking about new year's resolutions and you said something about wanting to do a Ted talk or something. You know something like that, and I was talking to my dad about it. My dad was like, and he probably will like he, you know. So that's one thing that I think just attracted me to you the most was like, no matter how insane you might sound to me, sometimes I'm like that's not fucking possible. What the fuck are you talking about? Like you actually are delusional.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like it probably will happen. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like a hundred percent.
Speaker 1:You're just kind of like a figure outer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that's good, yeah, and I think that that's one of those. You know that that's one of those, um, you know hard skills that are like it's hard to develop and I think that's what really separates, you know, the business owner that is just a business owner that works a job and pretty much inside their business and doesn't scale and grow. And then the business owner that that, like, scales and builds things Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I also think too, like just based on like your childhood and like your upbringing and like who you were surrounded by, you know, like you kind of had to make the decision like do I want to? You know what patterns do I want to break? You know what I mean? Like, um, and a lot of people. The easy thing to do is just stay in that spot and stay stuck because that's easy and comforting and you know, know um and it's really easy to place the blame right.
Speaker 2:It's really easy, like I know a lot of people that you know, have um, you know, gone through a lot of similar experiences as me and, excuse me, um, got a lot of. You know the experience, you know the things that I've gone through. But so much of the conversations you have with them is like, oh well, like that's what I've dealt with, that's how I grew up, that's what I've gone through. But so much of the conversations you have with them is like, oh well, like that's what I've dealt with, that's how I grew up, that's what I've been through. And it's like I just look at it the other way of like, okay, yeah, same thing. Like I agree that, look what I've been through. But because of what I've been through, I want this other thing.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean, like I same direction as you know people around me and and I think that you know so much of that is that you know, like I'm a true visionary in a sense. Right, it's like if you look up the visionary in a business world, like who I am, is this like so visionary minded and you, you know, and I think that's such a key thing to success in business is that you know you've got to really really understand yourself. Right, you have to, because I used to, you know, um, you know just just belittle myself because I wasn't good at these things inside of business. If it was, you know, organization or you know the, you know sticking to getting something, like seeing something through you know what I mean and finishing something, and like I used to beat myself up about it. But then I have just done a lot of, you know, self-reflection and a lot of just study on our personality types and who we are, and you know realizing that, like, dude, that's just that's how you're wired and it's not good or bad, but it's understanding how you're wired and then understanding that, because you're wired that way, like it's going to be a lot harder to rewire yourself than it is to then go find the pieces for the puzzle that you need to right to become successful, like if I would have you know I couldn't it just been too.
Speaker 2:It takes too much time to focus on all the things you're not good at, versus focusing on the things that I know. What am I good at? I can build a vision. I can build a culture. I can get people excited. You know what I mean, and people need that. Like you know you. You people need to. They need to be around somebody. That's almost unrealistic, right? If you want to like tap into greatness in people you've got to you, you, they, they have.
Speaker 2:Most people have never had somebody believe in them and like build this future for them and help them. You know all the things that they actually want in life. They're like scared to talk about or they're scared to like bring it out of themselves because they've never been around somebody that's like no man. You think you could be the president. That's fucking awesome. How can I help you be the president? You know what I mean. And it's like they don't have that, and so when you have somebody that is a very visionary type person, you know in in in an organization like it's powerful Now, that visionary is still the same person that's going to keep. You know, fuck everything up and, you know, go a thousand different directions and do all those things. And so it's learning to kind of dial that in.
Speaker 2:But at the same time it's like if I wasn't such a, you know, delusional believer, we wouldn't be where we're at today, because there's things that happen happen in the business today that I was speaking about happening four years ago, that I had no fucking clue that it was actually real or that it could happen. You know, I would talk to a mentor who's in a business doing 100 million a year and he's like, oh, you're gonna do this and you're gonna do this, and then I would just take what he told me. I'll just start fucking telling everybody that's what we're going to do, but now I'm having conversations around those things actually happening. You know what I mean. And so it's just, uh, yeah yeah, it's, it's a fun thing.
Speaker 1:Let's change directions.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And let's talk about how we met.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You can tell us yeah?
Speaker 2:You always make me tell the story, um, yeah, so, uh, you know it was. I had actually, so I hadn't, you know, been in a serious relationship in a while and uh, you know, obviously work is a lot of my focus and I actually had bought a book and like a program on yeah, on, um, uh, a pick like pickup artist stuff, right, and and so I was like you, you know, as in like, how to pick up girls.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah and like you know me, like I just I'm a constant like studying something and I'm like if I learn something, I'm like I gotta fucking learn everything about it. Get down with like and build a chat gpt bot around it. You know what I mean. And so, like I would go to the golf range and I would like listen to this book every day, and I was like reading all these things about, like, how to pick up chicks. And the thing is, it's not that I couldn't pick up chicks, like I've never had a problem picking up chicks but I've also always been very like like it's, it's, it's so weird for me, cause I can stand in front of a room and talk to everybody, but like I've always kind of lacked the confidence to just like talk to a girl in a bar and I you know what I mean and it was just something that I don't know why. I don't know if I was just embarrassed or whatever it is. And so I started to like study that and I'm like, hey, man, I'm actually going to learn this Right. And so I'm like studying that.
Speaker 2:And at the same time I was, I was studying a lot of like NLP, which is like neuro linguistic programming, which is, you know, kind of restructuring your mind and you know a lot of like visualization, manifestation, belief systems and all these things.
Speaker 2:And so I had been going through those things for probably five or six weeks and um and, and so you know, we, you know, one night we're going to go out and I was already telling the guys I'm like dude, I've been learning this shit, I'm studying this You're like let's go, let's go out, you know, and we got to celebrate Nate's uh, you know promotion and I remember like we walk in and it's funny because it was like the first and my first really night out after all of this knowledge I've been gaining, and you know, just coming in full knowledge, ready to go.
Speaker 2:And I remember we go in and we're at gala and we come in, we sit at this table and I look up and like catty corner to me, like across the way, there's another table or it's a round table, but there's like a lamp that's like hanging down and all I can see is like blonde on the top of the head. And then I see yeah, yeah, and I see this black, like a black dress, but I can't see anything else and I don't know what it what it is. But I'm like who is like what is that over there? You know what I mean. And then you like popped out and walked out and I'm like wow, like that's literally the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 2:Like that that's literally what I was like. And then I'm like, and I'm just like staring at you, you know awkwardly, and I'm like, well, if I just stared long enough and she looks at me, maybe she'll think we just made, we made eye contact and uh, and and so you know, then I'm, I'm uh you know, I'm like dude, who's this girl? And then you guys make your way around to the side of us and I lean over, I start to tell Nate.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I'm like dude, do you see this chick over there? And he's like oh yeah, I know her Right, you guys had matched on Tinder or something.
Speaker 1:On Hinge. I have my side of the story, but I'll let you know you guys had matched on Hinge.
Speaker 2:And so I like, dude, you see this girl and nate basically tries to claim you in that moment and he's like, yeah, man, like we matched on hinge and you know, I know who she is, you know, like kind of like belittles me, you know, diminishes my like, oh, dude, who is this? And uh, and I almost like calls dibs on it, kind of just like, well, I know who are. You can't talk to her kind of thing and uh, so then I'm just obviously who's this girl, who's a girl? And then I see you, you're like back to my right. We're sitting up on the booth and this guy's like standing on a table, and this guy like falls down off the table and like I hadn't like seen you in a minute or whatever. And all of a sudden, like a hand touches my leg and I look over and it's you and you're like, oh man, he's done that like three times now or something. And I'm like, uh, yeah, he has, you know, you know what to say, yeah, you know. And I'm like, fuck, why did I fucking say something, you know? And I just kind of like turned away.
Speaker 2:And then so I tell myself I'm like all right, I'm gonna go stand on the end of the table and when she comes out, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna say something to her. And so I'm standing there, you're walking down and literally, as I go to say like hello or like something, you my hands like on top of the thing, and you literally grab my hand and, like ballerina yourself under my hand and just walk away and I'm like what just fucking happened, dude, it was such a tease, you know, I'm like ladies, no, but so much like, so much of this ties back to like the nlp side of it, because I'm like I literally like manifested you, like I remember I was watching this tv show called billions and it's this guy that's like a big business guy and like his wife in the movie was like a short bob kind of blonde hair lady, and I'm like I need me that, I need me one of those, you know. And and then, literally, we, it was, is it a bob? Yeah, and so literally we go there and I'm like, holy shit, like that was the thing I was looking for, that was the. You know, that's what I want you, that that's the girl. I manifested this person, you know.
Speaker 2:And then at the end of the night. You know, I keep trying to talk to you and your friends keep pulling me away every time I try to say something and then finally, like you're gone and I'm like, dude, you've, why didn't you just go talk? But you were around a lot of people up in there and there was a lot of dudes and I was like I'm not gonna just like walk up in there. And there was like a lot of dudes and I was like I'm not gonna just like walk up in there and be like hey, sure, do you like come talk to me? You know what I mean? It was just kind of intimidating and um, and and so you leave.
Speaker 2:And then I'm like man, she's gone, gone forever, kind of thing. You know, never see her again. And then all of a sudden you come running back into the bar by yourself and you stop around the end of the table and you start like talking to nate and then, like within three seconds, you like bounced up around him and sat next to me and you're like so what's your name? And I'm like michael and she's like oh, nice to meet you. I'm leah. And I was like, oh, alia.
Speaker 1:You're like no, leah and I was like oh sorry, yeah, I was like but I was a trigger.
Speaker 2:I did that on purpose. You know what I mean? That's, that's part of that's part of the um, um, pickup artist is yeah, it's that you. You say something that like almost triggers you, because you're like no, it's leah. And I'm like, oh my bad, alia. You know, it's just like a little subtle like and um, and then I'm like can I get your number? You're like, yeah, you give me your number. And then you know next, uh, that the next that night I texted you.
Speaker 2:You never said anything and I literally was like thinking about you all day and I'm like I got to say something to this girl, but she probably like hung over and she probably doesn't, like maybe she doesn't remember me. You know all these things. And so then you added me on Instagram and I'm like all right, well, she knows I exist. So what am I going to do here? I don't want to text her again. I like double text. That's weird. And so I recorded a video of me talking into the video and I'm like, hey, and I record that video probably a hundred times, and I even fucked it up too, and I can't figure out how to unfix it, but like I blurred my background out and I don't know, yeah, and I still don't know how to get it. I still don't know how to get it off of that. So now, every time I do a story, it's that stupid fucking blurred background, yeah and um, and so I sent you this video. I'm like, hey, I'm mike.
Speaker 2:You know, I don't remember me if you were, you know on one or whatnot, but you know, I'd love to take it then or sometime not much of a club guy, you know, I'm not much of a, you know, but I'd love to see you again kind of thing, and my mind behind it was that I had to, it had to be a pattern interrupt, right, because I'm like, if I just texted you and you like, you probably got other guys texting you. You know what I mean. So I'm like that I got to make myself stand out and, even if it looks stupid, like I'm going to, at least I'm going to at least make her remember me, because she's not going to forget that Maybe it's a future thing, and yeah, and so next for the. You did respond to it and we talked a little bit and then we went on a date.
Speaker 1:Yes, I will never, I will never forget. Well, so when that night that we met, when I came back into the bar because I that whole night I could just like feel you staring at me, I could feel it and I was like this guy, I'm like why I like every time I would just like glance. He was like like literally, like there's nothing behind you, like I just could I remember, just like glance. He was like like literally, like there's nothing behind you, like I just could I remember, just like feeling you stare at me. But anyways, I recognize Nate, but I didn't know how, like I forgot that, like we'd matched on him Just like you from Nashville, like how do I know.
Speaker 1:But also he was kind of like my scapegoat you know, he was my end, yeah, like when to the bar it was because I like was grabbing my friend whatever, but he was kind of my end to be like how do I know you, you know what's going on, so you're even though it was fully, fully planned so, even though I was staring at you and creepy, you still were attracted to me well, yeah, yeah, and you weren't like creepy
Speaker 1:no, you know you weren't creepy, but no, it was just funny how it worked out because, like I just remember yeah, I remember you feeling you like stare at me, but then also using Nate as my end to just pop.
Speaker 2:And then, what about the video? I thought, oh my God.
Speaker 1:And then the next morning. You're very correct. So, hungover, my roommate and I are like chowing down, talk about like in the morning, oh, so nasty.
Speaker 2:But and I remember getting this video and I didn't have your number saved, so I'm like I think you, like, didn't save my number for a long time and you told me that you don't save guys numbers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, it's like a weird commitment thing. We'll get into that later. But yeah, anyway, I get this video and I'm like what the fuck? As soon as I saw it pop off my phone. I'm like roommate Hannah, I'm like Hannah, I'm like we have to watch this together. Like what the fuck, like this guy just sent me a video. This is so bizarre, whatever played it, and it was such a sweet video. Like it was so, like you know, definitely a pattern interrupt, and but to me, like I was like this is the cringiest thing ever. Like what the fuck? Like what kind of guy does this? Like you know, so just out of the norm. But at the same time, though, like I was like wait, I was like, but he, I was like he literally just I don't know, it was just like I don't know what it was or what about it, but I was just like I think I'm gonna go on a date with this guy like he.
Speaker 1:You know, I was like it's different. You know I don't know how to explain it, but I was just like I'm gonna keep talking to him's different, you know, I don't know how to explain it, but I was just like I'm going to keep talking to him.
Speaker 2:That's good. So for guys out there, you gotta, you gotta be different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what I mean. You know, and I think the biggest thing too is like not being afraid to look stupid you know, because to me, looking at it, first glance I'm like this is the fucking weirdest thing that I've ever gotten before, but then, like I was like it's actually kind of funny.
Speaker 2:And I was like that's never happened before.
Speaker 2:That's good, and part of the uh, the pickup artist side is that there there's all these like I forget, there's like six factors, right, but one of the factors is like leader of men. One of the factors is, you know you're, um, you know kind of a blaze, your own trail kind of thing, right, and so that was kind of my thing. I'm like going out with the guys, but you know the leader of men, right, you're like the guy that has this team around them and you take care of people and you're like a provider and you're willing to look stupid, right, and it's like all of those things. Is this funny Cause? I feel like if I wouldn't have actually got like started taking, like learning some of those things that I don't know if I would have I don't know if I would I might not have went out that night and I might not have, you know, ever met you.
Speaker 2:So yeah but it's wild because we're very connected through like circles and things like yeah, you know not that you know your friends, know my friends, but like because I've been tired with the schools and you know Dublin Education Foundation and like all of these little things where I'm like I wonder if we would have like ended up meeting one day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know, I don't know, it's hard to say, but I forget what you said earlier, but it was something about like, like projecting a false vision, and that just reminded me of when we like first started dating and you were very like. I don't know if you were like projecting that false vision, positive, false vision between you and I, but, like you know, I see a future with you. Like you very and just.
Speaker 2:I was pretty direct with it. Yeah, Very direct. You're like I'm going to marry you someday.
Speaker 1:And to me I'm like I'm like, am I being love bombed? I'm like I'm terrified now, like get me out. But also like I kind of have a negative you know pattern that I've had with past relationships where I'm just like, oh, of course he's in love with me, like obviously, like of course he's starstruck, but no, that's true.
Speaker 2:But I've also like I would say that in my past relationships and maybe I just hadn't met the person that made me want to like just be direct, like that but that was like kind of one of my things I'm like, if I like the next person I decide to be with, like I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna not be me, because I feel like a lot of my relationships, like I would I wasn't me, you know what I mean. I would just like hold back from like I'm a very lovey person. I'm very, you know, affectionate and I'm very like, touchy-feely and emotional. You know what I mean like, and that was one of the things where I'm just like I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna not be that like I need to. I want the next person and I'm just gonna be blunt and real and if they want that, then great, and if they don't want that, that's fine.
Speaker 2:And I like legitimately said that to you. I'm like, hey, listen, like here's where I'm at. Like I'm not wasting my time. I think you're beautiful, I'm, I'm in love with you, like legitimately, like I want to marry you and like, if you don't want that I know that might seem time like I need to know that I'm not wasting my time. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Well, and I think with that too, like with you telling me these things, so you know what I quickly you know, it scared me at first, cause I was like, I was like I know I really like him, but I was like, but now I'm worried he's love bombs, like this energy and this effort is not going to last forever. And then, when it starts to die off, I'm going to think that he, you know, isn't doesn't have the same attraction that he did before. But also, I think, like having the awareness of that and also like I, you know, through past relationships and the intense self-reflection that I had done within the past couple years, I was like, if he's love bombing me, like I'm OK if he walks away, like he could walk away tomorrow, I'd be fine.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like obviously I wouldn't want that to happen, but like I think women need to seriously like get to the point where, like they are fine with or without anybody Because like so what if you're love bombing me? Are fine with or without anybody because like so what if you're love bombing? Me okay love, bomb me like if you know, whatever happens, happens if you leave.
Speaker 2:You leave like I I will be fine, like you know because I'm not relying on you yeah to make me feel a type of way, I think it's and it's both sides better the same way. Yeah, you know what I mean. And not maybe it's not like love bombing, but at the same time, like you've got to be confident in yourself, because women don't want a guy that's up their ass.
Speaker 2:You know they think they do. You know what I mean. It's cool at first, but like when you're with someone that's like very insecure and doesn't want you going and doing things and has to control those things, like then, if they're not a person that is stable, then they're like sucked up in this thing and they can't get out because now they're in this Right you know what I mean and that's why I think, like love, bombing can be so toxic for people that are insecure. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because, like you, love bomb someone right off the jump. They suck that in and that's all they know from you. So, like the minute that we, you know, as a relationship prolongs, obviously like the honeymoon phase is going to wear off. You know, like things aren't going to be as exciting just because you're spending more time to.
Speaker 1:You know, whatever they are going to then become more controlling and more judgmental and more insecure and more insecure because, like they're going to be thinking that you're not doing, you know you're losing attraction for them because you're not acting the same way you did when you first met you know.
Speaker 2:But I think when women first start in a relationship like that and I think it helps that you were so direct with it, but I had in the back of my mind like okay, love bombing or not, I don't care, because, like I am perfectly fine where I'm at, you know, that's powerful and and you know, and for me, like that's why I was saying, like it took me a long time to get to be that person that could be that direct and honest, and you know, and like with you, like I literally said it, I mean I got texts from that night or the next day where I like texted the guys and I'm like, I'm, I've met my wife last night and I didn't have like.
Speaker 2:I even have a conversation with you. Yet you know what I mean. Like I was just so sure that, like you know, I couldn't explain it. It was just like that is the person that I was meant to be with, you know, and I went to. You know, I went down to Florida and did like the ketamine thing and like, even through that experience, like like every day, I came out like you were the first thing I thought of.
Speaker 2:Like that I'm like, I like I hope she doesn't like get bored that I'm gone and like I'm not there every like right now and I'll get like because we met, that like we hung out the following week or whatever. And then I left the next day and I'm just like, oh man, she's going to like not want to like wait for me to get back and and like even going through the ketamine and all that. And like you were like the whole time on my mind of like I was just like this is like it was just reassuring those thoughts. I was just like this is literally like it was just reassuring those thoughts.
Speaker 1:I was just like that is my person, yeah, and I want you to talk about too, like um, cause I think at first it was hard for you because you I don't kind of were I don't know how to explain it but like was worried that I was more distant than like maybe previous girlfriends or like you weren't as sure that I felt the same way of you, yeah.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, no, no for sure, and I and I think that you know, because I've I've always been used to a certain way of a relationship where it's like you start, you hang out and they just there's really into you and it's you know, but really into you and it's you know. But I also don't want that, you know what I mean. Like it's not what I've wanted, but it's just like and that wasn't what I wanted from us. It was just like what I was used to. And so I'm like, does this girl even like me, you know, does she actually care about cause you were, you know, very like, you just do your thing. You know what I mean. We didn't like text all day, every day, you know it like, I think, probably gave me the most confidence and and us was when it was like that Saturday when I was away, you like facetimed me that morning and like that was probably like one of the most exciting things.
Speaker 2:That like I just literally did. I'm like it literally made my entire day, because I'm like, oh shit, this girl really does she like, if she's facetiming me, like she likes me. You know what I mean. It's like that was such a a key to just like assuring me that I'm like all right, you should. I think maybe she does like you're not going to FaceTime me if you don't fucking like me you know what?
Speaker 2:I mean, um, but yeah, I mean, and I so, and that was hard because, you know, going, you know, not really just because you were different, like I, I was kind of riding that, it was it. What was difficult was it, is that I was being very open and direct and like I wasn't really getting that from you and so I just didn't really know how to navigate it. You know what I mean, because if you would have been like, oh yeah, I feel like that too, then it would have made me feel different way, you know, but you weren't doing that and so I'm like, does she like me? Does it? You know, and I think that was one of the best thing.
Speaker 2:And for females out there, right, it's, it's like that's a, that's a power move. You know what I mean. Don't be so, even if you really like somebody, you know if they're the right person, like they're going to wait, they're going to. You know they're going to. You know want to be intentional and want to go out of their way to to do things. And, like you, so often, I think that you know, females are scared to put kind of that wall up because they're like, oh well, they're gonna, they're not gonna wait. You know what I mean like they're you know I can't do that, they're not gonna want me anymore where it's like no, that's like literally the best thing that you could do from a guy's perspective. Like when you're a, a woman that, like, is busy and got her own shit going on and doesn't need you and but can still be intentional and be in a relationship with you but doesn't like you know needy, like that, like a guy, like in forcing a guy to actually like play his cards and try and you know, do those things. It's like it's like one of the most powerful things that you can do, and like you were kind of talking with the, the honeymoon phase stuff and that. But you know, I would say like that's something that I think I feel like you know we're we do good at, though is like we are still pretty, like we're intentional with and I try to be right know we're we do good at, though is like we are still pretty, like we're intentional with and I try to be right Like whether we're leaving little.
Speaker 2:You know marker notes on the, you know on the bathroom mirror and stuff, and you know for birth, like birthdays or Valentine's, I'm like sending you flowers to the school. You know, and you know, with me being kind of like meeting an entrepreneur, it's a very different. Like you know, I work a lot, you know and, and so you know that's one of the things that it's that can be hard, and I've been in a lot of relationships where it's like if you're not, you know, present, if you're not there, it's like they just it doesn't work. You know what I mean. They're frustrated, they don't want you to do those things. And you know, and that's one of the things that I feel like, even though I'm busy, like I still try to make intentional time with you, right, if it's date night, if it's making a candle, if it's going to dinner, it's like no, I'm not going to be the guy that's going to be sitting at the house with you for eight hours a day. Probably never going to happen.
Speaker 2:But, I'm going to make sure that if I get to spend four hours with you, that I am going to be intentional. I'm not going to be on my phone all night, like we don't. Like I think that's one thing that we do really well is like we don't sit on our phones all night or hanging out. It's like if we're together, we're there and it's intentional and we're having, you know, good conversations and you know, I think that's one of the things that really attracted me to you so much was that you know, we, we have great conversations. Like I love our talks, like that was why I wanted to get this started, cause I'm like one, it'll be good for us to just do it for other people if they can get value from it.
Speaker 2:But on the other side, it's like us spending an intentional hour once a week and talking and working through these things, and I just think that's you know, that's such a powerful thing, because you know I'm not a guy, I'm not guy and like I can share things, I'm open, but I'm also not, at the same time, like it's hard for me cause I've just done so much alone that like I all I guess, sometimes I feel like, well, I don't want to like.
Speaker 2:You know, sometimes when shit's bad in the business or some shit like that, I'm like I don't want to like expose her to that because maybe she's going to think that I'm not you know who, not not this person, right, because you know, if she really knows what's happening and really knows that thing the business is struggle, or that these things are going on like what if she doesn't want to be with that person, you know, and so it's me just getting more and I'm also, it's like I don't even want to stress you out, cause I'm shit, I'm like, eh, I'll just not say anything, because she could be, it could stress her out and I don't want to do that either. So it's like I just don't need to talk about it.
Speaker 1:One thing I just want to piggyback off of what you said about. You know, when we were talking about, like when we first met and you know me not like fully opening up at the length that you did at first I always link back to like human behavior. You know, I my whole life is working with kids, with behavior, and you know mental health and the way that your brain works is, like my, one of my fascinations. But one of the biggest things is just like people want but they can't have right, so like subconsciously, I'm not saying go out there and play the game. Um, I, you know I'm always, I always be honest, but subconsciously it's like I think for women you cannot give give too much too soon.
Speaker 1:You can't be available too much, too soon, or a guy is just not going to work for it. You know, what I mean. Um so, um, I forget. There's something else.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean it's like staying mysterious kind of too. You know what I mean yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, and like also, like I knew right when we first met that I really liked you and wanted to like spend more time with you and, you know, get to know you. But that doesn't mean that my life stops you know, like I think another thing for girls is like you have to have at least like two hobbies that like you're passionate about you know like for me it was running. Running was huge for me. And so I came to your race, yeah.
Speaker 2:You came to my first marathon you did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was so fun, um, but you know, things like that don't stop and, like you know, setting aside time to do that you know I think is super, super important, because it also gives you something to fall back on, something that's always going to be there.
Speaker 1:Something that you, you know, put your happiness towards. That's not that person, because it's. That's one thing that I've done in the past, too, where, like you know, you rely on your significant other so much like for your fulfillment that anything that they could do that is out of the ordinary just triggers you and it just like it is so bad for you mentally yeah um, and then it's also just it's so toxic for the other person it just adds a whole nother layer of stress that just dampens the quality of your relationship.
Speaker 2:And and you, you like, you said you've got to have those things like and I think sometimes we are and you know, when we get in a relationship like, we're scared to like set that boundary of like things.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like I even said to you the other night, remember, I'm like I got, like I'm going to, I'm going to go into like a heavy study phase for a little bit.
Speaker 2:So, or like golfing, yeah, I'm like, I'm going to be golfing, right, and it's like and it's just being honest and it's. But I think that's where it's important to you know, have that intentional time because you are like a, you need time with that. You know I'm not going to sit around for you know, six hours and just hang out. You know that's that's hard for me to do, that Right, but it's like. But I also know that you are, that that you need time spent with you and you know I try to be intentional with that, right. So I know that, hey man, maybe I can't fulfill, I and you know I can't, I can't be the person that just does sit around and hangs out all day, but that doesn't mean that I can't be intentional with making sure that I fulfill your need of getting that time with me. Right, I'm getting that quality time, like I know that's something that you know it fulfills you, right, and cause I tell you all the time, like if literally all I had for me was the fact that I know that you're there for me and you support me, and you know you don't try to hold me back from doing the things that excite me, and you know my vision and all of those things and I have you at night to be there when I come home and go to sleep and be with like that.
Speaker 2:Really, that's pretty much all I really need. You know what I mean? Like words of affirmation, like all I need is someone that's supportive and there for me and I'm like but I know that, like for you, that you need more than that you know. So sometimes I have to make sure that I'm not being selfish and just make taking care of what I need, because I know I don't need as much maybe, or a different kind, and understanding that like no, you need that intentional time too, and so I have to make sure that, hey man, I gotta, I gotta, you know, going on date nights and doing little things like that but I think that also ties into um, you know, going on date nights and doing little things like that.
Speaker 1:But I think that also ties into, you know, when we first met like since you've known me, I've had very clear boundaries. I feel like you know and I feel like I have kind of, you know, slowed our pace down in our relationship compared to what you might be used to. So I think that in itself kind of set the tone of like you wanting to do those things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, for sure.
Speaker 1:Wanted to. Like you know, you wanted me to open up more, you wanted me to commit to you faster, and you know more, Um, and so I think that kind of gave you more of like an, like a desire and like an eager to want to do a hundred percent for me, because it was.
Speaker 1:I had more of like a, a boundary where I was like I want to make sure that like, uh, this really feels right for me and I want to understand how it's going to, how it's going to work. You know that I need to know the why and the how before I make any decision, but I'm like I just want to make sure that it's correct before I like shift too much of my life, because if I do, then that's risky for me and I am so content right now Like I don't want to feel like I'm risking too much you know, but at the same time it's like you know I mean with you.
Speaker 1:I don't feel any risk but you know, like in the past it's like and now, where I am now, it's like no matter how big the risk is, like, I'll still be fine you know, Um, but, but yeah, and think too, like with being with a person as busy as you and that works so much for women. I think it really. You have to be very honest with yourself. You know, like for my personality I need my alone time.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like I come home from school and I've heard Miss Wolf a thousand bajillion times and I'm running around chasing screaming kids, like I need to. I like the hour to hour and a half that I come home and you're not home, you know, because it's just not. You know obviously nothing personal, but it's just like I need that time to decompress.
Speaker 1:I need that time of quiet to take boogie for a walk and like just reset my brain before you know, because if I come home and you come home and rambling on and on about business things and I did this today and I did that today, I know that that would just piss me off because, I would just be like this is too much stimulation after what I've had.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I know that would then lead to resentment.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I would not be able to come to this type of consensus a year ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:It would have just been fights and I wouldn't have understood why. But now I think, understanding that, like actually for women, if you're going to date a man that is the CEO of a company a very successful company they're going to be working a lot. You have to have a very honest conversation with yourself and be okay with spending some time. You're not going to spend every day with this person you know for the amount of time that you might want or you have had in the past and you have to be kind of okay with that.
Speaker 1:But to me it's kind of it's kind of best of both worlds because you know, not now with my knee issues, but like it gave me a lot of time to run and like that was time that I didn't feel guilty for yeah for sure, and I think that you know a lot of or hang out with my friends.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know and I'm all, and I'm all, and I want you to do those things you know what?
Speaker 2:I mean like that's always something where I'm like, you know. But I know that myself and like past relationships that you know I would have, I would have left the office earlier. When in do like I would have not been me as much, and then I, then I create that resentment. I've done it every time where I'm like you, you know you, I always say that you know it's so important in a relationship to like set the tone or set the pace in the beginning for what you're willing to do, because once you set that bar you can't change that Right.
Speaker 2:And I had relationships where I would be, you know, running over there and coming over after work and doing like, overextending myself to where I wasn't like I just wasn't happy. You know, running over there and coming over after work and doing like, overextending myself to where I wasn't like I just wasn't happy, you know. And then I get to the point I'm like I'm not fucking doing this anymore. And then you try to pull back and they're like what's wrong? Why don't you like, like what's happening? You know what I mean. And and it creates such a problem where with us, you know you'd be like, hey, can you come down tonight? And I'm like no, I can't, you know, but before I would have been like so scared to say that because I'm like they're gonna leave me or they're gonna get. We're just gonna start a fight and then we're gonna fight for three hours and I'll end up going down there either way, right where with us.
Speaker 2:Like you were just we, you know you would, and I would like want to come down and see you, and you're like, no, not tonight, it's a school night. I can't come. You know, I don't was good because it allowed you to have that too, and so we able to, you know, set those boundaries and and be honest with ourselves. So now we're not, you know, we don't. I don't ever really feel like when I'm, you know, leaving the office. I usually want to leave the office Cause I want to come in and spend time with you. You know what I mean. It's not like fuck, I gotta go home now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, I'm really glad you brought that up too, because, like in the beginning, because I think about that sometimes too I'm like, oh, remember when you used to come to my apartment and like you used to have dinner, you know, I think about that stuff and I'm like I mean, obviously now we live together so it looks much differently. But like, yeah, I honestly think that we did, you know, a good job in the beginning. You know, when I was in, we were, you know, first met and I was in the phase of like is he love bombing me?
Speaker 1:like you, very eager to come over all the time, and I think that we both did a good job of being like, like I would say you know, no like. Why does this guy want to come over every single day like this is fucking creeping me yeah not actually, but but also like giving you assurance that like that doesn't mean I don't like you. You know I think it was a very often balance, and I think that also helped you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I think that really set the tone of like well, even before we moved in together, you know like, yeah, and I was, you know, coming down there or you would come stay with me, and it was just like very hard and taxing on me. Yeah, you know what I mean, because I, you know, I mean now I'm like in my sauna at 530. I read my books. I'm very ritual and it's like that's how I like that's the only way that I really feel like I can be at my highest performance throughout the day. Then, like we're hanging out you know what I mean I mean. Then I just get like in my own head of like dude, you're not progressing, you're not trying like you gotta be doing these, you gotta constantly. So it's like I really enjoy that side of things. And so you know I was more flexible in the beginning and I was coming down, or you were coming up and we were, you know we were doing this Like either you know I need you to move in with me or you know know that we just have to figure this out, because it's really hard and I know you got a dog, so it's hard for you to come up. You know what I mean. But it's the same time it's hard for me too, because you know I live up in Dublin, the you know the work is there. You know, if I don'tadic and I feel like I'm running, I'm running living out of a gym bag and it's like I'm just not really happy doing it the way that we are, that doesn't mean that I'm not willing to keep doing it, but I just want you to. I just want to be honest with you and say that it is like I was. I did have not resentment, but I was.
Speaker 2:It was hard for me to like navigate that and probably prior relationships I would have just kept doing the thing, even though it bothered me, and not say anything. Where you know I have, just because we are able to communicate so well, where I like I feel like I can tell you anything and it's not going to like jeopardize the relationship. But I've been in a lot of relationships where I'm like you say the wrong thing and it's like a fight and now like they might leave and they might change. Where I'm like I do feel like with us, that you know it would really take a like for us.
Speaker 2:You know we're just very clear, we communicate well and we're honest with each other and you know I don't have the fear of like an argument's gonna, you know, ruin it, like create, you know, end our relationship. Like I'm like I don't see anything ending it, unless it was like an intentional act that, like you know, wasn't. You know it's something I wouldn't want you to do to me. You know what I mean. If it was like something serious, like that's the only way that I could see that happening, I don't think, through struggles and adversity, that you're going to leave me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, and I think that that's like one of the biggest, because I remember when we had that first conversation of you being like, you know, I really want to see you more often, like I feel like we're in a long distance relationship and we live 20 minutes away, you know, but to me, like that was just kind of what I was used to. You know, I wasn't used to seeing you know, my past boyfriends every day, you know, and I kind of liked it like that.
Speaker 1:So I'm like okay, but I knew I really liked you and I also didn't like that we only saw each other once a week, you know, um. So I remember that conversation. And then that's when we first I remember we were walking bogey and I was like well, what if we did like you know scheduled a date night a week? And that's like the first time we talked about it yeah and um, you know we were talking.
Speaker 1:We're like let's just put it on our schedule, like we designate a time. Yeah, you know, because I knew that you wanted me to move in with you. But I was like ain ain't, no fucking way like that.
Speaker 2:I'm like.
Speaker 1:I'm being, you know, my, my brain, like the pessimist in my brain, is like he's going to trap you. He's still love bombing you bitch, like you better run. So I'm like let's just start there.
Speaker 2:But it's funny too, because I had literally had a past relationship that you know kind of flipped the script side of what, like I we weren't um, you know they wanted to spend more time with me and and you know it was just hard right, and I was like, hey, listen, why don't we just set a night a week, like let's take a day and a time, and like I can put it in the calendar and then like now I can go, because it's like you wanting me to go to dinner when it's six o'clock and you want to go at seven and you're just telling me on a random night, like it really fucks my shit up, like it's really hard for me, you know, and and they were literally like that's fucking ridiculous, I'm not gonna be.
Speaker 2:You know, uh, fucking a time in your calendar and that, like all these things, and it like basically almost ruined the pretty much ruined relationship. You know what I mean and it was like so when you said that to me, I'm just like holy shit, like this, that person does exist. You know what I mean. Like she actually understands that. It's not that I'm trying to make you, you know, be in my schedule. It's just like I know that I want to see you more and I know that you're busy and I'm busy and it's like the fact that you were willing to do that was such a like a sigh of relief for me, because it was literally what I wanted.
Speaker 1:And that's the thing, cause I remember you like us having multiple conversations about how we wanted to see each other more and I just kind of was a little bit fearful because I knew that you know.
Speaker 2:Well, you're like a love harder.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. So, like when you fought, like yeah, you know, I mean love heart. So it was like I can see where the resistance is, because you're like, if I commit, and you know I really commit, you know what I mean. Yeah, and you know I really commit. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I just, you know there's always a fear of like somebody jeopardizing that, but, um, I also, though, like wanted to. I always have wanted and, uh, you know, really focused on and be intentional with honoring what you tell me because I want to honor the honesty.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. Like you telling me you know I really want to see you more. Like you know, of course, in my brain I mean, like you telling me you know I really want to see you more. Like you know, of course, in my brain I'm like I know he wants me to move in, blah, blah, blah. But like that's not what you're saying.
Speaker 1:You're just saying you want to see me more and so, like I've always tried to really like validate your honesty yeah you know, because I think that that then helps your confidence you know, like what you've always said since you were younger you know, like just how you've grown up. Like you know, there's been a lot of feeling of vulnerability and feeling of, like lack of confidence, and so, since we've been together, that is something that I've really tried to hone in on. It's like when you're honest with me, like I really want you to feel that I hear you and like I'm listening to what you're saying and like we'll put action towards that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So that there's no resistance for you to be honest with me in the future. You know as we progress.
Speaker 2:No, that's good, that's really good. And you know, I'll say one more thing We've, we aren't. We've been in like over an hour now so that's good. It was really. I think it was a good you know, first episode.
Speaker 2:But you know one other thing. You know, I think that you know my success, or you know business or life, whatever it is, has been, you know, so much more fulfilled with you in it, because you, you do support me and, like you, give me confidence, and I think I had never really had that from somebody. But, you know, because I hadn't had that, then I would allow myself to, you know, be distracted, or is the grass greener?
Speaker 1:and what else? You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:We're like the cheap confidence. You're right, you know what I mean A hundred percent. Yeah, that's really, that's a really good, that's a really good analogy. Yeah, and because it's like I don't feel like it, you know, need affirmations from anybody else, because you know I get that from you and so it's. You've just allowed me to be so much more. You know clear and and you know not, uh, not like just wonder if, if this is what you know what I mean, like, and that's been such a powerful thing for me and so for guys, listen to that.
Speaker 2:Like you know, you also have to to honor that and honor the person you're with. You know what I mean. It's not just doesn't just happen, they're not just going to make you know what I mean. Like you, as a man, you've got to commit to that and whatnot. But it's you know in my ability and and vision for things that you know I just I don't have the um there. There's no like seeking affirmations from other females or other people um capacity being taken up for me, like it's like you know, I I feel so great with what we have and it's just like, oh cool, yeah, this is what I want, is all I want forever. I don't nothing else. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like now my thing is like I want to work hard and do more so that I can, you know, give us more and give our kids one day more in our family.
Speaker 2:Like you know everything now where I used to, my vision was very like taking care of me or taking care of my family or brother, and those things where now it's like I now have a vision of, like a future with you.
Speaker 2:That is like pulls me towards wanting to be a better man and wanting to be a good father someday and be a better leader, and it's like I think that was such a. You know, I knew that where I was at that the next level of evolution for me as an individual or as a leader was like finding a spouse that you know was that solid rock right. Like they always say, behind every good man is a, is a strong woman. And like I knew that's what I needed, because you know and I even saw a podcast or something the other day that they're like you know you're the relationship that you end up in, that you're most fulfilled in. That person provides you with things that you've, that you had. You know what I mean and like, when I look back, like I had a very rocky relationship with you know, my mother and like I just never felt that I ever had somebody really there.
Speaker 2:Like I was almost kind of like a woman hater, really, you know what I mean. Like I just didn't. You know, I, I, I was, you lacked trust, I did. You know what I mean. I like I I never really needed a woman for anything in my life, like ever. You know, it was like cause they weren't there and you know. And now my mom and I have a great relationship and repaired all that.
Speaker 2:But you know, in the past, like it just I didn't need a woman. Like it just for me, I was, um, it was, you know, uh, not like a he man woman hater. You know what I mean. Yeah, you know what I mean. It was this like uh, I just didn't I, yeah, I did resent, uh, resented women, so they weren't.
Speaker 2:You know it was never something like I'd got that security from them or really felt that. You know they were like impactful in my life. It was just you know what it was and and I think that every relationship I had before you I've treated them like that, you know, and you know, with you, though, it was like now, finally, I felt like I like had that thing I'd never had and it just gave me such a sense of, like, security and fulfillment and, just, you know, something I had never really experienced before and I think that's what allowed me, has allowed me to, you know, feel like I've been able to be a better leader and I've grown like I know that myself has grown over the past you know, almost year that we've been together. That it's, you know, I'm just a different individual.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, and I always think about too, is the like, the um, the boat analogy. Like, because with that it ties into what you said, like, and I think for me same thing, like you know, no matter what argument that we have or fight or whatever, like I know that, like neither one of us is going to jump out of the boat.
Speaker 1:We might want to we might dip a little toe in there. You know what I mean. Of course there's going to be times like that, but like I think the biggest thing is like, no matter what, like I know that I'm going to be in the boat, and so are you. And like we're just going to keep on rowing and I think that, um, you know, you have a lot of like abandonment, you know for sure like fear of abandonment, and so that feeling for you is what fulfills you too it's like you know, you knowing that, like I'm not going to leave the boat, unless something totally catastrophic happens you know, um, I can't swim very well, so I'll probably have to stay in there till I get somewhere.
Speaker 1:But, um, I think you know, just you knowing that from like the way that I make you feel in, the way that you make me feel like I don't question anything you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like you give me a different type of validation that like isn't even external, I don't know how to explain it, but, um, yeah, I just that's the biggest thing for me and I think you know. People always say, when you know, you know, and like, oh, you guys have, you know, been together less than a year. You know, how could you know?
Speaker 1:but like, I think that's how I know personally is like I know that, like literally, you know we could be living on the street, evicted, uh, you know, whatever it could be, the worst situation possible. But like I know that you would be right there and like we would figure the fuck out, because you're a figure outer that's true, I'm a planner.
Speaker 2:I'm a planner and a problem solver so we would figure it out, that's good, but what's the name of this podcast again?
Speaker 1:opposite ends, opposite ends. Okay, we can switch it, but that's no, I like that.
Speaker 2:I like opposite ends. That's good. I Are you going to wrap us up? You want me to wrap us up? You can go ahead, okay, so I think that was a. That was a great episode.
Speaker 1:That was really successful. That was successful. I'm proud of us. Yeah, that was good, and it's the new crystals we got. Yeah, yeah, I got.
Speaker 2:I was like, get it to go on throwing it on me. That's our Saturday or Sunday shooting a pod, um, but it's gonna get, I think it's. You know, those are those things where you know, last piece of advice, where we wrap it up right. It's like if, whether you're a, you know, if you're an entrepreneur, or you're a teacher, or whatever your occupation is, I think that you have to be, um, you know willing. I think that you have to be, you know willing to be flexible for your person. And you know you two, you two, need to try to find things that you know you can do together. That like fulfills each of them Right, if it's going to the gym, if it's coming in, you know, I mean, I love being in the office.
Speaker 2:I'm in the office all the time. You know what I mean. So it's like the fact that you're willing to come in and shoot a podcast and do the things that I enjoy and you're willing to you're able to find enjoyment in it too. It's powerful, because you know we're all busy and it's like so if you don't, you know have, like you can't just go to dinner every week and that be a thing. You know what I mean Like that's a powerful thing, but being able to find things that you know the two of you can enjoy and spend the time to do together, like I just think it's so valuable, you know, to a relationship. So I appreciate you coming on and starting a podcast with me.
Speaker 2:Of course, it's fun, yeah, so we always have good comments we do we do, and so that was for you know, the start, the beginning, episode zero. You know we'll get this out there. It'll be on all major platforms. If you're interested in hearing us talk about a certain thing, I'll put a little landing page together for us too, so people can again drop little comments in there and whatnot, and so this will also be on YouTube when it goes out. But either, connect with my IG is at Michael McGovern, our CEO. What's yours?
Speaker 1:Leah Harkness 01.
Speaker 2:And, yeah, go ahead and reach out to us and let us know if there's a topic or something that you would like to hear us. It's still recording. I just shut off, but this is still recorded on there. Um, yeah, and, and just let us, uh, you know, give, uh, reach out to us and we more than happy to you know,
