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If you have ever found yourself confused, heartbroken, or really doubting your worth as a woman after encountering or having a relationship with a spiritual guru, a high value man or a man who says he's Alpha, then this video is for you because what we're gonna be doing in this video, per your request, is we are going to be detailing all the manipulation tactics that these unhealthy men use, especially on women who are in vulnerable situations, when their self-esteem is low and I'm gonna teach you how you can start reclaiming your power back. From these situations, this is basically gonna be like a truth serum and a truth pill. Uh, it's not gonna be victim shaming at all because the reality is like, if you've experienced these things, you're not broken and there's nothing wrong with you, but you do need to be informed about what is healthy behavior and what is not healthy behavior. Welcome to this channel. My name is Amanda Abya, and on this channel we talk about how to manifest what you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama. That most people are accustomed to. We talk about spirituality, we talk about neuroscience and how to combine the two. And lately we've been talking a lot about, uh, relationships and relationship dynamics. In fact, a lot of you found me because of the video I did about the Aubrey Marcus Cosmic Throuple Disaster, um, and many of you joined because of that video. So thank you so much for being here. So if these are topics that you're interested in, just make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video. Oh, and by the way, if you want free resources, how to Work with Me, courses, all that stuff, you can find it in the description below. I'm gonna do my best to answer all the questions that have been coming in from that Aubrey Marcus video that I did, starting with this one. So this video was inspired by Jane. Thank you, Jane. If you are watching. And she responded to the video I did about Aubrey Marcus, where I talked about a lot of the freaking red flags that were coming out that both my husband and I noticed in that podcast where he announces he's polyamorous again, and him and his wife brought a third person in. I'll leave that below so you can go watch it, but this comment came in which inspired this video. And it says, have been listening to a few of these reactions and yours is probably my favorite. One thing I would love to see you unpack is how Aubrey called Alana. That's the third person, the younger woman, pure love. I only saw this in a clip as I could not stomach the podcast. Neither could I, girl, neither could my husband, neither could half the internet. This is such a massive red flag that I have also fallen victim to. So have many women, and I'll explain what's going on there. Uh, many times. When men idealize you, it feels wonderful, but they are not honoring you. They are letting you know that they will not be there for the real you, the whole you. Uh, interesting parallels with the shadow side of spirituality, seeking the high of divine connection, uh, without groundedness. So first off the bat, I just wanna talk about this specific instance, and then I'm gonna go into the different groups of men and the different manipulation tactics that they use. Uh, but with this particular thing, um, when a man is idealizing you, especially really early on in a relationship, it is a major red flag because they're trying to, they're trying to create dependence, uh, very quickly, like you depending on them very quickly. And in addition to that one rule that you're gonna wanna follow throughout this entire video and basically throughout your entire life, uh, if you're dating or in relationship. Is, um, men can say whatever they want and it doesn't really matter. What you need to pay attention to is what they're actually doing because the divine masculine and the healthy masculine, they live in integrity. They say they're gonna do something, they do it. Um, so if they're telling you one thing, oh my God, you're so wonderful. You're pure love, you're pure light, as in the case of Audrey Marcus. But he's a married man, for example. Uh, bringing you into this relationship and. Giving, putting you in ayahuasca ceremonies or whatever very quickly after meeting you, then you know that it's all BS basically. Because he might be saying all these beautiful, wonderful things, but his actions are showing that he doesn't actually care. Right. Not about you. Uh, anyway, so I just wanted to address that very quickly, uh, and use it as, this is the general rule throughout this entire video, which is pay attention to what men do, not what they say. That is extremely important. The other thing that I'm going to say before I get into the different groups of men and all the different manipulation tactics that they use is that these men are by and large not behaving as healthy males. Uh, healthy human males, I should say. Um, and in addition to that, um, you might be inclined to call them toxic masculine behavior. Yes. I kind of have an issue. With that term only because these men and these examples that I'm going to use, they're not behaving in a masculine way at all. In fact, many of them, um, many of them are feminized men. And, and that's what's causing a lot of the manipulation. There's lots of reasons why men become feminized, uh, like in their brains and how they see the world. Don't have time to get into that, uh, right now. But none of these men that I'm gonna be talking about are actually masculine, if that makes sense. Okay. Uh, especially one in particular that I'm gonna be talking about that tries to, or two actually, that actually all of them, a lot of them will try to portray themselves as being very masculine but behind. But it's just a mask and it's a shield. They're mostly feminized men. Um, and you'll know that by their actions and what they're doing. So that's why I wanted to bring that up. Okay. Let's see. Hmm. Let's talk about section one. The men who do this. Shout out to my husband for helping me organize this as a man and as a man who, when he was 19 years old, uh, fell into. Uh, one of these groups, which is very common when men are very young. Obviously he got out of it and now in retrospect, sees how damaging it is to both men and women. Uh, but shout out to my husband for helping me organize all of this and put it together. So the first group, which is the one my husband fell into when he was 19 years old, um, is the pickup artist, uh, crowd. Um, or now I think they're kind of called Red Pill. Like red pill and pickup aren't that different these days. But you know, back when my husband was 19 years old, red pill wasn't a thing. Now it's a thing and what's interesting is this channel tends to attract a lot of red pill guys. And you'll see them fighting with me in the comments sometimes clear cut sign that they are red pill'cause they're fighting with a woman on the internet. Um, and in addition to that, um, these guys don't like it that I'm teaching you all how to spot them and how to have self-esteem and how to spot healthy male behavior. So let's get into it. Uh, red pill and pickup. Basically what the, what this group does, right? So it's the pickup artist, the red pill. Guys, you're probably familiar with this because you see it on the internet. It was like a big movement thing. The red pill movement, they basically teach manipulation under the guise. Of confidence and under the guise of traditional values, uh, they use tactics like DHV demonstration of higher value, which my husband had to explain to me what this was. So you can get an example. So let's say you're out at a bar and you're with your friends. And what a guy will do is that he will come to the table and he will act like he owns the table and like he bought the whole damn table in order to demonstrate higher value. Because essentially a lot of these men think like they're the prize, and you're gonna notice that throughout this whole thing. And they're trying to, um, increase their perceived sexual market value. Um, in order for women, particularly those who don't know these tactics or maybe have lower self-esteem or in a vulnerable state, find them attractive. Right? So that's one of the ways in which you demonstrate a higher value. Forced scarcity to make you chase them. So this is really clear in a lot of these situations, is a lot of these unhealthy men, which are feminized men, most of the time, they will make you chase them. That's gonna be the common denominator throughout all this. So, for example, in this case, what that might look like is a dude dating, you know, multiple women. And then, you know, he might ask you out at the last minute and he's like, Hey, do you wanna go out tonight? And then you say No. And he's like, okay, I'll just book a date with someone else or whatever, because I got all these women, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah. Like that kind of stuff to force scarcity to make it seem like he's higher value than he actually is. And then when it comes to force scarcity, their hope is that. You, the woman will be like, oh my God, if he's dating other women, like, I must go out with him tonight, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That actually doesn't work. And one of the things that I found so interesting about this, and this is what I mean by femina feminized men, is that the polarities are actually switched. Because if this was switched and it was a woman, it would actually work, right? If this was switched and it was a woman who was, uh, getting positive, um, uh, positive behavior from men, positive reactions from men, from healthy men. I should say, um, that does actually make another healthy masculine male more attracted to that woman because that healthy, masculine male would be like, whoa, all these other guys, you know, they're interested in her and they treat her well and they want her, there must be something very special about her and what these men are, and that, that, that does actually work, um, for the feminine to do that. What's so interesting is that these red pill guys and the pickup guys. Are trying to use that ergo feminizing themselves and making themselves the prize to force women into a masculine role and the women go chase them. Um, and I think a lot of women will fall for it because, and this is one of the reasons why men have become feminized. There's a lot of confusion in terms of the roles of men and women in Polarity and sacred union and you know, we've all seen that stuff. So there's a lot of confusion. So a lot of women will be like, oh, I guess that's normal behavior. I have to go chase him. No, that's not healthy male behavior. The male healthy male pursues, you don't pursue him. Okay. Um, next group is the Passport Bros. Uh, my husband and I are actually quite familiar with this group of men. We live in Mexico. My husband runs a relocation company. So he helps people move to other countries, Mexico being one of them. And a lot of times in the comments we'll get the passport bros come out, coming out on that YouTube channel. And this is usually men, uh, who seek women in vulnerable positions in other countries overseas to exert control, uh, disguised as traditional values. So I wanna be clear about something.'cause I know plenty of people, for example, who have found the love of their lives in another country. I'm not talking about that, right? I'm talking about a specific group of men where their money goes further in another country. So they move over there. So then now they already have that, that DHV, that demonstration of higher value, as they say in the pickup world. So that the women in those countries will be like, oh my God, the American guy showed up, or the British guy showed up, or the Australian guy showed up. He's got money. Let me go hang out with him instead of, you know, the men that are around me. And a lot of these guys will do it, um, in terms of like, oh, we have similar values, but really it has nothing to do with if, if you really want traditional values, um, in a more traditional relationship, there's nothing wrong with that. Like my husband and I have a more traditional relationship and that's okay, but he's not like exerting control, uh, over me, if that makes sense. In the case of the passport bros, they basically want like maids and cleaners that they don't have to pay, if that makes sense. Um, so that's another group, right? And they're similar to the red pill and the pickup artists, those guys. Next group, and this is the one that we saw with Aubrey Marcus, right? Are the spiritual manipulators. I think these are actually like the worst, uh, because the amount of like mind fucking, that needs to go on in order for them to pull this off. This is like another level. Uh, when my husband was helping me with this and I was like, okay, so you, um, what's the difference between like a pickup guy and a guy like Aubrey Marcus, who's being more of a spiritual manipulator and he's like, oh, it's way worse. With the spiritual manipulators, because in that case, like you're bringing God into it, you're bringing spirituality into it. There's way more warped egos, like usually the red pill and the pickup artist guys, like, they just don't know how to talk to women, right. With these guys, um, it, it exert, it's using all of these things like spirituality and warped ego and Messiah complex, and in this case, psychedelics. Um. In order to exert control over women. So it's like worse in my husband's opinion. Um, so they wrap ego and control into things like tantra. I'm not saying Tantra's bad. Uh, I've, I've studied a little bit of it. I've read lots of books on it. I probably will not be going to a workshop on it though, because it does tend to attract a lot of people who are warped. Let's be real, uh, polyamory. They love to throw that one out there. God loves to tell them to go have multiple wives and put babies, uh, in multiple women and foe enlightenment. They'll use healing language, uh, while at the same time emotionally gutting you. And that's exactly pretty much what we see playing out, uh, with Aubrey Marcus and his wife. Like, oh my God, I love you so much more. Now our relationship is so much deeper. Now let me talk to this younger woman and tell her how she's pure light. Publicly in front of my wife while my wife has to sit there and take it. And let me tell my wife that she's so amazing and she needs to keep pushing her edges for me. So you see, you see how that works. Um, then there's power predators. These are probably the ones that people are most familiar with. These are like the duties of the world or the Weinsteins. Uh, these are the ones that we're most familiar with. Probably bosses, directors, mentors, um, who leverage status and gatekeeping. And then they will extract in, uh, intimacy under the illusion of opportunity. I mean, we're seeing this play out in real time too with the Diddy trial, uh, which is crazy work, uh, in terms of what was going on, um, with Diddy. So that's probably the one that we're most familiar with. But these are like the four categories and four groups that I came up with. Alright, section two. This is a whole masterclass here that you guys are getting the tactics. That these men use, they all use very similar tactics. Number one, which is what was pointed out in that comment, love bombing over the top affection to fast track emotional dependency. And it's especially true at the beginning of a relationship. Uh, if you just met this person or it's like a newer relationship and they're telling you things like you are pure light, you are pure love. You know, you are the stars to my sky, like all this stuff, right? Again, don't pay attention to what men say. Pay attention to what they do. Uh, that is the most important thing to note here. But basically what that is, is that they want to fast track the emotional dependency. They want to emotionally get you right so that they can sleep with you faster or they control you. Um, so that's very, very important, especially early on in a relationship. And again, we saw this playing out with the whole Aubrey Marcus thing. We also see it with Diddy, um, where, you know, he was abusing Cassie. And then according to the testimony that's been coming out in court, you know, he's like abusing her and beating her and all these things. And then he'll call and he'll apologize. And he's a great guy and he's so wonderful and he tells me all these wonderful things and he pays for all my bills. Stuff like that. Okay. Uh, next is gaslighting. We also saw this, uh, on that podcast, so that's like denying your reality and flipping the script to make you question your sanity. One thing that really stood out to me was how vi Viola was literally questioning her own sanity, uh, in front of us when she was like, yeah, you know, it was really difficult for me to bring the third party in. And I was like, is it me? Is it my problem? Like that whole kind of thing. I'm like, oh girl. I don't know if you gas lit yourself or your husband gas lit you, but there's a lot of that, uh, going on. Or for example, um, them gaslighting the audience, right? Saying, oh, it's just projection. Stop projecting on me. Uh, no, it's not projection. Next thing is triangulation. So this is bringing in exes friends or new women. To provoke jealousy and make you compete. So one of the things that is so damaging about throuple and polyamory and all those kinds of things is that it's, it's like a perfect setup for triangulation and chaos. And what a lot of men will do, and again, these are unhealthy men, okay? These are not, uh, masculine men. A lot of these are feminized men. They put on a good show that they're masculine and that they're divine masculine, but they're actually behaving like feminized women. Uh, feminized men, meaning they're kind of seeing the worldview kind of like a woman, right? Which we've seen in a lot of these situations. For example, them thinking they're the prize or them using a lot of the flowery language like we saw Aubrey Marcus doing. It's feminized men ultimately, um, at the end of the day and what they'll do, right? And again, this also, um, improves their status is that they will bring in another woman and that is the issue. Uh, and again, it just, it, it reeks of triangulation because now you're gonna have an issue where these two women are gonna be, uh, competing against each other and provoke jealousy. Meanwhile, he gets off, uh, to it because he's like, oh my God, the women are fighting for me. I'm the pro, uh, all that kind of stuff. Um, and women have to be really careful about this, especially in the spiritual community. They love to try and bring women into polyamorous. Uh, situations in the name of spirituality and overcoming your jealousy fake spiritual authority is another thing that they will use. You're just not spiritually evolved enough to understand the. Or have we heard that before? Uh, and they will weaponize, uh, awakening, right? Or they'll be like, this is the new evolution of where relationships are going and you have to transcend. So that is usually, uh, very manipulative in a lot of ways. And then of course, uh, victim flipping is another thing that they'll use. So they hurt you. But, um, but. Position themselves as the wounded one who just needs your compassion. Diddy was probably doing a lot of this, um, I can't remember if it came out in the testimony or not, uh, for Diddy, but what this might look like is they did something really messed up to you and you are hurt, but they're like, oh, I'm so sorry. It's my trauma, or it's this, or it's that. Please give me compassion instead of just taking responsibility and not fucking doing it again. So that's another way. These are some of the manipulation tactics. That they will use again, clearly these are not healthy men. Okay? These are the men that you want to stay away from no matter what. Um, okay. Section three is gonna be about why it works on women, and particularly on women with low self-esteem. So a lot of times, a lot of these men will target women who are vulnerable, or they will target women with low self-esteem. And low self worth, you are basically a magnet, uh, to these kind of men. So number one is you have to do like your own feminine inner work in terms of like, okay, what is empowered feminine? Where is my self-esteem at? Where is my self worth at? Um, that's number one, right? What are the things that my husband said to me actually earlier today while he was helping me, um, organize this video? Um, providing that masculine structure, which is what masculine men do. Is he said to me, you know, the thing that attracted me to you was like, you honestly didn't care whether I was attracted to you or not. Like you had self-esteem. And one of the other things that he had said to me before, um, is let's say, you know, my husband and I had met while he was still very young and he was in his pickup days. Uh,'cause again, he got wrapped up into this, which is one of the reasons he was helping me to able to help me put this together. Uh,'cause he sees how deceptive the whole thing is now as an a more mature adult. Uh, man. And he's like, if I had tried any of that stuff on you, like the demonstration of higher value or the forced scarcity, or making you chase me, like it wouldn't have worked on you anyway because you actually had self-esteem. So a lot of these, uh, men who are manipulating, what they'll do is that they will target women who are vulnerable, uh, and who have lower self-esteem and lower self worth. That's why you'll see these red pill guys come out in my comment section. On this channel and be very upset with me and want to fight with me because I'm teaching you how to have self-worth and self-esteem so you don't date them. Okay? Um, and instead you go learn what healthy masculine behavior is and pick better men. Okay? So it works because, uh, a woman who has lower self-esteem or lower self-worth, essentially what she's doing is she's outsourcing her validation. So when someone high status, right? Or someone faking their high status, like a lot of the pickup guys. Uh, when they notice you, then you then a woman with lower self-worth will take that as proof of her worth. Oh, this high value person chose me. In other words, uh, not realizing that a lot of times they're faking their high value. Uh, also, it could be possible that if a woman has lower self-esteem or self-worth, that she was conditioned to seek love through sacrifice, struggle and performance. My God, are we seeing that with Aubrey Marcus' wife right now? Um, so that, and that's very common. A lot of women will find themselves in these um, situations. This is the other thing she's doing. You've also probably been spiritually bypassing your own boundaries. In the name of Unconditional Love guys, unconditional love is a farce. Okay? Unconditional love is like for your kids, right? Unconditional love is not for your romantic partner, okay? It actually does not work. In romantic partnership at all because that's how you end up in situations. Uh, like the one Viola Marcus finds herself in. Uh, unconditional love is for your kid and it's for your pets. That's basically it. Uh, other than that, nope. Doesn't work, um, a lot of the time. So section four is how to start reclaiming your power. If you are a woman who has found yourself in a lot. Of these types of situations, or you'll find that you have been dating a lot of these men. Uh, first of all, check out the free resources in the description below, because we gotta work on your empowered feminine energy. And these men aren't even gonna see you and you aren't gonna see them, and you will stop attracting each other. But let's leave. Let me leave you with some tips, right? So number one. You gotta know the game. Okay? And that's one of the reasons why I've been doing these videos and why it's been resonating with so many of you. Because now you're being put on game, essentially you're learning what this game is, what it looks like, how people play it. Um, and the, the thing with, particularly with like the, the pickup guys and the passport bros. Actually, probably all of them, but I'm gonna say specifically the red pill guys and the pickup artists. And the passport bros for sure. Probably the spiritual manipulators too. Not sure about the power predators. Um, but basically like these men, they study psychology, okay? They study how women with low self-esteem operate. You, you need to study, right? You need to study yourself. Um, and what it, where you lie on this. And where you might be able to up your self-esteem and study the game, right? Not to manipulate men. That's not what we're trying to do here. We're just not even trying to deal with these men at all, is what we're trying to do, right? And we're trying to choose better and do better and pick healthier men. Okay? So that's number one. Know the game, which if you're watching these videos, you're, you're getting put on game, right? Number two, embodiment over intellect. Ooh, I saw this with Aubrey Marcus' wife too. Okay. Get in your body. Right? The feminine is all about the body and your nervous system. Never, ever, ever, ever lies. Um, so one of the things that I noticed, and a lot of you guys brought this up in the comments and I just didn't have a chance to talk about it on the last video, is that Aubrey, Marcus's wife, um, her nervous system is not with the shit. Let's put it that way. And the way that you can tell is because of the energy that she's giving off and the body language, uh, that she's giving off, um, she's actually probably really being pushed into a lot of her masculine, put it that way. Energy to Chase Aubrey is probably what's going on here. She definitely doesn't feel safe, um, in a lot of ways, and you can tell, uh, those of you, of us who've studied a lot of stuff about the nervous system, um, I studied it here in Mexico. When I did my holistic healing certification, and literally what they said on day one was that everything starts in the nervous system. Um, and we spent a lot of time on the nervous system, nervous system, regulation, um, all that kind of stuff. And one of the things that really stood out to me in this particular situation was like her mouth was saying one thing, but her body was saying something completely different. She looks more like she has shrink the, the mental gymnastics that she was doing. I'm like, her nervous system can't handle this. Um, it can't, right? Um, she's not embodied. She's like literally from the neck up trying to make sense of all of this. Um, that's what's happening. Okay. Next is stop romanticizing potentials. And this is what I said in the beginning. This is rule number one. Follow a man's actions, not what comes out of his mouth. Okay? If his words and his actions don't match, you need to walk and you need to walk immediately. Okay. Um, and then finally, right, and this is interesting. Um, sacred rage is healing. Okay? You are allowed to be angry. You are allowed to set boundaries. You are allowed to set limits. You are allowed to put conditions on, um, whether on, on the conditions, on whether or not a relationship is going to work for you or not. I think sometimes what happens, particularly with the very spiritual women, is they think like anger is somehow a bad thing. Or a bad emotion. Um, it's not, sometimes it's very well warranted and very healthy and you are allowed to be angry. And that is something I saw come up in the comment section a lot as well with this whole Aubrey Marcus situation, um, is that, you know, people are angry. Uh, they're being told it's not okay. That they're angry, they're being judgemental, they're being this, uh, but actually, yeah, no, it's probably a good thing that we're angry and, and checking him. Uh, in other words, whether or not it's gonna get through to them, I have no idea. But in that case, the anger is merited. Um, so one of the things that I want you to start telling yourself over and over and over again, particularly if you recognize, if you recognize that you've been dating men who are like this, you wanna say, you know, my love is sacred. I am not available for manipulation, disguised as magic. Because what you'll see a lot of the time is that that's exactly what these men are doing. It's manipulation, but it's disguised as magic. It's disguised as I'm a high value man. It's disguised as I am a mentor. It's disguised as I'm your boss. I have power over you. It's disguised as, um, uh, spiritual enlightenment and things like that. So your love is sacred. Right. Your body is sacred, your time is sacred, your energy is sacred, and you don't have time for this, and you are not available, uh, for this anymore, especially because you're gonna subscribe to my channel and you're gonna keep getting put on game so that you can recognize this deceptive behavior. And I'll make sure to do a lot more videos on like healthy masculine behavior as well. This was just requested. Um, so I hope you guys found this. Really helpful. Again, you can find all the resources, free resources, paid resources, what have you in the description below. If you have any other video requests on this topic, please let me know in the comments'cause I want to serve you and I want to answer as much of them, um, as possible. And again, thank you for those of you who've been commenting, subscribing, sharing the last video that I did, uh, on Aubrey Marcus. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Uh, your comments. I was very happy to see that people are not as stupid as Aubrey probably thought they were. So that, that gave me, um, a lot of hope that a lot of people are really seeing what's going on here. And I also loved that you guys started asking questions on going deeper into this topic. So you don't, those of you who have fallen for these things don't fall for them ever again. And that you can start to recognize. What a healthy, divine masculine man is, and choose those. Choose those guys and choose yourself ultimately at the end of the day. All right, guys. Thank you so much for giving me your time today, and I'll catch you on the next one.