Why Twin Flames Are Not Healthy Relationships (And What Is)

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Transcript

0:32

If you've been around these spiritual internet streets for a while, then you've probably heard of the concept of a twin flame, you know, finding the other half of your soul, and then you come together and you have a spiritual awakening and it's so rad, and that's how you're really going to evolve. Spiritually is through this lover and this twin flame. Yeah, I know. You know what I'm talking about because it's been all over TikTok. It's been all over YouTube with twin flame readings, and we also had a couple of Netflix documentaries with an alleged cult about twin flames that is now currently under federal investigation and in this video with everything else we've been talking about on this channel. We're gonna be talking about how this whole twin flame craziness is absolute nonsense, not even close to what a healthy relationship should look like and why. You need to stay far, far away from anything that has that new agey twin flame. Thing going because you will be in for a world of hurt in your relationships if you do. Hi, my name is Amanda. Welcome to Mindful Success Path, where we talk about manifesting what it is that you desire in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to. We talk about nervous system regulation. Lately, we've been talking a lot about healthy relationship dynamics. You may have seen a couple videos I did about Aubrey Marcus and that whole Tom Foolery and how crazy that is, and today we're keeping it going with. The other controversy on the internet, twin flames. So if you're interested in this stuff, make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bells. You know, it may say single video that we have coming out on this channel. I have a goal of daily videos or at least three times a week, but I have a goal of daily video. Right now, and as always, I always share resources that go along with the video for those of you who want to go deeper, so there's two in this case. The first resource is the Hustle to Harmony Masterclass. This is where I talk a lot about nervous system regulation and how to regulate your nervous system so you can have healthier relationships specifically. That's the example that I used. You can find that below. And I also just created a masterclass on the dynamics between masculine energy and feminine energy, so you understand how it looks like in different parts of your life and what it's supposed to look like in a healthy fashion. So again, I will go deeper into these concepts in those two masterclasses. Alright, let's get into it. Twin Flames. This new age concept that has people out here looking crazy, uh, in relationships. So what you're gonna discover in the this video is the history of twin flames, at least in the West.'cause uh, that's where I'm from. We're gonna see how new age and new age concepts totally like distorted this idea and just. Man, they really messed this one up. We're gonna talk about why it's oftentimes toxic and why you need to stay away from it. And we're gonna talk about what real healthy love looks like. So. Here's where the twin Flame concept came from. The originally, and again, I'm talking about Western culture. I know it shows up in some Eastern culture as well. I'm from the West, so that's what we're gonna stick to right now because that's what I'm most familiar with. So in Plato symposium, we, yeah, we gotta go all the way back to the ancient Greeks for this one. So in Pa Plato Symposium, there was a, there was an original. Split soul myth, right? So that's the first place that we see it. The next place that we see it, which is probably where a lot of the new ages got it from, is in Hermeticism. Big fan of Hermeticism and the universal laws that came from it. And gnosticism. Now gnosticism, uh, is kind of like that branch of the books of the Bible that didn't make it into the Bible that we know today. And they were mystics and they talk about divine counterparts. And then the other place where it comes up is Theosophy, which talks about soul evolution, esoteric soul pairs, and. I, the thing that we really need to understand here, guys, and this is where things have gone way off the charts, is that originally it was actually just meant to be metaphorical, okay? It wasn't meant to be a prescription. A lot of times it's not even meant to be romantic. Right? At least not in the West. Um, it's, it's mythology, right? So Play-Doh for example, uh, it's mythological imagery. That's what ancient Greece was known for, right? I mean, we have all these ancient gods and goddesses, you know, just because Aphrodite was going around sleeping with a bunch of other gods, does that mean that we need to be going around sleeping with a bunch of other gods? No. This was human beings trying to make sense. Of, of human things by using the divine. A lot of it, uh, was metaphor and a lot of it, you know, in terms of visuals also comes from art, from mystical tradition, sacred geometry, et cetera, et cetera. But the point is it was never meant to be literal. Never, it was not supposed to be literal at all. And in fact, if you take these concepts as prescription for, um, a healthy relationship, oh my God, you are in for a world of hurt because your nervous system is going to be totally dysregulated because you're not going to be able to feel safe. There's gonna be a lot of chaos and drama. A lot of people end up trauma bonded when it comes to these things. So that's the first thing to keep in mind that even though these. Concepts Right, have been around since the ancient Greeks, at least in the west, in, in this twin flame concept or this twin soul concept, that it was never meant to be something actually literal or prescriptive, uh, in relationships. Okay, now let's fast forward to new age and how they distorted it. And by new age, I don't mean the type of new age, like, you know, astrology or perhaps. Uh, more earth-based spirituality, like Paganism and stuff like that that people call new age. But really it has nothing to do with new age'cause it predates Christianity. I don't mean that, I mean like the really crazy culty stuff that has come out, uh, of the new age where they, uh, basically co-opt all of these things and then create the stew of mess that we've been seeing, um, a lot recently. So, for example. We started seeing a rise of new age teachers, um, and we started seeing a modern version of this twin soul concept, right? So in that case, it was starting to be taught as something that's intense, it's destined and it's spiritual union. Then they started talking about other, all this other stuff like runner chaser, separation as growth and constant triggering. Uh, being normalized. And then of course, this has gotten totally exploited by online coaches and spiritual influencers, twin Flames, universe being the one being investigated by, um, the Feds right now. Finally, it seems the Feds don't investigate cults until there's a Netflix documentary about them, but I digress. So one of the things right, that we need to keep in mind about this twin flame concept is that it oftentimes. Uh, mirrors trauma bonds. Now, before getting it into that, let me tell you just some of the red flags just based off of the, the basic teachings, right? So what we talk about a lot on this channel is a concept called polarity. And polarity in relationships is good. It's what creates attraction. Attraction make creates sex. Sex creates babies, right? That's part of the reason why it's good. Um, so it's, it's biologically in us in order for humanity to keep going. So that's one of the, the reasons why that's good. But it's not just that. It's also for long-term, um, love for long-term relationships. You need forms of polarity. Now, what is polarity? Polarity is like a magnet, right? You have a negative pole and a positive pole, and what happens when you have two different poles and magnets? They woo. They come together. It's the same thing in relationships. So the minute that you start creating this concept of there's a runner and there's a chaser, you're already all the way off in terms of having a healthy relationship. Because healthy relationships don't have runners and chasers. Healthy relationships have polarity, and the polarity goes, woo. Right, and brings them together. Same thing with separation as growth. If you have polarity, it means you have a healthy relationship. If you have polarity, it means there is no separation, right? Because you are attracted to each other. So this idea of separation as growth is absolutely crazy, and it's not a healthy relationship at all. And the idea of constant triggering, being normalized now. I wanna be clear about something, your partner will trigger you, right? Um, but there's a difference between, hey, we're two different people that came from two different backgrounds and maybe we were taught different things. Or sometimes you're from different cultures. My husband and I are from different cultures. Um, you know, or you were raised differently. My husband and I were totally raised differently. Um, so there, there's a difference between that and then maybe, you know, that causing some triggers or for example. Um, some traumas that we had as childhood and that causing some triggers that's very different than insane chaos and drama all the time, which is what a lot of these twin flames talk about. And a lot of these twin flame situations, people will put up with all kinds of craziness because they will be like, oh my God, it's just I'm being triggered to, um, you know. Overcome my limitations and my spiritual evolution. That's why I'm with this addict. That's why I'm with this person who abuses me. That's why I just put up with whatever, because it is my spiritual evolution. Again, this is not healthy. Healthy relationships have boundaries and healthy relationships, believe it or not, have conditions in order for the relationship, uh, to maintain. Itself. Right? So where we're seeing this as an example, they don't talk about this twin flame concept, I don't think, right? But for example, with this Aubrey market situation with his wife, right? Where there's a total confusion of this, and she is like, he's literally causing so much chaos and drama in her life. But because she has this wackadoodle idea in her mind that this is a part of her spiritual growth and evolution, she's gonna put up with whatever shit that man throws at her, right? So although they don't teach the. Twin flames concept, right? It is very similar in that way, right? It's very similar in so far as I'm in constant drama, I'm in constant pain. I'm constantly being pushed past my edges. That is not the same as you being triggered because you guys had a different upbringing. That is not the same as you guys being triggered because you have different, uh, cultures and you come from different cultures and you have a different understanding of things, not the same, right? It's one thing to be triggered. Right by the person or have a disagreement. It's a totally other thing to have unnecessary stress, chaos, and drama. And what do we avoid on this channel? Unnecessary stress, chaos, and drama. Right? That's why we don't do the twin flame thing. That's why we're like, no, run, run in the other direction. Run fast from these things. So let's get into how twin flames often mirror, uh, trauma bonds, right? So twin flame signs resemble emotional addiction. And trauma bonding, right? So they have this cycle, and the cycle is, I'm gonna idealize this person. Then there's triggering, then I get abandoned. Then there's a reconciliation, right? So it's the couple, the on and off again, couple, but with a lot more drama, right? Even the on and off again, couple y'all make up your mind, so, right. But oftentimes it's a, um, on and off again, couple, right? I idealize. This romantic picture, then there's some drama. Then I'm abandoned because of the drama, and then there's reconciliation, and then we just create this cycle over and over and over and over and over again, right? And there's this false belief that pain equals growth equals true love. True love is not painful. And it is not dramatic, okay? Life in and of itself is painful enough as it is without us having to do all this, right? If you've been married with somebody or with somebody for a long time. And you're in a long-term relationship, you're gonna go through enough life stuff, okay? You're gonna go through deaths in the family. You might go through some financial hardship. Uh, you might go through normal like, like life stuff that already creates a lot of pain. You don't need to be adding all this extra pain. It is totally unnecessary. It's quite the opposite. Healthy relationships are very stabilizing, right? They are not this. Orienting. The other thing that a lot of these twin flame relationships cause is a lot of nervous system, uh, confusion, right? Because they're like, oh, if it's really intense right, then there must be intimacy. And a lot of times it's just trauma bonds. So I'll give an example of, um, how this used to, he doesn't mind me sharing this stuff. He's gonna come on the channel to talk about it, uh, at some point. But before my husband had met me, he'd already gotten out of this, but my husband grew up in a very. Um, chaotic household. He had to grow up very quickly because there was, you know, addiction and just all kinds of stuff. And he and his siblings had to grow up pretty fast. Uh, let's just put it that way because the adults were not adulting. There was mental health issues, there was all kinds of stuff. So, because my husband grew up in an environment. Where my husband's, uh, parents might, if you were to go through the Twin Flame philosophy, it would be my husband's parents, right? Like the twin flames that is shown to you about the chaos and the drama and the abandonment from the this and the that. It would be my husband's parents. My husband's parents were two addicts who had no business being together at all. And you know, good things came out of it. Obviously my husband and his siblings. But you know, if we were to tape the Twin Flames Logic, my husband's parents would be under the Twin Flame Logic. They were both addicts. That's what they were, right. And there was a lot of chaos and there was a lot of confusion and there was a lot of nervous system dysregulation and you know, a lot of children having to grow up really quickly and being hypervigilant and you know, my husband's been to, you know, therapy and he's done a lot of healing around this stuff. But all of that to say, my husband thought that was normal, right? Because that's what he grew up around. So all in his twenties, he was in those types of relationships where it was a lot of chaos, a lot of drama. Um, he had, you know, partners with mental health issues and he thought all this stuff was just totally normal until he realized it's not normal. So he thought that the intensity was, um, supposed to be. Yeah. That's what created romance and love until, you know, he started realizing that's not true. And then we got together and then he would get triggered because I would not be dramatic and chaotic, uh, because I don't, I'm not like that. Right. And I would not be dramatic and chaotic. I'm the opposite. I get in my head and I start trying to solve problems, but because he was so used to chaos and drama and he thought that was normal, then he thought, uh, his brain would go wild and he would be, he would get triggered in so far as. You know, I don't, what, is this the way it's supposed to be? Like, you're supposed to be calm, or we're supposed to talk things out, or we're supposed to communicate and you're not a crazy person and you're not gonna chase me around and you're, you know. So in that sense, the triggering was good. Uh, not like the twin flames triggering, where it's like co. Insanity all the time. And then you're calling that triggers. In this case, the trigger was my husband realizing that all the stuff he grew up thinking was normal because he was raised by two addicts. Um. Realizing that it's not normal and that would cause a trigger, but then it would heal things and it would actually stabilize his nervous system afterward. In the twin flame situation, it's constant destabilizing of the nervous system. You never feel safe, but because you're being told that growth pain equals growth, and growth equals love, then you're gonna buy the bullshit and that's all it is. It's actual bullshit. That's what it is. So here's what a healthy relationship actually looks like, right? So, um, it's built on mutual growth, not divine destiny. Right now, my husband and I do have some weird synchronicities, uh, in our story about how we knew like the same people, even though we were, grew up 3000 miles apart, uh, from each other and. There are some things where we're like, huh, and you kind of like look about the synchronicity, but there is no, this isn't this idea of like, oh, we have a divine destiny to be together, and it's not that egoic, right? It's more about, you know, we are two human beings who value growth and there's going to be mutual growth. That's what it is more than anything. Not some kind of divine planned destiny. That's all ego. It's all ego at the end of the day. So here are the correct characteristics of a healthy dynamic. Number one, emotional safety. What are twin flame relationships? Missing emotional safety, especially if someone's always being abandoned, right? Or there's a lot of chaos and a lot of drama. Uh, another thing is clear communication. Knowing how to communicate with your partner instead of, again, creating chaos. Mutual respect is in a healthy, dynamic and steady progress. It's stabilizing. It's not chaotic, it's not perfect because again, life, life's, but healthy relationship dynamics are stabilizing, right? They stabilize you. They don't bring more chaos into your life. Okay. That's the main thing to keep in mind. But because we've over romanticized pain, then we equate pain to romance. When in reality it's just like chemicals, hormones, and trauma bonding. At the end of the day, that's not real love. So, um, the other thing that is important to note here in healthy relationships dynamic is like you're not being completed, right? So with the Twin Flames concept, it's like. A soul broke off into two parts and now you're complete. There is none of that in healthy relationships. You're both complete. You're just walking together as whole people, and you are on a mutual journey of growth, right? Knowing that life is gonna life and it's not always gonna be peaches and rainbows and butterflies and glitter, but Right. It's not extra chaos and drama, which is what the twin flame stuff. Now the other thing to keep in mind here, right, is that healing. Does not require a twin flame. And this is one of the things that drives me nuts about the twin flame thing. It's like your spiritual awakening starts when you meet your twin flame. Uh, no. I had a spiritual awakening before I met my husband, right? My spiritual awakening had nothing to do with a twin flame. My spiritual awakening had to do with ancestral trauma being triggered and me going way beyond what my nervous system could handle, uh, in a business. And realizing that my entire life was built on fear and craziness, um, and insecurity, and that I had to go change that. I didn't need a twin flame for that. Right? A lot of people, their spiritual awakening comes from an addiction, right? They don't need a twin flame for that. Um, a lot of people have dark nights of the souls when they go through grief and loss. You don't need a twin flame for that. Life is already gonna throw this stuff at you, okay? You don't need a twin flame for it. Um, and the thing is that a lot of the most healthy relationships, both parties already started working on themselves and healing before they even got together. A lot of people ask my husband and I, they're like, oh my gosh, you guys act like you've been together for decades. Like one of our neighbors just told us that last night. Um, and you guys just get along so well that you're so complimentary, like. And, and everybody tells us that like they think we've been together for decades. We haven't. But it's because both my husband and I were working on ourselves and our healing and what healthy relationships looked like before we got together, okay? And that's usually what makes them stick. You don't need a twin flame for that. The other thing to keep in mind is that true love actually expands you. It does not confine you With this twin flame dynamic. You're stuck in a cage and you're stuck in a trauma loop and you're stuck in a cycle of toxicity. True love is not that true. Love helps you feel ex. Expansive and like you could take on the whole freaking world. Sometimes when you have that. Support from another person. You, you build things together, you multiply together. Sometimes literally with children, sometimes with businesses, sometimes with being pillars of a community, but there's an expansion, there's a multiplication, and in the Twin Flame dynamic, it's the exact opposite. You start building a cage around you. The other thing is a twin flame dynamic is completely built on fantasy and bullshit and ego. It has nothing to do with real connection or real intimacy. Real connection and real intimacy is not that dramatic. Okay? If someone's pushing you into a lot of drama, that is not a healthy relationship dynamic and healing, right? It's about empowerment, not spiritual codependency, because in this twin flame, the dynamic in the way that it's taught, they're just teaching you to be codependent, uh, with another person. And that's why a lot of it really at the end of the day, just ends up being a bunch of trial bonds, uh, at the end of the day, and chemicals and hormones. That's really what it is, mostly at the end of the day, because healthy relationships are not that dramatic. I have very little drama, uh, in my marriage, and I think that's another reason why people think we've been together for decades, right? Because we have very little drama. We're just like lock and step, right? And, and moving toward the direction of growth and, and to my husband's. You know, my husband, that's what would trigger him is that there was so little drama because he grew up in a household where there was a lot of it. Um, and he thought that was normal. So that's why he spent a decade in relationships where, um, that was the expectation. And, and that's what he got until he realized none of that stuff is healthy. And again, he realized that before we got together, he was already, um, out of that by the time we, we met and had gotten together. So. I want you to know, right? And you don't have to share publicly if you don't want to, but if you're willing to, because a lot of you have been sharing a lot of stories, especially on those Aubrey Marcus videos I did recently. Thank you so much for sharing, by the way, some of the stuff that you guys have been through,'cause it helps others. So if you feel so inclined. You don't have to do it publicly if you don't want to, don't worry. But if you want to, you know, let me know if you've been through a Twin Flame experience and share with me what it taught you. Right? Because I know a lot of people get wrapped up into this stuff just like they get wrapped up with the spiritual manipulators. Just like they get wrapped up with the feminized men and they're like, oh my God, that was complete insanity. I don't even know how I got out of that. Share it in the comments if you feel, uh, called to, to help other people because there's a lot of people who are very confused and struggling, uh, with a lot of this. And once again, make sure to check out the resources that go deeper into these things. I have my masterclass on nervous system regulation, um, which teaches you how to reset your nervous system in order to bring in healthier relationships, in order to bring in goals, uh, in a way where you're not going to sabotage. So, and actually feeling safe in your body and in your nervous system. So you, that's the Hustle to Harmony masterclass. And then I have a new masterclass. On, um, how masculine and feminine dynamics and what they look like in different areas of your life and what the unhealthy versus what the healthy looks like. So you can check that out as well. And if you have any questions, leave them in the comments because I love answering them on upcoming videos. Thank you so much for giving me your time today, and I'll catch you on the next one.