Feminine Communication Skills Every Married Woman Should Know

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Transcript

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Have you ever felt that no matter what you do, your husband just doesn't hear you? Or worse, when you speak up, it turns into conflict instead of connection. If so, then you might be communicating from a place of masculine energy. A lot of women do this. Unknowingly and it causes a lot of conflict in the relationship. You know, at best, the men shut down and at worst it turns into World War iii. So what I'm gonna be teaching you guys today is how to communicate in a more feminine way that's rooted in softness, feeling receptivity, and actually inspiring him. A lot of you have been asking about how do I. Fire this guy, um, to do what I need him to do. How do I influence him? Well, I'm going to be answering the question today'cause we're covering communication skills every married woman should know. And even if you're not married, you need to pay attention to this. Because one of the hacks that I used to manifest my husband was that instead of watching a bunch of like dating material and dating videos, I learned how to be married. And I already saw myself as a married woman and I would watch videos like this. Uh, to understand how a marriage works and I, I am positive that that shifted my identity and helped me manifest my husband. Hi, my name is Amanda. Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you desire in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to. So if that's something that you are interested in, make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video that we have coming out on this channel. We currently have a feminine communication series, uh, going on. On the channel. We've also been talking a lot about masculine and feminine energy dynamics. What's a healthy relationship, what's not nervous system regulation, all this good stuff. So make sure to subscribe and if you like this video, give it a like,'cause it helps us get it in front of more women so we can help them avoid disastrous uh, relationships and a bunch of unnecessary chaos and drama. So you can help us with our mission by giving a, like, it's free. And as always, I always have. Resources available For those of you who want to go deeper, those of you who are interested in private coaching or have very specific situations you need to get sorted out, shoot me an email. The information, uh, is below on how to contact me. And then, uh, for those of you who wanna go deeper, um, then make sure to check out our masculine and feminine energy dynamics masterclass, which you can find below.'cause I go a lot deeper into the concept of polarity, how it, how masculine and feminine energy dance together. The energetics behind all the stuff I've been talking about in this video and more information is below. So let's get into what is feminine communication, uh, because a lot of women just don't even know this. I certainly didn't, and it wasn't modeled for me either. I had to learn this, um, after I was married, which. A lot of, um, women do, and the feminine communication is not about being weak or submissive. That's a misunderstanding. It's definitely a misunderstanding I had for a very long time. It's really about learning how to express your truth with softness and magnetism so that you're actually heard, respected, and cherished. And at the same time, your husband also feels heard and. Respected now, whereas masculine communication is direct, it's assertive, it's solution focused. Feminine communication is more expressive, emotive, and it's focused more on the connection. When you learn how to do that, that's when you can inspire. Men, uh, women who know how to do this, I mean, they just turn lives around for men. Now, I'm not saying go change a man. Uh, I'm not saying that if a man has not proven that he can take care of you, that you go try and change him. I'm not saying that. I'm talking about healthy masculine men, uh, who already have proven that they can take care of you and they have the skills to do it. That's where it's going to work. That's where this should be applied. So let's talk about the psychology of a man. How his brain works and how he listens, because this is what causes a lot of problems, a lot of time in marriages, is that, you know, women operate in one way and think in one way and communicate in one way and receive information in one way, and men do it in a totally different way. So if you don't understand this about the two sexes, then there's going to be a lot of. This. Right. Um, and that's what's happening for most people. And in the worst cases, like people turn into roommates basically, or it turns into a mother child, uh, dynamic, or it turns into teammates, but not lovers. So here's something that most women don't know. And if you go on the internet these days, you would think that this is totally bullshit, what I'm telling you, which is that masculine men. Healthy masculine men, they want to make you happy. They live to make you happy. Because the masculine is all about giving. The masculine is about providing, the masculine is about protection. This is where they feel good. This is where they feel good as men. The problem is that they need to feel respected, right, in order for you to receive that, um, from them. So when a man feels criticized or controlled, he's gonna shut down. That's what he does. They just totally shut down. So how do you end up communicating in a way that honors the both of you? Because unlike the common misconception, this isn't just about women shutting up and taking it quite the contrary. This is about women learning how to communicate so that they get their needs met while simultaneously their husbands feel like their needs are getting met as well. So here are some feminine communication techniques that every married woman needs. Uh, to know, number one, speak from your feelings, not accusations. Most women are out here complaining all the freaking time. One thing that I've been very mindful of in my marriage is not to complain and always be either, uh, expressing how I'm feeling or how something makes me feel or appreciating him all the time, which I'll get to the appreciation in a second.'cause it's, it's like a superpower and most women just don't do it or they don't do it enough. Um, especially if you've been together for a long time. People tend to forget these things. Um, because, you know, life starts the life, you know, you have kids, you have work, you have aging parents, you have things that you need to figure out. So people just forget to do this stuff. So speak from your feelings, not accusations. So instead of you never listen to me, you can say, Hey, I feel hurt when I don't feel like I'm being hurt. One has emotional, a mastery, one has nervous system regulation. One actually gets the point across and speaks to a man's heart. The other one is just accusatory and he's going to shut down. The next thing, uh, you wanna do is you wanna use pauses and silence. I've said this before, a lot of the, the women I've been working with one-on-one, uh, on feminine energy, they talk too damn much. I understand. I get it. Uh, when I was a sales trainer, it was the same thing, and it was men and women, they just talked to damn much to try and prove their point to the other person to get the sale. Right. Well, the same thing happens with feminine energy and dating, uh, and understanding the dynamics between masculine and feminine energy. So the thing is that when women talk too much, it usually means that. Um, they feel like they need to fill every space with words because it's like a nervous kind of energy that's trying to express itself all the time. So one of the things that we need to learn how to do is shut up, right? Um, be comfortable in the discomfort because in reality, like a lot of women are out here just like already expecting the worst. In a lot of ways when they don't need to do that. Like if you just paused and let your husband respond and, and allow that pause to be there, you would actually learn, uh, quite a lot. And some of you might be very surprised as to how he responds, but because we're already making up all this stuff in our heads and there's a lot of anxious energy and, and control really is what it comes down to at the end of the day, is wanting you feel safe. And the way women, uh, try and feel safe that doesn't work is by having control. As a recovering control freak. I can say a thing or two about that. One of the things that they do is they try and they, they overexpress. They overexplain, they over talk. A lot of women will talk and really not say anything at all. I know women in my life that they talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and it's exhausting. And then at the end of it you're like, what? What was the point of this? Like, there's no point here. Um, so learning to use pauses and silence and also being intentional, uh, when you speak, especially for those of you who are with men who are very driven and are working very hard to provide, like they don't have time, uh, for that a lot in a lot of sense. So it just feels like a lot of overwhelming energy. Um, being thrown at him, and then that doesn't really work. The next thing is you wanna let him finish speaking before you respond. So this comes down to the listening, because interrupting a man feels disrespectful to him. It's just how they are. Okay? I say it all the time. You can fight it or you can accept it. You can be right or you can be happy. And one of the ways in which we can be happy is to understand the differences between men and women. This is one of them. We might communicate with our girlfriends in a way where a girlfriend would not find it disrespectful, but when we talk to our man in the same way, he's gonna find it disrespectful. Right? So it's just one of the differences that, that you need to understand. So even if you're in your mind, you're trying to help him, um, he sees it as an interruption and he's automatically gonna think that an interruption is disrespect. So that's just one of the things to, to be mindful of. And then the other thing you wanna do is you wanna express your desires and ask for what you want rather than. Nitpicking what he's doing wrong. Most women will nitpick at what a man is doing wrong. For example, you may ask him to go to the store to pick up some milk. He comes back, he, he picked the wrong milk. Instead of being like, thank you so much for, you know, going to go find the milk. It feels so good to me. I feel so taken care of. Um. You know, next time can we get this milk? Instead of doing that, most of it would be like, you got the wrong milk. How could you possibly get the wrong milk? We always get the same milk. How could you have forgotten? Do you see the difference in what, what In the communication style? One, he's gonna be inspired to pick the right milk next time, right? The other one, he's just gonna shut down and be like, okay, you go to the store, right? Basically is, uh, what's going to happen? And then you're gonna get frustrated and it's going to continue. Over and over and over again. So ask for what it is that you desire. Not constantly complaining. When I told my husband what I desired from my full success path, I was like, you know what I desire? I desire, um, you know, to. I desire this money to be like investment money, whatever comes in from mindful success path. You know what would feel really good to me? I just desire that this is like investment money. I desire that this is pleasure money. I desire that, you know, I'm able to help all these women avoid a lot of the mistakes that I made. I desire that it creates, you know, passive income. So if we're traveling and stuff like that, like I don't have to be on calls. Doing sales like I used to or just burning out like I used to in my last business because most things are automated. That's what I desire when I express that, right? Guess what a masculine man wants to do? He wants to help you do it. So guess what my husband does? He freaking built all these funnels, uh, for me and he figures out all the tech things behind the scenes. So the only thing that I have to do is show up on these videos or show up on coaching calls or create trainings, and then I'm already, um, starting to. Work toward that desire and that goal. It wasn't because I was like, why don't you do this for me? Why don't you do that? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I was like, this is my desire. This is what I would love to do. And then a masculine man is gonna jump to help you do it. So let's talk about the money.'cause a lot of you're like, how do I inspire him to make more money? Well, instead of saying, why don't you make enough money? You should go get that job. You should do this. And basically like commanding, demanding, and complaining. You could be like, you know what would feel really good to me? If there's enough money coming in this household where we can save for the future, where, um, you know, and I know like you take such good care of us, you do such a really good job. You're such a provider. I appreciate everything that you do. But this would feel really good to me if there was more money coming in. And then we're able to do this's. All you gotta do, but that's not what most women do. Most women just complain. So, and it, and it's a habit, right? And most of us, that's what we saw growing up. So then we're just. Doing the exact same thing we saw when we were growing up, and we have to be very mindful of this. And finally, you wanna learn how to use warmth and softness in your tone. It's not about what you say, it's how you say it. So for those of you who are more interested in the energetics behind this, go to the masculine and feminine Energy Dynamics masterclass, which you can sign up for that below. Okay, next section is all about timing, right? Because the feminine, she knows about timing. She is more in tune with timing. When it's a good time to do things, when it's not so an underrated tip, which I'm surprised more women don't know about. But hey, I didn't know about it either, which is why I'm doing these videos because a lot of us are out here flying blind'cause no one taught us is. Not to bring emotionally charged topics when he's distracted, tired, hungry, or focused on work so you can schedule a time and say, Hey, my love is now a good time for something that's been on my heart? Or if it's not right, they can be like, Hey, my love, I'd like to talk about something. Uh, when is a good time to chat rather than interrupting him. That's feminine leadership. That is feminine influence, that is honoring timing, while also honoring your needs. Um, that's also respecting him because they don't like being interrupted. They will always see it as disrespect, even if you don't mean it to be disrespectful, because that's just how their psychology works. And then boundaries with grace. So a lot of times I get asked, okay, well I'm not happy about this. How do I express it? So feminine communication doesn't mean about being a pushover or taking abuser or, well, if you're in abusive relationship, that's a whole other story. Or like just taking things that are, are not okay. It means setting boundaries without being harsh or combative. So try this, right? You know that that doesn't feel good to me. I'd love to find a way that works for both of us. You're still being really clear, but there's warmth and there's openness. You're not attacking him because when you start attacking him, he will shut. Down. Now, these are all things that I've had to learn over time because I remember there were moments where there was like friction and I didn't understand, for example, like, oh, okay, if I interrupt him, he doesn't like that. Is there something that I'm missing here? Do I need to go like Google something and figure out what's going on? And that's when I discovered this, which is what I'm sharing with you right now. So if a lot of, if any of you are feeling like triggered and you're being like, well, why do I have to change? Why doesn't he change? The reason is because you have a lot more influence over him and your environment than you realize. So when you change, he's gonna start changing. And if he doesn't change, then you have your answer about who it is, um, that you married. I'm never gonna forget this. I'm not suggesting this in any way, shape, or form, but I'm never gonna forget this. I worked with a very well known, um. Life coach, success coach for a while during the the pandemic. We were meeting every day. We're about six months into this program, and he gets into relationships. And he said to all of us, there were maybe like 200 of us on the call and he says to us, Hey, we got to the part of the program where half of you are gonna realize you're married to the wrong person. That scared the crap out of me when I heard that. Um, so,'cause I'm like, can you imagine like half the people here who are married are gonna, are gonna realize that they didn't marry the right person? So that scared the crap outta me, and that's when I started. Uh, learning more about the stuff that I'm teaching, uh, on this channel right now. But it's also why whenever I run into a challenge or I run into friction, instead of being like, oh, you're, you're an idiot. You're this, you're that, and blaming him, I think about, okay, is there a skillset here that I don't know about? Like, is there something that I'm missing that I just don't understand about male psychology? And then I'll go look for it. And lo and behold, most times there's just something that I did not understand. In fact, almost every time. There's just something that I did not understand that I can then improve and then when I improve it, the circumstances, uh, change. So for those of you who've been asking like, how do I change him? It's not about changing him, it's about changing you and he's going, uh, to respond to that change in you. So it's really important that we learn how to have emotional mastery and curiosity. So that whenever we're running into these friction moments in our marriages or in our life in general, we become curious about what we're feeling. We become curious about maybe there's just something we don't know. That's what intelligent people do. That's what emotionally intelligent people do. That's just what intelligent people do, period. The problem going on out here. Aside from the fact that most women don't know what I just said in this video is that we're going around constantly reacting to everything around us, rather than taking moments to pause and be like. Am I missing something here? Is there some something I need to go learn? And that's a, a habit that I've had in my life for over 15 years that, you know, honestly helped me have a lot of success. Uh, before I even met my husband, I was able to have a lot of success because I always approached things from a curious place. If I got emotionally triggered over something, I'd be like, oh, that's curious. What am I feeling right now? Or, why do I feel this way? Like, I wouldn't just accept it. I'd be like, I'd get curious about it. And that's one of the things that I encourage and I invite you to do as well. Uh,'cause I know there's probably a percentage of you who are hearing this and you're like, Uhuh, right? Well then I invite you to get curious because you could be right, or you could be happy. And I would venture to say that you would rather be happy. And for those of you who have even more curiosity, then I encourage you to check out the masculine and feminine energy dynamics masterclass below.'cause it's really gonna help you understand why. Why these things I've been teaching you in this, uh, communication series work so well and not only work well in order for you to get what you want, quote unquote, but work well for creating more peace and stability in your own life. Thank you for giving me your time today. I will catch you on the next one and stay radiant.