First Date Tips That Activate Your Divine Feminine Energy (No More Chasing or Overgiving!)

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Transcript

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If you're a high achieving woman in your thirties and forties and you're totally disappointed by. These lackluster first dates that you keep going on, or you're tired of men pulling away, then this video is your wake up call because you're going to learn first date tips rooted in divine feminine energy, which is the energy that drives men crazy. And what we're going to learn how to do is we're gonna learn how to stop over giving. You're gonna learn how to stay in your power and you're gonna learn how to attract the kind of man that actually shows up, wants to provide, wants to protect, and wants to commit to you. Hi, my name is Amanda. Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to. So if that's something that you're interested in. Make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell. Lately, we've been talking a lot about healthy relationship dynamics, uh, feminine energy, masculine energy, what makes provider men. This is based on my 15 years of experience as a life coach to women in all different areas of their lives, and probably most importantly, I spent about six years. With high performing men as colleagues, where I would go ask them about, Hey, what are you looking for in women? Hey, where are you struggling in dating? And let me tell you, I took a lot of notes and once I understood divine feminine energy and then I combined that with what I learned from these high achieving men, I was around all the time. Well, then I was able to manifest my husband within. For months. So if you're interested in that kind of content, make sure to subscribe, like I said, and as always, I have extra resources for those of you who want to go deeper. I now have. Spots available for private coaching, so you can apply for that below. And then in addition to that, you can find all the master classes and trainings and things in the description and in the first comment. And, if any come to mind while I'm talking, then I'll let you know where you can go deeper on that particular piece of information. So here's the thing, right? We're gonna get started with why first dates feel very draining for high achieving women. So. It it, to be honest, it makes a lot of sense, right? Because at most high achieving women, they've been conditioned to perform, to impress and to lead, especially at work. And then what happens is oftentimes these women, or just women in general, to be honest, don't understand divine feminine energy and they don't understand the psychology of men. And because they don't understand these two concepts, then what do they end up doing? They end up taking that same energy that they're using at work to be extremely successful into their romantic lives. So on dates, it can look like oversharing, overgiving, and overanalyzing, which high achieving women absolutely love to do these three things. The result is that men pull away and you feel rejected, but what's actually happening is an energetic misalignment. So really there's two things that could happen. Thing number one is that healthy men are going to pull away.'cause they're gonna be like, oh, something's off. Because healthy men have a lot of masculine energy and they want to give to a feminine woman. So if you are showing up on dates the same way that you show up at work, you're coming off as masculine. And then healthy masculine men are obviously not attracted to that because when we're looking at polarity and relationships. Opposites really do attract when it comes, uh, to masculine and feminine energy. So that's one scenario. The other scenario that happens is that a lot of times these women will end up with feminized men. So these are the women who usually end up with men who don't do very much, who don't commit, who don't move things forward. Who give them breadcrumbs, who don't want to put labels on things. Um, you know, they're very feminized. They don't act like healthy masculine men. So one of the things that women need to learn how to do is they need to start learning how to bring in divine feminine energy. Into their dating. There's multiple levels to this that I walk women through in my private coaching, and also you can find these levels a deep dive in my high Value Woman Transformation masterclass, which you can find below as well. But we're gonna keep it simple for YouTube, right? And basically, when a woman learns how to be in her divine feminine energy, she's actually magnetic and not forceful. She leads with curiosity, softness, and grounded presence. And she's not proving anything. She's not chasing anything. She's not trying to be light. So a first date tip that you can apply here is you wanna learn how to start focusing on how you feel. In that moment notch on how to impress the guy that you are on a date with. So for example, that might look like, okay, well how do you feel in this restaurant? How do you feel, uh, in conversation? A lot of things that I tell my private coaching clients is I tell them to become social scientists. Uh, which is essentially what I did in two areas of my life. Uh, when I was learning sales, uh, in my previous businesses and things like that. I was learning sales. All sales is, is learning how to communicate with people really at the end of the day to get to a mutual agreement of some kind. Um, so I became a social scientist when I was learning sales and learning sales skills and communication skills. Well, I did the exact same thing in dating. What is that? What I did is I became the social scientist. When I spent, I think it was like six years around these very high performing men. I became a social scientist and I became very curious. So when I'm coaching women one-on-one, that's usually what I tell them to do, especially if they're extremely nervous, which understandably, you are nervous, especially if you haven't had the greatest experiences or you know, you wanna get married and you feel like time is ticking. Like. I understand the feelings of anxiety and discomfort, so that's why I tell a lot of these women, Hey, no pressure. Just be a social scientist. Just observe, observe how you're feeling, um, observe how you feel with the guy. Observe how he behaves. Just, just become the social scientist in this situation and that automatically helps women, uh, calm down because rather than trying to get some sort of a result. They're just very much in the present moment observing what is going on and how they feel. So some of the things that you can do right, is you can let the man initiate plans, and if he doesn't, he's basically already telling you that his energy isn't in pursuit and he may not be the healthiest of men because healthy masculine men, they go after what they want. The next part we're gonna talk about is practical first date tips that are rooted in feminine energy. Feminine energy is a lot of things. And again, in all my trainings I go a lot deeper into this. But here's, here's some places to get started, right? So number one, you can wear something that feels sensual to you, not what you think he wants.'cause a lot of women out here, they will get dressed for their day. Right. And they'll be like, okay, well is he gonna like it? Like girl, you don't even know him yet, right? So how about you just dress for you and something that makes you feel sensual and something that makes you feel good and something that makes your, like feels really good on your skin and you wear your favorite perfume. Speaking of which, I forgot the spritz myself today. So here I go. You wear your. Favorite perfume, um, because it pleases you and it gives you pleasure, not because it may or may not please him. You don't know him yet. Remember, we're in observation mode. Next thing you wanna do is you wanna let him talk more. Now, this is just a good communication skill, period. I learned this in sales and then I just applied it to dating, right? So you wanna ask open questions, then you wanna lean back. And you wanna observe. The key word is always observe. You always wanna be in an observer position, especially in the beginning. Next tip is you wanna stay embodied. What does that mean? It means you get outta your head and you go more into your body. When I work with women who struggle with this, uh, a lot of high performing women, they have so much mental energy all the time, and it comes off as anxiety. And that anxiety looks like. Overtalking, the anxiety looks like overperforming. The anxiety looks like overgiving, the anxiety looks like all the energy is up here and from the neck down, she's dead and doesn't feel anything. So you wanna start practicing how to stay embodied, breathe deeply, feel into your body, notice where you have tension, and actually notice where you feel good, and breathe into that as well. And then finally, do not plan the second date. Don't over text him afterward, um, and let the energy breathe. You have to create space because when you create space, that's when healthy men or start thinking about you. That's when healthy men are like, Ooh, I wonder what she's up to. And a big mistake that a lot of women make. And I've done other videos about this, is that they're too available. Right. And what happens when you're too available? Uh, feminized men are actually 100% going to take advantage of that because it gives off the, the scent that you have low self-esteem. So the feminized men are gonna be like, oh, there's a target for me. But the healthy men, um, are not going to be attracted to it because one of the core drivers for healthy masculine men is challenge. Uh, it's how they grow actually as men. So if you're too available, then they don't see you as a challenge. To overcome. And then what ends up happening is they're not that into you. So that's a huge mistake that a lot of women make is that they will be too available. Either they're over texting, over communicating, planning. The next day he asks you out on Friday for Friday and you say yes. Um, so learning how to become a little bit more inconvenient, uh, will put you in defined feminine energy. And how do you become inconvenient by having a very. Full life. Because what's happening to a lot of high achieving women is you don't have a life outside of work and men. So what you wanna learn how to do is build a life, right. And when you build a life, then naturally you become less available and a little bit more inconvenient, right? You don't have to fake it. You actually just have a life. Then now the next thing you wanna learn how to do is you wanna learn what to avoid. So women who understand divine feminine energy, they don't just understand how to behave, they just, they don't just understand how to communicate. They also know exactly what behaviors to avoid because these behaviors, um. Send red flags, uh, to healthy men. So number one, don't audition. This is not a job interview. I will oftentimes get questions from women in the comment section who will be with a man for many years, and then they're like, do you think he's ever gonna propose to me girl, if he hasn't proposed yet, he's probably not proposing like it's, it takes men three months to figure out whether or not they want to commit to a woman. That doesn't necessarily mean marriage. Of course there's like logistics to all of that. Uh, but my husband by day 90 flew 12 hours to go meet me in person and my whole entire family, because we were living in different countries, um, at the time. But on average, right? It does not take men that long. Um, it takes longer than it takes women. A woman can bond to a man in a night. Right, because a woman, the way women bond is through talking, uh, sex, you will bond to him if you have sex with him too soon. Uh, they bond through spending time together. Well, men, it's a little bit different how they bond and I could do another video on that, but it's gonna take them about two and a half months, uh, to create that bonding. And by month three, they already know whether or not they want to commit to you. So if you're past the 90 day mark and he just keeps kicking the can down the road. Mm-hmm. Girl, move on. Move on. Right? And what happens to a lot of women who don't know that is they end up putting themselves in the audition position, right? So they're like overgiving overdoing over available because they're like, oh, I like him. Let me show him that I like him. Um, and then it ends up having the opposite effect because the way that it shows up to a man is that you don't value yourself very much because they'll process it totally differently. Um. Then we do. The next thing is you don't want to trauma dump or overshare to build connection. This is how women build connection with each other. This is not how you build connection with a man that you are on a first date with. Right. Connection to a man comes through presence, not through stories. Connection to a man comes, um, from connecting with his heart, not just connecting with his head, and again. Um, specifically in feminine magnetism mastery, that's where I go a lot deeper into this particular subject, which you can grab below for$27. And then finally,'cause a lot of women will do this too, right? You don't want to ignore red flags just because the chemistry is strong, okay? So divine feminine energy does not just make decisions based off of chemistry because she understands that oftentimes chemistry is just that. It fades. What she does make decisions on is based on discernment. Do we have the same values? Is he good for me? Can we, you know, create X, y, and Z long term together? Is he behaving in a healthy, masculine way? That's what define divine feminine energy Women. Pay attention to, and that's what they use as their lens of discernment when they are choosing which kind of men, uh, to be with. It's really interesting because I've noticed that with every other area of our lives. Um, you know, especially high achieving women, every other area of her life, she will use discernment, right? If she's buying a house, she's gonna go through all the paperwork. Uh, what does it look like? Is the paperwork clean? Who owns it? And we're in Mexico right now. And sometimes we, we know a lot of real estate people in Mexico and you have to go through a pretty thorough vetting process. Uh, in Mexico, it's a bit of a different system than the US and Canada for buying a house. I mean, it is a thorough process to even make sure that the person selling the house has the right to sell the house. Right. So I'm serious, right? It's very different when you start learning how real estate works. Um. In different countries, but it's the same thing in the United States. You go through a a vetting process before you buy the house, you do the inspection, you make sure everything's okay. Is the paperwork good? Are there any liens against the house? All that kind of stuff. Um, in your career, high achieving women have been very intentional, usually about their careers. You know, they make a plan, they stick to the plan, they research, they study. Uplevel their skills. They use discernment when choosing what kind of a career they wanna get into. But for some reason when it comes to men and dating, they don't use the same level of discernment. Why? Because a lot of us have not been taught. A lot of us have, in the West in particular, we've been told that relationships is what we saw on tv, but we saw in Disney movies. Like I said, I'm living in Mexico right now. I'm Latina. Right. And what do we learn in Latin America? What are novellas dramatic as hell. That's what novellas are. Um, so in the West, over like on this like United States, Europe and I, Latin America is debatable whether or not it's considered Western. There's debate about that among people who, who specialize in international relations. But I can just tell you from being Latina, even though it's different in Latin America culturally than. The United States or Europe or Canada or a lot of the traditionally Western countries, one thing that they have in common with Western countries is, uh, relationships are dramatic. The reason relationships are dramatic in Latin America is because of these Fri novellas that all our grandparents were watching when we were little, and then we ended up seeing all of them. Um, as well, right? So if you're getting raised by tv, if you're getting raised by soap operas and whatever language they're in, if you're getting raised by sex in the city, if you're getting raised by friends, um, if you're getting raised by Will and Grace, who is, all these shows are hysterical, by the way. They're great shows, but they're not meant to be relationship advice. And then in addition to that, in the United States specifically, um, I mean we've been breaking up family bonds in the United States for like a hundred years. Um, for a lot of reasons, industrialization to World Wars, feminism. I mean, there's just been so much that has gone on in the United States in the last a hundred years or so that has really disconnected families and not just families, but kind of like, uh, people's social networks have been systematically destroyed over the last a hundred years or so. In the United States. So then you're not really getting, um, healthy examples at home either. The women in your life aren't telling you this. Usually the women in your life in the United States are telling you that you know, you have to have your own money. Men are trash. You can't rely on them and. There's lots of historical reasons as to how we got there in the United States that I don't have time to get into right now. But it's been going on for, we've been moving in this direction for about a hundred years. Uh, it's really fascinating and that's actually one of the differences between the United States and Latin America, is that in Latin America, the family bonds are tight, the social bonds are tight, the personal bonds are tight. Um, and, and. That makes a huge difference, uh, when you're raising kids, when you are trying to create healthy bonds among people when you're building community, it makes a huge difference. That is something that in the United States we started losing, and the West in general, we started losing. A hundred or so years ago. So that's an so imagine, right? Most women think that chemistry is what makes a good relationship because that's what TV told them. That's what movies told them. And then for generations, we haven't necessarily seen the, uh, healthiest examples, uh, in the west again for many, many. Reasons. So a woman who operates from divine feminine energy, she uses discernment based on her values, where she's trying to go in life. Can he make a good father? Is he a good provider? Is he. Um, in his own healthy masculine energy, how does he treat me? How does he treat other people? It's not about chemistry, and a lot of women will be like, oh, but I need to be physically attracted to him. Trust me, when you learn how to be physically attracted to healthy men, you're not gonna have a problem being, uh, physically attracted to him. What happens with a lot of women is because they haven't done this kind of work, what happens is that they're actually physically attracted to men who are bad for them. Oftentimes because of the chemistry, or sometimes chemistry is really just trauma. Bonding is part of what's going on. But when women learn to behave in a healthy way themselves, they start becoming attracted to healthier men. So to a lot of the women are like, oh yeah, that's great. But what if I'm not, what if I'm not physically attracted him to him? Trust me, one of the sexiest things my husband does is when he sends me a text message and he's like, Hey, I just put money in your investment account. Okay. One of the sexiest things the man does. And the thing is that most women, because they don't understand polarity in relationships and they don't understand the psychology between men and women, uh, they may not be attracted to that. It's quite the opposite. They might feel guilty if a man is doing that, and that's usually a. Sign that she's really not in her, uh, divine feminine energy. Right. But the key point that I'm trying to make here is most of us. Have not been taught what makes healthy relationships or the psychology between the sexes. Um, it's a mess out there right now on the internet in dating apps, in the dating world, in the west in general, and we have women have to learn what makes a healthy woman. And what makes a healthy woman is a woman who understands and embodies divine feminine energy. And then she's going to start making decisions about partners from a totally different place. Those are your first date tips when it comes to divine feminine energy. The main thing to keep in mind here is that you do not need to perform in order to be chosen because most high achieving women think they have to perform the same way that they perform at work or the same way that they perform. In order to make money, you really just need to be, and I understand that that can be very confusing if this is the first time you're coming about this or your relationships have been wonky, or maybe you were like, I was where I was studying this stuff on the side for years, but it wasn't until I really got in there and started. Experimenting and became that social scientist that it finally started to click. So for those of you who want to go deeper, because I didn't really have the chance to do it in a 20 minute video on YouTube, the best place for you to get started is Feminine Magnetism Mastery Program, because in that program, which you can get from only$27, by the way, we cover the different phases of building a relationship. We talk about the process from first date to commitment from a man. We talk about communication. We talk about a lot of the mistakes. That women make when it comes to dating.'cause this was the tip of the iceberg. In this video, there's a lot more, and we talk about how to really embody this divine. Feminine energy, and again, this is based on my 15 years of experience in coaching women in different areas of their lives. Spending six years around high performing men and learning from them about what they were looking for and manifesting my husband in four months'cause it does not take that long. For a man to commit to you. And once you join us in that program, you're gonna understand all the details of the psychology behind that, the psychology behind commitment for a man and so much more. So you can grab it for$27 below. Thank you so much for giving me your time today. Make sure to share this with a sister so that she doesn't end up wasting her time with a bunch of dudes who don't wanna commit to her. If you liked it, subscribe and hit the notification bell and I will catch you on the next one.