Why Provider Men Don't Want Independent Women

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WHAT TO WATCH NEXT:

Why Women Need Provider Men

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4HtxELsQlg&list=PL2RZXKe4KrQI0pQN4CQhyfgFhMQj0gaC0&index=2

How I Manifested My Husband By Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsyS86ZefQg&list=PL2RZXKe4KrQI0pQN4CQhyfgFhMQj0gaC0&index=4

What Masculine Energy Looks Like In a Woman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ern54mBnm2w&list=PL2RZXKe4KrQI0pQN4CQhyfgFhMQj0gaC0&index=8 

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Transcript

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If you're a high achieving woman who's really struggling in the dating world right now, I'm about to tell you the shocking truth about why your success might actually be sabotaging your love life, and contrary to popular belief, this is not about dumbing yourself down or becoming less successful. It's simply about understanding male psychology and how masculine energy works and how the male brain actually works.'cause the truth is. You're an amazing, accomplished woman, and you deserve a man who provides for you and protects you. You deserve a man who's gonna provide for you, so then you can go make money for fun, and that's when you're really gonna start making some serious money. And today I'm gonna show you how to keep your success and attract generous, providing men. Hi, my name is Amanda. Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama. That most people are accustomed to. Lately, we've been talking a lot about relationship dynamics based on my 15 years of experience coaching women in different areas of their lives. My six years of experience being around high performing and very successful masculine men and asking them what they were struggling with in the dating world and then combining. All of that to manifest. My protector provider has been within four months after being single for like 10 years because I too was one of the high achieving successful, very independent women who struggled in dating. So if that's something that you are interested in, make sure to subscribe and hit the notification, but also you don't miss a single video. That we have coming out on this channel and make sure to give it a thumbs up because that actually tells YouTube to put it in front of more women. There's so much confusion out here in the dating world, and I recently did a video on how it's just been a hot mess for decades, and we basically have the crumbs of a society at this point when it comes to dating. In the Western world, and if we go back to understanding the psychology of how these things work and masculine energy and feminine energy and stuff that's been around for thousands of years, we can really start repairing society because let's be real, gen Z is really struggling right now because they're getting the brunt of a crumbling society. And if we can start becoming healthier ourselves and we can start becoming healthier in our relationships, then we can start having a better society and we can have a better world for future generations. And you can help us with that mission by just giving it a thumbs up. It's free. You might as well just do it. And as always, uh, if I have extra resources where you can dive deeper into this content, I will mention it throughout the video. And for those of you who've been asking about working with me privately as your coach, you can apply for that using the link below. So let's get into it. Here's what you're going to learn today. You're going to learn why provider men seem intimidated by your success. I say seem because they're not actually intimidated by your success, but it might look like it. You're gonna learn the real reason behind this dynamic. You're gonna learn how to be successful and attractive to providers, and you're gonna learn the energy shift that changes everything. And I say this because. Um, I was very successful. I had a multiple six on my way to a seven figure business before I met my husband. Um, and he had a multi six figure business of his own, and he does not expect me to pay for a single bill even though I can make a lot of money. Um, and I love that part about myself, about being able to make a lot of money in my career. Now I do this for fun and it happens to make money, which is cool. I love that. Um, but I had to learn, uh, before I met my husband, I had to spend six years around high performing successful men because of the career that I was in. I was around them a lot of the time. I had a lot of mentors who were men, and I started learning a lot of this stuff. From the men themselves. And I always tell PE women, uh, and men, if you're single right, go get friends of the opposite sex and start asking them how they see the world because you're gonna learn a lot. Because that's how I was able to really learn, um, and understand these things and now give that to you because I really had to understand, you know, why these successful and ambitious men that I was around in my career. Uh, we're struggling in dating, uh, because they're struggling too. Like they're trying to find the healthy, divine, feminine energy women. But it's like you guys keep missing each other, which is one of the reasons why I started this YouTube channel. So here's the problem, right? Here's what successful women are experiencing their dating struggles look like. Men who expect you to pay for everything or go 50 50 guys who want you to be their sugar mama. Guys who want you to bet on their potential, like y'all are in your forties and this man still doesn't know where he's going in life and he expects you to pay for shit. That's one of them, uh, partners who compete with your success. Sometimes there's that competitive energy that gets triggered. Men who feel emasculated by your achievements and common patterns look like always splitting bills 50 50 being the planner and the organizer and the pursuer. In relationships, attracting men who want to be taken care of, which is, if you saw my last video, uh, I explained how men even got here and how women got here. Really fascinating watch if you have the time to watch that one. Um, but there's a reason why now we have a bunch of men who feel like they're the ones who need to be taken care of and why. We have a lot of women who are hyper independent. I'm starting to think it's been by design, if I'm being honest. And the whole gender war is totally. By design, which is again, another one of the reasons why you need to subscribe. Hit that notification bell, hit the like button and share this with a friend, because I do not believe that men and women need to be at war with each other. We just need to learn how to relate to each other. And then finally, it might look like feeling like you have to downplay, uh, your success. So the confusion lies in what society says. Versus what you actually want. So what society says is, independent women don't need men. In fact, society has pushed women into being independent, uh, for the last hundred or so years. And again, you can catch my last video to see the breakdown of how that happened, but you've been pushed into being more independent than you should be. And what you actually want is a successful man who still wants to provide for you. And protect you, insist, I promise you they exist. The disconnect right is your independence or your hyper independence really signals that you do not need or want his provision or his protection. So the result is that provider men pursue women who seem more receptive to their masculine energy. It's why you could have a woman who looks good, she's super successful, and she's really struggling in dating, and then the wealthy guy will go marry the waitress. Like that's why that happens. So here's the psychology behind it, right? Number one, you have to actually understand provider men and what drives them. And not just provider men, but healthy men because healthy men are providers. Um, now there's also unhealthy men who pretend to be providers, but that's a conversation for. For another time. Let me know in the comments if you want me to do a video on that. We're, we're assuming the men are healthy in this case, in which case providing is just, it is just basic. Like you're not asking for a lot, okay? You're asking for the basics if you want a man to be a provider. So here's one of the a man's core drives. They want to feel needed, valued, and successful. That's what they want. They want to give to you. Why? Because for thousands of years a man's security and status and survival basically depended on his ability to provide right? His status still has a lot to do with his ability to provide in this day and age Now. Masculine identity is tied to their ability to provide, protect and solve problems, right? Because again, it goes back to those core drivers and the thousands of years of programming. And if you got my Feminine and Magnetism mastery program, I go really deep into what the three core drivers are, um, and how that affects the male brain. So make sure to grab that,'cause I don't have time to get into that right now. Now, the reason why this creates a trigger of attraction. So it creates the attraction and the polarity is because women who can receive and appreciate a man's efforts are going to trigger his commitment to her. That's how this works. The turnoff is women who don't seem to need or want what they offer, and you wanna know what another turnoff is. Women who feel guilty when they're receiving from a man, I'm just gonna throw that in there. Now, the independence paradox is as follows, right? Your success. Although amazing and wonderful, uh, and there's nothing wrong with it. The the problem is when it starts signaling, I don't need anyone, or I can handle everything myself, or I don't require provision or protection, or I need to make my own money because I can't trust men. That's another way in which that shows up. And what happens is what provider men hear is she doesn't need me. I can't add value to her life. She won't appreciate my efforts. Why bother? That's what they hear in their heads. That's what's going on through their brains. So the misunderstanding is that a healthy man is going to think that you do not want his masculine energy because you're presenting in a way where you. You don't want it. You say that you don't need it. Now there's a difference between energy versus circumstances, so let's get into that. This isn't actually about money because even wealthy women can embody receptive energy. Even women who are bosses at work and who make a lot of money and can make a lot of money, me being one of them, I can make a lot of money. I still know how to embody receptive energy with my husband, who is a masculine man. It's just a matter of learning the dance and that dance has a lot to do with your energy, and that energy has a lot to do with how you show up and what you communicate. And again, the feminine magnetism mastery, which you can grab for$27 is gonna go a lot deeper into the stuff I've been talking about in the videos today. Now the solution. Right, is learning how to maintain success while embodying feminine receptivity, and there's lots of ways to do that. So let's go through the mindset shifts, and if you want the tactical stuff, then make sure to grab the feminine magnetism mastery. Mindset shift number one is redefining independence. So the old definition of independence is, I don't need anyone for anything. I can't trust man. I can't trust a man. That's the one I grew up with. Right. And that's the one that a lot of women have grown up with because for the last hundred years, that's what Western Society has been telling you. A lot of people think it started with feminism. It started way before feminism even came onto the scene because of just unfortunate situations that the world was in and people needing to survive. Now the new definition is, I'm capable and successful and I value partnership. It's about interdependence at that point, not independence. Now the difference is basically the difference between being capable and being closed off. So the example is, I can pay for dinner, but I love a man who wants to treat me. I can pay for dinner, but I love it when a man takes control. Stuff like that. And when you really think about it, that's super sexy to you as a high achieving woman because as a high achieving woman, I, I have a lot of high achieving women who tell me this, um, where they're at least clear about the fact that they don't wanna end up with passive men. Uh, they do not wanna end up in relationships with men who are lazy and passive and not doing anything. Um, they're very clear that if they're going to get with a man, he needs to be more ambitious than her. But in order for you as a high achieving woman who is ambitious to pull in. A man who's more ambitious than you. You need to learn how to let go of the little miss independent thing. And you need to learn how to get into feminine energy, which to your mind is gonna be like how in the actual F, like it's gonna seem like a little bit of a mind fuck at first until you really start learning about these things and going deeper into it. Maybe getting coaching, maybe getting trainings, but really starting to understand these things and then practicing them out in the real world and seeing how men respond to you. Mindset shift number two. Is success as a feminine power. So you wanna reframe your achievements, right? Your success makes you more valuable, not less feminine. And I had an interesting question coming into the YouTube comments where someone was saying that, you know, what do you mean? Because I've said this before, like you high successful, high achieving women, like you're gonna have to let go of your achievements, right? Like, you're gonna have to realize that it doesn't mean that much. Uh, to a man. And sometimes women don't understand that.'cause they'll be like, I'm the first one in my family to go to college. I'm a physician, I'm a lawyer, I'm an engineer. I'm this, I'm not saying that it's bad that you have achievements. What's bad is when you make your achievements, your entire identity. And that applies whether you in romantic relationships and outside of your romantic relationships as well. Because if your entire identity is tied to your achievements, number one, you're gonna attract feminized men. Not healthy med. And number two, your entire life is gonna be an emotional rollercoaster because achievements come and go. Right? So you could be on a high of achievements and you feel good, but then something happens and you have a failure and you're down in the dumps, right? And you're not functioning. So that's one of the reasons why you don't wanna make everything about your achievements. So I hope that gave clarity for those of you who've been asking about that. But basically, your achievements have nothing to do with whether or not he is actually attracted to you. And that's one of the things that you need to understand because men who are providers, they're not expecting you to pay bills, right? Men who are providers and protectors, they're not. They don't care because they're not expecting you to have to struggle. So that's the thing that you really have to understand about that. So let's get to the next point, right? Confidence is attractive. Now, successful women who own their worth is actually extremely magnetic to a man, right? So he's not intimidated by your success. It's more about. Whether or not there's room and space for him, and quality attracts quality. So high achieving women deserve high achieving men. And actually, if you look at statistics like people who, women who are college educated and women, um, who have successful careers, they tend to do well in marriages. But it's when they understand these particular concepts, they do better in marriages than women who are not educated. For example, right now, what did those women do? Well? Well, they probably learned how to do a lot of these things so that they could actually be in a relationship, uh, where there is a lot of polarity and there is a lot of the things that you need in order to make long-term relationships work. And the truth is that real provider men. Want successful women who can still receive, which is what I've been saying this whole time. And the problem is that a lot of you feel very guilty, receiving. That's the number one issue that I have noticed since I started this YouTube channel and coaching you guys is the ability to receive, there's an injured feminine instant there. And I've done other videos as to why it's become difficult for women to receive. So you can go check those out, um, on the. Videos page, you can just go find it. The next mindset shift is receiving is strength, right? So the old belief is receiving makes you weak or dependent. A lot of you have brought this up in the comments section. The truth is that receiving allows him to feel masculine and successful, and his identity is tied to him being able to be masculine and successful. Now, the power is you choose to receive because you're secure, not because you are needy. Women who are secure, uh, and confident in their attachment, they have absolutely zero issue receiving from the men and honestly, the people. Around them. Zero issue women who are anxiously attached and they're insecure in their attachment style. They're usually the over givers and the over performers and the ones who are not very good at receiving. Right. So it's actually the opposite of what you think. The strong, secure ones are actually really, really good at the receiving and the needy ones are the ones who start overgiving and overperforming. And the example here would be gracefully accepting his offer to pay, shows confidence, not. Weakness. Okay. I know that some of you feel very guilty when a man wants to pay for things and then you wanna split it 50 50. Or he wants to solve a problem for you and you feel like a burden. You are not a burden to a masculine man. He wants to give to you. It's what he lives for, and you have to understand that and what you give back to him, number one, is completely intangible, but number two will change his whole freaking life. And a masculine man knows. Stat. Now, here are some of the practical strategies, and again, if you wanna go really deep into what these strategies are and what they look like, get the Feminine Magnetism Mastery Program because it'll walk you through first date, all the way through commitment and the psychology of each stage. How to communicate at each stage, what should be happening at each stage, and it goes deeper into some of these practical things that I'm gonna be talking about today. So strategy number one is leading with feminine energy. In dating, you can be the boss at work. You can make decisions, you can solve problems, but on dates, you gotta learn how to be more in that feminine energy. And you gotta learn how to switch from one to the other, which in the Feminine Magnetism Mastery Program, there's a whole exercise there that teaches you how to do it. The second strategy is sharing your success, but from feminine energy. So instead of saying, I make six figures and I own my own company, because they literally don't give a shit because they're not expecting you to pay any bills, right? You can try saying, I'm passionate about building something meaningful. Now the difference is the first one is a. Fact. Right? And it's, it's masculine communication. The second one has to do with feelings and values. Masculine men are attracted to women who speak from a place of feelings and values. That's the difference. And the third strategy. Is creating space for his provision, right? So don't rush to pay the bill and split everything. Pause and let him offer first, and then you're going to thank him and you're gonna do it without guilt. Now, you might feel guilty at first, right? But once you get really good at that receiving muscle, you feel less and less and less guilty. And I'm gonna be honest about something. My husband gives so much to me that there are some days where I feel like a little, a little feeling of guilt sometimes. You don't wanna know what I do. I notice that. Right. I breathe into it. I remind myself about the psychology of men. I receive it grace, gracefully, and then I learn to receive more and I expand the capacity to receive. And then the final strategy is to ask for his input. I did this all the time with my husband. I still do this all the time with my husband. So if you have career decisions, right, you can say something like, I'd love your perspective on this opportunity, if there's daily challenges in your life, which we all have them. What do you think I should do about this is something you can say, and the effect there is that it makes him feel value and needed. And what do men healthy men need? They need to feel. Valued and needed. Now, here's what a successful and feminine woman looks like. Her professional life, she looks like a confident leader at work. She makes important decisions. She's financially independent, she's respected in her field, all of which is amazing. In her dating life, in her romantic life and in her married life, she doesn't wanna do be the masculine. She hates being the masculine in her dating life. And I would venture to say that a lot of feminine energy women, we don't even like being the CEOs of business. So, right. I was the CEO of a multi-six, nearly seven figure business while I was single. And in retrospect I'm like, yeah, I kind of hated that. Now I have this right. And my husband does more of the cing, uh, to put it that way. And I'm like, oh, thank God. Because I get to do the things that are fun for me and I get to do the creative thing or the thing that, uh, is connection and I get to make money. For fun, right? So I just wanted to put that out there because some of you might actually fit into that category, um, as well. But in your dating life, your marriage life and your personal life, um, you let him plan and pay for the dates. You appreciate his efforts and his generosity, you share your vulnerabilities. There is a specific way of doing that so you don't go overboard. So make sure to get the Feminine Magnetism Mastery program below'cause it'll teach you how to do it. You learn how to ask for support and you receive his masculine energy gracefully. That's what it looks like. I mean, it looks like you know how to do the dance and you know how to shift from one energy to the other. Now the result is that healthy masculine men who are provider men, they think, wow, she's successful and she appreciates what I bring. I mean, you just went from being basic to being like, whoa. Right? Because the thing is that if you're successful and you can take care of yourself, and in addition to that. You can appreciate what he brings, your value just shot through the roof, probably more than a woman who doesn't have crap. Now the reason being right is'cause he knows you're not a dummy right now. Obviously, if you're a high achieving and successful, he's gonna be like, wow, I'm gonna get a feminine energy woman. And she's smart as hell to Boch, and she's super smart and she's intelligent. That's really valuable to a masculine. Energy man. The problem is when women only focus on the achievements, then they would rather go for a woman who has like zero achievements, but at least receives his masculine energy. That's the key here. But if you know how to be successful and receive his masculine energy, you have entered like a new matrix of women. You have entered a new level. You have entered a new percentile of women. If you are able to learn how to do that, because most women don't know how to do that dance. They're one or the other. Now the other result is that they feel needed, valued, and masculine around you, which they need all those things in order to be able to commit to you, okay? And what they want is to provide for and protect such a high value woman. You are a major prize. At that point, and he's gonna do what it takes in order to get you and make sure that he can continue protecting and providing for you. And what you get is a successful man who loves to take care of you. I know many women in my orbit and in my sphere who, for example, have successful businesses. They know how to do it, but um, the men that they're with don't expect them to pay any bills. The men that they're with are covering all the bills. The men that they're with are healthy, masculine provider men. The men that they're with are super ambitious and they love that his wife is doing something that she loves. They love that his wife is able to make money doing what she loves to do, but they're not expecting her to pay any bills. I know several women in that situation, but again, you have to get to this. Percentile that most women have no idea how to even get into. And if you wanna learn how to do that, make sure to check out my Feminine Magnetism Mastery program. Because the women who are able to get into that percentile, here's what changes. The old approach is that they used to insist on paying for everything. They never asked for help. A lot of them ended up marrying men who were bill bears, and then they had to divorce that man, and then that's when they got into this. Fear. Um, I, that was me. I thought we had to go 50. I didn't marry anybody, but I thought I had to go 50 50. I never asked for help. I was hyper independent. I had to make my own money.'cause men can't be trusted and they're dangerous, that whole thing. Well, you learn how to overcome that and instead you go into the new approach. Which is gracefully receiving provision from a man and asking for his input. Because healthy men are not going to tell you, Hey, you need to stop working. Healthy men want you to do whatever the hell makes you happy. And if working makes you happy, and if making money makes you happy and having a mission or something that gives back to the community, makes you happy, then they're happy. Right? They're not trying to control you. Um, in terms of you're not allowed to work, like I've heard. Some other men try to do that's not a healthy man. They want you to do whatever makes you happy because whatever makes you happy is what makes. Them happy. And while you're doing that, he's gonna keep providing and protecting for you because that's what makes him feel good as a man in a healthy, masculine man's mind. It has nothing to do with being intimidated by you. He's not intimidated by you at all. He's got his own, he's ambitious, he's confident. He can bring in the money. He can be successful. It's more about him being able to feel like a man and then you being in a space where you're just in pleasure and you are happy because that's what makes them happy. That's the difference and the result when you understand that. Is you getting in my case, right? I got engaged to a successful entrepreneur who loves providing for me. In the case of many of my colleagues and friends, same thing. They end up with men who pay all the bills, who are very masculine, who treat them like queens, who open the doors, who make sure everything is good and the house is protected, who do everything that Amanda is supposed to do, and she's out there. You don't wanna know what making more money. Than she was making before because now she's making money for fun and she's doing, making money from a place of pleasure, and that is super magnetic. Once a woman gets. To that space. So not only can she continue making money, she's probably gonna end up making more money because now she's doing it for fun because she's not worried about bills while her man still feels like a man and has the masculine pull in the relationship, and she has the feminine pull in the relationship and she can feel like a soft. Beautiful woman who gets the devotion of a man. That's what we all want. Right? And that's kind of what it looks like in modern times. And someone had brought this up in the comment section. Because this is another great way of doing it. What a lot of people don't realize is that there's women who can make money from very feminine arts to put it that way. Maybe it's coaching, maybe it's counseling, um, maybe it's, uh, crafts, maybe. It's, it's, it's things that are more considered the realm of the feminine, right? And they can make money doing those things. And oftentimes what they need is a provider, masculine man to cover all the survival things so she can pursue, uh, the feminine arts, let's put it that way. And then she makes money in that way. That's another way of doing it. I didn't get into this space, right? The energetics, all that kind of stuff, which is more feminine. In nature, if we're being honest, until I married a man who was a provider and was taking care of all the survival stuff, because that made it easier for me to pursue this for fun and to do more of the feminine arts. Whereas before, I was still more focused, um, on survival, making sure bills were paid, employees were trained, all this kind of stuff, right? So there was a lot more responsibility on me. Before, and it's not that women can't handle responsibility, it's that the realm of the masculine, like to be masculine is literally to take on responsibility. And that's part of what makes them feel like men. So that's another way, uh, in which this has come up, where there's women who make money in more of the feminine realm of industries, to put it that way. And then they need provider men so that they can go actually pursue that. And a lot of these provider men, my husband included, end up giving a lot of structure, um, to the more naturally feminine women because that's, to be honest, that's what we need. We need structure. When it comes to running, uh, businesses. So I hope this gave it a lot more clarity. If you guys want me to do a video on managing money, uh, when you guys are both high performers, how to have money conversations when you guys are both high performers, let me know in the comments'cause I did spend quite a lot of time, uh, coaching women on finance and career. So I definitely have a lot to say on that topic. Just let me know in the comments and then if you wanna go deeper into the stuff that I talked about today. Make sure to check out the Feminine Magnetism Mastery class. It's only 27 bucks and it's like three or four hours I think, of training. Everything from first date all the way through to commitment, feminine energy, how to communicate what's happening at each stage, and so much more. Just go click on the page and you can see everything that is on it, and you get immediate access as soon as you purchase it. For those of you who are asking about one-on-one coaching, I do have some spots available, so the application is also below for that. Some of you have been asking very specific questions that I can't really do YouTube videos about because I have zero context. And when I know about your specific situation, then I'm able to help better. So make sure to fill out that application below. And with that being said, thank you so much for giving me your time today. Make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell if you haven't done so already. And please make sure to give this a like and a thumbs up because as I said. Uh, Western Society in particular is really struggling in the relationship department right now, which is causing so much mess, just so, so much mess. Um, the kids right now are really struggling because they're. They're byproducts, um, of this mess. And I fervently believe, like I said in the beginning, if we heal ourselves and we can heal our relationships, our romantic relationships, we create a better society, we create a better world for future generations, and we can really start repairing a lot of the issues that Western Society has been dealing with for the last. At least a hundred years. So give it a thumbs up'cause that's one of the ways that you can help us with this mission. Thank you so much for giving me your time today, and I'll catch you on the next one.