First Date Tips: How to Be Mysterious Without Playing Games

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Transcript

0:32

One of the biggest mistakes that women make when they're dating is they talk too damn much and they don't know how to be mysterious. They oftentimes, mistake being mysterious with being cold or withholding information, or playing games or being manipulative. But the reality is that if you don't learn how to be mysterious. Then what ends up happening is that men disengage. So in this video, I'm gonna be showing you how to create healthy intrigue that makes him want to see you again and again and again because this is a difference between women who get successful second dates and eventually commitment. Versus those who get ghosted. Hi, my name is Amanda. Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to. So if that's something that you're interested in, make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video that we have coming out on this channel. Lately, we've been talking a lot about relationships. It's been the most highly requested topic on this channel, so make sure to subscribe, hit the notification bell. Uh, and if you like it, please make sure to give it a like, because it helps us get it in front of more people. There's so much confusion out here on these internet streets about what our healthy relationship dynamics and what are not, so you can help us get it in front of more people and honestly, help heal the collective consciousness by giving it. I like, and as always, I'm gonna have extra resources for those of you who want to go deeper. I will mention them throughout the video. The number one place you can start, for those of you who want private coaching and for me to look at your situation specifically and help you with your strategy specifically, is to apply for one-on-one coaching. I have very limited spots available because of upcoming travel and things like that. Uh, so they are very limited. It's first come, first serve. You can apply for that. Uh, below. So here's what we're gonna cover in this video. You're gonna learn the difference between mystery and manipulation. You're going to learn the five ways to create healthy intrigue. You're gonna learn what to share versus what to keep private. And you're gonna learn conversation techniques that build attraction. So here's what mystery is not. Mystery is not game playing and it's not being manipulative. I know a lot of women out here are honestly taught to be extremely manipulative in order to extract from men. That is not what we're talking about here. So it's not being called, it's not giving one word answers or acting disinterested. It's not faking the fact that you don't have any interest. In fact, it's quite the opposite. You have to learn how to be curious about the other person. It's not about withholding basic information, so refusing to share normal. Details about yourself when you're meeting someone for the first time. It's not about playing hard to get, it's not about creating drama and chaos. Healthy men hate drama and chaos, and it's not about being totally unavailable, right? So a lot of times people get confused'cause they're like, oh my gosh, but like you tell me not to be. Two available. So then a lot of times what women will do is they'll go to the other extreme where they're completely unavailable because human beings love to go to extremes. And when we're healthy and when we're emotionally regulated, usually the, the thing that works is somewhere in the middle. So here's why the game playing totally backfires. It creates anxiety, it builds walls, it attracts the wrong men. That's the most important thing here because players, right, and people who wanna take advantage of you, they love the chase, but not the commitment. So that's what it's gonna attract and it feels. Totally inauthentic. You don't feel like yourself, and that's why so many of you complain about it, right? Because you're confusing being mysterious and being strategic with your vulnerability, which is just the smart thing to do with being manipulative. So then instead of learning how to communicate mystery and learning how to be vulnerable when it's appropriate, y'all jump to the other extreme and become chatty Cathys, and they kill attraction, right? So. How do we get in the middle? What makes the healthy mystery? So the true definition of mystery is depth over surface is quality over quantity. It's intrigue through interest, and it's about being a authentically alluring, right? So it's having layers that he's gonna wanna discover. It's about sharing the meaningful things, but sharing them gradually. Not all at once. It's about being genuinely fascinating. You are an interesting person. Uh, I recently did a video where I said, people need to learn how to be interesting and interest. So this is the part about being interesting as a person, and it's about natural magnetism through feminine energy. And the psychology behind this is that it creates a curiosity gap because humans are wired to want to fill in the missing information. It also, uh, creates an investment principle with men, right? Because we value what we work toward, especially healthy masculine men. They want to know that they actually achieved something. And then in addition to that, um, it's a little bit of a dopamine response too, because the brain rewards the pursuit of knowledge and then it's also creates feminine magnetism because mystery is a naturally. Feminine and attractive. And when you have healthy mystery, it creates anticipation because he looks forward to learning more about you. He gets curious about you. He becomes very interested in you. It also creates investment because he puts effort into understanding and pursuing you. It activates his desire to pursue you. It creates respect because he values your depth and complexity, and it creates attraction because he's gonna be magnetically. Pull to you. So here's how to create healthy mystery, right? Number one, share stories, not facts. I went into this on a recent video where I talked about the flow formula and how to have conversations in first dates, and one of the things is about rather than being very factual in how it is that you describe your job, for example, you can talk about why you love your job or why you got into. That field. And what it does is that it gives him, um, the feeling of meaning, not just data, because men don't become attracted to you when you just give them data and logic. They become attracted to you when they feel something. The other thing you wanna do is use like something called the 70 30 rule. So share 70% right? Give him enough to understand and connect because you don't wanna stonewall him. Either, but keep 30% to yourself, right? So leave room for curiosity and future discovery. So for example, you can share your passion for travel, but maybe save your specific destinations of where you wanna travel to for later. And that creates a lot of balance. So it's enough to build connection. But not enough to satisfy all curiosity. You also wanna learn how to ask intriguing questions. So this is the part where we move from, we ourselves are an interesting person to, we are now interested in the other person, and you have to know how to do both, in both dating and sales, for those of you who are in sales, right? So a surface level question would be, what do you do for work? You're like interviewing him or interrogating him, and they don't like that. A mysterious question would be, what makes you lose track of time? What do you love so much that you just get so into it and before you know it, it's the evening and you've totally lost track of time? Things like that. Basic would be, do you have hobbies? Again, that interrogation intriguing would be what's something that you're passionate about that might surprise me. Do you see the difference between like being very logical but then actually being interested and curious about the other person and asking more than just surface level questions? So. The next one is sharing your inner world gradually. So a lot of women, unfortunately, will go on dates and they're sharing way too much, right? Um, they're sharing about their trauma. Sometimes they'll move to another country and they'll be like, I'm here'cause I have a horrible relationship with my dad, blah, blah, blah. Like, they just. They just are word vomiting all over the guy. And number one, this person has not earned the right to know that information. So it's also a safety issue at that, at that juncture, uh, because they have not earned the right to know those things. So you have to be, when it comes to traumas and things like that, these are things that you share very. Gradually, this is not something that you share off the bat. So when it comes to your inner world, when it comes to things that are very sensitive, when it comes to things that are very personal to you, those are things that you share over time, not immediately, or in a lot of cases, even very early on. So if you get the Feminine Magnetism Mastery Program for$27, I go more into, um. What conversations are happening when in each phase of dating? And then finally, you wanna learn how to master the art of the pause. So after he asks a question, rather than blo word vomiting right away, take a moment to think before answering right? Take your time, breathe and get into your body and be present in the moment when you're sharing something. Maybe you pause mid story and you let a little bit of anticipation build and in conversation. You know, you allow for comfortable silences and because that actually creates intimacy. And what happens for most women is they hear silence and they get very anxious, and then they feel like they need to fill it, right? Because they're like, oh my God, I'm silent. Are we connecting? Is this happening? Does he like me? Blah, blah, blah, and then blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You just start talking because you start making up all this stuff in your head about what the silence actually means. The silence means nothing about you in a negative way. But it does create a gap. It does create curiosity and allows you to be in the present moment. So like silent pauses are not a bad thing. You don't constantly have to be a chatty Kathy. So I know what you're probably thinking and you're like, oh my God, this sounds great in theory, but what do I actually say? How do I craft these mysterious responses in the moment? What if I freeze up? What if I forget what, like what if all? Like what if I'm on a date and then I start talking and then I realize that I start. Screwed up. What do I do after? So I cover all this stuff in the Feminine Magnetism Mastery Program, which you can get for$27 below. And when you go to the order form, um, you're gonna have the option to add in like a hundred plus uh, scripts on how to create magnetic conversations with men in the different phases of dating. So what you're gonna get in feminine Magnetism mastery, you're gonna understand the psychology of polarity, how it applies to dating. How to go from like a first date to commitment and the different conversations that are happening at each stage, you're gonna learn that flow formula that I mentioned in a previous video and how to use it. With dates, and then when you get the magnetism conversations along with your order, you're gonna get word for word responses for the most common first date questions you're gonna get mysterious and magnetic conversation starters that create intrigue. There's over a hundred scripts in there for every situation you can imagine. And the benefits of this are, are you're gonna understand the psychology of how polarity works. You're gonna become a lot more magnetic. You're never gonna run outta things to say. You're gonna create real authentic connection and intrigue, and you're gonna feel a lot more confident when you're going in dating situations. So all you gotta do is click the link in the description for Feminine Magnetism Mastery. You can get both of those things and you can get instant access, so you can start understanding how these things work and how to use them in real life dating situations because. The reality is that mystery isn't manipulation. It's authentic depth and intrigue. It's also not that complicated. Once you really understand how to do this, and in both of those products, it's gonna teach you exactly what to do, what to say, how to say it, when to say it. So you don't go on first dates and you're in this. Shit. Storm of anxiety because you're like, does he like me? Oh, what about this? Pause. Oh, what about this? We're gonna go through the psychology of every single little thing that can happen, uh, when you are beginning to date someone all the way through to commitment. So if this video helps you understand the difference between mystery and games, and make sure to give it a thumbs up and comment below with your biggest challenge when it comes to first. Date conversations, um, because it's gonna help me create more videos and things like that, that I can answer some of these questions for you guys. And then make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bells you don't mind say single video that we have coming out on this channel. And please remember that when it comes to dating and healthy dating dynamics, you don't need to play games in order to be intriguing and mysterious because your authentic depth. And who you are as a person is already mysterious. It's just a matter of learning the psychology of how to communicate these things in a healthy way and gradually over time. Thank you so much for giving me your time today, and I'll catch you on the next one.