Is He Husband Material Or Just Potential? The Truth You Need To Hear

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We've all been there: meeting someone with potential, only to create an idealized version in our heads. This video discusses common pitfalls in modern dating, focusing on the disparity between who someone is and who we imagine them to be, often leading to unrealistic expectations. Learn to identify red flags and navigate dating culture with a more grounded perspective. 🔥

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WHAT TO WATCH NEXT:

Why Women Need Provider Men

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4HtxELsQlg&list=PL2RZXKe4KrQI0pQN4CQhyfgFhMQj0gaC0&index=2

How I Manifested My Husband By Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsyS86ZefQg&list=PL2RZXKe4KrQI0pQN4CQhyfgFhMQj0gaC0&index=4

What Masculine Energy Looks Like In a Woman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ern54mBnm2w&list=PL2RZXKe4KrQI0pQN4CQhyfgFhMQj0gaC0&index=8 


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Inquiries: community@mindfulsuccesspath.com


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#lawofassumption #divinemasculineenergy #howimanifestedmyhusband #divinefeminineenergy #lawofassumptionsuccessstories #lawofassumptiontips #manifestationsuccessstories #polarityinrelationships 


Disclaimer: Moneta Solutions and its agents are not a mental/medical health practitioner or mental/medical health provider and is not holding itself out to be in any capacity. Moneta Solutions and its agents are not providing counseling or therapy services or attempting to diagnose, treat or cure in any manner whatsoever any physical or mental ailment. Moneta Solutions and its agents provide coaching/mentoring to help you reach your own goals through personal accountability.  Please Note: Moneta Solutions and Amanda Abella are not financial professionals. Please consult professionals.

Transcript

Speaker 0:00

We've all been there. You meet a man, and it has spark, it has chemistry. He's brilliant, he's good-looking, and you could see exactly who he could be if he just healed that one childhood wound, or if he just decided to provide for you, or if he finally got that business he keeps talking about off the ground. You start dating the 2.0 version of this guy that you have in your head, but that version only exists in your imagination. Meanwhile, his 1.0 version is the one actually sitting across from you. And today we're gonna start closing those potential projects because a man who is ready to be a husband is not a DIY project, and in fact, he won't even let you make him his DIY project. Because a man who's ready to be a husband has a finished foundation for a structure. And if you're tired of being a rehab center or a mother or a therapist for men who never seem to graduate, then this video is for you because we're gonna be looking at three undeniable signs that he is actually ready to be a husband and ready to be in partnership now. Not two years from now, not three years from now, not a decade from now, but right now in present time. Hi, my name is Amanda. Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to. On this channel, we teach women how to become magnets to their desires so they can naturally attract what it is that they want without sabotaging, without repelling, and without it honestly being more difficult. If that's something that you're interested in, make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video that we have coming out on this channel. And if you're new to this conversation about feminine energy, polarity in relationships, nervous system manifestation, then make sure to download our free Enhance Your Feminine Energy guide, which you can download below, or I will have a QR code available as well. Grab it while it's free because my husband keeps telling me that I should definitely charge for it, and I think he's right. So grab it for free while you can because in that guide, it will walk you through how to use feminine energy in different areas of your life, including career and relationships, and it's also going to talk about the differences between feminine energy and masculine energy so you can start recalibrating yourself as a woman and then start seeing a difference outside of you in your reality. So once again, you can grab that below, and I will also have the QR code available here. So let's get into the first part. Let's get into part one, which is understanding the difference between a provision mindset versus provision logistics. So if you are watching this channel, you probably want a provider. If you are subscribed to this channel, you probably saw my recent video on all the things that I stopped doing in order to manifest my provider husband. So we're gonna be focusing on shifting the definition of provider because most of you have it wrong. Most of you don't even fully understand what a provider is. The biggest mistake that I see women making is looking at a man's bank account to see whether or not he is a provider. Now, don't get me wrong. A man being able to pay the bills, especially the survival bills, and getting that off your back is actually really beneficial to you as a woman. It's beneficial to your nervous system. It's beneficial to your creative power. However, a man can have a million dollars and still not be a provider. He could have zero provider energy. At the same time, you have a man who's on his way up, and he's building, and he's really starting to get his stuff together. He's got these foundations in place, and he's already ready to be a husband, and he's already showing you that he is a provider. And the sign that we're looking for to know the difference between these two men is initiative. We're looking for the initiative that these men have. So is the man that you have in front of you right now, does he take responsibility for the logistics of the relationship? Does he plan the dates, or is he always texting, "Well, what do you wanna do?" Does he protect your peace by handling difficult conversations, or does he hide behind you when things get very difficult? One of the things that I absolutely love about my husband is that he's very protective of me, so if there's a difficult conversation or a difficult situation going on, you bet your ass that he is the one handling it, not me, because he doesn't want me to be stressed out by those things. Because a husband-ready man doesn't need to be managed by your masculine energy. A masculine man who is ready to be a husband, he leads because he has internal order. He has an order to his life. He doesn't ask, "How can I help?" as if he's, like, a guest in your life. He asks, "How can I support," like a partner in your future. So it's very important that women look at this because l- it's like I said, I've known plenty of wealthy men, but they have zero provider energy. They still want you to pay half the bills, or they're looking at you like they want you to be a maid for them. Or they tell you things like, "You know what? Like, I can go date multiple women, but you have to be monogamous to me." There's a whole lot of that tomfoolery that goes on in the world. A provider man, maybe he doesn't have a million dollars in the bank. He can definitely cover all the survival costs for you. He's building the foundations. He's on his way, especially if you're deadi- dating men who are in their 30s and 40s. Most men don't even hit their, um, highest level of earning capacity until their late 40s, early 50s. So if you're dating a guy who's in his 30s, he could still be building and building those foundations, and he is still a provider even while he is building. The mistake that a lot of women make is they think that every man who's a provider needs to be a multimillionaire, and it's not exactly true. In addition to that, provision is not just money. Money's a tiny little piece of provision. Provision is also whether or not he has emotional safety and gives you emotional safety. Provision is whether or not he handles issues. Provision is him not needing to be managed. Provision is whether or not a man brings you solutions to your problems rather than creating a bunch of problems for you. These are all the things that women need to look out for, and then you have a better understanding and a better picture of what provision actually looks like, and then you don't get yourself into a bunch of trouble. Okay, now let's talk about the power of boring consistency. So there's this trap that happens with our nervous systems a lot of the time, which is called the intensity trap, and basically what that looks like is you meet a person and there's this level of intensity. A lot of people call that chemistry, and they confuse that for healthy attraction. A lot of times what's actually going on is that your nervous system is likely addicted to intensity. So we mistake all these butterfly feelings and all these emotions of an inconsistent man for passion, but in reality it's just anxiety. That's why in some traditions and in some cultures, and I'm pretty sure I got what I'm about to say from Buddhism or some sort of Buddhist quote that just stayed with me over the years, it says something along the lines of if you meet a person and there's a lot of intense chemistry, that's actually a red flag. When you're looking at stable partners, it's usually more of a slow burn. It's more of a slow passion, and that's why some cultures in the world don't even pay that much attention to chemistry or emotions of a- or any of that. What they're looking at is shared values and then love growing over time. Now, a lot of you get triggered when I say stuff like this because you're like, "Oh, but I have to be attracted to the guy." A lot of you are attracted to things that are bad for you and bad to you, and what you have to learn how to do is learn to become attracted to men who are good to you and men who are good for you, and oftentimes those are not the men that you feel a lot of intensity and spark and chemistry with. Those are usually the men who are reliable and consistent, but because you are used to chaos and intensity and that's what your nervous system learned to be attracted to, then oftentimes the consistent or reliable man to you seems boring, when in reality that's probably the one who loves you. So that's what women need to start, um, paying attention to because a man who is ready to be a husband, he's like, he's boringly consistent. He is absolutely reliable. Um, he calls when he says he's going to call. He does what he says he's going to do. If he shows up at s- he will show up at 7:00 PM if he said 7:00 PM. You don't have to wonder where you stand with a consistent man because he's going to tell you exactly where you stand, and intensity and chemistry a lot of times is just potential in disguise. That's all it is. It's a fire that eventually burns out. It'll burn really hot really fast, and then it'll burn out. Now, consistency is solid. It's quiet. It's grounded. It's the foundation that you actually build a house on, and if his effort or lack thereof feels like a roller coaster, then he's actually not ready to be a husband. He's just enjoying the adrenaline of the chase. So now let's talk about, as if that wasn't tough love enough, I'm about to do a little bit more tough love, but you guys like it when I do the tough love. You say, "Thank you, because nobody told me this." So I'm gonna keep telling you things that nobody told you. Your mother didn't tell you, your grandma didn't tell you, your aunties didn't tell you, your sisters didn't tell you, your girlfriends didn't tell you, society definitely didn't tell you, but I'm going to tell you. And I'm gonna tell you why you perhaps keep choosing potential over a man who's ready to actually be a husband. And this is the part where we actually have to look in the mirror, and we have to look at ourselves. Because you wouldn't be dating potential if there was a part of you that didn't feel safer dating a man that, um, only has potential. Now, you might be wondering, "Safer, what do you mean? I'm, I'm on these emotional roller coasters. I feel anxiety with this guy. Like, it's been 10 years of this guy stringing me along. I'm so upset." So here's the thing, right? And this is where our brains can get really sneaky, and that's why it's important for us to understand the nervous system and how our brains work, and that's why I go on and on and on about that on this channel. Because if you've seen my other videos, then you know that I talk about two archetypes of women that are actually incredibly insecure. I talk about the wounded maiden, who's usually a very immature woman, drama queen, all that kind of stuff. Th- everything's everybody else's fault. She's a perpetual victim. And I also talk about the awakening warrior. The awakening warrior is the one who wants to control everything. She's the one that people would say is probably too much in her masculine energy. Now, the awakening warrior is a rung up from the wounded maiden, but they're both very insecure women. And these are the types of women who end up with men like the one I'm describing. They end up with men- Who have a lot of potential. The wounded maiden usually ends up with men who treat her like crap, and the awakening warrior usually ends up with a man that she feels like she has to mother or be his therapist. And the reality is that there's a part of us that wears, uh, manipulation, in the case of the wounded maiden, and hyper-independence, in the case of the awakening warrior, um, like armor right? So if you date a man with potential, you stay in the driver's seat. Now, in the case of the wounded maiden, her being in the driver's seat involves a whole lot more drama and manipulation and puppet mastery. And in the case of the awakening warrior, like I said, she ends up being the mother in a lot of cases. So she feels like, uh... These are the women who oftentimes say that they feel like they're raising, you know, their actual children and their husbands. They're usually more in the awakening warrior because if you stay in the driver's seat, then you get to be the savior, you get to be the teacher, you get to be the one who's in control, and there's a part of you that actually feels safety in that. And the reason why is because if you date a man who's ready to be a husband, and you date a man who is already whole, then you, my dear, have to be vulnerable, and being vulnerable is terrifying for people who are either the perpetual victim in life or who feel like they have to fight their way through life because, as I've mentioned, both of those archetypes of insecure women are living their lives from a state of survival mode. It's just the way in which, um, they express their survival mode is different depending on which archetype you actually are. Some of you have asked for a quiz about these archetypes. I'm working on it. Stay tuned. Make sure to subscribe. So- A lot of times what happens is if you date a man who's already whole, you drop the manipulation, you drop the games. You also drop the armored warrior. You, you drop the armor or the walls that you've built up. You have to drop all of those things in order to date, um, a whole man, and that's a terrifying prospect for a lot of women. So what they'll do instead is pick the guy with potential because they'll be like, "Well, you know, I know that this isn't necessarily going to go anywhere, but I know where it's gonna end up, and be... If, if I know where it's gonna end up, then I have control." Or they will try and control the relationship so that they don't have to wonder where things are going, or they want to maintain control of the man or the relationship or the situation so that they themselves don't have to be, uh, vulnerable. So that's why that happens, um, a lot of the time. And I've also mentioned this, a lot of women have a fantasy of taking a man who's a lump of coal and turning him into a diamond and saying, "I'm the woman who was able to change him." A lot of women also have that fantasy, so you have to be careful about it because it's exactly that. It's a fantasy. It's not reality. It's not what makes a healthy partnership. So the bottom line here is that a man who is ready for partnership, a man who is ready to be a husband, is not going to ask you to wait for his potential to kick in. He just shows up as a partner today. As in, like, whenever you're watching this video. And if you're looking at your potential partner right now and you're starting to realize, ooh, ooh, Amanda may have called me out, I don't think this is gonna work, or you're starting to identify yourself in either the wounded maiden archetype that I talked about or the awakening warrior archetype that I, that I talked about, then I have a gift for you because many of you have asked me to put together a training about how to heal wounded feminine energy, and it's available for you now. This training, we talk a lot about the nervous system regulation and what is required. We also talk a lot about healing the mother-daughter wound, healing the lineage, because a lot of this behavior we learned from the women in our lives. I'll have another video coming out on that one, so make sure to subscribe. So we go into a lot of these things, and we talk about the techniques and the strategies that we can use to get out of this wounded feminine energy, to start getting out of survival mode and start moving more into a place- of wholeness. So if you're interested in that, you can find the information in the description or the first comment below, and I will also make sure to put it in the QR code here. So with that being said, let me know in the comments if any of this resonated with you. Many of you have been leaving wonderful comments about the, how these videos have really helped you kinda see the light and see the truth of particular situations, and that makes me really happy, uh, 'cause it means we're doing really good work here. And if you feel like we're doing really good work here, then make sure to give this video a like because it lets YouTube know that it can put it in front of other women who are looking for this kind of information. There is an awakening of feminine energy going on all over the world. We've got women from, I think we're up to 50 different countries in this community right now, and you can help, continue the growth by giving this video a like and also sharing it with a girlfriend. And please make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video that we have coming out on this channel, and I will catch you on the next one.