Speaker 0:00

If you're a high-achieving woman, perhaps you're a doctor, a lawyer, a realtor, a high-level executive, maybe you run your own business, then perhaps you've mastered the art of the hero's journey. You know how to lead, you know how to solve problems, you know how to get stuff done. You know how to stay in your masculine energy in order to get results, and oftentimes get results very quickly. But there is a silent success penalty, or maybe you wanna call it a success tax, if you will, that many high-achieving women are paying, and it's the fear that their professional greatness is repelling the very partnership that they crave. You've probably heard the story, the high-achieving woman, she makes a lot of money. She can't find a guy on her level. The only men who are attracted to her, she needs to mother them, uh, they cheat on her, or she ends up in some wild situations. And a lot of people are like, "But, but she has it all together. Why is this happening?" A lotta times it's because of this success penalty. So I see your comments, you love your work, but you're tired of coming home to a life where you still feel like you have to be the boss or the mother, or you're tired of being told that you are intimidating, or you're tired of being told to dim your light in order to attract a man. And today we're gonna be debunking that because the reality is that you don't have to choose between your career and you- and your heart. You don't have to change your current career in order to attract a masculine man. A lot of you are like, "Oh, Amanda, you j- you let go of a business and started a new one." All this stuff, do I have to do that too? No, you don't Right? You don't have to do that too. I had to do that for different reasons where I no longer felt in alignment or in integrity with what I was doing before. But that doesn't mean that the same thing has to happen to you. If anything, let me be proof. I am a high-achieving woman. I make money every day from this YouTube channel, and I'm still married to a masculine, protector, provider husband who wants to give me the world and wants to make sure that I don't have to worry about anything. So you can definitely have both your success in your career and have a career that you love, and you can also have success in your relationships. However, you do have to learn how to change your energetic clothes, so to speak, when you walk through the door. Because I've oftentimes said that a lot of the skills that are required in your career, especially certain careers, um, like especially medicine or lawyers or, you know, high-level executives, like some of the skills that you use in your career that are helpful there don't necessarily translate over into relationships. It doesn't necessarily translate over to the realm of the heart. And in this video, we're gonna be talking about that boss to empress transition that a lot of these over-functioning, high-achieving women need to learn how to do in order for them to start attracting high-value men that are not intimidated by your success, aren't going to use you for your success, and don't expect you to be their mother or pay half the bills. So hi, my name is Amanda. Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama. That most people are accustomed to. If that's something that you're interested in, make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video that we have coming out on this channel. You can also give this video a like because it lets YouTube know to put this in front of other women who are searching how to bring more feminine energy back into their lives. And if you're new to this conversation about feminine energy, polarity in relationships, then make sure to download our free Enhance Your Feminine Energy Guide while you still can, while it's still free, 'cause people keep telling me I need to charge for it. You can download it for free as of now. And in that guide, it walks you through how to cultivate more feminine energy in your life over the next week or so when it comes to making money, when it comes to your relationships, and it's based on my own personal transformation where I went from being a hyper-independent boss babe of a woman and making almost seven figures a year, but destroyed my thyroid basically to do it, and kept attracting passive men, and really had to hustle and grind and over-function, to now being in a marriage with a healthy provider, protector husband, having moved to another country where I can live with more ease and more flow, having healed my hormones naturally, and now having this business where I just get to have fun and be creative, and it brings in passive income through digital course sales every day. All of this was impossible before I understood the role of feminine energy, and that free guide helps you get started. You can find the information below, and I will have the QR code here as well. So let's talk about the trap of the hyper-independent nervous system. Now, the hyper-independent woman, the high-achieving woman, this is the woman who tends to fall into the archetype that I call the awakening warrior. The awakening warrior, um, is usually very successful in her career, but everything sometimes comes with a fight, okay? I know I was ready to fight, like, at any moment, at any quarter. I was always like this, waiting for a shoe to drop. I was very hypervigilant, and I was always in control. And on the outside it looked like I had it all together, but on the inside I was a little bit of a mess because I was afraid of letting go of that control. Now, if this resonates for you, then this might also resonate as well. For many of you who are relating to what I'm saying right now, your professional success was a lotta times built on a foundation of hyper-independence. So a lotta times you learned at an early age that if something was going to be done right, then you have to do it yourself, that if you want to be safe, then you have to be in control. And that has served you a lot in your career, but in your romantic life it actually functions as a keep out sign. Now, I will come back around to this, uh, because I have also learned that in my career now having this new business, that, um, I don't have to be super masculine in this particular business at all. Um, so I'm starting to lean more into the theory- That was taught to me by some teachers, which is that women, like this whole conversation about us having masculine energy, we can co-opt masculine energy when we need to co-opt it, but really ultimately we are feminine energy, and even when we are do things that are masculine, for example, me running this business right now, we're able to do it from feminine ways. There's nothing masculine about the business that I am running right now. It's the polar opposite. I'm in my feminine energy all day long, and money gets to come in. So I've since learned, and I will come back around and do another video on this, that we can actually bring a lot more feminine energy into careers that are seen as very masculine energy. But for the sake of simplicity, let's just say that a lot of these high-achieving women stay in masculine energy, and a lot of times what that looks like, um, is safety versus success, right? So in order for them to be safe, then they have to be successful. In order for them to be safe, then they need to be in control. And when you're in constant boss mode, then your nervous system actually become... goes into a state of high alert. I spent years in a state of high alert, so I understand this. And you're always scanning for problems to fix or people to manage. So when you bring that same energy into a date or a marriage, you're not a partner, you're an auditor, right? Okay? These are like the women who go on dates, and they have, like, the clipboard with, like, the, all the check boxes, and they're like, "Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh." Or they go on a date, and rather than knowing how to flow in a conversation, being in this feminine, receptive energy when you're out on a date and you're allowing someone to receive to you, you talk on a date like you're interviewing somebody for a job, okay? That's where, where that comes off. That's where that tends to rear its ugly head sometimes. Or it also rears its ugly head sometimes in managing or mothering your man, which ultimately kills polarity and attraction in the relationship and also makes you exhausted. So a high-quality masculine man, he wants to contribute to your life. But if your life is a closed system where you already do everything, then there's absolutely no room for him whatsoever. And he doesn't see your independence as a threat to his ego. It's not that at all. Healthy men do not see your success as a threat. In fact, they wanna help you become more successful a lot of the times. What he sees is a lack of opportunity for him to be of service and give to you and be your hero. And in order to receive him, you have to create a sort of vacancy in your life that only his masculine energy can fill. So for example, before I met my husband, I was hyper independent. I was trying to do everything myself. Even though I had team and employees, like- I wasn't really very good at letting go of control. They would probably agree with that, right? I wasn't very good at letting go of control. I always felt like I had to do everything. And one of the things that I let go a few months before meeting my husband was this idea that I always had to control everything, that I always had to go in to save the day, that I'm the one who always had to go in and fix stuff. I just started letting it go. I was like, "I'm too tired for this," right? And some of you might be in that space where you're like, "I'm too tired for this," and you are ready, um, to let that go. By the time I met my husband, I had already been doing what I call my divine masculine energy experiment, where I was just allowing men all around me, honestly, to solve my problems, right? They were solving business problems. They were solving tech problems. Um, they were taking me out to dinner. I let them give to me because I had spent so many years supporting other people that I didn't feel like I was very much supported, and I had to kind of reverse that. And that's what the divine masculine energy experiment allowed me to do, and it also allowed me to get very comfortable with receiving from men and trusting men. Um, and it, and it created vacancies. I got very good at creating vacancies. In fact, the reason why my husband and I even met was because I asked him for help. I, I asked him for help with a particular problem that I was having, uh, many years ago. We, we met through a, a work networking group, and, um, I was having this particular problem, or not even a problem. It was more of, like, a desire that I was trying to create in my life, and he was the only person who could fill that void. He was the only person who knew how to, uh, physically build what it was that I was trying to express, um, verbally through my desires. 'Cause I could, like, express what I wanted, but I had no idea how to actually build it. My husband knew how to actually build it. So that vacancy was created. So let's talk about the boss to empress transition rituals. This is very, very helpful. I know sometimes even though this particular work, I'm in feminine energy most of the time, and I don't have to do these things as much. Sometimes, depending on the day, these are very helpful, and I know that, you know, many years ago when I was in a type of business that did require me to be more masculine, to put it that way, um, and then I would go out on dates, and these particular rituals really helped me. So here are some practical somatic ways to shift out of this doing, doing, doing, trying to control everything kind of mode or anxiety into softer receptivity because you cannot expect your body to shift from, like, boardroom to bedroom in five minutes. It doesn't really work. Um, I've been doing this for a long time, and sometimes I'm like, "I need 20 minutes," okay? "I need 10 minutes. I need 20 minutes. I need to decompress a little bit. I need to transition over." So- The first one is physical shedding, right? So when you get home, you can change your clothes immediately. You can get, take your scrubs off, those of you who are doctors, take the scrubs off, the blazers off, take all these things off, take off the shoes, and move into something that is more soft and flowing. So for example, I mean, now I just wear soft and flowy clothing all the time, but I would imagine that, you know, the last time I worked in an office was probably 15 years ago working for somebody else, and I had to be, like, very business professional. And I got in the habit of always wearing more flowy things at home, even back then, just 'cause I was more comfortable with it. And what I didn't realize then, that I realize now, is that it signals to your brain that the warrior, she's off duty. She's done. The other thing, and I do this all the time actually, especially if I feel any sense of anxiety, this is one of my go-tos, is the sensory shift, right? So I'm a very sensual person. The feminine is very much about sensuality. It's about the senses. And for me, this really helps me get into feminine energy, it helps me relax, and it helps me get into a receptive mode. So it's using a scent or a sound to signal a change in the environment. So I love to light candles, for example, or when I'm cooking or something like that, I love to play music. I love to dance. Those things really get me out of my head, 'cause a lot of times the high-achieving women and the awakening warriors, you all are very much in your head, and what we have to learn to do is get out of your head and back into your body. And the other thing that I do is a prayer of surrender. You could also call it a hand-off prayer. So y- it could be as simple as saying to yourself, "I'm done leading for today. I'm done funct- over-functioning for today. I'm done doing all the things and fixing all the problems today. It is now safe for me to be held and supported." And again, this depends on what kind of work you're doing. I am no longer in a business where I feel like I need this, but I know when I was in my awakening warrior phase, these rituals really helped me start getting out of that. Or if I'm st- if I find myself being too much in my head for whatever reason, these rituals really help. I'm also a student of A Course in Miracles, so I've gotten into this tendency of remembering, like, I can just surrender things to the Holy Spirit. Like, I don't have to go solve everything myself anymore. I am not alone anymore. And some of you might be like, "Well, you've got a great husband." Yes, I do, but I had to learn how to do that with a higher power, uh, Holy Spirit, God, universe, creator. We have women from all over the world. Insert whatever your belief system is here. I actually learned how to do that with a higher power before I, I was able to even attract my husband, and that is a Um, quality that I still use to this day, particularly if I feel myself getting back into a little bit of that awakening warrior energy because when you lived that way for 15 years, sometimes you slip back, okay? Sometimes you gotta be aware of that. So what you have to realize is that these rituals are not about being weak. They're not about being passive. It's actually about learning how to be selective with your energy. Everything that I teach you on this channel is about learning how to be more selective and discerning with your energy. So you might be a CEO in the streets and a queen in your sheets, okay? That's what we're going for here. You might be boss babe all day long. You may have to solve problems all day long depending on your work or line of work or line of business, but that doesn't mean you gotta bring that stuff home, and sometimes that just means that we need really clear, energetic boundaries, and that we have to be very selective with our energy. And a- another part of this, right, that I want to mention just very briefly is sometimes, um, it's about learning how to re- it, it's about learning how to integrate these different sides of ourselves. So for example, I know when I met my husband, I ended up taking, like, a three-year break from doing anything that had to do with money. I, you know, helped him, you know, with Entrepreneur Expat. I was, you know, emotionally supportive. You know, I would travel around with him. I learned a lot from him through Entrepreneur Expat, but I wasn't really doing much. Even in my last business, like, he helped me, you know, wind it down, and it was at a point where he was basically running the thing right? And I would just, like, show up every once in a while because I was so done. Um, and then I, I was so far in masculine energy that I really just nourished myself and, um, I, um, paid attention to other parts of my life that I had neglected for 15 years. I spent three years doing that, and then when I came back to, for example, Mindful Success Path, which is currently bringing in, you know, at the time of recording, it's hundreds of dollars, sometimes over $1,000 a day in digital course sales. Um, what happened was it kinda took me a while to get there because I had to learn how to bring what was good from my awakening warrior days, so for example, all the skills that I learned in my awakening warrior days, uh, the marketing, the sales. Uh, my husband's a lot better at systems than I am, but, like, high level, I can understand systems. Um, how to put offers together, products together, how to make money, like, learn- knowing how to integrate the good parts while leaving the parts that were not so good, uh, in the past, and then learning how to integrate those things with, uh, more feminine energy, um, until it got to a point, like I said, where now I run this business, and it's mostly from a place of feminine energy. I don't feel like I'm in masculine energy- At all when I'm in this business, not even when I'm teaching. I know a lot of people say that, you know, "Well, when I'm teaching, I'm in the masculine energy, and then the student is the receptive feminine energy." I don't feel like I'm in masculine energy when I'm teaching. I feel like I'm having a collaborative conversation with my girlfriends, and there's really nothing very masculine energy about that. Okay? I feel like I'm just sharing wisdom. That's it. I don't necessarily feel like me teaching puts me in a state of masculine energy. Um, it just doesn't feel that way to me at all. Um, and if anything, right, perhaps I'm teaching from a place of more feminine energy where it's more collaborative, and I'm sharing wisdom. So that's one thing that I wanted to point out here, and again, that's just gonna depend on what kind of phase you're in, right, and what kind of career you're in and what it is that you choose for yourself because it's gonna be a little bit different for everyone. Now, I wanna quickly address the fear of losing yourself because this is a very common fear that a lot of high-achieving women have. I certainly did for a very long time because, um, a lot of women are afraid of being vulnerable, right? And they're afraid that if they start surrendering more or going more into feminine energy, then suddenly they'll lose their careers. They won't make money anymore. They'll lose themselves in a man. Then they'll get abandoned. I mean, my brain went into a bunch of different directions. I'm sure yours is, too, and a lot of that just comes down to a fear of vulnerability, and vulnerability is a choice of the strong, not a necessity of the weak. So what do I mean by that? What I mean by that is that many of you are terrified to surrender or receive because you're afraid that if you do that, you're gonna lose the independence that you worked so hard for. I know I did. I felt that, and I've seen it in the comments as well. So you're afraid that if you let a man lead, that he's gonna leave you o- lead you off a cliff, and the reality is that some men will lead you off a cliff. But that's where your feminine discernment comes in handy and why you need to learn how to discern, uh, who's a high-quality man and who's not. But many of you are afraid that you'll become like a 1950s housewife who has no voice, no choice, and is popping pills all day long just to get through. And I've oftentimes said this, that there was nothing feminine about the 1950s housewife. She was actually quite masculine, and it was also a uniquely American concept. It did not, that did not necessarily happen in other countries. So i- it's like a little blip in human history. So I want to remind you that in my recent video called Before I Met My Provider Husband, I Stopped Doing This- I have to remind you of something I said in that video, which is that true feminine power isn't about being less than a man. It has nothing to do with that. It's about having a standard so high that you only surrender to a man who is worthy of leading you. It's about knowing how to discern a good man from a not so good man. And surrender is a choice. It is the highest form of trust. So when you allow a man to provide for you, whether it's paying for a dinner or solving a problem, handling the car maintenance or leading the vacation planning, you aren't losing your power. I don't feel like I'm losing my power because my husband makes money, pays the bills, plans our vacations, does all the logistics. And whenever there's like a conflict or an issue, he handles it. He doesn't want me being in that stress. I don't feel like I've lost my power. It's the exact opposite. I feel like I've gained more power. I feel like I've gained more influence. I feel like my creativity has come all the way back online, which allowed for this YouTube channel to even exist.

Speaker 2 20:51

The other thing is that when you are able to surrender and you're able to allow people to support you, whether it's a masculine man or maybe for those of you who are high achievers, it's employees or team members or people who you delegate to or just life itself, the universe in general, what happens is that you're actually conserving your power so you can spend it on things that actually truly matter to you. Things like your creativity, your family, your joy, your partnership, your love, things that make you happy. And a man who is intimidated by your paycheck is actually a man with a wounded ego. A man who's inspired by your presence is a king. So if this resonated for you and you want to go deeper, then I highly recommend checking out the Magnetic Woman Transformation. This is my deep dive program that takes you from being in hyper-independence, survival mode, hypervigilance, all the way to being this new identity of a magnetic empress who allows herself to receive and be supported and be cared for. We go through everything. We cover different life areas, including money and including career. So if this is resonating with you, that's your next step in order to actually go deeper. And you can find more information about that below. And I'll have the QR code here as well. if you found this video useful, then please make sure to give it a like because it lets YouTube know to put it in front of other women who are searching for this information. And based on my analytics, we've got women in at least 50 different countries who are searching for this information right now because there's an awakening happening all over the world. You can also help us spread the message by sharing this with a girlfriend and make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video that we have coming out on this channel or a live stream because I do pop up every once in a while and do live streams. Thank you so much for giving me your time today and I'll catch you on the next one.