NewActionsShowHealing (NASH)
Two sisters with Trials, Tribulations and a bit of Rediculousness! We’ve survived and succeeded with so much going against us. Living with multiple family suicide and more loss than living. Our mission is to talk about the hard stuff! Say the words no one wants to say! Let you know your feelings are valid and real!
NewActionsShowHealing (NASH)
Sacrifice, Survival, and the Power of Kindness: A Mother's Story
The weight of grief transforms in unexpected ways when we gain new perspectives. After a summer hiatus marked by milestone birthdays and painful memories, Heather returns to share her journey through one of the most challenging periods since losing her father to suicide.<br><br>Reflecting on a previous conversation with a guest who had contemplated suicide, Heather discovered a profound shift in how she understood her father's death. "He didn't think past that moment," she realizes, illuminating the tunnel vision of suicidal thinking. This insight led to a powerful reframing—perhaps her father's tragedy served as an unwitting sacrifice, teaching her to remain present for her family despite life's darkest moments. As she navigated what would have been her father's 60th birthday alongside her own 40th, this new understanding became a lifeline.<br><br>But summer's challenges weren't confined to emotional territory. Heather shares the terrifying story of her athletic 15-year-old daughter accepting what appeared to be a harmless fruit snack from peers at the state fair, resulting in a medical emergency with her heart rate spiking to 190. The harrowing ambulance ride, the medical team's urgent intervention, and the realization that synthetic substances often evade standard drug screenings became a stark reminder of vulnerability. "You literally can't trust anybody," Heather warns, transforming her family's trauma into a crucial message for others.
Between these intensely personal stories emerges a simple yet profound truth: "Kindness is suicide prevention." Small gestures—holding a door, offering a smile, being a listening ear—cost nothing yet might save someone's life. Join us as we explore grief, trauma, healing, and the remarkable power of human connection. Have a story to share? Reach out—your experience might be exactly what someone else needs to hear.
Hey guys, it's Heather with New Action Show Healing, and I apologize, it's been some time, but I want to jump on and kind of talk a little bit and try to get back at it. So last couple months has been a little bit different, I know, for myself and Jennifer. Jennifer started a new job, so that I think is going well, but it's always a lot to learn. She has a new grandbaby. He is, I think, three months old now, so he is growing like a champ and school started. So in my life we've had school started and I actually started school to complete my bachelor's. So just a little little bit here, there and everywhere.
Speaker 1:But the last couple of months was a little bit rough and different. And I think you know the last episode we did, we interviewed and Isaiah was very open about his experience, which was very, very good, and I am grateful for that, and it really opened my eyes to see. I think the biggest thing that stuck out is he didn't think past that moment, because I've always wondered, you know, like my dad, why would he leave us? How could he do that? But they're not thinking about anybody else, it's whatever they're going through at that time and they make that rash decision, not that it takes away the pain or brings them back, but you know, in his mind he wasn't thinking I don't want to live for my family, he's thinking I just don't want to live for myself. And it really kind of changed my perspective on some things.
Speaker 1:I know in August was really rough for me. My dad's birthday is seven days before mine and he would have been 60. And I turned 40 and my oldest daughter actually turns 20 in October. So it's a lot of big years for a 60, 40, 20. And you know, a few years ago is rough, when my oldest was about the age we were, when we lost my dad, and I think it was just like knowing her age and seeing she's in high school, she's going to graduate, and you know, then we have our youngest. But you know I worked through it, I talked to my counselor and now my youngest is at that age, she's 15, soon to be 16.
Speaker 1:So I think it just hit so much harder. And it was a few days before my dad's birthday and I'm just, you know, I had a week where pretty much all I could do was cry, like it was just very hard week and I don't know why, other than I think the birthdays, maybe I don't know 40 is a rough one, but um, you know, a few days before my dad's birthday, it just I really think it hit me and I it's just you know, when I think back and it just it lifted so much off of my heart. I think because it just setting there midday, you know, kind of had one of my episodes where all I could do is cry and I'm just upset and uh, I thought, you know, I think you know they say everything happens for a reason and I think life has gotten so different and hard, I mean, at the time it's hard at that time, but I mean times have changed so much and I wonder if my dad almost was protecting us Because, trust me, there's days I don't want to see tomorrow. But we don't have a choice. I wouldn't leave my family and my kids the way my dad left me and leave my family and my kids the way my dad left me. But it's almost like he sacrificed himself for us to see what it was like for us to live. If that makes sense, it doesn't, you know, ease the pain or it's may not sound like a valid reason to anybody else, but in my mind it was like a weight lifted off of me, like he sacrificed his own life so we could see what it was like to live through it and maybe teach us to live for our family. So, um, and the feedback, just let me know um, thoughts, I mean it. It doesn't sound as weightlifting when I say it aloud and talk about it, but, boy, at that time it was like almost like I could breathe. It's almost like, you know, I don't know, it's just really hard to explain, but I don't know if it makes sense to you guys, but at the time it made sense to me and ever since then it's like I kind of it opened, it, shed a different light on it, and I don't know if it's because I was going through such a hard time and again, I, you know I have to be there for my family, whereas he wasn't for us. So, um, just kind of give me some feedback. What do you think about that? And your thoughts?
Speaker 1:And, um, just this troubling time, I think everybody needs prayers, no matter your religion, no matter your beliefs. You know, I seen a quote the other day and I shared it on our Facebook page, but it said kindness is suicide prevention. And that is a hundred percent accurate, because all it takes is being kind, smiling at your neighbor, um, you know, be a listening ear. Anything you can do to help is just kindness and that's what we need, you know, in today's time more than anything, because it's powerful and it doesn't cost anything. You know, it's free to be kind, it's free to give a smile, it's free to help somebody, um, and that's what we can do. And I think if our kids see us, you know, then that makes a difference. I was sitting outside the dollar store the other day and an adult woman came out, let the door shut, walked away. Two steps later, a young, probably middle school girl went to the door and held it open for a family that was coming in and I thought, you know, it's pretty sad that an adult couldn't hold the door, but a young child knows what to do and showed kindness, and I just it kind of. If you just sit back and watch, you see it, and there's definitely people that are selfish and don't care about one another, but if we reflect and carry through, you know, you can change somebody's day.
Speaker 1:You know, another thing that I think hit me hard over the summer is my daughter and I. We work the state fair because we live in Sedalia, missouri State Fair. Fifteen bucks an hour, by golly, sign me up. So I worked the admission gate and she does parking, and she did it last year and so did I. So this year I had to go to work an hour early, earlier than her. So she was just going to hang out.
Speaker 1:She could have went in the fair. She asked if she could start early. They didn't have anything. So she was sitting under the tree. You know she hadn't been there less than an hour and I get a call and I missed it. But I got my phone, I called her right back and she's I could tell she's struggling and she's crying. And she said, mom, I need help.
Speaker 1:And she was down in a bathroom and I said what's wrong? And she said, mom, I, I recognized them and they always look like nice people. And they asked if I wanted a fruit snack and I did. But I haven't felt good since. So I said where are you? So you know, this mama runs down there. Mama ain't made for running, um, so I make it down there and I, you know, I, I knew she wasn't feeling good, but I didn't really think it at the time. You know, my thing was okay. She's sitting in a bathroom it's a concrete, you know, stall bathroom, nobody's around because it's not busy at that time. So she, I go outside and I said let me call 911 because I don't know. And she was shaky, um, and so she comes outside and I called 911 and I told him hey, like we need help, I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 1:Um, this gentleman pulls up on a golf cart and, thankful for him, he donates pizza to all the workers because he had just brought it up front. And he said you know, hey, do you need some food? And I said no, I'm waiting on a paramedic. And so he got off and he said I'm a retired fire chief nurse practitioner, how can I help? And I told him, I said you know, I don't know what it was, she ate a gummy Somebody was giving her. He checked her pulse and he said her pulse is high, get her on the golf cart and we'll get her up to emergency. I'm like, okay, so he takes her there and I just go across because I want to make sure that no other kids because in parking a lot of them's, you know, 14, 15 year olds took anything else. So I'm, you know they tried to call their boss and I'm telling them hey, make sure nobody else ate any.
Speaker 1:And I run up to the thing and by the time I get back they have her in the ambulance and she is strapped down, her body is shaking profusely. They tell me that, you know, there's troopers, and I'd never been in an ambulance like that. There's two troopers, there's two, I think, medical staff. Um, I had to call my husband and you know tell him, hey, hey, you know, like I didn't know at the time, they were going to take her to the hospital because I'm like I just said, hey, I need you here. Shelby ate something. She's not feeling good.
Speaker 1:So he was leaving work and I get to the ambulance and the lady paramedic said you know, we gave her medicine to bring her heart rate down. It was 190 when we got her here. It didn't work. We're giving her another dose. And it lasted about seven seconds and all I could do is cry because I didn't know. I didn't know what was happening. I'm not a nurse, I do paperwork. That's what I always tell people. My sister's a nurse, I'm not.
Speaker 1:So they were getting her fastened in. They were taking her by ambulance to the hospital and I don't think I've ever witnessed anything like that in my life. It scared the shit out of me. And then we get to the hospital and it was a long ride. I don't even know if sirens were on, honestly.
Speaker 1:Um, we get to the ER and my oldest is there, my husband's there and a family friend is there, cause he just happened to call at the time and he's like can I go? Yeah, and my daughter's friend was there and I think it opened all of our eyes. As they get her out on the stretcher, her body's shaking. She really doesn't remember anything from that time. Um, you know they were still concerned about her heart rate. We got in the ER and the doctor said you know her heart rate's high, we're still watching it. It's not at the point we need to shock it yet. And I'm pretty sure my mind like I don't even know after that, because it's my 15 year old daughter and we don't even know what's going on and we don't know what happened and what she took. And, um, we're just getting over this kidney thing.
Speaker 1:We took her to Mayo Clinic. She's had two kidney biopsies and her last visit with that doctor. She was cleared not cleared, but see her in six months. If that goes good, see her in a year, um, so you know, we feel like we're out of the woods. And then now we have this and um, she tested negative for everything. Drug screen was negative, lab work was negative. Um, they got her heart rate down, got her fluids, so everything worked out.
Speaker 1:Um, we took her home that night. She rested, ate, drank and she was able to work the fair, the rest, rest of the fair, and um, I'm very thankful for that. And I couldn't ask for better paramedics or better nurses or better doctors. You know, everybody wants to talk like, oh, I don't like that facility, or oh, I don't like this or that, but I cannot complain. Um, they were absolutely amazing.
Speaker 1:But I just want to share that experience, because we tell our kids don't, don't take medicine from anybody, don't. You know, if you don't know them, don't. But my daughter's like mom, I swear, I've seen them at school. They're nice kids. I feel like she's too nice, she's not going to tell them no, but it's like, really Like you just want to shake them. Um, so in the end, you know, I am more than thankful that it worked out the way it did.
Speaker 1:I was working, she was working, I was there, I was able to be there, people were around, but it breaks my heart for people that aren't close, or you know, she could have sat in that bathroom if she wasn't able to call and if it was a hotter day or if she'd have worked longer, and I can't even imagine. I mean it just absolutely, I think, changed our world in a sense and opened our eyes. And you know she never identified the people and she picked out one of the girls and I don't know if it is or isn't her and you know you always think, oh, you want them held accountable, which I do. I mean I don't want anybody else have to go through that. But I'm glad my daughter's alive and I'm glad she's okay and I hope like hell.
Speaker 1:My daughter and all of her friends and my oldest daughter and everybody around us learned something you know you tell your kids don't take medicine from people, but you literally can't trust anybody, and so that probably contributed to my August breakdown, when all I could do was cry because our state fair I think it started August 7th through the 17th, so just a lot that went on plus turning 40. But I just want to share that story because if I can share it with everybody I come in contact with, I will, Just for awareness. You know, it's as simple as hey, do you want a fruit snack? And she's like mom, they were eating out of the bag. Well, there had to be more than one bag, there had to be something else.
Speaker 1:I've been told multiple kids ended up seeking medical care. I don't know if that's a fact or not. All I know is what we dealt with and she is an athlete, she's strong, she's I mean, she's pretty powerful. She does Raiders, she does track, she does soccer, she did softball, she, she'll do anything she can. And so you know, when I put out on Facebook, just FYI, people's like, oh, that doesn't happen, she probably got too hot or no. I mean, I understand that. But when she's used to running and doing Raiders, which is like bootcamp and drills and running track and um, you know, we know our kids better than anybody else.
Speaker 1:And the ER doctor said, just because she's negative, there's so many things synthetic. And he named off a bunch of letters and words. You know that don't show up because they only test for the top seven drugs. So in the end I am thankful and I'm grateful for the care she got and I have no complaints I'm. If it were going to happen, I'm glad it happened like that. Where we were there, paramedics was there and it turned out the way it did.
Speaker 1:But all I can ask is for you to spread the word. Talk to your kids, talk to your grandkids, tell anybody. I mean, it's just something now we have to watch for. So that's just showing kindness. You know, just as smiling to somebody. If you come in contact and you think they'll benefit, tell them because you might save their life. On that note, thank you for listening. We will get back to making more. We might try to do like every other week to get going so we can get back on a routine. If you want to tell your story, reach out to one of us, comment on Facebook, send us a message, anything you want to. We would be happy to get your story out, because everybody in today's time can benefit from hearing somebody else's story. So thank you guys. Have a great day and talk to you soon.
