Updating Your Inner Map

A moved trash can, a paused hand, and a sudden laugh—sometimes the smallest moments expose the biggest truths about how our brains work and how we grow. We dive into the subtle gap between external change and internal wiring, showing why your mind keeps reaching for what’s no longer there and how to guide it toward what’s true now.

We break down procedural memory in plain language: your brain favors the familiar, not necessarily the accurate. That’s why it’s possible to leave an old season yet still act like you’re living in it. Through a faith-forward lens anchored in Romans 12:2, we talk about renewal as a real neurological process. You’ll learn why repeated correction, consistent choices, and intentional redirection are the ingredients that weaken old responses and strengthen new ones. We share practical language you can use in the moment—like saying it’s not there anymore—to mark the turn that begins transformation.

Across stories, scripture, and science, we map out simple steps to retrain your mind: pause before reacting, speak life-giving truth daily, and journal specific questions that reveal outdated routes. Expect compassionate reminders that setbacks are human and not a verdict on your growth. With awareness as the doorway and choice as the handle, you can update your inner map, stabilize your identity, and live with emotional clarity and spiritual maturity.

If this resonates, share it with a friend who’s ready to turn toward the new, subscribe for more faith and mindset tools, and leave a review so others can find the show. Your story is not finished—let’s practice the next turn together.

Transcript

Welcome And Core Promise

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Hey hey, it's your favorite shifter story coach, Coach Tara, and you're listening to the Her Authentic Voice podcast. This is where faith meets real life, where shame gets silenced, and where your story becomes your strategy. You are not created to live in silence, you were not called to repeat the dysfunction you grew up in, and you were not anointed to remain in survival mode. This podcast is for faith-driven women who are done with compromising who they are and ready to walk in kingdom authority with emotional clarity and spiritual maturity. We break destructive patterns, we rebuild identity from the inside out, and we rise with clarity, confidence, and spiritual integrity. Amen. Today's episode focuses on something simple. Yet this simple truth has the power to reshape how you see yourself, how you interpret your past, and how you prepare for your future. So let's dive in. It all started with my trash can. Yes, you heard me correctly, my trash can. So I moved it to another part of the kitchen because I wanted to shift some things around a few weeks ago. Now, you would think my brain will remember that, right? You would think that I remember that it's not in the old place. But I kept returning to the old place as if the trash can had never been moved. I was walking to that empty corner. I had something in my hand about to throw away, and I paused and I stood there looking at the empty corner and I started to laugh. I actually laughed at myself a few times because it happened several more times. But then I realized something important. Even if your environment shifts, your habits may not shift with them, right? The trash can moved to a new area, new environment. But I had a habit of going where it had sat for like months. So this reminded me also when I moved to a new home a few years ago, I had left work and I drove straight to my old neighborhood. Like literally. And I had to stop and turn around because hey, you no longer live here, girl. My brain was following this internal map that it knew automatically. I didn't shift with the change. You know what I mean? It's like I just went on autopilot. This is what my brain knew to do. And it happened again today, where my paper towel holder was yesterday. My hand stopped, like mid-air. My hand stopped. And I said, this is pattern behavior. Because the old pattern, it was still active in my mind, just like driving to the old neighborhood. That map that my mind knew automatically. And that map needs time to update sometimes, right? So the map that sent me to that corner to get the paper towel holder that sent me to that corner of the trash can, it needed time to update. So I laugh a lot. And it's just who I am. I love to laugh. But I was laughing in these instances because there is a steady stream of awakenings happening within me, like literally every day. And I get to contemplate them and then share them with you, which is really cool. Because these moments are not small, they reveal a larger truth about how the brain works. So let's talk about it, what the brain is doing. Because I know you've experienced this, haven't you? Haven't you moved something somewhere? And then you're like, why do I keep going to this place? I've already moved it. I know you have. Because your brain builds pathways, it's based on repetition. So every repeated behavior strengthens this neural root in our brain. And your brain uses these routes, root routes, potato, potato, okay. Your brain uses these routes because they can serve energy and then they create this predictability. And this is called procedural memory. And procedural memory is automatic, it's something that happens without conscious thought. That's why I was able to just go to the space where the trash can was. It was just automatic. It's like it's always there. Or even driving to a place I lived for so long, and then, like, wait a minute, you don't live there anymore. Even today, like with the paper towel holder, that is procedural memory. It's just something that happened without conscious thought. Your brain is not checking whether this is something that's relevant, something active, something that's true. Uh-uh. Your brain is only checking whether it's familiar, right? So that's why a woman can leave a relationship. Okay, let's go here. Why a woman can leave a relationship and still react to new situations as if she's still dealing with the old one. Come on. That's why you can heal emotionally, but you can still expect disappointment somewhere. I talked about it on another podcast. How you can be in a new place. Things can even be going great for you, but you're still like, when is the shoe gonna drop? When is something gonna happen? When, you know, this way somebody can move into a new season. But even in a new season, they're following the habits from the previous one or even the previous version of yourself because every time you elevate, it requires a new version of yourself. And a lot of times the environment changes, our life changes, our assignment changes, but that internal pathway, that predictability, those automatic thoughts, they try to remain the same. They do. Your brain is just following what is practiced over time. But just like I shifted, you can shift. Just like I left, and even if you do it several times, there's an awakening that'll happen and say, hey, I'm not there anymore. I'm not that person anymore, I'm not in that place anymore. Something has moved. This is why scripture tells us in Romans 12, too, to be transformed by the renewal of your mind. Renewal is neurological. Renewal is literally rewiring of our mind, our brain. There's nothing abstract about renewal. Okay? And you can love God deeply. You can, and I know you do, but you can still reach for old patterns because those pathways that held those patterns were created long before your healing began. I know you're in a season of healing. I know you're working on yourself, but those old pathways were there before this point, right? You can be in a better season and still behave like you're in the old one because your brain is trying to protect you. It protects you with these familiar responses, these automatic responses. You can grow and mature and still have moments where your internal reflex goes to what's true. So think about a reflex. You hit what is that thing that hits your knee and it automatically like kicks out your leg. So there's an internal reflex of what used to be true. It automatically just does it. This is what used to be true. It doesn't take into account what is true now. Okay. And it's no shame in this. I share to help you become more aware. This is about awareness because awareness is a doorway to change. Amen. So when I stopped myself in the kitchen and said, like, wait a minute, it's not there anymore. And I literally said out loud, turn, it's not there anymore. Turn. And that was the moment the rewiring started to begin for me. Turn. Transformation happens in the turn. Amen. Not an instant change, not in the absence of old habits, the absence of old patterns. It's the awareness. The awareness, the turn. It's like, wait a minute. I noticed this about me. Now I am making a decision to turn. Amen. Your brain learns through repeated correction. Your nervous system stabilizes through consistent choices. Amen. Your habits shift through intentional redirection. Repeat. Stable. Intentional. Every time I turn towards the new trash can, that was me strengthening a new pathway. Does that make sense? Every time I reach for the new place where the paper towel holder now sits, because I did it a few times today, but I train my mind to follow the updated route. I'm going to the new place. I'm following the updated route. So even if you go to the old place, even if you reach for something that's over, even if your brain goes to that old pathway, you get to choose a new direction with full awareness. That's the thing. Because it's not about perfecting, it's about being aware. Because one thing for certain, and this is science, old responses will weaken when new responses are repeated. I'll say that again. Old responses weaken when new responses are repeated. And this is how we break those emotional patterns. This is how trauma patterns heal. This is how our identity becomes stable. We're not double-minded. We don't know who we are. We don't know where we're going. This is how our mind becomes renewed, as it says in Romans 12, 2. Repeated responses, new responses. So you're not failing if you find yourself returning to old thoughts. And I don't want you to shame yourself. I want you to see how human it is. So when you have those old responses, old reactions, you're not responding, you're reacting, you know. Or when you are experiencing that tension between what's wired inside your brain and your actual environment, that internal wiring and the external change, because change is happening outside of you, right? But your internal wiring may need to catch up. That map, that outdated map, it may need to catch up and be updated. But there is hope in this because your brain remembers what your life has outgrown. Your brain does not stay stuck. Your brain is malleable. I love that. Like we are so dope. God made us in such an amazing way. So you don't have to be stuck anywhere. You are constantly in the process of retraining your mind. We have the ability to retrain our mind. You can interrupt that old route. You can pause, you can redirect, you can turn. You can say, it's not there anymore. That pattern is not mine anymore. Those thoughts are not true anymore. I'm not that woman anymore. How about that? I'm not her anymore. Amen. This is how the journey of becoming unfolds. It happens with one interruption at a time, one decision at a time, one turn at a time. Amen. And all of this happens with awareness. So I want you to reflect. I want you to reflect. I want you to do some journaling. I want you to sit with yourself and ask yourself, what old pathways am I still using right now? Even though my life has moved on, even though I'm not in that place anymore, even though I'm not with that person anymore, even though that situation is over, whatever it is, what old pathways am I still using? What am I repeating? What am I still believing, even though I'm not there? Ask yourself that. Think about that. And go a little deeper. Challenge those thoughts with truth. What truth has God spoken that you need to put into practice and not just believe? And I want you to put it into practice because you have to repeat something. You have to change through repeated correction, repeated new thoughts. That's how your brain learns. That's how you shift your habits. It's an internal thing, it's internal redirection. So it's one thing to believe, and believe is good. The Bible talks about demons believing and shuddering, like, ooh, they shivering. I said shuddering. They shiver. It's like they know God exists, but maybe it is shuddering. Shudder. I don't know. Y'all tell me in the comments. But you have to put it into practice, what you say you believe. Amen. So if I say I believe that God is real, God is true, that he is who he says he is, that he is the rewarder of those who diligently seek him, I'm going to live in such a way each day as if I trust him. So I'm not falling out over everything because I believe that he is who he says he is. And I believe that he's going to reward me because I diligently seek him. So I can just pause, I can wait, and I can trust. If he tells me that I am the head and not the tail, if he tells me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I need to practice speaking life over myself, speaking those things that are the truth of what he's spoken and not negative, not work against what he's saying. You know, I will have everything God says, I will. God directs my path. He delights in my way. He will perfect those things which concern me. These are ways that you can put God's truth into practice and you can say it repeatedly so that your brain can start believing it. And then I want you to think about where do you need to pause? So ask yourself, where do I need to pause and turn instead of just allowing the old reflex to guide you? Because it will, you know, it's gonna do what it does. So where do you need to pause and turn? Just think about that. Where have you been allowing these old thoughts, these old patterns, these old reflexes to guide you? So these questions just create awareness, right? Awareness creates choice. Amen. Choice creates transformation. It all goes together. And I am so here for this. I am so here for self-reflection and leaning into other levels of healing, standing in the power and the authority and the agency that I have in my own life that God has given me. So having a choice is huge. You get to decide. The Lord is so good and gracious in that way, and in that choice, transformation comes. Amen. I want you to understand yourself with more compassion and clarity. That's what I want. I want you to see yourself the way the Lord sees you. And I thank you so much for joining me today. My prayer is that this episode gave you language for what you feel, insight for what you're facing, and confidence for the steps you need to take next. Because you need to take some steps next, okay? God is not finished with your story, and he is faithful to complete the work that he started in you. Amen. All right. So see the show notes for updates, for resources, and for ways that you can share and support this episode. I thank you so much. And until we meet again, remember to live, love, and be authentic. This is Coach Tower, your favorite shifty story coach.