3 Hidden Stress Patterns Keeping You Stuck w/ Cara Barone

You’re doing everything “right”… so why do you still feel stuck?

You’ve learned the strategies. You’ve invested in the programs. You’ve seen some success. But no matter what you do, it feels like you keep hitting the same ceiling.

In this episode of Business Over Cocktails, I’m sitting down with someone who has played a huge role in my own journey, my first mentor and business coach Cara Barone, to talk about what’s actually keeping high performers stuck.

And it’s not what you think.

We get into the deeper layer of growth that most people avoid: your nervous system, your belief patterns, and the subtle ways you might be holding yourself back without even realizing it.

This conversation felt very full circle for me, and honestly… it explains so much about why growth can feel so hard even when you’re doing all the “right” things.

Episode Highlights:

• Why strategy is not your real problem
• The low-level stress most high performers live in
• The pattern of “I want this… but I am not doing it”
• How your body can actually block your next level
• Why you might be shrinking yourself without realizing it
• The connection between stress, identity, and success
• What it actually takes to expand your capacity for more

Chapters:

02:45 Cara’s background and multiple reinventions

07:15 Why mindset has always been the real driver of growth

09:45 The moment everything shifted into nervous system work

13:45 Identifying your unique strengths and owning them

17:45 Why high performers still feel stuck

21:45 Shrinking yourself to stay relatable

24:45 The nervous system “baseline” explained

27:45 Why success can feel unsafe

30:45 The belief that “I’m missing something”

33:45 Balancing corporate and business growth

38:45 How to step into your next level

Connect with Cara Barone:

Instagram: @carabarone

Tik Tok: @carabarone

Work with Cara: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YGdGQyQaFzLsbYzowHVEqoeNczbYQQpoijjRxx8MH-s/edit?tab=t.0

Cara’s Linktree: https://linktr.ee/cara.barone?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio

Release fear of rejection & step into confident visibility that attracts premium opportunities - https://go.carabaroneaiconsulting.net/fear-of-rejection-release-discounted?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio

Let’s Stay Connected:
→ Follow Lauren on Instagram: www.instagram.com/laurennajar
→ Learn more or work with me: www.laurennajar.com
→ Follow Business Over Cocktails on IG: www.instagram.com/businessovercocktails
→ Attend Growth & Connect retreats & events: www.instagram.com/growthandconnect

🎧 Subscribe & Review:
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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Hey there and welcome to Business Over Cocktails. I'm Laura Najar, your host and hype woman, bringing you real talk about entrepreneurship. This is the podcast where we dive into the bold whys, the messy middles, and the game-changing aha moments that lead to success. You'll hear unfiltered stories from entrepreneurs plus bite-sized solo episodes inside the Business Chaser series, where we cut through the noise and get straight to what actually drives sales, visibility, and growth. So whether you're here to get fired up or finally feel seen in your business journey, pull up a seat, pour your favorite drink, and let's have a real conversation. Hi everyone, welcome back to Business Over Cocktails. I'm Lauren Najar, and today I have one of my favorite people that I met in this business industry. Probably the first person I ever met, my first mentor. I've worked with her multiple times. And just like World Traveler 2, we're gonna get into all the things. I have Kara Broni here with me today. And I'm just excited to like get to talk to her. This is like a full circle moment for me because again, she was my first business coach. I know that I was probably one of your first clients as well. I was in like a group program with you. It was my biggest investment ever at that point, which was like$1,500, which is crazy to think about. I forgot. But welcome. I'm so glad that you're doing this. And thank you for having this combo with me.

SPEAKER_00 1:37

Yeah, I'm so excited. We don't know where we're gonna go. So it's really exciting.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

Yeah. And I just kind of want to talk about like your business journey. And while I know a lot about it, but first of all, just introduce yourself, what you do, and we'll kind of get into all the things.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

Yeah. Okay, guys. Hi, I'm Kara. Yes, World Traveler. Just moved back from Australia. I'm currently in Tampa, Florida. So I guess I would dub myself a neurostrategist now, really focusing on slaying stress, working with the body, the nervous system, and deep into like mindset and subconscious work now. But that's been an evolution, which I'm excited to share. And I think anyone who's reinvented themselves many, many times is going to love this episode because that's what I've done. I'm one of those, I would say, like multi-passionate kind of ADHD people where I do something for like two, three years. And then I'm like, oh, love that. Great time in my life, but like what's next? So that's been my evolution. I have a background in marketing and working at LinkedIn in the tech world for 11 years and in Australia and London and the US. So been around, been in this coaching industry for a hot minute, eight years, nine years, crazy something crazy. So yeah, excited to share everything today.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Yeah, you definitely have reinvented yourself because even in the time that I've known you, you've done like you were my business coach, right? So, like all the traditional marketing and traditional social media and content and all the things, and then that you've evolved, right? Like not necessarily pivoted, but you've evolved with like what you're passionate about too. So, and I know even before me, you were then getting a health coaching certificate. That's kind of how it all started.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

Yeah. Yeah. So I was living in London at the time. I had about three, four years at LinkedIn. So I was doing consulting there, which I loved, super passionate about that. I had a background in social media, like guys, literally before Instagram was created. I was doing like for headquarters and 64 different offices of social media strategy. So it's a natural evolution. But yeah, when I moved to London, I actually got really sick. And so I was just finding ways to get better. And so I stumbled upon health coaching. And I'm like, what is this health coaching component? And it really wasn't about what you eat, it was around your mindset around it and how everyone was so different. So I took a 12-month certification in that. But at the same time, as I was selling that, had so much of my own health issues at the time. I'm like, I don't care what your abs look like. Like, I care if you have energy to get out of bed and are doing the thing that really lights you up. So that's when I evolved and took the combination of the coaching, the Instagram, and then my background in consulting and social media, and was like, I'm gonna help corporate women bring their skills online. And that's what I did for a few years.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

Yeah. And that's we connected shortly after that because you were no longer doing like the health thing. You went through your whole certification, I believe, right? Like you finished that whole thing, but then went into business coaching. And I feel like when I look back at anytime you've coached me and anytime I worked with you, like it's always been coaching, like yes, you've given me strategy and stuff in the past, but it's always been more impactful with like the mindset and all of the things you've shared. Like I still do some of the exercises you've shared with us, like the CT F A R whatever. Oh yeah, I do that still to this day. Um, core values exercises, like I still do that all of the time. And I think that's like that's the most impactful thing. So like I think now where you're at and all the things that you've done, looking back, like it's always been kind of a thread for you.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

It was yeah, yeah, it was always a thread to do deep mindset work first because I'm the person who can overthink, self-doubt, go back and forth, procrastinate, really due to, you know, perfectionism. And I look at my own patterns over the years, and especially in corporate, I would be like, hem and ha, like, should I do the strategy? Should I not? And so it was never, I would tell you though, it was a strategy problem. I would always say, No, no, no, it's a strategy. It's a I would always blame it on something external. And every time I came back home to myself, I'm like, it's never that. It's really your belief system. Everything in the whole world of your own world comes down to your belief system. So I noticed that these were my patterns, and like the times that I really skyrocketed was always about building my own self-trust.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

I love that. And again, like one of the things that I always remember is like one of the things you said to me very early on was like, what is that next level for yourself? Like, who's Lauren 2.0? I remember you asking me that. And like I literally still think of that too to this day. I'm like, whenever I'm like stuck or just feeling like like I'm tired of my own BS, like what does 2.0 look like? And I I literally think of your like voice in my head. So like, but again, like that's how good you've been with mindset. It's just you've never called yourself mindset coach or anything like that. Like now you have named that, and that's what you kind of embrace. So you were like a business marketing coach for a really long time. Like that's what you made yourself known as. When did you start to pivot away from that?

SPEAKER_00 7:10

Yeah, so during the pandemic, I was like really deep into that. Probably some of the most fun years of my life was the program. You, I don't think you were in this because you're past that point, five-figure lunch break, because that was like what I just so remember. If you are at corporate and you're like trying to build your business in the pockets of your time, I had this like moment in San Francisco, and then someone booked me for a podcast. And I was like, I only have my lunch break to do this right now. So I would like sneak into rooms and do podcasts and do my business truly on my lunch break. So that was so fun and such a deep embodiment of who I was at the time. And then, you know, when I was matching and surpassing my corporate strategy, and I think also helping women, you know, really beyond that, I was like, oh, I just don't feel like this really resonates as much anymore. But the real thing, the real pivot was my own health. So I was living in Australia and my health was still really bad. So for everyone listening, I had um like very chronic fatigue due to mold poisoning. But if I'm really honest, while those all were the straws that broke the camel's back, I had chronic stress my whole life. Like I was the woman who could push herself past any limits because I just shut my body down. I was like, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. And you can do that until you can't. So it was the combination of living probably in some chronic stress pattern my whole life, combined with the crazy health issues, combined with a breakup, combined with the pandemic being my myself in Australia. Like my body said no. Said, you're not getting out of bed for a while. No way, Jose. So due to just all of those things and all these health practitioners I'm working with, they said, You can't heal when you are in stress. I'm like, well, I'm not in stress. I don't I don't know. I don't have anxiety. And I was like, Oh, you can't help that person until like God was like, I'm gonna bedridden her until she realizes she is stressed. So that was it for me, truly. And then I I started learning nervous system and chronic fight or flight patterns and really going into the physiology and quite frankly, like the trauma responses that we push from. And I would never say I had like a traumatic childhood whatsoever, but it's like what really drove me wasn't necessarily from peace and purpose. It was like a lot of other things. And so then I got really intrigued and interested in the physiological chronic stress responses and the belief patterns that caused us to run on those. So I slowly, actually, probably not slowly, I burnt down like my 19,000 Instagram account. I like dead, I burnt it all down and I started over. And even that though has been a real evolution from then teaching only nervous system and somatic. And then I'm like, I'm bored by that because it was slow, it was very slow from a healing standpoint. And when I notice people start healing, it's a beautiful journey. But I love people to have, like you were saying, what is the 2.0, what is the 3.0, what's the thing God's placed on your heart? And then how do we just remove the like sabotage and the stress patterns that are blocking you from getting that thing versus just sitting and healing? So that's now where I'm at. I'm like, let's unblock money, let's unblock pressure, let's unblock procrastination.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

Yeah, I think it's come full circle to when we go back to like the health certification that you did. And now, like for me, like and again, knowing you for so long, like you have always been health conscious. I literally just started scratching the surface on like, you know, adrenals. Like I remember you talking about that. And that was even before Leah, who's a mutual friend of ours, like came into the picture, hair mineral analysis, like all of those things. Like I learned all of that from you. And so it's kind of made it's full circle to you, where like nervous system does have a lot to do with our health and how we scale our businesses and stress and those kinds of things. And it's now like you've taken the best of both worlds from like health and like your journey through your health journey, but then the success of your business because like one of my favorite things that I've ever worked with you in is that is the mastermind that we had during the pandemic. I think the pandemic had a lot to do with that and all the things we were all going through at the same time. But that was memorable as well because like you did elevate all of us. Like we were all at different levels, but you elevated all of us to like, you know, I look back at 2020 as well, and that's when my business really took off. You know, if I look back at that, and I think a lot of us can say that from that mastermind that you held. So again, it wasn't like you were giving a strategy every week. You were literally just like up leveling us to the next level, to the next level, to the next level, and just pushing us to what we're capable of. So I think like now it's it's just like so aligned with what you're doing is like not only are you elevating business owners who need that next level elevation, but doing it in a sustainable, conscious way because I think then rewind seven, eight years ago, everyone was launching. We had to do these crazy launches and like burnout and emails and all this stuff. And that was kind of the way of the world. And, you know, that burned me out too. And so now it's all about like the sustainability and how you can grow in your own individual way.

SPEAKER_00 12:37

Yeah. I think there's such full circle moments, and I love you saying this because I forget as you're like reflecting these things to me. I'm like, oh my gosh, I forgot. And for so many people listening to this, I'm like, you probably know deep down who you've always been, but maybe you forget part of yourself, right? Like, I forgot part of myself because I was investing in all these like strategy coaches and big launch strategies, and just so you start to be like, well, they make far more than me. Clearly, they have some answer that I don't have inside of me. I'm gonna do what they say. And somehow along the way, you wake up one day and you're like, I don't even remember who I am and what I'm passionate about. And so you really have to be reminded sometimes. And so thank you for reminding me that like everything's already inside of us. Like, and when we can tune out the rest of the world and really be like, you know, what is my purpose? What is my calling? What is my assignment right now? Because, and you know I've done this every time. I always leave with what are your gifts? Like, what are your gifts? What are your strengths? And you're gonna know because they light you up, not just you're good at it and you're like, I'm so bored by this. Like, if you don't have something that really makes you tick, then it's not the thing.

SPEAKER_01 13:46

I love that you just brought that up because I was literally going to say that next. Because one of the, again, like I I talk about all of these impacts you've had on me as in my business. Like another thing that I want everyone to know is like I started owning my unique gift of building relationships because of you. And you didn't come out and say it in such a dramatic way. And I think I I've shared this with you. We actually just had a conversation about this again, but I remember I was walking to I was walking to my nine to five because it wasn't the pandemic hadn't shut down yet, or like we didn't shut down yet. Because I remember I was walking outside, it was snowing, it was cold, I was walking to my job, and you were living in Australia at the time. So a lot of times I had to listen to your messages first thing in the morning for me to respond to you, so then you would get there when you woke up. So I remember talking to you, and we were working through something like mindset issues, and you just kind of said it in passing. You're like, but your special power, your special gift, or your secret sauce. Your secret sauce is connection and building relationships. And like in that moment, everything just like changed for me of like, no, I need to finally own this. I know I do this really well naturally, without having to have a strategy. It's just part of who I am. And so I know I've told many people about that and how you've brought that out of me. But that was really when I started to really own that and just like, that is my platform. That's what I want to be known for. It's something that comes effortlessly to me. And then it was really about finding my methodology of like, how do I teach this now? And so, like, I think that's also something you've always done really well. Is I haven't people called you this? I know I called you this, but I think that you shared this on Instagram a while ago that like you're like someone's fairy business godmother or something. Like, wasn't that about it?

SPEAKER_00 15:34

Oh now, though. That's fun.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

You're like a fairy godmother or something. I feel like I've seen that. Actually, you shared that a few years ago. But, anyways, either way, you have that special gift of then, yeah, seeing someone's special secret sauce and bringing that out of them. And again, it wasn't anything like monumental that you we were having this huge conversation. We were talking about something else, but you just kind of said that to me. And it from that moment, it just clicked for me. And I know that I can probably say that, and a lot of people can agree with me that you've done that for so many people too. You've just kind of made people realize their full potential.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

Thank you. That's so exciting. And we should talk about how that's flowed for you so naturally now. But, you know, I really wish I could tell someone how to do that because I think finding your brilliance, finding your gifts, and leading with that is the thing, right? It's a thing you monetize, it's the thing that lights you up. But I have to say it, it's like truly a gift from God because I just observe people. And I can just, it's like I could just see it, I can sense it, I can feel it. It's not like a I can give you three-step strategy necessarily to like pull that out a little bit, right? Like, you know, like the journaling queen, I love that stuff. But I think, you know, when you're really with someone, spend some time with them, you can observe their it factor. And I think the thing, especially with females, is we think our strengths aren't enough. That like, surely I guess I'm okay at, you know, community. But then we downplay them and we compare them to everyone else who's like, you know, 10 steps ahead of us there versus wait, I'm actually pretty good with that. Oh, not everyone has that gift. That's not easy, that's not flow state for everyone. And so I think that's where we really get caught up is we have to have awareness around it, but then actually double down and own it.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And something that I've I've battled with a lot over, especially though over the last couple of years, because of now being a mom and you know, balance is not a word. Like you just kind of like figure it out. But something that I think that you've talked a lot about in your content too is like, how do we increase that capacity for more without like burning ourselves out? And that's something I've really had to focus on the last couple of years. Because I think also too, if I look back at like what kept me stuck over the years was like, I didn't think I it's not that maybe like deserve is a good word. Like I didn't think I deserved to get to a certain level because I haven't excelled at X or Y or Z. And or like I can see people that are more successful than I am, and like, okay, well, I need to look like that. And I think like, and again, something that you've been seeing in your content is more about like the money, right? So like deserving of money, like, you know, we're waiting for something, or we think that we have to look a certain way, we have to sell something. And I think so. What do you see like with that? Like what when does that come up for people and why do people struggle with that?

SPEAKER_00 18:35

Yeah, so if someone has a desire to make more money, I never think it's about money. So I talk a lot about money because that's how people see it like manifest in their life. But usually what holds us back from the actual thing hitting our fake account, right? Whether that's clients, launching books, like whatever it is as female founders, it's really usually a self-concept issue. This is what I see with most people. As in, like you were just saying, I don't believe that I can have that, should have that. Because money is just a value exchange. So if you want someone to exchange, you know, that 10k or whatever, it's like, do I believe I can have the responsibility to help them get those results? Or that I can talk about capacity, right? I have the capacity to take on the five, 10, 15 clients right now with everything going on in my life. So I actually think it's deeply a self-concept around those different factors, or it's around what the money needs. So if I have a subconscious belief, like people are gonna leave me at that next level, I'm not gonna be accepted, right? The tribe's gonna kick me out. The people I love more than anything, they're not gonna get it. They're gonna frown upon me, they're gonna push me out. Like those rejection and abandonment wounds, we usually don't ever consciously say because we're like, no, we're cool showing up and saying what we're gonna say and be bold and be strong. But it's actually deep subconsciously what the money means to us and what it means it's going to cost us.

SPEAKER_01 20:09

That's something that I've I've worked on a lot in therapy is that I feel and I think I've I've definitely always been ambitious, but I know that confidence has been one of my issues. But another thing that I've realized over the last year is that I constantly shrink myself to be relatable to the people around me because there might not be people around me that understand what it is that I do. One of the things I've shared, I think maybe in another episode, but I have people around me that are like, okay, like don't work too hard or like make sure that you're taking time for yourself. And I get they're coming from a place of like they're worried. It's very uncommon for them to see maybe a business owner like myself, like doing, we don't know a lot of many, you know, entrepreneurs in our friend circle, family circle. Right. And I want to go to these people that are I'm very close with and talk about my celebrations or talk about my good things or my exciting things that are happening. But then I'm met with, oh, like just so you know you need to take a break or be careful or make sure that you take time for yourself. And it's not with malicious intent that they're saying that, but just very unfamiliar to them. And I think for again, a very long time, maybe even in the online space or just clients I've had or people I've surrounded myself with, or even just outside of like the online space, it's just I can see how I used to, I would really shrink myself to like again, like maybe I am not ready for that. Maybe I do need to stop, maybe I shouldn't be doing these calls, maybe I shouldn't be taking on more stuff. But then like you go back to that drive and those wants, and it's like, well, I want to do these things on the surface, so why am I not doing them? Yeah. And then that's kind of what I found for myself is like I keep shrinking. Like I just keep shrinking myself to be relatable or just to be making people more comfortable around me.

SPEAKER_00 21:59

Yeah. And what you just said is literally how you uncover a subconscious belief. So when you say, I want to, but, and you notice your patterns, right? Here's the vision, here's the thing you want. You know it. Like we all know deep down, even if you don't want to admit it, you know deep down the thing on your heart. The real thing, if you were to get so honest and maybe a little drunk, you tell your girlfriend, right? Like, this is this is actually what I want. But all so I want this, right? But and what happens is your nervous system puts on the brakes because it means this is not safe. This is gonna have really bad ramifications on my life. Again, even you're like, well, that's I don't care if they're mad at me or they're gonna leave me. Like, I don't care consciously. But if your actions do not align up with your beliefs and your desires, there's a subconscious, sneaky belief from your past, usually the programs of zero to 14, that is coming up and shrinking is a huge one.

SPEAKER_01 23:01

Yeah. And it's funny that you say that because again, like this is something I've talked about is like growing up with my mom, and there's something with like maybe she wanted to be successful and she wasn't, she definitely was unhappy with herself. But something that again, I've realized over the last few years is like, man, like I really had that belief of like wanting to do differently, wanting to do things outside of the box. And yeah, like that has all come up for me over these last few years of like, yeah, I can see where that's coming from. And that's something too that like even with my clients now, like I have a lot of clients who are high achieving, who have had success, who have six-figure businesses, who constantly sign clients, but they're just stuck and they're not happy and they want more. They don't know how to get there. So in that way, though, because you mentioned, like, okay, you have this block, like, yes, we can uncover it by, you know, talking through it or just kind of discovering it. But what do you, I guess, like what are some tips you can give someone who's maybe like kind of feeling like that right now?

SPEAKER_00 24:03

Yeah. So I believe there's two things. So I work on two like concepts, I would say, with my clients, is first and foremost, learning how to feel safe and more peace and more joy in your body and not work from fight or flight. So, what most of these, you know, six, seven-figure people, they create from a level of scarcity or fight or flight. And so then your nervous system, if you think of it as set like a thermometer. So I keep my home at 75, right? Like I don't like it that cold. I'm in Florida. So if you think of your nervous system like that, if you leave, you come back and it's still at 75. You could turn it up and you can turn it down, but there's a set point. It always stays there, right? It doesn't matter if you leave or you come or you go. Your nervous system's the same. If you are set to like a mild, low-grade stress all the time, you can go to a breath work class and feel good. You can go to yoga, whatever, but you come back and you go back to that buzz. So you will do everything to sabotage yourself to come back to that buzz all the time. You'll create from this buzz. So that's safety. We don't want it, but it's safety. Your brain is like, I just need to keep you safe. I don't care about your anxiety, you're shut down, you're lying on the bed. I don't care. That's safe. So it's all pattern recognition. And you know, of course, I teach a lot of like nervousism regulation and neurotools to okay, urine, high stress anxiety, use this to bring you back to that window of tolerance or decrease your stress bucket. That's so good. So you can start to feel safe in your body. But if I could tell one thing to all high performers, and you're not gonna do it, I know you're not gonna do it. Maybe 1% of you do, and please tell me if you do. But actually practice feeling joy. So when I started a new neuroplasticity training about a year and a half ago, we had to practice happy memories. And I was like, oh got a million happy memories, great. But I couldn't hold it for more than 20, 30 seconds. A negative thought would come in, or like, yeah, that memory is good, but then this happened, or oh, it was too blow. Oh my gosh, that pattern was right back online. So the more I practiced one or two happy memories over and over and over, and my body slowly was like, wait, you can stay here for a minute now. You can stay here for two minutes now. So, what you're actually starting to practice is more of what people will call the ventral vagal state, which is more of your connected state, your safety state, your happy state. So, why I say all this is what you were just saying is your people are like, hey, I make all this money, I can do all these things, but I'm never really quite happy or joyful or sabotaged. It's because of this nervous system baseline state. So that's part one. It's so important. It is so important. So we can enjoy it, we can enjoy the success, we can have fulfillment with a success. Success without fulfillment is depression, right? Really is. The second part is when I say, okay, I want this goal, like you were just saying, but here's the things I keep doing. What I am a little detective with my clients, it's like, okay, what's the problem in your life? And where does it actually stem from? Where did you you were saying about your mom, right? Where did you learn that root belief? And so I don't talk about it. It's actually less talking about it. It's more understanding your neural pathway, how your brain is perceiving problems, and how it loves to recreate your problem over and over and over and again. So we identify those core memories and we actually neutralize the trigger in your body. So we see that memory, oh, your body's going to fight or flight, or it's going to shut down. And I do different techniques to neutralize the past. So your brain stops recycling the past and the sabotage, and the future can start pulling you instead.

SPEAKER_01 28:12

Isn't it so crazy? Like, even again, just like going back eight, nine, 10 years. And I reflect on this a lot, especially just in my own journey about how like business was easy when you just thought you needed a checklist. And you can just like, I just need to post this many times and do all this stuff. But I joke all the time about how far I've come. And now I just feel like so woo and so like into like people who have known me for this amount of time, like they'll laugh. They're like Lauren in 2018 would have been like laughing in your face because that girl did not believe mindset or anything about this stuff at all. But that's truly what it is. Like it at some point you're gonna learn a lot of knowledge. You're gonna have enough knowledge for you to make a lot of money, but clearly there's something, you know, going on underneath somewhere as to why you're not doing that. It's not more knowledge, it's not more stuff, it's not more of anything. It is you. And it's the inner workings of you, your health, your mind. Yeah. There's a reason why people don't get to that state that they want to be in or hit that goal that they want.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

A million percent. And I wouldn't even say it's woo, although, like, as you heard me talk, I'm a total goggle, like I'm faith girl, right? But it's neuroscience. It is literally like everything I'm actually saying is just neuroscience and how the brain holds on to like perceived challenges and problems.

SPEAKER_01 29:44

Yeah. Even just talking about like mindset in general for even in my own journey, like it's crazy. And I think there's some people still out there too that still believe that if it works for them, that's great. But I think like if you're ever in a place where, you know, again, you want more, but there's some something stuck and you can't put your finger on it. And I think again, I think I had that realization maybe working with you at one point where I'm like, I I feel like I'm missing something. Like I keep missing something. I'm missing something, there's something isn't working. Yeah. And anytime I feel like that, that always comes back to a mindset or how I'm thinking about things or something within myself. It's never like the missing piece is never a strategy, at least in my in my story.

SPEAKER_00 30:30

So, Lauren, like it's so funny because that's what I used to say to myself so much. I'm missing something, missing something. I've heard you say, I've heard so many clients say it, and that's actually just shame. Hmm. Right? What's wrong with me that I haven't figured out or gotten this thing yet?

SPEAKER_01 30:49

I love that. That's a good way to think about that. Yeah, because it's like, why am I not here? Why am I not further away?

SPEAKER_00 30:54

Well, it's me. It's me. It's my it's it's literally me, right? It's it can't have to be me. It's my problem, it's always me.

SPEAKER_01 31:01

Yeah. One of the things I wanted to ask though is so when we started working together like the first two months, I feel like you were in a different country every month.

SPEAKER_00 31:12

Do you remember? When in London I was. It was my glory days. That was so fun.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

You traveled so much. And when you were talking about stress just now and like all the stress that you went through and all these things, it's like you were and you weren't just like traveling around London or the UK. You were like in Africa. Oh, yeah, I remember that. Yeah, you're right. Because we had like a coaching call and you're like, I don't know if the signal's gonna be good. And you were literally in Africa.

SPEAKER_00 31:38

I was in Tanzania. I remember that.

SPEAKER_01 31:41

Yeah. So as far as like travel, and yes, you travel a lot because you were in Australia, you travel back to the states where your family is. Do you see travel more so in your life coming up?

SPEAKER_00 31:53

Yes. I think travel is just I love different cultures. So I think as an American, we really live in this sheltered bubble and we think America is the whole center of the world. And it's really hard to have different lens and different perspective when we can never put ourselves in some someone else's shoes. And even that is pretty like ignorant for me to say. Cause like we never can really put ourselves in someone else's shoes, right? But it has created and just so minor, like I barely touched it, right? Like to be able to see different perspectives, even when huge events are going on in the US, how other people perceive it, how other people see it, and how other people are like, we might think it's the biggest deal in the whole world, but they're like, you know, this kind of racism, discrimination, whatever it might be, we deal with every day. So for me, that just really lights me up to talk to so many people from different walks of life. Of course, the food and experiencing that, but I just really I love people and I love like seeing different walks of life. Now that I'm back in America, I think that's way easier than Australia because travel in Australia is damn far everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 33:09

Yeah, and that's it's so crazy. So for people that don't know, like you were in London for a while and then you were in Australia for for a while too, and then this year you moved back to the States. How is it being back?

SPEAKER_00 33:23

It's great. Like when I first got back, I was really it felt weird because I no longer I mean, I was always an American, but I was gone for eight and a half years. Like I hadn't had a car, my own car for 10 years because I was always in cities. So there is this adjustment period, like I don't fit in or I don't kind of resonate with a lot of things anymore. And, you know, being gone for almost a decade and coming back when all your friends are married and kids and at such different stages. That has definitely challenges, but I'm close to my sisters and my niece and my nephew, and that's really fueled me. And I feel like I can jump on a plane and just see people. Like you're not far. We keep saying, like, well, we did meet up that one time in Chicago. We did, yeah. Yeah. And um, our mutual friend, like Leah, she was in Miami recently. So there's just people everywhere, and things are close. So that proximity is really fun.

SPEAKER_01 34:19

It is, and it's it's really cool because you know, even especially I have a client who's coming to New York in October, and we've been working together for five years. She lives in London, and that just feels like, yeah, I can just hop on a plane and go meet you finally. Like, yes, I can do that in London, but London's 10 hours away from me. New York is a two-hour plane ride. So we talked about like finally meeting, and it's so fun to like have that opportunity, especially like you said. Like you now you are so close to so many people. You have finally met some people in person too, like some of our, like again, mutual people that we know. I got I got really excited when you met some of the people in person too. It's so cool. The other thing I wanted to talk about is you worked at LinkedIn for a really long time when you started your business. And I think, you know, again, some of the people that probably will listen to this will wonder about that too, because I feel like a lot of times people are still in their nine to fives, or there is still shame around that. There is still shame around that being full time or whatever it is. But like you also then traveled. Like I just mentioned how you were in a different country, like every month. I know a lot of times with LinkedIn you did travel for LinkedIn. But what would you say? Like, I mean, how did you build that? Because you did that for an extended period of time too. Like you, you could have probably left at any point, but you decided to keep it.

SPEAKER_00 35:44

Yeah. So I all in, and this was before I started my business, but all in, I was at a LinkedIn for 11 years. So that's like 11 years, three different countries. That's definitely, yeah, a very long time, extensive. So, what the factors I thought about, because there were many years where my online salary was exceeding my corporate salary, but my actually was probably maybe not as helpful for everyone. But because I was going through a period of like a lot of health issues and a lot of sickness, I leveraged a lot of like health benefits and the salary to heal. And I did have a lot of shame around it because, you know, all my clients I coached basically out of their jobs, right? Like all my clients were full-time. I was coaching people making way more money than me. And I actually like, I had this journal somewhere, and it was called like my healing journey. And it was like LinkedIn fuels my health. So I really had that mindset that there wasn't shame around this. It was actually the thing that was fueling my health and helping me to get better. So those were the some of the factors that I decided on as I was like evaluating. And quite frankly, you know, when you're able to work remote, you know, at the time I know a lot of people are going back in, but I didn't work remote for a very long time. Like I juggled it all for a very, very long time. But when we were able to work remote, I was able to juggle a lot more of that balance and also like different hours with like early morning client calls and then like LinkedIn at different hours. So there was a lot of wonderful flexibility there for me.

SPEAKER_01 37:20

Yeah, I think because yeah, you were always on a different time zone because I remember then our mastermind calls for me, they were 3 p.m. afternoon, but they were like 7 a.m. Eurotime in Australia. Yeah. And then the same thing with London too. I think that, you know, I I don't know, I feel like the time difference isn't that bad, but I remember doing it like in the morning or afternoon, and that would be like after your work day in like for that day. So I think that's another thing too that I've tried to tell people is like this could all just be another stream of income for you. Like it's not like, oh, I have this nine to five and stability and whatever, like I'm ashamed of it. It's like, well, no, like it's you need to have that sometimes, and it's okay. And then there's also people who choose to stay. Kind of like how you've reframed it as well. But sometimes people like, no, like I like the security it provides, and I like that I get to have this side quest and kind of like do this too. Hopefully, I mean, it's funny to look back on it because I know that I was ashamed of it for a really long time. Because again, like it may be because I haven't had a nine to five for a while that I don't see it as much. But I remember people would just be like, Oh, you have a nine to five, and then like immediately want to sell me something because they think that I'm not, you know, as successful or I'm making enough money because I had to leave my nine to five. Right. And that's just that's so crazy. So are you still at LinkedIn? I don't think I know that you left. When did you leave?

SPEAKER_00 38:45

I left when I moved back here.

SPEAKER_01 38:46

Okay, so that's recent. Yeah. Yeah. I yeah, I did not know that.

SPEAKER_00 38:51

Yeah, I didn't really post about it. I don't know why. I probably will at some point, but yeah, there's some things. I'm actually going back to Australia soon. So kept a little bit in the hush.

SPEAKER_01 39:01

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I knew you were going back to Australia because I had asked you if you're gonna be in New York for something, but oh right, yeah. Mm-hmm. But no, that's cool. And yeah, I mean, again, you didn't make having LinkedIn, you would share about it. You told all your clients about it. We all knew that you had a job, but I don't I mean, it again, you can make it a thing. You don't have to make it a thing.

SPEAKER_00 39:23

Totally, yeah. I don't think actually anyone on the internet knew at some point. Like when I was obviously doing like the five-figure lunch break, I very much showed that. But after a while, no one knew. And it didn't really matter. It's just how you feel about it yourself.

SPEAKER_01 39:36

Yeah, for sure. So, last thing I want to ask you is what would you say to someone who really desires a next level for themselves and they just can't figure it out how to get there.

SPEAKER_00 39:51

You don't have to figure out how to get there. You have to be really clear about where there is. Hmm. And when you have that clarity and then trust that life is happening for you and then everything's unfolding for you. Like, I have these really huge visions and I know what it looks like. I'm open to it changing because I know that like God can probably like, well, not probably, definitely has way bigger visions than even I can think or imagine. So the vision can be bigger, but like where my current vision is, I don't know how to get there. But I know every day the right people are coming into my life, the right strategies, the right mindset, the right framework. So I I just know and I decide. Every day I decide that that's what's happening. Everything's working for me in life. And so, with that, the right things will just start showing up, and you're training your brain to see what is right, what is working versus all the things that aren't. And then every day, like you said earlier, when you are thinking about, you know, should I invest in this or that? Or, you know, should I go for a walk or not? Should I go to the gym? Should I post this or that? You don't post from your current self, you post from your future self. Ooh, I like that a lot. So the daily decisions from your future self.

SPEAKER_01 41:13

Oh, I like that a lot. I actually yesterday had asked myself, what would my future self do? And I do that a lot when I'm in conflict or when I have to do something uncomfortable. And when I think of my future self, it's like this is an easy decision. She would just do it. Right. And then yeah. So it would be something like that.

SPEAKER_00 41:30

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 41:31

How can we connect with you?

SPEAKER_00 41:33

You can find me at my name, Kara Baroni, on Instagram. I also am becoming a TikTok star, so I just started that. So you can find me on TikTok. I found it suddenly such a fun, like very freeform expressive platform, which I never could care less about, but you can find me there to start.

SPEAKER_01 41:54

I am still not on TikTok. I do not own one. You know what? It's funny because I have an account that my friends will send me videos to, and I'm still like user with a bunch of numbers. So I'm definitely like, I look like spam. Yeah. Basically. I know.

SPEAKER_00 42:09

I was like that still a few, everyone's like sending me things. I'm like, I don't go on TikTok. And then I just decided I do.

SPEAKER_01 42:14

Okay. Well, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. This was so cool. Cause for me, like I said, it was a full circle moment and got to reflect on some things in my journey, but it was so cool to just have you on. And again, always so grateful for you. You clearly have seen the impact you've had on me and all the things I still remember. So thank you so much for coming.

SPEAKER_00 42:34

I love it. Well, thanks for having me. Thanks everyone for listening and Lauren. This was so fun seeing all the things I just don't remember. So thank you.

SPEAKER_01 42:42

And Kara will be back later this week with an episode of The Business Chaser. And make sure you tune in for that. Thanks everyone. Thanks for tuning in to another episode of Business Over Cocktails, where real stories and bold business moves come to life. If this episode lit something up in you, share it with a friend, tag me at Laurenajar, or the podcast page at Business Over Cocktails. Make sure to leave a quick review as well. It helps more than you know. Until next time, keep chasing what matters and building the business that feels like you. Cheers.