The Moment She Found Her Purpose in Serving Others w/ Alyssa Gawlinski

You didn’t plan to become the person others lean on. It usually starts with a moment that changes everything.

In this episode, I sit down with Alyssa Gawlinski to talk about how personal loss and experiences with cancer shaped the path she’s on today. What started as unexpected moments led her into deep involvement with organizations like Fighting Pretty, Girls on the Run, and the Boys and Girls Club, supporting women and young girls through moments that require connection, support, and guidance.

They also get into the parts people don’t always talk about. The loneliness that can come with grief, what it feels like to walk alongside cancer without fully understanding it, and how relationships can either fall away or show up in ways you never expected. This conversation is a real look at how connection, community, and shared experience can change the way you move through life.

It’s not about deciding to be a “serving” person. It’s about what life puts in front of you and how you choose to show up because of it.

This episode will challenge you to look at your own experiences and ask what they’re shaping you into.

So if you’ve ever wondered how the hardest moments in your life can lead you to something more meaningful, this is the conversation to listen to.

Chapters:

00:40 Why Alyssa got into nonprofit work

02:00 How Fighting Pretty came into her life

04:00 Getting involved with Girls on the Run

06:40 The impact of showing up for kids

08:40 The reality of connection and community

11:40 Why being of service matters

14:40 The role of support during hard seasons

18:40 Navigating cancer, grief, and connection

22:40 How relationships shift in hard seasons

26:40 Turning pain into purpose

30:40 Life changes and finding direction

34:40 Processing grief and personal growth

39:40 Why therapy changed everything

41:40 Core values that guide Alyssa’s life

44:40 What impact looks like long term

48:40 How to start making a difference

50:40 Where to connect with Alyssa

Connect with Alyssa:

Instagram: @alyssag28

Instagram: @buildwithalyssa

LinkedIn: @alyssa-gawlinski

Let’s Stay Connected:
→ Follow Lauren on Instagram: www.instagram.com/laurennajar
→ Learn more or work with me: www.laurennajar.com
→ Follow Business Over Cocktails on IG: www.instagram.com/businessovercocktails
→ Attend Growth & Connect retreats & events: www.instagram.com/growthandconnect

🎧 Subscribe & Review:
Love the episode? Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share with a friend who needs a business boost and a good chat over a cocktail.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Hey there, and welcome to Business Over Cocktails. I'm Lauren Najar, your host and hype woman, bringing you real talk about entrepreneurship. This is the podcast where we dive into the bold whys, the messy middles, and the game-changing aha moments that lead to success. You'll hear unfiltered stories from entrepreneurs plus bite-sized solo episodes inside the Business Chaser series, where we cut through the noise and get straight to what actually drives sales, visibility, and growth. So whether you're here to get fired up or finally feel seen in your business journey, pull up a seat, pour your favorite drink, and let's have a real conversation. Hi everyone, welcome back to Business Over Cocktails. I'm Lauren Najar, and today I have Alyssa Galinski. She works for Finishing Chicago, but that's probably not where you know her from necessarily. You probably know her from like all of the other things that she does. So she's doer of all the things. That was how I was instructed to introduce her. But she's involved with Fighting Pretty, which I think you would be known for that. I think that that's how I know you or what I see. And then Girls on the Run, you're involved with, and also Boys and Girls Club of Northwest Indiana. So thank you, Alessa. I'm so excited for this conversation today.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Thank you, Lauren. Me too. I'm excited.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

So I just want to ask you with your involvement with nonprofits, like why did you enter into this world? Why these groups? What makes you want to serve people in that way?

SPEAKER_00 1:37

Great question. I think that everything happened organically. Fighting pretty fell into my lap in 2019. I had lost my grandfather to non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and then a really great boss and mentor and friend when I had just kind of begun my career and I was in Chicago and life was happening and life was changing at the same time. And so here I go through a loss again, losing somebody to cancer, somebody that affected my life in such a positive way. And so through a friend and colleague in the industry, I was introduced to Fighting Pretty, and he just opened the door and was like, Hey, I sent Deb this pretty package that I saw for Fighting Pretty. My thing it's something great, you should look into maybe getting involved is up your alley. Little did I know at that time when I reached out back in 2019 that we would be where we are today as an organization, me individually and my role with the organization. And it's just been so beautiful to be able to be part of just an amazing nonprofit, to be part of changing the lives of so many women that have been affected by cancer, whether it's directly or indirectly. And then on top of that, bringing it out into our community here in Northwest Indiana and the Chicagoland area for all the incredible businesses and individuals that I've met who have come along this journey with fighting pretty, as well as myself. It's been one that I couldn't imagine my life without anymore. And from that, I think it just opened the doors. The Boys and Girls Club and Girls on the Run, that they they each bring me something to my life that is so unique and different than each other. But at the end of the day, I know that I've perfectly aligned with three organizations that I call my heart work. So it's pretty amazing.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

That's so funny that you just said heart work. So at the time we're recording this podcast, my podcast is launching this coming Monday. I just released a trailer for it. And I actually in the trailer talk about I'm interviewing entrepreneurs through the heart work and hard work. And I had to really like emphasize that. And you're the first person I've ever heard say that other than myself. So that's so cool. That's that's truly so cool. Like literally, my trailer just came out, you know, two days ago at this point, and that is literally in the trailer. So thanks for being exactly what the podcast is creating for. So I appreciate you seeing that.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

I love that.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

So you mentioned about fighting pretty and how you have personal stories with cancer, with your family, losing people to cancer. That's obviously something that I relate to hugely. I lost my mom to cancer, but I also had cancer myself and I'm a cancer survivor. But so you're part of Girls on the Run and Boys and Girls Club. What about those organizations? You know, why did you want to get involved with those?

SPEAKER_00 4:37

I think that it just kind of like organically happened. Even girls on the run one night a couple years ago, I couldn't sleep. And I was like, what, you know, like volunteer opportunities near me. And girls on the run was the first that came up. And I like started looking at the website and I was like, oh my gosh, like this is like right up my alley again. Like, this is you know, being part of like young children's lives, mentoring them. There's exercise and healthy habits and all of those things that fuel our body. The women empowerment, I'm all for that. I love that as well. So, kind of same thing. I I reached out, I got connected with our executive director, Jill, and you know, the rest was history. I started coaching probably like a week or two later. The spring season had just started, and then from there, I just kind of grew with my involvement. Being able to see firsthand programs like Girls on the Run, what it positively does to these young girls' lives is just incredible. And throughout just even my career and other people that I meet, knowing that they are also part of like Girls on the Run, I just was connected to an individual and she serves on the board locally in Ohio for Girls on the Run. And so it's like this ripple effect, this domino effect that I'm sure we hear all the time like, oh, everybody knows everybody or whatever it might be. But once you dive deeper and now you're connected in a level of not just seeing you out at a restaurant, we're actually involved in these organizations together. We have the same mentality, want to do the same thing. I think it just strengthens those relationships. And so Girls on the Run has just again like it's it's brought me something that I never knew my life was missing until I got to be a part of it. And so, you know, there'd be days that we would go to practice and it was work was blowing up, and every possible thing that could happen happened at that moment. But in that hour and a half that we were together, it was like the world stopped, none of it mattered. All that mattered was was our group, our lesson, what was going on in their world. And that was just so much more catastrophic than our our big adult problems at the time. And so I got to leave just knowing that myself and the other coaches that I've made, you know, friendship with as well, that we had the hour and a half that we could be a positive light for them, no matter how dark their day was. And so that has just has hit my heart as well, and we'll be there for a very long time. And the Boys and Girls Club as well. I was connected to the organization about a year and a half ago, just kind of through meeting other individuals in the community. I spoke at the All About the Girls event, and Denise, she was a speaker as well. So I connected with her. We ran into each other, and she's like, We have this pals program, and I just think you would be perfect for it. Let's get together. She shared everything that it was about, and we left the lunch, and I'm like, sign me up, whatever I need to do, I'm in, you can count on me. And so, same thing. It's again that piece of my life that while you think you have it all, you you get to be in front of other people that might be struggling in different ways. And so, even my first time leaving the club, I'll never forget. I got in my car, I called my mom, and I just started crying. And it was happy tears, very, very happy tears, but it definitely was like that that life-changing moment of I get to be a part of something like so much greater and so much bigger. And here's another place that's gonna allow me to do that. So they've all just kind of organically been introduced to my life, and now I I couldn't imagine it without them.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

So, side note to girls on the run. Do you like running?

SPEAKER_00 8:15

I am not a runner. So that's so definitely I personally am not a runner. I have work out at Orange Theory. That's probably like the extent of my running while I'm in class, which I feel guilty. I haven't been in in a while. But that's like the awesome thing about girls on the run. You don't have to be a runner. It's just like any way that we can positively kind of influence like that active, you know, moments and crossing the finish line, gearing up for the 5k at the end, whether you're running, running, walking, a light jog, skipping, hopping, it's really just kind of giving them that goal of something to work towards and then being able to complete it. So you don't have to be a runner to be involved. So anybody that's has questioned it because they don't feel that they're a runner, no worries. There still is a place for you.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

And yeah, and I can vouch for that. So my sister through her school, so she's a teacher, she's been teaching for 10-ish years, you know, right out of college. And she was involved with girls on the run for a few years and asked me to be a co-coach. She doesn't do it anymore. And I don't know if they renewed their their contract or anything, but I was a coach for a couple of years and it I am a runner. And it's weird for me to say that out loud because like I still don't consider myself a runner, but then all evidence proves otherwise. Right. I do I've done a marathon. I love doing half, you know, half marathons at Disney World. All of the I do 5Ks every single year is a huge part of my journey and my just my life. And I would say it's a hobby of mine. So joining girls on the run and being a part of those practices, even just for a couple of years when I was involved with it as a co-coach, it definitely is so impactful. And the girls that we were coaching were fourth and fifth grade, which I think that's the age group. I think it's like what is it? I don't know if it's a wider range now. This was maybe 10 years ago now, but she like, you know, these girls were fourth and fifth graders. And like it's it's just crazy to see and hear not only like how much they already know, but like how much they also like open up in these sessions. And I liked how what my sister did, you know, I know that with like the programming and stuff, and hopefully like not gonna get in trouble in this, but like a lot of those things, like when you read word for word and you're just there to read like whatever binder they give you, a lot of times that's just like boring and the kids don't want to be in school for another hour. So like we try to like apply it to like real life situations and and we had a lot of movement too. Like I think in every one of those practices, like there is some movement too. And I like what they represent. And so again, like from what I understand about it, you know, yes, it is like you know, anti-bullying, it's confidence, it's body positivity, and like getting you some movement as well. And yes, you don't need to be a runner, yes, there is a 5k at the end, but yes, you don't have to run the whole thing, and it's not like super timed, like no one's winning awards, everyone is is together, and it's like a whole nice like festival too, right? Like there's face painting and everyone's there from all different areas and walks of life. So, no, I think it's such a cool organization, but I wanted to ask, I wasn't sure if you ran 5Ks outside of Girls on the Run.

SPEAKER_00 11:30

No, I like I wish I have one of my best friends, like she is a runner and I love it. And every now and then, like I could be in a funk, and I'm like, maybe I'm gonna like put my headphones in and go start running. And then I'm like, no, absolutely not. Like I'll I'll take up something else. Like, I don't think it'll be running.

SPEAKER_01 11:46

So yeah. So I guess you know, you have the missions of why you join these nonprofits, but what is it about just like being of service to others that you love the most?

SPEAKER_00 11:58

I think it's when you're able to show up in the moments that they're going through maybe their hardest times, and they might not have somebody that can be there to show up for them. And even if they do, sometimes I think that it's also important and healthy to have others that are not maybe part of that inner circle that still are showing up for you. And at the end of the day, if I could show up and know that I showed up for one individual, I made a difference in their life, then this is this is all worth it. And so it's worth it regardless. But I think that I see so many people struggle where they they don't have anybody to lean on and they don't know who to call or they don't know where to go. I don't have children myself, but you know, I I see the world today and what goes on and the bullying that can happen, and you know, the not accepting of each other. And so I think being able to to create places or be that person that somebody can come to to know no matter how bad it is or how good it is, we're gonna get through it, we're gonna celebrate it, you're going to be welcomed, you're going to be heard, you're going to be seen. I think everybody needs that. And so I I'm thankful that I've had probably way too many people sometimes when I think about it that can be those individuals for me in kind of every area of my life, right? Whether it's relationships and the good times and the bad times with friends, or it's career advice, family drama. I am so fortunate to have so many people that that I know I could call right now and that would be there in a heartbeat. But to know that maybe somebody's on the other end and they don't they don't know where to go, they don't know who they have, that breaks my heart. And so I think that being able to be connected to all these nonprofits and to be able to show up any possible way I can. That's what I want to do. That's what I strive to do. And so I hope that it's definitely making a difference in somebody's life.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

I love that. And I love that mission. And it's it takes a special kind of person to, you know, want to be of service of others. Yes, there's a lot of service-based industries, but to have it be sometimes where it is heavy subject matter, where, you know, like I mentioned, you know, my experience with girls on the run, there are some like sensitive topics that come up and in, you know, providing that space for young women, you know, young girls to open up about things that they might not be able to say to anyone else. And then, you know, Boys and Girls Club especially is even more so with that. But the one thing though I wanted to ask about than fighting pretty, because this this is probably gonna be super personal to me. I have never heard of fighting pretty until I met you and then knew that you were involved in that organization. I had never heard of it. And for me, I I had Hodgkin's lymphoma. And so the only ones that I knew of as far as like, you know, organizations were the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. And I think there's there's a couple other, but I I spoke at like Relay for Life maybe like 10 years ago at this point too. So I as far as like cancer, you know, groups or nonprofits, I know of like stupid cancer, I don't know if that still is around, or there's one that's like F cancer, I don't know if that's still around. But so I'm curious then, with like your involvement with this, and I know you have some personal stories with cancer, but so fighting pretty though, their mission is to empower women, you know, through their cancer journeys and even survivorship. So I'd love to know, like, you know, what does that look like when or I I guess like for me, again, I don't know what fighting pretty necessarily does. Again, it's very surface level for me. So what is it about like empowering women through cancer? Like, what do you see the biggest struggles to be?

SPEAKER_00 15:47

I think I mean the the one thing that I love the most, and then where it also like breaks my heart too, right? That when you look back on your journey, and maybe you know, maybe at that time fighting pretty wasn't, you know, hadn't evolved yet, and we weren't out and around, even at that point, that there wouldn't have been other organizations that you could have leaned on, right? That you could have been alongside of somebody else that maybe it wasn't your type of cancer, but they could at least be there and you could show up and support one another. And so I think that is really what I've loved seeing the most about Fighting Purdy and since my involvement in it is that we are base, our headquarters is out of Portland, Oregon. And then, however, we have our board, myself, a couple of our staff members are kind of all scattered throughout the US here, but our main team is in Portland as well, as well as our founder, Cara. And then through that work and just volunteers and people that we've touched throughout the years, we've just been able to grow our presence. And so I think that it is always going to be an evolving piece of who we are. That the more, you know, people that we're able to touch in areas that genuinely want to come out and support us, like what is happening here in Northwest Indiana, it's absolutely amazing. I mean, in the past two years alone, the people that I've been able to meet, the businesses that have stepped forward, just anything that they can do, hospitals and treatment centers, seeing that growth and watching it happen organically has been really great. And then it's it's through that then that I've got to witness so many incredible women who have all had different types of cancer become connected through Fighting Pretty and an event that we did at Hard Rock in April, or at Fuzzy Line having a beer and shopping for books that they've met, they've connected, and they are adding each other on Facebook or whatever social media it is, and that now, two years later, two months later, you see them engaging with each other, see them out with each other, supporting one another. So that to me, I think is absolutely incredible and is probably one of the biggest things that I see that we offer, and that I hope that we are continuing to offer to so many people that get involved. Because again, while I've been touched by it, it hasn't been directly. And so to a degree, I know how I could show up for you, right? But I haven't walked in those same shoes. I've just walked alongside it. And so just like anything in life, and until you're faced with that personally, I don't know, you know, how anybody could feel. But again, if I could still show up or provide resources and connect you with other folks in the community that you could also have as a soundboard and somebody that would support and show up for you, then that's what I personally want to do. And as fighting party, we want to do.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

Yeah, I I love that. In my journey, I was diagnosed when I was 23. So, you know, I don't I didn't know anyone who went through cancer other than my mom who had passed away two years earlier, or it was about well, it's like two and a half years earlier. And then, you know, the only other people that I knew that had experience with cancer or just like a cancer patient, then was my younger sister and my younger brother. And so like it was just a lot for me to go through. And so the connection piece and what I've learned throughout then now the 12 years I've been in remission, it's been very helpful to connect with people and it it even helps me in my healing journey that I get to then help other people. And I'm not a part of any nonprofit or anything, I just I think people just know I had cancer and I let my story be told, and then they just like randomly reach out to me. And then like there is even if like, for instance, I have people like you and I, we went to the same high school, but and I'm a few years old, you went to high school with my brother. So if any anyone knows, if any if everyone wants to know, she actually went to high school with my brother and she's my younger brother's age. But we went to the same high school, we grew up in the same community. There's a few people that actually had either cancer and or Hodgkin's lymphoma that either were a year younger than me, a couple years older than me, and we were never friends like in high school, but like we all had Facebook when like we all added each other on Facebook if we like legit knew your name, right? Like everyone added everyone. So then that's how I was connected with them. And I think over the years, like people saw that I was posting about like updates and stuff of my journey. And then like a few years later, I remember someone reached out to me and I probably had never had a conversation with them in person. And to this day, still have not had a conversation or have met up with them to this day. But she was diagnosed with the same cancer that I had. And like then we became like friends, but within that realm of I know exactly what you're going through. And you go from zero to 100 overnight because nobody knows what you're going through except for the people that have actually gone through it. Luckily, like the other people, everyone has survived and everyone's thriving and everyone's great and cancer free now. But and then like it's hard when you do start to like, oh yeah, no, I I actually used to work with this person or I played softball with this person. Now they have what I have. And so you have these like connections from long ago that then that also helps. But you know, specifically for that person, I think of that all the time. Where like I feel healed and I feel like it helps me even now when I get people that come up to me and want to talk like what chemo did you have, or like what symptoms did you have, or like what would you get this drug? Because I got this drug. Are you losing your hair? Or make sure you take I always tell people, make sure that they take a picture of them bald because I actually that's actually one of the biggest regrets I have that I don't have any pictures of me bald and I lost my hair twice. So, like, side note to anyone I know this is like maybe this is like cancer survivors would understand this and hopefully it gives you a little bit of piece of advice. You might hate that you're bald and might hate that you lose your hair, but like I promise you you're gonna regret it one day when you don't have a picture of yourself bald because in all reality, you're not gonna be bald ever again, hopefully. So, but anyway, so I think like the connection piece that's so invaluable, and you get you just like instantly get so personal with somebody because it is so lonely, and no, and you can have the best caretakers and the survivors, but like no one really knows what you're going through. And the same thing with like caretakers, also, like the caretakers themselves have to connect with other caretakers. People that have had loved ones pass away from cancer, that is also a very specific type of grief and frustrating. So I I love I love what fighting pretty represents from what I know through you and and through the website and stuff that I learned already. So no, thank you for what you do because I think, especially for young people, one of the things that I went through, I was in a relationship and I had, you know, a core group of friends before I went through cancer the first time. But then like by the time I relapsed and then went through cancer the second time, was no longer in that relationship. All of those friends were gone. I had other friends that stepped up and now I'm friends with those friends, you know, until this day. And and so like it when you're young, I think it's hard because of course, like you're we're 23, 24, 25 years old. Like no one wants to like go to a hospital and visit their friends, like everyone else has other priorities and like going out and being a 20-year-old, right? I'm 38, so I can say that now, but it was very hurtful and painful when I was going through that and like losing my friends and you know, just all of that stuff. And then, you know, breakups and stuff like that too was really hard. So I think like having organizations like this, and then it can be hard to connect with other people. It's so again invaluable because you need that. And I and I, you know, I tell people all the time the first time I went through cancer was really hard because it was met with a lot of adversity and arguments with just like the relationships I had. And those were sometimes harder to navigate than the cancer itself. And then the second time I had cancer, I feel like I had the time of my life. Like I loved who I was surrounded by, and my treatment was more intense and longer and a lot more hospital stays. But like the people that came and visited me and just like stepped up was like just amazing. And so like that truly can make or break your experience and even your survivorship too.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

Absolutely. I think I think it's spot on, and I think it's it's sad when you look back that even the first time that you know, some of those relationships that maybe they weren't they they weren't meant to be part of of your journey and who you are today. And it's heartbreaking and devastating and so life-changing in the moment, right? No matter sometimes what it is in life, that to degree we've gone through that. It breaks my heart that you had to go through it a second time, but knowing that that second time around, everybody that was part of your life at that moment is still part of your life today. And so they were with you at some of the lowest points, but now are with you as you're thriving at some of the highest points, and you've experienced and weather that life and those storms with them. And I think those are the relationships, period. Like it is them when you look at things that you're able to weather the good, the bad, the ugly, the crying, the sitting on the floor, not knowing like what's going to happen tomorrow. It definitely makes me happy that those people were part of that with you. But now looking at your own personal journey and even hearing you speak at events and knowing what I know, we have to have some baggage along for the ride, and it makes us who we are. But now experiencing like these great seasons in life with our people, I think that it's it's all worth it.

SPEAKER_01 25:45

Yeah, no, I love that. Yeah. And I think one of the things I would say to then like cancer survivors, right? So if we have, I'm sure we'll have some people listening or people that are currently going through cancer treatment or just out of treatment, I think that there can be a lot of anger and resentment because I think that we all kind of face that. And even even I will say my parents passed away before I had cancer as well. So, like, yes, I had other dramatic things happen to me and a lot of other different relationships and things like that and changes in relationships too with both of those events. And I think that, yes, it can be lonely regardless of age, regardless of what you're going through. But one thing that I could vouch for and like something then, you know, you have already said that, you know, you're a proponent of and fighting pretty is a proponent of is like the connection piece. And that's just like again, so helpful, so invaluable. But I think like then putting your knowledge, regardless of what that is or your experience and your story into motion, where like if it is just like it doesn't have to be speaking, doesn't have to be speaking, doesn't have to be like you have to join a nonprofit and things like that. It can just be being of a a shoulder to cry on to someone in the future that is going through something similar to you. And, you know, when I got that first message, like two years maybe into my remission, I quickly realized that a lot of anger that I had started to dissipate because I was able to help somebody and tell them literally step by step of what they could expect and like all of those things. And I think that, you know, you can, you know, you can utilize therapy and and you know, all of these other tools and stuff too. But I think like what I would say is like truly sharing your journey in whatever capacity that is. You know, you don't have to go and speak on stages or like, you know, in groups or again do all these huge things, but I think like truly just like helping somebody and sharing your story in some way, like not only would dissipate the anger, but just like that also helps too. So then it doesn't manifest into something else.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

Absolutely. And you know, I have moments I even look back when my grandpa was sick and going through treatment and like that time in life, and I was like my mid to late 20s, and I like sometimes I'm angry with myself because I remember like that time of life, but then I feel like it was such a traumatic time of life for me that like I feel like I've it's in the bookshelf, like all the way in the back of my my brain, and I don't want to open it. And so I get angry at myself that I'm like, could I have showed up more? Could I have done more? If I knew what I knew now, like what could that have changed or could I have done more of? And so I think now I just try to put my mind in a positive place with some of those what ifs, or if I had known to maybe know like losing him, like I lost a part of myself, like that'll he was everything. But in true fashion of my grandpa, I think some of then where I am now and fighting pretty and and that piece of maybe my own indirect cancer journey, he's brought along that like if that hadn't have happened, I don't know that I would be anywhere where I am today. And so I think that it's it was hard, it was like I said, one of the the worst times of my life. However, it's brought so many good things and so many good people. And if like I said, if again, if I can make a difference in one person's life by just opening a door and maybe it's connecting them with you to be like, I know this amazing woman, I think you guys would get along great, and it just could be another person to be in your corner. And if that's all that it could be, then that's amazing. So I think that that connection and those journeys, they're meant to happen for a reason.

SPEAKER_01 29:40

I resonate a lot with that because what I'm doing now, I don't think I would ever do this now. I would not be here if, you know, I didn't go through like not only did my parents pass away, but then cancer. And I think like I can't really say what the turning point was because like truly all of those things happen like one right after another. And it really like all of that happened in a span of five years. And so for me to say there was one event that was a catalyst, I don't think I can say that, but I could say because the cancer happened to me personally, I would say probably that is more so of like what weighed on my decisions to not pursue what I was going for. Like, you know, I wanted to be like in a stressful finance job. I went to college for finance. My goal was to be like a day trader and like go to the New York Stock Exchange or go to the trading floor in Chicago and just like be one of those traders that just like again, high stress, which equals more money, and that's what I wanted to do. And like very slowly did that start to dissipate as those things started to happen to me. And when I finally like came out of it and then was in remission for about a year or two, I really started to think about like, okay, what's next? Like I finally felt like all right, nothing else traumatic's gonna happen. Like, let's no one, hopefully, no one else drops and no one else gets cancer and all this stuff. So, like it felt it felt safe to go back in the water again. So, like I started to really think of what I wanted to do. And I was inspired by like my two best friends who had gone to college for nursing and were both gonna be nurse practitioners, which they still currently are. My sister is a teacher and she loves what she does. And then my now husband, he like loves his job and has been at his job now for like 13 years. And it's very rare to find those things. It's very rare to like go to school, do what you do outside of college and like stay there. And so I was really inspired by those four people. And I was in banking and I really did not like my job anymore. I was not where I wanted to go. And I think, like, to your point, is like, yes, these things suck and like that happened, but like again, those things had to happen to get to where we are now. And it's it's hard to think like that too, because I think I I do think of that a lot where if my parents were still here, I probably would never have met my husband. And now then my daughter wouldn't be here. So it's there's so much duality in in all of these things and the journeys that we have. But, you know, yes, those things had to happen. Now I feel like I'm in my purpose. And I I don't know what my purpose would have been, you know, if everything didn't happen. And so it's hard because it's hard. You wish that they were here, you wish that you had more time with them, or I wish I didn't have cancer, didn't have to go through all the survivorship stuff and all that crazy stuff. But then I wouldn't have my husband, and then I wouldn't have my daughter. I would never have met, you know, my husband. So yeah, I I resonate a lot with what you said there of now you're doing these things to be of service because of what you went through. And but it what's beautiful about that is you're able to turn pain or the trauma into something good and then hopefully helping other people alleviate their pain in some way.

SPEAKER_00 33:03

Absolutely. And it's it's hard because even as you were saying that and you think about so many things that happen in life, even just like my best friend and I just laughed this week. Like I think she sent me a meme, and it was like if I had a dollar for like every time I overreacted to something, or like you just overthought the worst case scenario, and then it it plays out, and like you were way wrong, right? Like, I think that we would all be sitting on like you know, thrones of of money, but or at least I think I would be. But when I look back though, too, even like of like all of like the big pivotal moments in my life, some traumatic, some life-changing, and the happiest of happy, it all had to have happened. And it's sometimes it's not like not an excuse, right? Because like you could look like be like, oh yeah, like I'm glad that happened because I want to have this job or be where I am today. You have to look at it in a positive and kind of you know, a way of knowing that like really what did need to happen and what was part of that journey, and then maybe what was just a a stupid mistake or a choice that you made. But I do feel when I look back at life, those really big moments, good or bad, that all like defined some of who I am. I didn't allow those bad times to define me in a way of I'm not gonna get out of bed, I'm not gonna go to work, I'm gonna use this as my excuse to walk around and be mad at the world and to hate life. And everybody, you could you could do that, and and some people they they aren't strong enough to cope with that. But I just I think I use that to to your point that that pain, we turned it into purpose, and I think that is what is part of my journey and who I am, and so I couldn't imagine life without that. As painful as it was losing my grandpa, purpose came out of it, and so knowing him, and for anybody that is listening and that knew him and knows of him, everybody was could be saying, Yep, that's that's spot on, that's Bob. And so I think it it's definitely the journey that we've all had, but it makes us individually our own unique person, and so you know, knowing knowing of you through the years, through your brother, right? And seeing from a distance losing your parents, and at that point in life too, it's like okay, you go through once, and then it's like, oh my gosh, like they just you know, it's like again, like now they've lost both their parents. And so even at a young age, like you think about that of like that could be me. Maybe you don't like you don't fully think about it and you're not processing it like it like we are now. But I look at you and your brother and your sister and having to work through life and overcome those tragedies and and seeing where you are now and what you're doing in the world. You are inspiring, you inspire me. So I hope that that you know that you in turn are also making a difference in others' lives.

SPEAKER_01 35:58

Thank you. I appreciate that. That's so nice to hear and thank you. I was gonna say, like, I have this thing where I am getting better at taking compliments, so I'm just gonna say thank you.

SPEAKER_00 36:10

It's okay. I appreciate your it's hard. It's hard, it's it's hard. I know we have to we have to take the compliments, we have to stop saying I'm sorry. Like, that is like one thing that it's like I don't have to apologize. Like, you know, sometimes you do, sometimes you don't.

SPEAKER_01 36:23

No, I appreciate that. Thank you. And I think, you know, it's one thing I will say about that too, about like processing and how young we were, because like I was 21. So I mean, and you're four years younger than I am. So like my brother was still in high school when we lost my mom, right? And then, so like 17 years old. And then then my dad passed away in 2010, and so he was actually we our last like family photo was at your guys' like central high school graduation because yours was in June, like at the beginning of June, right? So my dad passed away actually June 29th of that year. So it was just a few weeks later. It was like two days after my brother's grad party. So it was like that's how young my brother was. And so I think back to, you know, me being the oldest, I think back to yes, I was 21, and now me being 38, I'm like, yeah, that was that's very young. Like when I won come across 21-year-olds, that is very young, or 23-year-olds. And then when I was going through it though, my immediate thing was like, oh, my brother's so young, my brother's so young. Because my sister and I were only 14 months apart. So we're we're really like similar age, and we were always really close growing up and we did everything together. We had the same friends, played softball together, whatever. But my brother was always the, you know, he's a boy, first of all. Second of all, he was always younger, like considerably younger than us. So for me, I was always like, my brother, my brother, my brother. But yeah, like that's that's just like that's another thing. And that's a whole other episode, I feel like we can get into, but like processing that is like even the people around you. And and even when I think of my friendships that dissolved and my the boyfriend that broke up with me at that time, like, yes, it was a really stressful time for everyone. Like, how crazy is it that then your girlfriend's going through all this stuff? Like, that's crazy too, right? And like, so like me as an adult, and now being a mom, I see back to that, and like while I was young and I hated all those people and I was so angry, and maybe they could have handled it better still. But at the same time, it's like, man, we are all really young. And how do you even process all of those things? In full transparency, I think over the last two years, I'm finally now processing all of those things. And like I have until a couple of years ago, like for me to go to therapy, I started going therapy only a year and a half ago. Otherwise, I have not gone to therapy at all. But I think my pregnancy journey and being a mom really brought all those things up to the surface. So, like, so what you said about being young and processing all of those things, even being an outsider looking in and seeing how shocking that is, I don't think that we process that. Like, and then we all process things in our own ways. And even then, just the cancer part of it all, like that still is something I'm processing and it comes up in different ways as well. And it's very similar to grief. I think that pretty much everyone has experienced grief in some way. And depending on how close you were with the person or whatever, like I think that there are like that's another thing that people come to me for is like when they lose their parents or someone close to them. You know, I'm the person that is messaged and and we talk about it. And, you know, it's just one of those things where it's like, yeah, like it just it isn't gonna go away overnight. So I actually have a few more questions for you, and I I want to get back to you and I want to give an extra question.

SPEAKER_00 39:44

Well, and I I I do want to touch on I love that that you share that you are going to therapy. I love that. I think it's something that everybody should explore doing if they have not or are not. I haven't really been open about it, but earlier this year I had a friend that kind of like shared his journey with it, and it just kind of like again indirectly, directly, like encouraged me that like maybe I just want to continue to work on myself to show up better and to be a better person at the end of the day for myself, but everybody else in my life. And honestly, it's the best thing that I've ever done. So if anybody is like on the fence and you're listening about like, do I do this or you like feel shameful about it, please do not like do it. I promise, like it will be life-changing, and you know, you have to find the person that works with you the best. I have a great woman, so call me, I can give her a number. But I definitely advise everybody should be in it.

SPEAKER_01 40:40

So I love that you said that. Like, and thank you for opening up about it. I don't think I'm like shouting it from the rooftops either, but in conversations like this, I will just bring it up because it has been such an important part of my journey in the last year and a half of just like what I've built for myself and just like my own transformation. I think postpartum definitely was maybe the final trigger to being like, nope, I need to really process all of this stuff. And postpartum itself needs to be processed. Right. And so I think it's helpful for us to talk about it. And I think the last thing I'll say about that is like you don't have to go to therapy because something's wrong. Like, and that's kind of where I'm at now, where I want to keep performing at the level I'm performing at. So, like, even if I don't have these crazy things I need to talk about, I still want to go to therapy. And like there might be little things that might be bothering me. And so I just I'm always gonna go to therapy. I don't see myself never not going to therapy because it's just so nice to like you, we talk about people who are in your corner, we talk about people like having a support system, like that person can be your support system, and that person for sure is going to be the one that's going to listen to you without judgment, hopefully, right? We hope so.

SPEAKER_00 41:53

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 41:54

What would you say your core values are in life?

SPEAKER_00 41:58

Ooh, that's a good question. I think I value I value honesty. I think there's been a lot of moments in life that I've had all the honesty in the world and then all the deceit. And so I think that being honest with whoever it is, that's super important to me. I think that I show up as who I am in any relationship, whether it's work or personal. And I think that if you're not being honest with who you are or what you're doing, then there's nothing positive that's going to come out of it. And at the end of the day, whatever you might be covering up without being honest is going to come out. So honesty is is super important to me. I think love, we experience all different types of love. And so I think my life is full of it, and again, super fortunate for my family and my friends, and every other individual that's part of my life that I know at the end of the day that anybody that's on that call log that I can call, that they're going to show up in any manner that I need them, and that they're my people. And I would say I think strength. I think life's tested me a lot, and through all of the low lows, I think that I have rose the occasion as best that I could in those moments with what I could to show up and to continue to persevere. Um, because like I said, I think sometimes it's super easy, and don't get me wrong, I have days where I'm like, I don't want to do anything. I don't want to talk to anybody. You're all annoying me right now. I'm in a bad mood, leave me alone. But I think then you still have to find that strength that you're like, all right, you can have that moment, you can have the day, but now it's you know, back on the saddle and powering forward. So I think for me, honesty, love, and strength are super important.

SPEAKER_01 43:47

I love that. I love when, like, especially when you see those core values, but it's so apparent that you stay aligned with those, just like from what you do. And like again, the limited Things that I know from you and but it's so apparent that the impact matters. And so you lead with those core values every single day. And it again, it's very obvious that is what you lead, and even through our conversation here, that's what you lead with. Where do you see yourself in five or ten years? The one thing though I want to I want to touch on is you had something I think on your social media that was building positive impact that lasts. Like I read that somewhere, somewhere on your social media. What does that look like to you then in five to ten years? Is it more nonprofits? Where do you think your journey is going to take you?

SPEAKER_00 44:37

It's a great question. I I know it's like it is that question that no matter if like we were, you know, young and being asked it or now or asked me again in five to ten years, I probably would still like freeze up and be like, I don't know what to say. Honestly, I think I think in five to ten years, I think staying involved in service and nonprofit, it's who I am. I don't see it going anywhere anytime soon. If anything, I think that I would really love to be in knees deep in the trenches, doing something even more than what I am now that might have maybe more of its own kind of ownership and hands in the pod and kind of control over it per se. I don't know what that looks like just yet because I think I've tried to be very purposeful. Like I've shared of just what I align with. And so when I when I think about what that could look like, there's definitely thoughts there. They're slowly beginning to pop. But I I think that being able to take my hard work, which is still great work, and I I love it, with my heart work and having that be something is where I want to see myself in five to ten years. That those two worlds have really collided even more than they have on such a deeper and more impactful way, is what I would like to see.

SPEAKER_01 45:55

Would you ever start your own nonprofit?

SPEAKER_00 45:57

I would.

unknown 45:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 46:00

So I haven't said this out loud, but I feel like I should say it out loud. And some people know. I'm not gonna and I'm not gonna reveal any details, but I do have the inner workings of also starting my nonprofit. I'm not gonna say what it's about, I'm not gonna say what it's called, but it is something that has been on my heart since I had cancer the first time. Okay. And it honestly was then like, you know, then I had cancer a second time and you know, then I hated the world. And then then like a few years later, when I started to go on the journey of like what's really gonna fulfill me, one of the very first things I created was a blog and I named it something, which I'm not gonna reveal the name because that's gonna be the name of that nonprofit. But I guess if people did their digging, they'll figure it out. But that's kind of then what me led to what led me to business coaching and online entrepreneurship and entrepreneurship in general and sharing people's stories. And that started like eight years ago at this point. So, you know, I quickly realized that like, well, blogging's not gonna like make me money. So like I had to figure out how to make money. And I love what I do, I love everything that I'm doing now, but like, you know, kind of like what you said of how you've been organically pulled into like these other nonprofits. That's over the last year of just the connections I've made and just seeing what else is out there and then like the logistics and stuff too. I feel like it's organically happening without me doing much work. And so I think like that's just a sign from God, the universe, this is like the path I'm meant to go down, and it's finally here. So, like again, it's just like another thing that I'm cooking in the back of in the back behind the scenes. Like you hear it first on Alyssa's podcast, it's a little Easter egg here. So I probably won't even I probably won't talk about it again for another six to 12 months. So if they don't listen to it, no one's gonna know.

SPEAKER_00 47:55

It's hard because I think there's like so many incredible nonprofits out there, right? And every everybody wants to be unique and organic and with what they do, and they all serve so many amazing purposes, like, and there's not one that is better than the other by any means, you know, and and maybe you know, I don't know, over time it could evolve and other doors can open up. But that was that was a good question. You put me on my feet there.

SPEAKER_01 48:20

Well, yeah, and especially how you answered that question, it was like you kind of like, yeah, we kind of want to be like more involved, and like these things are like you want to start a nonprofit, don't you? Yes. So a couple of last questions for someone who wants to make a difference just in whatever matters to them, but they don't know where to begin. What's your advice other than oh, go find a nonprofit to donate to?

SPEAKER_00 48:47

Right, right. You know, I I definitely want to just go find a nonprofit to donate to. Yes, while your dollars would be great and they would love to see it. I don't know that that's genuinely gonna make the difference at the end of the day. I think that we've all experienced something in life or are currently going through something that has changed or is changing who you are, or you've watched somebody that you love experience that same thing. And I think it's thinking about what that is and is it helping in that current moment of whatever somebody's struggling with? Are you going through cancer right now and you want to make a difference in an act of cancer treatment for somebody, or is it three years post-treatment and they are a survivor now, but they're still struggling with it and you want to make a difference there? I think it's just really tapping into your own self and touching base with what has happened or have you seen happen that you're like, I can make a difference and I don't want to see, or I don't want somebody to experience this again, that's a nonprofit that you need to look for. And at that point, I think that your heart will guide you the rest of the way and being involved will be more than just the auto-donate, you know, here's my$20 every month. Because when you then begin to get involved and then you see firsthand the difference you're making for somebody that might be struggling with something that you've struggled with is priceless what that will bring to you. So I think it's tapping in to your true self and where you feel like you've struggled or seen somebody struggle the most, and then that's what you seek out to try to change or be involved with.

SPEAKER_01 50:25

I love that. I think the word that came up for me while you were talking was being it more intentional. Then yeah, it's it's very easy to auto-donate or you know, do GoFundMe's or you know, people share, I think on like Facebook sometimes they'll share things that you can donate through, you know, via Facebook donate. And then there's nothing wrong with that too, right? If that's the extent of your involvement that you want to do, that's fine. But at the end of the day, if there is real change or impact that you want to provide, there are, like you said, there's other ways and other like outside of the box moments where you can kind of get involved. So last question where can we connect with you and learn more about you?

SPEAKER_00 51:06

You can connect with me on all the socials. I have LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram. I don't really do the whole Twitter X scene, but definitely Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, you can connect with me. Send me a message, and I could definitely share more of my personal contact information to connect further and any more information about fighting pretty girls on the run or boys and girls club as well.

SPEAKER_01 51:30

Perfect. And all of those links we'll include in the show notes. So if you want to, you know, connect easily with Alyssa, those links will be down below. And then on Friday, Alyssa will be back with us to chat more about her expertise in our Business Chaser episode. So thank you so much, Alyssa. This was such a good conversation. Thank you for coming out.

SPEAKER_00 51:51

Thanks, Lauren. No, thank you for having me, and thanks everybody for listening.

SPEAKER_01 51:55

Thanks for tuning in to another episode of Business Over Cocktails, where real stories and bold business moves come to life. If this episode lit something up in you, share it with a friend, tag me at Lauren Najar or the podcast page at Business Over Cocktails. Make sure to leave a quick review as well. It helps more than you know. Until next time, keep chasing what matters and building the business that feels like you. Cheers.