He Saw My Potential Before I Did w/ Lauren & Darrin Najar (Part 1)

Sometimes the person who changes your life is the one who believes in you before you believe in yourself.

Long before I built a successful business, there was uncertainty, career frustration, and a series of business ideas that never quite felt right. In this special episode, recorded in celebration of their 10th wedding anniversary, I sit down with my husband, Darrin, to reflect on the journey that started long before entrepreneurship. Together, we revisit the jobs we shared, the challenges I faced after cancer, and the winding path that helped me discover what I was truly meant to do. 

From early side hustles and blogging to discovering coaching, Darrin shares what he saw in me years before I recognized it myself. Our conversation explores the power of having someone who believes in your potential, the confidence that comes from being truly supported, how I spent years waiting for permission to pursue what I was truly capable of, and why the businesses that didn't fit ultimately led me to the one that did. 

If you've ever questioned whether you're capable of something bigger, this episode will remind you that sometimes all it takes is one person who sees your potential until you're able to see it for yourself.

And make sure you don’t miss part 2 of our conversation that will be out September 7, 2026.

Chapters:

00:40 How We Met at the Bank

02:40 Cancer, Dating, and a New Beginning

04:20 The Side Hustles That Shaped My Journey

08:20 Looking for a Career That Felt Right

11:40 When Darrin Knew Coaching Was Different

14:20 Why Starting a Blog Changed Everything

17:20 Realizing Coaching Could Be a Career 

20:20 Learning to Believe in My Own Skills

23:00 The Permission to Become Who I Was

26:00 The One-on-One Conversation That Stuck

30:20 Why I Called Darrin My Mindset Coach

33:20 The Shift From Side Hustle to Business Owner

36:20 How I've Changed Over the Years 

38:40 The Question That Will Be Answered in Part Two

This podcast is brought to you in partnership with Liz Chapman & CO

Upcoming Events:

Napa Retreat - October 5-8, 2026 - https://laurennajar.myflodesk.com/cetj223rsr

Growth & Connect Events - https://laurennajar.myflodesk.com/hb2a0mwbqw

Save 25% with Flodesk - https://flodesk.com/c/OR8VKL

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→ Follow Lauren on Instagram: www.instagram.com/laurennajar
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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Hey there, and welcome to Business Over Cocktails. I'm Laura Najar, your host and hype woman, bringing you real talk about entrepreneurship. This is the podcast where we dive into the bold whys, the messy middles, and the game-changing aha moments that lead to success. You'll hear unfiltered stories from entrepreneurs plus bite-sized solo episodes inside the Business Chaser series, where we cut through the noise and get straight to what actually drives sales, visibility, and growth. So whether you're here to get fired up or finally feel seen in your business journey, pull up a seat, pour your favorite drink, and let's have a real conversation. Hello, hello. Welcome back to Business Over Cocktails. I'm your host, Laura Najar. And today I'm so excited because when I launched my podcast episode, or not my episode, when I launched my podcast, I was just like trying to think of who I want to have on. And of course I have like a lot of business friends. Some of them still haven't been on. But I definitely thought of a couple friends who I've definitely had on already and my husband, Darren. So today we have Darren with us today. I'm so excited to have him. We're gonna talk about just like I guess marriage and business and all the things, but this is coming out the week of our 10-year anniversary. And I thought it would be perfectly timed to finally record this episode and get it out to you. I'm also battling a cold, so I sound a little I feel like I sound a little bit deeper, but I still sound fine, I guess. So hi Darren. Hi. I don't really know what I'm gonna talk about today. I do have some questions, but I just wanna I I've I've definitely referenced Darren a lot in probably like several of the episodes. This is like I just feel so flustered right now. I feel so flustered. And like you're probably only listening to this audio right now because none of the videos on YouTube yet. But Darren is I just feel like this like heat radiating off of him right now, and I feel like my face is hot. Like I just I feel like I'm on the spot and I feel very nervous to ask questions. So this week, as this podcast airs, we have been married for 10 years. We've been together 12 years. And for those that don't know, we met working together. And I kind of talked about that in previous episodes. So I guess like let's just start there. Let's talk about we worked together, that's how we met. I always like do shock value and I say you were my boss, because I guess technically he was.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

I would say I was your boss. I would agree.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

Yeah. But like you could fire me kind of, but like another person had the final say.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

Sure, but like I also did a one-on-one with you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

Yeah. So you were my superior. So we met in 2012. And what was really kind of cool, like I guess like when we got together, is like you you weren't like there and saw me go through cancer a second time, but you saw me right when I was coming out of cancer the first time, and we worked together while I went through cancer the second time. So actually when we started dating, it was almost like this big relief where I didn't have to like tell you my life story because you already like knew about it. I had a lot of pressure myself. But I was happy because like he kind of knew what I went through. But I wanted to kind of then talk about like, yeah, like we were together in 2014, got married in 2016. In 2016, in 2015, even that's when I kind of started like trying to make like side hustle money.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

Yeah, I I don't 100% remember what the first one is, but the one that stands out first was Wine at Home.

SPEAKER_02 4:22

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

And I don't know if that was the first one or not. I feel like there might have been something before that. Like Beach Body.

SPEAKER_00 4:28

Yeah, Beach Body, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

The Beach Body never felt serious. The wine what I don't even know what that was called.

SPEAKER_00 4:36

Yeah, it was like wine shop at home.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

Wine shop at home and kind of hosting wine nights, which feels very up your alley even to this day, was definitely like your first, what I would call like this was more of a business than just an attempt to make cash.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

Yeah. That's interesting that you think that so when I go back and think of like so I will say like there were moments though that I wanted to pursue banking. So what I want to talk about today though, like why I'm starting with like my early career and stuff, like, you know, we were together and and I credit Darren a lot, along with like a few of my other friends, where like Darren loved his job and the job that he was in. And he would always say that like if I could retire from this job, like I would. And then like two of my best friends, they're both nurse practitioners and they love what they do. And then my sister's a teacher. So like I've said that on a few episodes. And so, like, being with someone who really liked what he did made me think that, oh, I can find something that I really like, but I just didn't really know what I was getting into. And so, like, the timeline was like, I was a year cancer free, a little over a year cancer free by the time we started dating. And so, like, that was like when I think about that, that's still so early on of like in my recovery and like coming out of that. And so I definitely felt like I didn't really know what I wanted to do, but I know I didn't really want to do banking and I wanted to make more money. And I wasn't really like applying to other jobs. I didn't really want like a I didn't really know what I wanted to do. That's what I remember from that time.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

Yeah, I mean, I I feel like you've always struggled with applying to other jobs, and I don't mean like mechanically applying, I just mean wanting something different, but not having the strong desire to apply to different things. I feel like that took a lot of encouragement on my end for you to see what else was out there at times.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

And I think at that early of the stage, like you had the inklings of like starting businesses but not knowing what that looked like. So thinking that, well, my two friends have jobs that they love. Darren found a job that is a just a job that he loves. Why can't I find that? So like I think you were torn between, could I find this, will I find this, or this little itch burning at the back of that of starting something and what that start would look like, right? Like you tried a couple things that were more I don't know what the right word to describe them, but not like Hail Mary's, but not like true business ventures.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

Yeah. Yeah, because like I remember Herbalife. That was the very first one I did.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 7:24

So Herbalife was first, and I think again, that was kind of like also a fitness-related thing, because I feel like that was maybe the rise of like Instagram and fitness and social media and fitness. And I credit like I think like one of my cousins or something was in Herbalife, and like, oh, she was making like, I don't know, an extra 30 bucks, 60 bucks. Like, I remember I made like $30 or $60 from that. Then I remember like I didn't really like their products, and then Beachbody actually then had like the working out. And I actually credit Beachbody to like making me feel confident to use social media as a business. Like again, hindsight's 2020, but they did a lot of work with you to message and stuff too. But again, I think that was also like wanting to lose weight focus too, and driving also like, I want to make more money for our wedding and like our whatever we're gonna do when we get married. And like that was like 50% of it, and the other 50% of it was like, oh yeah, I want to lose weight and like look good for our wedding too. But I feel like it like, because then wine shop at home at some point was in there, and I don't think I had given up on beach body yet, but I feel like at every point, like it taught me a little bit more, and I felt like I was getting closer. It's interesting though that you say that wine shop at home felt like a business because I feel like that was such a like a blip on the radar. Beachbody I stayed with the longest.

SPEAKER_01 8:56

Yeah, but like to me, and I'm not gonna I don't want to be super negative on things, but like when I think of a pyramid scheme, it's not that Beach Body was that, but I felt like Wine Shop at Home wasn't that. And Beach Body was closer to that realm of like, this is Yeah, there's an upline and Yeah, there's an upline, it's not as just traditional business-y.

SPEAKER_00 9:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

And so like I I felt like you were trying to find what your thing would be. And it took a while for it to be like none of these work, not because you aren't interested in them, because you've always been interested in fitness or in fitness, you were always interested in wine. Like those are things that were in your wheelhouse, but it was a different level of passion, I think, when I saw like you make the leap to like I found the business that like it's my business, and it's it's not I'm not selling something else for someone else. I'm selling my expertise as like that was a huge shift, I think, in how successful you were and just you.

SPEAKER_00 9:59

And the wine thing?

SPEAKER_01 10:00

No, no, no. Like I I jumped years ahead to what you do now, but like that that was a big shift for going from a couple of those opportunities to like finding your voice, I guess, in your business. And it wasn't anyone else's thing that you were selling or working at or a job. It was I know I have this skill set and that I can help others and that I can do this, and I have this sales ability, and I have this consulting ability, and I have this coaching ability, and I'm going to be laser focused on those.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

Yeah. I think that's another reason why like I wanted to talk to you about that because or have you talked about that because I feel like you know, we talk about this all the time. Like we have like support systems, and you're obviously here and you help me do stuff, but like I feel like as entrepreneurs, you know, and like making decisions, and I'm, you know, especially now, like being in my office for eight hours a day, and I'm just like, I'm reading so many things and learning so many things every single day that I feel differently about one thing to the next day, the next day completely differently. But I actually remember though being somewhere, or maybe we're going for a walk. It was very early on, but I was like, yeah, I think I kind of want to be a business coach. And you told me, like, no, this feels different. And I don't know where we were. I don't know if like I have like maybe we're in, I don't know if you remember this.

SPEAKER_01 11:27

This sounds familiar.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

I don't remember where we were. Like, we were definitely living in Chicago, but I don't remember.

SPEAKER_01 11:31

I feel like we might have been walking along the river.

SPEAKER_00 11:34

Yeah, I just I maybe that, or like I remember like being in the kitchen, but I just remember like talking about like I forget what we were specifically talking about. I might have been checking in with you of like, oh, is it okay like that I continue to do this? Or like because at that point too, I did feel self-conscious on like all of these things I tried. And it's not that I failed at them, it's just like they weren't for me, so I stopped doing them.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

Like that and then I'll back step, but like that's the way Beach Body felt, and that's the way Wine Shop at Home felt, is they were in your wheelhouse and that you were into fitness. They were in your wheelhouse that we like wine and we like drinking wine, but it wasn't that you were passionate about selling wine or passionate about selling fitness. Yeah, right. So it's not that those don't work for people as businesses because they do and they still do today.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

But it just didn't seem like your business.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

And I think when you started to dabble in coaching, it seemed like an instant this click because like this is you and yours.

SPEAKER_02 12:44

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

I remember so like I you know, I started my blog, like that was I feel like my blog might have been the first thing that started to give me the confidence of like, oh, I can just like create something out of nothing. And like it was created from my like my cancer history and all that stuff, and I wanted to share other people's stories. So I was like, I want to do something. And I remember going for a walk with you, it was before we moved. So we were still at our house, and I had just been transferred to another branch at the bank I worked at out of my control, and I was so upset about it. And I remember I was in like a really frustrating place because I remember I applied and went on like a couple interviews with that one mortgage company, and then they like didn't have any money to hire me or something. So I was like, I felt really low. I felt like I couldn't control anything, and they didn't really have any leads on like anything I wanted to do. And I wanted to like do something almost like a creative outlet or something. And at that point, I'm like, I wanted to do a blog and share people's stories. And again, I remember like going for a walk with you and talking about that. And like again, I always think of like the money opportunity, and I didn't realize like how hard or easy it was to make money from blogging. I just wanted to start sharing people's stories and have that outlet and like start making connections that way.

SPEAKER_01 14:19

I actually do remember this conversation now. And I think I don't know that your listeners know this, but I am not an entrepreneur at all. And clearly I'm not anti-entrepreneur. I think I'm very entrepreneur adjacent, is what I would say. My older brother, for people that don't know, was very much an entrepreneur, and I even worked with him for many years. So I think I've always understood the entrepreneurial mindset, and I understand what it takes to run successful businesses and the amount of work that it is, and I I recognize what things are for me and what my skill sets are compared to true entrepreneurs like you.

SPEAKER_02 14:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

But I remember this conversation because I've always been somewhat adjacent to the entrepreneurial being in banking, seeing business owners, helping business owners with banking. But I specifically remember a very popular blog back then where someone had started their blog about early retirement. And then even though they had done early retirement and I think retired at like age 45 or something crazy young, their blog took off to where they were making more from their blog than they were making from their investments that led to early retirement. And that was around the same time when you started talking about your blog and thinking like you could monetize it. And so, while not an entrepreneur and I definitely don't know the ins and outs of social media and consulting and business consulting, I know just enough to be like, well, yeah, I know that people do this. Like I read a blog and I know that he monetizes it and that he talks about it, and I know that you could do it too.

SPEAKER_02 15:55

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

So like I remember it was very easy for me to be like, yeah, I think you could do that too. Like that is yours.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

Yeah. Yeah, I don't remember the specifics as to what led me to that. Because I think like again, this was 2017, and Pinterest was like at the height of like what it was. And like I feel like through Beachbody, because they had so many different Facebook groups and like engagement groups and social media like help and stuff like that, like that really started to open me up into like that social media starting to be utilized as a business. And then I came across people's blogs, especially like other Beachbody coaches had, you know, fitness blogs and recipes and things like that. So I was like, oh yeah, like it probably came from that idea and like being around those types of people. So from the blogging world is when I started to get immersed more into social media and how I can like grow my blog with my social media account. And this was also right around the time like we moved to Chicago. So this was like going this was 2017, going into 2018. And I know I was still working at the bank. We moved to Chicago, I was moving or I was commuting every day, like to Indiana and back. And I just I didn't like my job. But I remember I remember like again trying to go on Facebook and Facebook groups and doing engagement for other people's blogs so my blog could grow and my social media could grow. So I started to like really pick up on that stuff, but then I feel like at some point I was like, I want to make money. And then realizing that like, well, I don't want to do like because like you can have ads on your blog or something like that. It was just very spammy. And then my next thing was like, well, I think I can do like social media management. And do you remember I did like audits? Like that was how I like started. It was like March or April of that year, and I did like $50 Instagram audits, and I would like create people would pay me via PayPal, and I would like do these like I would type up these, I don't even know. They were like PDFs that I would type up, and they would just be at length like five or six pages. But then the next so the next step into then coaching was like again, because I started doing like social media management and engagement and all these other Facebook groups, is then I stumbled upon someone that, and I remember being at dinner with you. I was like, I just saw someone that charges $30,000 for 12 months for one-on-one coaching. And like I told you that, and I was so astounded by it. And that was when my wheel started turning of like, could I be a business coach? Because that's a lot of money. Now that seems like a normal thing to have someone come in and consult with your business at $30,000 a year. But back then I'm like, wait, what? Like I can get paid that much to like be a business coach. And I think I was already, you know, coming to terms with, yes, I I was very comfortable with social media. A lot of my stuff is self-taught. I've always been very techie and I love online and internet and all the things, but I don't think I ever made the connection between like my real job and how much I sold and how good I was at it, versus like, oh, like there's business coaches. I never heard of a business coach before. I don't maybe have heard of like life coaches at that point.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

Yeah. Well, and I think for a while, you know, because your nine to five was a little bit unnerving or maybe even a little bit toxic, I think that you try to shy away from that experience in everything else that you did. So like I think that for at least early on, like it I felt it seems like you didn't always embrace the skill set that you actually had acquired over that career, right? Like it took a little bit to connect of the like, you know, I did learn a lot of sales techniques that were very valuable and viable from that role. And I see now other people that don't have that ability, right? Like you you were able to like kind of reconnect that prior life to the new life in a very positive way. I don't think that was an immediate thing. I don't think you immediately kind of embraced your sales ability from those legacy roles. Like it took a while to connect back.

SPEAKER_00 20:43

Yeah, no, I agree. Yeah, it definitely took me a while, but I think a lot of that is confidence. And when I started So, like, first of all, this is like the first time we're like recording together since I want to say 2019. We did a lot of Facebook Live together in 2019 in my Facebook group.

SPEAKER_01 21:04

I don't think it was at the same table because I think we had an island at Facebook.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

We did, yes. Yes. Oh yeah. We're sitting at this table in our basement right now. And this is a table that we bought for our first Chicago apartment, and it's like a high top two-person table.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

Because our apartment was 500 square feet, so we had to have the mini.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

No, that one was not it was like 600, but no, that North Harbor Tower was like seven over seven hundred. Because the shore ham was tiny.

SPEAKER_02 21:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:37

But I had that one, I had an island. Yeah. I forgot what we're talking about though. Oh yeah, my confidence though. So and the reason why I bring up that recording is because very early on, I always called you my mindset coach. I really struggled with confidence. I really did. And I like and I know that I talk about that now. Even when I think back to who I was when I started my business, and now obviously it's a completely different person. Yes, a lot of time has passed, but I feel like timid was a really good word for me that I was really waiting for permission and waiting to be told what to do. And that's the reason why when I did hire my first business coach, I only was a social media manager because I truly didn't think I could be a business coach. I felt like I still needed that guidance and like to being told what to do. And it just like, you know, by the end of that program, I was like, no, I'm a business coach. And then it took me those three months with that first business coach to be like, oh yeah, like I want to do more than just like post for people on social media. I want to like help people and like inspire people in a way.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

You said a word as it was coming to my mind, and it was exactly what I wanted to say, but said the word permission. And I think that for me, when I think of that word permission and how it applies to this situation, I think a lot of people might jump to be like, oh, it's a sexist permission from the husband, but I think that it's different than that in this instance. I think it's almost like you needed permission to be who you were. Like you just needed someone to tell you, yeah, that do this. This is you can do this. And it wasn't like permission from your husband to do it. It was like the earth's permission or like like you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 23:40

Like the earth's permission.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

Because it wasn't like, Darren, am I allowed to do this? It was just like like the same in the same vein as you weren't someone who did a lot of cooking when we first started.

SPEAKER_00 23:54

Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

And so like you needed that like permission of like, hey, you're a good cook. Like you can actually do this. And that's not me giving you permission to cook, but permission still kind of like you have permission to cook the way that you know you can cook. Yeah. Right? Like, yeah, I feel like that's like you have permission to flourish as a business entrepreneur.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

So when I or when I just said the word permission, though, I meant I didn't mean that necessarily just from you. I meant that like permission for me to just like do whatever and not from you. It was like permission, like in the general sense of like everyone as a business owner is waiting for permission to go and ask for the sale, or like we think that we need permission to like think outside the box, like there's this invisible thing. But you reminded me of something then too, because I think that when I brought that up to you when I came across that post of someone making like 30 grand a year working one-on-one with a client, just for one client, and I think I was already thinking I wanted to be a business coach, but I brought that up to you in that way because I was my wheels were already turning, and I wanted to share that with you, but I was really worried, not that you wouldn't say no or yes, but like again, you brought up a really good point of like, is this okay? And you were saying things and I was getting emotional, like you gave me permission to be who I was, but I didn't know I'm probably gonna cry in this episode. You like helped me realize who like what I'm actually capable of. And um you make me think about the first time we ever had a sit down at the bank.

SPEAKER_01 25:37

The one-on-one.

SPEAKER_00 25:39

And we didn't I didn't really sit down with you. I like came in and this is mind you, this is before we dated because we didn't date when we worked together. Everyone wanted us to date, but we're both in relationships. I remember like you called me in, you're like, what do you want to do with your it was like, what do you want to do with your life? Or like, where do you want to do next or something?

SPEAKER_01 26:00

Well, yeah, like I mean, I always everything is related to a movie reference for me. So as a manager, you know, what is it that you do here? Right? Like, what do you want to do?

SPEAKER_00 26:10

That's from office space, by the way. If anyone doesn't know that movie.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

That's a little bit of an old reference now.

SPEAKER_00 26:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

But yeah, I I remember that conversation and I remember, you know, having my lauren binder of like I remember making notes because I didn't know you at all.

SPEAKER_00 26:26

I have a lauren binder, you have nothing written in there.

SPEAKER_01 26:29

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I scrubbed it on my like I'm pretty sure there was stuff in there at one point that got like removed when I got told to piece out.

SPEAKER_00 26:38

Oh I had to clean out his desk because he was told to piece out very early.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

I gave proper notice. They just said make it today.

SPEAKER_00 26:46

And I had to clean up all of his mess.

SPEAKER_01 26:48

But yeah, like I remember doing the one-on-one. I remember specifically because, you know, I came in to manage and help manage that branch, and that was a relatively large branch, and I very quickly wanted to assess the staff. And so I had one-on-one to everyone. Like, what is it that you're good at? What do you want to do? Where do you see yourself? Kind of like the traditional manager stuff. But I remember like I think I had seen you work for a few days already at that point. Like I knew the things that you were capable of, and I just remember being like, why was I hired?

SPEAKER_00 27:23

Like I remember that was my thought of like I got goosebumps.

SPEAKER_01 27:27

Like, why did I get this when there's like you and maybe one and a half other people that probably internally would have had the position that I applied for from the outside? Like I and I remember specifically like thinking that, like and putting that question mark, like, would she be this in a year? Yeah, I vividly remember that from our one-on-one.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

Well, I don't remember I don't think I said that to you.

SPEAKER_01 27:51

That was just the note that I made. No, I know, I know.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

But I just don't remember I remember a one-on-one being very short. But I think like because I remember that conversation, and we didn't really have any other conversations around my progress or anything, because I got sick again and I was gone for four or five months.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

Well, and my role shifted, so then I didn't do one-on-ones with anyone.

SPEAKER_00 28:13

Yeah, your role shifted. He actually took one of my roles I was supposed to have, and he was worried that I would be mad at him because I was up for like this like finance position, but then I got sick and they didn't want to wait for me to come back or didn't think I would come back or something, and then they had Darren go for it, and I came back and I found out that he already had done the tests and everything, and they didn't tell me, and I I don't I don't remember caring that much, but later on when we started dating, you had said that you were worried that I wouldn't like talk to you or something, or you were I'd be mad at you.

SPEAKER_01 28:49

None of it was stuff that was within either of our control, right? Like they had it in mind for you, you were gone. They wanted someone to do it immediately. They basically told me to do it. Like you're doing this now. Yeah. Because I did not want to do any of that.

SPEAKER_00 29:06

I'm just remembering all these other things I would hear about you, and that you were just not happy with those changes and stuff too. That's this is taking me back now.

SPEAKER_01 29:15

I haven't thought about any of this in a long time.

SPEAKER_00 29:18

It's like that's our beginning though. But like I remember so like there was a brief, like you had left the bank, and then we kind of stayed in touch. Like you would email me. It wasn't like we weren't emailing a lot, but I think there was at some point you emailed me, or I don't know how we started emailing, but I remember it being like November or it was towards the end of the year. And I remember I was starting to look for jobs because I really wanted to move to Chicago with one of my girlfriends. And I it truly, and you I don't know, you can if you remember the story of who who who emailed who, I would assume that you emailed me at work, but we were really just you were like asking or checking in on me, or just like, hey, like what's up? Like, how are you doing? Like, how's work? And we really talked about like my career and what I wanted to do. And you were giving me like advice and then you were kind of like cheering me on. That's the extent I remember of that conversation.

SPEAKER_01 30:17

Yeah, I mean, I think that conversation was all just normal, hey, how are you? What's going on? I think, but probably did offer like I'll be a reference.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

Yes, you did. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:27

Like, let me know what you need, like, I'll absolutely be a reference. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:31

And I like and at that point too, I didn't think anything of it.

SPEAKER_01 30:35

Like I don't think I did either.

SPEAKER_00 30:37

Yeah. But I mean, it was just like again, like you were like, I might get emotional now again. Like you were like this guide, like job-wise. And then like fast forward to becoming like a business coach and stuff. I remember like very early on, like you really like I really had to like vent to you how hard it was. And yeah, like I remember being in my Facebook group being like, oh yeah, he's my mindset coach right now. And like one of my really good friends, Rebecca Richards, at that time, she was one of my very first clients, but she's like a master neurolinguistic practitioner, so super mindset person, and she was one of my clients, but she would always laugh at me because I was like anti-mindset. I was like, I'm just gonna like do this work and check off these boxes, and if I do all of that stuff, I'm gonna make a million dollars. And then when that didn't happen, I got mad. And then like I didn't realize how important mindset work was because truly at that time I was, I would even say that I'm like, no, we're not gonna talk about mindset. But I feel like the internet at that point too was like all about manifestation and like, oh, just like sit and think about this money and it's gonna be delivered to you. And I was so anti that, I still am, but like I definitely know there's more intuitiveness and mindset work and you know, energetics, things like that all make sense to me now. But like I definitely didn't work on my mindset, and that was something I've never done in my life. It was just like I was good at stuff and then I just did it. And that was the same, that was in sports, it was just like work harder. Same thing with like working out, right? Like working out every day, like be consistent, and that's the same thing with business, but that's not the same thing with sales. And I was quickly learning that I got burnt out by doing so much just to get someone to say yes and doing something someone else was telling me to do. And that was really difficult for me. That's when I like remember like I burnt out at one point. But yeah, I remember like I don't remember any specific conversations, but I just remember like always saying that you were my mindset coach and like you would like help me through things.

SPEAKER_01 33:01

Yeah, I don't I don't remember specific conversations. I definitely remember emotions because like I remember lots of struggle conversations early on. Like But like I don't remember the conversations. I remember the emotion of like struggling with this today, or I don't know if I'm gonna get yeses on these, or I'm not getting enough yes. Like I couldn't tell you specifics, but I remember that early on there was lots of this is all normal for a business owner. Yeah, this is the course, like you will get through this.

SPEAKER_00 33:35

Yeah. And then at some point things shift. So like I feel like you know, there's like there's definitely like pre-COVID and then COVID. And I feel like COVID I definitely like had a shift. Do you feel like I guess like I want to ask you between 2018 and now, so like I've almost been a business coach for eight years. So let's just think of like business coaching. When do you think it like started to like change? Was there a specific time you remember?

SPEAKER_01 34:08

I'm really bad at remembering what years for what, but I think it was when you were working your job in Chicago.

SPEAKER_02 34:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:19

Like you had a nine to five that wasn't a commute anymore. And I think it really started to shift then because I think there were times where you know you would play the dual hat of working the nine to five and you know, on your lunch break doing your business and then coming home and doing your business for a little bit or doing your business on a weekend. But when you had that job in Chicago, there was just like a profound shift in the sense of urgency. Like, cause there was no longer it like became a non-negotiable. Right? Like like brushing your teeth. It was like, I'm gonna come home and I'm gonna work for three hours and don't interrupt like this is now what's happening.

SPEAKER_00 35:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:04

Period. And so like I I feel like that was a very vivid shift of like, oh, I'm gonna work for a little bit, oh, I should work for a little bit, or hey, I should try and build on this for a little bit, like to grow my business. It was a definite shift when you had that nine to five. And I don't know if that was because you know, you had yet another nine to five that wasn't fulfilling, and so maybe that was like reinforcing that you don't have to have the nine to five route like your friends and like me that like found their nine to five that fit their thing. I think maybe that was part of it, but like really realizing that the nine to five isn't for you and kind of really trying to get all in.

SPEAKER_02 35:44

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 35:45

Yeah, I think I would agree with that, but I remember consciously getting that new job specifically to bridge the gap so I could leave earlier, the workforce earlier.

SPEAKER_01 35:59

Yeah, because I mean I think it was a good raise.

SPEAKER_00 36:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:02

And I think like it helped make build the cushion.

SPEAKER_02 36:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:06

And I I think that's true, but I simultaneously do remember the amount of hours outside of the nine to five that you were putting in drastically grew when you were doing that one compared to the other ones.

SPEAKER_02 36:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:20

Like I think you realized that you could do it, but it required more of you. I think you like had that shift, and I saw that shift of like, I can do this, but I have to do it. It's not gonna just be, oh, I work for an hour and everything works out. It's gonna be I have to make this happen and put all my eggs in this basket.

SPEAKER_00 36:42

Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Do you think that there's been like so like from that growth, like in that person, am I still the same now?

SPEAKER_01 36:53

Definitely not. Well, and again, there was a big shift because from that nine to five you left and then you had a whole new adjustment of like, oh, now I don't have to cram three and a half hours in or four hours and cut sleep. I think that that was a little bit of a hard transition of like maintaining a routine and kind of then turning your business into your nine to five and like treating it that way.

SPEAKER_00 37:21

Yeah, and we moved. Like I had left my job and then a month later we moved.

SPEAKER_01 37:28

Yeah. So I think there was like everything that we do, we tend to do everything at the same time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:35

Like let's throw as many fires because we were also trying to have a baby too during that time.

SPEAKER_01 37:41

I think that that's just how we operate is this might let's just, you know, not focus on one thing at a time. Let's focus on ten infinitely always.

SPEAKER_00 37:52

Just all goes together.

SPEAKER_01 37:53

Yeah. But I mean, I I do think that there's many shifts that I've seen, but that was yet another shift of how do you navigate treating this like a business and not just being like, I'm a business owner, I can do whatever I want whenever I want. It was like you still, in order to be successful, that dedication you put after work with the limited time you had needed to be applied to now all of the time that you had to do it. And I think that there was a transition there too, of like, okay, how flexible can I be with what I need to do and still get what I need to do done, and how not flexible should I be as well, right? Like that I just need to go 200%.

SPEAKER_00 38:35

Okay, so I want to go back though, because I I'm curious, because like I think we've we've kind of talked about this, but I guess like in a sense of then like where I'm at now versus like then what you saw that day when we were working together. And I agree with you because I can kind of sense out like because I then had your position later on in at the bank, and I like really pulled for the people that I loved and like thought that would be really good. And I felt like those people were always overlooked. And I feel like I have a really good eye for like people I want to give an opportunity to. But I guess like what were some attributes or what did you see in me that like, and maybe like even when I started my business or like when we talked about permission, like, what do you see in me that I don't see in myself? Thank you all for listening to part one of this episode with my husband, Darren. We decided that it would be really great to break this down into two parts. So I really would love for you to come back and listen to part two, and that's going to come out September 7th. So you will hear his answer and you'll hear me ask him a bunch of other questions. We really got into a lot of question and answers in that second part. So hopefully you'll come back and join us. And I hope you enjoyed this episode so far. Thanks for tuning in to another episode of Business Over Cocktails, where real stories and bold business moves come to life. If this episode lit something up in you, share it with a friend, tag me at Laurenajar or the podcast page at Business Over Cocktails. Make sure to leave a quick review as well. It helps more than you know. Until next time, keep chasing what matters and building the business that feels like you. Cheers.