Wedding Hive Podcast
Giving you the tea and ALL the buzz in the wedding world! New episodes every Wednesday!
Wedding Hive Podcast
010- Ring, Set, Go: From Engagement To Planning Your Dream Wedding
We dive into the exciting yet overwhelming process of getting engaged and the first steps in wedding planning, keeping it real about what matters and what doesn't.
• Create a dedicated wedding email for all vendor communications
• Proposals don't need to be elaborate Instagram moments to be meaningful
• Discuss vision, values, and priorities with your partner before diving into planning
• Have budget conversations early and establish clear expectations with anyone contributing financially
• Draft your guest list thoughtfully - consider who actively participates in your life
• Choose wedding party members based on meaningful relationships, not obligation
• Book your venue first as it determines your date and affects all other planning aspects
• Consider hiring a wedding planner if you're feeling overwhelmed by the process
For all our newly engaged couples – remember what matters most is celebrating your relationship. The planning should be fun, not stressful!
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That's our opinion.
Speaker 2:Them secret. Mormon wives are wild. They're crazy. I thought I was crazy. It's like I couldn't. I don't know if I I don't know. Hey Queens, it's Kelsey and Grace back with the Wedding Hive, giving you the tea and all the buzz in the wedding world. Let's jump right in. Hey Queens, welcome back to another episode of the Wedding Hive podcast. Let's jump right in. Hey Queens, welcome back to another episode of the Wedding Hive podcast. Today we are talking about all things engagements and early steps in the planning process. So, grace, yay, I know.
Speaker 1:It's so exciting. I know I remember the feeling of getting engaged. It's so special and it's so fun. It's like that moment. You've been waiting for so long and then it finally comes. Yes, so we're going to talk about all things engagements and where is the first steps in the planning process? Perfect. But before we get in, we're going to do a yes or no today. Okay, yes or no to an engagement party. Ooh.
Speaker 2:You know, I think that if you're planning a very fast wedding in a very short time period, I would say no to an engagement party. If you're gonna have an extended and like a long engagement, then I would say have an engagement party, even if it's like small, with your friends and family yeah, I think they're really cute.
Speaker 1:I didn't have one but I I don't see. I think they're fun if you're not like going out of your way and spending like a lot of money on them. Yes, I don't see. I think they're fun if you're not like going out of your way and spending like a lot of money on them.
Speaker 1:I don't think it should be like a necessary like oh, you need to spend because you already have the bridal shower, You're going to have the bachelorette parties, Like there's already other things you need to spend money on. Oh, like the wedding.
Speaker 2:In the wedding, like the whole freaking reason we're here.
Speaker 1:So I think, if you do it like fun and budget friendly and like just like a house or like even like a barbecue kickback, or something I'm for it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think if you keep it simple, sweet, cute celebration, then I'm all for it. I think it's adorable. So tell me about your proposal, my proposal.
Speaker 1:Well, it was in Sedona. Me and John always loved Sedona. When we first started dating we would always go up there like any weekend. We got the chance to go and, um, yeah, I, I guess I'll not debunk but I totally knew it was happening.
Speaker 1:I think there's so much pressure or people always like it has to be the big surprise. I mean, you kind of know, unless you're, unless your man's really good at surprising I know there are some women who are you surprised, but it's like, oh, let's go to Sedona this weekend. My family and I'm just like, okay, it's kind of weird. We've been talking, looked at rings and stuff. So I totally knew it was happening.
Speaker 1:But I think, in my opinion, it doesn't matter if you know, because in that moment it's so special. So, even though I knew we're walking up, I's like so special. So, even though I knew we're walking up, I'm like, okay, I know what's going to happen. You know it's just that moment you've been waiting for for so long and talking about and I just I loved every second of it and you know. And then that feeling after and you know, getting to tell everyone and do the FaceTime calls, so I think it's special. Don't put so much pressure on ladies. Don't put so much pressure on your man, because they're already worried enough about the proposal in itself and I don't think it needs to be some huge elaborate thing in my opinion. I used to joke with him I'm like you could propose to me in an out parking lot, Like I'll say yes, but yeah, I loved my, my proposal.
Speaker 2:I just heard the cutest proposal, okay, last week. Um, I was talking to a couple and they just moved to Arizona from super, super far away. So they drove from their previous home to Arizona and it was on the drive. He like faked having a flat tire. And so, yes, so he faked having a flat tire, genius. So he faked having a flat tire, like parked or you know, pulled off on the side of the road, went down and was like hey, I need you to come over here and like see what's going on. And she was like freaking out oh, yeah, a road trip. And he popped to the question oh, and her whole family knew that's so cute, it was so cute.
Speaker 1:That's like exactly what I'm saying. He doesn't have to be some John Labbert thing, like that's so cute and so special, or like if you guys have some place you guys love to go to eat, or you know, you know other things that you guys share together. Just, I think, as long as it's special between you two, that's all that matters.
Speaker 2:I mean, I was laying in bed and I was like yo, you're going to marry me. You said listen here. And he's like what?
Speaker 1:He said oh shoot, oh, we're doing this.
Speaker 2:And I said yep, you're going to marry me and like 12 years later, and yep, I love that Good thing, he said, yes, I know right. So what if he said no, how do you do you think, don't really think that girls should be the one proposing? I think, like, I love the tradition of like the guy going to her family or her parents or those you know who raised her and asked for the permission for their hand. Um, we like, we say all the time I did things so untraditional. Um, I think that if my son came home and was like yeah, she's like we're getting married, I'd be like she's gone, keep her out. Yeah, she does not get to marry you. Oh my gosh. So yeah, but already let's talk about, um, announcing your engagement on social media. Should they have parties, private parties, like big social events? What are your takes on that?
Speaker 1:I think definitely. When it comes to proposals, I don't know how do you feel about like public ones or private proposals?
Speaker 2:I think it gives it away when everybody's around like to have a big gathering. I think it also depends on the relationships with the families. Like I would be so thrown off if both my family and my husband's family were all in one room I'd be like what are we all doing here that would?
Speaker 1:give it away.
Speaker 2:I said it's about to get a little toxica, correct? This is weird, leave immediately. So I think there's something to be said about like intimate private engagements, but I like them.
Speaker 1:And then they have a party afterwards.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I couldn't imagine, like I said, just that moment so special of not being bombarded. But I guess it's more like the couple, like you know, because I feel like a lot of girls you know, talk about how they want to be proposed to their soon to be fiancees. Yes, girls, we all know we do it, we all talk about it, which I think is also normal and fine, I think being like, hey, I want it public or I don't, or make sure my nails are done, or that kind of stuff, because you do want it to be special, you want to look nice and stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I do think, though and I could totally be hated on for saying this but if you were doing all of these things just to have it flaunted on social media, your intentions are in the wrong place.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I totally agree, it's like ick.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, it's gross. Don't spend all this money on a lavish party and all you know, a million balloons and all of these roses for this you know. Picture perfect proposal, just for it to be put on social media.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know, I agree, I think social media, too, is like so big with that and proposals and the standards that they have now and it's like it doesn't need to be like that. I promise it doesn't.
Speaker 1:No, I agree, yeah, and I think too, whenever you want to share, share it is. And also, I remember I wasn't mad or anything, but I remember my girlfriend we had called and facetimed her and she like immediately posted it on her Instagram story and I was like can you please take that down? Like, yeah, you know and I don't think it's ever ill will or like intentions but anyone, if you have friends, do not post anything until the couple has had time, because that's definitely it's almost like, you know, a baby announcement. You don't want that special moment taken away from you. And I know it's kind of crazy now that we're all even like, oh, it's just social media. But you know you want to have your moment and you know, in your time I remember you know posting and just you know we were at dinner after and we're just like reading all the comments and people are texting us and I think it's just special to leave it to the couple first to announce and then, of course, after you want to post and celebrate them, then that's totally fine.
Speaker 2:Yep, I agree. Um, so you are engaged. Now what, um? First thing we always say is we harp on and get that uh couple email, an email that is created for you and your significant other to be able to have all of the information funneled through. That way it doesn't get lost in work, school emails, all of the spam that you get. Just create one wedding email. Next thing is I would definitely hop on Pinterest. Start trying to figure out what your vision is. What are you looking for, what type of style? All of those pieces? We did a daily buzz that goes kind of in detail with kind of going through that. So make sure you check out that daily buzz. Talk to me, grace, your thoughts on visions, values and priority in those early staging yes, planning stages.
Speaker 1:Planning your wedding's a big task. It's really a lot If you looking back. Sometimes I wish we would have hired a planner. Um, I did, um, you know we gave ourselves so much time to plan, so it wasn't that bad. You know we planned for like a year and nine months, so, but it's a lot.
Speaker 1:And I think, definitely in the beginning, having that initial sit down conversation with your now fiance of you know what is most important to us, Um, budget, of course, Um, and then definitely picking the venue, cause you really can't, um, start any of the process unless you've picked the venue and, of course, you know, solidified your date, and I think then the timeline just goes on from there. I mean, I honestly like the first thing we did was, of course, order, like save the dates. I was always like I'd rather get people more time than not enough. Start that guest list, of course, obviously. And it's crazy.
Speaker 1:I remember we thought we were going to have like this big wedding and then by the time we kind of actually sat down and planned, it was like wait, we haven't seen so-and-so in you know a year or you know we haven't. Actually, when's the last time we like went on, you know, a double date with this couple, you know, and it's not that you don't like these people, but it's just, at the end of the day, it's a wedding. It's not like a birthday party, it's not like you're throwing a Halloween party and it's like anyone can come.
Speaker 1:You know this is your wedding day, so make sure you're inviting the guest list that you think is going to just celebrate you guys and make your day the best it can be, because, I mean, the guest list is gonna make or break it, in my opinion. I absolutely agree.
Speaker 2:When you're thinking about your vision. Are you wanting to get married in a church or are you wanting to do an outdoor wedding? Is your vision to do some type of destination wedding? Are you wanting to do something local? Some of those visions could include are you going for more of a boho, a themed, a black tie wedding? What do those? What does that vision look like for you and your fiance?
Speaker 2:Values and priorities I feel like those two kind of go hand in hand a little bit. What like with priorities, what is the most important thing to you and your fiance? Is it to make your guests have an incredible experience? Is it to have an incredible cake and desserts? Is it to have, like, top end bar services? Is it do you want to DJ or band? What are some of those priorities for you? Are some really good things to talk about and lay that foundation in going into the planning process. That way, you're able to reference back, especially, say, you see something really cool like a bridal expo and you're like, oh my gosh, I love that and I want it and it's $10,000 and it's out of budget and you love it. Go back to that vision and your priorities and see, does that align with that, so let's have a conversation on the budget.
Speaker 1:My least favorite subject to talk about money.
Speaker 2:Everybody, everyone's like least favorite subject.
Speaker 1:Correct, which is totally fine, it's totally normal, it's. You know, money is always that awkward Like you don't want to talk about it and I would definitely say in the beginning who is paying for this wedding.
Speaker 2:How is?
Speaker 1:this wedding getting paid for? Are you paying for it all yourself? Are you having parents help? Are you having siblings help?
Speaker 1:There's so many different avenues to go down and ways to pay for a wedding, so I would definitely figure that out because that's going to go into hand ways to pay for a wedding. So I would definitely figure that out because that's going to go into hand with your budget. Like, we were fortunate enough to have our parents kind of essentially go three ways with the whole wedding budget and that was helpful and we've always talked about. We're very fortunate and very lucky because I can promise you I would not have had a wedding if they didn't, you know, contribute because weddings are very expensive now, you know, in 2025. So, making sure you have those conversations and make sure you are firm on your conversations with these people and whoever's helping, and making sure that. My biggest piece of advice is just, if someone's helping, just make sure you talk about that. At the end of the day, um, this is your wedding and it's not theirs. And if they're not okay with accepting that, then me personally, I would not take the money correct, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1:I just wouldn't even deal with it. All it's going to create is drama and stress, and you're already stressed enough. So that's definitely my opinion on that. Yeah, what do you think?
Speaker 2:Oh, budget and money. It just brings me back to all the haters on TikTok.
Speaker 1:I know you said plasma. Yes, I said plasma. Nobody wants to hear the word plasma. Yeah, I know we're going to have like we're like we have PTSD from that right now, but it has been done.
Speaker 2:It is not that we are saying to do it. Yeah, we were just saying these are suggested ways Correct.
Speaker 1:People have paid for the wedding. We're not telling to go in debt and donate plasma. I mean, you can if you want.
Speaker 2:Correct but can take out a loan, you can get a credit card, you can donate plasma and you can get a second job. You can reassess your own finances. Is there areas in your life that you can maybe cut back for a season to save more money to put towards the wedding? Have those conversations with family members. Who's paying for what? I just met with a cup another couple and the mom said I stay out of the planning process. I tell my kids this is my third kiddo getting married. I have four kids. I give them a number. They can do with it what they want.
Speaker 1:And I was like preach mama. Can you tell other parents, can you come on the podcast and tell them that, yeah, can you come tell everybody about this Please, because?
Speaker 2:you have it. So budget conversations start to have those conversations early on. That way nothing gets tripped up later in the planning process. I want to jump back to guest list conversations. I saw a really good suggestion. It said check who wished you happy birthday on your past birthday. If they did not wish you a happy birthday, they should not be on your guest list.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm so petty, I should have done that. And I was like okay, you're like wait.
Speaker 2:that's fair, though.
Speaker 1:So, yes, start to draft that I'm gonna start doing that. Yeah, anytime I do anything actually. Now I'm just gonna be like did you wish me a happy birthday?
Speaker 2:Dang Grace, I Happy birthday.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know, if you don't say happy birthday, I'm just going to be a result.
Speaker 2:Okay, I know. So draft that guest list, start thinking about who you want to have at your wedding so you can have an idea. Because you're that budget. That guest list is really going to determine where you go in looking at venues because of capacity and price tags.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, capacity and price tags is a big thing. I know, Well, also, we want to kind of talk about a little bit too. Once you're engaged, picking out your wedding party is a big thing, I would say. Being freshly married and just going through the whole process, we were very. My husband definitely has more friends than me and I'm not afraid of him. I would say he just has had more longer.
Speaker 2:Why do you need more friends? If I'm your friend, I know that's what I said.
Speaker 1:I equate like six different personalities for you, you're like six in one well it was so funny because I remember my sister is seven years older than me and when I was, you know, younger and she was around my age, she was like, oh yeah, I have like no friends, not no friends. But she's like I only have a small one. And I was like, wow, you're a loser. And then I'm like, oh, wow, you're right. I think too. Just like getting older, it's like you don't need these friendships that take away from your energy. So when I came to picking my bridal party, even though my husband had a lot of friendships growing up, I feel like the guys always do the sports like, oh well, t-ball and the flag football, so he's known so many different guy friends from that. Um, and I said I don't care. I said I love you, I love our friends.
Speaker 1:But I said, first of all, thinking about it, a big thing for me is that is, you know, we not expect. I mean, I guess, yeah, I'll say that we expected our bridal party to pay for the dresses, pay for their tux, pay for hair and makeup. Obviously, the guys don't pay for that. But you know, I was like, think about, when we're asking people in our bridal party, like the financial obligation that comes with that and you know so too.
Speaker 1:The bachelorette party, like that's another trip. If they come, then you know they're gonna have to take off work and X, y, z. So I said let's keep it family and one friend, and that I feel like worked really good for us One. I would expect our family to pay for those things because you're our family and my brother and sister have been married and I've, you know, been through the same process and which I have no problem with doing, you know. So, um, we just went that route and then we had, um, our closest best friend as our one friend and I just felt like that was perfect. So, and I'm very anti large bridal parties- I'm sorry, I just I really don't get it.
Speaker 1:I just like why are you having 10 plus people in a bridal party? You can come for me. I just I don't see the point. So that's my opinions on bridal party and picking out who you should have.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I agree with you. I think it should be the people that are the ones you would call at 2 am. Are the ones you would call at 2 am in a crisis? Who are those people that have your back, celebrate, are going to rally around you and your fiance? I am completely comfortable with bridal party sizes being different, like on bride's side and groom's side, or on each partner having different sides. Oh, like not even. Yeah, okay, I've seen that trending very recently and I think that shows some authenticity to those people you want in them. Don't add somebody in your bridal party because you have to match what the other partner has.
Speaker 1:Yeah, actually I love that. I didn't think about that Because that was a big thing on mine too. I was like, because he had more friends and I was like I want it to be even. And so, yeah, I did pull that. I said no, I want it to be even, but I mean exactly, just because you know. Sorry, honey, I love you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like, but Sorry to the people, she kicked out.
Speaker 1:I know I had to profusely apologize to them. No, I'm just kidding. Well, we like we had other ways, we incorporated, like incorporated those friends Like we had one was like an usher and stuff like that. So we still had them in the wedding party, but it was just not in the bridal party. But I also feel like I've seen a lot of other people do no bridal parties, which is, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I've had a few this spring. I don't know how I feel about that Really, I don't hate it, but I don't love it.
Speaker 1:I'm like wait, but I'm also like very like my wedding. But I'm also like very like my wedding. I did a lot of like the same, like traditions and stuff, the bouquet, like all that stuff. So maybe I just like it because of that and I guess I was like my sister's maid of honor and I was in like my brother's you know wedding as a bridesmaid. So I don't know, I think it would make me sad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I really enjoyed the weddings that I did. That didn't have bridal parties. Um, there was just this like really special, intimate feel to the like getting ready process. It was just like her and her mom I had one a few years ago. It was really cool. She didn't have a bridal party and she had her son like their son hang out with her all day. And so like it was unique to what worked for them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I like that too, I know, and I feel like I've seen a lot too. Even to what worked for them. Yeah, I like that too, I know, and I feel like I've seen a lot too. Even having bridal parties but having them like sit in the front row Like they don't stand up there with them, which I don't know how I feel about that either. I don't know, I didn't do that, but like my brother, I love him so much and they got married to Catholic church, so that was like a lot of like up and down and standing for like so long, so that might've been nice.
Speaker 1:If you could have just sat the whole time. I was like wait, when is this ending?
Speaker 2:Let's talk about 45 minutes ceremony.
Speaker 1:I know, and I just have never yeah, I've never been to a Catholic wedding and that it was you know. That's whoever you know, that's whoever you know, totally fine. But it was definitely different because I've been to most weddings it was like 10 minutes and just rings, kiss and we're done so that was interesting to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was invited to a Catholic wedding, but I wasn't allowed in because I had pink hair. Because you had pink hair. Yeah, oh, shoot, I like didn't fit the.
Speaker 1:Oh, they said sinner. I know, wait when talking about churches, guys. I'm sorry we have to talk about this, but secret lives of women wives we screw Demi, we literally hate you, I can't. I thought she was the worst.
Speaker 2:She's terrible.
Speaker 1:She was a walk in the park compared to Demi, I know I don't know what was up her asshole.
Speaker 2:It got to her head that she was the fan favorite.
Speaker 1:I could not believe my jaw was actually on the floor when I heard that she tried to kick Jesse out for more money. I was like that. And then she's like you guys literally don't even care about me.
Speaker 2:You're just trying to boo her, correct.
Speaker 1:What kind of friend are you?
Speaker 2:You're a backstabber. I know she's the worst. No, she is the worst. And then she tried to silence Jen because of what happened in Italy, which I don't know. I watched the Italy episode, oh yeah, I didn't watch it. In Italy, which I don't know, I watched the Italy episode, oh yeah, I didn't watch it. Yeah, sketch, I don't know. I kind of I don't fault Demi for the conversations she was having with Marciano. Okay, because I was trying to put myself in her shoes. No, she should have been flirting with him from the get-go, like that's the issue.
Speaker 2:She like opened up a door because she came in super flirty. However, some of the conversation was like she was like trying to encourage him and tell him. Like I don't know, I could see, I could kind of see her uncomfortable. Like she was uncomfortable in that conversation and was like trying I don't think she was trying to hook up with him, okay.
Speaker 1:But then now this whole Jesse and Marciano in that conversation and was like trying I don't think she was trying to hook up with him, okay. But then now this whole Jesse and Marciano like sleeping, like I just don't get where that even came from. Yeah, I don't know, that was like super random.
Speaker 2:So I don't know. It's very sus, it's sus and Demi blows.
Speaker 1:I just don't like her. And then she was like railing it on Taylor and I was like girl, and her too. Let's boot her out, girl. She literally started this, correct. If there's one person that, I'm sorry, can never be booted out, it's literally.
Speaker 2:Taylor, it's Taylor.
Speaker 1:You would not be rich and famous if it was not for her Correct Do I think she has erotic behavior?
Speaker 2:Yes, but you know, that's just who she is. Yeah, I'm all for taylor, I know. I think that it's funny that they got together, and that was the first thing she said was let's take a vote. Like bitch, who do you think you are?
Speaker 1:I know to get to start this like voting game she's like, and then whitney's like please, please, please, please, please. When he's just like begging, I still am not a fan of whitney. Yeah, she's just like. And now her and demi are BFFs, but it's not surprising.
Speaker 2:Trauma bonding.
Speaker 1:They're trauma bonding and they're like the out.
Speaker 2:The outcast. They're on the outcast. So yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:That's our opinion. Them secret.
Speaker 2:Mormon wives are wild. They're crazy. I thought I was crazy.
Speaker 1:It's like I I couldn, I don't know Well, yeah, Like we were talking about, like the Catholic church, like you went in and like you couldn't go in, and like they're so strict about their rules. I'm just like some of the stuff. I'm like what is going on? I'm like I cannot believe I'm watching this, but that's why they're on a reality TV show.
Speaker 2:So, because they're wild, go get them tiger. We can recap so you are now engaged. Here is your elevator pitch on your initial steps. Yep, we're going up, baby, we're not going down. Why is your elevator going down?
Speaker 1:I don't know. It's going all the way up to the penthouse suite, baby.
Speaker 2:Yes. So sit down with your PA on say Talk about your vision, your values, those priorities. Start that budget. Start talking about it Rough. Draft the budget. Who's paying for what? How are we going to pay for it with that timeline? Draft your guest list. Start to think about those people that you absolutely know you want there. Consider hiring a planner, if that's something that you think you're going to need help with. And book vendors, too. And those vendors, start looking you're going to need help with, and book vendors too, and those vendors start looking at those vendors, especially if you have someone you want, you are going to have to start with your venue.
Speaker 2:That is going to be the first thing that you're able to do before you start doing save the dates building your website, because you can't do anything without a date you can't do anything without a venue. You literally cannot, and you can't pick your venue on your date if it's not available. So those are kind of your first launching points. We will get into the next stages of planning in a future episode yeah, well, thank you guys so much for listening into our episode today.
Speaker 1:Be sure to follow us, like and comment on this video, and we'll see you guys next week for our next episode. Bye.