Wedding Hive Podcast
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Wedding Hive Podcast
The Friend-or-Vendor Dilemma
We tackle the complex question of hiring friends and family during wedding planning, exploring how to set healthy boundaries while maintaining relationships throughout the process.
• Setting boundaries is crucial when family or friends help plan your wedding
• Clearly define their level of involvement and decision-making authority from the start
• Distinguish between planning assistance and day-of responsibilities
• Avoid having friends or family serve dual roles (like bridesmaid and coordinator)
• Be wary of friends serving as vendors while also trying to be guests
• Ensure those close to you can fully enjoy your wedding day rather than working it
• Professional vendors should maintain professionalism and not drink while working
• Having someone help with planning doesn't mean they should execute day-of tasks
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Hey queens, welcome back to another episode of the Daily Buzz. So today we had an Instagram listener send in a DM asking about hiring friends and family during the wedding planning process. We love to talk about this kind of stuff. I don't know how I feel about that. I mean okay.
Speaker 1:So in my opinion, if you are hiring friends and family, it can always get sticky because they know you. So I think in the beginning, if you're hiring them for anything, set a good boundary of what they're going to be providing or how far their opinion is to go, because I think sometimes family oversteps, and especially during the planning process. I personally had my mom helping me during the planning process and thankfully she was always on my side. She would present stuff to me or we would brainstorm and sometimes I would say, oh yes, I love that idea, and sometimes I'd be like that's not really the look or vision we're going for, and she, at the end of the day, was always like yep, whatever you want, that's what we're going to do, and she said I'm just here to help you and make this as easy as possible. So I think, making sure you have a good, healthy relationship too, and just make sure you have boundaries during the planning process.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:What do you think?
Speaker 2:I have so many feelings on this topic and it's for so many reasons. So there are some people that come in and my best friend just planned her wedding and so she's going to plan mine and she's going to help me with mine. That's great.
Speaker 1:You want the help plan mine and she's gonna help me with mine.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's great. You want the help you want because they just went through it. Because they've gone through it, the questions are, like you said, how much involvement are they going to have? Um, is their role just like sit down over coffee and and shoot some ideas? We're thinking about this, we're doing that. Um. Or are they offering, like, a full planning service? Are you paying them? Like what is this?
Speaker 1:involving yes, are they offering like a full planning service? Are you paying them Like? What is this involving?
Speaker 2:Yes. Are they going over contracts and going to tastings and doing like floral arrangements, all of those things? The other place where I think it unfortunately gets the most sticky is on wedding day, because there needs to be a clear understanding of are they going to be behind the scenes running the timeline, making sure every vendor is where they need to be at the time they going to be behind the scenes running the timeline, making sure every vendor is where they need to be at the time they need to be there, or are they attending your wedding?
Speaker 1:yeah, like on day of. Let's clarify that with whoever's helping correct, because if they're in your bridal party they can't be your coordinator, yeah, or they can't be checking in with vendors because they're being stretched I feel like one time I saw a friend was a bridesmaid, but then also like a second shooter, almost for photography, and I'm just like how is that going to work out? I just don't know how that works.
Speaker 2:I've seen photographers who are friends and so they have a place at the table because they're a guest, but they're also the photographer, but then because they're a friend and this isn't a diss on people who hire friends, it's the. I've seen them then be drinking, and I'm so against vendors drinking when they're working a job.
Speaker 1:I mean anyone should not be drinking on the job.
Speaker 2:That their work then gets sloppy or they lost their camera or whatever it might be, because now they're in like the party vibes, because they're a friend and they're doing a favor, but they're also now a guest. So it stretches people thin, yeah so, having a friend, you, you want those core people.
Speaker 2:If it's your bridal party, sister mom, whoever it is, like you said, because your mom really helped she was the the spine and behind the wedding planning, but then she got to come in and enjoy the day because you had a coordinator actually execute what you guys planned 100. So that's where I think it. Yeah, no, I totally agree conversations.
Speaker 1:I think if you're gonna have help, great, but then if they're also a guest, then either have someone else taking over those duties the day of or um, I guess, yeah, I wouldn't have them perform those duties. And if they're gonna have to because, then it have them perform those duties. And if they're going to have to because, then it's not fair too, because, especially if they're in their bridal party and stuff like that, you know they're spending money on their hair makeup and then you know they want to relax and enjoy themselves too. And you know I would hate if I ever made any of my bridesmaids, or like mom, feel like they had to work on my wedding day, because you know I want them to enjoy the moment with me as well so just make sure you have stuff squared away.
Speaker 2:Cleared away, yes, is what's going to happen, and otherwise I think it's, it's good so when somebody comes in and they say my friend is helping plan it, it's the. Are they your person, your buddy, who's who's helping with vision and design, and that best friend that you talk about it all of it, yeah or are they actually coming in and executing the day? Yep, because those are two very different things. Yep, exactly. So well, that is your daily buzz. We will see you next time.