Wedding Hive Podcast
Giving you the tea and ALL the buzz in the wedding world! New episodes every Wednesday!
Wedding Hive Podcast
020 - Destination Wedding Drama
Planning a destination wedding comes with unique challenges, especially when guests complain about travel expenses. We dive into the definition of destination weddings and offer practical advice for couples navigating guest expectations.
• The term "destination wedding" has softened—technically it's any wedding outside the couple's hometown, not just exotic locations
• When guests complain about travel expenses, couples shouldn't feel guilty if they've provided 12-18 months notice
• Be prepared for some guests to decline attending due to financial constraints
• Alternative ways to include guests who can't attend include hosting a separate celebration back home
• Dream destination wedding locations discussed include Italian vineyards, Lake Como, Greek islands, and beaches
• Consider practical limitations of beach weddings like sand, privacy issues, and local regulations
• Remember that your wedding should reflect your vision, not bend to accommodate everyone's preferences
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Hey Queens, it's Kelsey and Grace back with the Wedding Hive.
Speaker 2:Giving you the tea and all the buzz in the wedding world.
Speaker 1:Let's jump right in. Hey Queens, welcome back to another episode of the Wedding Hive. So Grace and I are here together today and we have a listener question that has come in and I think this is a great one. And are you ready? Oh, I'm ready, baby, perfect, okay, best way to handle guest complaints about the travel expenses for a destination wedding. So destination wedding. I think that this really quick, just to like throw it out there. I think destination the term destination wedding is gone a little soft.
Speaker 2:Okay, I agree with that so much because people will go to a different state, which I guess is a destination for them. But in my mind I don't know about you I'm thinking like Hawaii, italy.
Speaker 1:Europe and everyone's like we, italy, mexico, Europe, europe.
Speaker 2:And everyone's like we're having a destination wedding in Montana. I'm like that's not really a destination wedding.
Speaker 1:Like, what's the definition of a destination wedding? I'm going to look it up. Perfect, Because like we've traveled out of state to attend a wedding and they are getting married in their hometown and I'm not like I'm headed to a destination wedding.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would never say that.
Speaker 1:But we're attending a wedding in California and the bride and groom both live in Arizona, and so I feel like that is slightly a destination wedding because it's not in their home base. What's like that is slightly a destination wedding because it's not in their home base. What's the official definition of a destination wedding?
Speaker 2:A destination wedding is a wedding ceremony and a reception held outside of the couple's hometown, usually in a picturesque location. It's an opportunity to celebrate in a dream destination, often a tropical location like the caribbean, mexico, or a city like paris, london. So I I know it says I agree with that hometown. Yeah, because that's I. Yeah, I just don't see how a different state is like. Like if someone from europe came here and was like I want to get married in sedona, then that would be a destination wedding for them.
Speaker 1:I think, anything outside of your hometown, for two reasons. One, you're traveling-, so you're taking back what you said. No, no, no, no. Well, okay, from a guest standpoint. Going back from a guest standpoint, I cannot say I am attending a destination wedding when I am the one traveling to another state where the couple resides. That is not a destination wedding for me. To be trapped, I'm going to be paying travel expenses to travel to their wedding. Yeah, but I'm not. I'm and I'm going to a different destination.
Speaker 1:I feel like it'd have to be like a flight at least, or something so destination wedding I am attending a wedding in san diego this fall and the bride and groom both live here in arizona and I would consider that a destination wedding because they do not reside in california. They are traveling to their destination to get married okay, so there I see what you did there.
Speaker 1:Going back to the question how do you handle guest complaints on expenses? This is going to sound so rude, but suck it up. Either pay the expenses or don't go If you gave them enough time. I usually tell couples because we do a lot of destination weddings and travel expenses if you're giving them a good 12 to 18 months Ample time, notice for them to look at flights, rental cars, hotels You're looking at the costs in enough time. Then there really is not much excuse. I don't think the bride and groom should be responsible for paying for those expenses um, to fly their people or vouchers Like that's, just that's silly.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, I totally agree. I think if you're giving them enough time, they can make that decision for themselves. Is it financially a good decision for them to go, or can they make it work? Then that's when you'd go.
Speaker 2:I remember my one ex-girlfriend we're not friends anymore, but she would always just be like we're going to get married in Greece and y Yachty, and I'm like girl, I'm telling you right now I will not be paying to fly to Greece just for your wedding. Like I love you. And she always was, like that's what I want, I'd be, like, but I'm not paying for that, I'm sorry. Like that's, and you know that I feel like it was. If you're fair about it and say you know straight up, I'm not going to be able to go, or like I financially cannot do it, then you know, then that's that'll make the situation easier and then they won't be able to come. But I just I think if you want to do a destination wedding, do it though for sure, if that's your dream and you want that, but just be prepared for people to not want to make the time to go or fly out there or spend the money.
Speaker 1:You can't take it personally. Yeah, john, we attended a wedding in I'm trying to think, 2019, because it was pre-COVID and it was not a destination wedding. They were getting married in their hometown, but we were going to have to travel and so we traveled with our entire family and that's what, what made financial sense, and we were able to do it that year. And then one of their siblings got married in 24, and just my husband and I went because not because the kids weren't invited.
Speaker 2:We're not going into that topic.
Speaker 1:It's way more expensive, that's what made sense for, like our family, where it was able, it made sense for us to go as a family and the timing made sense. The finances made sense In 2024,. We looked at the budget and we looked at the schedule and said this time just husband and I are going out. And there was also another wedding that we didn't attend because it wasn't in the in the finances to to travel. And that's okay. They still got married.
Speaker 2:They had a beautiful wedding.
Speaker 2:And it's like you can do also if, like, you're having guests not come. I mean, for me, I feel like if I was in that situation and said, hey, like financially, like we just really couldn't like swing it this year, or whatever, send them a gift, like send them a card of money in it, like do something that you know, like send them a card of money in it, like do something that you know could maybe be, or say you live in that same area as them, or whatever you know, attend the bridal shower, attend, you know, other events you know. But if you can't make it to the wedding because of, like, financial reasons, I think there's definitely a lot of other areas that you can go around to still make them feel like loved and special and that, like you care and that you want to take time out of your day, and you know why do guests feel the right to decide where somebody gets married?
Speaker 1:and then throw a fit about it, Like if, if you have found a location that is very special to you and your significant other, then that is your spot. Like that that is very special to you and your significant other, then that is your spot. Like that is okay. I knew somebody who got married in Iceland right, I think it was Iceland.
Speaker 2:Was it Winter Wonderland theme? It was gorgeous. Oh, I bet it was beautiful. It was so pretty.
Speaker 1:I would freeze my ass off, though they did a very small elopement and it was just them. And then they had like a cute little celebration when they came home with like their close friends and family and and it was what they wanted.
Speaker 2:Yeah, or a lot of people will do that too. Like you said, my, my brother and his wife didn't end up doing that, but they got married in her hometown of Indiana. So like we all flew there and like went and, you know, obviously celebrated that's, you know, my brother and our family, but and they never ended up doing it, but we always toggled with the idea for our family that didn't come, like who lived here, to like come back, have a party. So I think you can do that too. There's like other ways to go around it to still have the people that you love. That can't make it to still feel involved in the whole situation. But I think there's a lot you can do to make it work. Yeah, if you can, where would you go for a desk? Like, if you could pick anywhere to get married, like destination wise, where would that be for you?
Speaker 1:I just I need to know probably italy um I'd want to get married in Italy.
Speaker 2:Want to get married where Jeff Bezos got married.
Speaker 1:Um, probably more like Hillside, not not uh Venice. Like I'd want a gorgeous venue with lots of greenery, uh vineyard yeah.
Speaker 2:I know I would do that. I don't know if you've ever seen a picture of it, but it's called it's Lake Como, italy. Is it stunning? I have to show you a picture, doctor. It's just like I'm pretty sure I'm not a big Star Wars fan, but there's like one like main well-known scene in Star Wars that like everyone knows and it's like was filmed, kind of the same thing, like hillside, but it's like all ocean and all just like old architecture and it's so If I had all the money in the world, I would definitely get married there. Or Greece would be fun too. I was going to say Greece would be really pretty. Yeah, greece, maybe like Santorini or something, definitely like ocean. If I didn't get married where I got married, here in Arizona, I definitely would have done a beach, cause I'm such a beach girl and I love the beach and I think that'd be so pretty.
Speaker 1:I am an ocean girl to the core and love it, but I would not want to get married on the beach. I know the sand. I would not want the sand. I wouldn't want my dress to like and originally I was in this like we always talked about how cool it'd be to get married in Hawaii, but Hawaii has laws and you can't have more than 12 people on their beaches.
Speaker 2:Oh, like in a congregated area or whatever to do so you couldn't get.
Speaker 1:There's no way to have a large gathering ceremony on the beach in Hawaii. I didn't know that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, fun fact of the day. But that makes sense though, because then everyone would like probably just go there and like you would just like go to visit hawaii, and there would just be like people just getting married on the beach, yeah, and just more than 12 people you're just trying to like. I also would get that's like when we went to rocky point, which is mexico, one time we were at the hotel and someone was getting married there and like it was so pretty, but then it was like they can't block off the people who are just staying at the hotel, so they're just like people walking by in swimsuits, like rightfully so, like they're staying at their hotel, like they're on a vacation, and I was like dang, that would like totally kill the vibe, because it's like you know you want that like beach, you know backdrop. But then it's like you know you want that like beach, you know backdrop, but then it's like they can't force everyone at the hotel to like not go to the pool, not go down to the beach, and so I was like oof, but it was fun.
Speaker 2:Everyone in their balconies was like watching the wedding, and then they kissed and everyone cheered. So that was cute. That's so cool. Everyone like saw them get married. Like me and my husband just sat out there and watched him. We're like, oh, that is cute. So, and everyone cheered for them. So I loved it, that's cute.
Speaker 1:So well listener. We wish you luck.
Speaker 2:Don't feel guilty, don't feel guilty at all.
Speaker 1:Don't feel bad. It is about you and your significant other. So