Wedding Hive Podcast
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Wedding Hive Podcast
023- Micro Weddings: Big Dreams, Small Gatherings
Micro weddings are trending but don't automatically mean cost savings. We examine the realities of planning an intimate celebration with fewer than 50 guests.
• Micro weddings typically include 20-50 guests but maintain traditional wedding elements
• Post-COVID popularity has shifted wedding expectations and planning approaches
• Venue costs generally remain the same regardless of guest count
• Catering and decor offer the most significant savings opportunities
• Smaller guest lists allow for deeper connections with each attendee
• Weekday weddings are becoming more common for micro celebrations
• Non-traditional venues like art galleries and private gardens are trending
• Themed micro weddings (vintage, boho, 1920s) offer creative possibilities
• Clear communication helps manage expectations with uninvited guests
• Even small weddings benefit from professional coordination
• Prioritizing experiences over quantity creates memorable celebrations
• Focus on what matters most to you as a couple rather than others' expectations
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Hey Queens, Welcome back to another episode of the Wedding Hive. Today, Kelsey and Grace are here to talk all things micro wedding. But before we do that, Grace, we just had a three-day Labor Day weekend. How was your weekend?
Speaker 2:Mine was good. Yeah, we didn't do much. I just moved into a new spot, so I've been trying to organize, get everything put away. And then on Monday I just had a pool day with my family, so it was fun. Yeah, we just went and hung out, you know, had snacks at the pool. My sister-in-law's birthday is actually the 2nd of September, so we did a little birthday cake and saying happy birthday to her, so it was fun. It was a good time. Got my last I think my last tan for the summer, because it's September, even though it's still going to probably be hot for another month here in Arizona, I think I might be at the end of my pool days. So it was a nice goodbye to summer.
Speaker 1:But we don't have to say goodbye quite yet to those nice tans. Because we have Alchemy Tan, alchemy Bronze. Yes, the amazing Leah who keeps us nice and tan. So, even though that's the last of it for the sun.
Speaker 2:I know we have our girl. Our girl that's gonna keep us tan. I'm gonna get one right before my honeymoon so I look golden and bronze, so I'm excited I went in yesterday and got mine done and it looks so good it was so funny because the air conditioning she apologized, she goes, don't get naked yet because it's so cold.
Speaker 1:And I was like, well, I was just outside and it's fine. And then, once I undress, I was like naked yet because it's so cold. And I was like, well, I was just outside and it's fine. And then, once I undress, I was like, oh my gosh, it's freezing, you said actually. I need a parka because it's freezing here, so the good thing is I have no sweat marks, because it was nice and chilly in there.
Speaker 2:That's the only tough thing about the spray tans is that you have to keep it cold because you don't want to sweat, but then you're freezing. So it's a double edged sword sometimes. But as long as it looks good, who cares? And now I'm really is pain.
Speaker 1:Yes, exactly nice and tan and ready to go. What did you?
Speaker 2:do for labor day? Do you guys do anything?
Speaker 1:we avoided the sun. Um, actually, that's not completely true. I did a bunch of venue tours. Um worked saturday, and then we went over to my mom's house and we swam with the babes and we had like so much fun. So I love that. And then sunday and monday, completely relaxed and vegged at home. So we love a good rot yes, we rotted husband and the kiddos caught up on tv shows, and I read so many tv shows that I'm like watching right now or that I like have binged.
Speaker 2:We got the summer I turn pretty, if you guys also love. I know you haven't seen it, but it's literally exactly like the summer I turn pretty but country western vibes kind of okay. Um, it's called my life with the walter boys, but it's the same thing. It's a girl that comes in two brothers love triangle and I already been just second season and I need more, but I have. I have confirmation from netflix that they're already filming a third season, so it will continue and watching. I didn't realize how much I love documentaries and I realized I get it from my dad because he watched documentaries like all the time. So I've been doing those. I watched the high school catfish one. If you guys have not seen that, oh my gosh, that is a lot to unpack but it's really good. So, okay, I love a good. Yep, so you're a documentary girly.
Speaker 1:I'm the book girly, you are I wish I was a book girly who?
Speaker 1:I am not. What did you just finish? Well? So what got me into the love of books is the akatar series, which is a court of thorns and roses. Okay, um, it's like fairy fantasy, which is so not my vibe at all. I've never been like a fairy girl. You're like she was a fairy, yes, but then I started it. I actually picked up the first book when we went to Hawaii because I needed something that wasn't personal development related and read a little bit in Hawaii, but then really got into it in the fall of last year.
Speaker 1:Reading is my out for my ADHD and my brain of planning and raising a family and my job. Reading is my outlet because everything else goes quiet when I'm raising a family and my job. Reading is my outlet because everything else goes quiet when I'm in a book and so that's like where I find like my mental clarity or peace in my brain. So started this ACOTAR series and absolutely fell in love. It's actually really funny.
Speaker 1:In January we had to go to a family member's wedding. I was attending as a guest and I finished the last book in the series that has been published, because she's still finishing the series and I was like a total wreck at the wedding. I just sat there and my husband's like do you want me to get you a drink? Do we need to go? I was like I want to go home, I don't even want to be here. And he's like you need to be a better human, need to be a better human. She's like bring it on back, girl. Yes, and so read that. And then so what it? What has transformed into where I'm currently at is the author is working on book six of the akatar series, but they're like multiverses and her like all of she, so she has three different series and they're all connected, kind of like the marvel movies, like how they're like multiverse or like, yeah, multiverse series and apparently book six is what is going to connect the other two series.
Speaker 1:So that means I have to read 13 books before book six drops. So 13 books, 13 books. So I've read. Um, so I started the thorn or the throne glass series okay, throne of glass series and I. It took me like a month and a half. I started it like mid-july and I'm like this is so lame. Well, I ended up finishing that book on wednesday and then thursday and friday, finished the next one, and then saturday, sunday, finished the next one, and then Saturday, sunday, finished the next one, and then Monday, tuesday, just finished, like the novella which is like the prequel of the whole series and it's like her life story. Oh my gosh, grace, I'm like broken inside. That's like a huge rabbit hole. It is a whole thing that's insane. You like totally, this character is phenomenal.
Speaker 2:So, no, I love that I am going to talk about weddings today and not be all yeah, we had to ramble a little bit, we had to catch up, we had to catch up on everything, so so, that's where I am, you're you keep, you keep on them.
Speaker 1:Documentaries. I did just watch yeah um, the documentary, have you watched the one on the long island? Uh, serial killer. No, that one is good, it's, it's fascinating. Okay, we did. I did binge that one when I took a book or a break from reading on monday I watched actually, I was cooking dinner and tomas was watching it. Um, the long island serial killer. It's on netflix. Dude, it is wild, it was slow at first, yeah, but oh my, I do love a serial killer doc series.
Speaker 1:I would not be shocked if Netflix ends up. You know how they did with like the Dahmer and oh like actual like TV series.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't be surprised if they make a TV series out of this serial killer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, murder thing Cause. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:So the tea is piping? No, it is like it's.
Speaker 1:It's wild.
Speaker 2:Crazy. Yes, I'll check it out, but all right, it's micro weddings.
Speaker 1:So, we decided to do an episode on micro weddings. Um, we did a poll on Instagram and our listeners are not showing right now that they are micro wedding girlies, but that is okay. I'm finding that, um, like three out of 10 of the weddings that I consult with or have any type of communication with is under the umbrella of micro weddings, so felt this was a really good series or a very good topic to discuss today, because, um, just because you're doing a micro wedding does not mean that it is going to be a cheaper. I think that there think that there are some myths when it comes to micro weddings. So, um, the definition of a micro wedding is typically fewer than 50 guests. Um, is still like a traditional wedding, but the gas count is smaller and the? Um it is just toned down a bit. But, but we have seen that shift post-COVID, that micro weddings can still cost you $50,000. So these have gained popularity, like I said, especially since COVID, because after COVID people were still doing weddings, or mid-COVID people were still getting married, but they had to tone it down due to our favorite social distancing barf. So today we're going to talk about some trends, pros and cons, some advice, and let's talk a little bit at the end.
Speaker 1:Grace, I want us to talk about your wedding. You did not fall under the category of a micro wedding, as that is typically 20 to 50 guests. However, your guest count was a few more than 50. So I obviously had a micro wedding, as that is typically 20 to 50 guests. However, your guest count was a few more than 50. So I obviously had a micro wedding myself 13 years ago, but we will not talk about my wedding. So yeah, grace, take over.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I think it's crazy how big micro weddings have gotten and I genuinely don't think I realized mine was technically a micro wedding. It is 50 or fewer. I think our final guest count was about 58. So right there on the cusp. But I'm just going to be honest, I had 58 guests and my wedding still cost me $30,000. So I don't know if I even maybe this is a hot take. I don't even know if I like the term micro wedding. Really, I don't know. I feel like a wedding's a wedding at this day and age, with how costly everything is like we're going to dive into. It's just half the time. These micro weddings are still the same amount as a normal wedding. Obviously, you're going to spend more if your guest count is higher, but I don't know. I just I feel like that's almost, I guess, elopement. How much? How many guests would you say would like? Would you think is an elopement Like? I feel like even 20 would be like an elopement. But then they're saying that's a micro wedding.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'd say like two to 20 is an elopement and then like 20 to 50 is a micro wedding. I think that the term micro wedding just has a. It puts a bad taste in your mouth because it feels like it's not as real or feels as genuine as a wedding wedding. Like I see micro weddings as the real deal, but I feel like there is this like negative side to micro. I don't know, because you're kind of on that same vibe, I'm feeling.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know. I think, yeah, I get where they come in, because I do think there can be a bunch of benefits which we'll hop into, especially when it comes to guest count maybe making sure we don't hurt people's feelings, so can use that term, as we're having a micro wedding to make sure everyone's happy. But yeah, definitely I feel like they're definitely gaining popularity because of the whole COVID shift you brought up. It's insane how I can't even imagine being a COVID bride to have spent so many I actually have a friend who was a COVID bride and just to plan something for so long and just be so excited and then to have that almost not almost technically ripped away from you and then, if you're still wanting to get married, either the date you picked or in a timely manner of when you're going to get married, you couldn't have a lot of guests still, there was no way it was allowed. And so we feel for you, covid brides.
Speaker 1:I also think that it depended on the part of the country or the world that you were located, arizona and Florida were not very strict by any means.
Speaker 1:Obviously, that was a hot political ruffled feathers at that time period because there were other states that were completely shut down. New York, california, streets were empty and Florida was having parties and I didn't think, I didn't feel like our lives changed very much. My husband and I were both considered essential workers. So, yes, there were some shifts to it. But Then there were countries like Italy where they were locking people up if they left their house. You know what I mean? That was so crazy. It still affected the wedding industry, oh, big time. And those gatherings and the travels of those gatherings, Definitely.
Speaker 2:Well, like I said, talking about elopements, I think the rise of elopements and destination weddings, they kind of are like morphing into micro weddings. I feel like it's almost like if you're going to say 25 to less people, I personally feel like that's the size of an elopement. So I feel like we might end up seeing just a I don't know, I guess a morphing of both the two elopements and micro weddings.
Speaker 1:So we'll see, it's funny because when I host Thanksgiving, my husband's side marrying into the Hispanic family.
Speaker 2:When I host Thanksgiving-.
Speaker 1:You guys have a micro Thanksgiving. We have a. I host 48 people every Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, 48 people. Yes, I hosted my first Thanksgiving last year because we had like a new spot and I think we only had like oh no, I lied like 17 people and that was like, as said, I think I'm good on hosting until we get like something bigger or have more time to do it, because it's a lot, it's so much, it's a big undertaking.
Speaker 1:It is Well, luckily, with the family. Everybody showed up with food because oh, of course they have to. It was helpful. So that is my random note. If it was my family it would not be as large, but with this extended family there were 48 of us.
Speaker 2:If you guys did like another wedding or vow renewal, do you think it'd be a micro or would you have to make it big?
Speaker 1:Oh, it would have to be huge at this point would have to be huge. My family loves my family loves my husband more than they love me. Why is that? My oh?
Speaker 2:my mom sometimes yes, we joke about it. I'm like to my friends and, uh, our family, I think I go, I think, um, my mom likes my husband more than me sometimes, yeah, and I'm the favorite child, so I don't have a lot to compete with, I guess.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, he is in my mom's phone as my favorite son-in-law and there is constantly like that's what she refers to him as and he can do absolutely no wrong in my mother's eyes. She loves and adores him.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, they're perfect, little they're just little yeah, but which?
Speaker 1:is good for us, though you know it's like, okay, our parents, mother-in-law, our mothers love them, so, uh, I'll take that over not getting along correct no 100, and his family, um, has really accepted me and so would I have to then and they adore me so there's some horns under that halo, but we have made our mark and are finally Gucci in that arena. I love that. But with that, if we were to do a vow renewal, do a, I don't know, it's crazy to think, because we said we'd do one at 10 years and have a wedding. Well, that we sneezed and we were 10 years married. Now would we do 15 years? That's like. That's like two years away. I don't. That's like crazy to think that we would do something in two years?
Speaker 2:I don't I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know. We'll see If I, if I do you do you'll help me plan it. Am I getting invited? You'll be invited, maybe you can.
Speaker 2:I'll be the. Since you're the wedding planner, I'll take over, and then I'll be the wedding planner, okay, and then you can actually be the bride.
Speaker 1:And I will have it very well documented yes, yes, and have you memorize it. So let's talk about benefits of micro weddings. Yes, cost saving benefits of micro weddings. Um cost saving, venues, catering, decor. So, venue you're probably not going to save a bunch of money on your venue. The venues are standard. It doesn't matter if you have um 20 people, 50 people or 250 people. Your venue still has to turn the lights on and operate as a venue, so your venue cost is probably going to be the same.
Speaker 1:Catering yes, you will save money on catering, because that is going to have to do with headcount and how many people you are feeding your decor yes, you are going to save on decor, tablescapes you're only going to have to decorate five to 10 tables versus 20 to 35 tables. So, yes, you will save costs those ways to 35 tables. So, yes, you will save costs those ways. If you are looking at other venue options backyards, restaurant, airbnb, destination spots yes, you could save money. However, I'm constantly having this conversation with people who are looking at backyard weddings or doing it themselves. You are going to spend money on your tables and your chairs, those rental items, the tents. I just met with somebody, probably in the last two weeks and they were saying that the reason that they are going a venue this route for this kiddo versus their backyard they live on a bunch of land and their older kiddo that got married was so expensive because they had to bring in the tent and the dance floor and the tables and the chairs and the linens and that cost was just astronomical and everything that went into it it pretty much equated to the venue. So make sure you're doing cost comparisons when you're looking at those options. Yes, it is an option. It does not mean that it might save you money.
Speaker 1:Another benefit of the micro wedding is you can have better conversations and deeper connections with your guests during your time because you're not having to bounce person to person thanking them for coming, doing a 30 second catch up. It's not like speed dating with your guests. You can really have some intimate time. The other great option with that is you can personalize the experience. You can do custom vows, curated menus and just unique entertainment.
Speaker 1:The other benefit is it is a little more eco-friendly, which we do have an episode coming up this fall where we're going to talk all about eco-friendly weddings and being less wasteful. That seems to be a very trendy thing that is coming up quickly, so we'll save that for that upcoming episode. But those are some of your benefits to having a micro wedding. Again, popping back into costs, photo video you're not going to save money by having less people at your wedding. With photo video they are still there to do their job. You might save by not needing a second photographer, but that's only a few hundred dollars when you're looking at it from the grand scheme of things. So, grace, what would you say some challenges are when it comes to having a micro wedding.
Speaker 2:Of course, like we've talked about, if it's a small, micro wedding, the limited guest list could potentially hurt feelings whether that's friends, family.
Speaker 2:I will say it's funny, because now I'm just going to be like you know what? I had a micro wedding. I'm just going to say that because I didn't have that many people. So for me I definitely had a challenge of people who did have hurt feelings, who weren't invited. But again, like we've talked about, day in and day out is your wedding. So if you don't want to invite people you don't want to invite, you don't have to. So thinking about that could be a challenge of hurting potential feelings, but that is just going to come with it.
Speaker 2:Also, some vendors may have minimum or less flexibility for smaller events maybe smaller guest counts, or less flexibility for smaller events, maybe smaller guest counts. Um, I think of this more in the sense of when it comes to, maybe, if you're doing, um, late night snacks or things like that, those vendors might need a guest list of a certain amount. And two, I think. Also I don't know about what you think, but catering too, I think it's always there's usually at least a minimum for how much you need to order. So that could be a potential problem and it's not always cheaper if you're going to go high end and other ways. So you know, bachelorette parties, bridal showers there's so many things besides just the wedding day that you're going to be spending money on. So just because maybe you're not spending as much money on the day of, doesn't mean you might end up spending money elsewhere, correct?
Speaker 2:Even the dress, oh my gosh, just because you're having a micro wedding, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Does not mean your dress and alterations are going to be cheaper.
Speaker 2:Yes, my $1,300 dress alterations, which is still mind blowing to me. I look snatched, though, so it's fine, you are stunning, thank you. But yeah, so those are definitely some challenges and trade-offs that can come with having the micro wedding, but I don't know. I think I'm just still in the spot that it's the same amount of money as a regular wedding. I don't think, unfortunately, there's any cheap route anymore, unless you really are doing the elopement way. If you're really wanting to save money and not spend money on a wedding, don't do a micro wedding, have an elopement, because it just adds up to the same amount.
Speaker 1:I feel like I've seen elopement packages across the country, um, because I've had I've had brides send them over to me um, just for, like, basic consultation. Is this everything we need? Do we need to add more things? What are your thoughts on this timeframe and, like, what's included in this all-inclusive elopement package? And they usually still start around $10,000. Yeah, and granted, that might be for everything I mean not including your dress but I feel like elopement packages I'm seeing are still starting at 10,000.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just feel like at this point it's like, yeah, you can nickel and dime and find different ways to save it and make it a micro wedding, but, just like you said, it doesn't matter your wedding party or size or guest count for the photographer, the videographer, all these other things, that they don't care how much your signage is still going to cost.
Speaker 1:Literally, you might save on alcohol. Yeah, true, there's definitely ways that you're going to save, but it depends on your guests.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if your guests are partiers, then you're going to just have to buy the same amount of alcohol regardless. So I don't know.
Speaker 1:So some trends we are seeing in micro weddings this study comes from 2024 and 2025. Micro weddings, weekday weddings those are trending in the micro world Monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday weddings. Honestly, I don't know if this is more of a micro wedding trend or just a wedding trend in general, because post-COVID, when you were looking for a date to get married, you would take any day of the week. It seems like the traditional weekend has gone out the window and I will be honest, I see people party just as hard on a Monday or Tuesday as they do on a Friday or Saturday. You said I'm going to be hungover at work, but you know, yes, I've done enough weekday weddings. That in my head I'm like oh yeah, this is good, everybody's going to head out early, everybody works tomorrow. No, sometimes I go home more exhausted because I set my head up that it was going to be an easy peasy night and heck, no, it is not.
Speaker 1:Non-traditional venues are trending Art galleries, private gardens, the oh, what are those? National parks, different pieces like that. Something more intimate is trending in the micro world. And then themed micro weddings either, like you know, vintage, boho, minimalist, the 1920s kind of took a, took a round back into, you know, the 2020s. We have seen um and then the other trends we are seeing is destination micro weddings with the guests. If you have a smaller wedding guest list, then that destination is taking place and the other trend is live streaming or recording for those who are not invited. Please don't Okay.
Speaker 2:Wait, wait, wait, wait, like okay. This is funny because my husband would always joke that, oh, we're going to have someone live stream our wedding because we had such a small wedding and you know he had all his work buddies that he became close with, kind of after the guests and all the invitations were sent. So he would always joke oh, we're going to have someone live stream it. I said, no, that just feels awkward. How do you feel?
Speaker 1:about that? Um, I think I am not. Uh, this will totally get hate for this, but I think live streaming your wedding can be so tacky if it's like a general google, like here's a google meets or here's a zoom link to like watch the wedding but not be invited, like the only live streams.
Speaker 1:Like I woke up in the middle of the night to watch, uh, prince harry get married and yeah, but that's like a celebrity that's totally different and I remember princess diana's wedding was live streamed because my parent, my mom, I'll like she woke me up to come watch princess diana's wedding and I'm like, I'm like four, I don't. He said I don't care, why do I care about this? Um, really, those ones make sense if they're. I have had people like try to get venue Wi-Fi because they need to live stream for maybe elderly grandparents that weren't in good enough health to travel. Those one-offs, I think, are absolutely appropriate. Let them be there to celebrate the special day. Now that we have modern technology, that makes sense to me. For those ones that can't make it, if a family member is deployed and they weren't approved to come to the wedding, let them be there to watch it.
Speaker 2:I think it should just be hey, we have. If you don't have a videographer, then I guess because you could post a video or send it to them. I just don't know. I don't see the point ever of live streaming and webbing. I think that's so weird and so awkward.
Speaker 1:I can think in my head of the family members that would not have been able to make my wedding because of their health.
Speaker 2:I know what. Do you just have someone recorded? I don't know, because if you're, if you're live streaming, are you coordinating someone to post this or?
Speaker 1:like it's, it's live so. I know, but like set up a camera and they get your family members get to watch it live.
Speaker 2:I know, but I know, but we're, but I just feel like I wouldn't want like a tripod, like sitting in the back of like my ceremony space, like with, uh, like that's how they did weddings in the 90s.
Speaker 1:Okay, we're not in the 90s anymore 2025. All I'm saying we're gonna agree to disagree on this one. We can, we can. I think it's okay to live stream for like a few individuals, like FaceTime them, but live streaming for like the world, yeah, hit it with the FaceTime.
Speaker 2:I would rather do that than because once you post a live stream, I think isn't it in your drawers? I don't know.
Speaker 1:This isn't live streaming on Instagram or TikTok. Grace. It's like through a private link to live stream. Like churches, live stream each week or TikTok Grace. It's like through a private link to live stream, like churches live stream each week or like it's not on social media for everybody to grab. I think we have a different definition of what live streaming is, but we can agree to disagree.
Speaker 2:We're more tailored of exactly what this live stream is looking like.
Speaker 1:Oh, my goodness, all right, no, I'm just kidding. Okay, my turn. How about we?
Speaker 2:move on to planning tips for micro weddings. Yes, okay, planning tips for your micro wedding that do not have to do with live streaming, that have no live streams to do with this. First of all, of course, even if you're not doing micro wedding, prioritize your values. What's most important? If you're balling on a budget, then definitely would make a list of what is most important for you and your significant other to have on your wedding day. The next thing trim the guest list thoroughly. Are you wanting just family only? Are we doing the closest friends? I think that's definitely going to help. Sometimes it could also help with people not being invited, saying hey, it's only family, so no friends are invited, or vice versa. And let's see. Invest in experience over the quantity. So maybe do a crazy fun photo booth or have a late night snack that everyone's going to enjoy. That's something that still gives your guests, maybe that over the top experience, but you're not spending that throughout the whole wedding. So maybe have that one little thing at the end or during cocktail hour that's going to bring that pizzazz for your guests to enjoy. And, of course, either use a planner or either a day of coordinator or make sure there's someone there to vouch for you.
Speaker 2:Even small weddings need a coordinator. Coordination. You, as the bride groom, do not want to be dealing with stuff that you don't want to have to deal with on your wedding day. You want to be focused on enjoying yourself and spending time with your significant other. So make sure you have a coordinator or planner to take care of you. It doesn't matter the size of the wedding. You're going to need someone. And, lastly, communication is key. Just be transparent with invited guests. This is a small wedding. We have a certain budget we want to stick to, because it can be tough. Sometimes you can lose friendships, family members during wedding time, because weddings just bring out the best in people. So just do what's best for you guys and just make sure you are intentional with communication with the uninvited guests.
Speaker 1:I agree. So, just to wrap up, micro weddings are about the intimacy, intentionality and the love. This is, between you guys, what you're wanting. Make sure that you are really communicating with your significant other, with your fiance, what your version of your dream wedding is. It does not matter what anybody else wants. This is what the two of you want. So good luck with your micro wedding planning. Like we said, it is not about what the world wants. This is your special day and you can make it whatever you dream of it. So be sure to check out next week's episode of the podcast. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok for the daily lives of Kelsey and Grace. That is where you will find tidbits, clips of the podcast. And, yeah, we are so excited for your special day. So bye guys, bye.