Wedding Hive Podcast
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Wedding Hive Podcast
025- A Sit Down With Kelsey From The Wedding Hive
Grace is gone and I have the mic all to myself! Lets get real and raw today!
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Hey Queens, welcome back to another episode of the Wedding Hive podcast. So today is a very special day because Grace is sailing off to her honeymoon. I know this is something that she has talked about quite often on the podcast prepping, planning. So today you get just myself, kelsey, for this episode. We are so excited that Grace is able to go enjoy her one-year anniversary in Europe and are wishing her safe travels, fun and lots of memories for her and John. So for today's episode, we are going to keep it slightly simple, short, sweet and to the point.
Speaker 1:This past man, I want to say this past week or so, have, um, stirred a lot of emotions, unless you are living under a rock. Um, there have been a lot of events taking place in our country and, um, things have been heavy. Um, regardless of where you stand on your political views, regardless of where you stand on your political views, religious views, it's been a pretty heavy week for all of us. So I decided to switch it up today and talk through wedding stuff, yes, but also mental health. So we are going to dive into it. I just first off want to acknowledge how stressful weddings can be the planning. They are overwhelming emotional, financially, socially, just trying to plan prep, do all of the things, make all the check marks and, to be completely honest, statistics prove that wedding stress over 70% of couples say planning has been the most stressful part of their relationship. So that is why we created this podcast. We wanted to really come in and provide resources and knowledge and tools so this process doesn't have to be so stressful for you. So let's dive into it.
Speaker 1:First off, we it is so important to understand the signs when you are near burnout. Now this can apply in your wedding planning process. But again, I also want to acknowledge mental health. So, um, some signs of burnout. You might notice emotional signs first irritability, mood swings, anxiety, um, signs of near burnout, sleep issues, headache, fatigue and behavioral signs, over-controlling or decision paralysis. I will be so honest. I've had decision paralysis over the last week because I and it's not even like wedding planning, it's just been in general our kiddos have gone back to school, my husband's work, stuff, we're getting ready to launch into wedding season and it was to the point of the other night where I couldn't even decide what I wanted to make for dinner because decision paralysis took over and there was nothing that I could even figure out what to do because my brain was just so overwhelmed. So if these are things that you are recognizing, some near signs of burnout in the wedding planning process or even just in your day to day life, I'm going to share some practical grounding tools to really help in the situation. And I just want to acknowledge this is completely normal. This is not failure, this is not weakness. This is not a sign that you are unable to make decisions or you are not strong enough. This has nothing to do with that. You are human and we are all human, and sometimes simply being a human is overwhelming. So I know that when our kiddos were little and my husband would come home and it appeared that I did nothing but lay in bed all day and watch Netflix, he was always so good to know that I probably did everything in my power to take care of the kiddos and keep us all alive and thriving for the day, and that was as much that could get done that day. So let's chat through some practical grounding tips. So breathing techniques Breathing is so, so important.
Speaker 1:There are tons of scientific studies and I feel like this is something that is becoming more normalized in the world of psychology that breathing is so important. There is lots of different methods. There's box breathing, there's the four, seven, eight method. You can inhale to 10, exhale to 10, slowly counting. That helps re-regulate the nervous system. One of my favorite gentlemen on YouTube his name is Wu Han. I know I am probably completely butchering it. It starts with a W. It has millions and millions of views. His breathing techniques are so intense. But man, do they regulate my body? Because breathing we get in our head, we start rapidly breathing. It's one of those things to help center and ground you.
Speaker 1:Another tip is what can you control today? Let's be honest, mindset is so important and there are things that we have control over and unfortunately, there are lots of things that we have no control over and we like to think we're in control of everything, but the reality is we're not. So just really centering and thinking what do I have control over today? I know that I have control over my reaction and my response. Maybe not the feeling, but how it comes out is so important. Those are things that I do have control over how I'm going to react when an email comes through and I got completely over-quoted by a vendor that is out of my couple's budget and I am now in a really tough spot because we desperately need to get this contract locked in and we are over budget. So instead of me sending this nasty email telling them to kick rocks, screw you, I can take a deep breath, exhale and think about my response. Maybe get some follow-up information, get some clarity on the quote, see if there's any deals that we can work out. But at the end of the day, I do not have control over how much something is going to cost when that is how the business is run. So really thinking through, what can you control?
Speaker 1:Another tip is a digital detox, and I brought this up. Um, I want to say yesterday I brought this up to our producer and I said I have not been on social media for a few days and I have noticed so much mental clarity and and the sleepless nights aren't taking place, because social media is a great resource, but it can also be a major hindrance in the way that we see life, view life and man. Social media it can be used for so much good, but it can also be so toxic. Used for so much good, but it can also be so toxic. And when you are in the wedding planning process. Social media comparison trap is so real. You are going to get on social media and look for some really cool ideas and next thing you know you are down a rabbit hole. You have 17 more things on your list because you're thinking how can I be better or best or duplicate this when that's not what you were on there for in the first place?
Speaker 1:So I would highly encourage a social media detox at some point, if it's once a week, if it is at different points in the planning process. But once you're starting to notice those negative effects from social media and you're getting off of you know, instagram, tiktok, facebook, whatever social media platforms that you're following when you get off and you go, yep, I feel like garbage or that was a draining. Maybe it's okay to take a detox or start setting timers on your phone. I have timers on my personal phone. I only allow so many minutes per day to be spent on those apps because I am the girl that, please, please. I would love to know that I am not the only one, but I could scroll for hours and hours completely mindless and get absolutely nothing done, and so it is a boundary that I have set in my own personal life. Obviously, with business social medias I have to be a little more attentive to, but that's not just mindless scrolling, so I will harp on this till I'm blue in the face. Please take social media detoxes or set boundaries with social media, because social media comparison in the wedding world is so real.
Speaker 1:Another practical tool is I would create a non-wedding day weekly. So hear me out. One day a week, whichever day, makes sense for you and your partner, there is no wedding planning. Talking that way, wedding planning doesn't completely consume your brain. Every conversation, every piece of it, revolves around wedding planning. So pick one day a week. Hey, on this day we don't talk about the wedding, we don't talk about the planning. Let's just go on with life. And the last one is to utilize a checklist to unload mental clutter.
Speaker 1:I have gone into a really good habit that I have a sticky note next to my bed and a pen and we get into bed at night. Husband and I chat as soon as I lay down and I've gotten better through the years. However, that sticky note is intended for all my mental brain dump. I forgot to buy dog food. I need to get this load of laundry done. There is a dress that I need to take to the dry cleaner. Oh my gosh, I forgot to put money on one of the kids' lunch balances. Oh, this couple needs. I need to reach out to their photographer again because I haven't heard from him. All of those things are a mental dump onto that sticky note so I'm able to go to sleep at night and not constantly think about it, because then the next day I will wake up freaking out that I am missing whatever thought process was taking place at bedtime.
Speaker 1:So, really utilizing checklists, however, that works for you. I have sticky notes for in the morning how I want to get tasks done for the day. I use Google Sheets, I've used my Apple Notes, just different places where you're able to create checklists. I would advise keeping those checklists kind of organized in one spot I am so prone to sticky note craziness where I at one point had sticky notes all over my house because that's where I remembered the grocery list and the laundry schedule and the work stuff and so keep it organized with a really pretty bow so you don't find random things or you end up losing a sticky note digital. If that is your way to go, then I'm so happy that that works for you. I'm a pen and paper girl through and through, so checklists are important. That way you are able to unload any mental clutter. So let's talk about the conversations and communication with others.
Speaker 1:When it comes to stress, communication with your partner is so important. You want to have honest, open conversations. Be very careful with the tone of those conversations and make sure that you're not applying blame. The last thing you want to do is voice your stress. I'm feeling overwhelmed and it turned into a bigger fire that has ignited because you put gasoline on the small fire and now it has blown up because they are feeling like you are accusing them of not doing their part. Make sure you're having conversations, maybe delegating different things. I've worked with some phenomenal couples where at the very beginning, we delegated who does what. Then everybody kind of has their lists and bride or groom would say you know, I'd ask a question about something and bride will go actually, groom is handling that, and so then I'd follow up with groom. Hey, how is this going? Is there anything I can help with? Can we work through your playlist? What is the communication? Look like All of those different pieces are so important.
Speaker 1:So, having honest conversations without blame. And then my next piece of advice is what to say when family and friends are adding pressure. Make sure that you are communicating in a loving way. Hey, I really appreciate your opinion, your comment. I think that's a great idea. This is something that me and my partner or me and my significant other we are going to discuss, and I appreciate it. Being very open and saying thank you but no thank you, without ruffling feathers and trying to keep the peace Again if somebody reaches out to you on a day that is a non-wedding day. Thank you so much for the text message. I'm going to text you back tomorrow and, honestly, you can turn your phone on do not disturb. That is like a lifesaver. Whoever came up with a do not disturb on the phones? They need a raise.
Speaker 1:Another thing is, I would script your phrases when setting boundaries. So we appreciate your opinion, but we're going to take a different approach. We appreciate your opinion, your thought, we're going to go in a different direction. That is an okay way and a safe way to say thank you but no thank you. And if you are really struggling with your mental health through the planning process in this world that we are living in, I highly, highly advise seeking professional help. Therapists, counselors, are phenomenal. I've said it on this podcast multiple times, but 2020 with COVID, really encouraged and brought light to the world of counseling and therapy and people saying hey, I'm not okay and it being more normal, because the reality is we can all use help. So if that is something that you are looking for, please seek a professional counselor, a professional therapist, somebody in the world to really help navigate your stress, mental health and mindset.
Speaker 1:I am going to close this out with a few more pieces, but really quick. Remember your why. Why are you getting married? What does this mean to you you and your significant other? Making sure that you are aligning with your why, connecting the purpose of the wedding. You are getting married to the love of your life. You are going to spend forever with them. This is a fun event to celebrate.
Speaker 1:Ask yourself what will matter in five years from now. What are the things that you really care about? To look back on, and I would write down three things you're most excited about outside of the wedding day. When your focus is so caught up on wedding planning, it is hard to see things outside of that. So what are some things you're excited about that don't have anything to do with the wedding, and it could be anything. So those are some things that I would highly advise.
Speaker 1:But I want to assure you you are not alone and you do not have to be perfect.
Speaker 1:None of us are, and if people claim to be, well, just smile, because the reality is, nobody is perfect.
Speaker 1:You are not expected to be perfect.
Speaker 1:I do not expect you to be perfect. If that is something that you need to hear, let me be the one to tell you. I do not expect you to be perfect and you are not alone. I would encourage you to check in with somebody that partner, having those regular conversations and if you are looking for any helpful resources, look for some therapy directories on where you're located. I'm so sorry I only have there a few resources for the Phoenix metro area, but different apps Headspace, calm those are really good breathing and meditation apps and if you have any thoughts, questions, concerns, you are always welcome to slide into our DMs on Instagram. Grace and I are more than happy to walk alongside you for a big question, little question. We are here to support you and, like I said, you are not alone. So that wraps up today's episode of the Daily Buzz. Be sure to check us out on Instagram, tiktok. You can find this podcast on any podcast form Apple Music, spotify and know that you are in my thoughts and you got this. Queens Bye.